when you’re uncomfortable that’s the
only way you’re going to grow you don’t
have to come back and do what you did
before and do it exponentially better
you have to come back better as a person
you don’t believe in yourself and who’s
going to be leaving you for younger kids
out there for older people out there if
I impact people the rest will happen
have you had a bad dream and you wake up
and you’re Mary right yes and you see
your wife and you’re like okay that was
a dream right all right I think for a
long time for two or three years I
thought I was living a fucked-up dream
hmm and I kept waiting to wake up I kept
waiting to wake up tim was the first
person that forced me to talk to talk
just to talk and it’s amazing when you
just open your mouth and you start
saying how you really feel about stuff I
mean think about how many people really
say how they feel virtually nobody
exactly and I think Tim was the first
person I actually started have like full
transparent transparent conversations
with right I was like I don’t like the
person I was he said what do you mean I
was like I cheated a lot my girlfriend I
lied a ton I was consumed by money
I said gamble I never gambled you know I
always say things just because it was
the right thing to say not that I was
maliciously a bad person right I just
never even thought about what my actions
were it was too busy moving and Tim
forced me to stop and I still stopped
myself to this day and you stop yourself
from what focusing on who you don’t want
to be and focus on who you do want to be
here I I just I press pause in life
sometimes and I think it helps I
recalibrate to try to get out of an
obsessive thought yes or just say you
know even the get out funks whatever
whatever maybe you know I’m a firm
believer or net you have to find balance
in life right so they’re gonna be times
where you’re your journeys gonna be down
here and it’s gonna be tough and the
same when things get high you know you
sign a new deal or you have you know you
have to be able to keep things in
perspective and I think sometimes when I
stopped I forced myself to assess okay
what are that where are the benefits you
know where are the negatives how can i
how can I turn this negative into a
positive
all right let me make sure that I don’t
get too high and I continue to keep my
head down and work harder because I I
want to achieve more if it’s not for me
for the people that work for me or for
my girlfriend or my mom deserves better
so I try to find that one thing because
I’m very goal-oriented
that I need to work towards and once I
achieve that it’s another goal and I
don’t want it to ever stop because
that’s what life should be agreed do you
think of yourself is young or old um old
interests um
I lived a life that has been different
not for better or for worse it’s just I
feel like I’m old soul it’s interesting
I ask because I’m intrigued
– I think what your story is and I’m
gonna reveal myself in my worldview in
this so I’m reading your story you want
to make the comeback and because the way
the book is told I didn’t know if you
make the comeback or not right so I
don’t follow sports so I didn’t know
like does this guy like go back to the
NBA and crush it like he’s like super
famous now or or do you not and there’s
no hints of it in the beginning of the
book so it’s like unfolding for me in
real time and and then when you don’t
make it and there’s the second attempted
suicide but I know that like you’re I
have the framework of what you do post
basketball so I didn’t know if it was
basketball injury basketball and then
post or just basketball injury and then
post but I know what you do post so I’m
like okay this works out somewhere like
at some point he gets back on track and
I am utterly convinced that and I don’t
believe things happen for a reason by
the way which I know you and I are
diametrically opposed on that so yeah I
don’t believe but I believe that there’s
so much meaning and power to be taken
from anything that happens so to me
looking at like okay I watched this kid
nobody gives him enough accolades for
how good he’s getting and he actually
understands the nature of getting good
it’s about practicing it’s about showing
up it’s about putting in the works about
doing more than other people are willing
to do he goes to college at Duke not
impressed with himself in his first
season but oh dear God kills himself
over the summer to really get
spectacular comes back crushes it could
have gone direct to the NBA feels a
sense of obligation which i think is
beautiful and even though there’s no
question you could have made more money
by going into the NBA financially maybe
that was a better decision but I’m
imagine
with the podium and everyone’s like
begging you for another year and you
give it to him yeah and I think this
beautiful man I think that was a
gift to that town it’s why your jersey
now hangs in the rafters like you did
something beautiful for that
organization I think it’s incredible
you do that you go into the NBA it’s all
turning to people are smoking weed
like before games there it’s like a
total mess you’re becoming somebody you
don’t want to be but by the end of the
season you figure it out and crush the
last 19 games if I’m not mistaken and
everybody’s like whoa the person you’re
becoming you’re about to become an
all-star and then like it’s a
movie that’s the moment that you have
the accident you have to rebuild we’ve
already talked about that but your mind
has been consistent through everything
okay the vast majority of humanity if I
take your life and I just take a million
people and I crush them through that
like the percentage of people that come
out the other side is virtually none so
for you like it’s the way that I think
of the inner cities the inner cities
consume most of the people that it
touches and they either literally die
young or they just go on to do nothing
but every now and then you get jay-z and
you go God for the right person like
this pressure cooker is it it’s the
pressure that makes the diamond right so
because AI think that I’m gonna live
forever truly and I understand a lot of
things have to happen for that to be
true but I extend that to you you’re
even younger than I am so you’re gonna
live forever it’s gonna be amazing
so now I want to see okay I know what
this guy’s been through I know the
diamond that his mind has become like
what awaits all of us on the other side
of that so that’s why I was freaking out
reading the book when you’re when you
literally try to cut through the word
believe and can’t by the way what do you
set huge goals for yourself now yes
every day and let me let me address one
other thing that you said that I find
fascinating because I think it’s it’s a
epidemic within our culture you know in
the American culture so it’s so funny
like the comeback right when I was when
I wanted to write my book I got turned
down by multiple publishing agencies if
you’re like well like you didn’t come
back right you know
and I think that’s like the American
like due to American
xscape of how we look at things like why
did it come back and crush it and and
and that’s a comeback story and like
no like I came back mentally right like
that’s a story like that’s it that’s a
story that should be cherished for
younger kids out there for older people
out there doesn’t matter you don’t have
to come back and do what you did before
and do it exponentially better you have
to come back better as a person and and
and really value that process that’s a
comeback like that’s that that should be
an American story so yeah I think my my
goals are a little bit outlandish for
myself I want to own my own media
network one day man that’s where I so
that’s what they know I came I was like
hey this is like God saying right like I
you know I have a two-bedroom apartment
in New York I you know my mom comes and
unfortunately there’s a there’s a big
camera in a room and there’s lights and
she’s like she’s like are you filming me
while I sleep and I was like no but now
I made cuz it made the interesting
content yeah but like III think about
hey how can i how can I be bigger and
better and I think about now how can I
break outside this mold of just being a
college basketball analyst that’s how I
got my foot in the door our TV right but
I meant back to it with the process of
TV because as you know it’s amazing when
you have to be vulnerable to talk about
issues that a lot of people aren’t
willing to talk about on TV like there’s
a there’s something special about that
so if that’s me having conversations
with you know somebody I’m interviewing
or me being lost in you know telling
dialogue I love it
I got it’s my passion it’s my new
basketball court yes I love that man so
much so my thing is you you said
something I it was in the book you said
the reason that this has become like the
American like narrative for the comeback
story is because it erases the mistake
and I thought that is such a powerful
insight that is exactly why one you
would want to come back for yourself
right so then you know you can stop
feeling bad out of it right because
you’re playing it in your head for some
right so and then the other is it would
give hope to the people watch
you that I could erase my own mistakes
like there is a way to erase it now I’ve
never thought of it like that I think
it’s a really powerful insight but the
way that I do think about it I read one
time never let your past be bigger than
your future you know it’s funny too for
a while and not you’re dead-on with that
I associated bigger with monetary value
so for me it was like hey I could have
made 250 million in my MBA career how do
i how do I achieve that like that’s
that’s the goal that’s what bigger means
and bigger has changed for me too now
meaning impact right so yes I do want to
have my own media network one day I do
want to help other people film content I
love content but I rather I rather it be
I don’t worry about the money now the
money’s gonna take care of itself if I
impact people the rest will happen me
telling my story was selfish at first
because I wanted to write a book for me
I need it to write a book for me I
needed to sit down and really go through
the the good the bad and and really
write it out and I’d even know if I
wanted to share it at first because a
lot of you want to write a book they’re
not gonna be fully transparent like me
worried about what is my image what is
my image I’m portraying to everybody
else is this gonna hinder me from
getting other deals can I lose deals
that I currently have and riding it
after I got done it’s like wow that
feels good it feels good and it didn’t
matter what people said good or bad
some reviews killed my book other
reviews loved it it wasn’t I didn’t
write it
for them at first and then after I
started hearing people tell me their
stories oh like this is this is
what it’s all about you know and I used
to say all the time why me why me why me
and also in that conversation changed it
yeah okay like why not me why not me and
I think the more you can start looking
at facing adversity by saying why not me
you approach things with a completely
different mentality than the person who
feels like they’re going to be a victim
you start becoming the hunter again and
the more you can stay with that hunter
mentality it will pay dividends
down the con dude I love that that isn’t
