your mind and rests
went home insecure let me tell you
something a lot of people use their work
their business their profession their
success a lot of people use their
pursuit of education their professional
students you’ve been in college for 30
years and you just keep taking more and
more classes and courses and more and
more and more things or you work
overtime under time side to time around
the time a lot of people are Church
addicts every time the church opens
you’re not just a member of the church
you don’t just come to Bible class
you’re in the choir and the Usher board
and the praise team and the will in the
fried chicken committee and the listen
to that and the other and let me tell
you something if you succeed in every
area of your life if you succeed you got
the best help you’re in the best shape
you’re the best looking you have the
most formidable personality you’re
successful you’re financially secure
you’re respected every time you walk
them down the street if you succeed
everywhere else and fail to have peace
and joy and love in your home what does
it profit you to have all of this stuff
on the outside and have no place to lay
your head to rest your mind to know that
this is solid and this won’t shake and
this won’t break it is very very
important to you foxes whenever they
sense danger or trouble or become weary
they always go running into their holes
that is the safe place that’s a secure
place he’s grounded there whatever is
gonna come I’m gonna deal with it cuz
I’m in a place of grounding you
understand what I’m saying birds of the
air have nests they say I know there’s a
lot of things that wanted environment
want to get me but if I can make it to
this nest I can get in this place where
it is difficult to get me if my nest is
solid if it’s secure and I had to build
this mess
I had to work on this mess so all of you
who say you don’t understand my
situation you don’t understand my house
you don’t understand what I’ve been
through you don’t understand my circuit
says no you don’t understand that Ness
must be built from broken branches if
you can build a whole nest from broken
branches you can riddle a whole house
with broken people but it’s got to be
built the problem today is we want
prefab houses it’s easier to go get
somebody else’s husband then it is to
develop see nobody wants to do the work
of building the kid they want to scream
at the child they want to beat the child
they want to yell at the child but the
child isn’t has learned a lot of that
behavior from what was modeled in front
of them and you have to get down on the
ground level wherever they are even if
it’s a juvenile detention center you got
to go where they are and start building
that child block by block by block while
people are talking about you while
they’re criticizing you while they’re
saying where’s your garden I thought you
were a Christian you don’t have time to
worry about what people think on the
outside because his family thing is too
important to for me to be yelling back
at my neighbors I’m trying to build
something out of these broken pieces
that God has given me Oh
Gloria where my parents had
bill that child what good is it to bill
the house if you lose the child build
the child the child will outlast the
house bill the child the child will take
care of you when you’re all bill the
child I know they’re broken I’ve know
the crazy I’ve only got on givers I know
they crush it out I know you feel like
lucky day but when you get the feeling
like that
get down on the floor and start building
dad child because you can’t have a mess
if you can’t work with broken branches
broken husbands
broken wives everything in your house is
cracked somewhere everything everything
cracked somewhere look around this room
right now look around this room look at
how handsome a good-looking and
attracted these people are in this room
don’t they look good dressed up got the
hair done look at the nails may have all
shined up pointing at you ain’t that
nice smell like a rhododendron just
wonderful glory to God in there
wonderful just to end everything you see
is cracked somewhere and the only reason
you don’t know it is because you haven’t
got close enough to see where the cracks
are but I want to tell you whether
you’re a family of ten or a family of
one where my single people holler at me
you gotta be a family of one you got to
stop putting it all celebration on the
hole waiting on somebody to find you you
got to go ahead and throw your own party
you can’t just go to work and come home
and go to work and come home and go to
work and come home sometimes you got to
take your if you don’t have nobody take
you out take yourself out have some fun
have
joy practice loving you if you don’t
love you you can’t get somebody else to
love you to love yourself wrap your arms
around yourself kiss yourself tell you
fine
look at the mirror applaud yourself go
to something other than the routine so
that you’re a whole person so that you
won’t be a half person who desperately
needs somebody to complete you single is
not 3/4 is not 1/2 is not find a single
beans to be whole I’m a whole man you’ll
be a whole woman when we get together
we’ll have a whole marriage when we have
children will have whole children but if
I’m a half a man I’m gonna attract a
half a woman and when she get pregnant
we’re gonna have a half a cow and the
whole house is gonna be dysfunctional
and everybody’s gonna be blaming
everybody else for what they are not
lost should be in progress girls when he
love is already underway stop dating
anybody who doesn’t love themselves
because if you haven’t figured out how
to love you sooner or later you’re not
going to figure out how to love me the
party starts with you be a fun person
already take up some extracurricular
activities bowling skating I don’t care
bungee jumping do something get out of
the house
stop watching movies and start making
them stop reading books and start
writing them so that you don’t marry a
oh I’m gonna get out of that let’s go
start a ride in here I have of all
working affluent men who can pay the
bills
no man is running around looking for a
woman with debt but there are a lot of
women with debt running around looking
for a man with money but on behalf of a
whole men with money we don’t want you
we want somebody who is an asset and not
a liability so stop building up more
debt waiting on me to pay it off I’m not
coming let all the men shout me down in
here
I don’t care if you Richard J paul Getty
you don’t wake up in the morning and say
let me find a woman with a whole lot of
you want your focus to be you want to be
grounded in your family you want to be
grounded in your nest you want your nest
to be cool when I go out I can’t control
what I got to deal with when I go out
but when I come in I want to nest in a
place of safety I have to deal with all
kinds of people every day hate us
imitate us spectators I got all the
tater family to deal with I don’t want
to come home and have to deal with the
I don’t care if you have a one-bedroom
apartment on the top of the garage fix
it up let it smells with it let it look
good it let it feel good put a candle in
it play some music turn it into some
stop feeling sorry for yourself
pity parties going in the states of
depression and using your faith to
anesthetize your pain until you become
hooked on a Jesus drug Jesus doesn’t
want to be your drug he wants to be your
Lord Jesus doesn’t want to get you high
he wants to be your savior Jesus I want
to be your default setting he wants to
be the foundation of your life am i
helping anybody
so what Jesus is saying here fosters a
home of the birds of the air have nests
the Son of man has no place to lay I
said he said I can’t rest in this
environment this is about life this is
not my kingdom this is not my world this
is not my place you have to have the
discernment to know when it’s right and
know when it’s wrong and sometimes when
you are in a situation where you are
dealing with people in your family where
you cannot rest in peace maybe you need
to turn your ministry in before it goes
out I don’t know why people often have
more forgiveness courage faith
resilience for the people in front of
them I don’t care what’s wrong with them
you can believe God for healing but when
it’s your child or your husband or your
we have to fix this notion that the
Karsten carpenters house is the worst
house on the block sometimes you got to
bring it home you got to bring that wood
home and do some leyland and some fix it
and the reason it’s hard to bring it
home
is it because hell doesn’t want you to
have a house hell does not want you to
have a house the first thing you do with
the enemy when you want to kill them
it’s flush them out of the house get him
out where we can kill him still smoke
bombs in there till we get him out of
the house you’re in a war and the first
thing the enemy wants to do when you’re
under attack
it said something to kick you out of the
house and you don’t have to leave
physically to leave emotionally and
spiritually the Lord says I will never
leave you nor forsake you and when you
read it in our language it sounds like
you said the same thing I will never
leave you nor leave you I will never
leave you nor forsake you forsake you is
to leave to leave is to the same it
means the same thing until you
understand the intent in the original
language is I will not leave you
physically nor abandon you emotionally
[Music]
[Applause]
and if you if you abandon me emotionally
your shoes are still under the bed you
still got my orange cup that you had in
the kitchen but you’ve been gone for
years
[Music]
any thing you do not invest in you
cannot get a return from it is hard to
get a return from a child you didn’t
invest you you didn’t raise them you
didn’t love them you didn’t protect them
now you’re old you want me over there
every Mother’s Day you’re flustered cuz
I didn’t come over and spin all day
you’re fussing cuz I didn’t drive you to
the CVS you’re fussing cuz I don’t take
you to the grocery store now I’m not
saying you can’t heal this but you have
no right to demand or harvest when you
have no seed by the same token when I
watched you cleaned you race you change
your diapers drove you to school helped
you get your homework done don’t you
stick your lip out when I ask you for
something I’m just asking for return on
the investment I made in your life it’s
gonna be tough today now you know I’m a
pastor I love the church I love the
church I’ve been preaching preaching for
40 years this this year will be 40 years
I’ve been in a ministry so clearly I
love the church but I want you to
understand that before God established
the church his habits of family you do
not see the voice of the Lord walking
through the pool of the garden talking
about I’m gonna put some stained glass
over there and let’s do panic pills
yeah that’ll be nice and which one’s the
choir room come in no the first thing
that he made that was in his likeness
was a man and his family the family has
to take priority and let’s face it
that’s where most of our torment is
that’s where most of our torment is as
for most and I think some of our
terminus is from the fact that that we
we have TVs we have these televisions
that sell us these images of what it
ought to be and you’re trying to make
yours look like something you saw on TV
let’s go back to the Word of God and
understand family and understand what
it’s supposed to be let’s start with
understanding the family of God do you
know that God has a family
God has a family I know y’all get we’re
leaving the church now but God has a
family I’m gonna show it to you go to
Ephesians chapter 3 verse 14 he sees in
chapter 3 verse 14 we’re gonna meet
for this cause you got it yo y’all don’t
have to turn pages now you have this
push buttons let’s just get a phone call
while you’re trying to find this
creature something y’all like you got
the old Bible and the new Bible and no
pass we’re gonna meet God family if he’s
just 3:14 for this course I bow my knees
unto the Father our Lord Jesus Christ of
whom the whole family the whole family
in heaven and earth is named in that
something for this cause I bow my knees
unto the father of our Lord Jesus Christ
of whom the whole family in heaven and
earth is named that he would grab you
according to the riches of his glory to
be strengthened with might by his spirit
in the inner man what I want you to see
is that he talks about God’s family both
in heaven and in earth that when he that
that he is the father over a family in
various conditions see we only regard
we embrace who is because we live in
what is and we cannot see what will be
and we only have a certain history of
what was but when the Bible says that he
is come about Jesus the same yesterday
today and forever more he’s not just
Lord of the living
he’s Lord of all the saints who went
before
he’s Lord of all that says he’s not just
Lord over your generation he’s not just
in here he’s not just the father over
your age group so you think in modules
of time we got the children’s ministry
and the teenage ministry and the young
adult ministry and the Senior Choir we
think it modules of time God cares
nothing about time God thinks in
eternity eternity are y’all with me
eternity is bigger than time eternity
transcends time eternity moves forward
and backward on he is the same that’s
why I love him because when I come to
him now about something that happened
dead he is the only one who can save me
now go back and heal what happened there
and tell me don’t worry about tomorrow I
got tomorrow in my head they didn’t even
get what I said it’s figure out what I
