people make time for everything and
everyone else in their life but they
never make time for themselves if you go
up to someone who you know and say like
would you like a check for coffee let’s
let’s do coffee I’m like oh I can’t this
week but I can next week how about
Thursday 7 p.m.
perfect I’ll see you at this place when
was the last time someone is willing to
take time out of their life to spend
time with them Tom so if I wanted to get
to know you
we’ve had one dinner and a great
conversation was spending time here if I
wanted to get to know you I would have
to spend time with you we’d have to meet
up for coffee a glass of wine I really
want to get to know you maybe we meet up
once a week every Friday night we go out
for a glass of wine we chat for a couple
hours after you get to know you really
well you get to know me really well but
it requires me spending time with you so
if you want to get to know yourself you
need to spend time with yourself but in
in a way that you can inquire right so
people say to me things like I walk my
dog in the park that’s my time with
myself I’m like no it’s not that’s you
walking the dog and we’re gonna like a
heist you know they go for a jog that’s
my alone time
no that’s your jogging avoiding traffic
watching where you’re stepping so you
don’t trip and fall over spending time
with itself is sitting down closing your
eyes not interacting with the outside
world and actually going inside and
having that conversation the same
conversation I would have with you and
say like hey Brian so where where did
you grow up you know you said California
do you like to surf no hate the water
love the water tell me right and people
don’t have that conversation because
they don’t have that conversation with
themselves they don’t end up knowing
what they want in life because they
don’t know what they want in life they
can’t focus that find an amount of
energy and then they don’t live a
lifestyle that brings them happiness and
most people end up being unhappy a
couple of things I would say one is
simplify your life
everybody’s so busy everybody’s got a
lot of things to do we don’t actually
have a lot of things to do right we like
being distracted buta them we don’t have
to think about ourselves well yeah and
we we don’t have priorities in life most
people don’t have clear priorities in
life you know I for me my goal is to
simplify my life simply find a number of
people in my life and simplify the
number of things in my life we only have
a finite amount of energy each day right
but every year we have more people in
our lives is that a fair statement more
Facebook friends even more people are
you connected with but your energy stays
the same so that’s not a proportionate
growth if your energy is increasing
every year proportionately with the
number of things and people in your life
then we don’t have to talk about this
but you know energy level is the same
but the amount of people and things in
your life we’re growing almost
exponentially so whereas that doesn’t
work so for me it’s always about
simplifying first the people and things
into your life into who and what’s most
important taking that finite energy that
you have each day and focusing second
step is learning out of focus and
concentrate that finite amount of energy
into the people and things that truly
matter now you start to create a
lifestyle that you actually love because
you’re invested into people and things
that matter and the byproduct of that is
happiness
[Music]
and you said happiness is not a goal
that’s correct yes happen that’s not a
goal and if you ask most people what do
you want in life
they say all want to be happy right
would that be a fast thing I mean
literally they tooth in the US
Constitution I think to proceed of
happiness pursuit of happiness I always
say you should never pursue happiness
don’t pursue happiness pursue a
lifestyle where the byproduct of that
lifestyle is happiness so happiness
comes as a byproduct I spend time with
the people that I love what is my
by-product I’m happy I spend time with
people I don’t like I’m not happy so
don’t pursue happiness pursue a
lifestyle that gives happiness but in
order to then to pursue that lifestyle
you need to be clear what you want in
life what’s your purpose in life and
people don’t know this because they
don’t spend any time with themselves
people think that the more you meditate
the better it is so 20 minutes of
meditation is not as great as three
hours of meditation and it’s actually
not how we work for us we believed in
quality as opposed to quantity we spent
the whole day preparing to meditate what
comes before meditation concentration
concentration comes before meditation so
you need to learn how to concentrate in
order to meditate we believe that you
can’t meditate if you can’t concentrate
so we spend the whole day focusing on
concentration so when I spoke with
someone in the monastery I spoke with
another monk I gave them my undivided
attention when I worked on my laptop I
focused on working on my laptop when I
swept the sidewalk I focus on sweeping
the sidewalk so throughout the day I’m
practicing concentration now when I go
to sit down to meditate I’m really
focused and I can have a dynamic
meditation session and I always used a
simple analogy of you know take the same
bowl for example just print it right I
don’t know much about it except you want
three gold medals ashes man on from
Jamaica
I can make an assumption and tell me if
I’m wrong that his whole day is
structured that he eats the right kinds
of food and drinks the right amount of
water he goes to the gym if you look at
the boy he’s ripped right probably works
out runs every day I’m sure Sprint’s
does all kinds of things but his whole
day is preparing him for what nine point
five seven seconds or whatever it is
he’s wore right heart is not the other
way around people come up to me all the
time Brian and they say on the potty I’m
so stressed down I’ve got so much
happening in my life do you think if I
meditate for five minutes in the morning
you know oh I’ll help my whole day I’m
doing like well what are you doing the
remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes that’s
what I want to know because if you try
to meditate for five minutes the money
and the rest of the day you just live a
chaotic life that’s not yeah it’s a good
start
but it’s not really helping you it’s
like eating a carrot in the morning and
then eating hamburgers and fries all day
and hoping to have a healthy diet you
have to understand that your whole day
your lifestyle is what’s gonna support
your meditation practice of a start and
then if then your meditation practice
grows and then it turns around and
supports your lifestyle right but not
the other way around you don’t create a
meditation practice to support your
lifestyle you create a lifestyle first meditation second
everyone else in their life but they
never make time for themselves if you go
up to someone who you know and say like
would you like a check for coffee let’s
let’s do coffee I’m like oh I can’t this
week but I can next week how about
Thursday 7 p.m.
