ever tried ever failed no matter
try again fail again fail better I had
so many dreams of where I wanted to go
who I wanted to be and what I wanted to
do theater companies I wanted to start
with classmates movies I wanted to be in
directors I wanted to work with stories
I weeded to tell it might take a little
time I thought but it would happen when
i sat there excuse me
22 years ago what I didn’t want to think
about is where I would be tomorrow what
I would have to start to do tomorrow
[Music]
and I graduated in 1991 a great year a
time of resurgence for independent films
in this country a time of relatively
affordable rents in New York City as the
I assumed that I could make a living
writing my plays acting way off off off
Broadway and hopefully well one day join
the actors I loved and respected in
those independent films TV oh what no
what you kidding me
no didn’t even consider that I had much
more class than that much more
self-respect than that what I didn’t
have was cash a bank account a credit
card or an apartment tax a life that I
knew with socks and a toothbrush into my
backpack and I slept on couch after
couch after couch after couch at friends
apartments in New York until I wore out
their rent paying roommates welcome I
didn’t want a day job I was an actor I
was a writer I was a Bennington graduate
I had to get a day job I dusted pianos
at a piano store on Ludlow Street for
five months I worked on the property of
a Shakespeare scholar for a year pulling
weeds and removing bees nests I went on
unemployment once but for not for long I
couldn’t handle the guilt
eventually I was able to pay rent for a
spot on the floor of an apartment on the
Lower East Side but my roommate had a
breakdown and disappeared he later
resurfaced in a religious cult
I helped hang paintings at galleries
paintings that inspired inspire you to
think I could do that and then finally
after two years of job and couchsurfing
I got a job in application processing as
a data enter er at a place called
professional examination services and I
stayed for six years six years
longer than my time and Bennington from
the age of 23 to 29 all they loved me
there I was funny I wore black no cape
no type I smoked in the loading docks
with the guys from the mailroom and we
shared how hungover we all were
I called them sick almost every Friday
because I was out late the night before
I hated that job and I clung to that job
because of that job I could afford my
own place
so I lived in Williamsburg Brooklyn my
ran was $400 a month my dream of running
a theater company with my friend and
fellow Bennington graduate Ian Bell had
died I won’t go into those details but
neither one of us had any business sense
and the theater we lived in it had no
heat or hot water so Ian moved out to
Seattle and I moved up the street to my
loft and I still didn’t have heat in
1993 industrial loft meant not legal to
live there so I had no heat no acting
agent but I had a cat named Brian who
told me of the world outside this is a
happy ending when I was 29 I told myself
the next acting job I get no matter what
it pays I will from now on for better or
worse be a working actor so equipment
position at the professional examination
services my friends really weren’t happy
about that because he was so easy to
find me when I worked there worked was
though was the only place I had the
Internet this was at the beginning of
the Internet and now I didn’t have
either the internet for a cellphone for
a job but something good happened
I got a low-paying theater job in a play
called imperfect love which led to a
film called 13 moons with the same
writer which led to other roles as led
to other roles and I’ve worked as an
actor ever since I didn’t know that
would happen at 29 walking away from
data processing I was terrified 10 years
in a place without he six years at a job
I felt stuck in maybe I was afraid of
change are you my parents didn’t have
much money but they struggled to send me
to the best school and one of the most
important things they did for me and
graduates maybe you don’t want to hear
this is that once I graduated I was on
my own
financially it was my turn but this made
me very hungry
literally I couldn’t be lazy
I couldn’t be and so at 29 in a very
long last I was in the company of the
actors and writers and directors I’d
sought out that first year that first
day after school I was I am by their
sides
raise the rest of your life to meet you
don’t search for defining moments
because they will never come
well the birth of your children okay
forget about that just six months she’s
my life is forever changed that’s most
defining moment ever but I’m talking
about on the rest of your life and most
importantly in your work the moments
that define you have already happened
and they will already happen again
and the gases so quickly so please bring
each other along with you
everyone you need is in this room these
are the shiny more important people a
rhythm sets in just like it did after
your first few days here just try not to
wait until like me you’re 29 before you
find it and if you are that’s fine too
some of us never find it but you will I
promise you you are already here that’s
such an enormous step all its own you’ll
find your rhythm or continue the one you
have already found
I was walking in downtown and Manhattan
