well good morning to everybody it is
really not only a great delight but also
an honor to be here at kis I have a
fairly special bond with this school and
I never thought I would be here before
not in stalking at a TEDx event because
my daughter-in-law was an alumnus and I
had heard from her many stories about
the school with great pride and
nostalgia so it is really a delight and
special for me to be here today so why
am I here today well I’m here because I
represent microscopic statistic we’re
all statistics but this is a microscopic
statistic because about 40 years ago
when it wasn’t considered very
appropriate to do so I chose to be a
diplomat and it was not considered
appropriate to do so not only in India
but anywhere in the world the numbers of
Indian of it of women diplomats were
almost microscopic anywhere I joined the
Diplomatic Service and then as you just
heard I went on to be ambassador in
various capitals of the world
Stockholm Riga Doha Tokyo and Maduro
Maduro chequered Maduro it is a capital
of the Marshall Islands a tiny country
in the Pacific Ocean so how did all this
happen
but before that I must say that this
audience perhaps doesn’t think it a big
deal to choose a career that takes you
across oceans and continents because
you’ve come from different parts of the
world but back then when I chose to be a
diplomat I must tell you that it was a
big deal
and to think of it it still is a big
deal you know to be the designated
spokesperson for your country in another
land and to be entrusted the
responsibility to build bridges of
political empathy cultural understanding
and very importantly nowadays economic
engagement with those countries
or stand before the UN at UN conferences
speak and negotiate on subjects that
affect every one of us on this planet
subjects such as global disarmament
global warming human rights basic human
rights so this is what diplomacy really
means and I was happy that through a
whole process which I will talk about I
reached this place and I will talk to
four main points about how I reached him
first is daring to dream
the second was making choices
the third was knowing my own strengths
and talents such as they were or were
not and having belief in my own
instincts the last which i think is
about what the topic of today’s TED
talks is really looking at challenge not
as a challenge but as an opportunity
that leads to empowerment and success so
to go to the beginning the beginning the
dreams the beginning was fairly ordinary
and uneventful I went to good schools I
had fairly supportive parents and I can
tell you something that when I was young
I think the first challenges I knew were
not what I faced but what I threw at
them because I just wanted to be
different I didn’t want to do things
that other girls did I wanted to have a
great career I wanted to travel
I wanted to transform the world but I
can tell you I had absolutely no clue
how I was going to go about it
I was pretty clueless maybe I had too
many clues because I kept changing my
views and my dreams with each person I
met who made an impact on me or each
circumstance or situation that I or
experience that I I had then this is a
state of being I’m sure a lot of young
people here in this room also go through
that you want to do something at this
point of time you really don’t know what
you want to do but I think it’s a
fantastic state of being because you
know what it means it means that your
mind is open
you’re seeking and you’re receptive so
what were the dreams the dreams in those
days were also kind of limited so
started off at Medicine scientist I
wanted to be a social worker
when I saw poverty which was quite
endemic in my country in those days I
wanted to be an air hostess when I was a
teenager and terribly glamor stricken as
often happens and I also wanted to be a
diplomat remember that love for travel I
had so I also wanted to be a diplomat
said those were the dreams and then we
come to the choices now this is far more
difficult I think today than it was in
my time as I said the choices were also
fairly limited so started off with
wanting to do medicine but the first
time I had to pin down and dissect this
large renata greener in the biology lab
and I fainted I discovered that this was
not for me so I changed and I decided
yes science it was going to be but let
me try chemistry so I did my first
degree in chemistry between this first
degree in chemistry meant long odds at
the lab and again I realized this really
wasn’t what I wanted to do but I must
say that it is really research is a
fantastic career and if you want to
transform the world I can’t think of
another area where you can really impact
the lives of millions of people by your
discoveries and what you can do in
research but you know it was really not
for me so I completely change all over
again and I go into the liberal arts and
then I do English literature now what’s
my point of saying this is that it’s
perfectly fine to change horses
midstream if that ride is not
comfortable for you and that is really
what I went on to do and this brings me
to the next point which is to know your
strengths and you know to be able to
know what your innate challenges and
when I sit when I say its strengths I
really don’t mean
grades you’re not looking at grades when
you’re in the stage in school what
you’re looking at it your strengths your
your talents what is it you really like
and also to be able to recognize
opportunities that come which really
appeal to your innate disposition that
is really very important for me all this
came together in a very strange way in
the form of a man my brother-in-law now
he was a top cop somewhere but he
thought it was a completely the wrong
career option but he was already too far
gone he couldn’t change it and he
thought he had wanted always to be a
diplomat and he wanted to live out this
dream somehow vicariously or otherwise
through me so he told me about the
Indian civil services exam and he told
me when I was filling in the form to
tick that little box with said Indian
Foreign Service and I could tell you my
parents had no clue that that was what I
was planning to do so I want to say that
very often opportunities come in all
kinds of forms it could also be human it
could be parents it could be a wonderful
teacher that you have or it could be
just somebody completely unrelated and
you are then well on your way now I now
come to challenges I could tell you that
Indian civil service exam is a humongous
challenge there were 20 slots for the
Indian Foreign Service and a hundred
thousand aspirants perhaps a little more
but that wasn’t the biggest one I got
over that and then I walk into this
interview room and very nervously and
there in front is this sort of arrayed
these distinguished looking men and that
one token woman I walk into this room
and I had this booming voice of the
Chairman who says so you plan to marry a
cook and you know I stopped for a moment
and I thought how politically incorrect
was that you can’t say those things any
longer and I think good men and women
have really fought to remove
discrimination in the workplace from our
statute books but have you removed them
from minds that really is going to take
much longer and why was I asked whether
I wanted to marry a cook because there I
was
I was going to join the Indian Foreign
Service I was going to travel all over
the world now who in the world would
want to you know put aside their career
and travel with me other than somebody
who was willing to take care of my home
and hearth and that also said that he
expected women to be in the kitchen
cooking so since I couldn’t cook there
was a man who was going to cook I mean
those words it is but I’m happy to say
that you know that that has changed to
some extent and so into this career and
my first posting was in Hong Kong where
I was sent to learn Mandarin now in our
first postings in the Foreign Service
you have to choose a language and choose
a particular geographical area in which
you specialize and it was it was
Mandarin and China for me and I could
tell you it was not easy you know
Mandarin is a very very tough language
but it was the most marvelous
opportunity because can you imagine what
it did for me it opened to me one sixth
of humanity another one six because you
have one six sitting here in India one
six in China’s between them one third of
humanity that I could not communicate
with and I was living in this absolutely
marvelous country I was seeing the
transformation of the country and this
is a country which is transformed in
enormous lis in a period of 30 years
like it never happened in the history of
mankind and China is a very very
important neighbor for India so all this
came together when I was in China and
that was a challenge actually turned to
be an opportunity another in fact I
think experience that I had that talked
about challenges reminded me about
challenges which could lie in really in
the eye of the beholder was at UN
conferences you know there I was an
Indian diplomat wound in these six yards
of unstitch material big dot on my
forehead diamond in my nose and there I
was trying to talk about serious issues
now I had to tell them you know go
beyond my traditional attire listen
listen to what I’m trying to say and you
know that was really a hugely empowering
experience because when they realize
that you talked since you were
articulating your country’s point of
view and you could stand your ground and
that acceptance that you got was very
empowering but I must also tell you that
some of the challenges are what to set
yourself and I had set myself this
challenge because I wanted every
you know I wanted to be a good wife I
wanted to be a good mother I wanted to
be a good homemaker and I wanted to be
accepted as an outstanding professional
and I must tell you I found quite early
in life that there was a secret weed
there was there was a way to do that and
that was just to work doubly as hard as
my male colleagues to be accepted half
as much as them so that is how I started
my career it was a huge challenge at
that point but I think you overcome it
as you go on in life
talking of empowerment you know I moved
on as ambassador and one of my postings
was to a country in the GCC as you know
this one of the Arab countries and I was
the first Indian woman ambassador ever
to be sent to that part of the world my
colleagues in the Foreign Service were
not amuse my male colleagues they said
it was a bad idea
I would not be effective at all because
very male-dominated society and what in
the world was government thinking
sending me there as has happened I must
say that actually gender became an
opportunity and the reason was well they
were going to deal with any Indian
ambassador because India is politically
and economically important to that part
of the world but in addition there was
the fact that you know the Indian
population outnumbered the locals to is
2:1 so they had to deal with Indian
ambassador there were so many issues the
other thing was and this is my secret
weapon that behind the wheel
what is powerful women and this was an
area that men normally contacts s I had
access to that world and they opened
doors to me like nothing ever did so
that is when a gender challenge really
became an opportunity in the part of the
world and nobody really would imagine
that could have happened the other thing
that I think that posting taught me of
empowerment was that empowerment’s a
very very heavy word it comes with a lot
of responsibility because I was just
telling you that large number of Indians
that were there of citizens of India
that were them now
to them had set out to improve their
lives and I’m happy to say that most of
them had been able to achieve their
dreams but but they were a small
minority and these were really pitiful
victims of circumstance and you know
they looked to you as the only hope they
only hope in their life to dignity and
freedom and to get away from the
situation that they had come to and
that’s when I realized that yes I could
help them I could reach out but you know
I needed a lot of empathy and more than
that I needed to realize that this was a
huge responsibility there were lives of
people and they would create
expectations in my hands the Diplomatic
Service brings a lot of experiences but
one thing it makes you that you’ve got
to be really really good at adjusting to
change and I could tell you that so you
know the only constant rarely in our
lives is change so you move around you
approve yourself and you move from
different geographies you know you we
just heard about Amrita going from
Tunisia to Mongolia and so there you go
two completely different cultures and
cuisines and civilizations economic
situations different people and as the
ambassador before you’ve put your foot
there you’re supposed to be an instant
expert but again immerse yourself in
this and look at this as an opportunity
is really what changes everything and
that was really fortunate to be in Japan
as ambassador and this is such a unique
and marvelous country you know it’s an
evolved civilization it’s been a world
economic power it’s a very very special
place and I it was in a way the end of
my career but it was a great dream
fulfilled to be there and to be able to
contribute the relations between India
and Japan at a very very good point of
our bilateral relations so that really
brings me to the conclusion of what I
have to say one is that each one of us
is very unique I hope I’m sure
you hear the squishy all the time and
each one of us has a hand of
circumstance dealt to us also challenges
as we just heard are ubiquitous it’s
like the air we breathe I mean their
challenges everywhere but if you were
listening to me
I don’t know if you caught that there
was a thread in my entire narrative and
that was perseverance perseverance and
really attitude I think these are very
important and I think these are two
things that help you to really change
challenges to opportunities and also I
think at the end of it what do we want
to do we want to leave the world a
better place than we found it and as we
do so we also want to have some fun so I
hope each one of you the young people
here can do that in life change the
world have fun as you do it good luck
and thank you very much
you
really not only a great delight but also
an honor to be here at kis I have a
fairly special bond with this school and
I never thought I would be here before
not in stalking at a TEDx event because
my daughter-in-law was an alumnus and I
had heard from her many stories about
the school with great pride and
nostalgia so it is really a delight and
special for me to be here today so why
am I here today well I’m here because I
represent microscopic statistic we’re
all statistics but this is a microscopic
statistic because about 40 years ago
when it wasn’t considered very
appropriate to do so I chose to be a
diplomat and it was not considered
appropriate to do so not only in India
but anywhere in the world the numbers of
Indian of it of women diplomats were
almost microscopic anywhere I joined the
Diplomatic Service and then as you just
heard I went on to be ambassador in
various capitals of the world
Stockholm Riga Doha Tokyo and Maduro
Maduro chequered Maduro it is a capital
of the Marshall Islands a tiny country
in the Pacific Ocean so how did all this
happen
but before that I must say that this
audience perhaps doesn’t think it a big
deal to choose a career that takes you
across oceans and continents because
you’ve come from different parts of the
world but back then when I chose to be a
diplomat I must tell you that it was a
big deal
and to think of it it still is a big
deal you know to be the designated
spokesperson for your country in another
land and to be entrusted the
responsibility to build bridges of
political empathy cultural understanding
and very importantly nowadays economic
engagement with those countries
or stand before the UN at UN conferences
speak and negotiate on subjects that
affect every one of us on this planet
subjects such as global disarmament
global warming human rights basic human
rights so this is what diplomacy really
means and I was happy that through a
whole process which I will talk about I
reached this place and I will talk to
four main points about how I reached him
first is daring to dream
the second was making choices
the third was knowing my own strengths
and talents such as they were or were
not and having belief in my own
instincts the last which i think is
about what the topic of today’s TED
talks is really looking at challenge not
as a challenge but as an opportunity
that leads to empowerment and success so
to go to the beginning the beginning the
dreams the beginning was fairly ordinary
and uneventful I went to good schools I
had fairly supportive parents and I can
tell you something that when I was young
I think the first challenges I knew were
not what I faced but what I threw at
them because I just wanted to be
different I didn’t want to do things
that other girls did I wanted to have a
great career I wanted to travel
I wanted to transform the world but I
can tell you I had absolutely no clue