perfect I’ll see you at this place when
was the last time someone is willing to
take time out of their life to spend
time with them Tom so if I wanted to get
to know you
we’ve had one dinner and a great
conversation was spending time here if I
wanted to get to know you I would have
to spend time with you we’d have to meet
up for coffee a glass of wine I really
want to get to know you maybe we meet up
once a week every Friday night we go out
for a glass of wine we chat for a couple
hours after you get to know you really
well you get to know me really well but
it requires me spending time with you so
if you want to get to know yourself you
need to spend time with yourself but in
in a way that you can inquire right so
people say to me things like I walk my
dog in the park that’s my time with
myself I’m like no it’s not that’s you
walking the dog and we’re gonna like a
heist you know they go for a jog that’s
my alone time
no that’s your jogging avoiding traffic
watching where you’re stepping so you
don’t trip and fall over spending time
with itself is sitting down closing your
eyes not interacting with the outside
world and actually going inside and
having that conversation the same
conversation I would have with you and
say like hey Brian so where where did
you grow up you know you said California
do you like to surf no hate the water
love the water tell me right and people
don’t have that conversation because
they don’t have that conversation with
themselves they don’t end up knowing
what they want in life because they
don’t know what they want in life they
can’t focus that find an amount of
energy and then they don’t live a
lifestyle that brings them happiness and
most people end up being unhappy a
couple of things I would say one is
simplify your life
everybody’s so busy everybody’s got a
lot of things to do we don’t actually
have a lot of things to do right we like
being distracted buta them we don’t have
to think about ourselves well yeah and
we we don’t have priorities in life most
people don’t have clear priorities in
life you know I for me my goal is to
simplify my life simply find a number of
people in my life and simplify the
number of things in my life we only have
a finite amount of energy each day right
but every year we have more people in
our lives is that a fair statement more
Facebook friends even more people are
you connected with but your energy stays
the same so that’s not a proportionate
growth if your energy is increasing
every year proportionately with the
number of things and people in your life
then we don’t have to talk about this
but you know energy level is the same
but the amount of people and things in
your life we’re growing almost
exponentially so whereas that doesn’t
work so for me it’s always about
simplifying first the people and things
into your life into who and what’s most
important taking that finite energy that
you have each day and focusing second
step is learning out of focus and
concentrate that finite amount of energy
into the people and things that truly
matter now you start to create a
lifestyle that you actually love because
you’re invested into people and things
that matter and the byproduct of that is
happiness
[Music]
and you said happiness is not a goal
that’s correct yes happen that’s not a
goal and if you ask most people what do
you want in life
they say all want to be happy right
would that be a fast thing I mean
literally they tooth in the US
Constitution I think to proceed of
happiness pursuit of happiness I always
say you should never pursue happiness
don’t pursue happiness pursue a
lifestyle where the byproduct of that
lifestyle is happiness so happiness
comes as a byproduct I spend time with
the people that I love what is my
by-product I’m happy I spend time with
people I don’t like I’m not happy so
don’t pursue happiness pursue a
lifestyle that gives happiness but in
order to then to pursue that lifestyle
you need to be clear what you want in
life what’s your purpose in life and
people don’t know this because they
don’t spend any time with themselves
people think that the more you meditate
the better it is so 20 minutes of
meditation is not as great as three
hours of meditation and it’s actually
not how we work for us we believed in
quality as opposed to quantity we spent
the whole day preparing to meditate what
comes before meditation concentration
concentration comes before meditation so
you need to learn how to concentrate in
order to meditate we believe that you
can’t meditate if you can’t concentrate
so we spend the whole day focusing on
concentration so when I spoke with
someone in the monastery I spoke with
another monk I gave them my undivided
attention when I worked on my laptop I
focused on working on my laptop when I
swept the sidewalk I focus on sweeping
the sidewalk so throughout the day I’m
practicing concentration now when I go
to sit down to meditate I’m really
focused and I can have a dynamic
meditation session and I always used a
simple analogy of you know take the same
bowl for example just print it right I
don’t know much about it except you want
three gold medals ashes man on from
Jamaica
I can make an assumption and tell me if
I’m wrong that his whole day is
structured that he eats the right kinds
of food and drinks the right amount of
water he goes to the gym if you look at
the boy he’s ripped right probably works
out runs every day I’m sure Sprint’s
does all kinds of things but his whole
day is preparing him for what nine point
five seven seconds or whatever it is
he’s wore right heart is not the other
way around people come up to me all the
time Brian and they say on the potty I’m
so stressed down I’ve got so much
happening in my life do you think if I
meditate for five minutes in the morning
you know oh I’ll help my whole day I’m
doing like well what are you doing the
remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes that’s
what I want to know because if you try
to meditate for five minutes the money
and the rest of the day you just live a
chaotic life that’s not yeah it’s a good
start
but it’s not really helping you it’s
like eating a carrot in the morning and
then eating hamburgers and fries all day
and hoping to have a healthy diet you
have to understand that your whole day
your lifestyle is what’s gonna support
your meditation practice of a start and
then if then your meditation practice
grows and then it turns around and
supports your lifestyle right but not
the other way around you don’t create a
meditation practice to support your
lifestyle you create a lifestyle first meditation second
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