YOU ARE STRONG! An Incredible Speech by Jordan Peterson

and you know people are very very very
very tough and it turns out that if you
face things it turns out that if you
face things that you can put up with a
lot more than you think you can put up
with and you can do it without becoming
corrupted and she did recover quite
quite fully and much as a consequence of
her own Nationals because she figured
out what was wrong with her and then
took the necessary steps to fix it which
is nothing short of a bloody miracle as
far as I’m concerned and anyway as part
of the the the cat bit is I actually
start by talking about our dog who
actually died about a year ago but he’s
still alive in the book I you know I let
people know because dog lovers love dogs
and if you love cats then they think you
don’t like dogs and they don’t like you
so I also point out at the beginning of
the chapter that you know if you want to
pet a dog on the street that’s okay too
so you don’t have to get up in arms
about it but but the idea is that you
know you have to be alert when you’re
suffering you have to be alert to the
beauty in life
the unexpected beauty in life and that’s
kind of what I was trying to get across
with the idea of the cow there’s this
cat that lives across the street from us
called ginger and Ginger’s a Siamese cat
and cats really aren’t domesticated a
technically speaking they’re still wild
animals but they kind of like people god
only knows why but they do you know and
so ginger will come wandering over and
our dog looks at her but they’re friends
and she rolls over on his back and
Siegel used to you know nose or a bit
and and then she kind of mosey over and
let you pet her if she was feeling like
it’s out day and you know you have to
look for those little bit of that little
bit of sparkling crystal in the darkness
when things are bad you have to look and
see where things are still beautiful and
where there’s still something that’s
sustaining and you know you narrow your
timeframe and you’d be grateful for what
you have and that can get you through
some very dark times and maybe even
successfully if you’re lucky but even if
unsuccessfully then maybe it’s only
tragic and not absolute hell
and you can do that you know in the
worst situation you can make it only
tragic and not held and there’s a big
gap between tragedy and hell you know
there’s nothing worse at a deathbed than
to see the people there fighting the
death is bad enough but you can take
that as terrible as it is and make it
into something that’s absolutely
unbearable and maybe I think and this is
sort of what I closed the book with is
this idea is that if we didn’t all
attempt to make terrible things even
worse than they are then maybe we could
tolerate the terrible things that we
have to put up with in order to exist
and maybe we could make the world into a
better place you know and it’s what we
should be doing and what we could be
doing because we don’t have anything
better to do and that’s what the book is
about and that’s the end of 12 rules for
life every time you learn something you
learn because something you did didn’t
work and that exposes you to the part of
the world that you don’t understand
every time you’re exposed to part of the
world that you don’t understand you have
the possibility of rebuilding the
structures that you use to interpret the
world that’s often why it’s more
important to notice that you’re wrong
than it is to prove that you’re right
one of the things that you’re supposed
to learn in university is precisely that
it might be useful to listen to people
that annoy you on the off chance that
they know something that if they tell
you you can use instead of dying talking
to people who agree with what you say is
like walking around in a desert you
already know everything that they say
the reason you’re associating with them
in that situation is so that they never
say anything that challenges you because
you’re afraid that if you go outside of
what you understand that you won’t be
able to tolerate the chaos but it isn’t
the case people have an unbelievable
capacity to face and overcome things
they don’t understand and not only that
that’s essentially what gives life its
meaning the Buddhists say life is
suffering and you think well if that’s
the case why bother with it and people
do ask that question and they ask it in
ways that result in their own
destruction and worse in the destruction
of others so for example people who
become particularly cruel
particularly in a genocidal manner are
more than willing to dispense with as
many human beings as they can possibly
train their sights on because they’re so
disgusted by the nature of human
limitation that they’d rather eradicate
it and lots of people become suicidal
because they can’t bear the conditions
of their own existence and suffering is
real and it’s inescapable so the
question is what do you do about it
people do get what they want is because
they don’t actually figure out what it
is and the probability that you’re going
to get what would be good for you let’s
say which would even be better than what
you want right because you know you
might be what wrong about what you want
easily but maybe you could get what
would really be good for you well why
don’t you well because you don’t try you
don’t think okay here’s what I would
like if I could have it and and I don’t
mean I don’t mean in a way that you
manipulate the world to force it to
deliver you goods for status or
something like that that isn’t what I
mean I mean something like imagine that
you were taking care of yourself like
you were someone you actually cared for
and then you thought okay I’m caring for
this person I would like things to go as
well for them as possible
what would their life have to be like in
order for that to be the case what
people don’t do that they don’t sit down
and think all right you know let’s let’s
figure it out you’ve got a life it’s
hard obviously it’s like three years
from now you can have what you need you
got to be careful about it you can’t
have everything you can have what would
be good for you but you have to figure
out what it is and then you have to aim
at it well my experience with people as
being is if they figure out what it is
that would be good for them and then
they aim at it then they get it and it’s
tan idea about what would be good for
you and then you take ten steps towards
that and you find out that your
formulation was a bit off and so you
have to reformulate your goal you know
you’re kind of going like this as you
move towards the goal but a huge part of
the reason that people fail is because
they don’t ever setup the criteria for
success and so since success is a very
near
line and very unlikely the probability
that you’re going to stumble on it
randomly is zero and so there’s a
proposition here in the proposition is
if you actually want something you can
have it now the question then would be
well what do you mean by actually want
and the answer is that you reorient your
life in every possible way to make the
probability that that will occur as
certain as possible and that’s a
sacrificial idea right it’s like you
don’t get everything obviously you
obviously but maybe you can have what
you need and maybe all you have to do to
get it is ask but asking isn’t a whim or
today’s wish it’s like you have to be
deadly serious about it you have to
think okay like I’m taking stock of
myself and if I was going to live
properly in the world and I was going to
set myself up such that being would
justify itself in my estimation and I
don’t mean as a harsh judge exactly what
is it that I would aim at sit on your
bed one day and ask yourself what’s what
remarkably stupid things am i doing on a
regular basis to absolutely screw up my
life and if you actually ask that
question but you have to want to know
the answer right because that’s actually
what asking the question means it
doesn’t mean just mouthing the words it
means you have to decide that you want
to know you’ll figure that’s out so fast
it’ll make your hair curl it’s not an
accident that the axiomatic Western
individual is someone who was unfairly
nailed to a cross and tortured it’s like
yes right exactly so what do you do
about that
well I thought about that for a long
time too it’s like well you don’t get
together in a damn mob because all that
does is allow you to be as horrible as
you could possibly imagine and suffer
from none of the consequences that’s a
bad idea
so how about we don’t do that
well there’s a deep idea in the West too
it’s like pick up your damn suffering
and bear it and try to be a good person
so you don’t make it worse well that’s a
