yes hello everyone my name is nao
and indeed it is a very special honor to
be back in the sacred halls of the WSU
because I did spend many years here and
I graduated in 2006 and went to London
to be an investment banker and today I’m
a professional DJ what the hell happened
so just to give you an example of the
difference so I would like to take you
through my last ten years of the journey
and more importantly I want to talk
about the factors actually that led to
such a crucial change not only career
but obviously in lifestyle because many
people when they hear about the top line
of the story from banker to DJ they they
immediately say oh my god that’s so
courageous of you you know you you left
the corporate world and do your own
thing and follow your dreams but to be
honest that’s the only part of the story
and actually it’s not the story at all
because I don’t think it was courage at
all because I want to show that it was a
lot more subtle factors at work and it
was more like let’s call it a correction
on my path towards self-realization but
I’m going to talk more about that so
let’s let’s begin so I want to basically
walk you through my journey so I brought
a few things so I want to put this as my
that’s my DJ cornerstone and this is my
investment-banking
come honest and with a few guys and
actually I want to sail you through my
journey and not walk through my journey
because as you might have seen I liked
the idea the whole framework of my talk
is the inner compass so I believe that
somehow we have
something within us that will lead us
towards fulfilling our potential but
what do I mean my potential well it’s a
bit of an abstract concept but I believe
it’s a mixture of our capabilities and
skills our interests and our needs and
there’s a line in psychology that
suggests that an individual will always
follow a path towards fulfilling their
potential if the circumstances are
supportive but however if there’s any
factors hindering them from doing so it
can lead to inner conflict so I want to
I want to take this as an idea for my
story okay right let’s start so here I
am I want to start here Here I am at the
end of school so I was 18 years old and
I knew I wanted to study business
because I was quite analytically minded
I liked structure deficiency and I
wanted to apply that in real-life
situations so also I had always been
quite good at school and in my youth I
played three different types of sports
or single sports no team sports and in
all of them I ran in competitions so
very early on I had internalized a
liking for competitiveness for
performance and a belief that I could
gain validation through achievement so
no wonder then when I heard about this
university I was like alright then so I
applied only to this University and then
you know did that mission test got
accepted and started studying so there I
was on the way and naturally this kind
of highly achievement and performance
driven environment kept on feeding into
into that focus on achievement in
hindsight I realized that I’ve been
motivated by you know my own projected
image of a competent and successful
businesswoman so that was what I was
following so I specialized in finance
and then a year before graduation I went
to London to do an internship with
Merrill Lynch and I pretty much enjoyed
it well in hindsight I’m not quite sure
whether it was the work the job or
London that I enjoyed more but anyway
when they make me a job offer for the
year after
I happily accepted so I went back to uni
for my last year and I danced my way
through school because I was like yeah I
landed a great job and I was proud and
happy and elated and you know did the
bare minimum to get my degree and I’m
sure professor Rudolph who actually
wrote my lab final thesis with I think
he can attest that how terrible my final
thesis was but anyway so there I was I
handed in my thesis the day after I flew
to New York for investment banking
training and you know I had the time of
my life and then I moved to London to
start working so so far so good I had
achieved the first cornerstone of being
that competent and successful
businesswoman
I had achieved validation through
achievement I was 22 years old I worked
for one of the most well known
investment banks at the time at least
and I earned my yearly starting salary
was close to a hundred thousand euros so
I was proud my parents were proud so
what the hell happened then so let me
give you more context about London so I
moved to London and I moved into a
six-bedroom place with you know six
other young people who were all not
bankers so they were all just normally
young people doing some jobs and you
know doing enjoying life in the meantime
and also a tiny it seems like a tiny
factor but actually I think it was
pretty big was that I had negotiated one
month off with my team so I didn’t start
working straight away but I had one
month off in London fully paid which was
great and so basically I immersed myself
into into London and so I went out a lot
I watched lots of live bands and I was
really soaking up that live that
exciting life and it felt like I was
kind of you know catching up on
everything that I that I haven’t had in
my performance focus student years so
then when I then started working after a
month it was like I had kind of two
personas it felt like you know during
the day I was the investment banker and
doing all other times I was that
you know experience seeking fun-loving
rock chick and but I was determined to
be able to combine those two it actually
gave me a lot of strength to know I had
two personas and I was like yeah I’m
gonna do this well if you go you know as
