[Music]
[Applause]
what I have in this box led me for the
first half of my life to try to emulate
it perfectly and because of that I began
to have health problems emotional
problems almost a nervous breakdown and
it literally almost physically took my
life what’s in this same box but a
little different led me to find my
mission my purpose in life what was in
this box but a little different then
saved my life and put me on this stage
right now before you what’s in this box
it’s a Barbie
I don’t have too many memories of being
very young but one of my favorite
memories and first memories was when I
was 3 years old I rushed down the stairs
at Christmas and found a box just like
that now I had been waiting for two
years to get this box
I’d been asking can I have a Barbie can
I have a Barbie can I have a Barbie or
Barbie when I couldn’t even use those
whole thinit’s together the box says
ages three and up on my third Christmas
I found that box and I ripped into it to
come face-to-face with my first Barbie
and that was the first time I cried
tears of joy I hugged that Barbie to me
and right there and then I promised I
was gonna be Barbie it didn’t matter
what it took or what I had to sacrifice
I would be Barbie it was going pretty
well I meticulously died of my black
curly hair two blind as soon as I
possibly could I cut it in a bob and I
strained it multiple times a day
the 139 pounds in front of you was down
to what I thought at age 19 and until I
was 28 as a slim Barbie 82 pounds I went
to Community College put myself through
college and I found my kin blonde hair
blue eyes came from a great family
well-off played tennis May Nationals in
his high school and then in college
everything was going perfectly we dated
for 10 years and then he proposed to me
and put a four and a half carat ring on
my finger I had my Barbie ring I had my
kin we moved into Preston Hollow which
is where George W Bush lives
I had my Barbie house I had my Barbie
car a champagne Lexus
and to the outside everything looked
picture-perfect inside was a totally
different story I was abused in every
way possible inside that Barbie house
but my kin because I didn’t feel of
worth no matter how perfect I tried to
look no matter how much I tried to cram
myself in that Barbie box something
wasn’t working for me but I still kept
that smile I started to have health
problems stomach issues then rashes I
was diagnosed with four autoimmune
diseases and then I started to lose my
hair
not just strands here and there I would
wake up engulfed in my own hair
sometimes I even had nightmares that I
was suffocating because of all the hair
that was falling out and into my mouth
why slept I was in denial I continued to
try to fake it till I made it my
situation worsened by the time I was 27
I had a four and a half minute seizure I
was diagnosed with my fifth Ottawa
immune disease alopecia universalis you
will never get your hair back they said
it will fall out everywhere this to me
was a death sentence you see I can deal
with the fact that I almost had a
cardiac arrest at 28 I could hide it I
can do with the fact that my stomach
would not allow me to eat foods pretty
much any food anymore I could deal with
the abuse so I thought I could suppress
all of it because my out the way I
looked outside was still perfect but
when I lost my hair I could no longer
hide behind it it was terrifying
and I thought my life was over I
actually wore wigs
to sleep in because I didn’t want my kin
to see
me as anything less than perfect again I
tried to cram myself in that Barbie box
so badly there came a point when I went
to church and it was 102 degrees the AC
was off there was no AC that day and I
remember being in the bathroom sobbing
trying to put wet paper towels on top of
my head underneath my wig and something
clicked I heard this voice say you’re
stronger than this keep going you can do
it without the wig just keep going keep
going
I didn’t 100% believe it but something
inside of me knew that hair was not
gonna conquer me I had been through too
much and too far to let a little bit
baldness ruin my Sunday experience and I
did the most terrifying thing I had done
up to then I took off my wig and I
marched into that sanctuary where
everyone I had ever gone to church with
since I was small was there now let me
just paint a picture when you have seen
someone for 30 years and they walk into
the bathroom stall and walk out bald
it’s a little strange I always told them
I’m sure they were thinking what stall
did you use because I’m not using that
stall that’s back but in that moment
they accepted me sure had some double
looks I mean you know that happens when
you go in with hair come out without
hair but it wasn’t this whole thing I
built inside my mind it wasn’t I started
