it almost died about ten years ago
and I was fortunate enough to come out
on the other side of that and so when I
came out on the other side of that not
that I didn’t approach my life in a
certain way before but it just made me
appreciate life that much more and so
every day I’m chasing something
different every day the way I operate
it’s totally different and it’s not
about the product for me as much as it
is about the process and what I mean
about the process the process saved my
life meaning the way I go about my life
and the way I approach certain things it
saved my life
it wasn’t because I was just talented
kid it wasn’t because I was this
privileged kid it wasn’t because of the
way that I approached the process and
the things that I understood about what
the process can produce in my life and
I’m gonna give you an example it’s not
so much about when I played the game of
football it wasn’t about the stats for
me it was more about me taking pride and
coming out down after down quarter after
quarter and dominating my opponent and
basically imposing my will on him to the
point where he looked at his coach and
said man I don’t want to go out and face
him again because I know not only is he
going to beat me he’s going to have fun
with it and he’s going to bring it every
single play every single quarter that’s
a different type of pride but to give
you the back story of how I became the
individual that I am I carried two
things with me everywhere that I go and
I’m talking about everywhere that I go I
carry a football with me and I carry a
bucket and the football the back story
to the football is just I got a good
friend a guy by the name of Eric Barry
he’s in the NFL now he went first round
5th pick to the Kansas City Chiefs one
of the highest-paid safeties in the NFL
really talented kid and so last year I
went up to watch him play and I get up
to about two games a year and I went up
to watch him play and they played
against the Seattle Seahawks he went out
he played lights-out after game he came
over to me they had a football and so he
tossed me the football and I caught the
football and as I was tossing it back to
him I said man what’s that he said Inc
that’s the game ball I said man you keep
that he said no ink I’ll get plenty more
of those he said I want you to give that
to your son so I said I appreciate it
and so I looked at the barn owner it had
to score 20 20 for Kansas City Chiefs
have been legendary only and they had
the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 the next
week they went out to play against the
Oakland Raiders that got late in the
game my guy he went up he filled the
Gaffney
running back and at the point of contact
when he hit the guy I knew something
wasn’t right I didn’t know what it was
but I knew something wasn’t right and so
he came he was jogging off the field he
got over to the sideline
they started touching filling around the
shoulder area the next morning he called
me said big bro did you see the game I
said yeah I saw the game but what I did
notice you didn’t finish the game what
happened
he said yeah because when I hit that
running back it felt as if I knocked
something loose in my shoulder and I got
over to the sideline they started
touching and filling they come find
anything so they’re taking me to the
hospital in Kansas City I said call me
after you come from the hospital he
called me up he came from the hospital I
said what did they say he said man ain’t
they told me they found a mass in my
chest the size of a softball I said what
did you say he said man I asked him can
i still play Sunday Beach right and he
said the doctors responded by saying no
son you don’t get it like this can be
cancer this can be serious we got to
send you out on the Emory University to
get some further testing done to see if
this is cancer they sent them down to
Emory University
get him testing done he got diagnosed
with cancer lymphoma could no longer
play in the NFL had to start going
through chemo going through chemo
started losing his hair started losing
this muscle mass but the thing that
intrigued me about him and the reason
that I told people when they would say
ain’t are you worried about
EP I said I’m not worried about him at
all because I know he’d be the person
and not he’d be the athlete and so by
knowing he’d be the person I knew the
character that he possessed this is the
same guy watch leave chemotherapy he
would leave chemo and go jump out on the
track and run 400 meters after he left
chemo and he would be crying as he was
running around a track but the tears
wasn’t because he was in so much pain
the tears wasn’t because he wanted to
give up the tears were because he
couldn’t kick it in gear like he used to
but this is the same guy when they
diagnosed him cancer-free and he went
back to the NFL he returned back to the
NFL a pound heavier what is that
and it had nothing to do with the
product but more about the process
because the thing I believe in whatever
you do who you are as a person is way
more important new yours an athlete but
I tell you that story to tell you this
never take life for granted because
sometimes life doesn’t send a warning
shot and if you’re not who you’re
supposed to be at burst he is not gonna
say man I’m gonna let you gather
yourself a number come back our position
is not gonna say man I’m gonna let you
get your stuff together and I’m gonna be
back like I didn’t know my life is gonna
change on September the night I was
playing football I was doing the thing
that I love I was eight games away from
the NFL projected top 30 draft pick now
we’re not I made a tackle and found
myself in the emergency room that night
fighting for my life but my mother had
nothing to worry about they asked my
mother are you worried about your son
she said I’m not worried about him at
all
because I know he’s a survivor what is
that and that leads me into why I keep
this bucket with me you know a lot of
people know I live by this thing called
empty the bucket right and people like
empty the bucket ain’t ain’t got this
crew slogan empty the bucket but they
don’t know what the foundation or what
it really is they don’t know that
accountability behind it they don’t know
the responsibility behind it every day
in my house I got three buckets I got a
bucket when I wake up and I look at my
bedroom it’s a bucket I got a bucket in
my office I got a bucket in my waiting
room at my house and what that bucket
stands for for me that bucket means I
have to give everything I got to
everything I’m involved in and it has
nothing to do with the product but more
about my personal standard of excellence
never changes and it doesn’t depends on
the circumstances it doesn’t depend on a
situation and it never depends on a
person I have a personal standard of
excellence for my life I just believe I
deserve my I deserve to give my wife the
best version of me I just believe I
deserve to give my kids the best version
of me I just believe the people that I’m
a service to on this earth I deserve to
give them the best version of me and so
I take a personal level of pride and
everything that I do because all those
ones my life behind the game of football
and God placed Mona’s path and so now
it’s not even about me meaning would you
do what you do if the outcome wasn’t
attached to what you were doing that’s
why I don’t even get caught up with
people that do things for money I’m not
impressed with how much money you make
you know the true level of wealth you
know the true measure of wealth as if
they took all your money what would you
be worth dead I’m gonna say it again so
you could catch you this to everybody
that’s chasing that green bag everybody
I want that dollar if you got it
and they stripped you of it all what
would you still be worth and if you
don’t have the things that the process
creates you won’t keep it anyway you see
my mother had me when she was fifteen
years old right over on the east side of
Atlanta we came up in his neighborhood
by the name of Kirkwood drugged ill on
every corner gang members in the
neighborhood two-bedroom home 14 people
used to sleep on the floor got the
opportunity to sleep in the bed one time
out of the week it was six of us in the
bed three at the foot three in the head
and I came up with this dream pretty
quick I said man I want to go to the NFL
because I had eight uncles in that house
all eight of which are still going in
and out of prison my uncle just got
sentenced to 40 years in prison a couple
of weeks ago he just got done doing
eight years in prison got out for two
years to two years he was out got locked
up five more times cops get ran in our
house or a regular there so pretty quick
I said man I want to go to the NFL so I
went to my big cousin tomorrow night
that’s a man listen I want to go to the
NFL until we got to work for this thing
so the thing we’re gonna do every night
gonna be patient gonna engage in
consistent action every night we’re
gonna race light pole or light pole no
shoes so every night we would get out on
the street races like for the light for
one night a coach came down the street
he signed me and my cousins up for
organized sports right first time been
an organized force we get in organized
sports the thing was after practice
everybody would leave to go home now I
always had to sit on the bench and wait
on my mother because she worked that way
and so when my mother would show up in
the park you’ll be about 10 o’clock
10:30 at night so I’m sitting there when
my mother will pull up she drove up old
big Regal hubcaps off the car seats torn
up the car was all beat up and she would
pull up in the park 10:30 at night I
would jump off the bench I would sprint
over to my mother I would say mom if you
don’t mind can you please sit back in
your car and tell her in your car like I
have to do some extra drills I have to
go to the NFL’s you and never have to
work another day in your life
my mother was time and every night my
mother would sit back in that corner was
car like we hit that film and he had a
seven-year-old kid throw her back
telling girls running sprints running
last chasing his dream to go to the NFL
but just beyond those car lights I could
always connect with my mother’s eyes
what made me dig a little bit deeper it
made me push myself a little bit further
they made me work a little bit harder it
created a certain level of sweat equity
and what I was doing it created a
certain level of pride and what I was
doing you know why people quit people
don’t have pride in what they do you
know what people stop they’re selfish
and it’s just about them when you have a
bigger purpose to why you’re doing what
you’re doing and you want to honor the
sacrifices that others have made for you
it’s nothing for you to keep going when
you hear that versity and I’ll never
forget one night I came off the field I
went over to my mother I said can you
please introduce me to my father I need
the meter it’s a certain dialogue that I
need to have with him that I can have
