no one intends for this to happen of
course but somewhere in our childhood
our trajectory towards emotional
maturity will almost certainly be
impeded even if we are sensitively cared
for and lovingly handled we can be
counted upon not to pass through our
young years without sustaining some kind
of deep psychological injury what we can
term a primal wound childhood opens us
up to emotional damage in part because
unlike all other living things Homo
sapiens has an inordinately long and
structurally claustrophobic pupilage a
foal is standing up 30 minutes after
it’s born a human will by the age of 18
have spent around 25,000 hours in the
company of its parents a female group
her mother will unsentimental e dump up
to a hundred million eggs a year in the
sandy banks of the North Atlantic
seaboard and never see a single one of
her offspring again even the blue whale
the largest animal on the planet is
sexually mature and independent by the
age of five but for our part we did er
and linger it can be a year till we take
our first steps and two before we can
speak in a whole sentence it’s close to
two decades before we categorized as
adults and in the meantime we are at the
mercy of that highly peculiar and
distorting institution we call home and
it’s even more distinctive Overseers
hot parents across the long summers and
winters of childhood we are intimately
shaped by the ways of the big people
around us we come to know their favorite
expressions their habits how they
respond when they’re late or the way
they address us when they’re crossed we
know exactly the atmosphere of home on a
bright July morning and in the afternoon
downpours of mid-april we memorize the
textures of the carpets and the smells
of the clothes cupboards in middle-age
we can still recall the taste of a
particular biscuit we liked after school
and know intimately the tiny sounds a
parent makes as they concentrate on an
article in the newspaper during are
elongated gestation we are at first in a
physical sense completely at the mercy
of our care
cos we are so frail we could be tripped
up by a twig the family cat is like a
tiger
we need help crossing the road putting
on our coat writing our name but our
vulnerability is as much emotional we
can’t begin to understand our strange
circumstances who we are where our
feelings come from why we’re sad or
furious how our parents fit into the
wider scheme and why they behave as they
do we necessarily take what the big
people around us say as an inviolable
truth we can’t help but exaggerate our
parents role on a planet we’re condemned
to be enmeshed in their attitudes
ambitions fears and inclinations our
upbringing is fundamentally always
particular and peculiar being children
we can brush very little of it off we
are without a skin if a parent shouts at
us the foundations of the earth crumble
we can’t tell that some of the harsh
words weren’t perhaps entirely meant or
had their origins in a tricky day at
work or are the reverberations of the
adults own childhood it simply feels as
if an all-powerful all-knowing giant has
decided for certain good as yet unknown
reasons that we are to be annihilated
nor can we understand when a parent goes
away for the weekend or relocates to
another country that they didn’t leave
us because we did something wrong or
because we’re unworthy of their love but
because even adults are always in
control of their own destinies if
parents are in the kitchen raising their
voices it can seem as though these two
people must one another in ordinate Lee
the altercation the children over here
there was maybe a slam door and several
swear words it can felt catastrophic as
though everything safe is about to
disintegrate there’s no evidence
anywhere within the child’s grasp that
arguments are a normal part of
relationships and that a couple may be
entirely committed to a lifelong union
and at the same time forcefully express
a wish that the other might go to hell
children are equally helpless before the
distinctive theories of the parents they
can’t understand that an insistence that
they not mix with another family from
school or that they follow a particular
dress
to worry as much as they do about dirt
or being late represent a very partial
understanding of priorities children
don’t have a job they can’t go elsewhere
they have no extended social network
even at its best childhood is an open
prison as a result of the peculiarities
of these early years we get distorted
things within us start to grow in odd
directions we find we can’t easily trust
we’ll need to keep cleaning the room or
get unusually scared around people who
raise their voices no one needs to do
anything particularly shocking illegal
sinister wicked to us for very serious
distortions to unfold the causes of our
primal wound are rarely outwardly
dramatic but its effect is rarely
anything short of momentous a lasting
such is the fragility of childhood
nothing outwardly appalling need have
happened to us for us to wind up in with
luck profoundly scrambled we know the
point well enough from tragedy in the
tragic tales of the ancient Greeks it’s
not enormous errors and slips that
unleash drama it’s the tiniest most
innocent errors from seemingly minor
starting points terrible consequences
unfurl our emotional lives are similarly
tragic in structure everyone around us
may have been trying to do their best to
us as children and yet we’ve ended up
now as adults nursing certain major
hurts but continue to make us so much
less than we might be lastly and most
poignant Lee it’s a feature of the
imbalances that stem from childhood
wounds that they don’t cleanly reveal
their origins either to our own minds or
consequently to the world at large we
aren’t really sure why we run away so
much or why we so often get angry have a
proud haughty air or keep underachieving
or cling excessively to the people we
love we simply assume this is the way we
are and we’re assessed accordingly
because the sources of our ailments
escape us they don’t feature in the
explanations for why people are as they
are and we miss out on a vital source of
sympathy our problems begin with a wound
if it were known an adequately explained
would naturally elicit tender
understanding but because the
consequences it breeds tend to be so
much less appealing and explanations are
lacking we are left open to disdain
sarcasm and our own self-hatred a wound
may have begun with a feeling of
invisibility but now it looks as if
we’re just show-offs maybe it began with
being let down but now we simply come
across as crazily controlling perhaps it
started with a bullying competitive
father now it seems as if we are simply
spineless we make our lives tougher than
they should be because we insist on
thinking of people ourselves and others
as evil and mean rather than as is
almost invariably the case primarily the
victims of what we have all in some ways
gone through an extremely tricky early
history we hope you enjoyed this film if
you want to learn more about
self-knowledge follow the link on your screen now