you can imagine that didn’t quite work
out so you know working 12 hours a day
alone actually takes a lot out of you so
you know I got more and more physically
exhausted at first so lack of sleep
exhaustion and you know and I felt more
and more suffocated and during the day
so at work I was getting more and more
lethargic and unmotivated and I couldn’t
wait the day was over so I could do all
these other things that you know I
wanted to be doing and to live that life
that I had just about discovered for
myself so that inner conflict between my
two personas grow grew stronger and
stronger and I felt so suffocated and
also my my private persona started
infiltrating my professional one so I
think I stretched the dress code at the
bank as far as I could and in my breaks
I was smoking roll up cigarettes so I
was kind of becoming this a rebel and
after a while I realized it just it got
so bad so did this inner conflict I knew
I was wrong I had to get out and I knew
it wasn’t just a decision about the
career I knew it was a decision about
how I wanted to live my life so after
six months of banking here I quit so let
me symbolize that by taking my jacket
off
so this is my investment-banking jacket
right so what happened then I had no
idea what to do next I mean I had no
goal I had no further go I had all these
years I had set my sales straight to
here and suddenly I was like I don’t
know I had no idea but this is what I
think this is pretty crucial because
metaphorically I took my sales down and
just started drifting on the waves of
life
and I think this is unconsciously of
course this is when my inner compass
actually started being able to work and
to guide me so this is so the black
compass was meant to be the one that was
really you know the conscious decision
to be in amazement banker and now the
red compass is kind of guiding me into
another direction so what happened well
there’s 10 years between here and there
so I got to kind of summarize the
important part basically professionally
you could say it was a disaster so I was
working in lots of freelance part-time
jobs I was working in PR advertising
marketing admin I was working in cafes
and at one point I worked at Topshop of
clothing retail store on Oxford Circus
for six pounds an hour but it didn’t
matter because on the other hand on the
private side of things other things
happen so to start with one turning
point was pretty much still when I was a
banker but I was you know I was at a
live concert and as I you know watch
quite a lot of good live gigs and then
one night I realized that I was always
watching the drummer and total
fascination and then I was like I had a
lightbulb moment I was like I’m gonna
learn the drums and so I did I bought
myself a drum kit and started taught
myself drumming and it was so it was so
easy it was so like natural I learned so
quickly my brain was soaking it up it
was literally like as if something came
out that was already there it was really
crazy
so I started drumming and at the exact
same time I met again fait compass
whatever I met a guy a lovely guy at a
pub and he played in a band and he was
like well our drama is about to quit do
you not want to maybe step in and I was
like I was I was terrified
but I was like hell yeah my got to step
in so after about three months of
drumming I think I played my first gig
in a band so great and I mean that band
didn’t ask very long but this lovely guy
and me we founded our own band and that
was to become our baby for quite a few
years
so that band was called road caption
which is German for Little Red Riding
Hood and well in London no one could
pronounce or even write our name on any
bloody flyer but anyway so we did life
electronic music so during that time you
know we we were so passionate about it
and I also discovered London clubs and
electronic music and we spent every
single minute of our time to create new
music to learn the technology the
software the equipment and everything
went to lots of gigs and it was just
really really passionate inspiring time
and so you know we played in that band
for many years and it became a hobby I
mean at first you play for free for like
two years and then you get maybe 10
pounds and then and then you build up
from there
and then at some point we reached a
point that was fairly professional and
well I gave it my all I said this was
this was my focus this is why I didn’t
matter you know play we were working in
Topshop you know because I had add the
music but at some point somehow we
didn’t quite make it enough to live of
it so at some point the band ran out of
steam and I ran out of money because I
still had set all these times you know
only five six years I still had savings
from from these six months of investment
making so I mean you know obviously I
was very very diligently I was really
afraid of kind of tucking into it but it
was always a little reserved in the back
and it was kind of eaten away very very
slowly like you know maybe a few hundred
pounds each month but at some point
after five years it was gone so I was
like okay I’m gonna do now hey I need
money okay so I tried myself at another
couple of full-time jobs didn’t last
very long and musically I was like okay
ban does know more what am I gonna do
I’m by myself
okay well DJ great I’m gonna be a DJ and
this is when a neo was born at the same
time I started spending more and more
time in Berlin so I did for two three
years I did the Berlin London maybe like
half half and Berlin was a whole new
playground and I I went out
I met lots of people and lots of
contacts and also got my first DJ gigs
and that’s great but that was really
