today I want to talk about greatness
how do those that we admire accomplish
incredible things things that few others
can do we all have our idols whether
they are your day-to-day role models or
great societal figures for today’s talk
I want to break down how exceptional
people are able to do the things that
make them exceptional and even more
importantly once we understand the
Stryver how do we harness it ourselves
now many of you in this audience are
thinking greatness I just want to start
waking up for my 9:00 a.m. classes or I
just want to finally get that
professional opportunity that I’ve been
eyeing so my question to you is why
don’t you why don’t you just wake up and
go to class why don’t you just sacrifice
the time you waste on social media
Netflix or whatever your vice is and
make the sacrifices necessary for that
professional opportunity why is it that
every year we tell ourselves that we’re
going to get better grades learn this or
that skill pursue that new venture and
it never really comes into fruition sure
the spark is alive for the first two
weeks and we stick to those perfect
habits by week four we’re back at square
one
sleeping pass our classes not practicing
that new language and done working on
that next big idea clearly there is
something that separates us from the
people that we admire some sort of
invisible wall between you and I and the
person that we’ve always wanted to be
lucky for us numerous experts from an
array of fields have done years of
research to crack this conundrum in a
study of the most effective leaders of
large organizations
Jeffrey Pfeiffer a professor at Stanford
found one trait that unites this
exceptional group
together it wasn’t a high IQ it wasn’t
good people skills it wasn’t good
effective public speaking and it wasn’t
a fancy education you see it was energy
so what separates us from the people
that we admire it isn’t some hidden gift
it’s just energy now if you’re confused
I want you to close your eyes think back
to some of your greatest and most
productive moments we’ve all felt this
feeling before that clarity of mine that
laser-focused when you are able to
propel yourself to your goal everything
around you is silent and there is just
you and a clear path to what you need to
do what if instead of just feeling this
feeling the night before an exam or when
our back is against the wall
we felt it every day in every moment
then we could accomplish all that we set
out to accomplish
forget those nine a.m. classes and
forget that professional pursuits we
could change the world we could change
ourselves so what is this feeling and
why don’t we feel it more consistently
you see the results of Pfeiffer study is
actually rooted in the biology of our
brains our brain is divided into three
components one part is our Homo Sapien
brain this controls analytical and
rational thinking you want to get better
grades you have to wake up and go to
class and work harder on those exams you
want that professional opportunity you
need to make sacrifices and your
personal time to pursue it pretty simple
and purely rational we know it’s good
for us don’t we most of us can
conceptualize what we have or should do
to reach the things that we want to
reach so why don’t we actually do them
let me tell you about the other two
parts of our brain
I see the other two parts of our brain
controls our feelings things like trust
anger and something fundamental to this
puzzle decision-making you see in a
really cruel way nature has made a gap
between us deciding what’s important and
us actually doing the things necessary
to achieve it now things make sense this
is why we press snooze and our alarm
instead of waking up and going to class
even though we know it’s good for us in
the long run this is why we spend our
time on social media or waste our
weekends and debauchery with our friends
instead of pursuing that professional
opportunity it is these two parts of our
brain that holds the key for us to
accomplish all of our goals and is in
these two parts of our brain that holds
the biggest obstacle that will prevent
us from realizing any of them so now
let’s take a back step back from the
science why am I here who is this kid
and he just spent 10 minutes coming to
the conclusion that in order to be
successful I just have to do right
things and ignore the bad things first
off tickets are nonrefundable and second
of all let me tell you about why I’m so
passionate about the subject and how my
life fundamentally changed a few years
ago I want to start by setting some
context on my family background because
it’s important to my story you see my
parents are Chinese immigrants and my
family is a living example of the
American dream my parents gave up
everything to come here their friends
their families and their jobs my parents
made enormous sacrifices and we
struggled financially but we had each
other my mom waited tables during the
day so she could go to Community College
at night and my dad worked for minimum
wage at a research lab so he can improve
his technical skills but even in my
family’s deepest struggles my parents
