I’ve always been left-handed right
brained and very visual about everything
in my life and I remember it was I have
an older brother and a younger sister
and when my mom was when my brother was
off to school I was about 4 you know
five years where I hadn’t gone to
kindergarten yet I used to just sit and
draw all day long and it was something
where I remember being inside of a
painting or a picture or a drawing and
time would stop I would be there for
almost I I remember starting a pen
drawing or whatever and it would turn in
tonight it would be eight hours have
gone by and it felt like literally 20
minutes and I got better and better and
and but but this is a deal to is that I
was always always disappointed as an
artist is because it never looked the
way I wanted it to look so every drawing
every painting became this effort to
make what was in my head match what was
on the paper and I’m still doing that I
mean in regards to performances in
regards to drawing in regards to my
furniture in regards to all the things
that I’ve ever tried to do it’s still
not as good as it is in my head and
that’s crazy it is it’s weird but I
think my whole life has been trying to
match up with this thing in this vision
that I have in my head and I don’t think
I’ll ever get there but it’s fun to try
so after spending seven years studying
the world’s most successful people I
realized while on the surface you know
Maya Angelou and Steve Wozniak might be
completely different at the core their
stories are the exact same and there’s
almost this common melody to it and the
analogy that came to me is that they
treat life business and success
just like a nightclub there’s always
three ways in there’s the first door
where 99% of people wait in line hoping
to get in that’s where the line curves
are on the block right and then there’s
the second or the VIP entrance or the
billionaires and the celebrities go
through and school has this way of
making you feel like those are the only
two ways in right your other weights
your turn where you’re born into it but
what I’ve learned and what you know is
that there’s always always the third
door and it’s the entrance where you
jump out of line run down the alley bang
on the door hundred times crack up with
a window go through the kitchen there’s
always a way in and it doesn’t matter if
that’s how Bill Gates willed his first
piece of software or how Lady Gaga got
her first record deal they all took a
third door
I don’t think operating over many
disciplines as I do is a good idea for
most people I think it’s fun that’s why
I have done it and and I’m better at it
than most people would be I don’t think
I’m good at being the very best
attending differential equations so it’s
it’s been a wonderful path for me but I
think the correct path for everybody
else is to specialize and and get very
good at something that society rewards
and they get very efficient at doing but
even if you do that I think you should
spend 10 or 20 percent of your time and
of trying to know all the big ideas and
all the other disciplines otherwise I
use the same phrase over again otherwise
you’re like a one-lane man an
ass-kicking contest is
you have to know the the big ideas and
all the disciplines to be safe if you
have a life lived outside a cave
everybody
growing up watch it to the right that
you know we all wanted to do the right
thing you know was I am I think the day
I made the decision to become a comedian
I let everything go that was a dead stop
thinking about things that wasn’t there
stop worrying about bills that was there
stop worrying about what day it was
it doesn’t really matter you have a
mission to do shut up get up go do it
and that’s it thinking is the enemy of
man it’s the destructor of man once you
get so and once you start giving
yourself obstacles what if I do lose you
just lost yeah you just lost yeah what
if I did well if I try it I don’t like
it okay you know what yeah you just said
the word if I try it I don’t like it
yeah you already committed out of it
you’re out of there in three weeks just
because you said that just because you
relied your mind to go then you just
quit already
through some nights on the last three
weeks tell my three weeks I think you
know what I came to Iowa I had nothing
to lose
I had nowhere to go I was just a comment
I ended up the Seattle with a stripper
and I thought the goal of coming I
thought coming to LA meant you had to be
the best of the best of the best in your
fields and it didn’t mean that just
coming here makes you a better person in
a way absolutely lifts level and then
once you get here it’s like anything
else you would that and I just is that
the word and you’ve run with the ball
like you know what you’re doing even
though you don’t yeah that was what it
was for me I ran with the ball even
though I did not know what was going on
you said that every great change starts
with pain and I found that really
intriguing
it feels dark it feels heavy when you
say that but it’s I that’s been my
experience that it’s accurate is that
the reason people change is because of
pain the reason we grow is because we
get uncomfortable and we embrace being a
comfort
but being honest with the pain that we
feel is usually the prime mover for
people to do the work that is necessary
to push to the edge okay so there’s a
difference between pain and suffering
there is a difference between there
we’re we’re all suffering we all have
suffering we all have an emptiness or a
dark place or corners inside of our
spirit in our mind that are not
fulfilled and watered and full like we
we all can relate to that and when I’m
talking about pain I’m not necessarily
talking about suffering but
acknowledging our suffering being in
touch with the pain that’s enough to say
when you’re really honest that’s enough
to say I can’t do this I don’t want to
do this anymore
like this is not the person I want to
become and be on a regular basis if
that’s the case if that assumption is
right then as a loved one my job is to
help you get real and experience those
places as often as you can so that you
make the declaration to say no no that’s
not okay for me to feel and be this way
on a regular basis so let me pull on
that thread just a little bit further it
is healthy and necessary to feel all of
the human emotions but we ask people
what do you want in life most people say
I want to be happy wait hold on now if
grandma dies do you want to be happy
that’s it like really when your child is
sick do you want to be happy no no I
think the answer is that we want to feel
all of the human experience to its
fullest but never lose ourself in it but
to experience all of it and so we’re
getting into the weeds of some very
esoteric and non scientific thinking
right now but the practice is that if I
care about you deeply the mistake I can
make in your life is to help you feel
like it’s all okay like oh it’s okay
it’s okay that you’re drinking and
driving and you killed a
fourteen-year-old that’s no problem like
you’ll do better next time
no the work is to say well what’s this
like for you to feel that pain so you
make the commitment to say no no I can’t
do this anymore and that’s when it
becomes really real you
gonna play big say big you’re gonna play
huge say huge you’re gonna play
ginormous say ginormous
but first take baby steps you gonna eat
the elephant but take one small bite
first chew it good right we want so much
so fast my grandmother says baby she
starts every sentence with baby I’m sure
it’s because she cannot remember all of
our names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you fast
forward you’re building on Plexiglas
you’ve been on styrofoam
you’ve been on wood you want to build it
on semen your dream is important enough
to outlive you yes yes and so I realized
that that you can’t Google down lower
resiliency you can’t Google download
tenacity you can’t Google download
forgiveness there’s some of the best
qualities and characteristics that’s
gonna take you a long way that you need
to invest time in and energy in and
intention in you don’t just get patience
I want patience I’m waiting for pick
somebody’s gonna piss you off tomorrow
then now you get to test of your
patience I realized I realized that as I
wanted to develop me I have to be
willing to climb and I wanted to get to
the top and there’s no elevator to the
top I got to do my squats I got to work
on my quads and my hamstrings and my
calves cuz I gotta climb to the top we
got a climb you have to have an
emotional investment in what you’re
doing if you don’t love what you’re
doing
failure is pretty much guaranteed
success is not guaranteed by any means
but failure is much more likely if you
don’t love what you’re doing you know
one of the things that I do is I
question a lot of things and you can do
that in a good way in a bad way but
hopefully if you try to get people to
motivate why they’re doing something and
their way of thinking you know the worst
thing you can end up with it’s a
situation where you get told well this
is the way it’s always been
that’s the worst ever that’s a
non-answer instead ask yourself you know
given everything you have today it’s
their way we can make this better
when it comes to changing the world what
I learned from Steve Jobs is if you
believe in a Macintosh if you believe in
iPhone iPod iPad if you believe enough
then you will see it because other
people will believe in it other people
will create software other people will
create products so you need to foster
the belief in what you are dreaming so
that it becomes a reality which is very
