[Music]
just imagine my plight the first time I
tried crossing a busy Indian road with
my three young children in tow I was in
the old city of Hyderabad just one week
after we moved to India and it was my
first time ever in the city I was still
trying to get used to the sights and the
smells and the sounds of India and there
I was stuck on the side of the road and
I could not get to the other side
they were cars and carts neither were
tuk tuks they were street sellers they
were Biggers
they were animals they were two wheelers
three wheelers four wheelers and even
water buffalo all going in both
directions and amazingly they were also
people crossing this road without
bothering to look both ways everyone was
able to dive into the chaos except us we
were stuck on the side of the road I
eventually had to ask a auto driver to
pretty please
just drop us on the other side of the
road I’m happy to say I no longer have
to stand on the side of the road and
even my youngest daughter just puts out
her hand confidently and stops the
traffic
it has been seven years since that day
and I have been forever changed India
can overwhelm you with her love but she
can also destroy you with her violence
especially if you are women or a goal
now you might wonder how does a South
African who is not a cricketer ends up
in Hyderabad working on Jaina boys
violence well for the long story you’ll
have to come and have try with me at my
house for the short story they say a
dream is something you want to do but a
calling is something you have to do and
out of that calling my choices
foundation was founded six years ago my
background is an investment banking and
finance so when we moved to India I was
hoping to use this finance background to
help women and empower them to better
understand the finance so in turn they
can better support their families
sounded so simple at the time but that
is not how things panned out for my
first six months in Hyderabad I have
visited as many NGOs women’s groups
self-help groups busty meetings
community meetings as I could and time
and time again after the first chai the
women would slowly open up and start
sharing the horror and brutality of
their daily lives
live sweet o mystic violence and abuse
was the norm and I soon learned that
these women and these stories were not
the exception but let’s put the
statistics into reality could each one
of you who received an orange flag
please wave it in the air now please
have a look around you if India’s
population of one and three billion was
boiled down to the of this group then
each one of you holding a flag
represents women facing abuse at home
this is what it looks like over 40% of
Indian women face abuse in their home
and it’s difficult to believe but
research shows that over half of Indian
men women boys and girls believe that a
man heating his wife is a justifiable
expression of his masculinity and
globally fairness against women and
girls are the most destructive pandemic
on earth one out of three women have
survived physical or sexual abuse it
touches all of us
it touches generations of families
communities villages and cities and in
economic terms violence against women
and girls exacts a staggering price tag
of seven trillion dollars a year in the
time I’ve been on the stage one Indian
goal around the age of 12 has been sold
into sex slavery by the time I’ve
finished ass talk another five will have
been taken every three minutes
that’s how often a goal around the age
of 12 hits trafficked brutally beaten
and raped by more than 30 min a day and
only want the thing of them will ever
get rescued
that’s two issues domestic violence and
the trafficking of young girls are very
uncomfortable to talk about but if we
don’t talk about it and if we don’t
confront the issue how can we start to
do something about reality it’s a common
question we get asked why is he so much
violence and discrimination against
women and girls one of the root causes
is patriarchy patriarchy is deeply
entrenched in almost every society on
earth it touches everything we see Ranas
and what we read in our papers so we
wake up in the morning to a piper that
says go right after light night art and
then we have some politicians responded
by saying boys will be boys and then we
have the parents of the daughters saying
to them
don’t stay out after dark don’t we
address and the next morning we hear the
whispers of the neighbors
I hear she was wearing a skirt in a
genie
equal world this headline would have
read innocent girl raped while returning
home from work but there’s good news and
it might not be what you think for way
too long
men have been seen as creating the
problem now after all the mine
perpetrators of domestic violence and
trafficking of young girls and therefore
we’ve excluded them from being part of
the solution but this just perpetuates
the problem because a boy growing up in
abusive home is five times more likely
to be abusive and a father who let his
daughter go with a trafficker so because
he doesn’t love her no he believes the
false promises of the traffickers and
not knowing better he believes it’s the
right choice for her and for his family
the father does not know that his
daughter will be raped and beaten until
she breaks down he doesn’t realize
he doesn’t realize that from the day she
gets broken in which basically means
he’ll get gang-raped – she surrenders
you most like to not survive another
seven years so how do we change this is
change even possible how do we change
behavior that’s been installed in our
culture for generations how do we help
these fathers to become the good
father’s I want to be so our team wanted
to find the answers to these questions
we learned from each other we learned
from other NGOs we learned from abused
women and girls but most importantly we
learned from boys men and fathers we
commissioned research to better