thank you for that one I will remit
thank you are you kidding me I wish I
had my notebook I’m writing down
mentally right now so walk me through do
you know who Stephen Hawking is I do
okay so you want to talk about losing
your body and he’s got an amazing quote
that really empowered me and he said
when you complain nobody wants to help
you hmm
which I just thought okay if he’s
talking about that if he’s talking about
like not to be a victim and and he in
very similar ways to what you’re talking
about is now you found this new purpose
you gonna be able to help people
specifically because you were in the
accident he said look I’ve made these
contributions to physics because I lost
my body and you know up until that point
I was sort of a lad you know went out
drinking and partying with the boys and
never really took school seriously and
it was only in these moments that I
really as I lost my body it forced me to
really focus on my mind and build
something incredible and that concept to
me is is pretty breathtaking so while I
don’t think things happen for a reason
it’s incredibly powerful to see the
wisdom that people can mine from
whatever’s happened to them if they
choose if they choose for sure I think
choose is a really imperative word
because a lot of people choose not
choose not to you know follow up on
things that happened in their past or
said time to reflect and that’s why the
guy looted too earlier it’s amazing it’s
like this hamster will that people just
like a you know I see it all the time I
think New York City is a prime target
for it because I can walk down the
street and it’s no look there’s a
epidemic with homeless people in New
York right I think it’s throughout our
country too and there was a guy who
lived outside my apartment and I have a
place in Tribeca I’ve worked really hard
for it and it would shatter my soul
every morning when I would get up in my
apartment and I have these these big
windows and I look out and I see this
guy who’s homeless right and I was
sitting there one day and I saw so many
people just go by him just on their
phone not paying attention to him not
that he was looking for attention at all
and I got on my apartment I went down
I started talking to him you start
finding out this guy and his story and
where he’s from and in fact that he lost
his daughter and a really bad accident
he used to work on Wall Street and his
wife divorced him and you know he can’t
he can’t pick up the pieces and look I
wanted to help the guy and you try to
talk the guy down think he was all there
anymore I think he had he had so come to
the just the resentment and the the
contention he had for the world in
general okay but he said something I’m
so powerful to me because in the in a
moment when he was talking about all his
frustrations he said you know what
though I am where I am and only I can
change it
and I remember Wow
you know as much as we’re talking it you
are the only person that could change it
at the end of day people can want to
help you as much as they want to help
you and I don’t think complainings
answer either
I think vulnerability and and and
talking to people out what’s actually
going on in your life get some invested
in you and the more you listen to them
get some invest invested back in them
and that’s when a bond is formed but
that person can only take you so far you
have to want to take yourself to a
different place and if you don’t have
that then you’re gonna stay stuck and a
lot of people choose to stay stuck and
we see it every single day so that
always scares me
he’s self-aware enough to know that he
is the problem and the solution do you
have like a piece of advice that you get
or did you tell him anything
like what do you I didn’t really know
what to say as I give a moment and you
know I it scared I mean a lot of people
they may not properly articulate that
but they lived their lives that way I
mean I just I think the more you’re
willing to confront it the more you’re
willing to talk about I think it’s
Hawking helps man you know I know this
sounds cheesy not at all
but I talked to myself okay people have
seen me and think I’m a little bit crazy
but um you know I remind myself of what
happened you know I I wake up in the
morning and I
always make sure that I look at my leg I
had to I can’t pick up my big toe right
so I have to crack my toe my curl always
cracks and it hurts in the morning when
i crack it cuz it gets stiff and it just
alright my accident happened like June
19 2003 right it happened it sucked
it was painful but it happened it’s it’s
a part of my blueprint it doesn’t define
me but it’s a part of my story but a lot
of people allow that one moment to
define the rest of the story you can’t
allow that to happen and you have to be
vulnerable enough with yourself to
accept the fact that happened bad
stuff happens to everybody you have to
drive your own car and if you don’t
drive it somebody else gonna drive it
for you and that that other person is
driving it may not be a person it may be
a darkness that entity that we talked
about that is easy to get lost and
consumed in if you ever thought about
waking up looking at your leg cracking
your painful big toe and saying the
accident happened thank God and I am a
fundamentally different human being and
I’m going to impact the lives of
countless people because I have a mind
that is capable of suffering at a level
other people or not and because I went
through the darkest of periods and
clawed my way out not that it was easy
that I clawed my way out and I know how
to help people now in a way that I never
could have understood if I didn’t go
through it I I did say thank you
probably when I was thirty years old
five years ago I said thank you for
happening to me I’m still clawing now I
don’t think you ever call your way out I
think it’s a process it’s easy to go
back into that that’s why I talk about
you know reaffirming what happened and
reaffirming where you want to go to
yourself you know we spent so much time
talking to other people and giving other
people Hasaan what they need to do in
their life and sometimes you need sit
down give yourself advice on what’s
what’s best for you what’s some of the
best advice you’ve given yourself Wow I
can’t live in the past
I have to be present I thought I think
there a lot of times that you would see
me in moments where I wouldn’t be there
because I was too busy recounting what
was instead of what’s happening Carlene
I even what’s going to happen like it
just wasn’t even present I was just
there some other advice I think that uh
I have to continue to be better I know I
know it’s simple but I still I still
have faults man I still make mistakes
I’m not perfect I’m not perfect in
relationships I’ve hurt people and I’ve
been hurt it’s a challenge for me to
really let somebody in – you know my own
demons that I suffer from it’s a
challenge for me
in my relationship my father I love my
dad
wholeheartedly me writing the book hurt
our relationship to a degree I try to
talk to him about it it’s a work in
progress
it’s amazing how some of the people that
you love more than anything you have a
difficult time connecting to but you
feel the love you recognize it so I
think there’s so many aspects of me
where there is room for improvement and
there’s room for growth and like you
know people say I can’t believe you got
yourself out like I’m still getting
myself out of it and it’s never going to
stop and that’s a good thing because it
could have stopped on June 19th and if
it has stopped on June 19 2003 how sad
would that have been that I would even
have been able to spend time reflecting
on the that I was doing mm-hmm
so now it’s like I have it I have a
second chance I’m not gonna say that I
sometimes don’t get carried away or get
lost in what I’m doing I’m extremely
ambitious right just like you right so
you know that’s work I look some my
girlfriend needs to check me my mom
needs to check me I have these people
who are sounding boards in my life right
now who are willing to say difficult
things to me and I ask how many people
do you have that you allow it to be in
your circle that can say painful things
to you that you may not like to hear and
then once you hear them are you willing
to accept it I’ve been lucky enough to
have people in my life like that and I
make sure I try to stay surrounded with
those
that is wise yeah your whole concept of
having a board of people that really
have your best interests at heart and
and I think that’s my wife and I talk a
lot about that that notion of okay I’m
hearing something I don’t want to hear
this really hurts and from a random
person this may even lead to like me
shutting down not wanting to hear it but
because I can ask the question does this
person love me with yes an answer with
yes then you’ve got a shot to really
lower your defenses and hear it and
adopt it and that’s really really
important and this week it’s rewarding
is fulfilling it’s fulfilling to
recognize that nobody is the perfect end
product and everybody has stuff to work
on but once you’re able to say wow that
that is something I need to work on and
you feel yourself taking the steps
necessary to be better at it what advice
do you have for people that are going
through like real anguish like real pain
I guess either emotional physical and
what makes me ask this is I’m so curious
to know what your internal talk was like
during the early days of physical
therapy when it was just grueling hmm I
think the first thing is to and I would
I do this when I do talks and it’s
amazing to see how squirmish and
uncomfortable people get you hear that
that’s the only person you’re dealing
with is you hmm
when you’re quiet it’s fascinating it’s
fascinating to look inside yourself or
to spend time with yourself and whenever
I do a talk or when I talk to people oh
I think you’re going through a lot of
pain I first tell them okay I understand
what you’re going through but you just
need to stop for one second because what
we have a tendency to do is we over
inner date ourselves with other things
that really don’t matter they keep
ourselves busy to keep mouthing about
the things that do matter so once you’re
finally able to stop yourself and you’re
present with yourself you have to go
back and you have to address it I’m not
saying that you’re gonna find a
conclusion right then and there but you
have to recognize that whatever happened
did happen and I try to push people to
find silver linings I think there’s
truly a silver lining and everything and
once again it’s
what you choose to focus your energy on
if you choose to focus your energy on
all the things that God took away from
you or whatever entity that is that you
believe in took away from you then you
will be consumed with that energy if you
try to force yourself to be consumed
with the silver lining even if you
revert back you have to remind yourself
of the silver lining because it gives
you a target goal like you know it’s
mental targeting are you able to focus
on something that allows you to get out
of your own way
if you don’t have a goal to help you get
out of your own way you will be stuck so
what is that is that your wife is that
your parents whatever you need to use to
be better for you have to do that and
you have to find that this only had to
come from listening to yourself and
spending time with yourself
only way you’re going to grow you don’t
have to come back and do what you did
before and do it exponentially better
you have to come back better as a person
you don’t believe in yourself and who’s
going to be leaving you for younger kids
out there for older people out there if
I impact people the rest will happen
have you had a bad dream and you wake up
and you’re Mary right yes and you see
your wife and you’re like okay that was
a dream right all right I think for a
long time for two or three years I
thought I was living a fucked-up dream
hmm and I kept waiting to wake up I kept
waiting to wake up tim was the first
person that forced me to talk to talk
just to talk and it’s amazing when you
just open your mouth and you start
saying how you really feel about stuff I
mean think about how many people really
say how they feel virtually nobody
exactly and I think Tim was the first
person I actually started have like full
transparent transparent conversations
with right I was like I don’t like the
person I was he said what do you mean I
was like I cheated a lot my girlfriend I
lied a ton I was consumed by money
I said gamble I never gambled you know I
always say things just because it was
the right thing to say not that I was
maliciously a bad person right I just
never even thought about what my actions
were it was too busy moving and Tim
forced me to stop and I still stopped
myself to this day and you stop yourself
from what focusing on who you don’t want
to be and focus on who you do want to be
here I I just I press pause in life
sometimes and I think it helps I
recalibrate to try to get out of an
obsessive thought yes or just say you
know even the get out funks whatever
whatever maybe you know I’m a firm
believer or net you have to find balance
in life right so they’re gonna be times
where you’re your journeys gonna be down
here and it’s gonna be tough and the
same when things get high you know you
sign a new deal or you have you know you
have to be able to keep things in
perspective and I think sometimes when I
stopped I forced myself to assess okay
what are that where are the benefits you
know where are the negatives how can i
how can I turn this negative into a
positive
all right let me make sure that I don’t
get too high and I continue to keep my
head down and work harder because I I
want to achieve more if it’s not for me
for the people that work for me or for
my girlfriend or my mom deserves better
so I try to find that one thing because
I’m very goal-oriented
that I need to work towards and once I
achieve that it’s another goal and I
don’t want it to ever stop because
that’s what life should be agreed do you
think of yourself is young or old um old
interests um
I lived a life that has been different
not for better or for worse it’s just I
feel like I’m old soul it’s interesting
I ask because I’m intrigued
– I think what your story is and I’m
gonna reveal myself in my worldview in
this so I’m reading your story you want
to make the comeback and because the way
the book is told I didn’t know if you
make the comeback or not right so I
don’t follow sports so I didn’t know
like does this guy like go back to the
NBA and crush it like he’s like super
famous now or or do you not and there’s
no hints of it in the beginning of the
book so it’s like unfolding for me in
real time and and then when you don’t
make it and there’s the second attempted
suicide but I know that like you’re I
have the framework of what you do post
basketball so I didn’t know if it was
basketball injury basketball and then
post or just basketball injury and then
post but I know what you do post so I’m
like okay this works out somewhere like
at some point he gets back on track and
I am utterly convinced that and I don’t
believe things happen for a reason by
the way which I know you and I are
diametrically opposed on that so yeah I
don’t believe but I believe that there’s
so much meaning and power to be taken
from anything that happens so to me
looking at like okay I watched this kid
nobody gives him enough accolades for
how good he’s getting and he actually
understands the nature of getting good
it’s about practicing it’s about showing
up it’s about putting in the works about
doing more than other people are willing
to do he goes to college at Duke not
impressed with himself in his first
season but oh dear God kills himself
over the summer to really get
spectacular comes back crushes it could
have gone direct to the NBA feels a
sense of obligation which i think is
beautiful and even though there’s no
question you could have made more money
by going into the NBA financially maybe
that was a better decision but I’m
imagine
with the podium and everyone’s like
begging you for another year and you
give it to him yeah and I think this
beautiful man I think that was a
gift to that town it’s why your jersey
now hangs in the rafters like you did
something beautiful for that
organization I think it’s incredible
you do that you go into the NBA it’s all
turning to people are smoking weed
like before games there it’s like a
total mess you’re becoming somebody you
don’t want to be but by the end of the
season you figure it out and crush the
last 19 games if I’m not mistaken and
everybody’s like whoa the person you’re
becoming you’re about to become an
all-star and then like it’s a
movie that’s the moment that you have
the accident you have to rebuild we’ve
already talked about that but your mind
has been consistent through everything
okay the vast majority of humanity if I
take your life and I just take a million
people and I crush them through that
like the percentage of people that come
out the other side is virtually none so
for you like it’s the way that I think
of the inner cities the inner cities
consume most of the people that it
touches and they either literally die
young or they just go on to do nothing
but every now and then you get jay-z and
you go God for the right person like
this pressure cooker is it it’s the
pressure that makes the diamond right so
because AI think that I’m gonna live
forever truly and I understand a lot of
things have to happen for that to be
true but I extend that to you you’re
even younger than I am so you’re gonna
live forever it’s gonna be amazing
so now I want to see okay I know what
this guy’s been through I know the
diamond that his mind has become like
what awaits all of us on the other side
of that so that’s why I was freaking out
reading the book when you’re when you
literally try to cut through the word
believe and can’t by the way what do you
set huge goals for yourself now yes
every day and let me let me address one
other thing that you said that I find
fascinating because I think it’s it’s a
epidemic within our culture you know in
the American culture so it’s so funny
like the comeback right when I was when
I wanted to write my book I got turned
down by multiple publishing agencies if
you’re like well like you didn’t come
back right you know
and I think that’s like the American
like due to American
xscape of how we look at things like why
did it come back and crush it and and
and that’s a comeback story and like
no like I came back mentally right like
that’s a story like that’s it that’s a
story that should be cherished for
younger kids out there for older people
out there doesn’t matter you don’t have
to come back and do what you did before
and do it exponentially better you have
to come back better as a person and and
and really value that process that’s a
comeback like that’s that that should be
an American story so yeah I think my my
goals are a little bit outlandish for
myself I want to own my own media
network one day man that’s where I so
that’s what they know I came I was like
hey this is like God saying right like I
you know I have a two-bedroom apartment
in New York I you know my mom comes and
unfortunately there’s a there’s a big
camera in a room and there’s lights and
she’s like she’s like are you filming me
while I sleep and I was like no but now
I made cuz it made the interesting
content yeah but like III think about
hey how can i how can I be bigger and
better and I think about now how can I
break outside this mold of just being a
college basketball analyst that’s how I
got my foot in the door our TV right but
I meant back to it with the process of
TV because as you know it’s amazing when
you have to be vulnerable to talk about
issues that a lot of people aren’t
willing to talk about on TV like there’s
a there’s something special about that
so if that’s me having conversations
with you know somebody I’m interviewing
or me being lost in you know telling
dialogue I love it
I got it’s my passion it’s my new
basketball court yes I love that man so
much so my thing is you you said
something I it was in the book you said
the reason that this has become like the
American like narrative for the comeback
story is because it erases the mistake
and I thought that is such a powerful
insight that is exactly why one you
would want to come back for yourself
right so then you know you can stop
feeling bad out of it right because
you’re playing it in your head for some
right so and then the other is it would
give hope to the people watch
you that I could erase my own mistakes
like there is a way to erase it now I’ve
never thought of it like that I think
it’s a really powerful insight but the
way that I do think about it I read one
time never let your past be bigger than
your future you know it’s funny too for
a while and not you’re dead-on with that
I associated bigger with monetary value
so for me it was like hey I could have
made 250 million in my MBA career how do
i how do I achieve that like that’s
that’s the goal that’s what bigger means
and bigger has changed for me too now
meaning impact right so yes I do want to
have my own media network one day I do
want to help other people film content I
love content but I rather I rather it be
I don’t worry about the money now the
money’s gonna take care of itself if I
impact people the rest will happen me
telling my story was selfish at first
because I wanted to write a book for me
I need it to write a book for me I
needed to sit down and really go through
the the good the bad and and really
write it out and I’d even know if I
wanted to share it at first because a
lot of you want to write a book they’re
not gonna be fully transparent like me
worried about what is my image what is
my image I’m portraying to everybody
else is this gonna hinder me from
getting other deals can I lose deals
that I currently have and riding it
after I got done it’s like wow that
feels good it feels good and it didn’t
matter what people said good or bad
some reviews killed my book other
reviews loved it it wasn’t I didn’t
write it
for them at first and then after I
started hearing people tell me their
stories oh like this is this is
what it’s all about you know and I used
to say all the time why me why me why me
and also in that conversation changed it
yeah okay like why not me why not me and
I think the more you can start looking
at facing adversity by saying why not me
you approach things with a completely
different mentality than the person who
feels like they’re going to be a victim
you start becoming the hunter again and
the more you can stay with that hunter
mentality it will pay dividends
down the con dude I love that that isn’t
thank you for that one I will remit