different than saying I don’t expect
anybody to believe it until I see it you
need people to believe it before they
can see it there were the things that I
probably should have done not from my
perspective I mean from my point of view
I did the right things everything every
film that I’ve done I’m happy that I
that I made that choice I don’t have any
regrets whatsoever
box-office bankability I should have
done a few of the things that I didn’t
do but I’m glad I didn’t do them because
it wouldn’t been you
yeah where I would it would have been
for the wrong reasons I did everything
that I’ve been lucky enough to do I did
for the right reasons don’t think about
how do I get really how do I get big
fast that will happen if you actually
build something super meaningful and
super important so don’t think about you
know what is the quickest way to success
think about what is the best way to
building something important that the
world really needs like you don’t have
to be the best but you have to be
dangerous right you have to learn just
enough to be dangerous to build an idea
concept it and show it to the world and
then it turns out there are lots of
other people including all 170 employees
that work at Instagram who are much
better at doing all that stuff than I am
but you’d need to find people who can
you know be drawn to the idea that you
build and and then they end up taking it
and and make any of it but that I have
to want this to exist in the world okay
I have to not so it’s a similar rule
just say if this was successful
and I had nothing and I got no and I was
not involved and I got no money off it
or was in would I want it to do well and
that’s a great check I think to know if
you really feel good about the idea and
can be passionate about it this little
idea explains why some organizations and
some leaders are able to inspire where
others aren’t let me define the terms
really quickly every single person every
single organization on the planet knows
what they do 100 percent some know how
they do it whether you call it your
differentiating value proposition or
your proprietary process or your USP but
very very few people or organizations
know why they do what they do and by why
I don’t mean to make a profit that’s a
result it’s always a result by why I
mean what’s your purpose what’s your
cause what’s your belief why does your
organization exist I say to them my
girls all of the time that your real
work is to figure out where your power
base is
personality your gifts that you have to
give with the real reason why you’re
here that’s that’s the number one thing
you have to do is to work on yourself
and to fill your self up and keep your
cup full keep yourself full now I used
to be afraid of that
I used to be afraid particularly from
people who say oh she said she’s so full
of herself she’s so close or so and now
I embrace it I I considered a compliment
that I am full of myself because you
only when you’re full I’m full I’m
overflowing my cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it you
need to care about everything and it
starts with yourself look yourself in
the mirror and ask yourself what do I
want to do every day for the rest of my
life do that I promise you can monetize
that if you love Alf
doing Alf blog you collect Smurfs Smurfs
so many people are talking about I can’t
monetize I can’t monetize there’s a
billion seven-year-old douchebags that
are in control right now but the number
two person that 34 year old lady she’s
gonna buy your she’s gonna put the
advertising on your stuff it’s coming
stop crying and just keep hustling baby
steps count too as long as you’re going
forward and one day you had all those
baby steps up and you might be surprised
at where you can get to but more
importantly I remember something my mom
used to say to me every day she would
say son the cavalry ain’t coming you got
to do this yourself
ain’t no backup okay and when you put
those two things together man it wasn’t
as hard to keep going forward as you
might think so to really take a
longer-term view not just you know to
look three months from now but look
three years now and but the future is
gonna come whether you like it or not so
you want to kind of be one step ahead
it’s a mind game then it’s why I think
it’s psychology and everything again
life most of life comes down to
psychology doesn’t it it starts here in
the internal world before you can master
the external world you have to master
your own internal world that’s the true
secret to success people that look for
great ideas to make money you know
aren’t nearly as successful as those who
say okay what do I really love to do
what am i excited about what I know
something about you know what’s kind of
interesting and compelling it’s very
rewarding when you work on something you
yeah it’s a little bit harder but I
think I think the passion that one might
bring with it brings so much more energy
to that that you’re more likely to
succeed I had no idea I grew up in
Pittsburgh my dad did upholstery on cars
so if you got a rip in your car seat you
took it to him my mom had odd jobs from
selling real estate to making baskets
and you know I was just a normal kid but
I was always into business from as long
as I could remember I was selling
something or working on something trying
to make money and I just it just got me
excited to be a business person and it
just took off from there we all need a
mission that’s what life should be is a
mission that’s what gives your life
purpose and focus and drive and
ultimately satisfaction now that mission
can be the job you work at it can be
providing for your family
or it can be getting better at jujitsu
or stronger at Olympic lifting or
starting a business that you want to
grow and build and take over the world
and sometimes people ask me what to do
if they don’t know what their mission is
or what their mission should be and I
tell them if they’re in that situation
to go help someone go help someone else
make that your mission because that will
make you better and it’ll make the world
better and eventually from that you’ll
see what your mission is so just go and
do it
try learn from it you know you’ll fail
at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who
you may respect and who you believe know
what they’re talking about don’t let
them tell you it can’t be done because
often they will tell you it can’t be
done
and it’s just because they don’t have
the courage to try Ben Graham and his
low in his low teens
looked around and he looked at the
people he admired and he said you know I
want to be admired so why don’t I just
behave like them and he found there was
nothing impossible about the Haven like
them and similarly he did the same thing
on the reverse side in terms of getting
rid of those qualities from the time I
was seven years old every Saturday I
would go for four hours of acting class
every Saturday whoa
and I loved it I just left it till the
point where all the kids graduated and
went on to the other stuff and I started
doing adult acting classes and then I
was in the commercial classes and then I
loved like the hair and makeup classes
and just everything I just couldn’t get
enough try and be decisive I try and
even if I don’t know what the hell I’m
doing I try to be decisive because I
think it’s very comforting and
reassuring and important to the people
that work with you to feel that whoever
is in charge knows what they’re doing
and knows what they’re thinking and that
if it’s a yes it’s a yes and it’s a no
it’s a no I mean I don’t think of myself
as a boss I mean I I think of myself as
someone who’s giving direction and
guidance so
and vice-versa I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming
what can I anticipate that other people
don’t see and then you must have the
courage of your convictions to execute
the strategy you know one way to
conceptualize what makes a good product
is you know good engineering is part of
it good design is part of it but really
it’s one way I think about it at least
is maximizing the probability that
someone shows up at the front door of
you know your store or your website or
or whatever it is and ends up with a
solved problem and oftentimes the best
methodology is to start with the perfect
experience of just one person get that
right and then figure out how to scale
something great instead of scones I mean
not so great and then trying to improve
it that’s really hard to do cuz acting
turned out to be all that you wanted it
to be it’s incredible it’s incredible
you know I I never knew that I could do
it as a career I never knew I it was the
first memory that I had it’s the first
thing I can think of as saying I want to
be an actor to my parents and if I
hadn’t lived in Los Angeles
and been in such close proximity to sort
of the mecca of moviemaking
if I didn’t have parents that said okay
we’ll drive you to auditions we didn’t
have the economic means to you know move
camp from Idaho to Los Angeles because
some snotty ten-year-old kids as a
Latina we we did it after school I got
to go on auditions but it was always and
I’ve said this before it felt like an
elite group of people and it felt like I
would never belong to them so once I got
the opportunity to to for example get
the movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said wow now I’m able to not be
able to steer the course of my career I
might be able to have a career similar
to these guys that
you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know cuz it’s not lis
dissatisfied in other words and so I
think when you are starting a new