always had a fire in their eyes as if
they knew that all of this would be
worth it
one day it didn’t make sense it wasn’t
rational no matter how you ran the
calculus a pleasure versus pain or
benefits vs. costs or odds of success
versus failure the hardship that they
put themselves through didn’t make sense
now I understood this legacy from a
young age my parents made sure that I
learned the values of hard work
sacrifice and discipline they pushed me
to work harder than my peers and I
obeyed I assumed my parents didn’t live
enjoyable lives so why should I be
absolved of sacrifice all of this made
sense until high school maybe he was
puberty but all of a sudden the
responsibilities the expectations and
the duty they weren’t enough I knew what
I had to do and why it was good that I
did those things but I never felt that
energy I didn’t make the right decisions
in fact I made all of the wrong ones I
didn’t work very hard I look for
shortcuts and I took unnecessary risks
even worse my perspective on life was an
empty one my sophomore year of high
school I was caught and one of the
biggest academic dishonesty scandals in
my school’s history and I have to report
it on my college applications later that
summer I threw a party on someone else’s
property and was arrested
I entered someone’s home without their
permission and trashed everything I was
charged with residential burglary a
felony in the state of Illinois I can
still remember getting handcuffed being
dragged out in front of my family and
being told that I would spend the next
15 years of my life in prison
you never forget moments like that one
the world around you is silent even the
sobs of your mother you see you can feel
anger or sadness and there are always
levers that you can pull to change your
state regret is cruel because there are
no levers everything already happened in
the past I remember leaving an
attorney’s office with my father and
there we sat silently in the car
I felt numb numb with regret I’ve never
seen my father cry before he’s a tough
man always shouldering pain for his
loved ones but on that day he broke down
he looked me in the eye and he said son
if I could have my way I would bear the
consequences of your actions for the
rest of my life but I won’t be able to
do that anymore
you have to grow up how did I end up
here how could I have been so stupid how
could I have been so foolish I was
raised the right way I was given the
right values rationally I knew the path
that was headed on was the wrong one so
how did I end up here it was the worst
stretch of my life but I got lucky
destiny fate privilege whatever you want
to call it toss me a bone
I had this not occurred in middle-class
suburb and I looked a little differently
maybe the outcome would have been
different but one thing was for sure I
needed to change
I ain’t it to change my outlook on life
I needed to change my direction I told
myself that I would never feel this kind
of regret ever again the best part of
this whole situation is a mainly
question it made me question where I’ve
been where I am and where I’m headed it
was precisely this sort of questioning
that I never did but
for it was always expectations
responsibilities and duties that drove
my decisions and clearly that sort of
rational decision-making wasn’t doing me
any favors
I needed to disobey disassemble the
foundations of my life and put it
together my way I knew that wouldn’t be
an easy process but maybe just maybe it
would finally be worth it that energy
that had eluded me for so long it was
time
IRA claimed it was a long period of time
in a very difficult one full of
self-doubt and full of searching but
what I found
at the end of process was worth the
sacrifice you see it was in the darkest
moments of my life that I decided how I
want to live the rest of it and
reinforced the science that I referenced
earlier I wanna share with you all what
I found the framework that I believe is
the key for us to eradicate regrets and
become the ultimate versions of
ourselves step one find your purpose
something that makes you excited to be
alive something greater than yourself
what you should figure out early in your
life isn’t what you should do this or
next year it’s what you want to do in
twenty or thirty years we’ll give your
life fulfillments in the long run what
is your life’s purpose as you understand
it now it is not going to be an easy
process we’ll take a lot of questioning
a lot of time and a lot of searching but
you owe it to yourself you see happiness
and fulfillment it isn’t just an
arithmetic equation in which you plug in
pleasures and pain you can feel
immensely happy and fulfilled while
going through unbearable pain that is
the beauty of sacrificing in the short
term for our long-term goals
my parents had more comfortable and more
pleasurable lives for themselves back in
China and education a job and matched
their education friends and family but
they chose to struggle here for
decade for a reason it’s because purpose
sustained them and don’t just take my
word for it think of people that make
