I think it was a few times that I
thought I I booked it like for sure and
you didn’t even like just being
heartbroken and you know I having my mom
and my dad kind of pick up the pieces
and I think that that was the you know
the few times that they actually started
the question themselves are we doing the
right thing by letting them do it and do
this and try to act and take on this
this profession that you know it’s such
a gamble as a lottery you know such a
lottery and you just train yourself to
like manage your expectations for the
most part when it comes to auditions I
used I know a system that I started
doing with like after the audition after
I left out I’ll just throw my sides away
you know they really want me I’ll just
print them out again you know I’ll go
out and I’ll go to the house we’ll go to
Kinko’s and cuz I have a printed the
timing and print him on again and that
was just my way of training myself to
just forget about it when you leave you
know it’s nothing side of your hands
you’d up you’ve done all you can do
worrying about it it’s not gonna excuse
me help you get the job so um I mean
it’s tough you know when it has nothing
to do with you you know you got the most
talent in the world feel as though
you’re perfect for it and still not get
it because you know maybe the other lead
is a little too tall and you you know
you guys don’t complement each other
well on-screen that’s nothing to do with
you whatsoever and I’m just kind of
wrapping your head around the process
and knowing that it’s completely out of
your hands well it’s just easier for you
to kind of let go and move on to the
next thing and I wanted to get people to
realize stop using the fact that you
don’t have money as an excuse I
understand everybody else in the world
tells you you need money to make money
and all that other kind of stuff yeah
and I want to give people the mentality
of all right listen I’m gonna need to do
this myself and I think I need to use my
slack resources about the resources that
are right in front of me to get where I
want to go
so now after a lot of people have
responded to that book really well and I
first I thought they were gonna hear how
it broke I don’t want to I don’t want to
be reminded of me being broke or I don’t
want to hear what name was broke
responded to really you know to you know
really amazing way they started I asked
well what are the techniques you know I
mean now and now I have the mentality
what are techniques that you do every
single day and why are you more
successful than this person or this
person more successful this person we
all have the same 24 hours in a day so
that’s when I created this new one rise
& grind and the theory is that listen
every day we’re gonna rise if we’re not
gonna rise we’re dead right that’s your
defense you’re just rising right sure
what your grind is your offense and I’ve
studied I believe I’ve studied dozens of
subjects but I put about 16 subjects in
this new book and they range from
everywhere from award-winning actress
Catherine zeta-jones to Santana Carlos
Santana to our crazy friend Gary Vee –
you know a young man named Kyle Manor
who was born with no arms and no legs
and army army corraled of Mount
Kilimanjaro I’m sure you know as well –
various other people are Brian Lee who
started ShoeDazzle and with with
Kardashians a LegalZoom and then all of
a sudden he does
Ana’s company with the Jessica Alba
that’s right he wanted to be a rapper he
wanted to be a rapper I think he was a
young asian man who told his parents
he’s moving to New York to be a rapper
I’m gonna tell you his rapping name I’ll
let you read the book what you know I
asked him all the same questions and
then some different ones what do you do
the first 90 minutes of your day what do
you do the last 90 minutes of your day
what did you do when you were 20 that
you no longer do when you’re 40 what are
you and you were 20 but you forgot to do
and then when you start doing it again
when you were 40 or 50 you realize what
got you back to this point yeah and I I
would I found probably over 50 things in
there that everybody did in some way or
another very similar whether in the
module Olsteen whether it’s in the
morning they either prayed meditated
mentally like me set a goal and zoned
out they took some time for themselves
yeah and I found various other things
and and it’s amazing and fascinating so
this is what I wanted to create for
people because I want them to either say
I’m on the right track I’m doing
something everybody was laughing at me
when I do this or maybe I should try
this one because this one doesn’t work
as well as this one yeah and I’ve been
using myself a lot of this stuff and
it’s been working for me too has been
helping improve my life and and that’s
I’m a student of my books because I’m
trying to ask them the same exact thing
all the people I put out a post about
you know stop blaming other people stop
right start going to yourself leaving
comments right now it’s super
fascinating of course you you know so my
whole thing is like blame myself for
everything of course there’s other
things that people are doing right like
if somebody runs me over with a car
right now and they were drunk is that my
phone was their fault I get that you can
blame that other person I’m not so much
worried about the actuality of the event
I’m talking about mindset Tyler when are
people that were Stan’s the mindset the
mindset of blaming yourself allows you
to do so much more so when it’s eight
out of ten times on you you’re moving
forward instead of looking backwards
sure the two out of ten but if you just
have that mindset it’s just winner
mindset is it my mindset everybody’s
taking every word I say so practical yes
I understand that there’s issues in the
world like it wasn’t your fault that an
earthquake like drill your house I get
it it’s the mindset to me I’d be like
man I shouldn’t live in California I
don’t know like mindset it helps you
eight out of ten times it’s hard for me
to encourage people to act because I
know the stress and uncertainty and and
nothing’s guaranteed and it’s such a
such a dice roll you know it’s such a
gamble and but you can never tell
somebody not to follow their dreams and
what they want to do so it’s always a
constant toss-up you know I was like I
start out with the negatives like okay
I’m gonna XYZ this is what it is
draw you know like show you you might be
on a 7-eleven diet for a while and it
might sleep out your car I mean I did it
you know I’m saying and and and you
might go on you know hundred auditions
and you might get two callbacks you know
and you gotta have a thick skin you know
it’s a very shallow very vain industry
you know like I said you could be a
great actor great actor have all the
talent but you might not be built for
film you know I’m so yeah and that’s a
harsh way that people don’t that people
can’t take so if I lay out everything
like that and people still want to do it
then I might okay cool let’s go you know
oh you know pass along that alone
infamies good I think that’s my
responsibility to is to tell you you
know it’s easy to see the good stuff
when his successful when it happens the
right way you know when like the the
reward but very rarely people like
really understand like the loathes you
know like how lonely his industry is to
yourself and you know it’s you know it’s
just because you got yourself into a
nervous breakdown yourself into the
person you got yourself into defeatism
the mind is the battleground the fight
is in your mind so I want to challenge
you to waste no more effort wrestling
your destiny your future is not
predicated on the decision of someone
else you’ve wasted too much of your life
trying to change other people’s minds
about you
it doesn’t matter what they think about
you God has not bless you by their
opinion
but somebody say I believe
never
[Applause]
who had a great job you had I remember
you had a great apartment on the Upper
West Side married for a year had been
married for you had not been eating
biscuits for nine months and I’m just
you know how did you go through making
the decision to drop it was a very good
job and take it take this chance it all
seems very obvious now right this many
years later that it paid off but at the
time it was not obvious no no it was and
and and I did do a lot of soul searching
I I went to my boss at the time and I
really liked my job and I told my boss I
was gonna go do this thing start an
internet bookstore and my wife at I’d
already told my wife and she’s like
great let’s go
and I I said to my boss and he’s like
this is a good idea so I think this is a
good idea but would be an even better
idea for somebody who didn’t already
have a good job and that sort of made
some logical sense to me and he
convinced me to think about it for a
couple days so I went away and I was
really trying to get my head around how
to think about this and I think for me
the right way to make that kind of very
personal decision because those
decisions are personal they’re not like
data-driven business decisions there
they are you know what does your heart
say and for me it was I could the best
way to think about it was to project
myself forward to age 80 and said look
when I’m 80 years old I want to have