business you uh you don’t want to go
after giant markets you want to go after
small markets and you want to take over
those markets quickly go talk to people
who failed at what you’re doing and who
are no longer doing it
there always are those people so you
started to start up you know you look at
the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to
Sarah founders who have no idea the
history of their own space and there’s
some night
there’s some nice and naivete to that in
the sense that like you’re gonna do it
differently and and there’s some truth
to that but like when you get down to to
making it work and now you’re into it
already you’ve kind of salus what you’re
doing and you have some problems then
I’d go talk to all these people who
failed because you’ll uncover all sorts
of interesting things that you could
drive yeah I looked at lots companies
and I thought they don’t succeed over
time we’ve had a more rapid turnover of
companies I said what are they
fundamentally do wrong they’re one of
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what does that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it I do believe that
organizations human organizations are
inherently unstable they will fall over
and you have to work to keep them
upright but they fall slowly most people
don’t notice it they let their success
they blind them they don’t see it
falling over the following takes place
low but the collapse is quick you have
to do constant assessment you have to
look for the hard truths that whatever
you do somebody can do it better you
have to bring your a-game in every
single day there’s nothing unique about
any one individual what’s unique is
their passion their ability to execute
to meet targets and exceed them the
minute you lose that ability in
capitalism you’re gone it’s a fair trade
the engine that makes you rich can take
it all away from you there are no
guarantees I think that’s incredibly
important there’s a lot of conventional
wisdom out there built up over time and
built through all the learnings from all
the companies and this may be fully
applicable to most of the companies out
there but before it’s applied to your
organization
I highly recommend that you question it
because it could be absolutely fatal for
your success I’ve learnt an experience
is that you know if you don’t open up
and you don’t delegate then you’ll kill
yourself and if there’s one thing I’ve
managed to understand it’s the art of
delegation because if I can pass on you
know to Claire Smith to areum my palette
my understanding my knowledge then grab
it run it and then pass on to your team
don’t hold that inside I was with a
bunch of other investors who I respect
and they brought me a deal and I wanted
to be part of it but it didn’t feel
right and I wrote millions of dollars on
that one and it just didn’t feel right
and I lost it all of the two years
associated masters trust are gotten
absolutely in trust you but what about
you said earlier don’t be emotional and
sometimes the gun no this is a barometer
of risk it’s something and internalized
for an investor that says I don’t feel
comfortable it’s not about emotion just
don’t write that check that was recently
the first time I didn’t listen to that
and I lost everything
so now my radar is up
I listen to my guts it’s not an emotion
it’s an index of risk and you get it as
you age you become a better investor
every year if only I could live to 200
I’d be really good many many kids and
many grown-ups do figure out over time
what their passions are and sometimes we
let our I don’t think it’s that hard I
think what happens though sometimes is
that we let our intellectual selves
overrule those passions and so that’s
what needs to be guarded against
compassion for yourself of course it’s
as important as compassion for others
when you often I get asked questions
like people who did something that they
now realize realize was deeply wrong in
the past sometimes people ask questions
about they brought up their children in
a way that they now realize was not very
conscious and so that they may have
caused suffering to their children or
other people find they have caused
suffering to loved ones and they now
realize that what they did was wrong and
again I say this is an example where you
need to be compassionate with yourself
because no boomin being can act beyond
their level of consciousness so that was
your level of consciousness at the time
and you could not go beyond that and
again here to make demands upon yourself
up to a point it might be a good thing
to butcher if you as long as you enjoy
it it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this there’s something here that’s
not right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing you already know who you
are and that peace that peace that we’re
after lies somewhere beyond personality
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this
don’t let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory as
soon as we I got off the phone call with
him and then also when he said it’s not
in the picture now but we think I think
it’d be great at Dallas dance at the end
and my heartbeat went up on the phone
and I started breaking the cold sweat
like oh no I thought that’s not and as
soon as I would all know that’s not that
the other other devil in my ear said
dare you do and I just meant of course I
think it’s yes because I immediately
notice if you don’t you’re Wilson out
dude are you kidding me you will forever
regret you have to so soon as that got
over that I was like well that’s
inevitable I’m doing it mmm now I got to
bust my ass to go do it the best I can
and a lot of fear that mmm I mean that
was yeah those are those that was some
majorly good anxiety and fear and then
now we’re saying now I’m saying by that
dumb now everything my choice is from
that phone call long work anything I was
nervous about you have to go no don’t go
all I go meet midnight yes can I meet
him for another Corey choreographed
session 8 a.m. Sunday morning do you got
an hour
I’m gonna go send them here my wife’s
over there watching reading something
understand the mirror I’m gonna practice
as a move this is really embarrassing
well too bad man do it in the mirror
right now because the less embarrassing
that gets
hopefully the more comfortable you’ll be
when you’re out there in front of 80
people and bunch of cameras and one
don’t come up short yo go all the way so
when we see a kid with a lemonade stand
it’s different then when we see a
vending machine selling lemonade even if
it’s exactly the same product because
the story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re 2 percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world but what
you really need to do is think about
what is the smallest possible test that
I can run for this idea for this concept
for this theory get it out there and get
customers using it because your
customers are gonna be the ones to tell
you if it’s really working or not
if you’re not utilizing an online
community then you’re at a disadvantage
to those who are you can be asking
online communities what they think about
your ideas or if they have any advice
with what you’re working on not only
will you hear from people who are
passionate about the subject but you’ll
be hearing from people all around the
world each with their own experiences
and stories that can help you once you
have the passionate thing that you’re
passionate about now you can look at
other people or other entities or other
things or works of art you can draw
things from that to help you be better
at what you do by looking for those
common denominators so I wanted to know
how do I prepare her how do I prepare
how do I study how do I view the game
how do you build your game and my
response is much like the way he builds
products and you think sequentially oh
yeah you look at this the end result of
what you want to create but in order to
create that there’s so many other little
things that go into this massive entity
that or device it’s no different than
building my basketball game you start
with where you want your game to be
what would make your game most
unstoppable or hard to deal with and now
you work backwards from there and you
start building in one piece at a time
one move at a time one counter there’s a
lot of similarities there you want an
idea about what you can say I know it
sounds like a bad idea but here’s
specifically why it’s actually a great
one you want to sound crazy but you want
to actually be right because when you’re
trying to differentiate when you’re
trying to do something different there’s
going to be that gut moment that gut
sense is this right is this not right if
you’re not if you’re not having doubt
you’re not pushing the boundaries far
enough one of the things I advise
entrepreneurs to do is when you have an
idea a classic entrepreneurial impulse
is to hold the idea close to you and not
going to help you because all the ideas
so special right that’s almost always a
mistake go talk to why is that a mistake
yeah it’s a mistake because your actual
real competitive advantage is not that
you have this idea that you have locked
away in your closet which may or may not
be accurate and you have no idea which
it is your actual competitive advantages
if you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in most like me
have to do everything three times before
we get it right
thankfully I know that so I know that I
have to get up early and and try it five
times because the eight-year-old will be
able to get past it in two times so I
