[Music]
what if you found out that you have a
virus a virus that could cut decades off
your life this virus killed my brother
when he was 59 years old a virus that
could make you fat cause high blood
pressure diabetes a heart attack
or even a stroke what if this virus
messed with your brain in the same way
as Alzheimer’s disease making it harder
for you to think intelligently and
causing you to become angry and
depressed how would you feel if you
discovered that you have a virus that
makes you more likely to get divorced
struggle financially and even lose and
friends and what if this virus spread
from you to your family to your friends
to your co-workers all through casual
contact I was diagnosed with this virus
more than 10 years ago the chances are
you or someone you love as it – I’m
going to tell you a simple way to
diagnose and treat the virus it’s
something that anyone can do even you it
costs nothing and you can begin right
now wherever you are
the virus I’m talking about is
complaining complaining reading wires
your brain for negativity making you
actually look for and attract problems
complaining causes your adrenal cortex
to pump out the stress hormone cortisol
making you more likely to get fat have
high blood pressure
a heart attack or even a stroke
complaining shrinks your brain’s
hippocampus then leaking the effects of
Alzheimer’s disease making it harder for
you to think clearly the average person
complains 15 to 30 times a day and has
nowhere as they’re doing it complaining
is like bad breath you notice it when it
comes out of somebody else’s mouth but
not when it comes out of your own I was
diagnosed with the complaining virus on
July 23rd 2006 back then I was the
minister of a small Church in Kansas
City Missouri and I was doing a series
on prosperity
I find that regardless of how prosperous
people are they want to be more
prosperous ask yourself what I like to
be more prosperous I have asked that
question of audiences tens of thousands
of people all over the world and without
exception what I do almost every one
hand goes up people say they want to be
more prosperous and for most people
prosperity means more more money more
health or friends or love more the
challenge is we complain incessantly
about what we already have and if you’re
complaining about what you already have
why would you want more complaining is
an energetic block to our prosperity and
so as I was teaching this series I was
trying to figure out first and foremost
how to get people to stop complaining
because complaining repels the
prosperity that we say that we want many
people have said that if you do a new
behavior over and over for 21
days at the end of that 21 days that new
behavior will become a habit so I
wondered could we make not complaining
habitual but if you decided to try and
go 21 days in a row without complaining
I wondered how in the world would you
know what day you’re on certainly you’re
not gonna make it the very first time 21
days in a row there’s gonna be some
starting over until I have this idea the
idea was to take a bracelet a rubber
bracelet put it on your wrist and every
time you get yourself complaining you
take it off one wrist and you move it to
the other wrist your goal is to go 21
days in a row without complaining you
catch yourself complaining you take the
bracelet off your wrist and you move it
to the other wrist
well my church purchased 500 rubber
bracelets in that weekend we handed out
250 of them and it was at that moment
that I realized we were caught in the
middle of a complaining epidemic because
as soon as the service was over people
rushed up to me and wanted the rest of
the bracelets they wanted them for their
schools they wanted them for their
businesses they wanted them for their
Girl Scout troops you name it they
wanted them they realized all of a
sudden that we were in the middle of a
complaining epidemic and they wanted it
gone requests begin to pour in from all
over the world and they haven’t stopped
in 10 years approximately 11 complaint
11 million rather complaint free
bracelets have been distributed to
people in over a hundred ten countries
but you don’t need our bracelet to be
the complaint free challenge you can use
a bracelet you are you have you can use
a rubber band
you could put a stone in one pocket
every time you complain take it out and
move it to the other side the idea is to
get the mind and the body working
together if the body is engaged the mind
can be aware of the complaining virus
and can choose not to give in to its ill
effects and this is important because
the complaining virus self perpetuates
once one person becomes a willing host
patient zero than an outbreak begins to
spread from that person to everyone they
come in contact now just to be clear the
kind of complaining I am talking about
is not when you call customer support
because your computer’s not working
that’s going to make your life better
not worse you explain your problem if
you ask for resolution explain your
problem you ask for resolution you keep
repeating it until ultimately you’re
satisfied the kind of complaining I’m
talking about is the how did this happen
to me complaining we hear from so many
people around the world becoming a
complaint free person does not mean
taking whatever comes you away and not
speaking up it means practicing healthy