minimized the number of regrets that I
have I don’t want to be 80 years old in
a quiet moment of reflection thinking
back over my life and and catalog you a
bunch of major regrets and I think that
regrets are biggest regrets in most
cases you can murder somebody okay you’d
regret that but in most cases our
biggest regrets turn out to the acts of
omission its paths not taken and they
haunt us we wonder what would have
happened
I loved that person and I never told him
and then they married somebody else I
didn’t you know I didn’t do this and so
that’s the frame of mind that I put
myself in and I and once I did that once
I thought about that way it was
immediately obvious to me I knew that
when I’m 80 I would never regret trying
this thing
that I was super excited about and
failing if it failed fine I would be
very proud of the fact when I’m 80 that
I tried but Norris have one thing in
common they keep going
they’ll change the rules they’ll
reinvent the rules you know they don’t
just take one answer so a real
entrepreneur he really it makes no
difference which country are in that’s
my belief so why not I love that you
know I mean that’s a mindset you know
it’s you you mess with me I’ll find a
way around it you know I have a friend
is multi Multi multi family rich guy
from France and you know Frances was
communist as it gets 75 percent top line
for million dollar earners
yeah that’s platelets here so he he
started buying vineyards in Napa and
Sonoma so he went back to the French
government he says it’s his wine he says
I want to ship my wine in bulk to
California and the government says you
can’t do that some sort of French
governments and you can’t and
here’s the guy is I think his five
generations
you know French wine guy this guy’s this
guy is an entrepreneur entrepreneur he
says okay I can’t shipping in barrels a
guy goes yeah Isis
okay I’ll shipping bottles baby bottles
all of his stuff it cost him more money
but he still figured out how to do it
Evie Judah I mean and now he has his
wine with his California wine and all
this and so he went back to the French
governance here try this see it was not
better and so now they’re all confused
because he didn’t break any rules so
I’ll say it again entrepreneur is a
mindset first a skill set and rules and
depending upon whether you’re an
employee or small business the roles are
different the mindsets are different the
the champions mindset I think a lot of
people hear the word champion they think
of a famous sports star you might think
of in the US you might think of a
Michael Jordan or LeBron James going and
dunking on somebody but we think of it
differently and we think of it as well
when you get on the field put everything
you have into it put every ounce of
energy you have on the field leave
nothing on the field and to when you get
knocked down because if you’re an
entrepreneur you inevitably you will be
when you see hard times and you get
knocked down get back up and if you keep
putting everything you got into it and
you keep getting back up when you get
knocked down it’s almost impossible to
fail I think I always want to constantly
evolve you know I always want to
constantly grow and everyone that get to
a point where I feel like I got it
figured out you know I always want to
like kind of like push myself to be
better you know and do and do greater
things no matter what it is I mean I
want to be the best I’m a competitor you
know I like to compete you know like
growing out with you know with the name
Michael Jordan and I’ve always had a
certain high pressure pressure on on
myself and and always having to kind of
and I just gotta kind of kind of put an
instant chip on my shoulder I want it
just to be great you know and do great
things and um and then and also help
people man I’m really digging into the
next generation I feel like that’s all I
saw that’s the only way it’s gonna get
better moving forward is if you know you
gotta leave this world in a better place
than it was when you came in you know
I’m born in 87 – question mark I don’t
know when I’m gone and I’m saying but I
want to work on my – and I’m saying I
won’t work on that that time that I’m
here and it is some and I I can’t
make it easier for the next round of
filmmakers and the next round of actors
coming up you know that’s it
and I mean I didn’t I’ll be I’m
continually going out on that I had a
job out of college working for a bank
for a short period of time Mellon Bank
and I am decided to well first it might
have been ink magazine that’s the way
back when but there was an article about
using changing something in how you
deduct social how you save Social
Security from employees paychecks and
literally hadn’t been working there for
three weeks and so I sent it to the CEO
of Mellon Bank hey I thought you might
be interested it’s literally some guy he
never heard of and I got an OPEC said
thank you and nothing and okay you look
my whole job my whole motive in taking a
job working for somebody was to help
them become more profitable that’s the
way I always looked at it and then I
started a rookies Club where I reached
out to some executives and all the
people who had started at the same time
at Mellon Bank we don’t go out and get a
drink and we’d get this executive start
and I didn’t like run it through my boss
or anything and so my boss at the time
calls me in and said you’re doing this
is I said yeah I think he’s gonna say
great it’s just her screaming at me and
Raymond meet how could you do this you
go everything through me you work for me
yeah that’s oh I knew I wasn’t destined
there and then I left
and I went down to ended up down in
Dallas and got a job working for a
company called your business software
and we were we sold software and and I
didn’t know anything about software I
took one computer class at Indiana and
kind of cheated to pass but not that I
condone that but and so I had a customer
and I thought might stay up all night
teach reading I figure you know
computers were new and technology was
new this technology was new so no we had
a head start on me because it was
changing so rapidly like it is today
that if I just put in the time I can
learn as much as anybody else and so I
taught myself I’d stay up late reading
software manuals taught myself different
little simple programming languages and
it kept on getting bigger and bigger and
better and better
but it was at a retail store and one of
my responsibilities was to come in
sweep the floor wipe down the windows
and open the store and I had a customer
who wanted me to come out there and
close the deal and it was a fifteen
thousand dollar deal fifteen hundred
dollar commission to me told my boss he
said no you need to be there to open the
store and I made the executive decision
that I was gonna go get the check
because you know I was living six guys
in a three-bedroom apartment sleeping on
the floor and this check meant I could
like not use the same holiday in towels
with holes in them that I’d stolen you
know mom but anyway so I went and picked
up the check thank you when I came back
and gave the check to my boss all would
be forgiven and you know the sales cures
all fired me fired me and so those
back-to-back experiences confirmed what
I already knew the one thing that is
surprise to you about your life oh one
thing well well I certainly I’m
surprised by the whole thing I wanna see
I certainly didn’t expect to be to be 20
of these things to happen the only
reason I started a company back in 95
and here at company was because I
couldn’t get it there were only a few
internet companies and I couldn’t get a
I try to get a job at at Netscape and
sent my resume and I tried hanging out
in the lobby but I was too shy to talk
to anyone and it was like okay well I
guess I’ll have to start a company
because I can’t get a job anywhere after
college I went to law school for three
years and then into my dream job at a
big New York law firm but even though it
had been my dream I didn’t like it once
I got there for the first time I was
feeling financially secure but I knew I
wasn’t passionate enough about what I
was doing and because I didn’t love it I
would never be fulfilled from it or be
really good at it someone who loved it
more would have greater enthusiasm and
focus for some it was fun for me it was
always going to be a horrible chore
after five years at a law firm I decided
I wanted to try something different I
came home and told my wife I was
quitting and she cried and not out of
happiness anyway it worked out I got a
new job at a small Wall Street firm
having been rejected at every other one
we got out by a larger firm and I ended
up remaining at that large firm Goldman
Sachs don’t think when you get to a
certain level you just know everything
the same as a goal of getting them a
certain amount of money because the
minute you feel you know everything
that’s the only time you’re never gonna
learn anything right because you think
you know everything and it was it’s part
of the process of always trying to
figure myself out
you know and I know everybody’s main
questions work-life balance health you
know working and enjoying life against
working and you know creating something
big you know what I mean
and that is always no matter what
throughout your education process is
something you constantly have to
about somebody comes and says John I
want to be a leader I was asking the
question why why do you want to be a
leader I mean do you want to be a leader
because you want a corner office do you
want to be a leader because you like to
be in control you like to want to be a
leader because you love to be in the
front of the pack
you want to be a leader because you want
to have a good parking place what do you
want to be a leader because leadership
is an easy leadership a lot of times
isn’t fun leadership a lot of times it’s
kind of lonely there’s only one reason
to be a leader and that is to add value
to people and you and I will only add
value to people if we truly value them I
have a nonprofit organization equipped
this trained almost two million leaders
internationally around the world and I
kid you not as I go to developing
countries twice a year and I travel
internationally and I sit down sometimes
I had the privilege of being in the
office there’s a presidents of countries
and as I watch these developing
countries the thing that is the cardinal
sin among leadership so much is that
they have leaders of their countries
that truly don’t value the people and if
you and I don’t value people we will
devalue people number two if you want to
add value to people you have to make
yourself more valuable you just have to
get better you have to keep growing you
have to keep learning you have to keep
developing why very simply if you’re
leading the pack you’ve got to be able
to give what you have and you can’t give
what you don’t have and so therefore
you’ve got to put a lot of good stuff in
so that you can pass it on to others and
share with them and and add value to
them thirdly if you want to add value to
people you have to know and relate to
what other people value you and I have
to walk slowly through the crowd we have
to listen we have to care you see great
leaders are first of all listeners and
then they’re learners and then they’re
leaders
they really do take their cue from the
people they understand that the key of
leadership is connecting with the people
that you lead and the only way that you
and I ever connect is by caring enough
to listen number four is very important
to me when I’m speaking in the business
community I always share with them that
for them there are three ways to add
value to people but for me there are
four and I tell them I’ll give them the
three and then that’s out I’ll spend
maybe an hour doing those three things I
just shared with you just talking about
how to add value to people and
inevitably when I’m done with the three
somebody raise their hands say John you
said they’re for you there was four but
you said there’s only three for us I
said yes it’s nothing personal but this
is about my faith and so I don’t really
need to share this with you it’s because
I’m trying to help you and I I don’t
want to cross boundaries with you and
never ever be they’ll say but John tell
us what yours is and I’ll say well okay
you could hear mine but don’t write it
down
you’re lost and the problem with being
lost is when you’re lost you don’t know
where to go and the problem with not
knowing where to go is there’s a million
places that you could go and a million
places is too many places for you to go
without dying
so being lost is not good so you need to
know where you are and you can kind of
tell if you don’t know where you are
it’s quite straightforward if you are
haunted by reveries of the past for
events that are older than approximately
18 months if they continue to come up in
your mind over and over and your dreams
over and over
you haven’t extracted the world out from
your past experiences the potential is
still trapped in the past and to
confront the potential means to confront
the dragon of the past and of course
that’s terrifying and it can seriously
be terrifying so you’re navigating your
navigator you’re a sailor on an ocean
and that’s what that’s what you are
you’re a mobile creature you’re going
from point A to point B all the time you
know it’s sitting there glued to a rock
like some brainless you know sea
creature there’s a funny little creature
called a Hydra very simple little
creature in its juvenile stage it has a
brain because it swims around but then
when it turns into an adult it latches
itself to a rock and promptly digests
its brain because if you’re just sitting
on a rock and you’re not moving you
don’t need a brain so but that’s not our
issue right we’re we’re zipping around
in the world and so we’re navigating
agents so to navigate there’s two things
you need to know the first is where the
hell are you exactly precisely right
razorsharp what’s good about you and
what’s bad about you by your own by your
own reckoning you don’t have to you can
ask other people but this is a game you
play yourself it’s like as far as I’m
concerned I’m taking star what is it
that’s okay about me and what needs some
work and you got to watch to not be too
self-critical when you’re doing that too
because that can just be another kind of
flaw here’s my assignment for if you
want one if you want to go from
conversation to some action here’s a
simple thing to do what’s an area your
life right now that you really want
improve what’s an area that’s important
to improve it’s your body’s great
career is great about your relationship
intimate one especially or your kids or
your relationship with your Creator
spiritual side of your life or is it
your finances figure an area that really
matters decide on that area number one
write down what your life is like in
that area right now as specifically as
possible so you might say well I’m 13.5
pounds overweight you know whatever the
way it is whatever the situation is or
my body fat like this or I’m wake up
exhausted in the morning and you write
the truth of where you are right now
so you’re real clear or I’m not in a
relationship I say I want a relationship
but I I’m not in one I don’t seem to
find them all the good ones seem to be
gone is my belief you know and I really
do want one but I don’t have it whatever
your definition well I’m in a
relationship and god I wish I wasn’t in
a relationship I’m planning my escape
wherever you are or I have a wonderful
relationship we love each other but
there just isn’t enough passion just
like the truth of where you are the air
you want to change what right how it is
and then the second step is that’s where
you got to be really honest with
yourself what are the rituals that have
put me there because whatever results
you’re getting even if you don’t like
the results there’s some rituals that
are keeping you in that place there’s
some rituals of what you eat or don’t
eat how you move or don’t move how you
sleep or don’t sleep there’s some
rituals and the lack of variety or spice
or energy or focus in an area there’s
something you’re doing and it’s usually
not one thing it’s a bunch of little
things they kind of do consistently
whatever you think about getting in a
relationship whatever you think about
working out whenever you think about
money and get yourself in a state of
overwhelm you start thinking about all
the things you can’t control just write
down all the rituals you have and then
here’s the third step what do you want
what’s your vision and be really
specific I want to be my fighting weight
I want to be the strongest I’ve ever
felt I want to be I’m gonna turn my
whatever it is be specific and then last
step number four what are the rituals
that will get you there what would you
need it differently each morning if
you’re going to be that kind of energy
that kind of strength how would you have
to – would you work out what days would
you work out what time a ritual is
something you do consistently usually at
a specific time so becomes automatic let
me tell you something
willpower doesn’t last but rituals can
last a lifetime I bet you have some
rituals in your life right now you’ve
been doing
years even though some of them don’t
serve you I’m just saying wake yourself
up make if you want a new year and a new
life you don’t need to start in January
first start today start with this little
video and just begin to see what happens
and see how easy it is to just do a few
little rituals don’t do them all just do
two or three new things and you know
what happens you’ll get momentum because
once you discipline yourself in one area
your life you feel yourself doing in
other areas as well I always say
something that my original teacher
taught me I always remind people there’s
always two pains in life there’s the
pain of discipline or as the pain of
regret and discipline weighs ounces as
my friend Jim Rohn taught me regret
weighs tons you don’t have regret so
right now what do you want to change
what’s it really like one of the rituals
that got you there that will take a
little homework if you’re not sure ask
the people around you they’ll tell you
what your rituals are what do I really
want in depth where the rituals that
will get me there and then get yourself
to start a few those actions and lock
discipline creates freedom that’s it you
have to be disciplined you have to have
a method you have to act learn and
repeat and you have to keep figuring it
out you know Pete this book is not gonna
this book is not going to give you the
answers to life this book is going to
give you a technique to act on it and
then next year you may have to switch
that technique up and use something else
in there because people always ask us
the same thing how do you have work/life
balance
you know how do you take care you know
how do you advance your company but yet
pay attention to the to the to the
customer that really is taking care of
you but are we you’re gonna move into
this new area like without ignoring them
how do you get good management
underneath you how do you you know cash
flow is always an issue how do you
increase sales or reduce cost how do you
gain new customers in the world you know
what do you do with your kids how do you
spoil the kids or not spoil your kids
make you know we all have the same exact
time so what we have to do is look at
these techniques and create a bunch of
discipline disciplinary actions and
you’ll see what works out what doesn’t
but some things are not gonna work you
or clear you are about exactly what it
is you want the more your brain knows
how to get there
your brain is a servomechanism it’s like
a bomb those bombs those missiles they
have a servomechanism so if the target
moves it knows what the target is it
follows it your brain when you condition
it knows exactly what to go for it will
find a way to get there cheaper by a
certain outfit or a certain car and
suddenly see that car outfit everywhere
how many had that experience say how
come that carpets everywhere it always
was everywhere but now you notice it and
reason because there’s a part of your
brain called the reticular activating
system the RAS that part of your brain
determines what you notice and what you
don’t notice your brain spends most of
its time trying to make sure you don’t
notice because you’ll go crazy if you
notice everything but when you decide
what’s most important to you your brain
goes after it
everyone I know successful have builds
what I call an RPM plan and RPM is being
built on the metaphor that the way to
get from where you are to where do you
want to go to the fastest is you got to
build power like in a car rpms and the R
stands for they know the result they’re
after they know what they want precisely
if you don’t know exactly what you want
or you let yourself get beyond that into
something general you’re not gonna
achieve it clarity is power you got to
know the specific result you have to
what do you want if you can’t answer
that question right now in your personal
life in your body in your relationships
and your finances and your spirituality
then you’re not going to be as fulfilled
as you want to be obsession without a
more value than anybody else ever
dreamed of I mean my entire life from
the very beginning days was how do I do
more for others than anyone else on
earth how do I give them experiences
that are lasting how do I great change
what change was impossible how do I take
something from the therapy for seven
years in an hour produced that result
and the way I did that was my
challenging traditional psychologists
and psychiatrists and getting on
national radio and saying giving you
were stationed on handle in an hour
which was pretty abrasive you know as a
young kid do you buy all that stuff but
the best part was I backed it up and so
one of the first interventions I did was
in Vancouver British Columbia Canada on
the radio and this psychiatrist got on
the phone and just on the radio I just
passionate you are a liar you’re a
charlatan people like you should not be
allowed on the radio and I said sir I
said I said are you you know a scientist
is to the course of a physician I said
well scientists would never make it a
sump ssin you’ve never met me right now
you’ve never be my clients no and you’re
calling me a liar on national radio I
said she must be stating your hypothesis
your hypothesis is that I’m a liar mr.
are looking if you’re stating hypothesis
and your truth is scientists you got to
be willing to test it
am i right yeah yeah it’s great I’m
doing a free guest event the collodion
tomorrow night anyone hearing my voice
can come I went into a series of
demonstrations and I’m gonna take one of
your clients and turn around I said
share with me somebody that you’ve never
been able to change I said I’m sure you
got plenty of those you wanna play
hardball because what a lot of patients
that are being to change and I said I
haven’t found any because I’ve done
three therapies total but I had silver
fleas so long story short he told me
this woman he’d been working on for
seven years what a snake phobia a phobia
is not just a fear it’s a bunny control
response to fear so like she dreamed the
snake would bite her on the face and
then the adrenaline shoots her body
awake around and there’s a nap in four
to seven times a night seven years so
you know he was put in the corner and
said he brought her down it took me
about 15 minutes at the end of it
I tested version she’s Romanian shaking
and then I wrapped the snake around her
and that changed my entire career
because in that moment everything there
was no question everybody saw this woman
is transformed I said you’ve been
treated but that’s like nitrogen how
many years then I took on sports stars
that I could turn around you know I did
its work with Mother Teresa
Nelson Mandela and I just don’t think it
was a few times that I thought I I
booked it like for sure and you didn’t
like just being heartbroken and now you
know having my mom and my dad I kind of
pick up the pieces and I think that that
was the you know the few times that they
actually you know started to question
themselves are we doing the right thing
by letting them do it and do this and
try to act and take on this this
profession that you know such a gamble
as a lottery you know such a lottery and
[Music]
you just train yourself to like manage
your expectations for the most part when
it comes to auditions I used I know a
system that I started doing was like
after the audition after I left out I’ll
just throw my sides away you know they
really want me I’ll just print them out
again you know I’ll go out and I’ll go
through the hassle go to Kinko’s and
have a print at the timing and print him
on again and that was just my way of
training myself to just forget about it
when you leave you know it’s not the
side of your hands you DUP you’ve done
all you can do worrying about it it’s
not gonna excuse me help you get the job
so um I mean it’s tough you know when it
has nothing to do with you you know you
something could be you’ve got the most
talent in the world feel as though
you’re perfect for it and still not get
it because you know maybe the other lead
is a little too tall and you you know
and you guys don’t complement each other
well on-screen that’s nothing to do
whatsoever and I’m just kind of wrapping
your head around the process and knowing
that it’s completely out of your hands
well it’s just easier for you to kind of
but you had a great job you had I
remember you had a great apartment on
the Upper West Side married for a year
had been married for you had not been
eating biscuits for nine months and I’m
just you know how did you go through
making the decision to drop it was a
very good job and take it take this
chance it all seems very obvious now
right this many years later that it paid
off but at the time it was not obvious
no no it was and and and I did do a lot
of soul searching I I went to my boss at
the time and I really liked my job and I
told my boss I was gonna go do this
thing start an internet bookstore and my
wife at I’d already told my wife and
she’s like great let’s go and I I said
to my boss is gonna do this he’s like
this is a good idea so I think this is a
good idea but would be an even better
idea for somebody who didn’t already
have a good job and that sort of made
some logical sense to me and he
convinced me to think about it for a
couple of days so I went away I was
really trying to get my head around how
to think about this and I think for me
the right way to make that kind of very
personal decision because those
decisions are personal they’re not like
data-driven business decisions there
they are you know what does your heart
say and for me it was I could the best
way to think about it was to project
myself forward to age 80 and said look
when I’m 80 years old I want to have
minimized the number of regrets that I
have I don’t want to be 80 years old in
a quiet moment of reflection thinking
back over my life and and cataloging a
bunch of major regrets and I think that
regrets our biggest regrets in most
cases you can murder somebody okay you
regret that but in most cases our
biggest regrets turn out to the acts of
omission its paths not taken and they
haunt us we wonder what would have
happened I loved that person and I never
told him and then they married somebody
else I did you know I didn’t do this
and so that’s the frame of mind that I
put myself in and I and once I did that
once I thought about that way it was
immediately obvious to me I knew
that when I’m 80 I would never regret
trying this thing that I was super
excited about and failing if it failed
fine I would be very proud of the fact when I’m 80 that I tried
thought I I booked it like for sure and
you didn’t even like just being
heartbroken and you know I having my mom
and my dad kind of pick up the pieces
and I think that that was the you know
the few times that they actually started
the question themselves are we doing the
right thing by letting them do it and do
this and try to act and take on this
this profession that you know it’s such
a gamble as a lottery you know such a
lottery and you just train yourself to
like manage your expectations for the
most part when it comes to auditions I
used I know a system that I started
doing with like after the audition after
I left out I’ll just throw my sides away
you know they really want me I’ll just
print them out again you know I’ll go
out and I’ll go to the house we’ll go to
Kinko’s and cuz I have a printed the
timing and print him on again and that
was just my way of training myself to
just forget about it when you leave you
know it’s nothing side of your hands
you’d up you’ve done all you can do
worrying about it it’s not gonna excuse
me help you get the job so um I mean
it’s tough you know when it has nothing
to do with you you know you got the most
talent in the world feel as though
you’re perfect for it and still not get
it because you know maybe the other lead
is a little too tall and you you know
you guys don’t complement each other
well on-screen that’s nothing to do with
you whatsoever and I’m just kind of
wrapping your head around the process
and knowing that it’s completely out of
your hands well it’s just easier for you
to kind of let go and move on to the
next thing and I wanted to get people to
realize stop using the fact that you
don’t have money as an excuse I
understand everybody else in the world
tells you you need money to make money
and all that other kind of stuff yeah
and I want to give people the mentality
of all right listen I’m gonna need to do
this myself and I think I need to use my
slack resources about the resources that
are right in front of me to get where I
want to go
so now after a lot of people have
responded to that book really well and I
first I thought they were gonna hear how
it broke I don’t want to I don’t want to
be reminded of me being broke or I don’t
want to hear what name was broke
responded to really you know to you know
really amazing way they started I asked
well what are the techniques you know I
mean now and now I have the mentality
what are techniques that you do every
single day and why are you more
successful than this person or this
person more successful this person we
all have the same 24 hours in a day so
that’s when I created this new one rise
& grind and the theory is that listen
every day we’re gonna rise if we’re not
gonna rise we’re dead right that’s your
defense you’re just rising right sure
what your grind is your offense and I’ve
studied I believe I’ve studied dozens of
subjects but I put about 16 subjects in
this new book and they range from
everywhere from award-winning actress
Catherine zeta-jones to Santana Carlos
Santana to our crazy friend Gary Vee –
you know a young man named Kyle Manor
who was born with no arms and no legs
and army army corraled of Mount
Kilimanjaro I’m sure you know as well –
various other people are Brian Lee who
started ShoeDazzle and with with
Kardashians a LegalZoom and then all of
a sudden he does
Ana’s company with the Jessica Alba
that’s right he wanted to be a rapper he
wanted to be a rapper I think he was a
young asian man who told his parents
he’s moving to New York to be a rapper
I’m gonna tell you his rapping name I’ll
let you read the book what you know I
asked him all the same questions and
then some different ones what do you do
the first 90 minutes of your day what do
you do the last 90 minutes of your day
what did you do when you were 20 that
you no longer do when you’re 40 what are
you and you were 20 but you forgot to do
and then when you start doing it again
when you were 40 or 50 you realize what
got you back to this point yeah and I I
would I found probably over 50 things in
there that everybody did in some way or
another very similar whether in the
module Olsteen whether it’s in the
morning they either prayed meditated
mentally like me set a goal and zoned
out they took some time for themselves
yeah and I found various other things
and and it’s amazing and fascinating so
this is what I wanted to create for
people because I want them to either say
I’m on the right track I’m doing
something everybody was laughing at me
when I do this or maybe I should try
this one because this one doesn’t work
as well as this one yeah and I’ve been
using myself a lot of this stuff and
it’s been working for me too has been
helping improve my life and and that’s
I’m a student of my books because I’m
trying to ask them the same exact thing
all the people I put out a post about
you know stop blaming other people stop
right start going to yourself leaving
comments right now it’s super
fascinating of course you you know so my
whole thing is like blame myself for
everything of course there’s other
things that people are doing right like
if somebody runs me over with a car
right now and they were drunk is that my
phone was their fault I get that you can
blame that other person I’m not so much
worried about the actuality of the event
I’m talking about mindset Tyler when are
people that were Stan’s the mindset the
mindset of blaming yourself allows you
to do so much more so when it’s eight
out of ten times on you you’re moving
forward instead of looking backwards
sure the two out of ten but if you just
have that mindset it’s just winner
mindset is it my mindset everybody’s
taking every word I say so practical yes
I understand that there’s issues in the
world like it wasn’t your fault that an
earthquake like drill your house I get
it it’s the mindset to me I’d be like
man I shouldn’t live in California I
don’t know like mindset it helps you
eight out of ten times it’s hard for me
to encourage people to act because I
know the stress and uncertainty and and
nothing’s guaranteed and it’s such a
such a dice roll you know it’s such a
gamble and but you can never tell
somebody not to follow their dreams and
what they want to do so it’s always a
constant toss-up you know I was like I
start out with the negatives like okay
I’m gonna XYZ this is what it is
draw you know like show you you might be
on a 7-eleven diet for a while and it
might sleep out your car I mean I did it
you know I’m saying and and and you
might go on you know hundred auditions
and you might get two callbacks you know
and you gotta have a thick skin you know
it’s a very shallow very vain industry
you know like I said you could be a
great actor great actor have all the
talent but you might not be built for
film you know I’m so yeah and that’s a
harsh way that people don’t that people
can’t take so if I lay out everything
like that and people still want to do it
then I might okay cool let’s go you know
oh you know pass along that alone
infamies good I think that’s my
responsibility to is to tell you you
know it’s easy to see the good stuff
when his successful when it happens the
right way you know when like the the
reward but very rarely people like
really understand like the loathes you
know like how lonely his industry is to
yourself and you know it’s you know it’s
just because you got yourself into a
nervous breakdown yourself into the
person you got yourself into defeatism
the mind is the battleground the fight
is in your mind so I want to challenge
you to waste no more effort wrestling
your destiny your future is not
predicated on the decision of someone
else you’ve wasted too much of your life
trying to change other people’s minds
about you
it doesn’t matter what they think about
you God has not bless you by their
opinion
but somebody say I believe
never
[Applause]
who had a great job you had I remember
you had a great apartment on the Upper
West Side married for a year had been
married for you had not been eating
biscuits for nine months and I’m just
you know how did you go through making
the decision to drop it was a very good
job and take it take this chance it all
seems very obvious now right this many
years later that it paid off but at the
time it was not obvious no no it was and
and and I did do a lot of soul searching
I I went to my boss at the time and I
really liked my job and I told my boss I
was gonna go do this thing start an
internet bookstore and my wife at I’d
already told my wife and she’s like
great let’s go
and I I said to my boss and he’s like
this is a good idea so I think this is a
good idea but would be an even better
idea for somebody who didn’t already
have a good job and that sort of made
some logical sense to me and he
convinced me to think about it for a
couple days so I went away and I was
really trying to get my head around how
to think about this and I think for me
the right way to make that kind of very
personal decision because those
decisions are personal they’re not like
data-driven business decisions there
they are you know what does your heart
say and for me it was I could the best
way to think about it was to project
myself forward to age 80 and said look
when I’m 80 years old I want to have
minimized the number of regrets that I
have I don’t want to be 80 years old in
a quiet moment of reflection thinking
back over my life and and catalog you a
bunch of major regrets and I think that
regrets are biggest regrets in most
cases you can murder somebody okay you’d
regret that but in most cases our
biggest regrets turn out to the acts of
omission its paths not taken and they
haunt us we wonder what would have
happened
I loved that person and I never told him
and then they married somebody else I
didn’t you know I didn’t do this and so
that’s the frame of mind that I put
myself in and I and once I did that once
I thought about that way it was
immediately obvious to me I knew that
when I’m 80 I would never regret trying
this thing
that I was super excited about and
failing if it failed fine I would be
very proud of the fact when I’m 80 that
I tried but Norris have one thing in
common they keep going
they’ll change the rules they’ll
reinvent the rules you know they don’t
just take one answer so a real
entrepreneur he really it makes no
difference which country are in that’s
my belief so why not I love that you
know I mean that’s a mindset you know
it’s you you mess with me I’ll find a
way around it you know I have a friend
is multi Multi multi family rich guy
from France and you know Frances was
communist as it gets 75 percent top line
for million dollar earners
yeah that’s platelets here so he he
started buying vineyards in Napa and
Sonoma so he went back to the French
government he says it’s his wine he says
I want to ship my wine in bulk to
California and the government says you
can’t do that some sort of French
governments and you can’t and
here’s the guy is I think his five
generations
you know French wine guy this guy’s this
guy is an entrepreneur entrepreneur he
says okay I can’t shipping in barrels a
guy goes yeah Isis
okay I’ll shipping bottles baby bottles
all of his stuff it cost him more money
but he still figured out how to do it
Evie Judah I mean and now he has his
wine with his California wine and all
this and so he went back to the French
governance here try this see it was not
better and so now they’re all confused
because he didn’t break any rules so
I’ll say it again entrepreneur is a
mindset first a skill set and rules and
depending upon whether you’re an
employee or small business the roles are
different the mindsets are different the
the champions mindset I think a lot of
people hear the word champion they think
of a famous sports star you might think
of in the US you might think of a
Michael Jordan or LeBron James going and
dunking on somebody but we think of it
differently and we think of it as well
when you get on the field put everything
you have into it put every ounce of
energy you have on the field leave
nothing on the field and to when you get
knocked down because if you’re an
entrepreneur you inevitably you will be
when you see hard times and you get
knocked down get back up and if you keep
putting everything you got into it and
you keep getting back up when you get
knocked down it’s almost impossible to
fail I think I always want to constantly
evolve you know I always want to
constantly grow and everyone that get to
a point where I feel like I got it
figured out you know I always want to
like kind of like push myself to be
better you know and do and do greater
things no matter what it is I mean I
want to be the best I’m a competitor you
know I like to compete you know like
growing out with you know with the name
Michael Jordan and I’ve always had a
certain high pressure pressure on on
myself and and always having to kind of
and I just gotta kind of kind of put an
instant chip on my shoulder I want it
just to be great you know and do great
things and um and then and also help
people man I’m really digging into the
next generation I feel like that’s all I
saw that’s the only way it’s gonna get
better moving forward is if you know you
gotta leave this world in a better place
than it was when you came in you know
I’m born in 87 – question mark I don’t
know when I’m gone and I’m saying but I
want to work on my – and I’m saying I
won’t work on that that time that I’m
here and it is some and I I can’t
make it easier for the next round of
filmmakers and the next round of actors
coming up you know that’s it
and I mean I didn’t I’ll be I’m
continually going out on that I had a
job out of college working for a bank
for a short period of time Mellon Bank
and I am decided to well first it might
have been ink magazine that’s the way
back when but there was an article about
using changing something in how you
deduct social how you save Social
Security from employees paychecks and
literally hadn’t been working there for
three weeks and so I sent it to the CEO
of Mellon Bank hey I thought you might
be interested it’s literally some guy he
never heard of and I got an OPEC said
thank you and nothing and okay you look
my whole job my whole motive in taking a
job working for somebody was to help
them become more profitable that’s the
way I always looked at it and then I
started a rookies Club where I reached
out to some executives and all the
people who had started at the same time
at Mellon Bank we don’t go out and get a
drink and we’d get this executive start
and I didn’t like run it through my boss
or anything and so my boss at the time
calls me in and said you’re doing this
is I said yeah I think he’s gonna say
great it’s just her screaming at me and
Raymond meet how could you do this you
go everything through me you work for me
yeah that’s oh I knew I wasn’t destined
there and then I left
and I went down to ended up down in
Dallas and got a job working for a
company called your business software
and we were we sold software and and I
didn’t know anything about software I
took one computer class at Indiana and
kind of cheated to pass but not that I
condone that but and so I had a customer
and I thought might stay up all night
teach reading I figure you know
computers were new and technology was
new this technology was new so no we had
a head start on me because it was
changing so rapidly like it is today
that if I just put in the time I can
learn as much as anybody else and so I
taught myself I’d stay up late reading
software manuals taught myself different
little simple programming languages and
it kept on getting bigger and bigger and
better and better
but it was at a retail store and one of
my responsibilities was to come in
sweep the floor wipe down the windows
and open the store and I had a customer
who wanted me to come out there and
close the deal and it was a fifteen
thousand dollar deal fifteen hundred
dollar commission to me told my boss he
said no you need to be there to open the
store and I made the executive decision
that I was gonna go get the check
because you know I was living six guys
in a three-bedroom apartment sleeping on
the floor and this check meant I could
like not use the same holiday in towels
with holes in them that I’d stolen you
know mom but anyway so I went and picked
up the check thank you when I came back
and gave the check to my boss all would
be forgiven and you know the sales cures
all fired me fired me and so those
back-to-back experiences confirmed what
I already knew the one thing that is
surprise to you about your life oh one
thing well well I certainly I’m
surprised by the whole thing I wanna see
I certainly didn’t expect to be to be 20
of these things to happen the only
reason I started a company back in 95
and here at company was because I
couldn’t get it there were only a few
internet companies and I couldn’t get a
I try to get a job at at Netscape and
sent my resume and I tried hanging out
in the lobby but I was too shy to talk
to anyone and it was like okay well I
guess I’ll have to start a company
because I can’t get a job anywhere after
college I went to law school for three
years and then into my dream job at a
big New York law firm but even though it
had been my dream I didn’t like it once
I got there for the first time I was
feeling financially secure but I knew I
wasn’t passionate enough about what I
was doing and because I didn’t love it I
would never be fulfilled from it or be
really good at it someone who loved it
more would have greater enthusiasm and
focus for some it was fun for me it was
always going to be a horrible chore
after five years at a law firm I decided
I wanted to try something different I
came home and told my wife I was
quitting and she cried and not out of
happiness anyway it worked out I got a
new job at a small Wall Street firm
having been rejected at every other one
we got out by a larger firm and I ended
up remaining at that large firm Goldman
Sachs don’t think when you get to a
certain level you just know everything
the same as a goal of getting them a
certain amount of money because the
minute you feel you know everything
that’s the only time you’re never gonna
learn anything right because you think
you know everything and it was it’s part
of the process of always trying to
figure myself out
you know and I know everybody’s main
questions work-life balance health you
know working and enjoying life against
working and you know creating something
big you know what I mean
and that is always no matter what
throughout your education process is
something you constantly have to
about somebody comes and says John I
want to be a leader I was asking the
question why why do you want to be a
leader I mean do you want to be a leader
because you want a corner office do you
want to be a leader because you like to
be in control you like to want to be a
leader because you love to be in the
front of the pack
you want to be a leader because you want
to have a good parking place what do you
want to be a leader because leadership
is an easy leadership a lot of times
isn’t fun leadership a lot of times it’s
kind of lonely there’s only one reason
to be a leader and that is to add value
to people and you and I will only add
value to people if we truly value them I
have a nonprofit organization equipped
this trained almost two million leaders
internationally around the world and I
kid you not as I go to developing
countries twice a year and I travel
internationally and I sit down sometimes
I had the privilege of being in the
office there’s a presidents of countries
and as I watch these developing
countries the thing that is the cardinal
sin among leadership so much is that
they have leaders of their countries
that truly don’t value the people and if
you and I don’t value people we will
devalue people number two if you want to
add value to people you have to make
yourself more valuable you just have to
get better you have to keep growing you
have to keep learning you have to keep
developing why very simply if you’re
leading the pack you’ve got to be able
to give what you have and you can’t give
what you don’t have and so therefore
you’ve got to put a lot of good stuff in
so that you can pass it on to others and
share with them and and add value to
them thirdly if you want to add value to
people you have to know and relate to
what other people value you and I have
to walk slowly through the crowd we have
to listen we have to care you see great
leaders are first of all listeners and
then they’re learners and then they’re
leaders
they really do take their cue from the
people they understand that the key of
leadership is connecting with the people
that you lead and the only way that you
and I ever connect is by caring enough
to listen number four is very important
to me when I’m speaking in the business
community I always share with them that
for them there are three ways to add
value to people but for me there are
four and I tell them I’ll give them the
three and then that’s out I’ll spend
maybe an hour doing those three things I
just shared with you just talking about
how to add value to people and
inevitably when I’m done with the three
somebody raise their hands say John you
said they’re for you there was four but
you said there’s only three for us I
said yes it’s nothing personal but this
is about my faith and so I don’t really
need to share this with you it’s because
I’m trying to help you and I I don’t
want to cross boundaries with you and
never ever be they’ll say but John tell
us what yours is and I’ll say well okay
you could hear mine but don’t write it
down
you’re lost and the problem with being
lost is when you’re lost you don’t know
where to go and the problem with not
knowing where to go is there’s a million
places that you could go and a million
places is too many places for you to go
without dying
so being lost is not good so you need to
know where you are and you can kind of
tell if you don’t know where you are
it’s quite straightforward if you are
haunted by reveries of the past for
events that are older than approximately
18 months if they continue to come up in
your mind over and over and your dreams
over and over
you haven’t extracted the world out from
your past experiences the potential is
still trapped in the past and to
confront the potential means to confront
the dragon of the past and of course
that’s terrifying and it can seriously
be terrifying so you’re navigating your
navigator you’re a sailor on an ocean
and that’s what that’s what you are
you’re a mobile creature you’re going
from point A to point B all the time you
know it’s sitting there glued to a rock
like some brainless you know sea
creature there’s a funny little creature
called a Hydra very simple little
creature in its juvenile stage it has a
brain because it swims around but then
when it turns into an adult it latches
itself to a rock and promptly digests
its brain because if you’re just sitting
on a rock and you’re not moving you
don’t need a brain so but that’s not our
issue right we’re we’re zipping around
in the world and so we’re navigating
agents so to navigate there’s two things
you need to know the first is where the
hell are you exactly precisely right
razorsharp what’s good about you and
what’s bad about you by your own by your
own reckoning you don’t have to you can
ask other people but this is a game you
play yourself it’s like as far as I’m
concerned I’m taking star what is it
that’s okay about me and what needs some
work and you got to watch to not be too
self-critical when you’re doing that too
because that can just be another kind of
flaw here’s my assignment for if you
want one if you want to go from
conversation to some action here’s a
simple thing to do what’s an area your
life right now that you really want
improve what’s an area that’s important
to improve it’s your body’s great
career is great about your relationship
intimate one especially or your kids or
your relationship with your Creator
spiritual side of your life or is it
your finances figure an area that really
matters decide on that area number one
write down what your life is like in
that area right now as specifically as
possible so you might say well I’m 13.5
pounds overweight you know whatever the
way it is whatever the situation is or
my body fat like this or I’m wake up
exhausted in the morning and you write
the truth of where you are right now
so you’re real clear or I’m not in a
relationship I say I want a relationship
but I I’m not in one I don’t seem to
find them all the good ones seem to be
gone is my belief you know and I really
do want one but I don’t have it whatever
your definition well I’m in a
relationship and god I wish I wasn’t in
a relationship I’m planning my escape
wherever you are or I have a wonderful
relationship we love each other but
there just isn’t enough passion just
like the truth of where you are the air
you want to change what right how it is
and then the second step is that’s where
you got to be really honest with
yourself what are the rituals that have
put me there because whatever results
you’re getting even if you don’t like
the results there’s some rituals that
are keeping you in that place there’s
some rituals of what you eat or don’t
eat how you move or don’t move how you
sleep or don’t sleep there’s some
rituals and the lack of variety or spice
or energy or focus in an area there’s
something you’re doing and it’s usually
not one thing it’s a bunch of little
things they kind of do consistently
whatever you think about getting in a
relationship whatever you think about
working out whenever you think about
money and get yourself in a state of
overwhelm you start thinking about all
the things you can’t control just write
down all the rituals you have and then
here’s the third step what do you want
what’s your vision and be really
specific I want to be my fighting weight
I want to be the strongest I’ve ever
felt I want to be I’m gonna turn my
whatever it is be specific and then last
step number four what are the rituals
that will get you there what would you
need it differently each morning if
you’re going to be that kind of energy
that kind of strength how would you have
to – would you work out what days would
you work out what time a ritual is
something you do consistently usually at
a specific time so becomes automatic let
me tell you something
willpower doesn’t last but rituals can
last a lifetime I bet you have some
rituals in your life right now you’ve
been doing
years even though some of them don’t
serve you I’m just saying wake yourself
up make if you want a new year and a new
life you don’t need to start in January
first start today start with this little
video and just begin to see what happens
and see how easy it is to just do a few
little rituals don’t do them all just do
two or three new things and you know
what happens you’ll get momentum because
once you discipline yourself in one area
your life you feel yourself doing in
other areas as well I always say
something that my original teacher
taught me I always remind people there’s
always two pains in life there’s the
pain of discipline or as the pain of
regret and discipline weighs ounces as
my friend Jim Rohn taught me regret
weighs tons you don’t have regret so
right now what do you want to change
what’s it really like one of the rituals
that got you there that will take a
little homework if you’re not sure ask
the people around you they’ll tell you
what your rituals are what do I really
want in depth where the rituals that
will get me there and then get yourself
to start a few those actions and lock
discipline creates freedom that’s it you
have to be disciplined you have to have
a method you have to act learn and
repeat and you have to keep figuring it
out you know Pete this book is not gonna
this book is not going to give you the
answers to life this book is going to
give you a technique to act on it and
then next year you may have to switch
that technique up and use something else
in there because people always ask us
the same thing how do you have work/life
balance
you know how do you take care you know
how do you advance your company but yet
pay attention to the to the to the
customer that really is taking care of
you but are we you’re gonna move into
this new area like without ignoring them
how do you get good management
underneath you how do you you know cash
flow is always an issue how do you
increase sales or reduce cost how do you
gain new customers in the world you know
what do you do with your kids how do you
spoil the kids or not spoil your kids
make you know we all have the same exact
time so what we have to do is look at
these techniques and create a bunch of
discipline disciplinary actions and
you’ll see what works out what doesn’t
but some things are not gonna work you
or clear you are about exactly what it
is you want the more your brain knows
how to get there
your brain is a servomechanism it’s like
a bomb those bombs those missiles they
have a servomechanism so if the target
moves it knows what the target is it
follows it your brain when you condition
it knows exactly what to go for it will
find a way to get there cheaper by a
certain outfit or a certain car and
suddenly see that car outfit everywhere
how many had that experience say how
come that carpets everywhere it always
was everywhere but now you notice it and
reason because there’s a part of your
brain called the reticular activating
system the RAS that part of your brain
determines what you notice and what you
don’t notice your brain spends most of
its time trying to make sure you don’t
notice because you’ll go crazy if you
notice everything but when you decide
what’s most important to you your brain
goes after it
everyone I know successful have builds
what I call an RPM plan and RPM is being
built on the metaphor that the way to
get from where you are to where do you
want to go to the fastest is you got to
build power like in a car rpms and the R
stands for they know the result they’re
after they know what they want precisely
if you don’t know exactly what you want
or you let yourself get beyond that into
something general you’re not gonna
achieve it clarity is power you got to
know the specific result you have to
what do you want if you can’t answer
that question right now in your personal
life in your body in your relationships
and your finances and your spirituality
then you’re not going to be as fulfilled
as you want to be obsession without a
more value than anybody else ever
dreamed of I mean my entire life from
the very beginning days was how do I do
more for others than anyone else on
earth how do I give them experiences
that are lasting how do I great change
what change was impossible how do I take
something from the therapy for seven
years in an hour produced that result
and the way I did that was my
challenging traditional psychologists
and psychiatrists and getting on
national radio and saying giving you
were stationed on handle in an hour
which was pretty abrasive you know as a
young kid do you buy all that stuff but
the best part was I backed it up and so
one of the first interventions I did was
in Vancouver British Columbia Canada on
the radio and this psychiatrist got on
the phone and just on the radio I just
passionate you are a liar you’re a
charlatan people like you should not be
allowed on the radio and I said sir I
said I said are you you know a scientist
is to the course of a physician I said
well scientists would never make it a
sump ssin you’ve never met me right now
you’ve never be my clients no and you’re
calling me a liar on national radio I
said she must be stating your hypothesis
your hypothesis is that I’m a liar mr.
are looking if you’re stating hypothesis
and your truth is scientists you got to
be willing to test it
am i right yeah yeah it’s great I’m
doing a free guest event the collodion
tomorrow night anyone hearing my voice
can come I went into a series of
demonstrations and I’m gonna take one of
your clients and turn around I said
share with me somebody that you’ve never
been able to change I said I’m sure you
got plenty of those you wanna play
hardball because what a lot of patients
that are being to change and I said I
haven’t found any because I’ve done
three therapies total but I had silver
fleas so long story short he told me
this woman he’d been working on for
seven years what a snake phobia a phobia
is not just a fear it’s a bunny control
response to fear so like she dreamed the
snake would bite her on the face and
then the adrenaline shoots her body
awake around and there’s a nap in four
to seven times a night seven years so
you know he was put in the corner and
said he brought her down it took me
about 15 minutes at the end of it
I tested version she’s Romanian shaking
and then I wrapped the snake around her
and that changed my entire career
because in that moment everything there
was no question everybody saw this woman
is transformed I said you’ve been
treated but that’s like nitrogen how
many years then I took on sports stars
that I could turn around you know I did
its work with Mother Teresa
Nelson Mandela and I just don’t think it
was a few times that I thought I I
booked it like for sure and you didn’t
like just being heartbroken and now you
know having my mom and my dad I kind of
pick up the pieces and I think that that
was the you know the few times that they
actually you know started to question
themselves are we doing the right thing
by letting them do it and do this and
try to act and take on this this
profession that you know such a gamble
as a lottery you know such a lottery and
[Music]
you just train yourself to like manage
your expectations for the most part when
it comes to auditions I used I know a
system that I started doing was like
after the audition after I left out I’ll
just throw my sides away you know they
really want me I’ll just print them out
again you know I’ll go out and I’ll go
through the hassle go to Kinko’s and
have a print at the timing and print him
on again and that was just my way of
training myself to just forget about it
when you leave you know it’s not the
side of your hands you DUP you’ve done
all you can do worrying about it it’s
not gonna excuse me help you get the job
so um I mean it’s tough you know when it
has nothing to do with you you know you
something could be you’ve got the most
talent in the world feel as though
you’re perfect for it and still not get
it because you know maybe the other lead
is a little too tall and you you know
and you guys don’t complement each other
well on-screen that’s nothing to do
whatsoever and I’m just kind of wrapping
your head around the process and knowing
that it’s completely out of your hands
well it’s just easier for you to kind of
but you had a great job you had I
remember you had a great apartment on
the Upper West Side married for a year
had been married for you had not been
eating biscuits for nine months and I’m
just you know how did you go through
making the decision to drop it was a
very good job and take it take this
chance it all seems very obvious now
right this many years later that it paid
off but at the time it was not obvious
no no it was and and and I did do a lot
of soul searching I I went to my boss at
the time and I really liked my job and I
told my boss I was gonna go do this
thing start an internet bookstore and my
wife at I’d already told my wife and
she’s like great let’s go and I I said
to my boss is gonna do this he’s like
this is a good idea so I think this is a
good idea but would be an even better
idea for somebody who didn’t already
have a good job and that sort of made
some logical sense to me and he
convinced me to think about it for a
couple of days so I went away I was
really trying to get my head around how
to think about this and I think for me
the right way to make that kind of very
personal decision because those
decisions are personal they’re not like
data-driven business decisions there
they are you know what does your heart
say and for me it was I could the best
way to think about it was to project
myself forward to age 80 and said look
when I’m 80 years old I want to have
minimized the number of regrets that I
have I don’t want to be 80 years old in
a quiet moment of reflection thinking
back over my life and and cataloging a
bunch of major regrets and I think that
regrets our biggest regrets in most
cases you can murder somebody okay you
regret that but in most cases our
biggest regrets turn out to the acts of
omission its paths not taken and they
haunt us we wonder what would have
happened I loved that person and I never
told him and then they married somebody
else I did you know I didn’t do this
and so that’s the frame of mind that I
put myself in and I and once I did that
once I thought about that way it was
immediately obvious to me I knew
that when I’m 80 I would never regret
trying this thing that I was super
excited about and failing if it failed
fine I would be very proud of the fact when I’m 80 that I tried
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