how I was going to go about it
I was pretty clueless maybe I had too
many clues because I kept changing my
views and my dreams with each person I
met who made an impact on me or each
circumstance or situation that I or
experience that I I had then this is a
state of being I’m sure a lot of young
people here in this room also go through
that you want to do something at this
point of time you really don’t know what
you want to do but I think it’s a
fantastic state of being because you
know what it means it means that your
mind is open
you’re seeking and you’re receptive so
what were the dreams the dreams in those
days were also kind of limited so
started off at Medicine scientist I
wanted to be a social worker
when I saw poverty which was quite
endemic in my country in those days I
wanted to be an air hostess when I was a
teenager and terribly glamor stricken as
often happens and I also wanted to be a
diplomat remember that love for travel I
had so I also wanted to be a diplomat
said those were the dreams and then we
come to the choices now this is far more
difficult I think today than it was in
my time as I said the choices were also
fairly limited so started off with
wanting to do medicine but the first
time I had to pin down and dissect this
large renata greener in the biology lab
and I fainted I discovered that this was
not for me so I changed and I decided
yes science it was going to be but let
me try chemistry so I did my first
degree in chemistry between this first
degree in chemistry meant long odds at
the lab and again I realized this really
wasn’t what I wanted to do but I must
say that it is really research is a
fantastic career and if you want to
transform the world I can’t think of
another area where you can really impact
the lives of millions of people by your
discoveries and what you can do in
research but you know it was really not
for me so I completely change all over
again and I go into the liberal arts and
then I do English literature now what’s
my point of saying this is that it’s
perfectly fine to change horses
midstream if that ride is not
comfortable for you and that is really
what I went on to do and this brings me
to the next point which is to know your
strengths and you know to be able to
know what your innate challenges and
when I sit when I say its strengths I
really don’t mean
grades you’re not looking at grades when
you’re in the stage in school what
you’re looking at it your strengths your
your talents what is it you really like
and also to be able to recognize
opportunities that come which really
appeal to your innate disposition that
is really very important for me all this
came together in a very strange way in
the form of a man my brother-in-law now
he was a top cop somewhere but he
thought it was a completely the wrong
career option but he was already too far
gone he couldn’t change it and he
thought he had wanted always to be a
diplomat and he wanted to live out this
dream somehow vicariously or otherwise
through me so he told me about the
Indian civil services exam and he told
me when I was filling in the form to
tick that little box with said Indian
Foreign Service and I could tell you my
parents had no clue that that was what I
was planning to do so I want to say that
very often opportunities come in all
kinds of forms it could also be human it
could be parents it could be a wonderful
teacher that you have or it could be
just somebody completely unrelated and
you are then well on your way now I now
come to challenges I could tell you that
Indian civil service exam is a humongous
challenge there were 20 slots for the
Indian Foreign Service and a hundred
thousand aspirants perhaps a little more
but that wasn’t the biggest one I got
over that and then I walk into this
interview room and very nervously and
there in front is this sort of arrayed
these distinguished looking men and that
one token woman I walk into this room
and I had this booming voice of the
Chairman who says so you plan to marry a
cook and you know I stopped for a moment
and I thought how politically incorrect
was that you can’t say those things any
longer and I think good men and women
have really fought to remove
discrimination in the workplace from our
statute books but have you removed them
from minds that really is going to take
much longer and why was I asked whether
I wanted to marry a cook because there I
was
I was going to join the Indian Foreign
Service I was going to travel all over
the world now who in the world would
want to you know put aside their career
and travel with me other than somebody
who was willing to take care of my home
and hearth and that also said that he
expected women to be in the kitchen
cooking so since I couldn’t cook there
was a man who was going to cook I mean
those words it is but I’m happy to say
that you know that that has changed to
some extent and so into this career and
my first posting was in Hong Kong where
I was sent to learn Mandarin now in our
first postings in the Foreign Service
you have to choose a language and choose
a particular geographical area in which
you specialize and it was it was
Mandarin and China for me and I could
tell you it was not easy you know
Mandarin is a very very tough language
but it was the most marvelous
opportunity because can you imagine what
it did for me it opened to me one sixth
of humanity another one six because you
have one six sitting here in India one
six in China’s between them one third of
humanity that I could not communicate
with and I was living in this absolutely
marvelous country I was seeing the
transformation of the country and this
is a country which is transformed in
enormous lis in a period of 30 years
like it never happened in the history of