communication skills it means speaking
directly and only to the person who can
resolve your problem
most people come home from work and they
complain to their spouse about their job
then they get up the next morning and
they go back to work and they complain
to their co-workers about their spouse
and they can understand why nothing
seems to get better this is the
complaining virus that has our world
trapped today complaining to people who
can do nothing to improve the situation
it’s negative it serves no purpose and
its destructive to your health your
happiness your success and your
relationships
so if complaining is so bad you’re
probably wondering why we do it they
complain for only one of five reasons to
remember the five reasons I came up with
the acronym gripe G our IP e which I
realize only works in English but the
concepts are universal the G of great
stands for get attention this is the
most common reason people complain they
simply want to connect with other people
and they don’t know how to do it in a
positive way and so they can play about
the weather politics local sports team
their kids their health anything they
can think of to get the other person’s
attention the problem is that since
complaining is a competitive sport
you’ve noticed this right it’s a
competitive sport when one person
complains the other person doesn’t just
complain back they try to out complain
you and then you feel like you’ve got to
help complain them and before you know
it you’re caught up in an escalating
spiral of negativity when someone says
to you man the weather is lousy today
they’re really saying talk to me I need
to G get your attention
the R stands for remove responsibility
if you give someone a task they don’t
want to do it they’ll complain about the
circumstances surrounding the task as a
way of being that off
look you say to somebody and I need that
report by Tuesday and they say you know
I’d love to get that report to you by
Tuesday but I’ve got to get the research
from marketing and then we know how slow
marketing is and then I got to get the
numbers from accounting and accounting
is even slower than marketing
besides I checked my horoscope and Mars
is in retrograde so I just don’t think
it’s gonna happen by complaining this
person has removed themselves from the
responsibility of doing the report the
iron grip stands for inspire Envy also
known as a humble brag around the world
it is considered rude to brag about your
good fortune but you can complain about
your good fortune and at the same time
accomplish the same outcome complaining
to your friends about the problems
you’re having with your brand-new iPhone
make sure that all your friends know
you’ve got a brand new iPhone it’s done
to inspire ruthie the PIA the grippe
stands for power now I’m from the United
States and in the United States we see
complaining used for power about every
four years and I’m not talking about the
Olympics negative campaign ads work but
not for the reason that you would think
negative campaign ads are not designed
to get you to see the light and change
party’s negative campaign ads are
designed to disgust you so much with
your own party that you don’t vote and
the other candidate whose
step closer to power the e’en great
status for excuse poor performance now
as a golfer I can tell you that we are
masters of complaining to excuse our
poor performance we hit a drive slices
right off over the trees but that’s not
our fault it’s because our grip panels
were wet the Sun was in our eyes or
someone’s knees but during our backswing
it’s not our fault we are complaining to
remove ourselves from responsible excuse
me to excuse our poor performance to
excuse our poor performance so one more
time the five reasons people complain
GRI PE get attention
remove responsibility inspire envied
power and excuse poor performance
it is our net social needs that is
driving the complaining virus so you’re
probably wondering is there a cure for
this epidemic there is first establish a
quarantine site created a complaint free
zone if you have a business it could be
a brake rub it could be a conference
room it could be a shop floor just pick
one place as a place that no one
complains in your family it could be
your kitchen table or your living room
or your car one place that is a sacred
place that is free from the noxious air
pollution of complaining so establish a
quarantine site the second thing is you
yourself do something to become aware of
how
you can play you can put a bracelet on
your wrist or a rubber band or you can
put a stone in either pocket every time
you complain move the bracelet from one
risk to the other wrist so that
ultimately over time you become more
aware of your complaining and will
complain less until ideally you go 21
days in a row and it becomes habitual
for you or as I said you can simply move
a stone from one pocket to the other
pocket engaging the body and the mind
together you have a choice you can be a
carrier of the complaining virus or you
can be an antibody that inoculates
everybody you come in contact with you
know no one ever complained their way to
help happiness and success if you agree
that the world is caught in a
complaining epidemic then the only way
to stem the tide is to paraphrase gonna
be become the cure you wish to see in
the world thank you for your time
you
what if you found out that you have a