great sacrifices think of martyrs think
of survivors think of individuals that
live life obsessed focused and
undeterred they see purpose isn’t always
rational but it is empowering and will
step two work backwards now that you
found your purpose contextualize what
you have to do and why you have to do it
late-night papers early morning classes
difficult exams they’re always going to
be painful there will always be tough
days at work if you approach these
things with an attitude that I have to
do them because of some responsibility
or obligation
you will surely falter because our
brains are programmed for us to fail and
such a scenario now what if those
classes and that professional
opportunity became building blocks to an
ultimate goal or stepping stones to a
future in which you justify your
existence now things can be special if
you can’t create the connection between
what you have to do and what you want to
do then you’re pursuing the wrong things
you will never be exceptional if you’re
a living life going through the motions
step 3 reflect regularly take every
morning every evening every few weeks
every few months to seriously question
or have I been where am I now
or am I headed how do I feel about all
of this as you see we face so many
pressures from other people from society
and everyone and everything wants a
piece of us but you and I we are the
most important components of our world
and it’s time that we gave ourselves the
time that we deserve this is how you
keep yourself in check and on the right
path throughout the chaos of life so
find your purpose work backwards and
reflect regularly I believe that this
framework if exercised actively is the
bridge between irrational and analytical
mind with the mind that actually makes
decisions it is going to connect what
you have and should do to you actually
doing them now I’m not claiming to be
some guru or to have achieved greatness
myself in fact far from it I still have
a lot more to learn a lot more times to
fail and hopefully a lot more to achieve
but what I found fundamentally change
the trajectory of my life and maybe it
will change yours
so ponder your past and think about your
future and be excited be excited that in
this moment in time we live in the
greatest civilization in human history
at a time or everything we know is
constantly being challenged being
changed there is no better moment than
now for you to uncover your purpose and
unleash your true potential and maybe
just maybe you’ll achieve greatness that
can inspire others thank you [Applause]
how do those that we admire accomplish
incredible things things that few others
can do we all have our idols whether
they are your day-to-day role models or
great societal figures for today’s talk
I want to break down how exceptional
people are able to do the things that
make them exceptional and even more
importantly once we understand the
Stryver how do we harness it ourselves
now many of you in this audience are
thinking greatness I just want to start
waking up for my 9:00 a.m. classes or I
just want to finally get that
professional opportunity that I’ve been
eyeing so my question to you is why
don’t you why don’t you just wake up and
go to class why don’t you just sacrifice
the time you waste on social media
Netflix or whatever your vice is and
make the sacrifices necessary for that
professional opportunity why is it that
every year we tell ourselves that we’re
going to get better grades learn this or
that skill pursue that new venture and
it never really comes into fruition sure
the spark is alive for the first two
weeks and we stick to those perfect
habits by week four we’re back at square
one
sleeping pass our classes not practicing
that new language and done working on
that next big idea clearly there is
something that separates us from the
people that we admire some sort of
invisible wall between you and I and the
person that we’ve always wanted to be
lucky for us numerous experts from an
array of fields have done years of
research to crack this conundrum in a
study of the most effective leaders of
large organizations
Jeffrey Pfeiffer a professor at Stanford
found one trait that unites this
exceptional group
together it wasn’t a high IQ it wasn’t
good people skills it wasn’t good
effective public speaking and it wasn’t
a fancy education you see it was energy
so what separates us from the people
that we admire it isn’t some hidden gift
it’s just energy now if you’re confused
I want you to close your eyes think back
to some of your greatest and most
productive moments we’ve all felt this
feeling before that clarity of mine that
laser-focused when you are able to
propel yourself to your goal everything
around you is silent and there is just
you and a clear path to what you need to
do what if instead of just feeling this
feeling the night before an exam or when
our back is against the wall
we felt it every day in every moment
then we could accomplish all that we set
out to accomplish
forget those nine a.m. classes and
forget that professional pursuits we
could change the world we could change