also I want to say that was a difficult
time because it wasn’t all roses because
at that time as I said I had no savings
left and I really really struggled
financially I had to do lots and lots of
jobs on the side I struggled financially
and sometimes didn’t know how to pay my
rent I got into debt and it was really
it was really really challenging however
somehow I you know I stayed with it I
went through and got more and more gigs
and at some point about two years ago
there came a turning point where I
suddenly met started making enough money
of teaching so that I could just not
have to do any other job and stay here
so I arrived somewhere so and I couldn’t
believe it at first because all these
years you know they were music was my
focus but I had learned that it was
always a struggle you know it was always
just on the side I had to do other
things and suddenly I couldn’t believe
it that I get actually paid for
something that doesn’t feel like work it
actually feels like a privilege and
someone actually choose to pay you for
it
I just care it was imagined go to your
favorite club and all your friends are
there and you have fun at your party and
you play your own music and you get paid
for it I mean that’s ours impossible and
the most wonderful thing about it is
that I have now reached a point of total
congruence you know I was saying about
this conflict which I had between the
two personas but now basically I you
know everything I do maybe
professionally as a DJ or privately you
know going out meeting people actually
it there’s no difference anymore between
professionally and privately so whatever
I do going out meeting people you know
partying DJing doing modeling jobs
writing an article for a newspaper
whatever whatever I do it all feeds back
into each other and it’s one in the same
person it’s all as all a neo and that is
hugely hugely liberating
whoo so I mean it would be consistent to
take my trousers off now but I’m not
going to do that so but I’m gonna put
these on ah that feels good so now in my
element again okay so the big question
is why didn’t I so remember that was the
end of school why didn’t I go straight
to here why did I have to do all this
detour that is a very good question
because that is you know I I really had
to reflect on that myself because as I
said this these ten years were pretty
much a very unconscious way I didn’t
plan this so basically my explanation is
this
I now know now that I’m in tune with my
internal compass I know that I have
certain needs and certain personality
traits which kind of the same thing so I
have certain needs that are very very
crucial to my well-being and I know now
that when I look back on my ten years I
realize now that they have been acting
as unconscious driving forces let’s say
like the motor to my boat without sail
so basically these were the things that
were driving me all along and I can
identify them now and I want to tell you
what it is so a autonomy and
self-determination I personally as a
person I need total freedom I need a
high degree of freedom I need to be
independent and I need to be in control
of my life and I know that now because I
tried myself at four full time jobs that
won’t be in the first one and I never
lasted more than seven months in any of
them because for some reason whatever it
is but being in a full-time role just
suffocates me so much that every time my
boat has been pulling me away from it
again number two variety and adventure
so today I travel a lot and no week is
the same so I want to give you an
example week of my working week so for
example on the Thursday night I might DJ
at a corporate event so let’s say the
annual conference of American
pharmaceutical company at the Hilton
Hotel in Berlin
and then on a Friday I might play at my
residency at Kit Kat club and which is a
well-known naughty Club and I’m a I
might play at a so I played at a gay
fetish night
so I’m playing mm masuleh hot gay guys
in leather gear and then and then the
next on a Saturday I might fly to
Copenhagen and DJ at a 1920s Gatsby
style swing Bor so what a wonderful
variety and I think you can imagine that
this bad boy didn’t quite take that box
and number three individuality and
self-expression so I think that even
though I was brought up with quite a
strong respect for authority and and
rules I think there was always a tiny
little rebel in me
I remember being sent home from
investment-banking training because I
didn’t adhere to the dress code but
today I can where I can say I can do
whatever the hell I want and actually
it’s nearly the other way around the
crazier the better for my image so today
I get my validation not from money or
status but today I get my validation
from from ecstasy creating ecstasy for
other people creating ecstasy on the
dance floor feeling ecstasy myself when
creating ecstasy on the dance floor it’s
a two-way thing and from being
recognized as a DJ and basically just
from being myself in all my forms and
it’s again it’s just a wonderful thing
so now I’m all the wiser now I know
these things and I know how they have
shaped my journey but for some reason I
wasn’t able you know when I was 18
coming out of school I wasn’t able to
see these things or know that these were
actually my needs and I think probably
because of my upbringing because of
environmental factors so two things had
to happen for me like as a wake-up call
number one is literally I had to get
into a situation with no way out I had
to hit
the war because as a student you still
have a certain degree of freedom so you
can still you know you know one tells
you to go to the lecture I mean you know
you should but you know you still have
