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The Miracle of Parenthood


this video is sponsored by Skillshare
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most of our lives are spent in
situations of numbing sterility there is
usually no option but to conform and
obey two boring rules we don’t in our
work generally create anything of
particular wonder or interest we don’t
know how to paint or place shophouse
shares or number two in b-flat minor we
can’t personally manufacture an iphone
we don’t know how to extract oil from
the ground and yet without being
conscious of the specifics we are at
points capable of doing something
properly miraculous we can make another
person we can conjure up the limbs and
organs of a fellow creature we can
create a liver we can design someone
else’s brain we can by ingesting a mixed
diet perhaps including bananas cheese
sandwiches and ginger biscuits make
fingers we can connect neurons that will
transmit thoughts about the history of
the ancient Persians or the workings of
the dishwasher we can choreograph the
birth of an organic machine that will
probably still be going close to a
hundred years from now we can be the
master coordinator and chief designer of
a product more advanced than any
technology and more complex and
interesting than the greatest work of
art having a child definitively refutes
any worry about our lack of creativity
and dismantles at least for a while the
envy we might otherwise feel about the
inventiveness of other people they may
have written a stirring song started and
sold by an engineering company or
plotted an engaging novel but we will
have created the oddest yet most
inspiring work of art and science around
one that is alive one that will develop
its own centers of happiness and secrecy
that will one day do its homework get a
job
haters forgive us end up being despite
itself a bit like us and eventually make
humans of its own that can spawn
themselves into perpetuity
however much they may resent one another
grow apart or be worn down by the
humdrum nature of family life parents
and children are never entirely able to
get past the supernatural sequence of
events that connects creators and
created because two people met 15 years
ago in a friend’s kitchen like the look
of one another
swapped phone numbers and went out for
dinner there is now across the table our
being with a particular sort of nose a
distinctive emotional temperament and a
way of smiling that as everyone remarks
unnervingly echoes that of a dead
maternal grandfather parenting
ineluctably demands that one address the
greatest founding philosophical question
what is a good life as we go about
answering this question live in our
words and actions over long years we
will at least know that we’ve been
spared the one great fear that otherwise
haunts us and usually manifests itself
around our work that of not being able
to make a difference there will not be
the remotest danger of a lacking impact
only of unwittingly exerting the wrong
kind we will as parents be the
biographers coaches teachers chefs
photographers masters and slaves of our
new charges our work will lend us the
opportunity to show our worst but also
our best selves in action it’s the
particular words we will find the touch
of our hands the encouraging look only
we will be able to give the swerve
towards lenience or the brave defensive
principles that will make a decisive
difference to the sorrows and joys of
another human being who we are every day
the specific individuals we will have
matured into will have an unparalleled
power to exert a beneficial influence on
somebody else’s life we will in our role
as parents be terrified exhausted
resentful enchanted but forever spared
any lingering doubt as to our
significance for role
on this earth we partnered with
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starting point for anyone also looking
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