pretty great I was surrounded with
people who looked and thought and acted
just like me and the people in my family
in hindsight it makes me think of a wide
flat space like a dance floor there was
plenty of room when we all knew the
right moves and did I already say that
it felt safe I also admit I was pretty
obsessed with the idea of romance my
older brother was often the target of my
instructional lessons I had been giving
him pointers about how to get a hot
ladies since I was about 4
this included valuable advice like if
you’re gonna get a hot lady you’re gonna
need to be a good singer
I’d also suggested a pretty fantastic
16th birthday party for him where all
the girls from Twin Falls would come
over and he’d stand on our coffee table
and just pick one to be his girlfriend I
was young enough that I couldn’t see any
flaws in this plan because of these
years of matchmaking intensity my
parents were a little worried when I was
7 and he told me that he didn’t actually
fall in love with girls and he didn’t
want to marry a girl he told me that he
fell in love with boys and he wanted to
marry a boy but they didn’t need to
worry he was 10 years older than I
wasn’t hit along been my hero a little
detail like that couldn’t change his
image in my mind I just switched my
focus helping him find a hot guide
romance instead I just wanted him to be
loved and to be happy but he was and
always will be my Jackson the brother
who fought to rock me to sleep at night
and taught me to play peek-a-boo it was
quite shocking to me to discover that
not everyone would be able to accept
this information about my brother
quite so easily in fact people even
people are quite concerned about who
others fall in love with and even try to
make laws about such things
I began to notice conversations that I
hadn’t really noticed before or at least
I notice conversations and new weights
even though I was still just eight years
old I realized that the lessons at my
church were teaching me that my hero
wouldn’t be able to be in the same
heaven with our family forever if he
fell in love with married the man of his
dreams
it made me feel quite lonely and
misunderstood and I started crying a lot
at church and going to my mom’s classes
with her instead of the usual children’s
classes that I’d always loved these were
some of the first times is that that
wide open space of childhood felt
uncomfortable I knew that my brother’s
wasn’t going to be able to do all of the
same required moves and wasn’t going to
fit in the same way anymore
other conversations came to my attention
in new ways some kids on the playground
were talking about how people couldn’t
tried to say that for my brother because
he was obviously gay before he was 18
but they didn’t believe me they just
wouldn’t listen and they refused to talk
about it anymore
and once I was told by a friend that it
wasn’t my fault that I had bad parents
who taught me lies the big day was okay
and this really hurt me because we were
great friends I couldn’t even talk to
her for a little while knowing that she
thought I had bad parents and then my
brother wasn’t okay that wide open space
where I had always been dancing was
under construction and I was starting to
bump into people quite a bit the other
people on the floor hadn’t changed and
the moves are all the same we just
didn’t fit the same as before it didn’t
feel safe for us and we certainly didn’t
feel safe to others I realized that my
sexuality and gender nonconforming
friends had always been feeling like
there might not be space for them to fit
by this point my mom had been doing a
lot of learning about the LGBTQ
community I had kind of drugged the
whole family family along for the ride
I was meeting a lot of really new and
interesting people some of these people
might not have felt comfortable on the
flat space for his spend our time before
and a lot of them and actually been
kicked out but they still welcome my
boring family into their exciting spaces
some of them look like us and some not
so much
they can have crazy hair or lots of
tattoos some even wear clothing my mom
might have called inappropriate a few
years before families with two moms or
two dads have kids who like the same
sorts of things that I do the people
with the crazy hair and the tattoos talk
about the same important thing as my mom
and dad talk about like being kind and
generous and helping people marching and
colorful parades with awesome music it’s
just fun no matter what else in life
you’re interested in little by little a
beautiful mansion full of interesting
people doing all sorts of dances was
being built in the space with a smooth
flat dance floor had originally been
there was a lot less bumping into people
because there was a lot more room where
everyone could fit inside I made friends
with this really cool girl my age that I
liked a lot
she doesn’t look close to me but I get
really excited every time I get her
chance to be with her when we first met
she hadn’t had a friend over to play for
an entire year even though she still has
lots of friends this is because she is a
transgender sibling and the other
parents are nervous about that influence
on their children my friend even had to
move to a new house and switch schools
just so that she could make friends that
didn’t know about her transgender
sibling but one a missed opportunity for
all the other people at the old school
who could have had so much fun playing
in a great house with my friend
shortly after this friend and I met some
kids on the playground were laughing and
talking about a story their mom had just
found the news about a boy that dresses
up and pretends
girl and they were laughing and talking
about how disgusting at once I know a
lot of transgender people and families
and know how deeply this
misunderstanding has hurt them
I tried to help the kids on the click on
understand what it really means to be
transgender but I knew that my
experiences weren’t overcoming this
large influence from their parents
every time my family attends a pride
event or conference or I get to help
with a hugging booth
I meet so many new people I have become
really amazed at how many different
people there are and they have giant
hearts and beautiful voices and
numberless talents many are vulnerable
and share their heartbreaking stories
with me but they are bright and happy as
well and they make me smile in the
middle of that diversity and color and
glitter the really beautiful thing is
learning that all of these people are
also so very much like me I think the
world would be really bleak and dim if
we tried to hide all of this variety oh
and the sparkle that comes with this
variety sometimes my family talks about
how things were five years ago
when we were most often surrounded by
people who looked and thought and acted
just like us and there were safety in
that and my grandparents definitely felt
more safe for us but when we look at the
mansion that’s been created we were
astonished new rooms are being added
with new people people and chances to
explore and serve all the time beauty
and strength of humanity lies and
celebrating our diversity not in
pretending that we are all the same and
that includes the diverse is diversity
that we find in sexual orientation and
gender identity we can acknowledge
diversity and not fear it and I wonder
why people wouldn’t want to welcome that
I think this might be because some
people feel afraid of the construction
on their flat spaces they feel
comfortable where they think everyone
looks some things like they do
construction can be messy and that can
be risky
sometimes it’s even a little bit painful
but wouldn’t it be better for all of the
world to live together in a beautiful
mansion where every room is welcoming
but decorated a little bit differently
maybe a quirky foursome but everybody
gets their own different style of
dancing and nobody is forced off the
smooth but conforming floor were we are
not welcome to be ourselves the future
is diversity as we are allowed to
embrace ourselves with our unique
qualities and also to embrace each other
for the unique individuals that we are
each one of us can make a difference by
starting the construction to make their
our own inclusion mansion and I know
because I’ve already started to make a
difference all I had to do was start
making friends with all different people
and listen to their stories and accept
them just as they are I’m just one
person I’m still rather small but I know
I’ve only made a dent into what I’ll do
I can’t wait to change the world and I hope that you will all choose to join me