to refuse to wear my wig I worked where
my husband worked and I refused to wear
my wig it was uncomfortable and I was
tired of hiding
they didn’t enjoy that at all especially
since I was the marketing and event
coordinator for brokers in the Dallas
area I
supposed to look a certain way and I
when I refused to look that way I was
laid off shortly after I got the best
present I had ever gotten from my
husband on our two-year wedding
anniversary
he gave me divorce papers you’re out I
am 29 I was 30 when I moved out of that
house I have no job all of my friends
had disappeared when they learned that
my husband was filing for divorce I had
no home I had no prospects I didn’t have
any money what was I gonna do who would
ever love me like this
I was unhealthy I was having panic
attacks and depression I’m talking panic
attacks while you’re on the floor in a
fetal position multiple times a day and
the doctors answer was here’s some
medicine and when the medicine had side
effects here’s some more medicine for
the medicine side-effect and so on and
so on and so on I was dying by trying to
numb myself up during that time even
though I had no idea what to do I kept
hearing that voice keep going keep going
keep going and sometimes I’m not gonna
lie it made me mad I can’t do this I’m
not strong enough I don’t know what you
want from me move on the whole cliche if
it doesn’t what doesn’t kill you makes
you stronger infuriated me move on I’ve
had my share I am the victim of this
when my husband handed me those divorce
papers I thought this is the end of my
life I can’t make it this is it but yet
I still kept going because I had that
voice inside of me even though I had no
idea what I was gonna do I started
volunteering I always look to help
others when I don’t know what is going
on in my life which is quite few I mean
there’s not there’s not too many times
where I bid this
lost I’ve been lost but not this lost
and I went to Children’s Medical City of
Dallas in the children’s oncology ward I
thought that I was going to teach these
kids something but as is true for when
most of us adults try to teach children
something they’re the ones who taught me
they literally saved my life you see I
was there two months before I saw a
little girl who was three and she got a
box that I knew very well except
something different was in this box but
in that one moment she started to cry
and I had an aha moment of all of these
things that I was trying to play the
victim off that I was saying oh why me
this is awful this is the end of my life
all of these things were blessings they
were gifts that I was being given so I
would have this experience so I would
know why I was here on this earth you
see what was in this Barbie box was the
bald Barbie Ella right then right there
my life changed and I knew that I had to
find out more about this doll everyone
needs one of these dolls
Mattel won’t sell her they give her away
to three nonprofits they’ll like to tell
you it’s because they just want certain
people to have the dolls that need them
but I know a better story and I think we
all do Society and especially our
society is not ready for strong powerful
unique women to step into their power
and to say no thank you with that Barbie
I’ll make my own Barbie but you know
what I figured they don’t really have a
choice anymore that’s when I found in my
company I am general Roman of the bald
Barbie army and I’m here to redefine
beauty one doll at a time my troops and
I are on a revolutionary path to
change the way that society looks at
beautiful that was my old story let me
just give you a quick rundown of what my
life looks like now I invested in myself
for the first time ever and hired an
amazing life coach Emily Rose who helped
me not form just my one business but two
so that now I can support myself I am
NOT a trophy wife I don’t have to work a
regular job I do my dream job every day
I have an amazing boyfriend of almost
two years which if you would have told
me that would have ever happened I would
have said no who’s also an advocate for
actors with disabilities I have so many
friends that love and support me and
lift me up that it blows my mind
sometimes and the whole thing is this
isn’t me being special and different
from you
this is all because I trusted a little
voice inside of me that said keep going
keep going keep going when I was writing
the speech I realized that it’s okay if
you don’t hear that voice because that’s
why I am so incredibly blessed to be up
here this is a dream come true for me
what I realized is I’m going to be that
voice for you and for everyone who sees
this I am general Roman of the ball
Barbie army and I am here to tell you
keep going keep going keep going
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