virus a virus that could cut decades off
your life this virus killed my brother
when he was 59 years old a virus that
could make you fat cause high blood
pressure diabetes a heart attack
or even a stroke what if this virus
messed with your brain in the same way
as Alzheimer’s disease making it harder
for you to think intelligently and
causing you to become angry and
depressed how would you feel if you
discovered that you have a virus that
makes you more likely to get divorced
struggle financially and even lose and
friends and what if this virus spread
from you to your family to your friends
to your co-workers all through casual
contact I was diagnosed with this virus
more than 10 years ago the chances are
you or someone you love as it – I’m
going to tell you a simple way to
diagnose and treat the virus it’s
something that anyone can do even you it
costs nothing and you can begin right
now wherever you are
the virus I’m talking about is
complaining complaining reading wires
your brain for negativity making you
actually look for and attract problems
complaining causes your adrenal cortex
to pump out the stress hormone cortisol
making you more likely to get fat have
high blood pressure
a heart attack or even a stroke
complaining shrinks your brain’s
hippocampus then leaking the effects of
Alzheimer’s disease making it harder for
you to think clearly the average person
complains 15 to 30 times a day and has
nowhere as they’re doing it complaining
is like bad breath you notice it when it
comes out of somebody else’s mouth but
not when it comes out of your own I was
diagnosed with the complaining virus on
July 23rd 2006 back then I was the
minister of a small Church in Kansas
City Missouri and I was doing a series
on prosperity
I find that regardless of how prosperous
people are they want to be more
prosperous ask yourself what I like to
be more prosperous I have asked that
question of audiences tens of thousands
of people all over the world and without
exception what I do almost every one
hand goes up people say they want to be
more prosperous and for most people
prosperity means more more money more
health or friends or love more the
challenge is we complain incessantly
about what we already have and if you’re
complaining about what you already have
why would you want more complaining is
an energetic block to our prosperity and
so as I was teaching this series I was
trying to figure out first and foremost
how to get people to stop complaining
because complaining repels the
prosperity that we say that we want many
people have said that if you do a new
behavior over and over for 21
days at the end of that 21 days that new
behavior will become a habit so I
wondered could we make not complaining
habitual but if you decided to try and
go 21 days in a row without complaining
I wondered how in the world would you
know what day you’re on certainly you’re
not gonna make it the very first time 21
days in a row there’s gonna be some
starting over until I have this idea the
idea was to take a bracelet a rubber
bracelet put it on your wrist and every
time you get yourself complaining you
take it off one wrist and you move it to
the other wrist your goal is to go 21
days in a row without complaining you
catch yourself complaining you take the
bracelet off your wrist and you move it
to the other wrist
well my church purchased 500 rubber
bracelets in that weekend we handed out
250 of them and it was at that moment
that I realized we were caught in the
middle of a complaining epidemic because
as soon as the service was over people
rushed up to me and wanted the rest of
the bracelets they wanted them for their
schools they wanted them for their
businesses they wanted them for their
Girl Scout troops you name it they
wanted them they realized all of a
sudden that we were in the middle of a
complaining epidemic and they wanted it
gone requests begin to pour in from all
over the world and they haven’t stopped
in 10 years approximately 11 complaint
11 million rather complaint free
bracelets have been distributed to
people in over a hundred ten countries
but you don’t need our bracelet to be
the complaint free challenge you can use
a bracelet you are you have you can use
a rubber band
you could put a stone in one pocket
every time you complain take it out and
move it to the other side the idea is to
get the mind and the body working
together if the body is engaged the mind
can be aware of the complaining virus
and can choose not to give in to its ill
effects and this is important because
the complaining virus self perpetuates
once one person becomes a willing host
patient zero than an outbreak begins to
spread from that person to everyone they
come in contact now just to be clear the
kind of complaining I am talking about
is not when you call customer support
because your computer’s not working
that’s going to make your life better
not worse you explain your problem if
you ask for resolution explain your
problem you ask for resolution you keep
repeating it until ultimately you’re
satisfied the kind of complaining I’m
talking about is the how did this happen
to me complaining we hear from so many
people around the world becoming a
complaint free person does not mean
taking whatever comes you away and not
speaking up it means practicing healthy
communication skills it means speaking