said they shot this place down you’re 35
years old you were molested when you
were 12 now you’re on drugs at 35 your
heart is broken you came to Jesus for 35
hurting about something that happened
when you were 12 jesus said I am the
same yesterday today and forever more
I’ll take what was broken when you were
12 and heal it so that now you can be
free when you’re 35 and that beer you’ve
been care that you are past
I rebuke that fear and I call it how
every curse that would destroy your
I want 30 seconds of crazy Holy Ghost
sake the five plays in this place
[Applause]
I’m wondering are there any women in
this room that are pregnant any pregnant
women stand up
one woman hurried up and sat down she
said Lord no Jesus the blood there’s one
word all the pregnant ones there’s one
you are waiting to meet your baby but he
has already known your baby he not only
is the God over you he’s a guard over
your child’s future
he’s covered your child’s destiny the
fruit of your body is blessed do you
hear what I’m saying
I’m teaching you what God has in mind
don’t let the devil talk to you about
your baby
Rob your baby rub your belly and say
child you don’t know how blessed you are
the Blessed Mother has got to have a
blessed baby not only did he bless your
so when the Bible says of whom the whole
family of heaven and is and in earth is
named God said I got family both places
I got kids that haven’t come yet do you
think that God decided about you when
you got here
he took Jeremiah before isoldi in the
belly I knew thee I ordained thee I
sanctified thee to be a prophet unto the
nations I let you live before your momma
had you I protected you when you was a
sail in your daddy’s leg I brought you
forth above every other cell I was
pushing you when you swam up your
momma’s canal I caused her egg to
overlay I chose you before the
foundations of the world I set you aside
for divine purpose I’m a God of eternity
you’re a man of time I picked you before
you got here you were chosen when you
were born that’s why the gun couldn’t
kill you
the car wreck couldn’t destroy you the
disease didn’t take you out because I
see the reason this is important and
trying to make you understand how your
God thinks I am even in the natural even
in our day to day operations you cannot
serve someone a leader a manager a CEO
any kind of person in authority you
can’t serve somebody you don’t
understand because if you don’t
understand me you want to know what’s
important to me and you’ll be busy
giving me what’s important to you at the
expense of what’s important to me so you
have to know your God to serve your God
so you can know that a lot if you knew
your God most of the things you’re
worried about you wouldn’t be worried
about them so let’s go deeper we want to
understand how God’s family operates
God’s family includes the coming the God
and the living
go to Hebrews 12:22 it’s gonna blow your
mind it’s gonna scramble your grits
glory to God it’s gonna put hot sauce on
your chitlins Loreena God just gonna put
vaseline on ya a chemise you’re gonna
look good when you see this the John’s
mama send you to school like mine did I
look like a Christmas ornament glory to
God
bugs didn’t bite me cuz you get stuck
mama had a half a cup of Vaseline on my
face alone I won’t tell you about my
go to Hebrews 12:22 thank you Jesus
thank you Jesus here the writer of
Hebrews says let me set it up he says
you are not as your father’s coming to a
mountain made with hands before a
corruptible mountain that shakes and
quakes like they did in the Old
Testament but ye are come unto Mount
Zion and unto the city of the Living God
the heavenly Jerusalem not the natural
of the heavenly Jerusalem the heavenly
Jerusalem and to an innumerable company
of angels I think you’re going to talk
about the spirits of just men made
perfect glory to God all of that is in
God that’s look at that look at that
picture look at God’s family look at
God’s family all that was and is and is
to come he is the father of it all he is
your father jesus said when you pray
address him this way all talk to the
church our Father which art in heaven
hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come
put the picture up there hear thy
kingdom come thy kingdom come Thy take
look at the kingdom that key
don’t come when you sick and you say thy
kingdom come
that’s what you’re asking for that
kingdom come thy kingdom come look at
all of the angels waiting the servant
which way would you have me go where
have you begun that kingdom come Thy
will be done on earth as it is in heaven
when you look at God traveling that
which was and is and is to come that
which is being delivered has been
delivered shall be delivered when you
look at God’s family he looks at it from
an eternal perspective and not a
temporary perspective yet when you look
at your family you look at them from a
temporary perspective and they’ll have
an eternal perspective so the thing that
you’re worried about with that
fifteen-year-old and you’re all upset
about and you’re at your wits e’en about
because they’re in crisis mode right now
God is back to him and looked at the big
picture and says she’s not what she
shall be but when I get through working
with him when I get through taking her
through these shall be mine when I make
up my drill do you hear what I’m saying
somebody holler the fruit of my body is
blessed let me tell you ladies something
I know you out here looking for a good
man let me stop the search it takes a
it takes a lifetime to be a good man a
good man is a whole lot of stuff more
than one thing everything just because
he’s got some good attributes doesn’t
mean he didn’t have some bad attributes
and when you find out the bad attributes
don’t forsake the good because she
discovered the bad because let me taste
them it takes a lifetime to be a good
woman takes a lighter you won’t be all
old woman before you a good woman you
want to find a good woman
find a tall woman because by the time
she figured out how to really raise kids
are y’all uncle talk to me I let go talk
to me
so if you can understand that you as a
woman are work in progress then you
ought to understand that the one you are
married to is a work in progress
but what we do we fight over which part
is broke you got grace for what’s broken
in you but do you have grace for what’s
broken in me we can always forgive what
we did but when you have a weakness
where I have a strength I got the nerve
to be judgemental when next week is
gonna show my weakness in another area
and I’m gonna need your lesson all I’m
trying to do is to get your church stuff
to get in your house love joy mercy
grace forgiveness understanding all that
stuff you turks people do on Sunday I’m
trying to get it to get in the car with
you and go home to your let me hear I
got a lot funnier am i helping anybody
God says I want to have a reflection of
my family than the earth so I’m gonna
give you a family Adam because it’s not
good for you to be alone lord I would
say here time to working like a won’t
eat it’s not good for you to be alone
it’s not good for you to be alone it’s
not good for you to be all one so let me
let me show you what I’m gonna do
this is this one imma do the rest of
your life Adam I will be doing this for
you the rest of your life for the rest
of your life I’ll be showing you what’s
in you I’m gonna pull the woman out of
you while you’re sleeping you are so
much like me
I am sufficient in myself I am male
enough to be our Father but I’m female
I made you in my likeness says in my
image so you are so complete that
everything you need you have I’ve made
you all one but making you all one for
how the Lord that Ghanim one has made
you lonely it’s not good for you to be
all one so let me show you what to
working with he reached in him pulled
his woman out of him I have looked at
her and said it is how is she sexy he
said she’s me bone of my bone flesh of
my flesh
somehow she is the feminine part of me
[Music]
she is my girly perk
I am her testosterone when I when I
fight I’m I’m the fight that’s down
inside of her she is my conference she
is much she is bad she is my sensitivity
she senses things I cannot see so I
can’t hate her for heaven feelings
because her feelings are mine they used
to be in me nasi expresses about see
when I’m hurting and I can’t cry she
she cries my tears she deserves my
business Fergus she examines my friends
she sips his things that she tells me in
the middle of the night because when you
got a good woman she is your woman she’s
the other side of your head come on
somebody Yoli talking to me this one
honey
then watch this he said Adam I’m
reaching you and I’m gonna pull her out
of you yes and the reason it is lawful
for you to have sex with her is because
when you make love to her you love in
your own body
[Applause]
see the Bible never said let men have
women he’s never said that y’all are
saying that God never said nothing about
heterosexuality homeless hang out he
says let every man have his own life he
said you’re not having her because she’s
a woman you’re having up the cross
season
oh listen to me watch this so he pulls a
woman out of the man let me get let me
back up he pulls a man out of himself
see when he got everything else he
created he spoke to the earth bring
forth bring forth bring forth when he
got to man he spoke to himself let us
make man so he pulled man out of himself
he pulled the woman out of the man he
pulled the family out of the marriage
come on somebody tell your neighbor
there’s something else in you
we’re the single people that make some
noise if you want to be married till you
hear them say Lord hook me up with my
hookup I don’t want a hookup
I don’t want some hookup I don’t want
her hookup I don’t want his hookup I
would like her I want the one that
clicks for me like a key in a lock we
are broken in all the right places
she’s crazy why I’m serious and wise
when she’s a fool I’m smart when she’s
silly
oh come on about it and I know I got the
right one cuz when you put the right key
such five people said wait on the clip
wait on the quick wake up quick wait on
the click wait on the click wait on the
click wait on the click wait on the
cliff wait on the click wait on the
click wait on the clip and don’t let
anybody mess with your click don’t let
your girlfriend Messel if you click
don’t let the mother long this with your
click the little if I was you you are
not me this is not click this is my bull
I understand the kind of crazy he is
tweet that teach that Fox and tells that
chop that train that leave my clicks
alone when I get the click this is my
house I don’t buy a house if I don’t get
a click I don’t take a job if I don’t
get a quick I don’t move to another city
if I don’t get a click and I sure don’t
get married if I don’t get a click
grab your boys say this is my clinch if
you’re ain’t got no my grandma’s up and
say Lord you are my click
[Applause]
[Applause]
I want to talk to you a little bit am i
helping anybody maybe you gotta
understand this
I don’t struggle to be a provider some
men do I don’t struggle to be a provider
I’m not talking about my income my net
worth even when I was barely making
anything I am inclined to provide I am
anointed to provide I think from a
provisionary perspective all of my plans
I tried to think about what’s going to
be needed to make this happen I am by
nature a provider in part is because it
was modeled in front of me
my father didn’t have a chalkboard and
he didn’t teach a class on it he didn’t
do a PowerPoint on it he just did it
every day so I grew up thinking oh
that’s what men do men go to work so
when I grew hair on the chest I’m a
voice drop down load and a few other
things that’s none of your business
I thought with all of these improvements
and accessories and stuff how to go to
work because that’s what men do man go
to work now some men have trouble doing
that because it wasn’t modeled in front
of him they were coddled
they were applauded just cuz you dressed
my boy that’s little you Marvel’s boy
and he didn’t have to earn it
when you were fathered you have to earn
it
your father doesn’t give it to your
credit your father is just certain
things have to be done get up out of
there be going back I didn’t get there
got you all right get up
get up off the floor mama Pharaoh let
mama kisses let mama kissing her mama
and the rest of his life he’s got all
these little boo-boos I pray say come on
kiss my sores and kids out and see their
kids because that’s always modeled in
front of him we need both we need to be
commanded and coddled because if you’re
he came Express nothing we need both we
need both my situation is this if you’re
gonna provide for your family and I know
I’m a provider I stand playing the role
the Bible said when me and my wife got
married it’s a picture crisis in the
church she’s a picture of the church I’m
a picture of Christ
I’m the Jehovah Jireh in the house I’m
supposed to invite anything she does is
I know it’s old-school it’s
old-fashioned but buddy anything she
does to add to the pot is a favor she is
my woman is my responsibility to make
sure she’s good thank you for the favors
but the responsibility stops right here
we need to put that responsible see you
women are so proud of the fact that you
can make money
I don’t hate on you because you’re
making the money but you took the
responsibility away from the man and if
you don’t hold a man responsible he gets
lost he doesn’t know you so busy break I
could bring in the bacon and fry it up
in a pan until you’re servicing where
ain’t nothing for me to do but either
you bring it you fry it I’ll eat it if
you’re raising a boy you need to stop
being so sufficient and put some
