after listening to this you will never
look at life the same again anyone who
has ever taken an economics class has
heard the phrase there is no such thing
as a free lunch it means that everything
has a cost even if that cost is not
always immediately apparent to achieve
anything you must give up something else
in today’s happiness obsessed culture
most pursue just the opposite happiness
with no costs all benefits we want the
rewards without the risks the gain
without the pain but ironically it is
this unwillingness to sacrifice anything
to give up anything that makes us more
miserable as with anything else
happiness has costs it’s not free and
despite what covergirl or Tony Robbins
or the Dalai Lama once told you it’s not
always easy breezy either number one you
must accept imperfection and flaws many
people believe that if they just collect
a house a spouse a car and 2.5 children
everything will be perfect life has a
checklist problems don’t go away
and the quicker we accept that the point
of life is progress and not perfection
the sooner we can all order a pizza and
go home
perfection is in idolization it’s
something that is approached but never
reached
whatever your conception of perfect is
in your pretty little head it is in
itself an imperfect concept there is no
perfect there is only what you wish in
your head we don’t get to decide what
perfection is we don’t know all we can
know is what is better or worse than
what is now and even then we’re often
wrong when we let go of our concept of
what is perfect and what should be we
relieve ourselves of the stress and
frustration of living up to some
arbitrary standard and usually this
standard isn’t even ours
it’s a standard we adopted from other
people accepting imperfection is hard
[Music]
because it forces us to accept that we
have to live with things we don’t like
[Music]
number two you must take responsibility
for your problems blaming the world for
our problems is the easy way out
it’s tempting and it can even be
satisfying we’re the victims and we get
to be all emo and indignant at all the
terrible and justices that have just
been inflicted upon us we wallow in our
imagined victimhood so as to make
ourselves feel unique and special in
ways we never get to feel unique and
special anywhere else but our problems
are not unique and in ourselves we are
not all that special the beauty of
accepting the imperfection of your own
knowledge is that you can no longer be
certain that you’re not to blame for
your own problems
are you really late because of traffic
or could you have left earlier is it
really the incompetence of your manager
that lost you your promotion or was
there something more you could have done
the truth is usually somewhere around
both although it varies from situation
the point is that you can only fix your
own imperfections and not the
imperfections of others so you may as
well get to work on them blaming others
for the problems in your life may give
you a smidgen of short-term relief but
ultimately it implies something entirely
insidious that you are incapable of
controlling your own fate and that’s the
most depressing assumption of all to
live with number three you must feel the
fear and do it anyway bravery is not the
absence of fear bravery is feeling the
fear the doubt the insecurity and
deciding that something else is more
important if we identify with our
moment-to-moment
emotional states and sensitivities our
our happiness will surge and crash like
a deregulated Wall Street derivatives
orgy for those of you who don’t know
anything about Wall Street that’s really
bad we want sturdy resilient happiness
not derivatives orgies true long-lasting
kid-tested and mother-approved happiness
is not derived from our immediate
emotional states being constantly greedy
is not only impossible but it would be
unbearably annoying but rather is
derived from the deeper values we define
for ourselves our ultimate life
satisfaction is not defined by what we
do and what happens to us but why we do
what we do and why it happens to us
number four you must find a deeper
purpose to your actions a better way of
saying this is you must choose what is
motivating you
is it something superficial or external
or something deeper and more meaningful
being motivated by money for the sake of
money leads to unstable emotional
regulation and a lot of obnoxious and
superficial behavior being motivated by
money so that one can provide a good
life for their family and children is a
much sturdier foundation to work with
that deeper purpose will motivate one
through the stress and fear and
inevitable complications that a more
superficial motivation would not being
motivated by the approval of others
leads to needy and unattractive behavior
being motivated by the approval of
others because you’re an artist and you
would want to construct art that moves
and inspires people in new and powerful
ways is far more sustainable and noble
you’ll be able to work through
disapproval embarrassments and the
occasional disaster how does one find
their deeper purpose well it’s not easy
but then again robust and resilient
lifelong happiness isn’t easy either but
here’s a hint it has something to do
with growth and contribution growth
means finding a way to make yourself a
better person contribution means finding
a way to make other people better look
for ways that can integrate those into
your motivations there’s nothing wrong
with sex money and rock and roll hey
preaching to the choir here but the sex
needs to be motivated by something
deeper than sex the money needs to be
motivated by a value more sustainable
than simply money and the rock and roll
needs to just rock
find a way to slide growth and/or
contribution under them and bam
you get the best of both worlds number
five you must be willing to fail and be
embarrassed the beautiful thing about
humanity is the diversity of life values
when you live out your values and let
them motivate your actions and behaviors
you will inevitably clash with those
whose values contradict your own these
people will not like you they will leave
nasty anonymous comments on the internet
and make inappropriate remarks about
your mother anything you do that’s
important will inevitably be accompanied
by those who wish for you to fail not
necessarily because they’re bad people
but most likely because their values
differ from yours haters gonna hate in
any venture failure is required to make
progress and progress by definition is
what drives happiness the progress of
ourselves the progress of others the
progress of our values and what we care
about without failure there is no
progress and without progress there is
not happiness
[Music]
the most important skill in life is not
how you avoid getting knocked down but
rather learning how to stand back up haters gonna hate