have to be on my feet longer but at
least I know it and so I just go at
stuff and it served me very well and
that my resume is pretty varied and I
have a pretty interesting life you’ll
get to do different stuff and have a bit
of access because I just said yeah I’ll
try that I mean why would I hold back I
think success first of all is knowing my
purpose in life as I have watched and
observed successful people what I have
discovered about them is they really
have figured out why they’re here
they really do have their act together
and and and knowing their purpose in
life is a stability for them so that
when everyone else is rocking and
rolling and and and and things are a
little unsteady and people are kind of
leaving the ship and people are kind of
abandoning their causes with
these people they hold steady right
throughout the storm because they they
have a true North Star they truly are
focused it becomes an it comes an anchor
in their life that just holds them
steady and the anchor is a confidence
based upon a knowledge of purpose and
there are a lot of people from whom we
can learn a lot and I think like you
know the one piece of advice is like
don’t underestimate anyone you come
across everybody like whether they’re
you know a blue collar worker waiting
for the bus or they’re you know helping
you at your they’re the server a
bartender at the restaurant or they’re a
lower-ranking employee I mean the
smartest leaders I’ve ever seen have
always gone around the room and asked
for everybody’s opinion I don’t pay no
attention to what they say about me all
I do is just do what I have to do and
get paid and that’s it but I don’t
really pay no attention to the rules of
boxing I don’t pay no attention I define
rules I define how they had it pages to
the book of boxes the world is a hurting
place and the world needs hope and the
world needs love without hope
I feel like why are we here well
brokenness here’s mine
today I still have no arms no legs but
everything’s changed everything for me I
was looking for hope and happiness soon
I couldn’t see it for many years in fact
if this side of the table represents my
hope truth encourages me to become all
that I can be but then we have lies
every day coming in our mind
people who discourage us you know the
people that you have in your life who no
matter how good of a day you’re having
they’ll bring you down or and no matter
how bad of a day you’re having they’ll
bring you even lower you know what I’m
talking about
think of the three biggest discourages
in your life
they’re not your biggest discourages you
are you are here in takes three seconds
for me to tell you something
discouraging but then you may never
forget my words a lot of times I’ll be
the tours at Mile Run or something like
that and I’m all jacked up body’s broken
mines broken spirits broken I’ve started
to say what if I can pull this off when
I first walked into the Navy SEAL
recruiters office he looked at me and
said only been 35 african-americans and
70 years make it through you know I said
to myself what if I can be the 36th it’s
the what if I can pull off a miracle
what if I can become someone that no one
thinks I can be and just that just means
talking about that I have hair growing
up on my arms because it makes me just
like what if I can be that guy that
people who called nigger and this and
that and now I’m speaking at tom ferry
event it’s so hard I thought doing this
research I thought going into it there
are authentic people and inauthentic
people who I had I did not find any
evidence of that at all
what I found is authenticity to practice
and you choose it every day sometimes
every hour of every day and it’s a
practice it’s not I just wake up and
have authentic well familiar they
visualize where you want to be what you
want to accomplish you kind of get lost
in the process of day-to-day you know
grinding it out at work pulling on eyes
if you have to you know that this is
just about not losing vision and not
losing sight of what you’re what you’re
trying to accomplish no matter what
hurdles you have to go through so I
think that kind of relates to whatever
you’re doing
you know Bajor you’ve chosen what you’re
interested in so for me and basketball
and it’s about you know visualizing
whether you write it down and put it on
the wall do something with what your
goals are and get lost in the process of
the day-to-day grind day-to-day getting
better every single day
asking questions aligning yourself with
people that have been through it before
they’re that are experienced and leaning
on that advice and just trying to
outwork the next person and that’s the
biggest thing how do you think about
making a decision when everyone tells me
this is a crazy idea where do you get
the internal strength to do that well
first of all I’d say I actually think I
think I feel feel fear quite strongly so
as long as though I just have the
absence of fear I’ve I feel it quite
strongly but there are times when
something is important enough
you’ve leave it enough that you do you
do it in spite of the fear so speaking
of important things like people
shouldn’t think III I should think well
I feel fear about this and therefore I
shouldn’t do it it’s normal to be to
feel fear like you’d have to definitely
something mentally wrong you shouldn’t
feel fear so you just feel it and let
the importance of it anyway yeah you
know actually something that can be
helpful as fatalism
some degree if you just think it’s just
accept the probabilities then that
diminishes fear so my starting SpaceX I
thought the odds of success were less
than 10% and I just accepted that
actually probably I would just lose lose
everything but that maybe would make
some progress if we could just move the
ball forward even if we died maybe some
other company could pick up the baton
and move and keep moving it forward so
yeah same with Tesla I thought your odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low most startups that fail do
it ultimately because they did not make
something that people wanted they made
something that you know that they
thought people would want but they were
either in denial about it about you know
whether it was actually any good or
somebody else came along and made
something that people wanted even more
and so it’s not just about doing focus
groups it’s not just about you know
double-checking your vision it really is
about integrating this concept of
testing our ideas rigorously throughout
the product development process out the
marketing process even as we scale up
the hardest thing to do is start you
have all these ideas and everyone has an
idea but it’s really about executing the
idea and building the idea and
attracting other people to help you work
on the idea that is the biggest
challenge but the way to begin is to get
the idea out of your head draw it out
you know talk about it program it if
you’re a programmer or make it if you’re
building something and so when we’re
coming up with ideas you know we always
ask ourselves what kind of new market is
is creating and then also what what part
of my day and and what problem is it
solving and so I’ve gone as far as
taking an entire catalog of my day from
the moment I like open my eyes and
writing down every single thing I do and
then asking myself like is there
something here don’t necessarily think
that you have to have the homerun and
the huge Apple Computer on your first
start I spent a long time in my life
with skills just building little devices
for fun
for fun is one of the key things because
that drives you to think and think and
think and make it better and better and
better than you ever would if you’re
doing it for a company build things at
first for yourself that you would want
well you have to treat yourself like you
matter because if you don’t then you
don’t take care of yourself and you
become vengeful and and and cruel and
you you take you take it out on people
around you and you’re not a positive
force none of that’s good so you suffer
more and so does everyone around you and
there’s a malevolence that enters into
it none of that’s good so that’s what
happens if you don’t treat yourself like
you matter and then what happens if you
don’t treat other
like they matter well you lie to them
you cheat them you steal you you you
enter into impulsive relationships with
them they can’t trust you that doesn’t
go anywhere they don’t like you you you
end up alone at best and maybe like
incarcerated at worst like that doesn’t
work and so you watch the people around
you who thrive regardless of what they
say they act out the proposition that
everyone matters and then you have a
functional society and I think okay well
if if if when you act out the
proposition that everyone matters you
have a functional society maybe that’s
evidence that that proposition is true
it’s like I think it’s I think it’s true
if you’re not coming up with ten ideas a
day that’s why I have this thing I’m not
coming up when I’m filling up this page
every single day then my idea muscle
will atrophy and I started this in 2001
and I still do it every single day like
you have to come up with ideas every
single day or the idea muscle atrophies
the good news is after about six months
of doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any what this all
comes down to is doing something
exceptional for your users whether it’s
in community whether it’s in connection
or whether it’s in design this is our
big advantage as a startup is that we
can actually get away with doing this we
can make this the core part of why we’re doing business