freedom but suddenly I was here and even
though even the the the internship was
you know three months you know I was
like yeah three months great you know it
wasn’t serious yet it wasn’t serious and
suddenly there it was I was dead serious
that was like my job now and so I was in
a situation where I was so far removed
from my actual spirit and with no way
out with no possibility of compensating
for my needs
then that you know my internal alarm was
so loud and my need to escape got so
strong that I had no other way but to
liberate myself from that golden prison
that I had built for myself number two
London being in London was a major role
because being exposed to all that
exciting crazy colourful life you know
it it seems that somehow it triggered or
it wakened up things in me that must
have already been there they must have
been dormant because London pulled it
out of me and like it transformed me at
such tremendous speed because if I let’s
say if I had moved to Frankfurt and be
an investment banker
I mean Frankfurt is not exactly known
for its the alternative exciting scene
so if I lived in Frankfurt and be a
banker and let’s say lived by myself and
hang out only with other bankers I think
it would have taken a lot lot longer if
at all I mean it would have been very
different anyways but it would have
taken a lot longer for me to find my
path even though I think actually
already the decision to go to London for
an internship was somehow I think
already in non-conscious pull away from
what I knew and towards something new
towards a new environment so it was that
that hit the war situation plus new
environmental factors that that kind of
came together and just created that
explosion of six months so in Lesson
banking
right so to summarize I couldn’t have
known before this was just as much a
surprise to me then as to everyone else
I mean to my parents and my bosses even
they’d they you know after sir I was the
only person out of the year of Turin
people who yeah who resigned after in
the first year so and also and that’s
also interesting I don’t think it was
courage it was you know I felt so badly
caged in that it was it was necessary
required maybe even somewhat
predetermined correction of my cause and
now the last question I mean do I regret
do I regret all this of course I don’t
because it’s part of who I am as part of
the story I would not be here if I
wasn’t if I hadn’t been there and also
being a former or sometimes you know
recovered investment banker has opened a
few doors in my life and people look at
you differently when they find out about
that story so you know I’m glad I’m glad
I take that box and I mean it’s there
still a bit of investment banker in me
well have a look at my DJ software if
that doesn’t look like an excel sheet
you [Applause]
and indeed it is a very special honor to
be back in the sacred halls of the WSU
because I did spend many years here and
I graduated in 2006 and went to London
to be an investment banker and today I’m
a professional DJ what the hell happened
so just to give you an example of the
difference so I would like to take you
through my last ten years of the journey
and more importantly I want to talk
about the factors actually that led to
such a crucial change not only career
but obviously in lifestyle because many
people when they hear about the top line
of the story from banker to DJ they they
immediately say oh my god that’s so
courageous of you you know you you left
the corporate world and do your own
thing and follow your dreams but to be
honest that’s the only part of the story
and actually it’s not the story at all
because I don’t think it was courage at
all because I want to show that it was a
lot more subtle factors at work and it
was more like let’s call it a correction
on my path towards self-realization but
I’m going to talk more about that so
let’s let’s begin so I want to basically
walk you through my journey so I brought
a few things so I want to put this as my
that’s my DJ cornerstone and this is my
investment-banking
come honest and with a few guys and
actually I want to sail you through my
journey and not walk through my journey
because as you might have seen I liked
the idea the whole framework of my talk
is the inner compass so I believe that
somehow we have
something within us that will lead us
towards fulfilling our potential but
what do I mean my potential well it’s a
bit of an abstract concept but I believe
it’s a mixture of our capabilities and
skills our interests and our needs and
there’s a line in psychology that
suggests that an individual will always
follow a path towards fulfilling their
potential if the circumstances are
supportive but however if there’s any
factors hindering them from doing so it
can lead to inner conflict so I want to
I want to take this as an idea for my
story okay right let’s start so here I
am I want to start here Here I am at the
end of school so I was 18 years old and
I knew I wanted to study business
because I was quite analytically minded
I liked structure deficiency and I
wanted to apply that in real-life
situations so also I had always been
quite good at school and in my youth I
played three different types of sports
or single sports no team sports and in
all of them I ran in competitions so
very early on I had internalized a
liking for competitiveness for
performance and a belief that I could
gain validation through achievement so
no wonder then when I heard about this
university I was like alright then so I
applied only to this University and then
you know did that mission test got
accepted and started studying so there I