requirements on him and say I expect
this from you and I expect that from you
and then he’ll do more than eat bacon
he’ll make bacon
there is such a thing as being too
strong in the face of a man – the man
has no role to play in the house hence
we have a generation or two generations
of largely lost men because it is not
enticing to play a role that you’ve
already feel
it’s getting tight in here we’re gonna
talk about provisions for the house
what are you to provide for the house I
confess to you at four years I thought
if I bring home the money she won’t know
that’s not the appropriate answer but
that’s a half so she got you know I paid
him build on your provision must exceed
money or in some area your house will
starve starving for things like the lack
of your attention the lack of your
affection your your kids I come through
the house at the time I get home on time
I come through the house I don’t come to
[Applause]
and this one’s you get y’all good you
alright how much buoyancy I’m going in
my cage I didn’t understand that you
cannot run your house like you run your
job that you have to stick around and
spend time the kids are not gonna talk
to you quickly then I’m gonna open up to
you while your feet are moving that you
have to stop and hang around and do
something that you don’t even enjoy
doing no I don’t want to play no
PlayStation come home for work play on
no place take what is PlayStation it’s
not the game see the woman already got
this but you gotta explain this to me if
you don’t explain this to me we don’t
get it it is not about the game it’s
about the attention my mother says I’m a
speaker today because when she was
cooking I was sitting up under the table
I would be talking and she would listen
and she says you talk to talk she said
some time you didn’t make no sense but I
listened she said she was dying she told
me this
she said when parents don’t pay
attention to kids when they talk they
teach the kids not to respect their own
thoughts so you could have paid the rent
but if you never pay attention
I could still starve in whatever area I
was neglected and when we start
bantering in the house about you weren’t
dinner for me you’re angry because you
paid the bills I mean because you didn’t
spend time with me we’re talking about
two different types am i helping anybody
a provision if we would calm down to
find have an open discussion there are
some things let me tell you something
ladies there are things that we can get
mad and you about that we never in told
you we expected
come on fellas don’t leave me out there
[Applause]
I’ll go home to work I’m taking you out
to eat
it’s gonna be a good night if I take
your IDs with some time with you you
know the kids gone everything
[Applause]
we have not discussed this expectation
but this expectation is real if you
don’t meet what I expected
I will it was a secret expectation that
is up with a secret anger you’d be
shocked at the things your spouse is
secretly angry with you about because
they’re disappointed about you not
meeting and expectation that he didn’t
even say and he’s gotten so angry that
he has stopped talking to you from his
because when we want something we’d
always tell you we do sign language am I
right fellas every man in here who
look around look around he’s gonna do
sign language to a speaking woman women
need to hear talk women need to hear
talk when they worried about something
they need to talk we’ve been happy about
something they need to talk when the ACE
is about something they need to talk
they don’t trust nobody but you if they
can’t talk to you
she has no outlet you got two boys she
don’t trust her girls she has nobody to
talk to but you women need to talk men
talk in science like if I really like
Curtis my way of telling when I walk by
is that means I really liked you yeah
that means I really like you that’s it
everything’s you my boy I’m gonna be a
bit tougher I really like you
so rather than to have to confront him
with the nudity of my emotions speak my
emotions inside so then when I take that
sign language hold the problem is he
knows the language she doesn’t when she
misses my signal I did a hot man
I believe warm I mean there I am land up
somewhere
[Applause]
is he talking about something she just
are talking and you know and the triple
car came home and the kids they saw
itself and the tell step round and this
watch of all right but I said and I’m
mad as I can because none of that means
look at the 11 says don’t you see let’s
hang up not seeing the signal can lead
you into the most expensive divorce of
your life all you got to do it miss
the consequences of too many missed
signals is emotional abandonment because
I don’t trust you
with my emotions because I think you
will disappoint me and rather than to be
disappointed again
now I’m not investing in the
relationship
I am critiquing the relationship I don’t
know what she expects for me but she
expect I’m critiquing her I’m not
investing in her I want to return where
and investment and the things that she
would do she can’t do because she knows
that my heart has moved out and the
reason she’s talking all of that chitter
chatter is beneath it’s not about the
toaster the dishwasher the fried chicken
and I said in the back hurt mine she’s
trying to figure out where did it go
what happened to it when did it leave
what’s wrong I don’t understand what
happened there’s something different
about him because he is so sensitive
that she senses that the part of me that
she married the most has moved and we
still in church blessed be the rocket
holy holy holy
we’re sitting together like couples do
at the Potters and just as miserable as
hell you don’t have to send me to hell I
am living in hell I’m living because
when your house is miserable it is hard
to be faithful and committed to that
I’m gonna give you these three things
and I’m out of you she said no these
three areas bill that which is broken
down you gotta have economic support you
got a heavy economic support I know you
all think that once you’re Christian all
you have to do is speak in tongues and
wait on Jesus the Jesus bus is gonna
come get you and take you to be with
Jesus but while you’re waiting at the
bus you’re gonna get hungry when I got
ready to talk to my wife about life and
sure she’d said I’ll talk about there I
don’t even want to talk about I don’t
wanna have another discussion with you
about that’s all yeah we’re gonna have
to discuss about this she said I don’t
know who you only go to because I think
okay I’m gonna be crazy
I said you gonna be crying and you’re
gonna be Holland and you’re gonna be
screaming but you’ll have to go to the
bathroom so you even need toilet paper
you will get thirsty so he’s gonna need
water sooner or later you won’t get
hungry so you’re gonna need food and if
we don’t have no gas or you’re not gonna
be able eat I have never seen anybody so
grieved that they didn’t go to the
bathroom and eat and live and breathe
and it’s gonna bring you back to reality
you need stuff you need stuff you can’t
pray away your need for stuff you cannot
put spiritual solutions over practical
you cannot fix a physical problem with a
spiritual solution sisters more Jesus a
they’ll make you more wife
see y’all cause y’all get married Jesus
like nobody ever saw in my life
y’all can’t marry season we married
Jesus for a while and then when they’re
not aware I’ll be looking around say
okay Lord now you know you know it ain’t
good for me you bought feel a whole
y’all can be married to Jesus for 25
years 30 years and nobody touch you but
the law
[Applause]
ah Surinder Oh
ah she memo saying that we see ah
surrender most of it oh they’re having a
discussion in the Texas morning I want
to go to a text they have another
discussion in the text about if he first
Timothy five seven if any provide not
for his own house for his own and
especially for those of his own house he
hath denied the faith he has to not
faith if you don’t take care of what’s
yours you have denied the faith and it’s
worse than an infidel when you look up
the word infidel you will find that it
means unbeliever but if you dig deeper
you will find it is not just an
unbeliever who could have never been
exposed to the gospel it’s somebody
who’s been exposed to it and rejected it
let that sink in somebody’s has been
exposed to it and rejected it is called
an infidel you notice in the conflict
with Isis and terrorists they refer to
us as infidels because it’s a purist
form of the word infidel is that you
have rejected the truth in the Bible
when they call somebody an infidel it is
that you had an opportunity and rejected
it in the text is talking about taking
care of widows and it says if the widow
has a family if they don’t take care of
their own mama grandmama auntie Big
Momma Madea
you are worse than an infidel worse than
an infidel if you don’t take care of
your own you birds take care of their
own monkeys take care of our frogs take
care of and you won’t walk past y’all
like you don’t know and say you love
Jesus I’d rather see some Holy Ghost
Ranch chicken and making some chicken
noodle soup then I would the I’m a
prophetess you better proper clean this
house and go home and see about your
grandmama the Bible said you are worse
than an infidel if you don’t take care
of your own house if you’re able to some
people aren’t able you know heavy you
can’t do it but to some degree you’ll do
something you sweep watch this and
infidel is somebody who had an
opportunity to receive truth and
rejected it an infidel the Bible says
you are worse than an infidel if you
don’t provide for your house all right
God said you had the opportunity to make
but you starved it you’re worse than an
infidel because you were exposed to
something that you rejected though you
stayed in the house infidel somebody am
root word infidel primary meaning you’ve
rejected an opportunity you know how you
rejected an opportunity because you felt
like you were rejected
you know why you felt like you were
oh we got quieted here you wouldn’t
believe how many thousands of people are
in this church and you can feel worried
with the guy glad some folk got
convicted some people were taking
how do you break the infidel infidelity
when we start having real conversations
about expectations and responsibilities
mutually and you live up to yours and I
live up to mine then there’s not
abandonment and if we’re not abandoned
then we don’t have to think like we love
each other which creates resentment
so I will stop paying you money to let
me go live I will start investing
because I will no longer define myself
this I went to the potter’s house he was
so so a lot of times we give you stuff
you know what I feel in this room let me
sub t what I feel in his room I feel in
this room there are a lot of people in
this room who have abandoned kids
because they hurt you parents because
they disappointed you spouses because
they didn’t get the signal I feel in
this room a lot of people who are still
there but not there and so you’re living
your life like it’s golden it might be
golden but it’s not grounded and
anything that’s not grounded can blow
away it can blow away and it’s expensive
to lose it emotionally mentally it’s
expensive generationally I’m not saying
you can’t some rabid I’m not saying you
can’t make it over here you cannot say
you can’t do I’m not saying you can’t
pay your own bill I’m not saying you can
take it yourself you can do it but there
will be a deduction the loss of love
wherever love has been lost there will
always be a scar are you hearing what
I’m saying
so we understand some things we
understand there’s three things I’m
gonna give you put my three points up I
want to give these three number one we
need economic support and support and
the Bible says if we don’t support
economically we are less than an infidel
that we need to provide but we also
understand now that that this support is
more than money so we want to talk about
number two we want to talk about social
support we want to talk about your
social support around your family your
family needs social support does it have
support everything in this room needs
support support that gets no bori but
it’s very important you came in you saw
the carpet you didn’t see the concrete
but the carpet means nothing without the
concrete
support have you gotten support around
you for what you’re trying to do you’re
trying to build a career do you have
support you’ve been telling god you’re
ready for the next level is your family
ready have you built in enough support
to support you getting ready to run for
Congress can your kids handle it and
think have the right kind of friends and
support base around them there’s a wife
has the right support for your next move
this is why God has given you this in
the first city here because you getting
ready to go to another level and from
the level that you get ready to go on
you can’t take old support into new
levels from the level that you’re
getting ready to go on you’re gonna need
some social support to undergird you
it’s not enough to have the vision and
have the dream if you don’t have the
support and it’s not just about you it’s
about everything that’s connected to you
you want to build a great work for God
but can your kids handle it is it the
right time is it the right season do
they have friends around them that
support your values or are you the only
sane voice in the life of your family so
with number two we gotta have social
support well I’ll give you a couple of
things I have learned it like the higher
you go the smaller your circle people
who got all kind of friends that if they
know everybody and they running after
all kinds of people ain’t going very
high because if you get too big of a
circle you gonna have to stay low if
you’re gonna be like a pyramid and come
up the higher you get the smaller your
circle now if you take the permeant turn
it upside down and the circle gets
bigger as it goes up it’s gonna fall
over that means you can’t take everybody
with you you gotta be careful who you’re
trying to take with you the higher you
go the more discriminating you have to
be and who you gonna give your time to
because we now understand that provision
is not just money it’s attention it’s
time its interest it’s affecting that
you have will run right without you so
everything that you have requires more
of you and you can’t afford to fund
everybody’s situation you can there’s
nothing they’re not good people it’s
just that you are a limited resource and
some of you are worn out now cuz you are
too many things too too many people you
gotta bring your circle down to where
God is getting ready to take you to cut
off somebody said Lord that man is
talking to me
you gotta have social support you cannot
be a married woman who always lumps with
single girls they don’t support the
vision you’re trying to create the
conversations are not conducive for the
vision that you have
so you’re gonna take that single
mentality back into your marriage
situation and it’s not gonna work and
they’re gonna talk you out of your
husband blessed is the man that I’ve
taught you that the first thing here
that probably doesn’t just leave evil or
wicked it is people who give you counsel
that doesn’t line up with your destiny a
single woman can’t give you counsel that
lines up with your destiny when all your
friends are single they are insensitive
to certain things quick simple
illustration I got a friend of mine
who’s a teacher he’s a either calling
the teachers and injustice he’s he’s an
educator he’s a tempter late we are
really really good friends we love to
talk we get him a phone we go at it for
hours and debate and discuss and arguing
he turns red because he’s like scared I
don’t turn red I turn purple but we we
do what we do and we have argument the
problem is he likes to call me on
Saturday night the reason he wants to
call me on Saturday night he’s not a
preacher so he’s not sensitive to the
fact that Saturday is sacred leave me
alone what are you doing I’m studying
[Applause]
how can two walk together say they agree
you need support from people who do what
you do to understand what you’re doing
who understand that marriages don’t last
because freddie was perfect that grandpa
didn’t come home to Grandma because
grandma was always wonderful you need to
so that they can determine whether this
is a fatal fire or if it’s just smoke
and vapors your kids need friends that
fit your vision that are in their age
group so you need other people who are
going your way with kids their age to
make connections because if you don’t
they’re gonna hook up with those street
rats and you’re gonna spin the next 10
years fighting over who can speak the
loudest because whoever supports you
will direct you you hang around pretty
people I guarantee you a little bit you
gonna look better because pretty people
are gonna make you sensitive to detail
if you overlooked they’re gonna start
showing your little tricks unknown girl
don’t put on your eyeliner like that
it’s not what you do not what I’ve done
this is 1950 let me show you what
they’re doing now and then start putting
stuff up you said let me tell you
success is contagious if you get around
people who are successful you will learn
tips to the next dimension if you don’t
like the way things turned out for your
friends stop hanging with them if you
don’t see anybody past 40 who live like
that get out now if they’re all time why
would you get in the car you want to big
people who’s in looks like something you
social support you need social support
it’s not good to be alone you need
social support some of you have too much
support because now you’re going up but
your circles too broad and the reason
you keep going up and coming down you
keep going up like this and coming down
you go up by Easter you’ll be down
you’re now it’s January by Easter you’ll
be there you know why you trying to take
too many people with you you’re trying
to be there for all kinds of people and
respond to every phone call and put out
every fire and you don’t understand what
you could do five years ago when you had
no vision no dream no reason you can no
longer underwrite some of the
dysfunctional people that are attracted
to you i’ma finish let me help me to
bring this home God the third area that
you need is spiritual support you need
economic support you need social support
your social environment I think you need
spiritual support let me tell you why
you need spiritual support
because when you let me taste them that
until you let me tell you you will
continue who can I tell every family is
dysfunctional in some way they didn’t
believe it vividly very clearly they
didn’t believe it
see some of you the frustration that we
have we always think everybody got
something that we didn’t give if I’d
only been raised by my mother had a bit
so much better if my father would have
been there did you know there are people
with mothers who are crazy
there are people with fathers who are
crazy there are people with mothers and
fathers who are crazy
there are people with mothers and
fathers who live in big houses that are
crazy
there are people with mothers and
fathers who live in big houses and have
PhDs who are still crazy there are
people who are fine who had mothers and
fathers and have PhDs they are
good-looking and crazy let me tell you
something everybody light-skinned
dark-skinned white folks black folks
brown folks beautiful everybody has
secrets
everybody has struggled everybody has
problems everybody has issues now with
my kind of crazy marriage is your kind
of crazy and then we have five kids
with five new flavors of crazy the whole
house looks like Baskin and Robbins have
you ever noticed some older your kids
get the harder it is for them to be in
the house very easy when they’re small
they don’t have more opinion put on the
blue dress put on the blue pants wear
the red shirt that one ladies I don’t
like that check the more appreciated
they give them more difficult to get and
the more the dysfunctions forgiveness
show and the more secrets the family has
because secrets are equal opportunity
experiences that we all can share the
young people today say they don’t have
no secrets they say they keep it real
they are hilarious
they are hilarious then they put real on
Facebook and come to you crying because
people are talking about it there are
some things if you keep it real you will
lose it if we get real with each other
in here right now
there’s going to be a fight keeping it
real is gonna end in a fight because the
reality is I think you ugly and the
reality is when you hug me your breath
stinks and the reality is you get on my
nerves because you stand there staring
at me like you don’t like what I’ve been
real if you said everything you talk to
people it would be the third world war
keeping it real is destructive you don’t
want to keep it real you want to keep it
running and in order to keep it running
sometimes you gotta set your mouth
sometimes you gotta hold your peace
sometimes you got to be still and let
the Lord fight your battle in order to
keep it running sometimes you gotta say
husband but I can’t be your daddy and
your grandfather in your child I can’t
teach you where your broke I love you
lift your crazy self but I’m turning in
your over to God and I’m lifting you up
to God and if God won’t fix it it can’t
be done you need spiritual support throw
your hands up say I’m calling for backup
I love somebody I can’t fix I love
somebody I can’t straighten out
I love somebody I can’t heal my
craziness is driving me crazy
and now they’re crazy this is on top of
that crazy now the kids crazy is mixed
in with the crazy
that foxes have holes birds of the air
have nests my problem is at a time that
I am the most tired I have no place to
lay my head I came late on my daughter
cuz there’s issues I came late on my son
cuz there’s issues I can’t let on my
wife cuz it’s just I can’t live on my
husband cuz there’s issues and you
wonder why you’re falling apart and why
you can’t sleep and why your food that
not just well and you wonder why you
have mood swings the reason you’re
having problems in spite of all of your
accomplishments is that you have a place
to work you have a battle to fight you
have a giant to kill you have a mission
two ladies with a man a mighty man or
woman has no place to lay his head he
will lay his head in the lavas lap it is
not her sexiness that draws her Samson
it is his weariness and her giving him a
place where he doesn’t have to perform
so he lays his head prostitutes will
tell you that mints been all kind of
money they lie having sex ain’t talking
to her people make millions of dollars
hundreds of dollars an hour as
counselors so you can have a place to
talk to lay your head Jesus stands there
with open arms saying if you don’t have
if you don’t have any place come on to
me Oh my yoke is easy my burdens are
light the reason you are physically sick
right now the reason you are
hypertensive diabetic stressed-out
eating disorders the reason you have
migraine headaches the reasons that
you’re getting Cassius tumors it’s years
and years and years are being tough guy
strong woman reality is you had no place
to lay your head you can’t even worship
in the service because you so worried
about your image that when it’s time to
wash them you so busy trying to look
masculine that you miss the one place
who’s got arms big enough to take the
weight apart for your soul and that’s
why you drink like you drink that’s why
you snort like you snort that’s why you
shut up like you shut up that’s why you
give all that you talk about her you
give all your money to the preacher you
give all your money to the horse
and everybody’s trying to find someplace
to live
they’re here when I was getting ready to
do this message there are all kind of
texts I haven’t even touched about the
family but the Lord said I want you to
use this one I want you to use foxes
have holes and birds of the air have
nest and you may feel nice house and
your new house and your two-car garage
and the one you struggle to make a
payments on an apartment that you don’t
even enjoy when you get in it you got
you got more clothes with less comfort
you got more people around there less
people you can trust the stress of your
body is unbelievable the stress of your
mind is at a breaking point
your grandfather’s lived long because
they didn’t carry so much the reason
you’re tired at 30 worn out at 40 the
reason you have to buy a smile and paint
it on your face because you have no
to lay your head to lay what’s on your
mind to lay what worries you and what
scares you and what torments you and
what frustrates you family is the place
of unconditional love it’s the one thing
that everybody ought to have a right to
it ought to be the place you can go when
you can’t go a little where else
when the whole world rejects you it
ought to be the place that throws out
his arms and say come on come on I hate
what you did but I love you I love you
and I got your back with your crazy self
I made some salad that’s in the
refrigerator put the cornbread in the
microwave come on get some leave still
my boy
steal my child you don’t have to earn my
love I love you right I love you wrong I
love you rich I love you poor I love you
straight I love you gay I love you when
you lost everything I love you HIV
positive I love you if I have to love
you through jail cells I love you get
tired I love you if you got sickle-cell
I love you if you got cancer
I love if you wet on yourself I love you
if you make a mess in the mid because
you don’t have to do anything to have my
love if I can’t give you nothing else I
might not can give you all the stuff
that all the other mamas and all the
other daddies and all other systems are
all other brothers but I guarantee one
thing I will give you someplace to lay
your head when everybody turns their
back on you come on home
[Applause]
to lay your head I won’t keep bringing
up your mistakes over and over and over
again
I won’t baptize you and your foolishness
I won’t make you eat your own vomit
by bringing up over and over your
mistakes until you hate to see me coming
I will give you some place to lay your
head what man wouldn’t want you if he
thought you were a place he could lay
his head what woman wouldn’t be
attracted to some big shoulders where
she could lay her head what boy I don’t
care how I don’t care what gang you II
don’t want to be loved we are hurting
because we have no place to lay our head
stand to your feet I want to take you
somewhere I want to take you to the one
who can who can handle you who can carry
you who can deal with you who can lift
you who can help you who can advise you
who can strengthen you I know you got
problems up due to I’m your pastor I did
too
I’m your bishop that’s why I told you
don’t wash it me don’t wash with me cuz
I’m a person just like you I get tired
like you I get mad like you I get lonely
like you I get lustful like you I get
crazy like you I’m just like you don’t
make me have to be something that I love
it’s too much work it’s too hard I don’t
need no more stress I don’t want to have
to live up to your expectations I can
barely live up to the whole don’t put
that on me you can’t do it don’t put it on me I’m God just like