sweeping on the floor my cousins with
roaches and rats I need to talk to my
father God’s name is not on my birth
certificate I need to talk to her can
you set that up she set it up first
encounter with the guys shook his head I
say hey man how you doing
say hey little man I heard you could
play ball I said I heard you can too but
here’s what I need you to do for I said
I don’t need any money I don’t need any
clothes the only thing I need you to do
for me is pick me up every Friday night
walk me out every Saturday morning you
could take me back home after that can
you do that he said yeah I got you first
Saturday morning he woke me up at 4:30
in the morning he said no man we running
two miles to this fire station running
two miles back home I said cool let’s do
it every other Saturday morning after
that wake up 4:30 run two miles there
two miles back one Saturday I said man
i’ma beat him out I beat him out to the
line I’m standing here my father came
dragging out of the house he was walking
really slow and so my father came out
and he walked right by and I looked up
and he walked right by me and he looked
up at me and he said son I said yes sir
he said I want you to pull that other
person outside of you today
and in my mind I’m thinking this it’s
not another personality what are you
talking about
it’s 4:30 it’s dark he kept walking he
looked up again he said son I said yes
sir
he said I want you to pull that other
person outside you today yes sir
but in my mind at this point him said
man he’s trying to talk his way out is
there so the third time he said son I
step back after listen pops
no disrespect you have a job I get it
you may be tired I said so you can go
back to the house you can go to sleep
there’s no hard feelings but you can’t
stop me from running to this fire
station I’m running whether you go or
not he said son the thing I’m trying to
get you to understand is this think
sudden there was another person inside
of you son
the thing I’m trying to get you to
understand it’s this ain’t no matter how
hard you work there is somebody inside
of you that works even harder yes sir no
matter how dedicated you are there were
somebody inside you that’s more
dedicated son no matter how committed
you are there is somebody inside of you
that’s more committed but the thing I
want you to understand there will come a
point in time where you were in a piece
of that versity that’s a lot toughening
your son and every day you get up you
have to have a greater purpose for why
you do what you do and then get up and
keep going and executing whatever you do
son that is what I’m trying to get you
to understand it’s a lot bigger than
running to the fire station I’m trying
to get you to push yourself to a point
that you have never been to before
because when you get to that point
you’re going to propel to another
dimension of your life not another level
another dimension of your life and
immediately I got and it had nothing to
do with me immediately I got it because
I saw on down the line of what it could
produce in my life immediately I got it
it wasn’t because I wanted to be fast
I got what the product could produce I
got what getting up at 4:30 in the
morning could produce and me and my
family’s life and so forth the Crim high
school running and lowest performing
public schools in the whole state of
Georgia dropout rate higher than the
graduation rate people didn’t go to
college I went to cram my first day I
walked through the doors a matter of
tactic cop said what’s your plan little
man I said my plan is to go d1 he said
now you’ll probably end up in cell block
b1 I said no you got the wrong guy
he said now you’ll probably end up in
cellblock D I said no you got the wrong
guy
after my freshman year my mother and
father both came to me and it’s a Enki
we transferring you from this place you
got a scholarship I took a high school
they said all you have to do is collect
on your next three years they guarantee
you a scholarship to Georgia
I said please leave me at one of the
lowest performing public schools in the
whole state of Georgia
they said son you have a scholarship all
you have to do is go and play your next
three years you will be the first one in
our family to go to college
I said please leave me at Krim high
school I can get a scholarship from this
place son nobody goes to college from me
please let me stay here I can make it
from this place they transfer me anyway
first football game tore the ligaments
in my ankle
out for the season ended up in a
wheelchair weight back to my parents
will you please transfer me back to one
of the lowest performing public schools
in the whole state of Georgia my pastor
said Inc you really want to go there he
said son it’s embarrassing you go back
then you play against an opposing team
you all don’t even have what about it
you drink out there posing team’s water
hole you want to go back then he said
son if I wants to go to everybody in
your family right now I asked him for 50
or 100 dollars nobody could give it to
me you really want to go back there you
have a guaranteed scholarship and you’re
begging to go back to a place where the
dropout rate is higher than the
graduation rate why do you want to go
back there
I said please transfer me back there I
need to go back there
[Music]
they transfer me back first football
game my junior year break my collarbone
out for the season
and so the summer heading into my senior
year now everybody is looking at me like
you dumped you went back to that place
you had a guaranteed scholarship you got
hurt years back to back and now no
college scouts are coming to see you and
so the summer going into my senior year
we got blessed with a new coach he came
to me I was done with football Sandman
please come and work out for me just do
one work out for me I said okay coach
I’ll come out I worked out I ran a
40-yard dash I did some cone drills he
came up to me after the workout he said
son what college do you want to go to I
said man I just want to go d1 he said no
you’re not hearing myself what college
do you want to go to I said man I just
want to go d1 he said after the first
couple of games we’re put together a
tape we’ll see what happens after the
first two games I had nine touchdowns
and all she wrote from there but after
that season there was still two problems
I wasn’t qualified to get into college
and I hadn’t passed my Georgia high
school graduation and so now Scouts
would come in and they would say man
you’re cute you’re fast you’re quick
you’re tough you can play football but
son we’re not talking about college
we’re talking about you graduating high
school and I’m the type of person if I
tell you I’m gonna do something I’m
gonna do I might not know at that moment
how I’m gonna get it done but if I tell
you I’m gonna do something I’ll find a
way to get it done I have that much
faith in what I’m doing I have that much
faith in what I do that I’ll get it done
in every college scout will say no ink
it doesn’t work that way we can’t offer
your scholarship I said please offer me
a scholarship and I’ll never forget the
day the University of Tennessee came in
and a coach took a chance on me he sat
down when he said son I want to offer
you a full scholarship to the University
of Tennessee and was so crazy I
responded and I told him I’m coming
and he laughed he said son I don’t even
think you understand how the whole
process works I said no I don’t think
you understand I said you talking to a
kid that comes from a two-bedroom 114
people you’re talking to a kid that
every morning when I caught the bus I
would race to be the first one at the
bus stop now I’ll be standing there
shaking my bookbag about jack is out to
make sure there were no roaches and rats
so when I tell you I’m coming
I am coming you don’t even have to waste
University’s money I don’t have to see
the campus I don’t have to see the city
you offer me a scholarship I’m coming
he said yeah ain’t but I still want you
to take an official visit I agreed I
went up on a Friday night I’ll never
forget they took me the Calhoun’s on the
river it’s a restaurant in Knoxville
Tennessee we come out we got a host
right and sort of job of a hostess will
show you a great time on campus take you
to parties make you fall in love with
the place and so I come out with my
motion you said ain’t there’s a sorority
party there’s a barbecue and there’s a
basketball game what’s one would you
like to go to I said man if you don’t
mind can you take me to my hotel you
said what you said man I don’t know if
you’ve ever been to a college sorority
party he said well why they ain’t pretty
real
I said man can you take me to my hotel
we pull up to the hotel I’m getting out
of the car he said wait are you sick
I said no I’m not sick you see what my
hosting understand that night at the
Marriott those are my first time
standing the bed by myself think I cared
about a sorority party think I cared
about her barbecue or basketball game I
wound up in that room I call my boys
back and Cutwater said man y’all ain’t
gonna believe it I said man y’all boys
gotta go to college and said ain’t we
Mike and said I said get your own team
side better but the next day when I saw
that coach I thanked them and I still do
this until this day when I see him I
said thank you not only for changing my
life but changing the whole generations
like that you don’t even know you touch
the same bike trail I used to walk home
with my wife on a bike remember my wife
and that ever since we were in the fifth
grade I just walk home on a bike trail
on my wife the same bike trail that me
and my wife used to walk home on and
this is Kirkwood today knock her foot
back when we grew up the same biter I
wish to walk home on a kid came home
from the Army one day he got on that
same bike trail with his wife they’re
walking down a bike trail a
fourteen-year-old walks up to a 20 year
old walks up to her the 2000 looked at
the 14-yard says children Portillo put a
gun to her head blew his brains out but
no apparent reason so this was the
environment that I was talking about her
so when I got back to Kirkwood I went to
everybody that told me I wouldn’t make
it I went to that cop in that lunch room
and I said I told you you had the wrong
guy so now everybody’s response was
eight why did you fight so hard to come
back to Clem high school you had a
guaranteed scholarship across town and
one of the top program why did you fight
that come back with her dropped by wait
beside in the graduation rate son why
did you fight to come back to this place
and I say you guys are missing a boat I
had a chance to ride an airplane much
when I was in high school it was to an
all-star football game
and I’ll never forget I went in the
bathroom on that airplane and as I was
washing my hands I was going to leave
and it was a sign on the wall that sign
said it’s common courtesy to the person
that’s coming behind you can you wipe
your sink I leave the better than you
found it well it’s common courtesy to