understand male behavior and better
understand the behavior of fathers who
let their daughters go our research
paper last year won the award for the
best market research globally and we
parted with VR for good to create the
world’s first virtual reality
documentary on sex trafficking and you
know what the key insight was from this
research nine out of ten father’s want
to be good fathers they want to do the
right thing and I want to look after
their daughters so these insights drove
the design of all our programs if we
want to see lasting change we have to
fundamentally make all men and fathers
part of the solution but first let’s
just talk about access to help did you
know that two out of three women facing
a beautiful neighbor share a story I
feel it’s a burden to be like too afraid
to approach the police or what I fear
the public humiliation and families who
are victimized by trafficking I don’t
even know it exists and when a daughter
goes missing they don’t no way to find
her or how to find help
so awkward choices Foundation we help
them by showing up showing up in a city
they village the community and we
providing with choices and most
importantly we teach them how to stop
the abuse
and hard to prevent the trafficking so I
want you to meet deep and ragga soon
after they got married things went
Daniel
it started with jealousy but pretty soon
escalated to Raghav bringing over other
men to abuse his wife with him deeper
felt there was no one to talk to and no
one to trust
she faced 14 years of daily abuse and
beatings and her life only changed the
day she made one of our peacemakers in
her community the peacemaker is just a
local women who we trying to be a change
agent in the community we trained him
how to spot the abuse and how to bring
the families to the center she brought
de-puff and Raghav to our center and it
was they that Raghav realized he doesn’t
even really know why is abusing deeper
he can just remember this is the way his
father treated his mother and in the
absence of a good role model he felt
that’s the example he has to follow in
the absence of a good role model
deepa was abused by Raghav so what we do
is we set for them we try name.we
counseling but most importantly we teach
them and show them what the impact is of
this abuse on their family and we show
you
raghav hard to stop the abuse Raghav has
committed to stop the abuse and set an
example to his children because we
believe the biggest gift a father can
give his children is to love and respect
a mother but dig up deep and raghav
stories are not the exception we have
worked with over 3,500 families just
like they were
our counselors I’ve invested 150
thousand hours of counseling into these
families life before put twenty four
thousand school girls to keep keep
himself safe and we have a 78% success
rate what does it mean in 78% of the
cases and families we are able to stop
the abuse and bring about change and
peace into these families lives
so the way we as an organization show up
in these abusive homes or through our
peacemakers but how do we show up in the
remote village from where a young girl
is trafficked we do not have the time or
the resources to conduct our site
village program in each of these
villages yet every minute counts and
every goal counts at my voices
foundation we are firm believers in
technology so we partnered with Quantium
a big data analytics company to help us
to design a village mapping algorithm to
identify the act villages and once we
know which villages are at risk we can
conduct our psychology programs at one
of our recent programs in which finger
our team leader was approached to pass
Yale goal and with tears in our eyes she
cried out why did you not come to my
village earlier why did you not come and
show me what is happening if you had
come to my village this would not have
happened to me if you had come to my
village my parents would not have let me
go she was one of the 1% that dead get
rescued
but in the process had a child brutally
stolen from her and this could have been
prevented
so in our silage program this is what we
do we meet for the fathers we read me
the mothers we really we meet with the
boys and the girls the teachers the
principal’s and the sarpanch we try we
have try we meet we have try and we try
and we show them through educational
movies and we equip them through our
comic book drama skits on how to keep
the village safe and hard to keep the
goal safe we spend a lot of time with
the mothers to make them informed
mother’s knowledge is the most powerful
weapon we can give these mothers to
protect their goals but most importantly
we spend a lot of time with the fathers
to help them to become good fathers and
the goals to become Guardian goals for
each other in a language and a message
that the father understands we talk to
Maurice
drop and how he will never harvested
early how he will protect it and give it
enough water and in the same way he
needs to protect his goal down later
into into child marriage hard to spot
the traffickers hard to spot the method
of the traffickers and hard to keep his
goal safe I want you to meet silo he’s a
father of five three daughters and two
boys he was approached by a neighbor who
wanted him to let his daughter Rukhsana
go to daily to marry by businessman
sidle thought it’s a good opportunity I
thought she would be safe I thought she
would have at least two meals a day I
thought this was a good opportunity the
neighbor who approached Idol turned out
to be a trafficker and unfortunately
Rukhsana no story is not an isolated
incident
they are currently five million girls
enslaved in India and 99% of them will
never get rescued so I can’t tell you
how that work Shauna did not end up as a
child’s life her father seidel attainted
one of our silage programs and they he
was stored on how to keep his daughter
safe and given the rise and the