went home insecure let me tell you
something a lot of people use their work
their business their profession their
success a lot of people use their
pursuit of education their professional
students you’ve been in college for 30
years and you just keep taking more and
more classes and courses and more and
more and more things or you work
overtime under time side to time around
the time a lot of people are Church
addicts every time the church opens
you’re not just a member of the church
you don’t just come to Bible class
you’re in the choir and the Usher board
and the praise team and the will in the
fried chicken committee and the listen
to that and the other and let me tell
you something if you succeed in every
area of your life if you succeed you got
the best help you’re in the best shape
you’re the best looking you have the
most formidable personality you’re
successful you’re financially secure
you’re respected every time you walk
them down the street if you succeed
everywhere else and fail to have peace
and joy and love in your home what does
it profit you to have all of this stuff
on the outside and have no place to lay
your head to rest your mind to know that
this is solid and this won’t shake and
this won’t break it is very very
important to you foxes whenever they
sense danger or trouble or become weary
they always go running into their holes
that is the safe place that’s a secure
place he’s grounded there whatever is
gonna come I’m gonna deal with it cuz
I’m in a place of grounding you
understand what I’m saying birds of the
air have nests they say I know there’s a
lot of things that wanted environment
want to get me but if I can make it to
this nest I can get in this place where
it is difficult to get me if my nest is
solid if it’s secure and I had to build
this mess
I had to work on this mess so all of you
who say you don’t understand my
situation you don’t understand my house
you don’t understand what I’ve been
through you don’t understand my circuit
says no you don’t understand that Ness
must be built from broken branches if
you can build a whole nest from broken
branches you can riddle a whole house
with broken people but it’s got to be
built the problem today is we want
prefab houses it’s easier to go get
somebody else’s husband then it is to
develop see nobody wants to do the work
of building the kid they want to scream
at the child they want to beat the child
they want to yell at the child but the
child isn’t has learned a lot of that
behavior from what was modeled in front
of them and you have to get down on the
ground level wherever they are even if
it’s a juvenile detention center you got
to go where they are and start building
that child block by block by block while
people are talking about you while
they’re criticizing you while they’re
saying where’s your garden I thought you
were a Christian you don’t have time to
worry about what people think on the
outside because his family thing is too
important to for me to be yelling back
at my neighbors I’m trying to build
something out of these broken pieces
that God has given me Oh
Gloria where my parents had
bill that child what good is it to bill
the house if you lose the child build
the child the child will outlast the
house bill the child the child will take
care of you when you’re all bill the
child I know they’re broken I’ve know
the crazy I’ve only got on givers I know
they crush it out I know you feel like
lucky day but when you get the feeling
like that
get down on the floor and start building
dad child because you can’t have a mess
if you can’t work with broken branches
broken husbands
broken wives everything in your house is
cracked somewhere everything everything
cracked somewhere look around this room
right now look around this room look at
how handsome a good-looking and
attracted these people are in this room
don’t they look good dressed up got the
hair done look at the nails may have all
shined up pointing at you ain’t that
nice smell like a rhododendron just
wonderful glory to God in there
wonderful just to end everything you see
is cracked somewhere and the only reason
you don’t know it is because you haven’t
got close enough to see where the cracks
are but I want to tell you whether
you’re a family of ten or a family of
one where my single people holler at me
you gotta be a family of one you got to
stop putting it all celebration on the
hole waiting on somebody to find you you
got to go ahead and throw your own party
you can’t just go to work and come home
and go to work and come home and go to
work and come home sometimes you got to
take your if you don’t have nobody take
you out take yourself out have some fun
have
joy practice loving you if you don’t
love you you can’t get somebody else to
love you to love yourself wrap your arms
around yourself kiss yourself tell you
fine
look at the mirror applaud yourself go
to something other than the routine so
that you’re a whole person so that you
won’t be a half person who desperately
needs somebody to complete you single is
not 3/4 is not 1/2 is not find a single
beans to be whole I’m a whole man you’ll
be a whole woman when we get together
we’ll have a whole marriage when we have
children will have whole children but if
I’m a half a man I’m gonna attract a
half a woman and when she get pregnant
we’re gonna have a half a cow and the
whole house is gonna be dysfunctional
and everybody’s gonna be blaming
everybody else for what they are not
lost should be in progress girls when he
love is already underway stop dating
anybody who doesn’t love themselves
because if you haven’t figured out how
to love you sooner or later you’re not
going to figure out how to love me the
party starts with you be a fun person
already take up some extracurricular
activities bowling skating I don’t care
bungee jumping do something get out of
the house
stop watching movies and start making
them stop reading books and start
writing them so that you don’t marry a
oh I’m gonna get out of that let’s go
start a ride in here I have of all
working affluent men who can pay the
bills
no man is running around looking for a
woman with debt but there are a lot of
women with debt running around looking
for a man with money but on behalf of a
whole men with money we don’t want you
we want somebody who is an asset and not
a liability so stop building up more
debt waiting on me to pay it off I’m not
coming let all the men shout me down in
here
I don’t care if you Richard J paul Getty
you don’t wake up in the morning and say
let me find a woman with a whole lot of
you want your focus to be you want to be
grounded in your family you want to be
grounded in your nest you want your nest
to be cool when I go out I can’t control
what I got to deal with when I go out
but when I come in I want to nest in a
place of safety I have to deal with all
kinds of people every day hate us
imitate us spectators I got all the
tater family to deal with I don’t want
to come home and have to deal with the
I don’t care if you have a one-bedroom
apartment on the top of the garage fix
it up let it smells with it let it look
good it let it feel good put a candle in
it play some music turn it into some
stop feeling sorry for yourself
pity parties going in the states of
depression and using your faith to
anesthetize your pain until you become
hooked on a Jesus drug Jesus doesn’t
want to be your drug he wants to be your
Lord Jesus doesn’t want to get you high
he wants to be your savior Jesus I want
to be your default setting he wants to
be the foundation of your life am i
helping anybody
so what Jesus is saying here fosters a
home of the birds of the air have nests
the Son of man has no place to lay I
said he said I can’t rest in this
environment this is about life this is
not my kingdom this is not my world this
is not my place you have to have the
discernment to know when it’s right and
know when it’s wrong and sometimes when
you are in a situation where you are
dealing with people in your family where
you cannot rest in peace maybe you need
to turn your ministry in before it goes
out I don’t know why people often have
more forgiveness courage faith
resilience for the people in front of
them I don’t care what’s wrong with them
you can believe God for healing but when
it’s your child or your husband or your
we have to fix this notion that the
Karsten carpenters house is the worst
house on the block sometimes you got to
bring it home you got to bring that wood
home and do some leyland and some fix it
and the reason it’s hard to bring it
home
is it because hell doesn’t want you to
have a house hell does not want you to
have a house the first thing you do with
the enemy when you want to kill them
it’s flush them out of the house get him
out where we can kill him still smoke
bombs in there till we get him out of
the house you’re in a war and the first
thing the enemy wants to do when you’re
under attack
it said something to kick you out of the
house and you don’t have to leave
physically to leave emotionally and
spiritually the Lord says I will never
leave you nor forsake you and when you
read it in our language it sounds like
you said the same thing I will never
leave you nor leave you I will never
leave you nor forsake you forsake you is
to leave to leave is to the same it
means the same thing until you
understand the intent in the original
language is I will not leave you
physically nor abandon you emotionally
[Music]
[Applause]
and if you if you abandon me emotionally
your shoes are still under the bed you
still got my orange cup that you had in
the kitchen but you’ve been gone for
years
[Music]
any thing you do not invest in you
cannot get a return from it is hard to
get a return from a child you didn’t
invest you you didn’t raise them you
didn’t love them you didn’t protect them
now you’re old you want me over there
every Mother’s Day you’re flustered cuz
I didn’t come over and spin all day
you’re fussing cuz I didn’t drive you to
the CVS you’re fussing cuz I don’t take
you to the grocery store now I’m not
saying you can’t heal this but you have
no right to demand or harvest when you
have no seed by the same token when I
watched you cleaned you race you change
your diapers drove you to school helped
you get your homework done don’t you
stick your lip out when I ask you for
something I’m just asking for return on
the investment I made in your life it’s
gonna be tough today now you know I’m a
pastor I love the church I love the
church I’ve been preaching preaching for
40 years this this year will be 40 years
I’ve been in a ministry so clearly I
love the church but I want you to
understand that before God established
the church his habits of family you do
not see the voice of the Lord walking
through the pool of the garden talking
about I’m gonna put some stained glass
over there and let’s do panic pills
yeah that’ll be nice and which one’s the
choir room come in no the first thing
that he made that was in his likeness
was a man and his family the family has
to take priority and let’s face it
that’s where most of our torment is
that’s where most of our torment is as
for most and I think some of our
terminus is from the fact that that we
we have TVs we have these televisions
that sell us these images of what it
ought to be and you’re trying to make
yours look like something you saw on TV
let’s go back to the Word of God and
understand family and understand what
it’s supposed to be let’s start with
understanding the family of God do you
know that God has a family
God has a family I know y’all get we’re
leaving the church now but God has a
family I’m gonna show it to you go to
Ephesians chapter 3 verse 14 he sees in
chapter 3 verse 14 we’re gonna meet
for this cause you got it yo y’all don’t
have to turn pages now you have this
push buttons let’s just get a phone call
while you’re trying to find this
creature something y’all like you got
the old Bible and the new Bible and no
pass we’re gonna meet God family if he’s
just 3:14 for this course I bow my knees
unto the Father our Lord Jesus Christ of
whom the whole family the whole family
in heaven and earth is named in that
something for this cause I bow my knees
unto the father of our Lord Jesus Christ
of whom the whole family in heaven and
earth is named that he would grab you
according to the riches of his glory to
be strengthened with might by his spirit
in the inner man what I want you to see
is that he talks about God’s family both
in heaven and in earth that when he that
that he is the father over a family in
various conditions see we only regard
we embrace who is because we live in
what is and we cannot see what will be
and we only have a certain history of
what was but when the Bible says that he
is come about Jesus the same yesterday
today and forever more he’s not just
Lord of the living
he’s Lord of all the saints who went
before
he’s Lord of all that says he’s not just
Lord over your generation he’s not just
in here he’s not just the father over
your age group so you think in modules
of time we got the children’s ministry
and the teenage ministry and the young
adult ministry and the Senior Choir we
think it modules of time God cares
nothing about time God thinks in
eternity eternity are y’all with me
eternity is bigger than time eternity
transcends time eternity moves forward
and backward on he is the same that’s
why I love him because when I come to
him now about something that happened
dead he is the only one who can save me
now go back and heal what happened there
and tell me don’t worry about tomorrow I
got tomorrow in my head they didn’t even
get what I said it’s figure out what I
said they shot this place down you’re 35