truth you know I read a lot about the
terrible things that people have done to
each other you just cannot even imagine
it it’s so awful
so you don’t want to be someone like
that no do you have a reason to be yes
you have a lots of reasons to be god
there’s reasons to be resentful about
your existence everyone you know is
gonna die you know you too and there’s
gonna be a fair bit of pain along the
way and lots of it’s gonna be unfair
it’s like yeah no wonder you’re
resentful
it’s like act it out and see what
happens you make everything you’re
complaining about infinitely worse
there’s this idea that hell is a
bottomless pit and that’s because no
matter how bad is some stupid son of a
bitch like you could figure out a way to
make it a lot worse so you think well
what do you do about that
well you accept it that’s what life is
like it’s suffering that’s what the
religious people have always said life
is suffering yes well who wants to admit
that well just think about it well so
what do you do in the face of that
suffering try to reduce it start with
yourself what good are you get yourself
together for Christ’s sake so that when
your father dies you’re not whining away
in a corner and you can help plan the
funeral and you can stand up solidly so
that people can rely on you that’s
better
don’t be a damn victim of course you’re
a victim Jesus obviously put yourself
together and then maybe if you put
yourself together you know how to do
that you know what’s wrong with you if
you’ll admit it you know there’s a few
things you could like polish up a little
bit that you might even be able to
manage and if you’re insufficient
present condition and so you might shine
yourself up a little bit and then your
eyes will be a little more open then you
can shine yourself up a little bit more
and then maybe you could bring your
family together instead of having them
either
faithful spiteful neurotic infighting
batch that you’re like doomed to spend
Christmas with so then you fix yourself
up a little bit kind of humbly because
you know God you’re a fixer-upper if
there ever was one and then you got to
figure out well can you figure out how
to make peace with your idiot brother
and probably not because he’s just as
dumb as you so the how the hell are you
gonna manage that and so then you’ve
maybe you get somewhere that way and
your family sort of functioning and you
find out well that kind of relieved a
little bit of suffering although it
reduced the opportunities for spiteful
revenge and that’s kind of a pain in the
neck and so then you get your family
together a little bit and you’re a
little clued in then at least a bit
because you’ve done something difficult
that’s actually difficult you’re the
wiser and so then maybe you could put a
tentative finger out beyond the family
and try to change some little thing
without wrecking it it’s like our
society is complex and we teach our
students that they could just fix it
it’s like go fix a military helicopter
and see how far you get with that it’s
like you’re going to get a do you’re
like a chimp with a wrench
whack whoa look it’s better it’s like no
it’s not better things are complicated
and to fix things is really hard and you
have to be like a golden tool to fix
things and you’re not so and that’s the
other message of the West it’s like how
do you overcome the suffering of the of
life and I’m not saying it’s only the
message of the West how do you overcome
the suffering of life is be a better
person that’s how you do it
well that’s hard it takes responsibility
and I think you know if you said to
someone you want to have a meaningful
life everything you do matters that’s
the definition of a meaningful life but
everything you do matters it’s gonna
have to carry that with you or do you
want to just forget about the whole
meaning thing and then you don’t have
any responsibility because who the hell
cares and you can wander through life
doing whatever you want gratifying
impulsive desires for how well useful
that’s going to be and you’re stuck in
meaninglessness but you don’t have any
responsibilities which one do you want
well ask yourself which one are you
pursuing and you’ll find very rapidly
that it isn’t the majority of your soul
that’s pursuing the whole meaning thing
because well look what you have to do to
do that you have to take on the fact
that life is suffering you have put
yourself together in the face of that
well that’s hard Christ it’s amazing
people can even do it I’m stunned every
day when I go outside and it isn’t a
riot with everything burning because
really God you talk to people it’s like
I knew this guy he’d been in a
motorcycle accident and it really ruined
him and he was like a linesman you know
working on the power and he was working
with someone who had Parkinson’s disease
and they had complementary inadequacies
and so two of them could do the job of
one person and so they’re out there
fixing power lines in the freezing cold
despite the fact that one was
three-quarters wrecked with a motorcycle
accident the other one had Parkinson’s
it’s like that’s how our civilization
works it’s like there’s all these ruined
people out there they’ve got problems
like you can’t believe off they go to
work and do things they don’t even like
and look the lights are on my god it’s
unbelievable it’s it’s a miracle it’s a
miracle and we’re so ungrateful college
students the postmodern types they’re so
ungrateful
you know they don’t know that they’re
surrounded by it just a bloody miracle
it’s a miracle that all this stuff works
but all you crazy chimpanzees that don’t
know each other can sit in the same room
for two hours sweltering away without
tearing each other apart
anyways so what happened well I made
some videos and I got to the bottom of
some things at least as far as I could
tell so I told you what the bottom is
and then I got this idea about what you
might do about it which isn’t my idea
it’s like it’s not my idea it’s an old
old old old idea it’s far older than
Christianity it’s old it’s the oldest
story of mankind get yourself together
transcend your suffering see if you can
be some kind of hero make the suffering
in the world less well that’s the way
forward as far as I can tell if there is
any way forward final rule
it’s called pedak out when you encounter
one on the street and it’s it’s a very
it’s the most personal chapter in the
book it’s a lot about my daughter and my
daughter was very ill when she was well
when she was a kid but particularly when
she was a teenager she had a very
terrible time of it
she had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis
and when she was between the ages of 14
and 16 at first destroyed her hip which
had to be replaced and then it destroyed
the ankle on her other leg which had to
be replaced and she walked around for
two years on broken legs and she was
taking massive doses of opiates and
could hardly stay awake and like and she
had this advanced autoimmune disease
which produced all sorts of other
symptoms that were just as bad as the
joint degeneration but which are harder
to describe and so it’s just bloody
brutal you know and as a test of your
faith there’s almost nothing that’s more
direct than a serious illness inflicted
upon an innocent child right and so the
chapter is a meditation on that and also
on well what to do in a situation like
that because everyone is going to have a
situation like that in some sense you
know because you’ll be faced with
illness and the people that you love and
in crisis and so it’s a disc it’s a
practical guide to coping with those
sorts of things like and one of the
things you do when you’re overwhelmed by
crisis is you shorten your time frame
you know it’s like you can’t think about
next month maybe you can’t even bloody
well think about next week or maybe not
even tomorrow you know because now is
just
Oh overwhelming that that’s all there is
it’s like and that’s what you do you cut
your timeframe back until you can cope
with it and if it’s not the next week
that you see how to get through then
it’s the next day and if it’s not the
next day then it’s the next hour and if
it’s not the next hour then it’s the
next minute the internal problem is how
do you deal with tragedy and malevolence
and you can say well I’m not prepared
it’s like yeah fair enough unsurprising
especially if you were over protected as
a child it’s not a good idea to over
protect your kids because the snakes are
going to come into the garden no matter
what you do and so then you instead of
trying to keep the damn snakes away what
you do is you arm your child with
something that can help them chop them
into pieces and make the world out of