the generation I was coming to cram high
school behind me I was about to leave
that place better than that pound
and the thing that people didn’t
understand the reason I had that
decision and choice to make
it wasn’t about inky johnson every night
I slept when I blow it those roaches and
rats had three little cousins that slept
on that same floors and you know what
happened when I went to college you know
what all three of them I was the first
one in my family to go to college know
what all three of my little cousins dead
man I don’t have to sell dope I don’t
have to join a gang I don’t have to end
up in prison I don’t have to end up dead
all three of you gotta fall for the same
floor went to college even graduated now
they served in the army that is why I
went back to Krim high school had
nothing to do with me if every decision
and choice you make is just about you at
a certain point you gonna hit something
that’s a lot tougher than you and it’s
going to make you quit because you don’t
have a driving force for why you do what
you do but when I got up to the
University of Tennessee it was simple
and was simple for me to give everything
I had and they wear an article about me
the first article that ever got written
about me and said mr. no star has made
it to the University of Tennessee
basically saying mister nobody has made
it to the University of Tennessee how
did this guy get here
I was 135 pounds soaking wet
coming from Crim high school a place
where the dropout rate is higher than
graduation with having for a place where
people didn’t go to college
now I never forget the casual reading
the article they were laughing and they
gave it to me they said Inc have you
seen this I said no I ain’t seen let me
just let me see it and I held it up in
front of him I said mister no star the
kid that came from my school mr. no star
the kid I was born to his mother at 15
mr. no star the kid that came from that
two back room 14 people mr. no star the
kid that slept on the floor mr. no star
the kid that Miss Mills and never made
one excuse and I took it and I folded it
up now put it in my back pocket my
freshman year I played special routines
my son for season I broke the star
lineup had a really strong sophomore
season that summer heading into my
junior year I still remember the day
where I was sitting in our film room I
was watching film on the California
bears my defensive backs coach Larry
Slade came in the room he said inky I
got some good news for you
I dropped the click I said what is it he
said man you projected top 30 Drive
fixer he said all you have to do is play
the next 10 football games your
automatic low time millionaire I went
out of the room I called my mother my
grandmother on the three-way I said
after this season there will be no more
struggle
I said we would never miss another meal
I said we would never experience another
Christmas where we had to stand on the
side of the curve and just be brief now
hunger the first football game I went
out and played great got an interception
check out down second game we’re playing
against air force got late in the game
fourth quarter God dropped back he threw
the ball to a receiver coming down my
sideline me and a guy we went head-on as
soon as I hit the guy felt as if every
breath of my body left body went
completely left fell to the ground I
blacked out never happened to me my eyes
open I’ll never forget my teammates ran
over they said ain’t get up let’s go I
said I can’t I can’t move he said what
do you mean you can’t move it you’re our
lockdown corner man we need you let’s go
I said I know ma’am at this time I can’t
move the shock stayed in my body and
I’ll never forget as I was lying there I
flipped my head to the left and the
doctors and the trainer’s were running
onto the building I flipped my head up
to the sky said God says surely nothing
is happening this moment that can alter
my life I flipped my head back over to
the left they were bringing the spine
board out it’s put me up on the spine
board and said God they have to do that
right I said that’s precautionary
measure
the doctor was rolling me off the field
we get to mid Phil I said doctor you
left my right arm up because I couldn’t
fill it that’s stuck me with all type of
needles inky can you feel this I
couldn’t believe he said sure and he
lifted my right arm up and I raised my
left hand I pumped it to the supporters
I don’t like using the word fans I think
it’s arrogant turn who by the calling
person of mani-pedis inflator supporter
I said doc you can let my arm down as he
was letting my arm down I’ll never
forget I looked in his eyes I said oh
yeah I said I’ll be back never thinking
that would be the last football game and
I would ever play in my life they rolled
me to the ambulance my father was
waiting there he was had this look of
concern on his face I said pops I got
him right he said yes sir but I think
you got I think you got the worst part
of this with me
they got me over to the hospital took me
back they ran cat-scans they brought me
back into my room and all during the 15
second timeframe
I’ll never forget I was lying in my bed
and I flipped my head back in that
kool-aid with my father and he went to
take his step in and he looked at me he
said I can’t do it and he walked out my
mother she came in she happy-go-lucky
she smiling
she kissed me on my hand she said a
friend is she saying everything is gonna
be okay and she walked down and as soon
as she stepped outside of the room the
doctor came running in from the opposite
side he said get in here we gotta rush
this guy back to emergency surgery he’s
about to die
what he said son you got busted up to
play an artery in your chest you’re
bleeding internally we have to rush you
back take the main vein out of your left
leg plug it into your chest in order to
save your life when I open my eyes from
recovery the same doctors over me said
son has some good news and some bad news
for you I said you got some bad news for
me after telling my buckled I’m still
alive how bad can it get I’m still here
he said the good news is we saved your
life I said thank you sir
he said the bad news is ain’t gonna have
nerve damage and your right shoulder I
said okay cool
he said we got to sing you up to the
Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota I
said okay cool he said but son it’s a
strong possibility that you probably can
never play the game of football again in
your life I said no way
I said no disrespect to you doc but I’ve
been working for this ever since I was
seven years old I said no disrespect to
you doc but you wasn’t in the park with
me and my mother now was seven years old
and she was sitting in that Buick Regal
she got done working at Wendy’s
no disrespect you doc but you didn’t
come up in at to level 114 people
sleeping on the floor no disrespect to
you doc but you don’t miss those meals
and stay focused and never made an
excuse I never cheated I never cheated
like my conscience still until his day
won’t let me like I can’t cheat I can’t
look myself in the mirror and say if you
did a good job knowing that I cheat I
can’t cheat my conscience won’t let me
cheat and I’ll never forget I said man
no way my career could be over I worked
you are well I respected the game I gave
it everything that I had there’s no way
that my career can be over I said send
me up to the Mayo Clinic surely there
sell like a play of it and send me up to
the Mayo Clinic the final meeting
happened it was me my mother my father
in the room and I’ll never forget it an
interview prior to that meeting a
reporter came out and he said inky
johnson is growing about this situation
as if he knows something that everybody
else doesn’t and we walked into this
meeting and the doctors came in and said
Inc here’s the deal let’s get right down
to it said son you have torn all the
nerves in your brachial plexus and say
you break your plexus or the nerve roots
that go through your spine that controls
your arm in your hand you have torn them
at all levels they cannot be replug it
says some we hate to tell you but your
arm and we’ll never be the same again
your hand there will never be the same
again your shoulder it would never be
the same again some we hate to tell you
but you can never play the game of
football again as a matter of fact we
understand prior to college you averaged
30 points per game as a point guard son
you can never play the game of
basketball again as a matter of fact we
understand prior to college you played
travel league baseball your whole life
plays to the fill and batted cleanup son
you can never play the game of baseball
again as a matter of fact prior to
college son we understood you ran track
you’re in 100 to 200 to 4 by 1 and the
400 your arm would never be in a
condition for you to run track again
what do you do when all your options get
taken away and stir and then they
perceive you to say here your surgery
options think we can take a monster out
of the back of your left leg plug it
into your right arm but there’s a
possibility that you
left with the weak left leg and we tried
on the rest of your life or we could
take a nerve out of your left or reroute
it up to your chest down into your right
arm but there’s a possibility that
you’ll be left with two weak arms the
rest of your life oh we can take a nerve
out of your left rib reroute it up to
your chest down into your right arm but
there’s a possibility that you’ll be
left with a breathing problem and then
we cried on the rest of your life by the
way tell us what you want to do in the
morning I was 20 years old and the next
morning I walked into the doctor’s
office they said some what option did
you choose
I said no disrespect to the dark cutting
where you got to cut me I know come out
of the situational thing they said cut
with the cute talk with some of the best
doctors in the world and with the reason
that you came up here and so you have to
choose an option so tell us what option
are you choosing and where do you want
us to cut you I said no disrespect to
you doc cut me where you got to cut me I
know I will come out of this situation
okay and they proceeded to cut me six
times down my left eye to cut me one
time across my left shoulder one time
across my right shoulder they cut me on
my right packing my right rib it cut me
from the bottom of my armpit all the way
down to the bottom of my hand they put
over 350 staples in my body they
banished me from my neck down to my
knees and I still was in class that next
week
when they gave me an opportunity to go
home and you know I went to class you
know why I was able to go in that
doctor’s office and say cut me where you
got to cut me I know we’ll come out of
this situation okay because I made up in
my mind before I even stepped into the
doctor’s office that no matter what the
outcome was
I wasn’t quitting I wasn’t giving up I
wasn’t stopping that’s not my pedigree
that’s not who I am and so I’m not even
gonna entertain it and I think the
