Gaboon Adder vs. Rat | National Geographic

so you want to be a gaboon adder well
first of all you’ll have to move to the
rain forest in the equatorial belt of
tropical Africa you are thick six foot
long body will sport beautiful geometric
patterns perfect for blending in on the
forest floor and as you age you’ll grow
a pair of decorative horn like scales
from your snout you’re a passive hunter
able to sit perfectly still until your
next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat
brings you to full alert your prey
spends its last moments blissfully
unaware of your presence
you’re efficient accurate and deadly
your victim makes a run for it but it
doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a
match for the likes of a gaboon adder
like yourself
all you have to do is follow the scent
trail of your mortally wounded brain
you wait until your meal is completely
inert I mean what’s the point of getting
bitten for nothing your venom has
already started the eating process by
jesting morass tissues from the inside
out now here’s where you stand out in
the pantheon of snake de as you ingest
your booty you reveal the most
impressive bags of any snake in the
world 2 inches long and capable of
flicking open like switchblades to draw
the rat into your body like a lot of
your serpentine counterparts you unhinge
your jaw so you can swallow the rat in
one gigantic gulp you inject massive
amounts of venom more than any other
snake alive and enough to kill a human
but you rarely do that swallowing a rat
is one thing but a human too huh
heartburn City nope you’ll stick with
rats mmm the tail the best part