thank you are you kidding me I wish I
had my notebook I’m writing down
mentally right now so walk me through do
you know who Stephen Hawking is I do
okay so you want to talk about losing
your body and he’s got an amazing quote
that really empowered me and he said
when you complain nobody wants to help
you hmm
which I just thought okay if he’s
talking about that if he’s talking about
like not to be a victim and and he in
very similar ways to what you’re talking
about is now you found this new purpose
you gonna be able to help people
specifically because you were in the
accident he said look I’ve made these
contributions to physics because I lost
my body and you know up until that point
I was sort of a lad you know went out
drinking and partying with the boys and
never really took school seriously and
it was only in these moments that I
really as I lost my body it forced me to
really focus on my mind and build
something incredible and that concept to
me is is pretty breathtaking so while I
don’t think things happen for a reason
it’s incredibly powerful to see the
wisdom that people can mine from
whatever’s happened to them if they
choose if they choose for sure I think
choose is a really imperative word
because a lot of people choose not
choose not to you know follow up on
things that happened in their past or
said time to reflect and that’s why the
guy looted too earlier it’s amazing it’s
like this hamster will that people just
like a you know I see it all the time I
think New York City is a prime target
for it because I can walk down the
street and it’s no look there’s a
epidemic with homeless people in New
York right I think it’s throughout our
country too and there was a guy who
lived outside my apartment and I have a
place in Tribeca I’ve worked really hard
for it and it would shatter my soul
every morning when I would get up in my
apartment and I have these these big
windows and I look out and I see this
guy who’s homeless right and I was
sitting there one day and I saw so many
people just go by him just on their
phone not paying attention to him not
that he was looking for attention at all
and I got on my apartment I went down
I started talking to him you start
finding out this guy and his story and
where he’s from and in fact that he lost
his daughter and a really bad accident
he used to work on Wall Street and his
wife divorced him and you know he can’t
he can’t pick up the pieces and look I
wanted to help the guy and you try to
talk the guy down think he was all there
anymore I think he had he had so come to
the just the resentment and the the
contention he had for the world in
general okay but he said something I’m
so powerful to me because in the in a
moment when he was talking about all his
frustrations he said you know what
though I am where I am and only I can
change it
and I remember Wow
you know as much as we’re talking it you
are the only person that could change it
at the end of day people can want to
help you as much as they want to help
you and I don’t think complainings
answer either
I think vulnerability and and and
talking to people out what’s actually
going on in your life get some invested
in you and the more you listen to them
get some invest invested back in them
and that’s when a bond is formed but
that person can only take you so far you
have to want to take yourself to a
different place and if you don’t have
that then you’re gonna stay stuck and a
lot of people choose to stay stuck and
we see it every single day so that
always scares me
he’s self-aware enough to know that he
is the problem and the solution do you
have like a piece of advice that you get
or did you tell him anything
like what do you I didn’t really know
what to say as I give a moment and you
know I it scared I mean a lot of people
they may not properly articulate that
but they lived their lives that way I
mean I just I think the more you’re
willing to confront it the more you’re
willing to talk about I think it’s
Hawking helps man you know I know this
sounds cheesy not at all
but I talked to myself okay people have
seen me and think I’m a little bit crazy
but um you know I remind myself of what
happened you know I I wake up in the
morning and I
always make sure that I look at my leg I
had to I can’t pick up my big toe right
so I have to crack my toe my curl always
cracks and it hurts in the morning when
i crack it cuz it gets stiff and it just
alright my accident happened like June
19 2003 right it happened it sucked
it was painful but it happened it’s it’s
a part of my blueprint it doesn’t define
me but it’s a part of my story but a lot
of people allow that one moment to
define the rest of the story you can’t
allow that to happen and you have to be
vulnerable enough with yourself to
accept the fact that happened bad
stuff happens to everybody you have to
drive your own car and if you don’t
drive it somebody else gonna drive it
for you and that that other person is
driving it may not be a person it may be
a darkness that entity that we talked
about that is easy to get lost and
consumed in if you ever thought about
waking up looking at your leg cracking
your painful big toe and saying the
accident happened thank God and I am a
fundamentally different human being and
I’m going to impact the lives of
countless people because I have a mind
that is capable of suffering at a level
other people or not and because I went
through the darkest of periods and
clawed my way out not that it was easy
that I clawed my way out and I know how
to help people now in a way that I never
could have understood if I didn’t go
through it I I did say thank you
probably when I was thirty years old
five years ago I said thank you for
