Bedbugs! | National Geographic

remember your mother tucking you in bed
and saying don’t let the bedbugs bite
before she turned off your night light
you probably thought she was kidding how
she wasn’t kidding it’s just before dawn
you’re in the deepest sleep you’ll be in
all night and the bedbugs are ready to
strike bedbugs once lived in caves and
sucked the blood of bats and your
prehistoric ancestors but we left our
caves so did they they sneak in through
the tiniest cracks the most miniscule
openings they even come in through an
outlet they know where you are because
they can sense the carbon dioxide you
exhale you’ve got something they want
blood
when they get within sucking distance
they use heat sensors on their antennae
to find the juiciest place to drill for
plasma and expose limb is like a
flashing neon sign for a free all you
can suck buffet if nobody does anything
thousands of them can infest a single
bedroom like a safecracker opening a
vault the bedbug finds the perfect spot
to hit the blood bank bedbugs have to
drink blood to stay alive and breathe
and mother nature is on the side of the
bed bug the bug administers an
anesthetic so you don’t wake up as well
as an anticoagulant so your vital life
essence will gush freely from your veins
and here’s a cherry fact a bedbug can
drink three times its weight in a single
meal talk about your big gulp here’s
something else to brighten your day if
you’ve got a serious infestation you
might get bitten 500 times in a single
night you might get an email unlike the
bedbug
all done see you tomorrow sucker no I
guess it’s the sucker you are the sucky