what I have in this box led me for the
first half of my life to try to emulate
it perfectly and because of that I began
to have health problems emotional
problems almost a nervous breakdown and
it literally almost physically took my
life what’s in this same box but a
little different led me to find my
mission my purpose in life what was in
this box but a little different then
saved my life and put me on this stage
right now before you what’s in this box
it’s a Barbie
I don’t have too many memories of being
very young but one of my favorite
memories and first memories was when I
was 3 years old I rushed down the stairs
at Christmas and found a box just like
that now I had been waiting for two
years to get this box
I’d been asking can I have a Barbie can
I have a Barbie can I have a Barbie or
Barbie when I couldn’t even use those
whole thinit’s together the box says
ages three and up on my third Christmas
I found that box and I ripped into it to
come face-to-face with my first Barbie
and that was the first time I cried
tears of joy I hugged that Barbie to me
and right there and then I promised I
was gonna be Barbie it didn’t matter
what it took or what I had to sacrifice
I would be Barbie it was going pretty
well I meticulously died of my black
curly hair two blind as soon as I
possibly could I cut it in a bob and I
strained it multiple times a day
the 139 pounds in front of you was down
to what I thought at age 19 and until I
was 28 as a slim Barbie 82 pounds I went
to Community College put myself through
college and I found my kin blonde hair
blue eyes came from a great family
well-off played tennis May Nationals in
his high school and then in college
everything was going perfectly we dated
for 10 years and then he proposed to me
and put a four and a half carat ring on
my finger I had my Barbie ring I had my
kin we moved into Preston Hollow which
is where George W Bush lives
I had my Barbie house I had my Barbie
car a champagne Lexus
and to the outside everything looked
picture-perfect inside was a totally
different story I was abused in every
way possible inside that Barbie house
but my kin because I didn’t feel of
worth no matter how perfect I tried to
look no matter how much I tried to cram
myself in that Barbie box something
wasn’t working for me but I still kept
that smile I started to have health
problems stomach issues then rashes I
was diagnosed with four autoimmune
diseases and then I started to lose my
hair
not just strands here and there I would
wake up engulfed in my own hair
sometimes I even had nightmares that I
was suffocating because of all the hair
that was falling out and into my mouth
why slept I was in denial I continued to
try to fake it till I made it my
situation worsened by the time I was 27
I had a four and a half minute seizure I
was diagnosed with my fifth Ottawa
immune disease alopecia universalis you
will never get your hair back they said
it will fall out everywhere this to me
was a death sentence you see I can deal
with the fact that I almost had a
cardiac arrest at 28 I could hide it I
can do with the fact that my stomach
would not allow me to eat foods pretty
much any food anymore I could deal with
the abuse so I thought I could suppress
all of it because my out the way I
looked outside was still perfect but
when I lost my hair I could no longer
hide behind it it was terrifying
and I thought my life was over I
actually wore wigs
to sleep in because I didn’t want my kin
to see
me as anything less than perfect again I
tried to cram myself in that Barbie box
so badly there came a point when I went
to church and it was 102 degrees the AC
was off there was no AC that day and I
remember being in the bathroom sobbing
trying to put wet paper towels on top of
my head underneath my wig and something
clicked I heard this voice say you’re
stronger than this keep going you can do
it without the wig just keep going keep
going
I didn’t 100% believe it but something
inside of me knew that hair was not
gonna conquer me I had been through too
much and too far to let a little bit
baldness ruin my Sunday experience and I
did the most terrifying thing I had done
up to then I took off my wig and I
marched into that sanctuary where
everyone I had ever gone to church with
since I was small was there now let me
just paint a picture when you have seen
someone for 30 years and they walk into
the bathroom stall and walk out bald
it’s a little strange I always told them
I’m sure they were thinking what stall
did you use because I’m not using that
stall that’s back but in that moment
they accepted me sure had some double
looks I mean you know that happens when
you go in with hair come out without
hair but it wasn’t this whole thing I
built inside my mind it wasn’t I started
to refuse to wear my wig I worked where