brained and very visual about everything
in my life and I remember it was I have
an older brother and a younger sister
and when my mom was when my brother was
off to school I was about 4 you know
five years where I hadn’t gone to
kindergarten yet I used to just sit and
draw all day long and it was something
where I remember being inside of a
painting or a picture or a drawing and
time would stop I would be there for
almost I I remember starting a pen
drawing or whatever and it would turn in
tonight it would be eight hours have
gone by and it felt like literally 20
minutes and I got better and better and
and but but this is a deal to is that I
was always always disappointed as an
artist is because it never looked the
way I wanted it to look so every drawing
every painting became this effort to
make what was in my head match what was
on the paper and I’m still doing that I
mean in regards to performances in
regards to drawing in regards to my
furniture in regards to all the things
that I’ve ever tried to do it’s still
not as good as it is in my head and
that’s crazy it is it’s weird but I
think my whole life has been trying to
match up with this thing in this vision
that I have in my head and I don’t think
I’ll ever get there but it’s fun to try
so after spending seven years studying
the world’s most successful people I
realized while on the surface you know
Maya Angelou and Steve Wozniak might be
completely different at the core their
stories are the exact same and there’s
almost this common melody to it and the
analogy that came to me is that they
treat life business and success
just like a nightclub there’s always
three ways in there’s the first door
where 99% of people wait in line hoping
to get in that’s where the line curves
are on the block right and then there’s
the second or the VIP entrance or the
billionaires and the celebrities go
through and school has this way of
making you feel like those are the only
two ways in right your other weights
your turn where you’re born into it but
what I’ve learned and what you know is
that there’s always always the third
door and it’s the entrance where you
jump out of line run down the alley bang
on the door hundred times crack up with
a window go through the kitchen there’s
always a way in and it doesn’t matter if
that’s how Bill Gates willed his first
piece of software or how Lady Gaga got
her first record deal they all took a
third door
I don’t think operating over many
disciplines as I do is a good idea for
most people I think it’s fun that’s why
I have done it and and I’m better at it
than most people would be I don’t think
I’m good at being the very best
attending differential equations so it’s
it’s been a wonderful path for me but I
think the correct path for everybody
else is to specialize and and get very
good at something that society rewards
and they get very efficient at doing but
even if you do that I think you should
spend 10 or 20 percent of your time and
of trying to know all the big ideas and
all the other disciplines otherwise I
use the same phrase over again otherwise
you’re like a one-lane man an
ass-kicking contest is
you have to know the the big ideas and
all the disciplines to be safe if you
have a life lived outside a cave
everybody
growing up watch it to the right that
you know we all wanted to do the right
thing you know was I am I think the day
I made the decision to become a comedian
I let everything go that was a dead stop
thinking about things that wasn’t there
stop worrying about bills that was there
stop worrying about what day it was
it doesn’t really matter you have a
mission to do shut up get up go do it
and that’s it thinking is the enemy of
man it’s the destructor of man once you
get so and once you start giving
yourself obstacles what if I do lose you
just lost yeah you just lost yeah what
if I did well if I try it I don’t like
it okay you know what yeah you just said
the word if I try it I don’t like it
yeah you already committed out of it
you’re out of there in three weeks just
because you said that just because you
relied your mind to go then you just
quit already
through some nights on the last three
weeks tell my three weeks I think you
know what I came to Iowa I had nothing
to lose
I had nowhere to go I was just a comment
I ended up the Seattle with a stripper
and I thought the goal of coming I
thought coming to LA meant you had to be
the best of the best of the best in your
fields and it didn’t mean that just
coming here makes you a better person in
a way absolutely lifts level and then
once you get here it’s like anything
else you would that and I just is that
the word and you’ve run with the ball
like you know what you’re doing even
though you don’t yeah that was what it
was for me I ran with the ball even
though I did not know what was going on
you said that every great change starts
with pain and I found that really
intriguing
it feels dark it feels heavy when you
say that but it’s I that’s been my
experience that it’s accurate is that
the reason people change is because of
pain the reason we grow is because we
get uncomfortable and we embrace being a
comfort
but being honest with the pain that we
feel is usually the prime mover for
people to do the work that is necessary
to push to the edge okay so there’s a
difference between pain and suffering
there is a difference between there
we’re we’re all suffering we all have
suffering we all have an emptiness or a
dark place or corners inside of our
spirit in our mind that are not
fulfilled and watered and full like we
we all can relate to that and when I’m
talking about pain I’m not necessarily
talking about suffering but
acknowledging our suffering being in
touch with the pain that’s enough to say
when you’re really honest that’s enough
to say I can’t do this I don’t want to
do this anymore
like this is not the person I want to
become and be on a regular basis if
that’s the case if that assumption is
right then as a loved one my job is to
help you get real and experience those
places as often as you can so that you
make the declaration to say no no that’s
not okay for me to feel and be this way
on a regular basis so let me pull on
that thread just a little bit further it
is healthy and necessary to feel all of
the human emotions but we ask people
what do you want in life most people say
I want to be happy wait hold on now if
grandma dies do you want to be happy
that’s it like really when your child is
sick do you want to be happy no no I
think the answer is that we want to feel
all of the human experience to its
fullest but never lose ourself in it but
to experience all of it and so we’re
getting into the weeds of some very
esoteric and non scientific thinking
right now but the practice is that if I
care about you deeply the mistake I can
make in your life is to help you feel
like it’s all okay like oh it’s okay
it’s okay that you’re drinking and
driving and you killed a
fourteen-year-old that’s no problem like
you’ll do better next time
no the work is to say well what’s this
like for you to feel that pain so you
make the commitment to say no no I can’t
do this anymore and that’s when it
becomes really real you
gonna play big say big you’re gonna play
huge say huge you’re gonna play
ginormous say ginormous
but first take baby steps you gonna eat
the elephant but take one small bite
first chew it good right we want so much
so fast my grandmother says baby she
starts every sentence with baby I’m sure
it’s because she cannot remember all of
our names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you fast
forward you’re building on Plexiglas
you’ve been on styrofoam
you’ve been on wood you want to build it
on semen your dream is important enough
to outlive you yes yes and so I realized
that that you can’t Google down lower
resiliency you can’t Google download
tenacity you can’t Google download
forgiveness there’s some of the best
qualities and characteristics that’s
gonna take you a long way that you need
to invest time in and energy in and
intention in you don’t just get patience
I want patience I’m waiting for pick
somebody’s gonna piss you off tomorrow
then now you get to test of your
patience I realized I realized that as I
wanted to develop me I have to be
willing to climb and I wanted to get to
the top and there’s no elevator to the
top I got to do my squats I got to work
on my quads and my hamstrings and my
calves cuz I gotta climb to the top we
got a climb you have to have an
emotional investment in what you’re
doing if you don’t love what you’re
doing
failure is pretty much guaranteed
success is not guaranteed by any means
but failure is much more likely if you
don’t love what you’re doing you know
one of the things that I do is I
question a lot of things and you can do
that in a good way in a bad way but
hopefully if you try to get people to
motivate why they’re doing something and
their way of thinking you know the worst
thing you can end up with it’s a
situation where you get told well this
is the way it’s always been
that’s the worst ever that’s a
non-answer instead ask yourself you know
given everything you have today it’s
their way we can make this better
when it comes to changing the world what
I learned from Steve Jobs is if you
believe in a Macintosh if you believe in
iPhone iPod iPad if you believe enough
then you will see it because other
people will believe in it other people
will create software other people will
create products so you need to foster
the belief in what you are dreaming so
that it becomes a reality which is very
different than saying I don’t expect