years old you were molested when you
were 12 now you’re on drugs at 35 your
heart is broken you came to Jesus for 35
hurting about something that happened
when you were 12 jesus said I am the
same yesterday today and forever more
I’ll take what was broken when you were
12 and heal it so that now you can be
free when you’re 35 and that beer you’ve
been care that you are past
I rebuke that fear and I call it how
every curse that would destroy your
I want 30 seconds of crazy Holy Ghost
sake the five plays in this place
[Applause]
I’m wondering are there any women in
this room that are pregnant any pregnant
women stand up
one woman hurried up and sat down she
said Lord no Jesus the blood there’s one
word all the pregnant ones there’s one
you are waiting to meet your baby but he
has already known your baby he not only
is the God over you he’s a guard over
your child’s future
he’s covered your child’s destiny the
fruit of your body is blessed do you
hear what I’m saying
I’m teaching you what God has in mind
don’t let the devil talk to you about
your baby
Rob your baby rub your belly and say
child you don’t know how blessed you are
the Blessed Mother has got to have a
blessed baby not only did he bless your
so when the Bible says of whom the whole
family of heaven and is and in earth is
named God said I got family both places
I got kids that haven’t come yet do you
think that God decided about you when
you got here
he took Jeremiah before isoldi in the
belly I knew thee I ordained thee I
sanctified thee to be a prophet unto the
nations I let you live before your momma
had you I protected you when you was a
sail in your daddy’s leg I brought you
forth above every other cell I was
pushing you when you swam up your
momma’s canal I caused her egg to
overlay I chose you before the
foundations of the world I set you aside
for divine purpose I’m a God of eternity
you’re a man of time I picked you before
you got here you were chosen when you
were born that’s why the gun couldn’t
kill you
the car wreck couldn’t destroy you the
disease didn’t take you out because I
see the reason this is important and
trying to make you understand how your
God thinks I am even in the natural even
in our day to day operations you cannot
serve someone a leader a manager a CEO
any kind of person in authority you
can’t serve somebody you don’t
understand because if you don’t
understand me you want to know what’s
important to me and you’ll be busy
giving me what’s important to you at the
expense of what’s important to me so you
have to know your God to serve your God
so you can know that a lot if you knew
your God most of the things you’re
worried about you wouldn’t be worried
about them so let’s go deeper we want to
understand how God’s family operates
God’s family includes the coming the God
and the living
go to Hebrews 12:22 it’s gonna blow your
mind it’s gonna scramble your grits
glory to God it’s gonna put hot sauce on
your chitlins Loreena God just gonna put
vaseline on ya a chemise you’re gonna
look good when you see this the John’s
mama send you to school like mine did I
look like a Christmas ornament glory to
God
bugs didn’t bite me cuz you get stuck
mama had a half a cup of Vaseline on my
face alone I won’t tell you about my
go to Hebrews 12:22 thank you Jesus
thank you Jesus here the writer of
Hebrews says let me set it up he says
you are not as your father’s coming to a
mountain made with hands before a
corruptible mountain that shakes and
quakes like they did in the Old
Testament but ye are come unto Mount
Zion and unto the city of the Living God
the heavenly Jerusalem not the natural
of the heavenly Jerusalem the heavenly
Jerusalem and to an innumerable company
of angels I think you’re going to talk
about the spirits of just men made
perfect glory to God all of that is in
God that’s look at that look at that
picture look at God’s family look at
God’s family all that was and is and is
to come he is the father of it all he is
your father jesus said when you pray
address him this way all talk to the
church our Father which art in heaven
hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come
put the picture up there hear thy
kingdom come thy kingdom come Thy take
look at the kingdom that key
don’t come when you sick and you say thy
kingdom come
that’s what you’re asking for that
kingdom come thy kingdom come look at
all of the angels waiting the servant
which way would you have me go where
have you begun that kingdom come Thy
will be done on earth as it is in heaven
when you look at God traveling that
which was and is and is to come that
which is being delivered has been
delivered shall be delivered when you
look at God’s family he looks at it from
an eternal perspective and not a
temporary perspective yet when you look
at your family you look at them from a
temporary perspective and they’ll have
an eternal perspective so the thing that
you’re worried about with that
fifteen-year-old and you’re all upset
about and you’re at your wits e’en about
because they’re in crisis mode right now
God is back to him and looked at the big
picture and says she’s not what she
shall be but when I get through working
with him when I get through taking her
through these shall be mine when I make
up my drill do you hear what I’m saying
somebody holler the fruit of my body is
blessed let me tell you ladies something
I know you out here looking for a good
man let me stop the search it takes a
it takes a lifetime to be a good man a
good man is a whole lot of stuff more
than one thing everything just because
he’s got some good attributes doesn’t
mean he didn’t have some bad attributes
and when you find out the bad attributes
don’t forsake the good because she
discovered the bad because let me taste
them it takes a lifetime to be a good
woman takes a lighter you won’t be all
old woman before you a good woman you
want to find a good woman
find a tall woman because by the time
she figured out how to really raise kids
are y’all uncle talk to me I let go talk
to me
so if you can understand that you as a
woman are work in progress then you
ought to understand that the one you are
married to is a work in progress
but what we do we fight over which part
is broke you got grace for what’s broken
in you but do you have grace for what’s
broken in me we can always forgive what
we did but when you have a weakness
where I have a strength I got the nerve
to be judgemental when next week is
gonna show my weakness in another area
and I’m gonna need your lesson all I’m
trying to do is to get your church stuff
to get in your house love joy mercy
grace forgiveness understanding all that
stuff you turks people do on Sunday I’m
trying to get it to get in the car with
you and go home to your let me hear I
got a lot funnier am i helping anybody
God says I want to have a reflection of
my family than the earth so I’m gonna
give you a family Adam because it’s not
good for you to be alone lord I would
say here time to working like a won’t
eat it’s not good for you to be alone
it’s not good for you to be alone it’s
not good for you to be all one so let me
let me show you what I’m gonna do
this is this one imma do the rest of
your life Adam I will be doing this for
you the rest of your life for the rest
of your life I’ll be showing you what’s
in you I’m gonna pull the woman out of
you while you’re sleeping you are so
much like me
I am sufficient in myself I am male
enough to be our Father but I’m female
I made you in my likeness says in my
image so you are so complete that
everything you need you have I’ve made
you all one but making you all one for
how the Lord that Ghanim one has made
you lonely it’s not good for you to be
all one so let me show you what to
working with he reached in him pulled
his woman out of him I have looked at
her and said it is how is she sexy he
said she’s me bone of my bone flesh of
my flesh
somehow she is the feminine part of me
[Music]
she is my girly perk
I am her testosterone when I when I
fight I’m I’m the fight that’s down
inside of her she is my conference she
is much she is bad she is my sensitivity
she senses things I cannot see so I
can’t hate her for heaven feelings
because her feelings are mine they used
to be in me nasi expresses about see
when I’m hurting and I can’t cry she
she cries my tears she deserves my
business Fergus she examines my friends
she sips his things that she tells me in
the middle of the night because when you
got a good woman she is your woman she’s
the other side of your head come on
somebody Yoli talking to me this one
honey
then watch this he said Adam I’m
reaching you and I’m gonna pull her out
of you yes and the reason it is lawful
for you to have sex with her is because
when you make love to her you love in
your own body
[Applause]
see the Bible never said let men have
women he’s never said that y’all are
saying that God never said nothing about
heterosexuality homeless hang out he
says let every man have his own life he
said you’re not having her because she’s
a woman you’re having up the cross
season
oh listen to me watch this so he pulls a
woman out of the man let me get let me
back up he pulls a man out of himself
see when he got everything else he
created he spoke to the earth bring
forth bring forth bring forth when he
got to man he spoke to himself let us
make man so he pulled man out of himself
he pulled the woman out of the man he
pulled the family out of the marriage
come on somebody tell your neighbor
there’s something else in you
we’re the single people that make some
noise if you want to be married till you
hear them say Lord hook me up with my
hookup I don’t want a hookup
I don’t want some hookup I don’t want
her hookup I don’t want his hookup I
would like her I want the one that
clicks for me like a key in a lock we
are broken in all the right places
she’s crazy why I’m serious and wise
when she’s a fool I’m smart when she’s
silly
oh come on about it and I know I got the
right one cuz when you put the right key
such five people said wait on the clip
wait on the quick wake up quick wait on
the click wait on the click wait on the
click wait on the click wait on the
cliff wait on the click wait on the
click wait on the clip and don’t let
anybody mess with your click don’t let
your girlfriend Messel if you click
don’t let the mother long this with your
click the little if I was you you are
not me this is not click this is my bull
I understand the kind of crazy he is
tweet that teach that Fox and tells that
chop that train that leave my clicks
alone when I get the click this is my
house I don’t buy a house if I don’t get
a click I don’t take a job if I don’t
get a quick I don’t move to another city
if I don’t get a click and I sure don’t
get married if I don’t get a click
grab your boys say this is my clinch if
you’re ain’t got no my grandma’s up and
say Lord you are my click
[Applause]
[Applause]
I want to talk to you a little bit am i
helping anybody maybe you gotta
understand this
I don’t struggle to be a provider some
men do I don’t struggle to be a provider
I’m not talking about my income my net
worth even when I was barely making
anything I am inclined to provide I am
anointed to provide I think from a
provisionary perspective all of my plans
I tried to think about what’s going to
be needed to make this happen I am by
nature a provider in part is because it
was modeled in front of me
my father didn’t have a chalkboard and
he didn’t teach a class on it he didn’t
do a PowerPoint on it he just did it
every day so I grew up thinking oh
that’s what men do men go to work so
when I grew hair on the chest I’m a
voice drop down load and a few other
things that’s none of your business
I thought with all of these improvements
and accessories and stuff how to go to
work because that’s what men do man go
to work now some men have trouble doing
that because it wasn’t modeled in front
of him they were coddled
they were applauded just cuz you dressed
my boy that’s little you Marvel’s boy
and he didn’t have to earn it
when you were fathered you have to earn
it
your father doesn’t give it to your
credit your father is just certain
things have to be done get up out of
there be going back I didn’t get there
got you all right get up
get up off the floor mama Pharaoh let
mama kisses let mama kissing her mama
and the rest of his life he’s got all
these little boo-boos I pray say come on
kiss my sores and kids out and see their
kids because that’s always modeled in
front of him we need both we need to be
commanded and coddled because if you’re
he came Express nothing we need both we
need both my situation is this if you’re
gonna provide for your family and I know
I’m a provider I stand playing the role
the Bible said when me and my wife got
married it’s a picture crisis in the
church she’s a picture of the church I’m
a picture of Christ
I’m the Jehovah Jireh in the house I’m
supposed to invite anything she does is
I know it’s old-school it’s
old-fashioned but buddy anything she
does to add to the pot is a favor she is
my woman is my responsibility to make
sure she’s good thank you for the favors
but the responsibility stops right here
we need to put that responsible see you
women are so proud of the fact that you
can make money
I don’t hate on you because you’re
making the money but you took the
responsibility away from the man and if
you don’t hold a man responsible he gets
lost he doesn’t know you so busy break I
could bring in the bacon and fry it up
in a pan until you’re servicing where
ain’t nothing for me to do but either
you bring it you fry it I’ll eat it if
you’re raising a boy you need to stop
being so sufficient and put some
requirements on him and say I expect