look at life the same again anyone who
has ever taken an economics class has
heard the phrase there is no such thing
as a free lunch it means that everything
has a cost even if that cost is not
always immediately apparent to achieve
anything you must give up something else
in today’s happiness obsessed culture
most pursue just the opposite happiness
with no costs all benefits we want the
rewards without the risks the gain
without the pain but ironically it is
this unwillingness to sacrifice anything
to give up anything that makes us more
miserable as with anything else
happiness has costs it’s not free and
despite what covergirl or Tony Robbins
or the Dalai Lama once told you it’s not
always easy breezy either number one you
must accept imperfection and flaws many
people believe that if they just collect
a house a spouse a car and 2.5 children
everything will be perfect life has a
checklist problems don’t go away
and the quicker we accept that the point
of life is progress and not perfection
the sooner we can all order a pizza and
go home
perfection is in idolization it’s
something that is approached but never
reached
whatever your conception of perfect is
in your pretty little head it is in
itself an imperfect concept there is no
perfect there is only what you wish in
your head we don’t get to decide what
perfection is we don’t know all we can
know is what is better or worse than
what is now and even then we’re often
wrong when we let go of our concept of
what is perfect and what should be we
relieve ourselves of the stress and
frustration of living up to some
arbitrary standard and usually this
standard isn’t even ours
it’s a standard we adopted from other
people accepting imperfection is hard
[Music]
because it forces us to accept that we
have to live with things we don’t like
[Music]
number two you must take responsibility
for your problems blaming the world for
our problems is the easy way out
it’s tempting and it can even be
satisfying we’re the victims and we get
to be all emo and indignant at all the
terrible and justices that have just
been inflicted upon us we wallow in our
imagined victimhood so as to make
ourselves feel unique and special in
ways we never get to feel unique and
special anywhere else but our problems
are not unique and in ourselves we are
not all that special the beauty of
accepting the imperfection of your own
knowledge is that you can no longer be
certain that you’re not to blame for
your own problems
are you really late because of traffic
or could you have left earlier is it
really the incompetence of your manager
that lost you your promotion or was
there something more you could have done
the truth is usually somewhere around
both although it varies from situation
the point is that you can only fix your
own imperfections and not the
imperfections of others so you may as
well get to work on them blaming others
for the problems in your life may give
you a smidgen of short-term relief but
ultimately it implies something entirely
insidious that you are incapable of
controlling your own fate and that’s the
most depressing assumption of all to
live with number three you must feel the
fear and do it anyway bravery is not the
absence of fear bravery is feeling the
fear the doubt the insecurity and
deciding that something else is more
important if we identify with our
moment-to-moment
emotional states and sensitivities our
our happiness will surge and crash like
a deregulated Wall Street derivatives
orgy for those of you who don’t know
anything about Wall Street that’s really
bad we want sturdy resilient happiness
not derivatives orgies true long-lasting
kid-tested and mother-approved happiness
is not derived from our immediate
emotional states being constantly greedy
is not only impossible but it would be
unbearably annoying but rather is
derived from the deeper values we define
for ourselves our ultimate life
satisfaction is not defined by what we
do and what happens to us but why we do
what we do and why it happens to us
number four you must find a deeper
purpose to your actions a better way of
saying this is you must choose what is
motivating you
is it something superficial or external
or something deeper and more meaningful
being motivated by money for the sake of
money leads to unstable emotional
regulation and a lot of obnoxious and
superficial behavior being motivated by
money so that one can provide a good
life for their family and children is a
much sturdier foundation to work with
that deeper purpose will motivate one
through the stress and fear and
inevitable complications that a more
superficial motivation would not being
motivated by the approval of others
leads to needy and unattractive behavior
being motivated by the approval of
others because you’re an artist and you
would want to construct art that moves
and inspires people in new and powerful
ways is far more sustainable and noble
you’ll be able to work through
disapproval embarrassments and the
occasional disaster how does one find
their deeper purpose well it’s not easy
but then again robust and resilient
lifelong happiness isn’t easy either but
here’s a hint it has something to do
with growth and contribution growth
means finding a way to make yourself a
better person contribution means finding
a way to make other people better look
for ways that can integrate those into
your motivations there’s nothing wrong
with sex money and rock and roll hey
preaching to the choir here but the sex
needs to be motivated by something
deeper than sex the money needs to be
motivated by a value more sustainable
than simply money and the rock and roll
needs to just rock
find a way to slide growth and/or
contribution under them and bam
you get the best of both worlds number
five you must be willing to fail and be
embarrassed the beautiful thing about
humanity is the diversity of life values
when you live out your values and let
them motivate your actions and behaviors
you will inevitably clash with those
whose values contradict your own these
people will not like you they will leave
nasty anonymous comments on the internet
and make inappropriate remarks about
your mother anything you do that’s
important will inevitably be accompanied
by those who wish for you to fail not
necessarily because they’re bad people
but most likely because their values
differ from yours haters gonna hate in
any venture failure is required to make
progress and progress by definition is
what drives happiness the progress of
ourselves the progress of others the
progress of our values and what we care
about without failure there is no
progress and without progress there is
not happiness
[Music]
the most important skill in life is not
how you avoid getting knocked down but
rather learning how to stand back up haters gonna hate
Please follow and like us: