monogamy that that’s a culturally
expected even required conduct of you
know it’s how it’s how we view
relationships
yeah and over the last sixty years okay
so now get me never applied to men until
about sixty years oh so they were never
akan Cubans men had access to sex
workers men had multiple wives monogamy
was built to imprison women to reassure
men about with their you know to address
males paternal insecurities you knew for
sure it was hurt baby
you never could know for sure it was
your baby this is what accounts for the
Jewish lineage unless she was locked up
the only Jewish if you give not one of
the Jewish mother because you know who
the mother is you never know who the
father is right so it wasn’t until in
the twentieth century to go from this
gendered institution in this property
transaction where the husband was
granted the gift of the daughter that in
that trick became the wife with the
dowry right included and so marriage
became the the equal sort of union of
two autonomous individuals and
expectations changed that the same
standards had to apply to both Farris
and yeah and then monogamy instead of
extending to women the same license that
men had always enjoyed the same latitude
around monogamy we imposed on men the
same restrictions that women had always
endured and it’s been a disaster for
marriage nothing correlates more
strongly with the rise of divorce than
imposing the monogamous model on men so
what should happen going forward
monogamous relationship ish monogamous
there are people who are anonymous
relationships now but who won’t admit it
because of the stigma you know people
say and I often hear this from my
straight readers no there’s no open
relationship lasts and the my response
is always because you only hear about
them when they failed that there are
people in successful non-monogamous
relationships that you know you just
don’t know you know them it’s not quite
a selection effect yes very hard to
compensate if two people stood a
straight couple who are not monogamous
because they’re swinging or having
threeways or somebody cheated if they
divorce everybody finds out about the
non-monogamy and blames it whether you
sometimes even if
irrelevant but a straight couple who are
able to stay together because they’re
not monogamous nobody ever hears about
it and nobody gives it any credit that
there are couples who are together today
still not despite the fact that they’re
in an open relationship but because
they’re in an open relationship
and when non-monogamy saves a
relationship it gets no credit when
non-monogamy destroys one
it’s a headlines its headlines
expected even required conduct of you
know it’s how it’s how we view
relationships
yeah and over the last sixty years okay
so now get me never applied to men until
about sixty years oh so they were never
akan Cubans men had access to sex
workers men had multiple wives monogamy
was built to imprison women to reassure
men about with their you know to address
males paternal insecurities you knew for
sure it was hurt baby
you never could know for sure it was
your baby this is what accounts for the
Jewish lineage unless she was locked up
the only Jewish if you give not one of
the Jewish mother because you know who
the mother is you never know who the
father is right so it wasn’t until in
the twentieth century to go from this
gendered institution in this property
transaction where the husband was
granted the gift of the daughter that in
that trick became the wife with the
dowry right included and so marriage
became the the equal sort of union of
two autonomous individuals and
expectations changed that the same
standards had to apply to both Farris
and yeah and then monogamy instead of
extending to women the same license that
men had always enjoyed the same latitude
around monogamy we imposed on men the
same restrictions that women had always
endured and it’s been a disaster for
marriage nothing correlates more
strongly with the rise of divorce than
imposing the monogamous model on men so
what should happen going forward
monogamous relationship ish monogamous
there are people who are anonymous
relationships now but who won’t admit it
because of the stigma you know people
say and I often hear this from my
straight readers no there’s no open
relationship lasts and the my response
is always because you only hear about
them when they failed that there are
people in successful non-monogamous
relationships that you know you just
don’t know you know them it’s not quite
a selection effect yes very hard to
compensate if two people stood a
straight couple who are not monogamous
because they’re swinging or having
threeways or somebody cheated if they
divorce everybody finds out about the
non-monogamy and blames it whether you
sometimes even if
irrelevant but a straight couple who are
able to stay together because they’re
not monogamous nobody ever hears about
it and nobody gives it any credit that
there are couples who are together today
still not despite the fact that they’re
in an open relationship but because
they’re in an open relationship
and when non-monogamy saves a
relationship it gets no credit when
non-monogamy destroys one
it’s a headlines its headlines
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