this from you and I expect that from you
and then he’ll do more than eat bacon
he’ll make bacon
there is such a thing as being too
strong in the face of a man – the man
has no role to play in the house hence
we have a generation or two generations
of largely lost men because it is not
enticing to play a role that you’ve
already feel
it’s getting tight in here we’re gonna
talk about provisions for the house
what are you to provide for the house I
confess to you at four years I thought
if I bring home the money she won’t know
that’s not the appropriate answer but
that’s a half so she got you know I paid
him build on your provision must exceed
money or in some area your house will
starve starving for things like the lack
of your attention the lack of your
affection your your kids I come through
the house at the time I get home on time
I come through the house I don’t come to
[Applause]
and this one’s you get y’all good you
alright how much buoyancy I’m going in
my cage I didn’t understand that you
cannot run your house like you run your
job that you have to stick around and
spend time the kids are not gonna talk
to you quickly then I’m gonna open up to
you while your feet are moving that you
have to stop and hang around and do
something that you don’t even enjoy
doing no I don’t want to play no
PlayStation come home for work play on
no place take what is PlayStation it’s
not the game see the woman already got
this but you gotta explain this to me if
you don’t explain this to me we don’t
get it it is not about the game it’s
about the attention my mother says I’m a
speaker today because when she was
cooking I was sitting up under the table
I would be talking and she would listen
and she says you talk to talk she said
some time you didn’t make no sense but I
listened she said she was dying she told
me this
she said when parents don’t pay
attention to kids when they talk they
teach the kids not to respect their own
thoughts so you could have paid the rent
but if you never pay attention
I could still starve in whatever area I
was neglected and when we start
bantering in the house about you weren’t
dinner for me you’re angry because you
paid the bills I mean because you didn’t
spend time with me we’re talking about
two different types am i helping anybody
a provision if we would calm down to
find have an open discussion there are
some things let me tell you something
ladies there are things that we can get
mad and you about that we never in told
you we expected
come on fellas don’t leave me out there
[Applause]
I’ll go home to work I’m taking you out
to eat
it’s gonna be a good night if I take
your IDs with some time with you you
know the kids gone everything
[Applause]
we have not discussed this expectation
but this expectation is real if you
don’t meet what I expected
I will it was a secret expectation that
is up with a secret anger you’d be
shocked at the things your spouse is
secretly angry with you about because
they’re disappointed about you not
meeting and expectation that he didn’t
even say and he’s gotten so angry that
he has stopped talking to you from his
because when we want something we’d
always tell you we do sign language am I
right fellas every man in here who
look around look around he’s gonna do
sign language to a speaking woman women
need to hear talk women need to hear
talk when they worried about something
they need to talk we’ve been happy about
something they need to talk when the ACE
is about something they need to talk
they don’t trust nobody but you if they
can’t talk to you
she has no outlet you got two boys she
don’t trust her girls she has nobody to
talk to but you women need to talk men
talk in science like if I really like
Curtis my way of telling when I walk by
is that means I really liked you yeah
that means I really like you that’s it
everything’s you my boy I’m gonna be a
bit tougher I really like you
so rather than to have to confront him
with the nudity of my emotions speak my
emotions inside so then when I take that
sign language hold the problem is he
knows the language she doesn’t when she
misses my signal I did a hot man
I believe warm I mean there I am land up
somewhere
[Applause]
is he talking about something she just
are talking and you know and the triple
car came home and the kids they saw
itself and the tell step round and this
watch of all right but I said and I’m
mad as I can because none of that means
look at the 11 says don’t you see let’s
hang up not seeing the signal can lead
you into the most expensive divorce of
your life all you got to do it miss
the consequences of too many missed
signals is emotional abandonment because
I don’t trust you
with my emotions because I think you
will disappoint me and rather than to be
disappointed again
now I’m not investing in the
relationship
I am critiquing the relationship I don’t
know what she expects for me but she
expect I’m critiquing her I’m not
investing in her I want to return where
and investment and the things that she
would do she can’t do because she knows
that my heart has moved out and the
reason she’s talking all of that chitter
chatter is beneath it’s not about the
toaster the dishwasher the fried chicken
and I said in the back hurt mine she’s
trying to figure out where did it go
what happened to it when did it leave
what’s wrong I don’t understand what
happened there’s something different
about him because he is so sensitive
that she senses that the part of me that
she married the most has moved and we
still in church blessed be the rocket
holy holy holy
we’re sitting together like couples do
at the Potters and just as miserable as
hell you don’t have to send me to hell I
am living in hell I’m living because
when your house is miserable it is hard
to be faithful and committed to that
I’m gonna give you these three things
and I’m out of you she said no these
three areas bill that which is broken
down you gotta have economic support you
got a heavy economic support I know you
all think that once you’re Christian all
you have to do is speak in tongues and
wait on Jesus the Jesus bus is gonna
come get you and take you to be with
Jesus but while you’re waiting at the
bus you’re gonna get hungry when I got
ready to talk to my wife about life and
sure she’d said I’ll talk about there I
don’t even want to talk about I don’t
wanna have another discussion with you
about that’s all yeah we’re gonna have
to discuss about this she said I don’t
know who you only go to because I think
okay I’m gonna be crazy
I said you gonna be crying and you’re
gonna be Holland and you’re gonna be
screaming but you’ll have to go to the
bathroom so you even need toilet paper
you will get thirsty so he’s gonna need
water sooner or later you won’t get
hungry so you’re gonna need food and if
we don’t have no gas or you’re not gonna
be able eat I have never seen anybody so
grieved that they didn’t go to the
bathroom and eat and live and breathe
and it’s gonna bring you back to reality
you need stuff you need stuff you can’t
pray away your need for stuff you cannot
put spiritual solutions over practical
you cannot fix a physical problem with a
spiritual solution sisters more Jesus a
they’ll make you more wife
see y’all cause y’all get married Jesus
like nobody ever saw in my life
y’all can’t marry season we married
Jesus for a while and then when they’re
not aware I’ll be looking around say
okay Lord now you know you know it ain’t
good for me you bought feel a whole
y’all can be married to Jesus for 25
years 30 years and nobody touch you but
the law
[Applause]
ah Surinder Oh
ah she memo saying that we see ah
surrender most of it oh they’re having a
discussion in the Texas morning I want
to go to a text they have another
discussion in the text about if he first
Timothy five seven if any provide not
for his own house for his own and
especially for those of his own house he
hath denied the faith he has to not
faith if you don’t take care of what’s
yours you have denied the faith and it’s
worse than an infidel when you look up
the word infidel you will find that it
means unbeliever but if you dig deeper
you will find it is not just an
unbeliever who could have never been
exposed to the gospel it’s somebody
who’s been exposed to it and rejected it
let that sink in somebody’s has been
exposed to it and rejected it is called
an infidel you notice in the conflict
with Isis and terrorists they refer to
us as infidels because it’s a purist
form of the word infidel is that you
have rejected the truth in the Bible
when they call somebody an infidel it is
that you had an opportunity and rejected
it in the text is talking about taking
care of widows and it says if the widow
has a family if they don’t take care of
their own mama grandmama auntie Big
Momma Madea
you are worse than an infidel worse than
an infidel if you don’t take care of
your own you birds take care of their
own monkeys take care of our frogs take
care of and you won’t walk past y’all
like you don’t know and say you love
Jesus I’d rather see some Holy Ghost
Ranch chicken and making some chicken
noodle soup then I would the I’m a
prophetess you better proper clean this
house and go home and see about your
grandmama the Bible said you are worse
than an infidel if you don’t take care
of your own house if you’re able to some
people aren’t able you know heavy you
can’t do it but to some degree you’ll do
something you sweep watch this and
infidel is somebody who had an
opportunity to receive truth and
rejected it an infidel the Bible says
you are worse than an infidel if you
don’t provide for your house all right
God said you had the opportunity to make
but you starved it you’re worse than an
infidel because you were exposed to
something that you rejected though you
stayed in the house infidel somebody am
root word infidel primary meaning you’ve
rejected an opportunity you know how you
rejected an opportunity because you felt
like you were rejected
you know why you felt like you were
oh we got quieted here you wouldn’t
believe how many thousands of people are
in this church and you can feel worried
with the guy glad some folk got
convicted some people were taking
how do you break the infidel infidelity
when we start having real conversations
about expectations and responsibilities
mutually and you live up to yours and I
live up to mine then there’s not
abandonment and if we’re not abandoned
then we don’t have to think like we love
each other which creates resentment
so I will stop paying you money to let
me go live I will start investing
because I will no longer define myself
this I went to the potter’s house he was
so so a lot of times we give you stuff
you know what I feel in this room let me
sub t what I feel in his room I feel in
this room there are a lot of people in
this room who have abandoned kids
because they hurt you parents because
they disappointed you spouses because
they didn’t get the signal I feel in
this room a lot of people who are still
there but not there and so you’re living
your life like it’s golden it might be
golden but it’s not grounded and
anything that’s not grounded can blow
away it can blow away and it’s expensive
to lose it emotionally mentally it’s
expensive generationally I’m not saying
you can’t some rabid I’m not saying you
can’t make it over here you cannot say
you can’t do I’m not saying you can’t
pay your own bill I’m not saying you can
take it yourself you can do it but there
will be a deduction the loss of love
wherever love has been lost there will
always be a scar are you hearing what
I’m saying
so we understand some things we
understand there’s three things I’m
gonna give you put my three points up I
want to give these three number one we
need economic support and support and
the Bible says if we don’t support
economically we are less than an infidel
that we need to provide but we also
understand now that that this support is
more than money so we want to talk about
number two we want to talk about social
support we want to talk about your
social support around your family your
family needs social support does it have
support everything in this room needs
support support that gets no bori but
it’s very important you came in you saw
the carpet you didn’t see the concrete
but the carpet means nothing without the
concrete
support have you gotten support around
you for what you’re trying to do you’re
trying to build a career do you have
support you’ve been telling god you’re
ready for the next level is your family
ready have you built in enough support
to support you getting ready to run for
Congress can your kids handle it and
think have the right kind of friends and
support base around them there’s a wife
has the right support for your next move
this is why God has given you this in
the first city here because you getting
ready to go to another level and from
the level that you get ready to go on
you can’t take old support into new
levels from the level that you’re
getting ready to go on you’re gonna need
some social support to undergird you
it’s not enough to have the vision and
have the dream if you don’t have the
support and it’s not just about you it’s
about everything that’s connected to you
you want to build a great work for God
but can your kids handle it is it the
right time is it the right season do
they have friends around them that
support your values or are you the only
sane voice in the life of your family so
with number two we gotta have social
support well I’ll give you a couple of
things I have learned it like the higher
you go the smaller your circle people
who got all kind of friends that if they
know everybody and they running after
all kinds of people ain’t going very
high because if you get too big of a
circle you gonna have to stay low if
you’re gonna be like a pyramid and come
up the higher you get the smaller your
circle now if you take the permeant turn
it upside down and the circle gets
bigger as it goes up it’s gonna fall
over that means you can’t take everybody
with you you gotta be careful who you’re
trying to take with you the higher you
go the more discriminating you have to
be and who you gonna give your time to
because we now understand that provision
is not just money it’s attention it’s
time its interest it’s affecting that
you have will run right without you so
everything that you have requires more
of you and you can’t afford to fund
everybody’s situation you can there’s
nothing they’re not good people it’s
just that you are a limited resource and
some of you are worn out now cuz you are
too many things too too many people you
gotta bring your circle down to where
God is getting ready to take you to cut
off somebody said Lord that man is
talking to me
you gotta have social support you cannot
be a married woman who always lumps with
single girls they don’t support the
vision you’re trying to create the
conversations are not conducive for the
vision that you have
so you’re gonna take that single
mentality back into your marriage
situation and it’s not gonna work and
they’re gonna talk you out of your
husband blessed is the man that I’ve
taught you that the first thing here
that probably doesn’t just leave evil or
wicked it is people who give you counsel
that doesn’t line up with your destiny a
single woman can’t give you counsel that
lines up with your destiny when all your
friends are single they are insensitive
to certain things quick simple
illustration I got a friend of mine
who’s a teacher he’s a either calling
the teachers and injustice he’s he’s an
educator he’s a tempter late we are
really really good friends we love to
talk we get him a phone we go at it for
hours and debate and discuss and arguing
he turns red because he’s like scared I
don’t turn red I turn purple but we we
do what we do and we have argument the
problem is he likes to call me on
Saturday night the reason he wants to
call me on Saturday night he’s not a
preacher so he’s not sensitive to the
fact that Saturday is sacred leave me
alone what are you doing I’m studying
[Applause]
how can two walk together say they agree
you need support from people who do what
you do to understand what you’re doing
who understand that marriages don’t last
because freddie was perfect that grandpa
didn’t come home to Grandma because
grandma was always wonderful you need to
so that they can determine whether this
is a fatal fire or if it’s just smoke
and vapors your kids need friends that
fit your vision that are in their age
group so you need other people who are
going your way with kids their age to
make connections because if you don’t
they’re gonna hook up with those street
rats and you’re gonna spin the next 10
years fighting over who can speak the
loudest because whoever supports you
will direct you you hang around pretty
people I guarantee you a little bit you
gonna look better because pretty people
are gonna make you sensitive to detail
if you overlooked they’re gonna start
showing your little tricks unknown girl
don’t put on your eyeliner like that
it’s not what you do not what I’ve done
this is 1950 let me show you what
they’re doing now and then start putting
stuff up you said let me tell you
success is contagious if you get around
people who are successful you will learn
tips to the next dimension if you don’t
like the way things turned out for your
friends stop hanging with them if you
don’t see anybody past 40 who live like
that get out now if they’re all time why
would you get in the car you want to big
people who’s in looks like something you
social support you need social support
it’s not good to be alone you need
social support some of you have too much
support because now you’re going up but
your circles too broad and the reason
you keep going up and coming down you
keep going up like this and coming down
you go up by Easter you’ll be down
you’re now it’s January by Easter you’ll
be there you know why you trying to take
too many people with you you’re trying
to be there for all kinds of people and
respond to every phone call and put out
every fire and you don’t understand what
you could do five years ago when you had
no vision no dream no reason you can no
longer underwrite some of the
dysfunctional people that are attracted
to you i’ma finish let me help me to
bring this home God the third area that
you need is spiritual support you need
economic support you need social support
your social environment I think you need
spiritual support let me tell you why
you need spiritual support
because when you let me taste them that
until you let me tell you you will
continue who can I tell every family is
dysfunctional in some way they didn’t
believe it vividly very clearly they
didn’t believe it
see some of you the frustration that we
have we always think everybody got
something that we didn’t give if I’d
only been raised by my mother had a bit
so much better if my father would have
been there did you know there are people
with mothers who are crazy
there are people with fathers who are
crazy there are people with mothers and
fathers who are crazy
there are people with mothers and
fathers who live in big houses that are
crazy
there are people with mothers and
fathers who live in big houses and have
PhDs who are still crazy there are
people who are fine who had mothers and
fathers and have PhDs they are
good-looking and crazy let me tell you
something everybody light-skinned
dark-skinned white folks black folks
brown folks beautiful everybody has
secrets
everybody has struggled everybody has
problems everybody has issues now with
my kind of crazy marriage is your kind
of crazy and then we have five kids
with five new flavors of crazy the whole
house looks like Baskin and Robbins have
you ever noticed some older your kids
get the harder it is for them to be in
the house very easy when they’re small
they don’t have more opinion put on the
blue dress put on the blue pants wear
the red shirt that one ladies I don’t
like that check the more appreciated
they give them more difficult to get and
the more the dysfunctions forgiveness
show and the more secrets the family has
because secrets are equal opportunity
experiences that we all can share the
young people today say they don’t have
no secrets they say they keep it real
they are hilarious
they are hilarious then they put real on
Facebook and come to you crying because
people are talking about it there are
some things if you keep it real you will
lose it if we get real with each other
in here right now
there’s going to be a fight keeping it
real is gonna end in a fight because the
reality is I think you ugly and the
reality is when you hug me your breath
stinks and the reality is you get on my
nerves because you stand there staring
at me like you don’t like what I’ve been
real if you said everything you talk to
people it would be the third world war
keeping it real is destructive you don’t
want to keep it real you want to keep it
running and in order to keep it running
sometimes you gotta set your mouth
sometimes you gotta hold your peace
sometimes you got to be still and let
the Lord fight your battle in order to
keep it running sometimes you gotta say
husband but I can’t be your daddy and
your grandfather in your child I can’t
teach you where your broke I love you
lift your crazy self but I’m turning in
your over to God and I’m lifting you up
to God and if God won’t fix it it can’t
be done you need spiritual support throw
your hands up say I’m calling for backup
I love somebody I can’t fix I love
somebody I can’t straighten out
I love somebody I can’t heal my
craziness is driving me crazy
and now they’re crazy this is on top of
that crazy now the kids crazy is mixed
in with the crazy
that foxes have holes birds of the air
have nests my problem is at a time that
I am the most tired I have no place to
lay my head I came late on my daughter
cuz there’s issues I came late on my son
cuz there’s issues I can’t let on my
wife cuz it’s just I can’t live on my
husband cuz there’s issues and you
wonder why you’re falling apart and why
you can’t sleep and why your food that
not just well and you wonder why you
have mood swings the reason you’re
having problems in spite of all of your
accomplishments is that you have a place
to work you have a battle to fight you
have a giant to kill you have a mission
two ladies with a man a mighty man or
woman has no place to lay his head he
will lay his head in the lavas lap it is
not her sexiness that draws her Samson
it is his weariness and her giving him a
place where he doesn’t have to perform
so he lays his head prostitutes will
tell you that mints been all kind of
money they lie having sex ain’t talking
to her people make millions of dollars
hundreds of dollars an hour as
counselors so you can have a place to
talk to lay your head Jesus stands there
with open arms saying if you don’t have
if you don’t have any place come on to
me Oh my yoke is easy my burdens are
light the reason you are physically sick
right now the reason you are
hypertensive diabetic stressed-out
eating disorders the reason you have
migraine headaches the reasons that
you’re getting Cassius tumors it’s years
and years and years are being tough guy
strong woman reality is you had no place
to lay your head you can’t even worship
in the service because you so worried
about your image that when it’s time to
wash them you so busy trying to look
masculine that you miss the one place
who’s got arms big enough to take the
weight apart for your soul and that’s
why you drink like you drink that’s why
you snort like you snort that’s why you
shut up like you shut up that’s why you
give all that you talk about her you
give all your money to the preacher you
give all your money to the horse
and everybody’s trying to find someplace
to live
they’re here when I was getting ready to
do this message there are all kind of
texts I haven’t even touched about the
family but the Lord said I want you to
use this one I want you to use foxes
have holes and birds of the air have
nest and you may feel nice house and
your new house and your two-car garage
and the one you struggle to make a
payments on an apartment that you don’t
even enjoy when you get in it you got
you got more clothes with less comfort
you got more people around there less
people you can trust the stress of your
body is unbelievable the stress of your
mind is at a breaking point
your grandfather’s lived long because
they didn’t carry so much the reason
you’re tired at 30 worn out at 40 the
reason you have to buy a smile and paint
it on your face because you have no
to lay your head to lay what’s on your
mind to lay what worries you and what
scares you and what torments you and
what frustrates you family is the place
of unconditional love it’s the one thing
that everybody ought to have a right to
it ought to be the place you can go when
you can’t go a little where else
when the whole world rejects you it
ought to be the place that throws out
his arms and say come on come on I hate
what you did but I love you I love you
and I got your back with your crazy self
I made some salad that’s in the
refrigerator put the cornbread in the
microwave come on get some leave still
my boy
steal my child you don’t have to earn my
love I love you right I love you wrong I
love you rich I love you poor I love you
straight I love you gay I love you when
you lost everything I love you HIV
positive I love you if I have to love
you through jail cells I love you get
tired I love you if you got sickle-cell
I love you if you got cancer
I love if you wet on yourself I love you
if you make a mess in the mid because
you don’t have to do anything to have my
love if I can’t give you nothing else I
might not can give you all the stuff
that all the other mamas and all the
other daddies and all other systems are
all other brothers but I guarantee one
thing I will give you someplace to lay
your head when everybody turns their
back on you come on home
[Applause]
to lay your head I won’t keep bringing
up your mistakes over and over and over
again
I won’t baptize you and your foolishness
I won’t make you eat your own vomit
by bringing up over and over your
mistakes until you hate to see me coming
I will give you some place to lay your
head what man wouldn’t want you if he
thought you were a place he could lay
his head what woman wouldn’t be
attracted to some big shoulders where
she could lay her head what boy I don’t
care how I don’t care what gang you II
don’t want to be loved we are hurting
because we have no place to lay our head
stand to your feet I want to take you
somewhere I want to take you to the one
who can who can handle you who can carry
you who can deal with you who can lift
you who can help you who can advise you
who can strengthen you I know you got
problems up due to I’m your pastor I did
too
I’m your bishop that’s why I told you
don’t wash it me don’t wash with me cuz
I’m a person just like you I get tired
like you I get mad like you I get lonely
like you I get lustful like you I get
crazy like you I’m just like you don’t
make me have to be something that I love
it’s too much work it’s too hard I don’t
need no more stress I don’t want to have
to live up to your expectations I can
barely live up to the whole don’t put
that on me you can’t do it don’t put it on me I’m God just like
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