mankind and China is a very very
important neighbor for India so all this
came together when I was in China and
that was a challenge actually turned to
be an opportunity another in fact I
think experience that I had that talked
about challenges reminded me about
challenges which could lie in really in
the eye of the beholder was at UN
conferences you know there I was an
Indian diplomat wound in these six yards
of unstitch material big dot on my
forehead diamond in my nose and there I
was trying to talk about serious issues
now I had to tell them you know go
beyond my traditional attire listen
listen to what I’m trying to say and you
know that was really a hugely empowering
experience because when they realize
that you talked since you were
articulating your country’s point of
view and you could stand your ground and
that acceptance that you got was very
empowering but I must also tell you that
some of the challenges are what to set
yourself and I had set myself this
challenge because I wanted every
you know I wanted to be a good wife I
wanted to be a good mother I wanted to
be a good homemaker and I wanted to be
accepted as an outstanding professional
and I must tell you I found quite early
in life that there was a secret weed
there was there was a way to do that and
that was just to work doubly as hard as
my male colleagues to be accepted half
as much as them so that is how I started
my career it was a huge challenge at
that point but I think you overcome it
as you go on in life
talking of empowerment you know I moved
on as ambassador and one of my postings
was to a country in the GCC as you know
this one of the Arab countries and I was
the first Indian woman ambassador ever
to be sent to that part of the world my
colleagues in the Foreign Service were
not amuse my male colleagues they said
it was a bad idea
I would not be effective at all because
very male-dominated society and what in
the world was government thinking
sending me there as has happened I must
say that actually gender became an
opportunity and the reason was well they
were going to deal with any Indian
ambassador because India is politically
and economically important to that part
of the world but in addition there was
the fact that you know the Indian
population outnumbered the locals to is
2:1 so they had to deal with Indian
ambassador there were so many issues the
other thing was and this is my secret
weapon that behind the wheel
what is powerful women and this was an
area that men normally contacts s I had
access to that world and they opened
doors to me like nothing ever did so
that is when a gender challenge really
became an opportunity in the part of the
world and nobody really would imagine
that could have happened the other thing
that I think that posting taught me of
empowerment was that empowerment’s a
very very heavy word it comes with a lot
of responsibility because I was just
telling you that large number of Indians
that were there of citizens of India
that were them now
to them had set out to improve their
lives and I’m happy to say that most of
them had been able to achieve their
dreams but but they were a small
minority and these were really pitiful
victims of circumstance and you know
they looked to you as the only hope they
only hope in their life to dignity and
freedom and to get away from the
situation that they had come to and
that’s when I realized that yes I could
help them I could reach out but you know
I needed a lot of empathy and more than
that I needed to realize that this was a
huge responsibility there were lives of
people and they would create
expectations in my hands the Diplomatic
Service brings a lot of experiences but
one thing it makes you that you’ve got
to be really really good at adjusting to
change and I could tell you that so you
know the only constant rarely in our
lives is change so you move around you
approve yourself and you move from
different geographies you know you we
just heard about Amrita going from
Tunisia to Mongolia and so there you go
two completely different cultures and
cuisines and civilizations economic
situations different people and as the
ambassador before you’ve put your foot
there you’re supposed to be an instant
expert but again immerse yourself in
this and look at this as an opportunity
is really what changes everything and
that was really fortunate to be in Japan
as ambassador and this is such a unique
and marvelous country you know it’s an
evolved civilization it’s been a world
economic power it’s a very very special
place and I it was in a way the end of
my career but it was a great dream
fulfilled to be there and to be able to
contribute the relations between India
and Japan at a very very good point of
our bilateral relations so that really
brings me to the conclusion of what I
have to say one is that each one of us
is very unique I hope I’m sure
you hear the squishy all the time and
each one of us has a hand of
circumstance dealt to us also challenges
as we just heard are ubiquitous it’s
like the air we breathe I mean their
challenges everywhere but if you were
listening to me
I don’t know if you caught that there
was a thread in my entire narrative and
that was perseverance perseverance and
really attitude I think these are very
important and I think these are two
things that help you to really change
challenges to opportunities and also I
think at the end of it what do we want
to do we want to leave the world a
better place than we found it and as we
do so we also want to have some fun so I
hope each one of you the young people
here can do that in life change the
world have fun as you do it good luck
and thank you very much
you
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