another day and I was approached by a
group of very sweet young ladies they
didn’t know what to say or couldn’t form
the words but it came out that they were
NYU freshmen and they were majoring in
musical theater of course Tom there are
like science majors there running after
me
what musicals are you doing I inquired
well one of them said looking down had
her shoes we aren’t allowed to be in
plays or yes our freshman year now
they were paying a very high tuition to
not do what they love doing I think I
said well hang in there what I should
have said was don’t wait until they tell
you you are ready get in there
sing the world might say you are not
allowed to yet I waited a long time out
in the world before I gave myself
permission to sail
please don’t even bother asking don’t
bother telling the world you are ready
show it do it
what did that kid say
ever tried ever failed no matter
try again fail again fail better the
world is yours treat everyone kindly and
light up the night
[Music]
well guys I was born this way and
there’s no medical reason why that
happened my brother and my sister were
born with arms and legs and sometimes in
life things happen that don’t make sense
my doctors never thought that I’d be
able to walk and today I’m walking my
parents always said Nick you don’t know
where you can achieve until you try it
and the doctors looked at me and said
he’s not going to walk he’s not going to
go to school he’s not going to do
anything he’s mine and then my parents
they just loved me like crazy and said
you got to try try this try that try
this try that and I’m thinking sometimes
like mom and dad you’re crazy man I have
no one no legs how would I ever be able
to do this or do that but they
encouraged me and they loved me and as
human beings we’re waiting for stuff
like that we all want love we all want
love and you know I went to school and
and I’ll and I want it to be cool you
know you go to school and and you you
want to be accepted you know and so you
see these guys in like oh man you know
everyone swears like every third
sentence at this and at that and F and s
and FS like what like that they think
they’re cool you know it’s only command
that maybe I need to be like them to be
cool and then you compare each other
with how we look and and I wish I was
smart I wish I was taller I wish I were
shorter I wish I was more popular I wish
I did this I wish I didn’t have that I
wish my life was different that was me
when I was about eight years old I
looked at myself and looked at everybody
else and everyone else has more than me
and I’m asking why why me have you ever
asked the why me question
but get nowhere if I had no answers from
the doctors and if I had no answers from
my parents I still have a choice
every day in my life to keep going or
give up that’s my full potential in all
that I can be here on earth and so
encouragement takes me closer to all
that I can be and discouragement takes
me away you see it only takes three
seconds for someone to tease me when I
was at school and just saying hey yeah
believe it
hey you can’t do this and you can’t do
that and some of you thinking like man
seriously you had kids picking on you
like how heartless are those kids
picking on me with no limbs like you
would probably say well I’m not that bad
I wouldn’t pick on the kid with no limbs
but why would you pick on anyone well
because it’s fun it’s just culture okay
we’ll get to that but for me me facing
all that stuff I’m getting these seeds
everybody say seeds se EDS seeds have
you seen the pictures of the Sequoia
Reds up here in California these huge
trees like some of the trunks could be
as nearly big as this room I’ve seen
those photos where they’ve actually dug
out a tunnel in a trunk of the tree you
can drive a full-size SUV right through
it battle started with a little seed if
you leave a seed of wise in your heart
in your mind and you don’t know the
truth you don’t know the truth you will
die with the lie I started dying
because I started believing what I was
told I want you to know the three things
that I needed to come to in my life is
the truth of my value the truth of my
purpose and the truth of my destiny I
want you to know something in our mind
we put ourselves down all the time I
want to ask you today do you think I’m
cool enough to be your friend but I
don’t swear I don’t use the f-bomb am i
still cool enough to be your friend but
I don’t tease people am I still cool
enough to be your friend but I have no
arms no legs seriously you would be my
friend even though I have no arms their
legs so you telling me it actually
doesn’t matter right if it actually
doesn’t matter for how we look then why
do we tease each other for how we look
if it actually
there were 12 people one day teased me
taking me away from my home but twelve
people teased me one day and I can put a
pretty brave face on but cry on the
inside grill oh it doesn’t hurt her
there was this one bully I became his
target for three weeks and every time I
go buying him I was 13 he was 17 I was
in my chair I’m only four foot nine in
my other chair my old chair he’s like
six something so he’s huge right so I’m
looking up at him and every time I go by
him he’s like hey there’s Nick he has no
and you can imagine what he said and I’m
like what’s his problem man so I would
try to avoid him and I was so