opportunity he wanted to protect his
family he wanted to be a good father
Brook Shauna’s father is one of over
50,000 fathers we’ve already trained in
our good father Army and we’ve reached
over seven hundred and fifteen thousand
we’ve reached over seven hundred and
fifteen thousand individuals through our
cyber leach program equipping all of
them to keep the village and keep the
daughter safe
so showing up this because change is
possible in India our engineering
colleges tried one and a half million
engineers every year if we can do that
surely we can train an army of good
fathers we will not allow we cannot
allow that on our watch a
twelve-year-old girl goes missing every
three minutes brutally beaten and raped
30 times a day I have to admit the work
we do is not easy we deal with immense
pain and suffering and in the process
our hearts are repeatedly broken and is
a there’s a grief that sits deep on your
soul but doing what we do every day
gives us courage and courage does not
just transform us it also transformed
those around us and you know it’s a good
thing about courage it’s contagious so
courage can transform families and
villages and communities and cities
my team and I have been given the
privilege to step into thousands of
families lives and help them slowly
repeat the broken pieces and help them
replace peace violence with peace we’ve
been given a privilege to guide
thousands of goals of what it means to
be a Guardian goal not just for yourself
but also the girl next to you and in the
process help prevent them from having a
brutal life with a will most likely not
survive the 19th birthday we’ve been
given a privilege to guide thousands of
fathers on what it means to be a good
father a father that protects his
daughter and keep his village safe Ted
is about ideas worth spreading bringing
an end to Jaina boys violence is one of
the most important ideas in the world
worth spreading this TEDx is about do so
what are we doing about this I know what
I’m doing about this I know what our
foundation is doing about this but what
are you doing about this in this
audience today we have some of the
world’s most progressive minds do you
see this as your solution or your
problem to solve you should especially
if you are a male we need you to step up
and stop Jaina boys violence you hold
the solution in your hands just imagine
an army of good fathers an army of
fathers who will value respect and
protect one of our most precious assets
our goals if those of us who can act
remain inactive if those of us who
should know better
remaining different and of the voice of
justice is kept silent when it should be
speaking up then evil will triumph as a
human race we might falter and we my
foul and we sometimes take too long to
do it as the obvious but ultimately
deep down we do know what is right and
what is wrong let’s start doing what is
right thank you
[Applause]
just imagine my plight the first time I
tried crossing a busy Indian road with
my three young children in tow I was in
the old city of Hyderabad just one week
after we moved to India and it was my
first time ever in the city I was still
trying to get used to the sights and the
smells and the sounds of India and there
I was stuck on the side of the road and
I could not get to the other side
they were cars and carts neither were
tuk tuks they were street sellers they
were Biggers
they were animals they were two wheelers
three wheelers four wheelers and even
water buffalo all going in both
directions and amazingly they were also
people crossing this road without
bothering to look both ways everyone was
able to dive into the chaos except us we
were stuck on the side of the road I
eventually had to ask a auto driver to
pretty please
just drop us on the other side of the
road I’m happy to say I no longer have
to stand on the side of the road and
even my youngest daughter just puts out
her hand confidently and stops the
traffic
it has been seven years since that day
and I have been forever changed India
can overwhelm you with her love but she
can also destroy you with her violence
especially if you are women or a goal
now you might wonder how does a South
African who is not a cricketer ends up
in Hyderabad working on Jaina boys
violence well for the long story you’ll
have to come and have try with me at my
house for the short story they say a
dream is something you want to do but a
calling is something you have to do and
out of that calling my choices
foundation was founded six years ago my
background is an investment banking and
finance so when we moved to India I was
hoping to use this finance background to
help women and empower them to better
understand the finance so in turn they
can better support their families
sounded so simple at the time but that
is not how things panned out for my
first six months in Hyderabad I have
visited as many NGOs women’s groups
self-help groups busty meetings
community meetings as I could and time
and time again after the first chai the
women would slowly open up and start
sharing the horror and brutality of
their daily lives
live sweet o mystic violence and abuse
was the norm and I soon learned that
these women and these stories were not
the exception but let’s put the
statistics into reality could each one
of you who received an orange flag
please wave it in the air now please
have a look around you if India’s
population of one and three billion was
boiled down to the of this group then
each one of you holding a flag
represents women facing abuse at home
this is what it looks like over 40% of
Indian women face abuse in their home
and it’s difficult to believe but
research shows that over half of Indian
men women boys and girls believe that a
man heating his wife is a justifiable
expression of his masculinity and
globally fairness against women and
girls are the most destructive pandemic