ourselves so what is this feeling and
why don’t we feel it more consistently
you see the results of Pfeiffer study is
actually rooted in the biology of our
brains our brain is divided into three
components one part is our Homo Sapien
brain this controls analytical and
rational thinking you want to get better
grades you have to wake up and go to
class and work harder on those exams you
want that professional opportunity you
need to make sacrifices and your
personal time to pursue it pretty simple
and purely rational we know it’s good
for us don’t we most of us can
conceptualize what we have or should do
to reach the things that we want to
reach so why don’t we actually do them
let me tell you about the other two
parts of our brain
I see the other two parts of our brain
controls our feelings things like trust
anger and something fundamental to this
puzzle decision-making you see in a
really cruel way nature has made a gap
between us deciding what’s important and
us actually doing the things necessary
to achieve it now things make sense this
is why we press snooze and our alarm
instead of waking up and going to class
even though we know it’s good for us in
the long run this is why we spend our
time on social media or waste our
weekends and debauchery with our friends
instead of pursuing that professional
opportunity it is these two parts of our
brain that holds the key for us to
accomplish all of our goals and is in
these two parts of our brain that holds
the biggest obstacle that will prevent
us from realizing any of them so now
let’s take a back step back from the
science why am I here who is this kid
and he just spent 10 minutes coming to
the conclusion that in order to be
successful I just have to do right
things and ignore the bad things first
off tickets are nonrefundable and second
of all let me tell you about why I’m so
passionate about the subject and how my
life fundamentally changed a few years
ago I want to start by setting some
context on my family background because
it’s important to my story you see my
parents are Chinese immigrants and my
family is a living example of the
American dream my parents gave up
everything to come here their friends
their families and their jobs my parents
made enormous sacrifices and we
struggled financially but we had each
other my mom waited tables during the
day so she could go to Community College
at night and my dad worked for minimum
wage at a research lab so he can improve
his technical skills but even in my
family’s deepest struggles my parents
always had a fire in their eyes as if
they knew that all of this would be
worth it
one day it didn’t make sense it wasn’t
rational no matter how you ran the
calculus a pleasure versus pain or
benefits vs. costs or odds of success
versus failure the hardship that they
put themselves through didn’t make sense
now I understood this legacy from a
young age my parents made sure that I
learned the values of hard work
sacrifice and discipline they pushed me
to work harder than my peers and I
obeyed I assumed my parents didn’t live
enjoyable lives so why should I be
absolved of sacrifice all of this made
sense until high school maybe he was
puberty but all of a sudden the
responsibilities the expectations and
the duty they weren’t enough I knew what
I had to do and why it was good that I
did those things but I never felt that
energy I didn’t make the right decisions
in fact I made all of the wrong ones I
didn’t work very hard I look for
shortcuts and I took unnecessary risks
even worse my perspective on life was an
empty one my sophomore year of high
school I was caught and one of the
biggest academic dishonesty scandals in
my school’s history and I have to report
it on my college applications later that
summer I threw a party on someone else’s
property and was arrested
I entered someone’s home without their
permission and trashed everything I was
charged with residential burglary a
felony in the state of Illinois I can
still remember getting handcuffed being
dragged out in front of my family and
being told that I would spend the next
15 years of my life in prison
you never forget moments like that one
the world around you is silent even the
sobs of your mother you see you can feel
anger or sadness and there are always
levers that you can pull to change your
state regret is cruel because there are
no levers everything already happened in
the past I remember leaving an
attorney’s office with my father and
there we sat silently in the car
I felt numb numb with regret I’ve never
seen my father cry before he’s a tough
man always shouldering pain for his
loved ones but on that day he broke down
he looked me in the eye and he said son
if I could have my way I would bear the
consequences of your actions for the
rest of my life but I won’t be able to
do that anymore
you have to grow up how did I end up
here how could I have been so stupid how
could I have been so foolish I was
raised the right way I was given the
right values rationally I knew the path
that was headed on was the wrong one so
how did I end up here it was the worst
stretch of my life but I got lucky