happening to me I’m still clawing now I
don’t think you ever call your way out I
think it’s a process it’s easy to go
back into that that’s why I talk about
you know reaffirming what happened and
reaffirming where you want to go to
yourself you know we spent so much time
talking to other people and giving other
people Hasaan what they need to do in
their life and sometimes you need sit
down give yourself advice on what’s
what’s best for you what’s some of the
best advice you’ve given yourself Wow I
can’t live in the past
I have to be present I thought I think
there a lot of times that you would see
me in moments where I wouldn’t be there
because I was too busy recounting what
was instead of what’s happening Carlene
I even what’s going to happen like it
just wasn’t even present I was just
there some other advice I think that uh
I have to continue to be better I know I
know it’s simple but I still I still
have faults man I still make mistakes
I’m not perfect I’m not perfect in
relationships I’ve hurt people and I’ve
been hurt it’s a challenge for me to
really let somebody in – you know my own
demons that I suffer from it’s a
challenge for me
in my relationship my father I love my
dad
wholeheartedly me writing the book hurt
our relationship to a degree I try to
talk to him about it it’s a work in
progress
it’s amazing how some of the people that
you love more than anything you have a
difficult time connecting to but you
feel the love you recognize it so I
think there’s so many aspects of me
where there is room for improvement and
there’s room for growth and like you
know people say I can’t believe you got
yourself out like I’m still getting
myself out of it and it’s never going to
stop and that’s a good thing because it
could have stopped on June 19th and if
it has stopped on June 19 2003 how sad
would that have been that I would even
have been able to spend time reflecting
on the that I was doing mm-hmm
so now it’s like I have it I have a
second chance I’m not gonna say that I
sometimes don’t get carried away or get
lost in what I’m doing I’m extremely
ambitious right just like you right so
you know that’s work I look some my
girlfriend needs to check me my mom
needs to check me I have these people
who are sounding boards in my life right
now who are willing to say difficult
things to me and I ask how many people
do you have that you allow it to be in
your circle that can say painful things
to you that you may not like to hear and
then once you hear them are you willing
to accept it I’ve been lucky enough to
have people in my life like that and I
make sure I try to stay surrounded with
those
that is wise yeah your whole concept of
having a board of people that really
have your best interests at heart and
and I think that’s my wife and I talk a
lot about that that notion of okay I’m
hearing something I don’t want to hear
this really hurts and from a random
person this may even lead to like me
shutting down not wanting to hear it but
because I can ask the question does this
person love me with yes an answer with
yes then you’ve got a shot to really
lower your defenses and hear it and
adopt it and that’s really really
important and this week it’s rewarding
is fulfilling it’s fulfilling to
recognize that nobody is the perfect end
product and everybody has stuff to work
on but once you’re able to say wow that
that is something I need to work on and
you feel yourself taking the steps
necessary to be better at it what advice
do you have for people that are going
through like real anguish like real pain
I guess either emotional physical and
what makes me ask this is I’m so curious
to know what your internal talk was like
during the early days of physical
therapy when it was just grueling hmm I
think the first thing is to and I would
I do this when I do talks and it’s
amazing to see how squirmish and
uncomfortable people get you hear that
that’s the only person you’re dealing
with is you hmm
when you’re quiet it’s fascinating it’s
fascinating to look inside yourself or
to spend time with yourself and whenever
I do a talk or when I talk to people oh
I think you’re going through a lot of
pain I first tell them okay I understand
what you’re going through but you just
need to stop for one second because what
we have a tendency to do is we over
inner date ourselves with other things
that really don’t matter they keep
ourselves busy to keep mouthing about
the things that do matter so once you’re
finally able to stop yourself and you’re
present with yourself you have to go
back and you have to address it I’m not
saying that you’re gonna find a
conclusion right then and there but you
have to recognize that whatever happened
did happen and I try to push people to
find silver linings I think there’s
truly a silver lining and everything and
once again it’s
what you choose to focus your energy on
if you choose to focus your energy on
all the things that God took away from
you or whatever entity that is that you
believe in took away from you then you
will be consumed with that energy if you
try to force yourself to be consumed
with the silver lining even if you
revert back you have to remind yourself
of the silver lining because it gives
you a target goal like you know it’s
mental targeting are you able to focus
on something that allows you to get out
of your own way
if you don’t have a goal to help you get
out of your own way you will be stuck so
what is that is that your wife is that
your parents whatever you need to use to
be better for you have to do that and
you have to find that this only had to
come from listening to yourself and
spending time with yourself
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