quicker you eliminate something the
quicker that you make up in your mind
you’re gonna get to the outcome it’s
just like the Navy SEALs it’s just like
the sails that’s why the sails are so
bad
they make up in their mind before the
mission that they’re going to complete
the mission they make up in their mother
before they set out on a mission we are
going to complete the mission meaning if
it does not kill me if I get an arm
injury along the way a leg injury along
the way feet injury along the way if you
do not kill me you will not stop my
drive no petty adversity will not stop
me I have to complete every mission that
I set out on what are the greatest
pieces of advice that my mother gave me
was this so whenever you start you make
sure you finish and the problem with the
world today people get involved with
things and if they don’t like a certain
person if they don’t like the process if
it’s not what they thought it was they
quit and what they don’t understand
about quitting quitting me hump becomes
a habit that doesn’t just affect you
later on in life when you get a wife and
you get some kids or you get a family
it’s going to come back to haunt you and
then will one day affect this that is
why I tell you the process it’s more
important in the product it’s not even
about the outcome for me it’s about can
you take pride in what you do as an
individual and every night when you look
in the mirror knowing that you gave
everything you add to it and no money
doesn’t have to be attached to it it’s
about learning to work from the inside
out in life and not from the outside in
when you work from the inside out of
life you understand your wife you
understand your how and you understand
your what when you work from the outside
in you understand your what you
understand your how and you understand
your wife people that work from the
inside out Martin Luther King why I’m
gonna do this how I’m gonna do this what
I’m gonna do
people that work from the inside out
Apple change the world people that work
from the inside out
Zuckerberg people that work from the
inside out MJ
people that work from the outside and
worry about the outcome first never make
it because they get to a certain point
and life is going to test that will
every time life is going to see how bad
you want what you say you would and so
if it’s never a level of commitment to
it and what commitment is commitment
people think commitment is just saying
yes I’ll do it because the environment
is right and it’s cute
people get in certain environments man
are you gonna do it do you feel like
doing it do you think it’s right yeah
man let’s do it it’s cool
let’s do it let’s do it yeah but what
commitment is commitment is staying true
to what you said you were going to do
long after the move that you have said
it in has left meaning when you don’t
feel like getting up in the morning you
get your butt up in the morning you do
what you said you were going to do
anyway meaning when you don’t feel like
sacrificing you get your butt up and you
sacrifice anyway meaning when you don’t
feel like being dedicated to it you stay
you’re dedicated anyway because you
understand what the process we’re going
to produce later on in your life it’s
not about the outcome eliminate the
outcome and we have to get to the point
where we’re willing to impose our will
on certain things impose your will on it
it’s just as if you were facing an
opponent imposed you we don’t want it
life will give into you if it’s not if
it knows you’re serious about whatever
it is that you’re trying to do life will
give into you when I went back to school
I had to learn how to write all over
again with my left hand I’ve been right
hand down there my whole life you think
the teacher came up to me and said Inc I
know you got a paralyzed right home and
you don’t know how to write again we’re
gonna give you a little leverage we’re
gonna let you take your time on these
thirty page papers no Enki here’s your
30 page paper I need it by tomorrow now
have some great friends I don’t have one
friend that was about to knock out a
30-page paper for I had to sit my butt
in disability services and write that
paper by myself
I had to learn how to tie my shoe all
over there I had to go up to people and
say man can you help my roommates can
you help bathe me back my life totally
changed and they gave me an opportunity
to stop and most people when you give
them an opportunity to stop while
they’re chasing something they take
advantage of it because they feel as if
man why did this have to happen to me
I felt as if why not me this is the
perfect opportunity to use this to be a
blessing in somebody else and you know
what it’s not even about me to be
truthful it’s not even about me now it’s
about repaying the people that invested
in me and saw something in me when I
couldn’t see it in myself now this is
the perfect time to give them a return
on their investment that’s why we’re
gonna get my master’s degree at a
certain point in life it can’t just be
about you when do we get to the point
where we start honoring the sacrifices
that others have made for us when do we
get to the point where we say mom I
really appreciate those sacrifices you
made for me so I’m not quitting as a
result of it I guarantee you I’m coming
out of Michigan State with a degree I
guarantee it
and it doesn’t matter the outcome it
doesn’t matter what I go through I
guarantee you I went to my mother and I
told her I will never embarrass you I
will never quit because you’re sat in
the park for me when I was 7 years old
so it’s not even about me having a
paralyzed right on it’s not even that
deep the reason I wake up and live my
life the way that I do because I
understand somebody is looking to me for
my passion somebody is looking at me for
my zeal somebody is looking at me for my
energy and somebody is looking at me
every day to keep going just like
somebody is depending on each of you
it’s not about you their blessings don’t
come to you blessings flow through you
and the moment that you understand that
you will realize your existence it’s not
just about you it’s a lot of people that
paid the way for you to be in a position
that you’re in utter that have a certain
level of pride in what you do take pride
in what you do if your last name is
doing something you should operate a
certain way you shouldn’t just do it
just to do it I don’t understand how
people do that how can people get up and
just go through the flow in life how do
people do that
like I can’t do that when I look at my
son I can’t say son I just got up and I
flow through life today and he looked
back at me like that you just float no I
can’t do that I can’t tell my wife
maybe I just float through life today
without look at my wife I tell it no
matter what happens in our life no
matter what we go through you’re gonna
be straight you’re gonna be straight
you’re gonna be straight you’ll never
have to worry about a thing my kids will
never see the life that I saw when I was
a kid I’m promising that maybe they’re
not seeing it right now and we’ll never
see it because of Who I am
now understand who I am not know i’ma go
get it when it boils down to it I’m a
go-getter and I’m afraid I won’t get it
and nothing will not stop me from
getting a lot of people you have to be
chasing something or it has to be a
reward attached to it or they seek some
type of validation or they need some
type of encouragement a pat on the back
to say man you’re doing a good job when
you tell me I’m doing a good job and not
gonna give everything they’ve got to
everything I’m involved in because
that’s just the way I’m cut I’m gonna
give everything I’ve got to everything
I’m involved in because that’s the way
I’m cut you will have to give me a
reward for that’s what I’m supposed to
do that’s how I supposed to rock and
that’s how I supposed to live my life I
mean nowhere war phone you know cookie
like I’m checking in the half and then
you giving me a cookie cuz I’m checking
in now I’m gonna live my life a certain
type of way because this is the standard
of excellence that I should possess
standard of excellence and everything
that I do it’s not about the outcome is
not about the circumstance it’s not
about the situation it’s not about
people and it’s about me taking pride in
what I do they having a certain standard
of excellence I could have worked at
McDonald’s
I guarantee you I would have been the
best work at McDonald’s there was I
couldn’t wash cars I guarantee you I’d
have been the best car wash it was they
had nothing to do with outcome that’s
just out of cut I’m gonna go get it
because I’m built forward stop needing
the reward for what you do stop seeking
validation for what you do if you set
out and you say you’re gonna do
something do yourself a favor and don’t
lie to yourself because that is the
worst thing that an individual can ever
do you think you lying to your peers
right you think you lying to your mother
you think you learn to your teaching you
think you lying to your coach at the end
of the day when you look in the mirror
you lino you because that’s your life in
ten years from now
nobody can do anything for you that’s
gonna be the light that you created not
anybody else
that you created you make your bed you
got a lay in it and the moment that we
understand that and every day we wake up
we understand that life is a blessing in
life is again and if you were to check
out today how would you want to be
remembered it’s bigger than you we have
to elevate to that point where we keep
that standard we keep that expectation
and everything that we do and understand
that it’s a lot bigger than us us doing
everything that we do is a lot bigger
than us and we want to leave a legacy
and everything that we do people just
want to be good people just want to look
cute doing things look cute I don’t care
about being cool think I care about
being cool Manish people dying out here
it’s young black males getting that life
taken it’s people depending on us out
here in the world think I care about
being cool I would rather somebody look
at me and say man that cat came from the
hood in that lanta his mother had him at
15 he came from a two-bedroom home 14
people he slept on the floor with
roaches and rats
he missed meals at night his arm got
paralyzed while he was in college
chasing the dream he was eight games
away from the NFL he almost lost his
life he was back in class and next week
he went on to get this bachelor’s degree
he would only get his master’s degree
that’s cool that’s what I want to be
like because he never gave up and I
don’t plan on giving up anytime soon
as a matter of fact I’m going record
right now on tape to tell you I’ll never
give up regardless of what may happen
because I’m chasing something different
and it’s not about the product it’s
about the process it’s about me
understanding me going at things a
certain type of way what is gonna build
and instill within me
that’s gonna sustain me for the rest of
my life
[Music]
you
and I was fortunate enough to come out
on the other side of that and so when I
came out on the other side of that not
that I didn’t approach my life in a
certain way before but it just made me
appreciate life that much more and so
every day I’m chasing something
different every day the way I operate
it’s totally different and it’s not
about the product for me as much as it
is about the process and what I mean
about the process the process saved my
life meaning the way I go about my life
and the way I approach certain things it
saved my life
it wasn’t because I was just talented
kid it wasn’t because I was this
privileged kid it wasn’t because of the
way that I approached the process and
the things that I understood about what
the process can produce in my life and
I’m gonna give you an example it’s not
so much about when I played the game of
football it wasn’t about the stats for
me it was more about me taking pride and
coming out down after down quarter after
quarter and dominating my opponent and
basically imposing my will on him to the
point where he looked at his coach and
said man I don’t want to go out and face
him again because I know not only is he
going to beat me he’s going to have fun
with it and he’s going to bring it every
single play every single quarter that’s
a different type of pride but to give
you the back story of how I became the
individual that I am I carried two
things with me everywhere that I go and
I’m talking about everywhere that I go I
carry a football with me and I carry a
bucket and the football the back story
to the football is just I got a good
friend a guy by the name of Eric Barry
he’s in the NFL now he went first round
5th pick to the Kansas City Chiefs one
of the highest-paid safeties in the NFL
really talented kid and so last year I
went up to watch him play and I get up
to about two games a year and I went up
to watch him play and they played
against the Seattle Seahawks he went out
he played lights-out after game he came
over to me they had a football and so he
tossed me the football and I caught the
football and as I was tossing it back to
him I said man what’s that he said Inc
that’s the game ball I said man you keep
that he said no ink I’ll get plenty more
of those he said I want you to give that
to your son so I said I appreciate it
and so I looked at the barn owner it had
to score 20 20 for Kansas City Chiefs
have been legendary only and they had
the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 the next
week they went out to play against the
Oakland Raiders that got late in the
game my guy he went up he filled the
Gaffney
running back and at the point of contact
when he hit the guy I knew something
wasn’t right I didn’t know what it was
but I knew something wasn’t right and so
he came he was jogging off the field he
got over to the sideline
they started touching filling around the
shoulder area the next morning he called
me said big bro did you see the game I
said yeah I saw the game but what I did
notice you didn’t finish the game what
happened
he said yeah because when I hit that
running back it felt as if I knocked
something loose in my shoulder and I got
over to the sideline they started
touching and filling they come find
anything so they’re taking me to the
hospital in Kansas City I said call me
after you come from the hospital he
called me up he came from the hospital I
said what did they say he said man ain’t
they told me they found a mass in my
chest the size of a softball I said what
did you say he said man I asked him can
i still play Sunday Beach right and he
said the doctors responded by saying no
son you don’t get it like this can be
cancer this can be serious we got to
send you out on the Emory University to
get some further testing done to see if
this is cancer they sent them down to
Emory University
get him testing done he got diagnosed
with cancer lymphoma could no longer
play in the NFL had to start going
through chemo going through chemo
started losing his hair started losing
this muscle mass but the thing that
intrigued me about him and the reason
that I told people when they would say
ain’t are you worried about
EP I said I’m not worried about him at
all because I know he’d be the person
and not he’d be the athlete and so by
knowing he’d be the person I knew the
character that he possessed this is the
same guy watch leave chemotherapy he
would leave chemo and go jump out on the
track and run 400 meters after he left
chemo and he would be crying as he was
running around a track but the tears
wasn’t because he was in so much pain
the tears wasn’t because he wanted to
give up the tears were because he
couldn’t kick it in gear like he used to
but this is the same guy when they
diagnosed him cancer-free and he went
back to the NFL he returned back to the
NFL a pound heavier what is that
and it had nothing to do with the
product but more about the process
because the thing I believe in whatever
you do who you are as a person is way
more important new yours an athlete but
I tell you that story to tell you this
never take life for granted because
sometimes life doesn’t send a warning
shot and if you’re not who you’re
supposed to be at burst he is not gonna
say man I’m gonna let you gather
yourself a number come back our position
is not gonna say man I’m gonna let you
get your stuff together and I’m gonna be
back like I didn’t know my life is gonna
change on September the night I was
playing football I was doing the thing
that I love I was eight games away from
the NFL projected top 30 draft pick now
we’re not I made a tackle and found
myself in the emergency room that night
fighting for my life but my mother had
nothing to worry about they asked my
mother are you worried about your son
she said I’m not worried about him at
all
because I know he’s a survivor what is
that and that leads me into why I keep
this bucket with me you know a lot of
people know I live by this thing called
empty the bucket right and people like
empty the bucket ain’t ain’t got this
crew slogan empty the bucket but they
don’t know what the foundation or what
it really is they don’t know that
accountability behind it they don’t know
the responsibility behind it every day
in my house I got three buckets I got a
bucket when I wake up and I look at my
bedroom it’s a bucket I got a bucket in
my office I got a bucket in my waiting
room at my house and what that bucket
stands for for me that bucket means I
have to give everything I got to
everything I’m involved in and it has
nothing to do with the product but more
about my personal standard of excellence
never changes and it doesn’t depends on
the circumstances it doesn’t depend on a
situation and it never depends on a
person I have a personal standard of
excellence for my life I just believe I
deserve my I deserve to give my wife the
best version of me I just believe I
deserve to give my kids the best version
of me I just believe the people that I’m
a service to on this earth I deserve to
give them the best version of me and so
I take a personal level of pride and
everything that I do because all those
ones my life behind the game of football
and God placed Mona’s path and so now
it’s not even about me meaning would you
do what you do if the outcome wasn’t
attached to what you were doing that’s
why I don’t even get caught up with
people that do things for money I’m not
impressed with how much money you make
you know the true level of wealth you
know the true measure of wealth as if
they took all your money what would you
be worth dead I’m gonna say it again so
you could catch you this to everybody
that’s chasing that green bag everybody
I want that dollar if you got it
and they stripped you of it all what
would you still be worth and if you
don’t have the things that the process
creates you won’t keep it anyway you see
my mother had me when she was fifteen
years old right over on the east side of
Atlanta we came up in his neighborhood
by the name of Kirkwood drugged ill on
every corner gang members in the
neighborhood two-bedroom home 14 people
used to sleep on the floor got the
opportunity to sleep in the bed one time
out of the week it was six of us in the
bed three at the foot three in the head
and I came up with this dream pretty
quick I said man I want to go to the NFL
because I had eight uncles in that house
all eight of which are still going in
and out of prison my uncle just got
sentenced to 40 years in prison a couple
of weeks ago he just got done doing
eight years in prison got out for two
years to two years he was out got locked
up five more times cops get ran in our
house or a regular there so pretty quick
I said man I want to go to the NFL so I
went to my big cousin tomorrow night
that’s a man listen I want to go to the
NFL until we got to work for this thing
so the thing we’re gonna do every night
gonna be patient gonna engage in
consistent action every night we’re
gonna race light pole or light pole no
shoes so every night we would get out on
the street races like for the light for
one night a coach came down the street
he signed me and my cousins up for
organized sports right first time been
an organized force we get in organized
sports the thing was after practice
everybody would leave to go home now I
always had to sit on the bench and wait
on my mother because she worked that way
and so when my mother would show up in
the park you’ll be about 10 o’clock
10:30 at night so I’m sitting there when
my mother will pull up she drove up old
big Regal hubcaps off the car seats torn
up the car was all beat up and she would
pull up in the park 10:30 at night I
would jump off the bench I would sprint
over to my mother I would say mom if you
don’t mind can you please sit back in
your car and tell her in your car like I
have to do some extra drills I have to
go to the NFL’s you and never have to
work another day in your life
my mother was time and every night my
mother would sit back in that corner was
car like we hit that film and he had a
seven-year-old kid throw her back
telling girls running sprints running
last chasing his dream to go to the NFL
but just beyond those car lights I could
always connect with my mother’s eyes
what made me dig a little bit deeper it
made me push myself a little bit further
they made me work a little bit harder it
created a certain level of sweat equity
and what I was doing it created a
certain level of pride and what I was
doing you know why people quit people
don’t have pride in what they do you
know what people stop they’re selfish
and it’s just about them when you have a
bigger purpose to why you’re doing what
you’re doing and you want to honor the
sacrifices that others have made for you
it’s nothing for you to keep going when
you hear that versity and I’ll never
forget one night I came off the field I
went over to my mother I said can you
please introduce me to my father I need
the meter it’s a certain dialogue that I
need to have with him that I can have
sweeping on the floor my cousins with
roaches and rats I need to talk to my
father God’s name is not on my birth
certificate I need to talk to her can
you set that up she set it up first
encounter with the guys shook his head I
say hey man how you doing
say hey little man I heard you could
play ball I said I heard you can too but
here’s what I need you to do for I said
I don’t need any money I don’t need any
clothes the only thing I need you to do
for me is pick me up every Friday night
walk me out every Saturday morning you
could take me back home after that can
you do that he said yeah I got you first
Saturday morning he woke me up at 4:30
in the morning he said no man we running
two miles to this fire station running
two miles back home I said cool let’s do
it every other Saturday morning after
that wake up 4:30 run two miles there
two miles back one Saturday I said man
i’ma beat him out I beat him out to the
line I’m standing here my father came
dragging out of the house he was walking
really slow and so my father came out
and he walked right by and I looked up
and he walked right by me and he looked
up at me and he said son I said yes sir
he said I want you to pull that other
person outside of you today
and in my mind I’m thinking this it’s
not another personality what are you
talking about
it’s 4:30 it’s dark he kept walking he
looked up again he said son I said yes
sir
he said I want you to pull that other
person outside you today yes sir
but in my mind at this point him said
man he’s trying to talk his way out is
there so the third time he said son I
step back after listen pops
no disrespect you have a job I get it
you may be tired I said so you can go
back to the house you can go to sleep
there’s no hard feelings but you can’t
stop me from running to this fire
station I’m running whether you go or
not he said son the thing I’m trying to
get you to understand is this think
sudden there was another person inside
of you son
the thing I’m trying to get you to
understand it’s this ain’t no matter how
hard you work there is somebody inside
of you that works even harder yes sir no
matter how dedicated you are there were
somebody inside you that’s more
dedicated son no matter how committed
you are there is somebody inside of you
that’s more committed but the thing I
want you to understand there will come a
point in time where you were in a piece
of that versity that’s a lot toughening
your son and every day you get up you
have to have a greater purpose for why
you do what you do and then get up and
keep going and executing whatever you do
son that is what I’m trying to get you
to understand it’s a lot bigger than
running to the fire station I’m trying
to get you to push yourself to a point
that you have never been to before
because when you get to that point
you’re going to propel to another
dimension of your life not another level
another dimension of your life and
immediately I got and it had nothing to
do with me immediately I got it because
I saw on down the line of what it could
produce in my life immediately I got it
it wasn’t because I wanted to be fast
I got what the product could produce I
got what getting up at 4:30 in the
morning could produce and me and my
family’s life and so forth the Crim high
school running and lowest performing
public schools in the whole state of
Georgia dropout rate higher than the
graduation rate people didn’t go to
college I went to cram my first day I
walked through the doors a matter of
tactic cop said what’s your plan little
man I said my plan is to go d1 he said
now you’ll probably end up in cell block
b1 I said no you got the wrong guy
he said now you’ll probably end up in
cellblock D I said no you got the wrong
guy
after my freshman year my mother and
father both came to me and it’s a Enki
we transferring you from this place you
got a scholarship I took a high school
they said all you have to do is collect
on your next three years they guarantee
you a scholarship to Georgia
I said please leave me at one of the
lowest performing public schools in the
whole state of Georgia
they said son you have a scholarship all
you have to do is go and play your next
three years you will be the first one in
our family to go to college
I said please leave me at Krim high
school I can get a scholarship from this
place son nobody goes to college from me
please let me stay here I can make it
from this place they transfer me anyway
first football game tore the ligaments
in my ankle
out for the season ended up in a
wheelchair weight back to my parents
will you please transfer me back to one
of the lowest performing public schools
in the whole state of Georgia my pastor
said Inc you really want to go there he
said son it’s embarrassing you go back
then you play against an opposing team
you all don’t even have what about it
you drink out there posing team’s water
hole you want to go back then he said
son if I wants to go to everybody in
your family right now I asked him for 50
or 100 dollars nobody could give it to
me you really want to go back there you
have a guaranteed scholarship and you’re
begging to go back to a place where the
dropout rate is higher than the
graduation rate why do you want to go
back there
I said please transfer me back there I
need to go back there
[Music]
they transfer me back first football
game my junior year break my collarbone
out for the season
and so the summer heading into my senior
year now everybody is looking at me like
you dumped you went back to that place
you had a guaranteed scholarship you got
hurt years back to back and now no
college scouts are coming to see you and
so the summer going into my senior year
we got blessed with a new coach he came
to me I was done with football Sandman
please come and work out for me just do
one work out for me I said okay coach
I’ll come out I worked out I ran a
40-yard dash I did some cone drills he
came up to me after the workout he said
son what college do you want to go to I
said man I just want to go d1 he said no
you’re not hearing myself what college
do you want to go to I said man I just
want to go d1 he said after the first
couple of games we’re put together a
tape we’ll see what happens after the
first two games I had nine touchdowns
and all she wrote from there but after
that season there was still two problems
I wasn’t qualified to get into college
and I hadn’t passed my Georgia high
school graduation and so now Scouts
would come in and they would say man
you’re cute you’re fast you’re quick
you’re tough you can play football but
son we’re not talking about college
we’re talking about you graduating high
school and I’m the type of person if I
tell you I’m gonna do something I’m
gonna do I might not know at that moment
how I’m gonna get it done but if I tell
you I’m gonna do something I’ll find a
way to get it done I have that much
faith in what I’m doing I have that much
faith in what I do that I’ll get it done
in every college scout will say no ink
it doesn’t work that way we can’t offer
your scholarship I said please offer me
a scholarship and I’ll never forget the
day the University of Tennessee came in
and a coach took a chance on me he sat
down when he said son I want to offer
you a full scholarship to the University
of Tennessee and was so crazy I
responded and I told him I’m coming
and he laughed he said son I don’t even
think you understand how the whole
process works I said no I don’t think
you understand I said you talking to a
kid that comes from a two-bedroom 114
people you’re talking to a kid that
every morning when I caught the bus I
would race to be the first one at the
bus stop now I’ll be standing there
shaking my bookbag about jack is out to
make sure there were no roaches and rats
so when I tell you I’m coming
I am coming you don’t even have to waste
University’s money I don’t have to see
the campus I don’t have to see the city
you offer me a scholarship I’m coming
he said yeah ain’t but I still want you
to take an official visit I agreed I
went up on a Friday night I’ll never
forget they took me the Calhoun’s on the
river it’s a restaurant in Knoxville
Tennessee we come out we got a host
right and sort of job of a hostess will
show you a great time on campus take you
to parties make you fall in love with
the place and so I come out with my
motion you said ain’t there’s a sorority
party there’s a barbecue and there’s a
basketball game what’s one would you
like to go to I said man if you don’t
mind can you take me to my hotel you
said what you said man I don’t know if
you’ve ever been to a college sorority
party he said well why they ain’t pretty
real
I said man can you take me to my hotel
we pull up to the hotel I’m getting out
of the car he said wait are you sick
I said no I’m not sick you see what my
hosting understand that night at the
Marriott those are my first time
standing the bed by myself think I cared
about a sorority party think I cared
about her barbecue or basketball game I
wound up in that room I call my boys
back and Cutwater said man y’all ain’t
gonna believe it I said man y’all boys
gotta go to college and said ain’t we
Mike and said I said get your own team
side better but the next day when I saw
that coach I thanked them and I still do
this until this day when I see him I
said thank you not only for changing my
life but changing the whole generations
like that you don’t even know you touch
the same bike trail I used to walk home
with my wife on a bike remember my wife
and that ever since we were in the fifth
grade I just walk home on a bike trail
on my wife the same bike trail that me
and my wife used to walk home on and
this is Kirkwood today knock her foot
back when we grew up the same biter I
wish to walk home on a kid came home
from the Army one day he got on that
same bike trail with his wife they’re
walking down a bike trail a
fourteen-year-old walks up to a 20 year
old walks up to her the 2000 looked at
the 14-yard says children Portillo put a
gun to her head blew his brains out but
no apparent reason so this was the
environment that I was talking about her
so when I got back to Kirkwood I went to
everybody that told me I wouldn’t make
it I went to that cop in that lunch room
and I said I told you you had the wrong
guy so now everybody’s response was
eight why did you fight so hard to come
back to Clem high school you had a
guaranteed scholarship across town and
one of the top program why did you fight
that come back with her dropped by wait
beside in the graduation rate son why
did you fight to come back to this place
and I say you guys are missing a boat I
had a chance to ride an airplane much
when I was in high school it was to an
all-star football game
and I’ll never forget I went in the
bathroom on that airplane and as I was
washing my hands I was going to leave
and it was a sign on the wall that sign
said it’s common courtesy to the person
that’s coming behind you can you wipe
your sink I leave the better than you
found it well it’s common courtesy to
the generation I was coming to cram high