anybody to believe it until I see it you
need people to believe it before they
can see it there were the things that I
probably should have done not from my
perspective I mean from my point of view
I did the right things everything every
film that I’ve done I’m happy that I
that I made that choice I don’t have any
regrets whatsoever
box-office bankability I should have
done a few of the things that I didn’t
do but I’m glad I didn’t do them because
it wouldn’t been you
yeah where I would it would have been
for the wrong reasons I did everything
that I’ve been lucky enough to do I did
for the right reasons don’t think about
how do I get really how do I get big
fast that will happen if you actually
build something super meaningful and
super important so don’t think about you
know what is the quickest way to success
think about what is the best way to
building something important that the
world really needs like you don’t have
to be the best but you have to be
dangerous right you have to learn just
enough to be dangerous to build an idea
concept it and show it to the world and
then it turns out there are lots of
other people including all 170 employees
that work at Instagram who are much
better at doing all that stuff than I am
but you’d need to find people who can
you know be drawn to the idea that you
build and and then they end up taking it
and and make any of it but that I have
to want this to exist in the world okay
I have to not so it’s a similar rule
just say if this was successful
and I had nothing and I got no and I was
not involved and I got no money off it
or was in would I want it to do well and
that’s a great check I think to know if
you really feel good about the idea and
can be passionate about it this little
idea explains why some organizations and
some leaders are able to inspire where
others aren’t let me define the terms
really quickly every single person every
single organization on the planet knows
what they do 100 percent some know how
they do it whether you call it your
differentiating value proposition or
your proprietary process or your USP but
very very few people or organizations
know why they do what they do and by why
I don’t mean to make a profit that’s a
result it’s always a result by why I
mean what’s your purpose what’s your
cause what’s your belief why does your
organization exist I say to them my
girls all of the time that your real
work is to figure out where your power
base is
personality your gifts that you have to
give with the real reason why you’re
here that’s that’s the number one thing
you have to do is to work on yourself
and to fill your self up and keep your
cup full keep yourself full now I used
to be afraid of that
I used to be afraid particularly from
people who say oh she said she’s so full
of herself she’s so close or so and now
I embrace it I I considered a compliment
that I am full of myself because you
only when you’re full I’m full I’m
overflowing my cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it you
need to care about everything and it
starts with yourself look yourself in
the mirror and ask yourself what do I
want to do every day for the rest of my
life do that I promise you can monetize
that if you love Alf
doing Alf blog you collect Smurfs Smurfs
so many people are talking about I can’t
monetize I can’t monetize there’s a
billion seven-year-old douchebags that
are in control right now but the number
two person that 34 year old lady she’s
gonna buy your she’s gonna put the
advertising on your stuff it’s coming
stop crying and just keep hustling baby
steps count too as long as you’re going
forward and one day you had all those
baby steps up and you might be surprised
at where you can get to but more
importantly I remember something my mom
used to say to me every day she would
say son the cavalry ain’t coming you got
to do this yourself
ain’t no backup okay and when you put
those two things together man it wasn’t
as hard to keep going forward as you
might think so to really take a
longer-term view not just you know to
look three months from now but look
three years now and but the future is
gonna come whether you like it or not so
you want to kind of be one step ahead
it’s a mind game then it’s why I think
it’s psychology and everything again
life most of life comes down to
psychology doesn’t it it starts here in
the internal world before you can master
the external world you have to master
your own internal world that’s the true
secret to success people that look for
great ideas to make money you know
aren’t nearly as successful as those who
say okay what do I really love to do
what am i excited about what I know
something about you know what’s kind of
interesting and compelling it’s very
rewarding when you work on something you
yeah it’s a little bit harder but I
think I think the passion that one might
bring with it brings so much more energy
to that that you’re more likely to
succeed I had no idea I grew up in
Pittsburgh my dad did upholstery on cars
so if you got a rip in your car seat you
took it to him my mom had odd jobs from
selling real estate to making baskets
and you know I was just a normal kid but
I was always into business from as long
as I could remember I was selling
something or working on something trying
to make money and I just it just got me
excited to be a business person and it
just took off from there we all need a
mission that’s what life should be is a
mission that’s what gives your life
purpose and focus and drive and
ultimately satisfaction now that mission
can be the job you work at it can be
providing for your family
or it can be getting better at jujitsu
or stronger at Olympic lifting or
starting a business that you want to
grow and build and take over the world
and sometimes people ask me what to do
if they don’t know what their mission is
or what their mission should be and I
tell them if they’re in that situation
to go help someone go help someone else
make that your mission because that will
make you better and it’ll make the world
better and eventually from that you’ll
see what your mission is so just go and
do it
try learn from it you know you’ll fail
at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who
you may respect and who you believe know
what they’re talking about don’t let
them tell you it can’t be done because
often they will tell you it can’t be
done
and it’s just because they don’t have
the courage to try Ben Graham and his
low in his low teens
looked around and he looked at the
people he admired and he said you know I
want to be admired so why don’t I just
behave like them and he found there was
nothing impossible about the Haven like
them and similarly he did the same thing
on the reverse side in terms of getting
rid of those qualities from the time I
was seven years old every Saturday I
would go for four hours of acting class
every Saturday whoa
and I loved it I just left it till the
point where all the kids graduated and
went on to the other stuff and I started
doing adult acting classes and then I
was in the commercial classes and then I
loved like the hair and makeup classes
and just everything I just couldn’t get
enough try and be decisive I try and
even if I don’t know what the hell I’m
doing I try to be decisive because I
think it’s very comforting and
reassuring and important to the people
that work with you to feel that whoever
is in charge knows what they’re doing
and knows what they’re thinking and that
if it’s a yes it’s a yes and it’s a no
it’s a no I mean I don’t think of myself
as a boss I mean I I think of myself as
someone who’s giving direction and
guidance so
and vice-versa I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming
what can I anticipate that other people
don’t see and then you must have the
courage of your convictions to execute
the strategy you know one way to
conceptualize what makes a good product
is you know good engineering is part of
it good design is part of it but really
it’s one way I think about it at least
is maximizing the probability that
someone shows up at the front door of
you know your store or your website or
or whatever it is and ends up with a
solved problem and oftentimes the best
methodology is to start with the perfect
experience of just one person get that
right and then figure out how to scale
something great instead of scones I mean
not so great and then trying to improve
it that’s really hard to do cuz acting
turned out to be all that you wanted it
to be it’s incredible it’s incredible
you know I I never knew that I could do
it as a career I never knew I it was the
first memory that I had it’s the first
thing I can think of as saying I want to
be an actor to my parents and if I
hadn’t lived in Los Angeles
and been in such close proximity to sort
of the mecca of moviemaking
if I didn’t have parents that said okay
we’ll drive you to auditions we didn’t
have the economic means to you know move
camp from Idaho to Los Angeles because
some snotty ten-year-old kids as a
Latina we we did it after school I got
to go on auditions but it was always and
I’ve said this before it felt like an
elite group of people and it felt like I
would never belong to them so once I got
the opportunity to to for example get
the movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said wow now I’m able to not be
able to steer the course of my career I
might be able to have a career similar
to these guys that
you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know cuz it’s not lis
dissatisfied in other words and so I
think when you are starting a new
business you uh you don’t want to go