on earth one out of three women have
survived physical or sexual abuse it
touches all of us
it touches generations of families
communities villages and cities and in
economic terms violence against women
and girls exacts a staggering price tag
of seven trillion dollars a year in the
time I’ve been on the stage one Indian
goal around the age of 12 has been sold
into sex slavery by the time I’ve
finished ass talk another five will have
been taken every three minutes
that’s how often a goal around the age
of 12 hits trafficked brutally beaten
and raped by more than 30 min a day and
only want the thing of them will ever
get rescued
that’s two issues domestic violence and
the trafficking of young girls are very
uncomfortable to talk about but if we
don’t talk about it and if we don’t
confront the issue how can we start to
do something about reality it’s a common
question we get asked why is he so much
violence and discrimination against
women and girls one of the root causes
is patriarchy patriarchy is deeply
entrenched in almost every society on
earth it touches everything we see Ranas
and what we read in our papers so we
wake up in the morning to a piper that
says go right after light night art and
then we have some politicians responded
by saying boys will be boys and then we
have the parents of the daughters saying
to them
don’t stay out after dark don’t we
address and the next morning we hear the
whispers of the neighbors
I hear she was wearing a skirt in a
genie
equal world this headline would have
read innocent girl raped while returning
home from work but there’s good news and
it might not be what you think for way
too long
men have been seen as creating the
problem now after all the mine
perpetrators of domestic violence and
trafficking of young girls and therefore
we’ve excluded them from being part of
the solution but this just perpetuates
the problem because a boy growing up in
abusive home is five times more likely
to be abusive and a father who let his
daughter go with a trafficker so because
he doesn’t love her no he believes the
false promises of the traffickers and
not knowing better he believes it’s the
right choice for her and for his family
the father does not know that his
daughter will be raped and beaten until
she breaks down he doesn’t realize
he doesn’t realize that from the day she
gets broken in which basically means
he’ll get gang-raped – she surrenders
you most like to not survive another
seven years so how do we change this is
change even possible how do we change
behavior that’s been installed in our
culture for generations how do we help
these fathers to become the good
father’s I want to be so our team wanted
to find the answers to these questions
we learned from each other we learned
from other NGOs we learned from abused
women and girls but most importantly we
learned from boys men and fathers we
commissioned research to better
understand male behavior and better
understand the behavior of fathers who
let their daughters go our research
paper last year won the award for the
best market research globally and we
parted with VR for good to create the
world’s first virtual reality
documentary on sex trafficking and you
know what the key insight was from this
research nine out of ten father’s want
to be good fathers they want to do the
right thing and I want to look after
their daughters so these insights drove
the design of all our programs if we
want to see lasting change we have to
fundamentally make all men and fathers
part of the solution but first let’s
just talk about access to help did you
know that two out of three women facing
a beautiful neighbor share a story I
feel it’s a burden to be like too afraid
to approach the police or what I fear
the public humiliation and families who
are victimized by trafficking I don’t
even know it exists and when a daughter
goes missing they don’t no way to find
her or how to find help
so awkward choices Foundation we help
them by showing up showing up in a city
they village the community and we
providing with choices and most
importantly we teach them how to stop
the abuse
and hard to prevent the trafficking so I
want you to meet deep and ragga soon
after they got married things went
Daniel
it started with jealousy but pretty soon
escalated to Raghav bringing over other
men to abuse his wife with him deeper
felt there was no one to talk to and no
one to trust
she faced 14 years of daily abuse and
beatings and her life only changed the
day she made one of our peacemakers in
her community the peacemaker is just a
local women who we trying to be a change
agent in the community we trained him
how to spot the abuse and how to bring
the families to the center she brought
de-puff and Raghav to our center and it
was they that Raghav realized he doesn’t
even really know why is abusing deeper
he can just remember this is the way his
father treated his mother and in the
absence of a good role model he felt
that’s the example he has to follow in
the absence of a good role model
deepa was abused by Raghav so what we do
is we set for them we try name.we
counseling but most importantly we teach
them and show them what the impact is of
this abuse on their family and we show
you
raghav hard to stop the abuse Raghav has
committed to stop the abuse and set an
example to his children because we
believe the biggest gift a father can
give his children is to love and respect
a mother but dig up deep and raghav
stories are not the exception we have
worked with over 3,500 families just
like they were
our counselors I’ve invested 150
thousand hours of counseling into these
families life before put twenty four
thousand school girls to keep keep
himself safe and we have a 78% success
rate what does it mean in 78% of the
cases and families we are able to stop
the abuse and bring about change and
peace into these families lives
so the way we as an organization show up
in these abusive homes or through our
peacemakers but how do we show up in the
remote village from where a young girl
is trafficked we do not have the time or
the resources to conduct our site
village program in each of these
villages yet every minute counts and
every goal counts at my voices
foundation we are firm believers in
technology so we partnered with Quantium
a big data analytics company to help us
to design a village mapping algorithm to
identify the act villages and once we
know which villages are at risk we can
conduct our psychology programs at one
of our recent programs in which finger
our team leader was approached to pass
Yale goal and with tears in our eyes she
cried out why did you not come to my
village earlier why did you not come and
show me what is happening if you had
come to my village this would not have
happened to me if you had come to my
village my parents would not have let me
go she was one of the 1% that dead get
rescued
but in the process had a child brutally
stolen from her and this could have been
prevented
so in our silage program this is what we
do we meet for the fathers we read me
the mothers we really we meet with the
boys and the girls the teachers the
principal’s and the sarpanch we try we
have try we meet we have try and we try
and we show them through educational
movies and we equip them through our
comic book drama skits on how to keep
the village safe and hard to keep the
goal safe we spend a lot of time with
the mothers to make them informed
mother’s knowledge is the most powerful
weapon we can give these mothers to
protect their goals but most importantly
we spend a lot of time with the fathers
to help them to become good fathers and
the goals to become Guardian goals for
each other in a language and a message
that the father understands we talk to
Maurice
drop and how he will never harvested
early how he will protect it and give it
enough water and in the same way he
needs to protect his goal down later
into into child marriage hard to spot
the traffickers hard to spot the method
of the traffickers and hard to keep his
goal safe I want you to meet silo he’s a
father of five three daughters and two
boys he was approached by a neighbor who
wanted him to let his daughter Rukhsana
go to daily to marry by businessman
sidle thought it’s a good opportunity I
thought she would be safe I thought she
would have at least two meals a day I
thought this was a good opportunity the
neighbor who approached Idol turned out
to be a trafficker and unfortunately
Rukhsana no story is not an isolated
incident
they are currently five million girls
enslaved in India and 99% of them will
never get rescued so I can’t tell you
how that work Shauna did not end up as a
child’s life her father seidel attainted
one of our silage programs and they he
was stored on how to keep his daughter
safe and given the rise and the
opportunity he wanted to protect his
family he wanted to be a good father
Brook Shauna’s father is one of over
50,000 fathers we’ve already trained in
our good father Army and we’ve reached
over seven hundred and fifteen thousand
we’ve reached over seven hundred and
fifteen thousand individuals through our
cyber leach program equipping all of
them to keep the village and keep the
daughter safe
so showing up this because change is
possible in India our engineering
colleges tried one and a half million
engineers every year if we can do that
surely we can train an army of good
fathers we will not allow we cannot
allow that on our watch a
twelve-year-old girl goes missing every
three minutes brutally beaten and raped
30 times a day I have to admit the work
we do is not easy we deal with immense
pain and suffering and in the process
our hearts are repeatedly broken and is
a there’s a grief that sits deep on your
soul but doing what we do every day
gives us courage and courage does not
just transform us it also transformed
those around us and you know it’s a good
thing about courage it’s contagious so
courage can transform families and
villages and communities and cities
my team and I have been given the
privilege to step into thousands of
families lives and help them slowly
repeat the broken pieces and help them
replace peace violence with peace we’ve
been given a privilege to guide
thousands of goals of what it means to
be a Guardian goal not just for yourself
but also the girl next to you and in the
process help prevent them from having a
brutal life with a will most likely not
survive the 19th birthday we’ve been
given a privilege to guide thousands of
fathers on what it means to be a good
father a father that protects his
daughter and keep his village safe Ted
is about ideas worth spreading bringing
an end to Jaina boys violence is one of
the most important ideas in the world
worth spreading this TEDx is about do so
what are we doing about this I know what
I’m doing about this I know what our
foundation is doing about this but what
are you doing about this in this
audience today we have some of the
world’s most progressive minds do you
see this as your solution or your
problem to solve you should especially
if you are a male we need you to step up
and stop Jaina boys violence you hold
the solution in your hands just imagine
an army of good fathers an army of
fathers who will value respect and
protect one of our most precious assets
our goals if those of us who can act
remain inactive if those of us who
should know better
remaining different and of the voice of
justice is kept silent when it should be
speaking up then evil will triumph as a
human race we might falter and we my
foul and we sometimes take too long to
do it as the obvious but ultimately
deep down we do know what is right and
what is wrong let’s start doing what is
right thank you
[Applause]
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