was on the way and naturally this kind
of highly achievement and performance
driven environment kept on feeding into
into that focus on achievement in
hindsight I realized that I’ve been
motivated by you know my own projected
image of a competent and successful
businesswoman so that was what I was
following so I specialized in finance
and then a year before graduation I went
to London to do an internship with
Merrill Lynch and I pretty much enjoyed
it well in hindsight I’m not quite sure
whether it was the work the job or
London that I enjoyed more but anyway
when they make me a job offer for the
year after
I happily accepted so I went back to uni
for my last year and I danced my way
through school because I was like yeah I
landed a great job and I was proud and
happy and elated and you know did the
bare minimum to get my degree and I’m
sure professor Rudolph who actually
wrote my lab final thesis with I think
he can attest that how terrible my final
thesis was but anyway so there I was I
handed in my thesis the day after I flew
to New York for investment banking
training and you know I had the time of
my life and then I moved to London to
start working so so far so good I had
achieved the first cornerstone of being
that competent and successful
businesswoman
I had achieved validation through
achievement I was 22 years old I worked
for one of the most well known
investment banks at the time at least
and I earned my yearly starting salary
was close to a hundred thousand euros so
I was proud my parents were proud so
what the hell happened then so let me
give you more context about London so I
moved to London and I moved into a
six-bedroom place with you know six
other young people who were all not
bankers so they were all just normally
young people doing some jobs and you
know doing enjoying life in the meantime
and also a tiny it seems like a tiny
factor but actually I think it was
pretty big was that I had negotiated one
month off with my team so I didn’t start
working straight away but I had one
month off in London fully paid which was
great and so basically I immersed myself
into into London and so I went out a lot
I watched lots of live bands and I was
really soaking up that live that
exciting life and it felt like I was
kind of you know catching up on
everything that I that I haven’t had in
my performance focus student years so
then when I then started working after a
month it was like I had kind of two
personas it felt like you know during
the day I was the investment banker and
doing all other times I was that
you know experience seeking fun-loving
rock chick and but I was determined to
be able to combine those two it actually
gave me a lot of strength to know I had
two personas and I was like yeah I’m
gonna do this well if you go you know as
you can imagine that didn’t quite work
out so you know working 12 hours a day
alone actually takes a lot out of you so
you know I got more and more physically
exhausted at first so lack of sleep
exhaustion and you know and I felt more
and more suffocated and during the day
so at work I was getting more and more
lethargic and unmotivated and I couldn’t
wait the day was over so I could do all
these other things that you know I
wanted to be doing and to live that life
that I had just about discovered for
myself so that inner conflict between my
two personas grow grew stronger and
stronger and I felt so suffocated and
also my my private persona started
infiltrating my professional one so I
think I stretched the dress code at the
bank as far as I could and in my breaks
I was smoking roll up cigarettes so I
was kind of becoming this a rebel and
after a while I realized it just it got
so bad so did this inner conflict I knew
I was wrong I had to get out and I knew
it wasn’t just a decision about the
career I knew it was a decision about
how I wanted to live my life so after
six months of banking here I quit so let
me symbolize that by taking my jacket
off
so this is my investment-banking jacket
right so what happened then I had no
idea what to do next I mean I had no
goal I had no further go I had all these
years I had set my sales straight to
here and suddenly I was like I don’t
know I had no idea but this is what I
think this is pretty crucial because
metaphorically I took my sales down and
just started drifting on the waves of
life
and I think this is unconsciously of
course this is when my inner compass
actually started being able to work and
to guide me so this is so the black
compass was meant to be the one that was
really you know the conscious decision
to be in amazement banker and now the
red compass is kind of guiding me into
another direction so what happened well
there’s 10 years between here and there
so I got to kind of summarize the
important part basically professionally
you could say it was a disaster so I was
working in lots of freelance part-time
jobs I was working in PR advertising
marketing admin I was working in cafes
and at one point I worked at Topshop of
clothing retail store on Oxford Circus
for six pounds an hour but it didn’t
matter because on the other hand on the
private side of things other things
happen so to start with one turning
point was pretty much still when I was a
banker but I was you know I was at a
live concert and as I you know watch
quite a lot of good live gigs and then
one night I realized that I was always
watching the drummer and total
fascination and then I was like I had a
lightbulb moment I was like I’m gonna
learn the drums and so I did I bought
myself a drum kit and started taught
myself drumming and it was so it was so
easy it was so like natural I learned so
quickly my brain was soaking it up it