them so that the trick for human
thriving in the face of suffering and
malevolence is strength not protection
it’s a completely different idea we also
know this clinically we know for example
that if you treat people with exposure
therapy for Agra phobia which is roughly
speaking the fear of chaos I would say
the fear of everything you don’t make
them less afraid
you make them braver it’s not the same
thing because with an agoraphobic see
what happens to them is is the fall they
never conceptualize death and suffering
they’re naive right it never enters
their theater of their imaginations
because they’re protected from it but
then something happens this this often
happens to women in their 40s because
they’re the people most likely to
develop Agra phobia something happens
there they’ve been protected from chaos
by Authority their entire life so maybe
they had an overprotective father and
then they went to an overprotective
boyfriend and then they went to an
overprotective husband and maybe they
were willing to be subjugated to all
three of those because of the protection
right so so that’s the bargain they stay
weak and dependent and maybe they have
to because that’s the only way they can
appeal to the person who’s hyper
protective but the price they pay for
that is that they’re not sufficiently
competent and then something happens in
their life often in their 40s they
develop heart palpitations maybe as a
consequence of menopause their heart
starts to beat erratically and they
think oh no death it’s like well who are
you going to talk to about that
right there’s no protection from
Authority for that or maybe their friend
gets divorced or maybe their sister dies
or something like that it brings up the
specter of mortality and maybe the
specter of malevolence and mortality and
it brings it up in a way that Authority
recourse to Authority cannot solve and
so then they have panic attacks what
happens they go out they get afraid they
feel their heart beating then they get
afraid of their heart beating because
they think oh no I’m going to die and
they think oh no I’m going to die and
I’m going to make a fool of myself while
I’m doing it and attract a lot of
attention so the two big fears come up
mortality and social judgement and then
they have a panic attack it’s like
fighter flights gone out of control very
very unpleasant then they start to avoid
the places they’ve had a panic attack
then they end up not being able to go
anywhere so then Tiamat has come back
right a huge monster a little victim and
so what do you do with them well there’s
no saying note there’s no tire map
that’s done right there naivety is over
they’ve had a direct contact with the
threat of mortality and social judgment
they’ve met the terrible mother and they
met the terrible father and there’s no
going back there’s no saying oh the
world is safe it’s not safe not at all
it’s not safe the fact that you think
it’s safe means that you were living in
an unconscious bubble that was sort of
provided to you by your culture it’s a
gift and now that’s been shattered and
so now what do you do well the answer is
you retreat until you’re in your house
and there’s nowhere you can go you’re
the ultimate frozen rabbit right and
your life is hell because you can’t
function
the alternative is let’s take apart the
things you’re afraid of let’s expose you
to them you know carefully and
programmatically and then you’ll learn
that you can you’re actually tougher
than you think
you never knew that and maybe you didn’t
want to take on the responsibility
because you know people play a role in
their own demise so to speak when you
had a opportunity to go out and explore
or withdraw because you were afraid you
chose to withdraw because you were
afraid so it’s not only that you were
over protected often it’s that you were
willing to take advantage of the fact
that you were over protected and
run back there whenever you had the
opportunity you know so maybe you’re a
kid in the playground right and you’re
having some trouble with other kids and
you know in the back of your mind I
should deal this with deal with this
myself but you go and tell your mom and
get her to intervene and you know that
that’s not right you know that you’re
breaking the social contract but it’s
easier and so that’s what you do you run
off to an authority figure and hide
behind the Great Father right roughly
speaking well the problem with that is
you don’t learn how to do it yourself so
then you have to relearn it painfully
when you’re 40 so then you take people
out you say well what are you afraid of
rank it from 1 to 10 so 10 is make a
list of 10 things you’re afraid of the
least the thing you’re least afraid of
will call number 10 so we’ll start with
that
okay well I’m afraid of elevators ok
well let’s let’s look at a picture of an
elevator let’s have you imagine being in
an elevator let’s go out to an elevator
and let you watch the terrible jaws of
death open because that’s how you’re
responding to it symbolically right and
you’re gonna do that at it at the the
closest proximity you can manage you
find out you go do that
it works you’re nervous as hell
especially in from an anticipatory
perspective shaking you go out you stop
you watch it happen and you actually
calm down you do that 10 times it no
longer bothers you well what you’ve
learned that you didn’t die but more
importantly than that you’ve learned
that you could withstand the threat of
death that’s what you’ve learned and
then you move a little closer and then
you move a little closer and then you
move a little closer and finally you’re
back in what’s no longer the elevator
from a symbolic perspective it’s a tomb
right it’s it’s it’s a place of
enclosure and isolation and you learn
hmm
turns out I can withstand that and then
you’re met much more together much more
confident and that’s often one of the
things that often happens in situations
like that I’ve seen this multiple times
is that if you run someone through an
exposure training process like that and
and toughen them up they’ll often start
standing up to people around them in a
way they never did before because they
wouldn’t stand up for themselves before
because they weren’t willing to
undermine the protection see if you’re
protecting me
I can’t bother you because I can’t
afford to forsake your protection so if
I’m gonna play that game I’m gonna be
high hide behind you then I can’t
challenge you so that’s no good because
that’s sometimes why people you see this
with guys very frequently they’re still
deathly afraid of their father’s
judgment when they’re in their 30s or
40s it’s like well why not because they
still want to believe that there’s
someone out there that knows and so
they’re willing to accept the
subjugation because it doesn’t force
them to challenge the idea that there’s
someone out there that knows because
that’s the advantage of having your
father as a judge right because he knows
well what if he doesn’t what if no one
knows any better than you well that’s a
rough thing you don’t until you realize
that you’re not an adult right that’s
really technically the point of
realization of adulthood is that no one
actually knows what you should do more
than you do I mean it’s a horrible
realization because what the hell do you
know it’s a terrible realization and
people will often pick slavery permanent
slavery to the spirit of the great
father let’s say over that realization
and it’s completely understandable but
the problem with it is is that there’s
more to you than you think and so if you
continue to hide behind that figure then
you never have a chance to understand
that there’s more to you than you think
far more to you than you think maybe
there’s enough to you so that you can
actually withstand the threat of
mortality without collapsing maybe even
withstand the threat of malevolence
without collapsing who knows it’s
certainly possible and it’s not an
abstract question it’s exactly the sort
of question that you address in the
psychotherapeutic process it’s it’s
always the question that you address and
the answer is often in the affirmative
because people can get unbelievably
tough and you know that because people
work in emergency wards and hospitals
right or they work in in palliative care
Awards or they work as mortuary
assistants I mean these people have
bloody rough jobs you know or they’re on
the front line of police investigation
into you know highness child abuse
crimes and so they’re confronting
malevolence on a regular basis and you
know those are very stressful jobs but
people do them
and and some people do them without even
being damaged by them although that’s a
harder thing because you can see
horrible things you know things you’ll
never forget the problem is it’s true
euro pressed you’re oppressed you’re
oppressed you’re oppressed god only
knows why maybe you’re too short or
you’re not as beautiful as you could be
or you know your parent your grandparent
was a serf likely because almost
everybody’s grand great-grandparent was
it’s like you know and you’re not as
smart as you could be and you have a
sick relative and you have your own
physical problems and it’s like frankly
you’re a mess and you’re oppressed in
every possible way
including your ancestry and your biology
and the entire sum of human history has
conspired to produce victimized you with
all your individual pathological
problems it’s like yes true okay but the
problem is is that it is true and so if
you take the oppressed you have to
fraction ate them and fraction ate them
it’s like you’re a woman yeah okay well
I’m a black woman well I’m a black woman
who has two children well I’m a black
woman who has two children and one of
them isn’t very healthy and then well
I’m uh I’m a Hispanic woman and I have a
genius son who doesn’t have any money so
that he can’t go to university and you
know I had a hell of a time getting
across the border it was really hard on
me to get my citizenship my husband is
an alcoholic brute it’s like well yeah
that sucks too and so well so let’s
let’s let’s fix all your oppressive
oppression and we’ll take every single
thing into account then we’ll fix yours
– we’ll take every single thing into
account it’s like no you won’t because
you can’t you can’t it is technically
impossible first of all you can’t even
list all the ways that you’re oppressed
second how are you gonna weight them
third who’s gonna decide and that’s the
bloody thing who’s gonna decide that’s
the thing well what’s the answer in the
West it’s like in free markets oh yeah
Christ will never be able to solve this
problem no one can solve it what are we
gonna do about that we’re gonna
outsource it to the marketplace you’re
gonna take your sorry pathetic being and
you’re gonna try to offer me something
that maybe I want and I’m gonna take my
sorry pathetic being
I’m gonna say well all things considered
as well as I can understand them maybe I
could give you this much money which is
actually a promise for that thing and
you’ve packed all of your damn
oppression into the price and I’ve
packed all my oppression into the
willingness to pay it and that solution
sucks it’s a bad solution but compared
to every other solution man it’s why 10%
of us have freedom and so there’s a
tremendous iya logic at the bottom of
this it’s like you have to fractionate
the oppressed all the way down to the
level of the individual oh that’s what
the West figured out you know there’s a
couple of figures who had the
mythological roots of our culture and
you know people get upset with me
because I bring in religious themes but
I understand some things about mythology
and religion it’s not an accident that
the axiomatic Western individual is
someone who was unfairly nailed to a
cross and tortured it’s like yes right
exactly so what do you do about that
well I thought about that for a long
time too it’s like well you don’t get
together in a damn Bob because all that
does is allow you to be as horrible as
you can possibly imagine and suffer from
none of the consequences that’s a bad
idea so how about we don’t do that well
there’s a deep idea in the West too it’s
like pick up your damned suffering and
bear it and try to be a good person so
you don’t make it worse well that’s a
truth you know I read a lot about the
terrible things that people have done to
each other you just cannot even imagine
it it’s so awful so you don’t want to be
someone like that no do you have a
reason to be yes you have a lots of
reasons to be god there’s reasons to be
resentful about your exist
everyone you know is gonna die you know
you – there’s gonna be a fair bit of
pain along the way and lots of it’s
gonna be unfair it’s like yeah no wonder
you’re resentful
it’s like act it out and see what
happens you make everything you’re
complaining about infinitely worse
there’s this idea that hell is a
bottomless pit and that’s because no
matter how bad is some stupid son of a
bitch like you could figure out a way to
make it a lot worse so you think well
what do you do about that
well you accept it that’s what life is
like it’s suffering that’s what the
religious people have always said life
is suffering yes
well who wants to admit that well just
think about it well so what do you do in
the face of that suffering try to reduce
it start with yourself what good are you
get yourself together for Christ’s sake
so that when your father dies you’re not
whining away in a corner and you can
help plan the funeral and you can stand
up solidly so that people can rely on
you that’s better
don’t be a damn victim of course you’re
a victim Jesus obviously put yourself
together and then maybe if you put
yourself together you know how to do
that you know what’s wrong with you if
you’ll admit it you know there’s a few
things you could like polish up a little
bit that you might even be able to
manage in your insufficient present
condition and so you might shine
yourself up a little bit and then your
eyes will be a little more open then you
can shine yourself up a little bit more
and then maybe you could bring your
family together instead of having them
be the hateful spiteful neurotic
infighting batch that you’re doomed to
spend Christmas with so then you fix
yourself up a little bit kind of humbly
because you know God
you’re a fixer-upper if there ever was
one and then you got to figure out well
but can you figure out how to make peace
with your idiot brother and probably not
because he’s just as dumb as you so the
how the hell are you gonna manage that
and so then you’ve maybe you get
somewhere that way in your family sort
of functioning and you find out well
that kind of relieved a little bit of
suffering although it reduced the
opportunities for spiteful revenge and
that’s kind of a pain in the neck
and so then you get your family together
a little bit and you’re a little clued
in then at least a bit because you’ve
done something difficult that’s actually
difficult you’re the wiser and so then
maybe you could put a tentative finger
out beyond the family and try to change
some little thing without wrecking it
it’s like our society is complex and we
teach our students that they could just
fix it it’s like go fix a military
helicopter and see how far you get with
that it’s like you’re going to get to do
you’re like a chimp with a wrench
whack whoa look it’s better it’s like no
it’s not better things are complicated
and to fix things is really hard and you
have to be like a golden tool to fix
things and you’re not so and that’s the
other message of the West it’s like how
do you overcome the suffering of the of
life I’m not saying it’s only the
message of the West how do you overcome
the suffering of life is be a better
person that’s how you do it well that’s
hard it takes responsibility and I think
you know if you said to someone you want
to have a meaningful life everything you
do matters that’s the definition of a
meaningful life but everything you do
matters it’s gonna have to carry that
with you or do you want to just forget
about the whole meaning thing and then
you don’t have any responsibility
because who the hell cares and you can
wander through life doing whatever you
want gratifying impulsive desires for
how well useful that’s going to be and
you’re stuck in meaninglessness but you
don’t have any responsibilities which
one do you want well ask yourself which
one are you pursuing and you’ll find
very rapidly that it isn’t the majority
of your soul that’s pursuing the whole
meaning thing because well look what you
have to do to do that you have to take
on the fact that life is suffering you
have put yourself together in the face
of that well that’s hard Christ it’s
amazing people can even do it I’m
stunned every day when I go outside and
it isn’t a riot with everything burning
it could really God you talk to people
it’s like
I knew this guy he’d been in a
motorcycle accident and it really ruined
him and he was like a linesman you know
working on the power and he was working
with someone who had Parkinson’s disease
and they had complementary inadequacies
and so two of them could do the job of
one person and so they’re out there
fixing power lines in the freezing cold
despite the fact that one was
three-quarters wrecked with a motorcycle
accident the other one had Parkinson’s
it’s like that’s how our civilization
works it’s like there’s all these ruined
people out there they’ve got problems
like you can’t believe off they go to
work and do things they don’t even like
and look the lights are on my god it’s
unbelievable it’s it’s a miracle it’s a
miracle and we’re so ungrateful college
students the postmodern types they’re so
ungrateful you know they don’t know that
they’re surrounded by just a bloody
miracle it’s a miracle that all this
stuff works but all you crazy
chimpanzees that don’t know each other
can sit in the same room for two hours
sweltering away without tearing each
other apart because that’s what chimps
do so anyways so what happened well I
made some videos and I got to the bottom
of some things at least as far as I can
tell so I told you what the bottom is
and then I thought this idea about what
you might do about it which isn’t my
idea it’s like it’s not my idea it’s an
old old old old idea it’s far older than
Christianity it’s old it’s the oldest
story of mankind
get yourself together transcend your
suffering see if you can be some kind of
hero make the suffering in the world
less well that’s the way forward as far
as I can tell if there is any way
forward when I was 25 or so I probably
weighed about 138 pounds I smoked like a
pack cigarettes day I drank tremendous
amount of alcohol I was from northern
Alberta this rough little town up
northern Alberta called Fairview and you
know there were long winters there and
my friends were heavy drinkers and most
of them dropped out of school by the
time they were 15 or 16 went off to work
on the oil rigs and you know it was a
rough town and we drank a lot I started
when I was 14 and you know and so I was
I had a lot of bad habits let’s say and
things that were and I wasn’t in great
shape physically and I was also still
intellectually obsessed by as I am now
and so that would have been that would
have been in 85 but when I but I decided
around that about 85 84 or something
like that maybe a little earlier that I
was really going to try to get my act
together and so I started doing that I
you know I first of all I quit smoking
well that took a long time because I
eventually had to quit drinking to in
order to quit smoking and I started
working out starting playing sports
which I’d never done I was a small kid
I’d been skipped a grade and I was a
small small for my age so sports were
never especially team sports were never
really a domain of expertise for me
although I skied and went trapping with
my dad went you know cross-country
skiing and camping and all that so but
when I went to graduate school I started
swimming the first the first physical
exercise routine I did I enrolled in a
swim sir sized course I think it was
called it was me and this like really
overweight kid and like these 60 year
old women and men they could out
exercise me like Matt it was really
embarrassing me and the overweight kid
you know we’d be just panting ourselves
3/4 to death at the end of the bloody
work out in these 60 year old women who
weren’t great shape or like you know
chatting away as if nothing was going on
at all in the pool so that was quite
embarrassing and as was going to the
weight room you know because when I
started I could barely best benchpress
75 pounds and people used to keep coming
over and helping me which was last thing
I bloody well wanted but certainly
needed I got to the point where I could
benchpress 225 pounds I think that was
the best
I did and I gained about 30 pounds of
muscle in a year and a half so that was
good thing so like I was kind of a wild
man and you know I’m a little bit manic
in my in my temperament so you know I
was I was kind of going every direction
at the same time so and you know I don’t
regret that I had a fine town when I was
a kid and but I needed really to get
disciplined and I had to do it because I
was working on these hard problems that
you know that I’ve been discussing with
all of you and I’ve been working on them
really you know obsessively since I was
probably about 18 maybe even earlier
than that and got to the point around 25
when I was in graduate school trying to
get my PhDs doing all my research like I
published 15 papers by the time I
graduated with my PhD which was by I
think by a fairly large measure of the
most papers that any undergraduate
student at that time had ever published
at McGill I think that’s right might
have been twice as many or maybe twice
as many maybe even three times as many
and at the same time I wrote maps of
meaning which was a terrible terrible
terribly difficult thing to do because I
was writing about three hours a day
doing that and I couldn’t do all that
and continue with my misbehavior you
know my sort of
what would you say my my hedonistic my
hidden mystic my massive hedonistic
consumption of alcohol and all of that I
just couldn’t keep it up and also work
seriously on the issues that were at
hand so you know I had to stop that’s a
sacrifice I had to stop messing about
and straight myself oh I I got married
while my the woman who’s my wife Tammy
who I’ve known since she was 8 years old
she lived across the street from me in
this little town called Fairview and I
was in love with her like the first time
I saw her
which is quite bloody thing so that’s
worked out pretty well for me but she
came to live with me about the same time
and you know we decided jointly to get
her act together and we swore that we
tell each other the truth which I think
she’s actually done better than me like
I don’t think I don’t think she’s lied
to me ever in our entire marriage which
is unbelievable you know and it’s been
so useful because I can really tell her
things that we can really talk so I tell
you if you want to have a good
relationship man you embedded in the
truth because if you don’t embed it in
the truth you don’t have a relationship
it’s it’s just lies it’s it’s a tissue
of lies and it will it will dissolve in
the chaos as soon as the crisis comes
along so the truth is a terrible thing
advice for students here yeah read great
books mm-hmm
really man you’ve got this four year
period that has been carved out of your
lives by society they it’s given you an
identity like a high quality identity
and freedom at the same time and you’re
not gonna get that again in your life
you’ve got a you’ve got a respectable
identity University student and complete
freedom associated with that or as near
as you’re ever going to get and you’ve
got these unbelievable libraries that
are full of the writings of people who
are were intelligent and articulate
beyond comprehension and you know and
and you can go there and you can learn
all this and you might think well why
should you learn it well you learn it to
get a job or you learn it to get good
grades or you learn it to get a degree
and that’s all nonsense it’s nonsense
the reason that you come to university
to be educated is because there is
nothing more powerful than someone who
is articulate and
they can speak its power and I mean
power of the best sort its authority and
influence and respectability and
competence and so you come to university
to craft your highest skill and your
highest skill is to be found in
articulated speech and if you’re if
you’re if you’re a master at formulating
your arguments you win everything and
better than that when you win everything
everyone around you wins too because to
transform yourself into let’s consider
consider your transformation to
something approximating
the logos it means you shine a light on
the whole world well there’s nothing
more exciting to do than that there’s
nothing better you can possibly do and
to think that you’re coming to
university to be you know trained to
have a job it’s like great that’s a hell
of a lot better than being unemployed
and covered with cheeto dust while
you’re snacking away in front of your
video game in the basement but it’s not
it’s not a and I don’t have anything
against video games by the way but it’s
hardly a triumphant call to to being in
the world and that’s what university
should be calling forth it’s like God
you people you you know I know what
Harvard students are like I taught here
for five years you people are
spectacular you’re spectacular you’re
here you’re all capable of being world
beaters you transform yourself into
something that’s articulated and
sensible and grounded in history and
knowledgeable and wise man you can do
anything you want and hopefully anything
you want for good because if you have
any sense everything you want to do
would be for the good because there’s
nothing more compelling or meaningful or
or useful in combating the tragedy that
life than to than to struggle with all
your soul on behalf of the good and the
universities have forgotten that it’s
why everyone’s bailing out of the
humanities and they should the
humanities is corrupt and they’re
corrupt because they’re not telling
students this it’s a bloody obvious it’s
like learn to think learn to speak
learn to read it makes you a superpower
an individual superpower you have and I
don’t understand why that isn’t just
told to students it’s not that hard to
understand it everyone wants to hear
it’s like really I could
I can do that like yeah really you could
do that and the whole society around you
is labored for really thousands of years
to provide every single one of you with
this spectacular opportunity that you
have while you’re undergraduates and
graduate students here man
they’re just everyone’s just praying
that you would come here and manifest
everything that you could manifest and
that’s what you should be doing instead
of waving placards and complaining about
how you’re oppressed for God’s sake
you see these Yale students complaining
about their oppression it’s just it just
leaves me aghast it’s like what we’re
against the ruling class it’s like no no
no your baby ruling class members you’re
young the only reason you’re not rich is
because you’re young you know that’s the
best really that’s them if you look at
the 1% even the dreaded 1% you know most
of those people are old why well when
you progress through life if you’re
reasonably successful you trade in your
promising youth for your wealthy old age
but you’re still bloody old would you
would you trade it would you trade your
use for that like if you factor age out
of the economic equation things look a
lot different well of course older
people have more money they have any
sense they’ve been collecting it for
their whole life is that somehow unfair
it’s not unfair unless you want to want
to be poverty-stricken when you’re 70
and you and you don’t want to be poverty
or poverty-stricken when you’re 70 so I
just don’t understand what’s happened to
the universities I can’t believe that
you’re not told when you come the first
day look man you are out you’re here on
a heroic mission you’re going to take
your capacity to articulate yourself to
levels that are undreamed-of
you’re gonna come out of here
unstoppable you’re going to be able to
do anything you want it’s like that’s
what you’re here for
instead you’re taught that well you know
the world is a pretty oppressive place
and you’re probably at the bottom of the
dictum pilot
and and and there’s and there’s there’s
virtually nothing you can do about it
except little deconstruct the patriarchy
it’s so we need and so pathetic that
that university should be embarrassed
that that’s what they’re peddling to
students I’m embarrassed by it you know
I’ve gone on public record telling
parents bloody well send your boys to
train school because at least they’ll
learn something useful and that’s a
terrible thing for someone like me to
say because I do believe that the
argument that being articulated and
educated in the highest possible manner
is there’s nothing that’s better for you
and for society and why are why have the
universities forgotten this well that’s
postmodern neo Marxism before you you
know then the philosophy of intense
resentment and oppression and group
identity and god it’s just panic
dr. Pearson I think a lot of students
here would agree with you that one of
the main purposes of Education at
college particularly at Harvard is to
develop their sense of articulation
their ability to read their ability to
create critically think but then what
comes after particularly at Harvard
there’s a big discussion on what is a
good life what does it mean to use those
skills that we get here and then we
graduate what do we do from there stop
unnecessary suffering mm-hmm that’s what
you do you know that that’s your calling
it’s like you say well what do you do
after you graduate well if you graduate
articulated and powerful there will be
people giving you so many opportunities
you won’t even be able to keep up with
them you know and I’ve worked with
caught very very competent people in
many different domains in my life hyper
competent people and I can tell you some
very interesting things about hyper
competent people the first thing is they
are not selfish and they’re not greedy
and one of the great pleasures in their
lives is to find people who have the
capacity to also be hyper competent and
to open doors for them as rapidly as
they can possibly be open they delight
in that because there is there’s nothing
very few things that are more
intrinsically meaningful if you’re an
accomplished person than to find young
people who have the possibility of being
accomplished and say hey look here’s an
opportunity for you it’s like go out
there man kill it and then they go up
there and kill it you think right on man
another opportunity for their nail back
to you think no no they’re holding their
wealth and they’re not going to share it
with anyone it’s like that’s absolute
complete rubbish and so you don’t even
have to worry about what you’re going to
do after you graduate from here if you
if you turn yourself into half of what
you could be because people will be
dying to offer you every opportunity
that you can possibly make use of so
it’s it’s it’s a moot point that the
world is always desperately short of
people who can think and speak and and
you think well I know I won’t be made
use of first of all you can’t say that
if you’re already figured out who you
are you’ve already figured it out and
they’re offering you the world on a on a
gold platter they take it it’s yours
take it it’s like great man put yourself
together and deserve it that would be
great and that’s what everyone wants
it’s what your parents want it’s also
what you want you’ve know it it’s what
you want it’s what men it’s what women
want from man it’s what men want from
women it’s like for you to be who you
could be and then with the highest
Faculty of the human being is
articulated speech it’s it’s the divine
faculty and there is nothing more
powerful than that there was nothing
that’s even in the same league and so if
you if you don’t have faith in that then
you’re then your priorities are
misplaced and I can’t even understand
why you wouldn’t have faith in that
being say Harvard students because the
word scart you already know you’re
already sitting on top of the world
so make deserve that make use of them
all right go out there and fix things up
that’s what you need to do there’s lots
of things that need to be fixed up and
what you want to do is burden yourself
with so much responsibility that you can
barely stand and then you’ll get
stronger trying to lift it up and you’ll
be won’t be asking what should I be
doing with my life or what’s the meaning
of life or any of that it will be
self-evident it’s self-evident at
minimum you can say there’s more
suffering in the world than there should
be
and I could probably do something about
that and you can do something about that
so go do something about him and then
they’ll be less suffering in the world
and then when you’re 80 you can look
back on your life and say well you know
there’s less suffering in the world than
there
and there would have been had I know it
exists and and you don’t have to even
have a sense of ultimate destiny or even
any sort of theistic belief to regard
that as a positive good like I think it
goes beyond the mere pragmatic utility
of addressing the world’s ills because I
think we do live in a you know in a
world that has a transcendent reality as
well as the reality that we can detect
but even independently of that it
doesn’t matter it’s like I mean this is
part of the reason I like people like
Bill Gates is a great example man that
guy is he’s after five major diseases at
the same time right he’s trying to wipe
out polio he’s trying to wipe out
malaria yeah exactly he’s trying to wipe
out malaria it’s like well what should
you do with your life well you know take
a look at Bill Gates and see if you can
do something like that
that would be good you know if you take
people and I’ve told you this and you
expose them voluntarily to things that
they are avoiding and are afraid of you
know that they know they need to
overcome in order to meet their goals
their self defined goals if you can
teach people to stand up in the face of
the things they’re afraid of they get
stronger and you don’t know what the
upper limits to that are because you
might ask yourself like if for 10 years
if you didn’t avoid doing what you knew
you needed to do by the depth by your
own definitions right within the value
structure that you’ve created to the
degree that you’ve done that what would
you be like well you know there are
remarkable people who come into the
world from time to time and there are
people who do find out over decades long
periods what they could be like if they
were who they were if they said if they
spoke their being forward and they’d be
get stronger and stronger and stronger
and we don’t know the limits to that we
do not know the limits to that and so
you could say well in part perhaps the
reason that you’re suffering unbearably
can be left at your feet because you’re
not everything you could be and you know
it and of course that’s a terrible thing
to admit and it’s a terrible thing to
consider but there’s real promise in it
right because it means that perhaps
there’s another way that you could look
at the world in a number another way
that you could act in the world so what
it would reflect back to you would be
much better than what it reflects back
to you
and then the second part of that is well
imagine that many people did that
because we’ve done a lot as human beings
we’ve done a lot of remarkable things
and I’ve told you already I think before
that today for example about 250,000
people will be lifted out of abject
poverty and about 300,000 people
attached to the electrical power grid
we’re making people were lifting people
out of poverty collectively at a faster
rate that’s ever occurred in the history
of humankind by a huge margin and that’s
been going on
unbelievably quickly since the year 2000
the UN a plan to have poverty between
2000 and 2015 and it was accomplished by
2013
so there’s inequality developing in many
places and you hear it lots of political
agitation about that but overall the the
tide is lifting everyone up and that’s a
great thing we have no idea how fast we
can multiply that if people got their
act together and really aimed at it
because you know my my experience is
with people that were probably running
at about 51% of our capacity something
mean you can think about this yourself I
often ask undergraduates how many hours
a day you waste or how many hours a week
you waste and the classic answer is
something like 4 to 6 hours a day
you know inefficient studying watching
things on YouTube that not only do you
not want to watch that you don’t even
care about that make you feel horrible
about watching after you’re done that’s
probably four hours right there know you
think well that’s 2025 hours a week it’s
a hundred hours a month that’s two and a
half full work weeks it’s half a year of
work weeks per year and if your time is
worth twenty dollars an hour which is a
radical under estimate it’s probably
more like 50 if you think about it in
terms of deferred wages if you’re
wasting 20 hours a week
you’re wasting $50,000 a year and you
are doing that right now and it’s
because you’re young wasting 50 thousand
dollars a year is a way bigger
catastrophe than it would be for me to
waste it because I’m not going to last
nearly as long and so if your life isn’t
everything it could be you could ask
yourself well what would happen if you
just stopped wasting the opportunities
that are in front of you you be who
knows how much more efficient ten times
more efficient 20 times more fish
that’s the Pareto distribution you have
no idea how efficient efficient people
get it’s completely it’s off the charts
well and if we all got our act together
collectively and stop making things
worse because that’s another thing
people do all the time not only do they
not do what they should to make things
better they actively attempt to make
things worse because they’re spiteful or
resentful or arrogant or deceitful or or
homicidal or genocide alors all of those
things all bundled together in an
absolutely pathological package if
people start really really trying just
to make things worse we have no idea how
much better they would get just because
of that so there’s this weird dynamic
that’s part of the existential system of
ideas between human vulnerability social
judgment both of which are major causes
of suffering and the failure of
individuals to adopt the responsibility
that they know they should adopt and
that’s the thing that’s interesting too
is that and like one of the another
thing I’ve often asked my undergraduate
classes is you know there’s this idea
that that people have that people have a
conscience and you know what the
conscience is it’s it’s this feeling or
voice you have in your head just before
you do something that you know is stupid
telling you that probably you shouldn’t
do that stupid thing you don’t have to
listen to it
strangely enough but you go ahead and do
it anyways and then of course exactly
what the conscience told you was going
to happen inevitably happen so that you
feel even stupider about it than you
would if it happened by accident because
you know I knew this was going to happen
I got a warning it was going to happen
and I went and did it anyways and the
funny thing too is that that conscience
operates within people and we really
don’t understand what the hell that is
so you might say well what would happen
if you abided by your conscience for
five years or for ten years what sort of
position might you be in what sort of
family might you have what sort of
relationship might you be able to forge
and you can be bloody sure that a
relationship that’s forged on the basis
of who you actually are is going to be a
lot stronger and more welcome than one
that’s forged on the basis of who you
are
now of course that means that the person
you’re with has to deal with the full
force of you and all your ability and
your catastrophe and that’s a very very
difficult thing to negotiate but if you
do negotiate it well at least you you
have something you have somewhere a
solid to stand and you have somewhere to
live you have a real life and it’s a
great basis upon which to bring children
into the world for example because you
can have an actual relationship with
them instead of torturing them half to
death which is what happens in a
tremendous a tremendously large minority
of cases well it’s more than that too
because and this is what I’ll close with
and this is why I wanted to introduce
social nets as ratings to you you see
because it isn’t merely that your fate
depends on whether or not you get your
act together and to what degree you
decide that you’re going to live out
your own genuine being it isn’t only
your fate it’s the fate of everyone that
you’re networked with and so you know
you think well there’s nine billion
seven billion people in the world we’re
going to peak at about nine billion by
the way and then it’ll decline rapidly
but seven billion people in the world
and who are you you’re just one little
dust mote among that seven billion and
so it really doesn’t matter what you do
or don’t do but that’s simply not the
case it’s the wrong model because you’re
at the center of a network you’re a node
in a network of course that’s even more
true now that we have social media
you’ll you know you’ll know a thousand
people at least over the course of your
life and they’ll know a thousand people
each and that puts you one person away
from a million and two persons away from
a billion and so that’s how you’re
connected and the things you do there
like dropping a stone in a pond the
ripples move outward and they affect
things in ways that you can’t fully
comprehend and it means that the things
that you do and that you don’t do are
far more important than you think and so
if you act it way of course the terror
of realizing that is that it actually
starts to matter what you do and you
might say well that’s better than living
a meaningless existence it’s better for
it to matter but I mean if you really
ask yourself would you be so sure if you
had the choice I can live with no
responsibility whatsoever the price I
pay is that nothing mattered
or I can reverse it and everything
matters but I have to take the
responsibility that’s associated with
that it’s not so obvious to me that
people would take the meaningful path
now when you say well nihilist suffered
dreadfully because there’s no meaning in
their life and they still suffer yeah
but the advantages they have no
responsibility so that’s the payoff and
I actually think that’s the motivation
say well I can’t help being nihilistic
all my belief systems have collapsed
it’s like yeah maybe maybe you’ve just
allowed them to collapse because it’s a
hell of a lot easier than acting them
out and the price you pay is some
meaningless suffering but you can always
whine about that and people will feel
sorry for you and you have the option of
taking the pathway of the martyr so
that’s a pretty good deal all things
