[Music]
so yeah I guess I’m quite a good
listener and you know I’d listen to you
I put up with your sister which is
I think I’m very resilient I don’t
complain I do feel that you know the
situation is quite stressful that you
tend to kind of shut down and you know I
think I’m really able to kind of look
after you in that situation you know to
make to make it okay for you I like
doing that but um I do think it is
something that maybe could be like
better acknowledged I guess I tend to
shut down which can be quite alarming
some people because I just get really
silent and really quiet but actually I’d
say what I’m doing is kind of stepping
back and just thinking about my reaction
because I don’t want to be too rash you
know I don’t really cope very well with
stress I do tend to panic but it’s just
a case of overtime of maturing and
realizing that’s how I react
I just feel much better when you’re
panicking inside as terrifying as that
sounds
[Music]
I do know that I can be quite like bossy
maybe like to the point of being quite
controlling and I could in our
relationship I don’t know I’m not saying
that it excuses it but I do think that
after Dad died it was just it felt like
everything kind of shattered and the
sense of family somehow disintegrated
and there was this sense that like mom
just got to know like she couldn’t
really hold it together and as the
oldest it felt like it was kind of
really on my shoulders to you know keep
everyone safe and to kind of almost be a
bit of a mother I do feel that maybe
there is a sense I kind of I carry that
getting used to basically up sticks and
leave Bristol because my new job and I
still feel really guilty about you know
essentially forcing you to leave
everything behind as far as I remember I
don’t think I really even asked you I
mean I was just kind of looking at
places and but I think in the back of my
mind at the time I was thinking it I
from me towards you probably allow this
but deep down like it’s kind of worried
that you wouldn’t be up for it which is
obviously really selfish of me but I
just realized I can
there’s no I could do without you see I
I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me
I think what I actually end up finding
really difficult and challenging is when
suddenly we go from our kind of private
sphere into the public one say I don’t
know with friends or family and it feels
as if the dynamic is suddenly really
different if I’m being I don’t know
maybe too uptight or something it seems
as if you want to make fun of that and
undermine me and I can find that quite
humiliating
because I said like when we’re together
in public it’s no I feel like I’m your
child like you’re my mother and you’ve
brought me along and you’re kind of
annoying that I’m there and I just feel
and so I guess to kind of gain some kind
of superiority or some kind of ground I
end up try and you know be a bit laggy
and making fun of you and so I guess if
we should have that kind of mutual
respect
when round bubbly then maybe that would
kind of help when you’re really there
and we really talk
I feel so truly understood that’s so
important and I’ve never felt that with
anyone else I know that I can be a
little bit rigid and maybe like without
your sense of humor and fun I think my
life would be a lot less colorful I’m
quite naturally a very chaotic person
and you bring me a lot of structure and
I can also be very selfish and I mean of
all the people I know you’ll probably
the most where you are the most selfless
sometimes when I feel myself being
selfish I think what would you be
thinking how would you react I do look
to you every day as a kind of example of
how to be and if I didn’t have that I
don’t really know I don’t know how I
coped before so I guess was there I
can’t imagine
my life without you and if you want it
hasn’t really think that
[Music]
at the School of Life we believe in
developing emotional intelligence to
that end we’ve also created a whole
range of products to support that growth
find out more at the link on the screen now
so yeah I guess I’m quite a good
listener and you know I’d listen to you
I put up with your sister which is
I think I’m very resilient I don’t
complain I do feel that you know the
situation is quite stressful that you
tend to kind of shut down and you know I
think I’m really able to kind of look
after you in that situation you know to
make to make it okay for you I like
doing that but um I do think it is
something that maybe could be like
better acknowledged I guess I tend to
shut down which can be quite alarming
some people because I just get really
silent and really quiet but actually I’d
say what I’m doing is kind of stepping
back and just thinking about my reaction
because I don’t want to be too rash you
know I don’t really cope very well with
stress I do tend to panic but it’s just
a case of overtime of maturing and
realizing that’s how I react
I just feel much better when you’re
panicking inside as terrifying as that
sounds
[Music]
I do know that I can be quite like bossy
maybe like to the point of being quite
controlling and I could in our
relationship I don’t know I’m not saying
that it excuses it but I do think that
after Dad died it was just it felt like
everything kind of shattered and the
sense of family somehow disintegrated
and there was this sense that like mom
just got to know like she couldn’t
really hold it together and as the
oldest it felt like it was kind of
really on my shoulders to you know keep
everyone safe and to kind of almost be a
bit of a mother I do feel that maybe
there is a sense I kind of I carry that
getting used to basically up sticks and
leave Bristol because my new job and I
still feel really guilty about you know
essentially forcing you to leave
everything behind as far as I remember I
don’t think I really even asked you I
mean I was just kind of looking at
places and but I think in the back of my
mind at the time I was thinking it I
from me towards you probably allow this
but deep down like it’s kind of worried
that you wouldn’t be up for it which is
obviously really selfish of me but I
just realized I can
there’s no I could do without you see I
I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me
I think what I actually end up finding
really difficult and challenging is when
suddenly we go from our kind of private
sphere into the public one say I don’t
know with friends or family and it feels
as if the dynamic is suddenly really
different if I’m being I don’t know
maybe too uptight or something it seems
as if you want to make fun of that and
undermine me and I can find that quite
humiliating
because I said like when we’re together
in public it’s no I feel like I’m your
child like you’re my mother and you’ve
brought me along and you’re kind of
annoying that I’m there and I just feel
and so I guess to kind of gain some kind
of superiority or some kind of ground I
end up try and you know be a bit laggy
and making fun of you and so I guess if
we should have that kind of mutual
respect
when round bubbly then maybe that would
kind of help when you’re really there
and we really talk
I feel so truly understood that’s so
important and I’ve never felt that with
anyone else I know that I can be a
little bit rigid and maybe like without
your sense of humor and fun I think my
life would be a lot less colorful I’m
quite naturally a very chaotic person
and you bring me a lot of structure and
I can also be very selfish and I mean of
all the people I know you’ll probably
the most where you are the most selfless
sometimes when I feel myself being
selfish I think what would you be
thinking how would you react I do look
to you every day as a kind of example of
how to be and if I didn’t have that I
don’t really know I don’t know how I
coped before so I guess was there I
can’t imagine
my life without you and if you want it
hasn’t really think that
[Music]
at the School of Life we believe in
developing emotional intelligence to
that end we’ve also created a whole
range of products to support that growth
find out more at the link on the screen now
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