was literally like as if something came
out that was already there it was really
crazy
so I started drumming and at the exact
same time I met again fait compass
whatever I met a guy a lovely guy at a
pub and he played in a band and he was
like well our drama is about to quit do
you not want to maybe step in and I was
like I was I was terrified
but I was like hell yeah my got to step
in so after about three months of
drumming I think I played my first gig
in a band so great and I mean that band
didn’t ask very long but this lovely guy
and me we founded our own band and that
was to become our baby for quite a few
years
so that band was called road caption
which is German for Little Red Riding
Hood and well in London no one could
pronounce or even write our name on any
bloody flyer but anyway so we did life
electronic music so during that time you
know we we were so passionate about it
and I also discovered London clubs and
electronic music and we spent every
single minute of our time to create new
music to learn the technology the
software the equipment and everything
went to lots of gigs and it was just
really really passionate inspiring time
and so you know we played in that band
for many years and it became a hobby I
mean at first you play for free for like
two years and then you get maybe 10
pounds and then and then you build up
from there
and then at some point we reached a
point that was fairly professional and
well I gave it my all I said this was
this was my focus this is why I didn’t
matter you know play we were working in
Topshop you know because I had add the
music but at some point somehow we
didn’t quite make it enough to live of
it so at some point the band ran out of
steam and I ran out of money because I
still had set all these times you know
only five six years I still had savings
from from these six months of investment
making so I mean you know obviously I
was very very diligently I was really
afraid of kind of tucking into it but it
was always a little reserved in the back
and it was kind of eaten away very very
slowly like you know maybe a few hundred
pounds each month but at some point
after five years it was gone so I was
like okay I’m gonna do now hey I need
money okay so I tried myself at another
couple of full-time jobs didn’t last
very long and musically I was like okay
ban does know more what am I gonna do
I’m by myself
okay well DJ great I’m gonna be a DJ and
this is when a neo was born at the same
time I started spending more and more
time in Berlin so I did for two three
years I did the Berlin London maybe like
half half and Berlin was a whole new
playground and I I went out
I met lots of people and lots of
contacts and also got my first DJ gigs
and that’s great but that was really
also I want to say that was a difficult
time because it wasn’t all roses because
at that time as I said I had no savings
left and I really really struggled
financially I had to do lots and lots of
jobs on the side I struggled financially
and sometimes didn’t know how to pay my
rent I got into debt and it was really
it was really really challenging however
somehow I you know I stayed with it I
went through and got more and more gigs
and at some point about two years ago
there came a turning point where I
suddenly met started making enough money
of teaching so that I could just not
have to do any other job and stay here
so I arrived somewhere so and I couldn’t
believe it at first because all these
years you know they were music was my
focus but I had learned that it was
always a struggle you know it was always
just on the side I had to do other
things and suddenly I couldn’t believe
it that I get actually paid for
something that doesn’t feel like work it
actually feels like a privilege and
someone actually choose to pay you for
it
I just care it was imagined go to your
favorite club and all your friends are
there and you have fun at your party and
you play your own music and you get paid
for it I mean that’s ours impossible and
the most wonderful thing about it is
that I have now reached a point of total
congruence you know I was saying about
this conflict which I had between the
two personas but now basically I you
know everything I do maybe
professionally as a DJ or privately you
know going out meeting people actually
it there’s no difference anymore between
professionally and privately so whatever
I do going out meeting people you know
partying DJing doing modeling jobs
writing an article for a newspaper
whatever whatever I do it all feeds back
into each other and it’s one in the same
person it’s all as all a neo and that is
hugely hugely liberating
whoo so I mean it would be consistent to
take my trousers off now but I’m not
going to do that so but I’m gonna put
these on ah that feels good so now in my
element again okay so the big question
is why didn’t I so remember that was the
end of school why didn’t I go straight
to here why did I have to do all this
detour that is a very good question
because that is you know I I really had
to reflect on that myself because as I
said this these ten years were pretty
much a very unconscious way I didn’t
plan this so basically my explanation is
this
I now know now that I’m in tune with my
internal compass I know that I have
certain needs and certain personality
traits which kind of the same thing so I
have certain needs that are very very
crucial to my well-being and I know now
that when I look back on my ten years I
realize now that they have been acting
as unconscious driving forces let’s say
like the motor to my boat without sail
so basically these were the things that