my husband worked and I refused to wear
my wig it was uncomfortable and I was
tired of hiding
they didn’t enjoy that at all especially
since I was the marketing and event
coordinator for brokers in the Dallas
area I
supposed to look a certain way and I
when I refused to look that way I was
laid off shortly after I got the best
present I had ever gotten from my
husband on our two-year wedding
anniversary
he gave me divorce papers you’re out I
am 29 I was 30 when I moved out of that
house I have no job all of my friends
had disappeared when they learned that
my husband was filing for divorce I had
no home I had no prospects I didn’t have
any money what was I gonna do who would
ever love me like this
I was unhealthy I was having panic
attacks and depression I’m talking panic
attacks while you’re on the floor in a
fetal position multiple times a day and
the doctors answer was here’s some
medicine and when the medicine had side
effects here’s some more medicine for
the medicine side-effect and so on and
so on and so on I was dying by trying to
numb myself up during that time even
though I had no idea what to do I kept
hearing that voice keep going keep going
keep going and sometimes I’m not gonna
lie it made me mad I can’t do this I’m
not strong enough I don’t know what you
want from me move on the whole cliche if
it doesn’t what doesn’t kill you makes
you stronger infuriated me move on I’ve
had my share I am the victim of this
when my husband handed me those divorce
papers I thought this is the end of my
life I can’t make it this is it but yet
I still kept going because I had that
voice inside of me even though I had no
idea what I was gonna do I started
volunteering I always look to help
others when I don’t know what is going
on in my life which is quite few I mean
there’s not there’s not too many times
where I bid this
lost I’ve been lost but not this lost
and I went to Children’s Medical City of
Dallas in the children’s oncology ward I
thought that I was going to teach these
kids something but as is true for when
most of us adults try to teach children
something they’re the ones who taught me
they literally saved my life you see I
was there two months before I saw a
little girl who was three and she got a
box that I knew very well except
something different was in this box but
in that one moment she started to cry
and I had an aha moment of all of these
things that I was trying to play the
victim off that I was saying oh why me
this is awful this is the end of my life
all of these things were blessings they
were gifts that I was being given so I
would have this experience so I would
know why I was here on this earth you
see what was in this Barbie box was the
bald Barbie Ella right then right there
my life changed and I knew that I had to
find out more about this doll everyone
needs one of these dolls
Mattel won’t sell her they give her away
to three nonprofits they’ll like to tell
you it’s because they just want certain
people to have the dolls that need them
but I know a better story and I think we
all do Society and especially our
society is not ready for strong powerful
unique women to step into their power
and to say no thank you with that Barbie
I’ll make my own Barbie but you know
what I figured they don’t really have a
choice anymore that’s when I found in my
company I am general Roman of the bald
Barbie army and I’m here to redefine
beauty one doll at a time my troops and
I are on a revolutionary path to
change the way that society looks at
beautiful that was my old story let me
just give you a quick rundown of what my
life looks like now I invested in myself
for the first time ever and hired an
amazing life coach Emily Rose who helped
me not form just my one business but two
so that now I can support myself I am
NOT a trophy wife I don’t have to work a
regular job I do my dream job every day
I have an amazing boyfriend of almost
two years which if you would have told
me that would have ever happened I would
have said no who’s also an advocate for
actors with disabilities I have so many
friends that love and support me and
lift me up that it blows my mind
sometimes and the whole thing is this
isn’t me being special and different
from you
this is all because I trusted a little
voice inside of me that said keep going
keep going keep going when I was writing
the speech I realized that it’s okay if
you don’t hear that voice because that’s
why I am so incredibly blessed to be up
here this is a dream come true for me
what I realized is I’m going to be that
voice for you and for everyone who sees
this I am general Roman of the ball
Barbie army and I am here to tell you
keep going keep going keep going
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
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