embarrassed you’d say really loud it
everybody would be looking and some
would be laugh and I’m like what is this
guy’s problem man so one day after three
weeks I went up to him and I said hey
he’s like hey I said can you please stop
it he said stop wha
I said stop teasing me he said what are
you talking about I said every time I
walk by you see that stuff he’s like
what stuff you didn’t know how to take
me on some agamas and nah man every time
I walk by you say exactly this I want
you to start I forgive you but stop it
it’s like always I’m hurting you now
could have said nah
or I could have said yeah it takes a
level of humility to actually say I’m
actually
I don’t like that it’s killing me
they said yeah it’s hurting me
he said all right I’m sorry man I was
just you know playing around to give me
a hug he said wife I said give me a hug
like alright so again my hug I’m a
hugging machine we hugged the we made
the Guinness Book of World Records 1749
hugs in one year we did it last year my
arms fell off
alright the scary thing about hugging so
many people is that anyone can just pick
me up and take me home all right like
what am I going to do like enemas on
pretty mean heads alright I want you to
know that you might be playing around I
could pretty much say that 98% of you
have teased someone in your life I tried
to commit suicide because of people who
thought that were having fun not knowing
the hell that I was going through the
people you’re teasing what if the person
you’re teasing is the person who’s
thinking of committing suicide what if
the person you’re teasing is the one
who’s trying to commit suicide
who hates their life because of you
you don’t know if the person you are
teasing is the son or daughter of the
drunk at home getting abused and all
they need is someone like you to keep on
pushing him this way
we need hope to find something else to
do find positive things in your own life
I don’t care about how you look I’ll
never ever ever tease you I will never
tease you I could give you I could be
tough people thinking that bullying is
tough kid ain’t tough you want to know
what tough is go to the people you tease
and say sorry you want to know what
tough is go up to the people who still
tease you and say hey stop it and
forgive you but please stop it that’s
time I want you to know something the
truth of who you are I don’t care what
job you get I don’t care I don’t care
how smart you are everyone I don’t care
I don’t care I love you and I believe in
you I don’t care if you end up being a
janitor in this school I’ll tell you why
because the janitor in my high school
inspires me to be a speaker
he changed my life
[Music]
you
try again fail again fail better I had
so many dreams of where I wanted to go
who I wanted to be and what I wanted to
do theater companies I wanted to start
with classmates movies I wanted to be in
directors I wanted to work with stories
I weeded to tell it might take a little
time I thought but it would happen when
i sat there excuse me
22 years ago what I didn’t want to think
about is where I would be tomorrow what
I would have to start to do tomorrow
[Music]
and I graduated in 1991 a great year a
time of resurgence for independent films
in this country a time of relatively
affordable rents in New York City as the
I assumed that I could make a living
writing my plays acting way off off off
Broadway and hopefully well one day join
the actors I loved and respected in
those independent films TV oh what no
what you kidding me
no didn’t even consider that I had much
more class than that much more
self-respect than that what I didn’t
have was cash a bank account a credit
card or an apartment tax a life that I
knew with socks and a toothbrush into my
backpack and I slept on couch after
couch after couch after couch at friends
apartments in New York until I wore out
their rent paying roommates welcome I
didn’t want a day job I was an actor I
was a writer I was a Bennington graduate
I had to get a day job I dusted pianos
at a piano store on Ludlow Street for
five months I worked on the property of
a Shakespeare scholar for a year pulling
weeds and removing bees nests I went on
unemployment once but for not for long I
couldn’t handle the guilt
eventually I was able to pay rent for a
spot on the floor of an apartment on the
Lower East Side but my roommate had a
breakdown and disappeared he later
resurfaced in a religious cult
I helped hang paintings at galleries
paintings that inspired inspire you to
think I could do that and then finally
after two years of job and couchsurfing
I got a job in application processing as
a data enter er at a place called
professional examination services and I
stayed for six years six years
longer than my time and Bennington from
the age of 23 to 29 all they loved me
there I was funny I wore black no cape
no type I smoked in the loading docks
with the guys from the mailroom and we
shared how hungover we all were
I called them sick almost every Friday
because I was out late the night before
I hated that job and I clung to that job
because of that job I could afford my
own place
so I lived in Williamsburg Brooklyn my
ran was $400 a month my dream of running
a theater company with my friend and
fellow Bennington graduate Ian Bell had
died I won’t go into those details but
neither one of us had any business sense