destiny fate privilege whatever you want
to call it toss me a bone
I had this not occurred in middle-class
suburb and I looked a little differently
maybe the outcome would have been
different but one thing was for sure I
needed to change
I ain’t it to change my outlook on life
I needed to change my direction I told
myself that I would never feel this kind
of regret ever again the best part of
this whole situation is a mainly
question it made me question where I’ve
been where I am and where I’m headed it
was precisely this sort of questioning
that I never did but
for it was always expectations
responsibilities and duties that drove
my decisions and clearly that sort of
rational decision-making wasn’t doing me
any favors
I needed to disobey disassemble the
foundations of my life and put it
together my way I knew that wouldn’t be
an easy process but maybe just maybe it
would finally be worth it that energy
that had eluded me for so long it was
time
IRA claimed it was a long period of time
in a very difficult one full of
self-doubt and full of searching but
what I found
at the end of process was worth the
sacrifice you see it was in the darkest
moments of my life that I decided how I
want to live the rest of it and
reinforced the science that I referenced
earlier I wanna share with you all what
I found the framework that I believe is
the key for us to eradicate regrets and
become the ultimate versions of
ourselves step one find your purpose
something that makes you excited to be
alive something greater than yourself
what you should figure out early in your
life isn’t what you should do this or
next year it’s what you want to do in
twenty or thirty years we’ll give your
life fulfillments in the long run what
is your life’s purpose as you understand
it now it is not going to be an easy
process we’ll take a lot of questioning
a lot of time and a lot of searching but
you owe it to yourself you see happiness
and fulfillment it isn’t just an
arithmetic equation in which you plug in
pleasures and pain you can feel
immensely happy and fulfilled while
going through unbearable pain that is
the beauty of sacrificing in the short
term for our long-term goals
my parents had more comfortable and more
pleasurable lives for themselves back in
China and education a job and matched
their education friends and family but
they chose to struggle here for
decade for a reason it’s because purpose
sustained them and don’t just take my
word for it think of people that make
great sacrifices think of martyrs think
of survivors think of individuals that
live life obsessed focused and
undeterred they see purpose isn’t always
rational but it is empowering and will
step two work backwards now that you
found your purpose contextualize what
you have to do and why you have to do it
late-night papers early morning classes
difficult exams they’re always going to
be painful there will always be tough
days at work if you approach these
things with an attitude that I have to
do them because of some responsibility
or obligation
you will surely falter because our
brains are programmed for us to fail and
such a scenario now what if those
classes and that professional
opportunity became building blocks to an
ultimate goal or stepping stones to a
future in which you justify your
existence now things can be special if
you can’t create the connection between
what you have to do and what you want to
do then you’re pursuing the wrong things
you will never be exceptional if you’re
a living life going through the motions
step 3 reflect regularly take every
morning every evening every few weeks
every few months to seriously question
or have I been where am I now
or am I headed how do I feel about all
of this as you see we face so many
pressures from other people from society
and everyone and everything wants a
piece of us but you and I we are the
most important components of our world
and it’s time that we gave ourselves the
time that we deserve this is how you
keep yourself in check and on the right
path throughout the chaos of life so
find your purpose work backwards and
reflect regularly I believe that this
framework if exercised actively is the
bridge between irrational and analytical
mind with the mind that actually makes
decisions it is going to connect what
you have and should do to you actually
doing them now I’m not claiming to be
some guru or to have achieved greatness
myself in fact far from it I still have
a lot more to learn a lot more times to
fail and hopefully a lot more to achieve
but what I found fundamentally change
the trajectory of my life and maybe it
will change yours
so ponder your past and think about your
future and be excited be excited that in
this moment in time we live in the
greatest civilization in human history
at a time or everything we know is
constantly being challenged being
changed there is no better moment than
now for you to uncover your purpose and
unleash your true potential and maybe
just maybe you’ll achieve greatness that
can inspire others thank you [Applause]
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