after giant markets you want to go after
small markets and you want to take over
those markets quickly go talk to people
who failed at what you’re doing and who
are no longer doing it
there always are those people so you
started to start up you know you look at
the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to
Sarah founders who have no idea the
history of their own space and there’s
some night
there’s some nice and naivete to that in
the sense that like you’re gonna do it
differently and and there’s some truth
to that but like when you get down to to
making it work and now you’re into it
already you’ve kind of salus what you’re
doing and you have some problems then
I’d go talk to all these people who
failed because you’ll uncover all sorts
of interesting things that you could
drive yeah I looked at lots companies
and I thought they don’t succeed over
time we’ve had a more rapid turnover of
companies I said what are they
fundamentally do wrong they’re one of
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what does that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it I do believe that
organizations human organizations are
inherently unstable they will fall over
and you have to work to keep them
upright but they fall slowly most people
don’t notice it they let their success
they blind them they don’t see it
falling over the following takes place
low but the collapse is quick you have
to do constant assessment you have to
look for the hard truths that whatever
you do somebody can do it better you
have to bring your a-game in every
single day there’s nothing unique about
any one individual what’s unique is
their passion their ability to execute
to meet targets and exceed them the
minute you lose that ability in
capitalism you’re gone it’s a fair trade
the engine that makes you rich can take
it all away from you there are no
guarantees I think that’s incredibly
important there’s a lot of conventional
wisdom out there built up over time and
built through all the learnings from all
the companies and this may be fully
applicable to most of the companies out
there but before it’s applied to your
organization
I highly recommend that you question it
because it could be absolutely fatal for
your success I’ve learnt an experience
is that you know if you don’t open up
and you don’t delegate then you’ll kill
yourself and if there’s one thing I’ve
managed to understand it’s the art of
delegation because if I can pass on you
know to Claire Smith to areum my palette
my understanding my knowledge then grab
it run it and then pass on to your team
don’t hold that inside I was with a
bunch of other investors who I respect
and they brought me a deal and I wanted
to be part of it but it didn’t feel
right and I wrote millions of dollars on
that one and it just didn’t feel right
and I lost it all of the two years
associated masters trust are gotten
absolutely in trust you but what about
you said earlier don’t be emotional and
sometimes the gun no this is a barometer
of risk it’s something and internalized
for an investor that says I don’t feel
comfortable it’s not about emotion just
don’t write that check that was recently
the first time I didn’t listen to that
and I lost everything
so now my radar is up
I listen to my guts it’s not an emotion
it’s an index of risk and you get it as
you age you become a better investor
every year if only I could live to 200
I’d be really good many many kids and
many grown-ups do figure out over time
what their passions are and sometimes we
let our I don’t think it’s that hard I
think what happens though sometimes is
that we let our intellectual selves
overrule those passions and so that’s
what needs to be guarded against
compassion for yourself of course it’s
as important as compassion for others
when you often I get asked questions
like people who did something that they
now realize realize was deeply wrong in
the past sometimes people ask questions
about they brought up their children in
a way that they now realize was not very
conscious and so that they may have
caused suffering to their children or
other people find they have caused
suffering to loved ones and they now
realize that what they did was wrong and
again I say this is an example where you
need to be compassionate with yourself
because no boomin being can act beyond
their level of consciousness so that was
your level of consciousness at the time
and you could not go beyond that and
again here to make demands upon yourself
up to a point it might be a good thing
to butcher if you as long as you enjoy
it it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this there’s something here that’s
not right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing you already know who you
are and that peace that peace that we’re
after lies somewhere beyond personality
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this
don’t let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory as
soon as we I got off the phone call with
him and then also when he said it’s not
in the picture now but we think I think
it’d be great at Dallas dance at the end
and my heartbeat went up on the phone
and I started breaking the cold sweat
like oh no I thought that’s not and as
soon as I would all know that’s not that
the other other devil in my ear said
dare you do and I just meant of course I
think it’s yes because I immediately
notice if you don’t you’re Wilson out
dude are you kidding me you will forever
regret you have to so soon as that got
over that I was like well that’s
inevitable I’m doing it mmm now I got to
bust my ass to go do it the best I can
and a lot of fear that mmm I mean that
was yeah those are those that was some
majorly good anxiety and fear and then
now we’re saying now I’m saying by that
dumb now everything my choice is from
that phone call long work anything I was
nervous about you have to go no don’t go
all I go meet midnight yes can I meet
him for another Corey choreographed
session 8 a.m. Sunday morning do you got
an hour
I’m gonna go send them here my wife’s
over there watching reading something
understand the mirror I’m gonna practice
as a move this is really embarrassing
well too bad man do it in the mirror
right now because the less embarrassing
that gets
hopefully the more comfortable you’ll be
when you’re out there in front of 80
people and bunch of cameras and one
don’t come up short yo go all the way so
when we see a kid with a lemonade stand
it’s different then when we see a
vending machine selling lemonade even if
it’s exactly the same product because
the story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re 2 percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world but what
you really need to do is think about
what is the smallest possible test that
I can run for this idea for this concept
for this theory get it out there and get
customers using it because your
customers are gonna be the ones to tell
you if it’s really working or not
if you’re not utilizing an online
community then you’re at a disadvantage
to those who are you can be asking
online communities what they think about
your ideas or if they have any advice
with what you’re working on not only
will you hear from people who are
passionate about the subject but you’ll
be hearing from people all around the
world each with their own experiences
and stories that can help you once you
have the passionate thing that you’re
passionate about now you can look at
other people or other entities or other
things or works of art you can draw
things from that to help you be better
at what you do by looking for those
common denominators so I wanted to know
how do I prepare her how do I prepare
how do I study how do I view the game
how do you build your game and my
response is much like the way he builds
products and you think sequentially oh
yeah you look at this the end result of
what you want to create but in order to
create that there’s so many other little
things that go into this massive entity
that or device it’s no different than
building my basketball game you start
with where you want your game to be
what would make your game most
unstoppable or hard to deal with and now
you work backwards from there and you
start building in one piece at a time
one move at a time one counter there’s a
lot of similarities there you want an
idea about what you can say I know it
sounds like a bad idea but here’s
specifically why it’s actually a great
one you want to sound crazy but you want
to actually be right because when you’re
trying to differentiate when you’re
trying to do something different there’s
going to be that gut moment that gut
sense is this right is this not right if
you’re not if you’re not having doubt
you’re not pushing the boundaries far
enough one of the things I advise
entrepreneurs to do is when you have an
idea a classic entrepreneurial impulse
is to hold the idea close to you and not
going to help you because all the ideas
so special right that’s almost always a
mistake go talk to why is that a mistake
yeah it’s a mistake because your actual
real competitive advantage is not that
you have this idea that you have locked
away in your closet which may or may not
be accurate and you have no idea which
it is your actual competitive advantages
if you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in most like me
have to do everything three times before
we get it right
thankfully I know that so I know that I
have to get up early and and try it five
times because the eight-year-old will be
able to get past it in two times so I
have to be on my feet longer but at