course but somewhere in our childhood
our trajectory towards emotional
maturity will almost certainly be
impeded even if we are sensitively cared
for and lovingly handled we can be
counted upon not to pass through our
young years without sustaining some kind
of deep psychological injury what we can
term a primal wound childhood opens us
up to emotional damage in part because
unlike all other living things Homo
sapiens has an inordinately long and
structurally claustrophobic pupilage a
foal is standing up 30 minutes after
it’s born a human will by the age of 18
have spent around 25,000 hours in the
company of its parents a female group
her mother will unsentimental e dump up
to a hundred million eggs a year in the
sandy banks of the North Atlantic
seaboard and never see a single one of
her offspring again even the blue whale
the largest animal on the planet is
sexually mature and independent by the
age of five but for our part we did er
and linger it can be a year till we take
our first steps and two before we can
speak in a whole sentence it’s close to
two decades before we categorized as
adults and in the meantime we are at the
mercy of that highly peculiar and
distorting institution we call home and
it’s even more distinctive Overseers
hot parents across the long summers and
winters of childhood we are intimately
shaped by the ways of the big people
around us we come to know their favorite
expressions their habits how they
respond when they’re late or the way
they address us when they’re crossed we
know exactly the atmosphere of home on a
bright July morning and in the afternoon
downpours of mid-april we memorize the
textures of the carpets and the smells
of the clothes cupboards in middle-age
we can still recall the taste of a
particular biscuit we liked after school
and know intimately the tiny sounds a
parent makes as they concentrate on an
article in the newspaper during are
elongated gestation we are at first in a
physical sense completely at the mercy
of our care
cos we are so frail we could be tripped
up by a twig the family cat is like a
tiger
we need help crossing the road putting
on our coat writing our name but our
vulnerability is as much emotional we
can’t begin to understand our strange
circumstances who we are where our
feelings come from why we’re sad or
furious how our parents fit into the
wider scheme and why they behave as they
do we necessarily take what the big
people around us say as an inviolable
truth we can’t help but exaggerate our
parents role on a planet we’re condemned
to be enmeshed in their attitudes
ambitions fears and inclinations our
upbringing is fundamentally always
particular and peculiar being children
we can brush very little of it off we
are without a skin if a parent shouts at
us the foundations of the earth crumble
we can’t tell that some of the harsh
words weren’t perhaps entirely meant or
had their origins in a tricky day at
work or are the reverberations of the
adults own childhood it simply feels as
if an all-powerful all-knowing giant has
decided for certain good as yet unknown
reasons that we are to be annihilated
nor can we understand when a parent goes
away for the weekend or relocates to
another country that they didn’t leave
us because we did something wrong or
because we’re unworthy of their love but
because even adults are always in
control of their own destinies if
parents are in the kitchen raising their
voices it can seem as though these two
people must one another in ordinate Lee
the altercation the children over here
there was maybe a slam door and several
swear words it can felt catastrophic as
though everything safe is about to
disintegrate there’s no evidence
anywhere within the child’s grasp that
arguments are a normal part of
relationships and that a couple may be
entirely committed to a lifelong union
and at the same time forcefully express
a wish that the other might go to hell
children are equally helpless before the
distinctive theories of the parents they
can’t understand that an insistence that
they not mix with another family from
school or that they follow a particular
dress
to worry as much as they do about dirt
or being late represent a very partial
understanding of priorities children
don’t have a job they can’t go elsewhere
they have no extended social network
even at its best childhood is an open
prison as a result of the peculiarities
of these early years we get distorted
things within us start to grow in odd
directions we find we can’t easily trust
we’ll need to keep cleaning the room or
get unusually scared around people who
raise their voices no one needs to do
anything particularly shocking illegal
sinister wicked to us for very serious
distortions to unfold the causes of our
primal wound are rarely outwardly
dramatic but its effect is rarely
anything short of momentous a lasting
such is the fragility of childhood
nothing outwardly appalling need have
happened to us for us to wind up in with
luck profoundly scrambled we know the
point well enough from tragedy in the
tragic tales of the ancient Greeks it’s
not enormous errors and slips that
unleash drama it’s the tiniest most
innocent errors from seemingly minor
starting points terrible consequences
unfurl our emotional lives are similarly
tragic in structure everyone around us
may have been trying to do their best to
us as children and yet we’ve ended up
now as adults nursing certain major
hurts but continue to make us so much
less than we might be lastly and most
poignant Lee it’s a feature of the
imbalances that stem from childhood
wounds that they don’t cleanly reveal
their origins either to our own minds or
consequently to the world at large we
aren’t really sure why we run away so
much or why we so often get angry have a
proud haughty air or keep underachieving
or cling excessively to the people we
love we simply assume this is the way we
are and we’re assessed accordingly
because the sources of our ailments
escape us they don’t feature in the
explanations for why people are as they
are and we miss out on a vital source of
sympathy our problems begin with a wound
if it were known an adequately explained
would naturally elicit tender
understanding but because the
consequences it breeds tend to be so
much less appealing and explanations are
lacking we are left open to disdain
sarcasm and our own self-hatred a wound
may have begun with a feeling of
invisibility but now it looks as if
we’re just show-offs maybe it began with
being let down but now we simply come
across as crazily controlling perhaps it
started with a bullying competitive
father now it seems as if we are simply
spineless we make our lives tougher than
they should be because we insist on
thinking of people ourselves and others
as evil and mean rather than as is
almost invariably the case primarily the
victims of what we have all in some ways
gone through an extremely tricky early
history we hope you enjoyed this film if
you want to learn more about
self-knowledge follow the link on your screen now
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