school behind me I was about to leave
that place better than that pound
and the thing that people didn’t
understand the reason I had that
decision and choice to make
it wasn’t about inky johnson every night
I slept when I blow it those roaches and
rats had three little cousins that slept
on that same floors and you know what
happened when I went to college you know
what all three of them I was the first
one in my family to go to college know
what all three of my little cousins dead
man I don’t have to sell dope I don’t
have to join a gang I don’t have to end
up in prison I don’t have to end up dead
all three of you gotta fall for the same
floor went to college even graduated now
they served in the army that is why I
went back to Krim high school had
nothing to do with me if every decision
and choice you make is just about you at
a certain point you gonna hit something
that’s a lot tougher than you and it’s
going to make you quit because you don’t
have a driving force for why you do what
you do but when I got up to the
University of Tennessee it was simple
and was simple for me to give everything
I had and they wear an article about me
the first article that ever got written
about me and said mr. no star has made
it to the University of Tennessee
basically saying mister nobody has made
it to the University of Tennessee how
did this guy get here
I was 135 pounds soaking wet
coming from Crim high school a place
where the dropout rate is higher than
graduation with having for a place where
people didn’t go to college
now I never forget the casual reading
the article they were laughing and they
gave it to me they said Inc have you
seen this I said no I ain’t seen let me
just let me see it and I held it up in
front of him I said mister no star the
kid that came from my school mr. no star
the kid I was born to his mother at 15
mr. no star the kid that came from that
two back room 14 people mr. no star the
kid that slept on the floor mr. no star
the kid that Miss Mills and never made
one excuse and I took it and I folded it
up now put it in my back pocket my
freshman year I played special routines
my son for season I broke the star
lineup had a really strong sophomore
season that summer heading into my
junior year I still remember the day
where I was sitting in our film room I
was watching film on the California
bears my defensive backs coach Larry
Slade came in the room he said inky I
got some good news for you
I dropped the click I said what is it he
said man you projected top 30 Drive
fixer he said all you have to do is play
the next 10 football games your
automatic low time millionaire I went
out of the room I called my mother my
grandmother on the three-way I said
after this season there will be no more
struggle
I said we would never miss another meal
I said we would never experience another
Christmas where we had to stand on the
side of the curve and just be brief now
hunger the first football game I went
out and played great got an interception
check out down second game we’re playing
against air force got late in the game
fourth quarter God dropped back he threw
the ball to a receiver coming down my
sideline me and a guy we went head-on as
soon as I hit the guy felt as if every
breath of my body left body went
completely left fell to the ground I
blacked out never happened to me my eyes
open I’ll never forget my teammates ran
over they said ain’t get up let’s go I
said I can’t I can’t move he said what
do you mean you can’t move it you’re our
lockdown corner man we need you let’s go
I said I know ma’am at this time I can’t
move the shock stayed in my body and
I’ll never forget as I was lying there I
flipped my head to the left and the
doctors and the trainer’s were running
onto the building I flipped my head up
to the sky said God says surely nothing
is happening this moment that can alter
my life I flipped my head back over to
the left they were bringing the spine
board out it’s put me up on the spine
board and said God they have to do that
right I said that’s precautionary
measure
the doctor was rolling me off the field
we get to mid Phil I said doctor you
left my right arm up because I couldn’t
fill it that’s stuck me with all type of
needles inky can you feel this I
couldn’t believe he said sure and he
lifted my right arm up and I raised my
left hand I pumped it to the supporters
I don’t like using the word fans I think
it’s arrogant turn who by the calling
person of mani-pedis inflator supporter
I said doc you can let my arm down as he
was letting my arm down I’ll never
forget I looked in his eyes I said oh
yeah I said I’ll be back never thinking
that would be the last football game and
I would ever play in my life they rolled
me to the ambulance my father was
waiting there he was had this look of
concern on his face I said pops I got
him right he said yes sir but I think
you got I think you got the worst part
of this with me
they got me over to the hospital took me
back they ran cat-scans they brought me
back into my room and all during the 15
second timeframe
I’ll never forget I was lying in my bed
and I flipped my head back in that
kool-aid with my father and he went to
take his step in and he looked at me he
said I can’t do it and he walked out my
mother she came in she happy-go-lucky
she smiling
she kissed me on my hand she said a
friend is she saying everything is gonna
be okay and she walked down and as soon
as she stepped outside of the room the
doctor came running in from the opposite
side he said get in here we gotta rush
this guy back to emergency surgery he’s
about to die
what he said son you got busted up to
play an artery in your chest you’re
bleeding internally we have to rush you
back take the main vein out of your left
leg plug it into your chest in order to
save your life when I open my eyes from
recovery the same doctors over me said
son has some good news and some bad news
for you I said you got some bad news for
me after telling my buckled I’m still
alive how bad can it get I’m still here
he said the good news is we saved your
life I said thank you sir
he said the bad news is ain’t gonna have
nerve damage and your right shoulder I
said okay cool
he said we got to sing you up to the
Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota I
said okay cool he said but son it’s a
strong possibility that you probably can
never play the game of football again in
your life I said no way
I said no disrespect to you doc but I’ve
been working for this ever since I was
seven years old I said no disrespect to
you doc but you wasn’t in the park with
me and my mother now was seven years old
and she was sitting in that Buick Regal
she got done working at Wendy’s
no disrespect you doc but you didn’t
come up in at to level 114 people
sleeping on the floor no disrespect to
you doc but you don’t miss those meals
and stay focused and never made an
excuse I never cheated I never cheated
like my conscience still until his day
won’t let me like I can’t cheat I can’t
look myself in the mirror and say if you
did a good job knowing that I cheat I
can’t cheat my conscience won’t let me
cheat and I’ll never forget I said man
no way my career could be over I worked
you are well I respected the game I gave
it everything that I had there’s no way
that my career can be over I said send
me up to the Mayo Clinic surely there
sell like a play of it and send me up to
the Mayo Clinic the final meeting
happened it was me my mother my father
in the room and I’ll never forget it an
interview prior to that meeting a
reporter came out and he said inky
johnson is growing about this situation
as if he knows something that everybody
else doesn’t and we walked into this
meeting and the doctors came in and said
Inc here’s the deal let’s get right down
to it said son you have torn all the
nerves in your brachial plexus and say
you break your plexus or the nerve roots
that go through your spine that controls
your arm in your hand you have torn them
at all levels they cannot be replug it
says some we hate to tell you but your
arm and we’ll never be the same again
your hand there will never be the same
again your shoulder it would never be
the same again some we hate to tell you
but you can never play the game of
football again as a matter of fact we
understand prior to college you averaged
30 points per game as a point guard son
you can never play the game of
basketball again as a matter of fact we
understand prior to college you played
travel league baseball your whole life
plays to the fill and batted cleanup son
you can never play the game of baseball
again as a matter of fact prior to
college son we understood you ran track
you’re in 100 to 200 to 4 by 1 and the
400 your arm would never be in a
condition for you to run track again
what do you do when all your options get
taken away and stir and then they
perceive you to say here your surgery
options think we can take a monster out
of the back of your left leg plug it
into your right arm but there’s a
possibility that you
left with the weak left leg and we tried
on the rest of your life or we could
take a nerve out of your left or reroute
it up to your chest down into your right
arm but there’s a possibility that
you’ll be left with two weak arms the
rest of your life oh we can take a nerve
out of your left rib reroute it up to
your chest down into your right arm but
there’s a possibility that you’ll be
left with a breathing problem and then
we cried on the rest of your life by the
way tell us what you want to do in the
morning I was 20 years old and the next
morning I walked into the doctor’s
office they said some what option did
you choose
I said no disrespect to the dark cutting
where you got to cut me I know come out
of the situational thing they said cut
with the cute talk with some of the best
doctors in the world and with the reason
that you came up here and so you have to
choose an option so tell us what option
are you choosing and where do you want
us to cut you I said no disrespect to
you doc cut me where you got to cut me I
know I will come out of this situation
okay and they proceeded to cut me six
times down my left eye to cut me one
time across my left shoulder one time
across my right shoulder they cut me on
my right packing my right rib it cut me
from the bottom of my armpit all the way
down to the bottom of my hand they put
over 350 staples in my body they
banished me from my neck down to my
knees and I still was in class that next
week
when they gave me an opportunity to go
home and you know I went to class you
know why I was able to go in that
doctor’s office and say cut me where you
got to cut me I know we’ll come out of
this situation okay because I made up in
my mind before I even stepped into the
doctor’s office that no matter what the
outcome was
I wasn’t quitting I wasn’t giving up I
wasn’t stopping that’s not my pedigree
that’s not who I am and so I’m not even
gonna entertain it and I think the
quicker you eliminate something the