least I know it and so I just go at
stuff and it served me very well and
that my resume is pretty varied and I
have a pretty interesting life you’ll
get to do different stuff and have a bit
of access because I just said yeah I’ll
try that I mean why would I hold back I
think success first of all is knowing my
purpose in life as I have watched and
observed successful people what I have
discovered about them is they really
have figured out why they’re here
they really do have their act together
and and and knowing their purpose in
life is a stability for them so that
when everyone else is rocking and
rolling and and and and things are a
little unsteady and people are kind of
leaving the ship and people are kind of
abandoning their causes with
these people they hold steady right
throughout the storm because they they
have a true North Star they truly are
focused it becomes an it comes an anchor
in their life that just holds them
steady and the anchor is a confidence
based upon a knowledge of purpose and
there are a lot of people from whom we
can learn a lot and I think like you
know the one piece of advice is like
don’t underestimate anyone you come
across everybody like whether they’re
you know a blue collar worker waiting
for the bus or they’re you know helping
you at your they’re the server a
bartender at the restaurant or they’re a
lower-ranking employee I mean the
smartest leaders I’ve ever seen have
always gone around the room and asked
for everybody’s opinion I don’t pay no
attention to what they say about me all
I do is just do what I have to do and
get paid and that’s it but I don’t
really pay no attention to the rules of
boxing I don’t pay no attention I define
rules I define how they had it pages to
the book of boxes the world is a hurting
place and the world needs hope and the
world needs love without hope
I feel like why are we here well
brokenness here’s mine
today I still have no arms no legs but
everything’s changed everything for me I
was looking for hope and happiness soon
I couldn’t see it for many years in fact
if this side of the table represents my
hope truth encourages me to become all
that I can be but then we have lies
every day coming in our mind
people who discourage us you know the
people that you have in your life who no
matter how good of a day you’re having
they’ll bring you down or and no matter
how bad of a day you’re having they’ll
bring you even lower you know what I’m
talking about
think of the three biggest discourages
in your life
they’re not your biggest discourages you
are you are here in takes three seconds
for me to tell you something
discouraging but then you may never
forget my words a lot of times I’ll be
the tours at Mile Run or something like
that and I’m all jacked up body’s broken
mines broken spirits broken I’ve started
to say what if I can pull this off when
I first walked into the Navy SEAL
recruiters office he looked at me and
said only been 35 african-americans and
70 years make it through you know I said
to myself what if I can be the 36th it’s
the what if I can pull off a miracle
what if I can become someone that no one
thinks I can be and just that just means
talking about that I have hair growing
up on my arms because it makes me just
like what if I can be that guy that
people who called nigger and this and
that and now I’m speaking at tom ferry
event it’s so hard I thought doing this
research I thought going into it there
are authentic people and inauthentic
people who I had I did not find any
evidence of that at all
what I found is authenticity to practice
and you choose it every day sometimes
every hour of every day and it’s a
practice it’s not I just wake up and
have authentic well familiar they
visualize where you want to be what you
want to accomplish you kind of get lost
in the process of day-to-day you know
grinding it out at work pulling on eyes
if you have to you know that this is
just about not losing vision and not
losing sight of what you’re what you’re
trying to accomplish no matter what
hurdles you have to go through so I
think that kind of relates to whatever
you’re doing
you know Bajor you’ve chosen what you’re
interested in so for me and basketball
and it’s about you know visualizing
whether you write it down and put it on
the wall do something with what your
goals are and get lost in the process of
the day-to-day grind day-to-day getting
better every single day
asking questions aligning yourself with
people that have been through it before
they’re that are experienced and leaning
on that advice and just trying to
outwork the next person and that’s the
biggest thing how do you think about
making a decision when everyone tells me
this is a crazy idea where do you get
the internal strength to do that well
first of all I’d say I actually think I
think I feel feel fear quite strongly so
as long as though I just have the
absence of fear I’ve I feel it quite
strongly but there are times when
something is important enough
you’ve leave it enough that you do you
do it in spite of the fear so speaking
of important things like people
shouldn’t think III I should think well
I feel fear about this and therefore I
shouldn’t do it it’s normal to be to
feel fear like you’d have to definitely
something mentally wrong you shouldn’t
feel fear so you just feel it and let
the importance of it anyway yeah you
know actually something that can be
helpful as fatalism
some degree if you just think it’s just
accept the probabilities then that
diminishes fear so my starting SpaceX I
thought the odds of success were less
than 10% and I just accepted that
actually probably I would just lose lose
everything but that maybe would make
some progress if we could just move the
ball forward even if we died maybe some
other company could pick up the baton
and move and keep moving it forward so
yeah same with Tesla I thought your odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low most startups that fail do
it ultimately because they did not make
something that people wanted they made
something that you know that they
thought people would want but they were
either in denial about it about you know
whether it was actually any good or
somebody else came along and made
something that people wanted even more
and so it’s not just about doing focus
groups it’s not just about you know
double-checking your vision it really is
about integrating this concept of
testing our ideas rigorously throughout
the product development process out the
marketing process even as we scale up
the hardest thing to do is start you
have all these ideas and everyone has an
idea but it’s really about executing the
idea and building the idea and
attracting other people to help you work
on the idea that is the biggest
challenge but the way to begin is to get
the idea out of your head draw it out
you know talk about it program it if
you’re a programmer or make it if you’re
building something and so when we’re
coming up with ideas you know we always
ask ourselves what kind of new market is
is creating and then also what what part
of my day and and what problem is it
solving and so I’ve gone as far as
taking an entire catalog of my day from
the moment I like open my eyes and
writing down every single thing I do and
then asking myself like is there
something here don’t necessarily think
that you have to have the homerun and
the huge Apple Computer on your first
start I spent a long time in my life
with skills just building little devices
for fun
for fun is one of the key things because
that drives you to think and think and
think and make it better and better and
better than you ever would if you’re
doing it for a company build things at
first for yourself that you would want
well you have to treat yourself like you
matter because if you don’t then you
don’t take care of yourself and you
become vengeful and and and cruel and
you you take you take it out on people
around you and you’re not a positive
force none of that’s good so you suffer
more and so does everyone around you and
there’s a malevolence that enters into
it none of that’s good so that’s what
happens if you don’t treat yourself like
you matter and then what happens if you
don’t treat other
like they matter well you lie to them
you cheat them you steal you you you
enter into impulsive relationships with
them they can’t trust you that doesn’t
go anywhere they don’t like you you you
end up alone at best and maybe like
incarcerated at worst like that doesn’t
work and so you watch the people around
you who thrive regardless of what they
say they act out the proposition that
everyone matters and then you have a
functional society and I think okay well
if if if when you act out the
proposition that everyone matters you
have a functional society maybe that’s
evidence that that proposition is true
it’s like I think it’s I think it’s true
if you’re not coming up with ten ideas a
day that’s why I have this thing I’m not
coming up when I’m filling up this page
every single day then my idea muscle
will atrophy and I started this in 2001
and I still do it every single day like
you have to come up with ideas every
single day or the idea muscle atrophies
the good news is after about six months
of doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any what this all
comes down to is doing something
exceptional for your users whether it’s
in community whether it’s in connection
or whether it’s in design this is our
big advantage as a startup is that we
can actually get away with doing this we
can make this the core part of why we’re doing business
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