and the theater we lived in it had no
heat or hot water so Ian moved out to
Seattle and I moved up the street to my
loft and I still didn’t have heat in
1993 industrial loft meant not legal to
live there so I had no heat no acting
agent but I had a cat named Brian who
told me of the world outside this is a
happy ending when I was 29 I told myself
the next acting job I get no matter what
it pays I will from now on for better or
worse be a working actor so equipment
position at the professional examination
services my friends really weren’t happy
about that because he was so easy to
find me when I worked there worked was
though was the only place I had the
Internet this was at the beginning of
the Internet and now I didn’t have
either the internet for a cellphone for
a job but something good happened
I got a low-paying theater job in a play
called imperfect love which led to a
film called 13 moons with the same
writer which led to other roles as led
to other roles and I’ve worked as an
actor ever since I didn’t know that
would happen at 29 walking away from
data processing I was terrified 10 years
in a place without he six years at a job
I felt stuck in maybe I was afraid of
change are you my parents didn’t have
much money but they struggled to send me
to the best school and one of the most
important things they did for me and
graduates maybe you don’t want to hear
this is that once I graduated I was on
my own
financially it was my turn but this made
me very hungry
literally I couldn’t be lazy
I couldn’t be and so at 29 in a very
long last I was in the company of the
actors and writers and directors I’d
sought out that first year that first
day after school I was I am by their
sides
raise the rest of your life to meet you
don’t search for defining moments
because they will never come
well the birth of your children okay
forget about that just six months she’s
my life is forever changed that’s most
defining moment ever but I’m talking
about on the rest of your life and most
importantly in your work the moments
that define you have already happened
and they will already happen again
and the gases so quickly so please bring
each other along with you
everyone you need is in this room these
are the shiny more important people a
rhythm sets in just like it did after
your first few days here just try not to
wait until like me you’re 29 before you
find it and if you are that’s fine too
some of us never find it but you will I
promise you you are already here that’s
such an enormous step all its own you’ll
find your rhythm or continue the one you
have already found
I was walking in downtown and Manhattan
another day and I was approached by a
group of very sweet young ladies they
didn’t know what to say or couldn’t form
the words but it came out that they were
NYU freshmen and they were majoring in
musical theater of course Tom there are
like science majors there running after
me
what musicals are you doing I inquired
well one of them said looking down had
her shoes we aren’t allowed to be in
plays or yes our freshman year now
they were paying a very high tuition to
not do what they love doing I think I
said well hang in there what I should
have said was don’t wait until they tell
you you are ready get in there
sing the world might say you are not
allowed to yet I waited a long time out
in the world before I gave myself
permission to sail
please don’t even bother asking don’t
bother telling the world you are ready
show it do it
what did that kid say
ever tried ever failed no matter
try again fail again fail better the
world is yours treat everyone kindly and
light up the night
[Music]
well guys I was born this way and
there’s no medical reason why that
happened my brother and my sister were
born with arms and legs and sometimes in
life things happen that don’t make sense
my doctors never thought that I’d be
able to walk and today I’m walking my
parents always said Nick you don’t know
where you can achieve until you try it
and the doctors looked at me and said
he’s not going to walk he’s not going to
go to school he’s not going to do
anything he’s mine and then my parents
they just loved me like crazy and said
you got to try try this try that try
this try that and I’m thinking sometimes
like mom and dad you’re crazy man I have
no one no legs how would I ever be able
to do this or do that but they
encouraged me and they loved me and as
human beings we’re waiting for stuff
like that we all want love we all want
love and you know I went to school and
and I’ll and I want it to be cool you
know you go to school and and you you
want to be accepted you know and so you
see these guys in like oh man you know
everyone swears like every third
sentence at this and at that and F and s
and FS like what like that they think
they’re cool you know it’s only command
that maybe I need to be like them to be
cool and then you compare each other
with how we look and and I wish I was
smart I wish I was taller I wish I were
shorter I wish I was more popular I wish
I did this I wish I didn’t have that I
wish my life was different that was me
when I was about eight years old I
looked at myself and looked at everybody
else and everyone else has more than me
and I’m asking why why me have you ever
asked the why me question
but get nowhere if I had no answers from
the doctors and if I had no answers from