quicker that you make up in your mind
you’re gonna get to the outcome it’s
just like the Navy SEALs it’s just like
the sails that’s why the sails are so
bad
they make up in their mind before the
mission that they’re going to complete
the mission they make up in their mother
before they set out on a mission we are
going to complete the mission meaning if
it does not kill me if I get an arm
injury along the way a leg injury along
the way feet injury along the way if you
do not kill me you will not stop my
drive no petty adversity will not stop
me I have to complete every mission that
I set out on what are the greatest
pieces of advice that my mother gave me
was this so whenever you start you make
sure you finish and the problem with the
world today people get involved with
things and if they don’t like a certain
person if they don’t like the process if
it’s not what they thought it was they
quit and what they don’t understand
about quitting quitting me hump becomes
a habit that doesn’t just affect you
later on in life when you get a wife and
you get some kids or you get a family
it’s going to come back to haunt you and
then will one day affect this that is
why I tell you the process it’s more
important in the product it’s not even
about the outcome for me it’s about can
you take pride in what you do as an
individual and every night when you look
in the mirror knowing that you gave
everything you add to it and no money
doesn’t have to be attached to it it’s
about learning to work from the inside
out in life and not from the outside in
when you work from the inside out of
life you understand your wife you
understand your how and you understand
your what when you work from the outside
in you understand your what you
understand your how and you understand
your wife people that work from the
inside out Martin Luther King why I’m
gonna do this how I’m gonna do this what
I’m gonna do
people that work from the inside out
Apple change the world people that work
from the inside out
Zuckerberg people that work from the
inside out MJ
people that work from the outside and
worry about the outcome first never make
it because they get to a certain point
and life is going to test that will
every time life is going to see how bad
you want what you say you would and so
if it’s never a level of commitment to
it and what commitment is commitment
people think commitment is just saying
yes I’ll do it because the environment
is right and it’s cute
people get in certain environments man
are you gonna do it do you feel like
doing it do you think it’s right yeah
man let’s do it it’s cool
let’s do it let’s do it yeah but what
commitment is commitment is staying true
to what you said you were going to do
long after the move that you have said
it in has left meaning when you don’t
feel like getting up in the morning you
get your butt up in the morning you do
what you said you were going to do
anyway meaning when you don’t feel like
sacrificing you get your butt up and you
sacrifice anyway meaning when you don’t
feel like being dedicated to it you stay
you’re dedicated anyway because you
understand what the process we’re going
to produce later on in your life it’s
not about the outcome eliminate the
outcome and we have to get to the point
where we’re willing to impose our will
on certain things impose your will on it
it’s just as if you were facing an
opponent imposed you we don’t want it
life will give into you if it’s not if
it knows you’re serious about whatever
it is that you’re trying to do life will
give into you when I went back to school
I had to learn how to write all over
again with my left hand I’ve been right
hand down there my whole life you think
the teacher came up to me and said Inc I
know you got a paralyzed right home and
you don’t know how to write again we’re
gonna give you a little leverage we’re
gonna let you take your time on these
thirty page papers no Enki here’s your
30 page paper I need it by tomorrow now
have some great friends I don’t have one
friend that was about to knock out a
30-page paper for I had to sit my butt
in disability services and write that
paper by myself
I had to learn how to tie my shoe all
over there I had to go up to people and
say man can you help my roommates can
you help bathe me back my life totally
changed and they gave me an opportunity
to stop and most people when you give
them an opportunity to stop while
they’re chasing something they take
advantage of it because they feel as if
man why did this have to happen to me
I felt as if why not me this is the
perfect opportunity to use this to be a
blessing in somebody else and you know
what it’s not even about me to be
truthful it’s not even about me now it’s
about repaying the people that invested
in me and saw something in me when I
couldn’t see it in myself now this is
the perfect time to give them a return
on their investment that’s why we’re
gonna get my master’s degree at a
certain point in life it can’t just be
about you when do we get to the point
where we start honoring the sacrifices
that others have made for us when do we
get to the point where we say mom I
really appreciate those sacrifices you
made for me so I’m not quitting as a
result of it I guarantee you I’m coming
out of Michigan State with a degree I
guarantee it
and it doesn’t matter the outcome it
doesn’t matter what I go through I
guarantee you I went to my mother and I
told her I will never embarrass you I
will never quit because you’re sat in
the park for me when I was 7 years old
so it’s not even about me having a
paralyzed right on it’s not even that
deep the reason I wake up and live my
life the way that I do because I
understand somebody is looking to me for
my passion somebody is looking at me for
my zeal somebody is looking at me for my
energy and somebody is looking at me
every day to keep going just like
somebody is depending on each of you
it’s not about you their blessings don’t
come to you blessings flow through you
and the moment that you understand that
you will realize your existence it’s not
just about you it’s a lot of people that
paid the way for you to be in a position
that you’re in utter that have a certain
level of pride in what you do take pride
in what you do if your last name is
doing something you should operate a
certain way you shouldn’t just do it
just to do it I don’t understand how
people do that how can people get up and
just go through the flow in life how do
people do that
like I can’t do that when I look at my
son I can’t say son I just got up and I
flow through life today and he looked
back at me like that you just float no I
can’t do that I can’t tell my wife
maybe I just float through life today
without look at my wife I tell it no
matter what happens in our life no
matter what we go through you’re gonna
be straight you’re gonna be straight
you’re gonna be straight you’ll never
have to worry about a thing my kids will
never see the life that I saw when I was
a kid I’m promising that maybe they’re
not seeing it right now and we’ll never
see it because of Who I am
now understand who I am not know i’ma go
get it when it boils down to it I’m a
go-getter and I’m afraid I won’t get it
and nothing will not stop me from
getting a lot of people you have to be
chasing something or it has to be a
reward attached to it or they seek some
type of validation or they need some
type of encouragement a pat on the back
to say man you’re doing a good job when
you tell me I’m doing a good job and not
gonna give everything they’ve got to
everything I’m involved in because
that’s just the way I’m cut I’m gonna
give everything I’ve got to everything
I’m involved in because that’s the way
I’m cut you will have to give me a
reward for that’s what I’m supposed to
do that’s how I supposed to rock and
that’s how I supposed to live my life I
mean nowhere war phone you know cookie
like I’m checking in the half and then
you giving me a cookie cuz I’m checking
in now I’m gonna live my life a certain
type of way because this is the standard
of excellence that I should possess
standard of excellence and everything
that I do it’s not about the outcome is
not about the circumstance it’s not
about the situation it’s not about
people and it’s about me taking pride in
what I do they having a certain standard
of excellence I could have worked at
McDonald’s
I guarantee you I would have been the
best work at McDonald’s there was I
couldn’t wash cars I guarantee you I’d
have been the best car wash it was they
had nothing to do with outcome that’s
just out of cut I’m gonna go get it
because I’m built forward stop needing
the reward for what you do stop seeking
validation for what you do if you set
out and you say you’re gonna do
something do yourself a favor and don’t
lie to yourself because that is the
worst thing that an individual can ever
do you think you lying to your peers
right you think you lying to your mother
you think you learn to your teaching you
think you lying to your coach at the end
of the day when you look in the mirror
you lino you because that’s your life in
ten years from now
nobody can do anything for you that’s
gonna be the light that you created not
anybody else
that you created you make your bed you
got a lay in it and the moment that we
understand that and every day we wake up
we understand that life is a blessing in
life is again and if you were to check
out today how would you want to be
remembered it’s bigger than you we have
to elevate to that point where we keep
that standard we keep that expectation
and everything that we do and understand
that it’s a lot bigger than us us doing
everything that we do is a lot bigger
than us and we want to leave a legacy
and everything that we do people just
want to be good people just want to look
cute doing things look cute I don’t care
about being cool think I care about
being cool Manish people dying out here
it’s young black males getting that life
taken it’s people depending on us out
here in the world think I care about
being cool I would rather somebody look
at me and say man that cat came from the
hood in that lanta his mother had him at
15 he came from a two-bedroom home 14
people he slept on the floor with
roaches and rats
he missed meals at night his arm got
paralyzed while he was in college
chasing the dream he was eight games
away from the NFL he almost lost his
life he was back in class and next week
he went on to get this bachelor’s degree
he would only get his master’s degree
that’s cool that’s what I want to be
like because he never gave up and I
don’t plan on giving up anytime soon
as a matter of fact I’m going record
right now on tape to tell you I’ll never
give up regardless of what may happen
because I’m chasing something different
and it’s not about the product it’s
about the process it’s about me
understanding me going at things a
certain type of way what is gonna build
and instill within me
that’s gonna sustain me for the rest of
my life
[Music]
you
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