directly and only to the person who can
resolve your problem
most people come home from work and they
complain to their spouse about their job
then they get up the next morning and
they go back to work and they complain
to their co-workers about their spouse
and they can understand why nothing
seems to get better this is the
complaining virus that has our world
trapped today complaining to people who
can do nothing to improve the situation
it’s negative it serves no purpose and
its destructive to your health your
happiness your success and your
relationships
so if complaining is so bad you’re
probably wondering why we do it they
complain for only one of five reasons to
remember the five reasons I came up with
the acronym gripe G our IP e which I
realize only works in English but the
concepts are universal the G of great
stands for get attention this is the
most common reason people complain they
simply want to connect with other people
and they don’t know how to do it in a
positive way and so they can play about
the weather politics local sports team
their kids their health anything they
can think of to get the other person’s
attention the problem is that since
complaining is a competitive sport
you’ve noticed this right it’s a
competitive sport when one person
complains the other person doesn’t just
complain back they try to out complain
you and then you feel like you’ve got to
help complain them and before you know
it you’re caught up in an escalating
spiral of negativity when someone says
to you man the weather is lousy today
they’re really saying talk to me I need
to G get your attention
the R stands for remove responsibility
if you give someone a task they don’t
want to do it they’ll complain about the
circumstances surrounding the task as a
way of being that off
look you say to somebody and I need that
report by Tuesday and they say you know
I’d love to get that report to you by
Tuesday but I’ve got to get the research
from marketing and then we know how slow
marketing is and then I got to get the
numbers from accounting and accounting
is even slower than marketing
besides I checked my horoscope and Mars
is in retrograde so I just don’t think
it’s gonna happen by complaining this
person has removed themselves from the
responsibility of doing the report the
iron grip stands for inspire Envy also
known as a humble brag around the world
it is considered rude to brag about your
good fortune but you can complain about
your good fortune and at the same time
accomplish the same outcome complaining
to your friends about the problems
you’re having with your brand-new iPhone
make sure that all your friends know
you’ve got a brand new iPhone it’s done
to inspire ruthie the PIA the grippe
stands for power now I’m from the United
States and in the United States we see
complaining used for power about every
four years and I’m not talking about the
Olympics negative campaign ads work but
not for the reason that you would think
negative campaign ads are not designed
to get you to see the light and change
party’s negative campaign ads are
designed to disgust you so much with
your own party that you don’t vote and
the other candidate whose
step closer to power the e’en great
status for excuse poor performance now
as a golfer I can tell you that we are
masters of complaining to excuse our
poor performance we hit a drive slices
right off over the trees but that’s not
our fault it’s because our grip panels
were wet the Sun was in our eyes or
someone’s knees but during our backswing
it’s not our fault we are complaining to
remove ourselves from responsible excuse
me to excuse our poor performance to
excuse our poor performance so one more
time the five reasons people complain
GRI PE get attention
remove responsibility inspire envied
power and excuse poor performance
it is our net social needs that is
driving the complaining virus so you’re
probably wondering is there a cure for
this epidemic there is first establish a
quarantine site created a complaint free
zone if you have a business it could be
a brake rub it could be a conference
room it could be a shop floor just pick
one place as a place that no one
complains in your family it could be
your kitchen table or your living room
or your car one place that is a sacred
place that is free from the noxious air
pollution of complaining so establish a
quarantine site the second thing is you
yourself do something to become aware of
how
you can play you can put a bracelet on
your wrist or a rubber band or you can
put a stone in either pocket every time
you complain move the bracelet from one
risk to the other wrist so that
ultimately over time you become more
aware of your complaining and will
complain less until ideally you go 21
days in a row and it becomes habitual
for you or as I said you can simply move
a stone from one pocket to the other
pocket engaging the body and the mind
together you have a choice you can be a
carrier of the complaining virus or you
can be an antibody that inoculates
everybody you come in contact with you
know no one ever complained their way to
help happiness and success if you agree
that the world is caught in a
complaining epidemic then the only way
to stem the tide is to paraphrase gonna
be become the cure you wish to see in
the world thank you for your time
you
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