my parents I still have a choice
every day in my life to keep going or
give up that’s my full potential in all
that I can be here on earth and so
encouragement takes me closer to all
that I can be and discouragement takes
me away you see it only takes three
seconds for someone to tease me when I
was at school and just saying hey yeah
believe it
hey you can’t do this and you can’t do
that and some of you thinking like man
seriously you had kids picking on you
like how heartless are those kids
picking on me with no limbs like you
would probably say well I’m not that bad
I wouldn’t pick on the kid with no limbs
but why would you pick on anyone well
because it’s fun it’s just culture okay
we’ll get to that but for me me facing
all that stuff I’m getting these seeds
everybody say seeds se EDS seeds have
you seen the pictures of the Sequoia
Reds up here in California these huge
trees like some of the trunks could be
as nearly big as this room I’ve seen
those photos where they’ve actually dug
out a tunnel in a trunk of the tree you
can drive a full-size SUV right through
it battle started with a little seed if
you leave a seed of wise in your heart
in your mind and you don’t know the
truth you don’t know the truth you will
die with the lie I started dying
because I started believing what I was
told I want you to know the three things
that I needed to come to in my life is
the truth of my value the truth of my
purpose and the truth of my destiny I
want you to know something in our mind
we put ourselves down all the time I
want to ask you today do you think I’m
cool enough to be your friend but I
don’t swear I don’t use the f-bomb am i
still cool enough to be your friend but
I don’t tease people am I still cool
enough to be your friend but I have no
arms no legs seriously you would be my
friend even though I have no arms their
legs so you telling me it actually
doesn’t matter right if it actually
doesn’t matter for how we look then why
do we tease each other for how we look
if it actually
there were 12 people one day teased me
taking me away from my home but twelve
people teased me one day and I can put a
pretty brave face on but cry on the
inside grill oh it doesn’t hurt her
there was this one bully I became his
target for three weeks and every time I
go buying him I was 13 he was 17 I was
in my chair I’m only four foot nine in
my other chair my old chair he’s like
six something so he’s huge right so I’m
looking up at him and every time I go by
him he’s like hey there’s Nick he has no
and you can imagine what he said and I’m
like what’s his problem man so I would
try to avoid him and I was so
embarrassed you’d say really loud it
everybody would be looking and some
would be laugh and I’m like what is this
guy’s problem man so one day after three
weeks I went up to him and I said hey
he’s like hey I said can you please stop
it he said stop wha
I said stop teasing me he said what are
you talking about I said every time I
walk by you see that stuff he’s like
what stuff you didn’t know how to take
me on some agamas and nah man every time
I walk by you say exactly this I want
you to start I forgive you but stop it
it’s like always I’m hurting you now
could have said nah
or I could have said yeah it takes a
level of humility to actually say I’m
actually
I don’t like that it’s killing me
they said yeah it’s hurting me
he said all right I’m sorry man I was
just you know playing around to give me
a hug he said wife I said give me a hug
like alright so again my hug I’m a
hugging machine we hugged the we made
the Guinness Book of World Records 1749
hugs in one year we did it last year my
arms fell off
alright the scary thing about hugging so
many people is that anyone can just pick
me up and take me home all right like
what am I going to do like enemas on
pretty mean heads alright I want you to
know that you might be playing around I
could pretty much say that 98% of you
have teased someone in your life I tried
to commit suicide because of people who
thought that were having fun not knowing
the hell that I was going through the
people you’re teasing what if the person
you’re teasing is the person who’s
thinking of committing suicide what if
the person you’re teasing is the one
who’s trying to commit suicide
who hates their life because of you
you don’t know if the person you are
teasing is the son or daughter of the
drunk at home getting abused and all
they need is someone like you to keep on
pushing him this way
we need hope to find something else to
do find positive things in your own life
I don’t care about how you look I’ll
never ever ever tease you I will never
tease you I could give you I could be
tough people thinking that bullying is
tough kid ain’t tough you want to know
what tough is go to the people you tease
and say sorry you want to know what
tough is go up to the people who still
tease you and say hey stop it and
forgive you but please stop it that’s
time I want you to know something the
truth of who you are I don’t care what
job you get I don’t care I don’t care
how smart you are everyone I don’t care
I don’t care I love you and I believe in
you I don’t care if you end up being a
janitor in this school I’ll tell you why
because the janitor in my high school
inspires me to be a speaker
he changed my life
[Music]
you
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