were driving me all along and I can
identify them now and I want to tell you
what it is so a autonomy and
self-determination I personally as a
person I need total freedom I need a
high degree of freedom I need to be
independent and I need to be in control
of my life and I know that now because I
tried myself at four full time jobs that
won’t be in the first one and I never
lasted more than seven months in any of
them because for some reason whatever it
is but being in a full-time role just
suffocates me so much that every time my
boat has been pulling me away from it
again number two variety and adventure
so today I travel a lot and no week is
the same so I want to give you an
example week of my working week so for
example on the Thursday night I might DJ
at a corporate event so let’s say the
annual conference of American
pharmaceutical company at the Hilton
Hotel in Berlin
and then on a Friday I might play at my
residency at Kit Kat club and which is a
well-known naughty Club and I’m a I
might play at a so I played at a gay
fetish night
so I’m playing mm masuleh hot gay guys
in leather gear and then and then the
next on a Saturday I might fly to
Copenhagen and DJ at a 1920s Gatsby
style swing Bor so what a wonderful
variety and I think you can imagine that
this bad boy didn’t quite take that box
and number three individuality and
self-expression so I think that even
though I was brought up with quite a
strong respect for authority and and
rules I think there was always a tiny
little rebel in me
I remember being sent home from
investment-banking training because I
didn’t adhere to the dress code but
today I can where I can say I can do
whatever the hell I want and actually
it’s nearly the other way around the
crazier the better for my image so today
I get my validation not from money or
status but today I get my validation
from from ecstasy creating ecstasy for
other people creating ecstasy on the
dance floor feeling ecstasy myself when
creating ecstasy on the dance floor it’s
a two-way thing and from being
recognized as a DJ and basically just
from being myself in all my forms and
it’s again it’s just a wonderful thing
so now I’m all the wiser now I know
these things and I know how they have
shaped my journey but for some reason I
wasn’t able you know when I was 18
coming out of school I wasn’t able to
see these things or know that these were
actually my needs and I think probably
because of my upbringing because of
environmental factors so two things had
to happen for me like as a wake-up call
number one is literally I had to get
into a situation with no way out I had
to hit
the war because as a student you still
have a certain degree of freedom so you
can still you know you know one tells
you to go to the lecture I mean you know
you should but you know you still have
freedom but suddenly I was here and even
though even the the the internship was
you know three months you know I was
like yeah three months great you know it
wasn’t serious yet it wasn’t serious and
suddenly there it was I was dead serious
that was like my job now and so I was in
a situation where I was so far removed
from my actual spirit and with no way
out with no possibility of compensating
for my needs
then that you know my internal alarm was
so loud and my need to escape got so
strong that I had no other way but to
liberate myself from that golden prison
that I had built for myself number two
London being in London was a major role
because being exposed to all that
exciting crazy colourful life you know
it it seems that somehow it triggered or
it wakened up things in me that must
have already been there they must have
been dormant because London pulled it
out of me and like it transformed me at
such tremendous speed because if I let’s
say if I had moved to Frankfurt and be
an investment banker
I mean Frankfurt is not exactly known
for its the alternative exciting scene
so if I lived in Frankfurt and be a
banker and let’s say lived by myself and
hang out only with other bankers I think
it would have taken a lot lot longer if
at all I mean it would have been very
different anyways but it would have
taken a lot longer for me to find my
path even though I think actually
already the decision to go to London for
an internship was somehow I think
already in non-conscious pull away from
what I knew and towards something new
towards a new environment so it was that
that hit the war situation plus new
environmental factors that that kind of
came together and just created that
explosion of six months so in Lesson
banking
right so to summarize I couldn’t have
known before this was just as much a
surprise to me then as to everyone else
I mean to my parents and my bosses even
they’d they you know after sir I was the
only person out of the year of Turin
people who yeah who resigned after in
the first year so and also and that’s
also interesting I don’t think it was
courage it was you know I felt so badly
caged in that it was it was necessary
required maybe even somewhat
predetermined correction of my cause and
now the last question I mean do I regret
do I regret all this of course I don’t
because it’s part of who I am as part of
the story I would not be here if I
wasn’t if I hadn’t been there and also
being a former or sometimes you know
recovered investment banker has opened a
few doors in my life and people look at
you differently when they find out about
that story so you know I’m glad I’m glad
I take that box and I mean it’s there
still a bit of investment banker in me
well have a look at my DJ software if
that doesn’t look like an excel sheet
you [Applause]
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