considered especially when they are when
the alternative is to bear your burden
properly and to live forthrightly in the
world well what Solzhenitsyn figured out
and so many people in the 20th century
it’s not just him even though he’s the
best example is that if you live a
pathological life you pathologize your
society and if enough people do that
then it’s hell really really and you can
read the Gulag Archipelago if you have
the fortitude fortitude to do that and
you’ll see exactly what hell is like and
then you can decide if that’s a place
you’d like to visit or even more
importantly if it’s a light if it’s a
place you’d like to visit and take all
your family and friends because that’s
if you’re hungry it’s not a
deterministic Drive
it’s a subpersonality that has a goal
and then it has a bunch of action
patterns that are going to work in
reference to that goal it has a bunch of
perceptions that that suit that goal and
it organizes your emotional responses
around that goal and so to think about
it as a personality isn’t much it’s a
much more intelligent way to look at it
one other thing about Skinner’s rats you
know Skinner could get rats to do almost
everything and he would reward them with
food and so he had a simple rat model
but his rats were starved down to 75% of
their normal body weight so not only
were they not social gregarious rats
like rats are because they were isolated
they’re genetically altered from wild
rats but they also weren’t as complex as
a rail route because they were starving
and so but you know a starving rat is a
pretty good model of a rat and a rat is
a pretty good model of a person but are
a lot of our models of simple behavioral
learning were based on starving isolated
rats
so anyways how to think about motivation
well think about it from the
hypothalamic perspective so we could say
one thing that motivation does is set
goals we could say that emotions track
progress towards goals and I’m gonna use
that schema even though it’s not exactly
right so you say well motivation
determines where you’re gonna aim so if
you’re hungry you’re gonna aim it
something to eat and then that will
organize your perceptions so that you
zero out everything that isn’t relevant
to that task which is almost everything
you concentrate on those few things that
are going to facilitate your movement
forward when you encounter those things
that produces positive emotion as you
move through the world towards your goal
and you see that things are laying
themselves out that facilitate your
movement forward those things cause
positive emotion and if you encounter
anything that gets in the way then that
produces negative emotion and it can be
like threat because you’re not supposed
to encounter something that gets in the
way it can be anger so that you move it
away it can be frustration
disappointment grief those would if you
had a response that’s serious to an
obstacle it would probably punish the
little motivated frame right out of
existence you know so you walk
downstairs and I don’t know the
contracting company has set a wrecking
ball through your kitchen
like that’s going to be disappointing
you’re not gonna keep eating the peanut
butter sandwich in the rubble that
little frame is going to get punished
out of existence and some new goal is
going to pop up it instead and you know
one of the things we’re gonna try to
sort out is how do you decide when
you’ve encountered an obstacle that’s so
big that you should just quit and go do
something else because that’s not
obvious you know and you can you can get
into counter productive persistence
pretty easily so we don’t know how
people solve that problem it’s a really
complicated what so anyways we’re gonna
work on that scenario
your hypothalamus pops up micro goals
that are directly relevant to biological
survival that produces a frame of
reference so it’s not a goal it’s not a
drive and it’s not a collection of
behaviors it’s of little personality and
the personality has a viewpoint it has
thoughts that go along with it
it has perceptions it has action
tendencies all of that you can see this
in addiction most particularly so one of
the things that you find often with
people who are alcoholic is they lie all
the time and that’s because when they’re
they’ve built a little alcohol dependent
personality inside of themselves or a
big one it might maybe it’s 90 percent
of their personality and one of that one
of the things that component consists of
is all the rationalizations that they’ve
used over the years to justify their
addiction to themselves and to other
people and so the addiction has a
personality you know and so when the
person is off well maybe they’re
addicted to meth or something like that
where we know the addiction is more it’s
more short term powerful than I would
say that an alcohol addiction they’ll
say anything and that the words are just
tools used to get towards the goal and
if they happen to be deceptive whatever
it doesn’t matter
they’re just practical tools to get
towards the goal and then when you get
towards the goal and you take a nice
shot of meth or something like that
you reinforce all those rationales that
you use to get the drug and then the
next time you’re even a better deceiver
and liar so okay so we’re gonna say
motivations one way of thinking about as
they set goals but it’s not the right
way of thinking about it they produce a
whole framework of interpretation and so
we’re going to think about that
framework of interpretation
and then emotions emerge inside of that
so that’s it so the world is framed
motivation set goals you could say the
world has to be framed so motivation
sets that frame whose goals emotions
perceptions and actions and then actions
track progress so positive emotion says
you’re moving forward properly towards
your goal and if you encounter something
you don’t expect you stop that’s anxiety
it’s like oh we’re not where we thought
we were and so we don’t know what to do
so we should stop because we don’t know
where we are what we’re doing stop
frozen and then the more powerful
negative emotions like pain they might
make you get out of there so emotions
forward stop reverse that’s your
emotions within that motivated frame so
and that’s another example of how your
mind is embedded in your body you know
emotions are like they’re they’re
offshoots of action tendencies that’s
that’s the right way to think about it
because action is everything
fundamentally so what are some basic
motivations
most of these are regulated by the
hypothalamus by the way and that tells
you just how important a control system
it is the other thing that’s useful to
know about the hypothalamus is that it
has projections going up from it that
are like tree trunks and inhibitory
projections coming down that are like
grape vines so you can kind of control
your hypothalamus as long as it’s not on
too much but if it’s on in any serious
way it’s like it it wins so partly what
you do to stop yourself from falling
under the Dominion of your hypothalamus
is to never ever be anywhere where it’s
action is necessary right you don’t want
to go into a biker bar because you might
find yourself in a situation where
panicked defensive aggression is
immediately necessary you probably don’t
want that
you don’t want the panic you don’t want
the terror you don’t want the frenzied
fight you don’t want any of that you
don’t want to have to run away in
absolute panic so you just don’t go
there and then a huge a huge part of how
we regulate our emotions is just by
never going anywhere where we have to
experience them and so that has very
little to do with internal inhibitory
control and everything to do with
staying where you belong
so
okay so basic motivations hunger thirst
pain pain is not regulated by the
hypothalamus that’s a different circuit
anger slash aggression thermoregulation
panic and escape affiliation and care
sexual desire exploration play and you
can kind of break those in you can kind
of break those into the classic
Darwinian categories too and say well
there’s a set of motivations that go
along with self maintenance gotta be
your survival ingested and defensive see
I’ve sort of coded them there so the the
self maintenance there’s an ax jest of
set of basic motivations that go with
self maintenance you say that’s hunger
thirst there’s a set of defensive
motivations paying anger
thermoregulation panic and escape and
then there’s there’s motivations that
are associated with reproduction
affiliation care and sexual desire and
then I put exploration and plays sort of
outside of that I would say because
those two things serve both of these approximately equally