if you find your passion you’re gonna
have this tremendous energy a
sustainable energy but momentum requires
you always do the next thing that keep
the momentum going and the reason you
get yourself in a passionate place is so
that you change your life and the only
thing that changes your life is making a
decision so while you’re in this
passionate state that’s where you make
decisions you don’t make decisions when
you’re like oh no what do you think all
right let’s decide if you make a
decision in a state without momentum if
you make a decision from a place where
there’s no passion you are not gonna get
momentum it’ll kill momentum it’s decide
commit and resolve some of you in the
past you’ve gotten momentum you’ve
gotten passionate you’ve even made a
decision but a decision is the first
step
decision is like a war I got to do this
or that all right I’m gonna make myself
through this but commitment is when you
nail after you’ve decided you commit to
do this for the long term whether it’s
hard or easy doesn’t matter you’re doing
this it takes it from this moment and it
carries it into the future even when
things are difficult and the third state
is resolved resolved
means it’s done it’s like it doesn’t
even if you took actually it’s done
inside you so it’s done out there
there’s no question whatsoever then once
you decide the only way the commitment
and the energy and the momentum
continues is if you take immediate
massive what my friends massive life
write down in your notes massive action
is the cure-all massive action is the
cure-all if you’re having a difficult
time with something your relationship
isn’t where you want
to be your finances are not where you
want to be your body’s not where you
want to be your business is not where it
want to be you need to take massive
action and if that doesn’t work try
something else so that’s his work try
something else
keep going with massive action and you
will find the way because it will give
you momentum if you want to grow a
business I can teach you a million
strategy will change you overnight and
if I get you to use the strategy and
grow your business 30% like that you are
gonna get so excited that your story
about your business will change won’t it
feel like I can lift this open I’m gonna
make this thing a hundred percent more
profit that’s why 80 percent those
people I can grow them thirty two
hundred thirty percent because once I
get a net momentum people’s story
changes and when their story changes the
third and most important thing changes
their state because that’s what really
the ultimate question I’m always asking
is how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we’re growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy I always
tell them one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you’re not
where you want to be yet if you’re on
the road if you’re improving if you’re
making progress you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session I’m breakthrough
I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be a little ravine by
blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is you work hard in
school you become really great you’re a
nice person you’re a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you fall in love you have a white picket
fence and you have to be perfect open
and you live happily ever after somebody
else’s story the old story was you work
really hard in school you excel in
college you’re going to work for a big
corporation and you move up through the
ranks until you’re the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today and what
people’s lives are supposed to be like
are completely diverse they no longer
have these little archetypes but when
our type still seems to remain that
archetype is in order for you to really
feel like you’re enough many people
believe they have to achieve an enormous
amount they made me do it in different
ways than they may do it by building a
company and taking it public when
they’re 27 or 25 years old or you know
they find and create a new technology or
they become a very special doctor but we
live in a culture in the West that
teaches people that you’re not enough
unless you do something really special
and unique and we define special and
unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers
like they’re nobody and pay them
accordingly and we wonder why our
children seem to have challenges of
learning and growing or being engaged in
school we spend thousands of dollars on
some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you’re just
a housewife you’re just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there’s one right or one
wrong approach but because we try to
make everybody fit into some particular
approach to life here’s what’s gonna
make you happy or make you unhappy in
life it’s real simple let’s do a quick
test if you’re in a situation right now
where you look at your life I know
there’s an area of your life that you’d
probably feel pretty darn good about
even if you’re not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you’re not close to
your kids maybe you don’t have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you’re doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you’ve trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscular layer and the way you look or
if that’s not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God or
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life they feel
really good about if they’re honest if
they’re fair to themselves what’s the
name of your life you really feel happy
about I want you think about it for a
moment truthfully
what’s an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so no you’re doing darn
well in and if you’re really hard on
yourself there’s still an area what’s an
area I want you to think of it right now
and once you think of that area whether
it’s your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today
really think about if you’re in a
seminar with God have you write this
down if you can you can put me on hold
here for a second because I’d like to
reveal to you what the formula is for
happiness and if I say there’s a formula
for happiness and here’s what it is
you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure and
that’s what he says but if you
put down the answer and we can see the
formulas real without me telling you
what it is you get to look at your own
life and say it matches you’re gonna
know this is right so you could stop
this right now if you want put me on
hold and just write down what’s an area
of your life you’re really really happy
about it really pleased with or you
could be if you wanted to focus on it
and why are you happy with that part of
your life right now people are gonna
happy with everything what’s the ER
you’re happy with and why put me on hold
right now or you’re not gonna do that
just think for a moment why specifically
be real why now when I asked this if
you’ve turned me back on now if I ask
this of an audience I’ll have people
write this down for a few minutes and
I’ll call on people I’ll say share with
a person next to you first what are you
happy about and why are you happy in
that area and be specific after they
share how people stand up I’ll call on a
variety of people and I say yeah I’m
tell me what are you happy about she’ll
say well honestly I’m really happy with
my body she does I never thought I’d say
that but I used to be so unhappy with it
and you know I finally I did some things
I push myself through and now I exercise
regularly I mean I’m not perfect but I
feel fit I feel strong I feel energetic
and that’s really I don’t know it just
feels good to me now I say to everybody
I’m not gonna show you what the form in
the FRA Fitness is and it’s real simple
I want to reveal it to you so you don’t
ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the air of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC or life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area match or equal to your blueprint
your story your belief about how life
should be in that area so this woman
says to me I’m really happy in my body
because it’s not perfect her blueprint
is I don’t need to be perfect but it’s
so much better than it was unfit and
then strong and I have this energy her
mental blueprint says I should be fit
strong and have energy I don’t need to
be perfect but I should be that way well
in my life my body matches how I think
it should be I feel good about my life
well that’s somebody else I’ll say you
know tell me know you’re happy with
someone else to say well I’m really
happy with my career and why well I’m
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m
working at this level in this company
and I have these
this ability and it’s even better than I
thought well once again listen this
person is happy with this area of their
life because their current life
conditions in the area called their
career are even better than they
expected they would be better than their
blueprint better than their belief about
how it should be if it’s really better
you tend to be over the moon but one
woman would say you know I gotta tell ya
I said I’m the happiest ever been in my
whole life how come she goes because I
have this man in my life and I’m in love
with him and he loves me and I can be
myself with him and he we have this
incredible intimacy and this passion and
we want to be with each other all the
time and I never get bored with him well
what’s her blueprint you want to be with
somebody that you could have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs of how it should be she said
you know it’s needs to be I never want
to be with anybody else I want to be
with him every moment her blueprint
about how life should be and the way she
lives her relationships even better than
she hoped when it’s better than you hope
you’re gonna be totally excited so think
about this then what’s an area you’re
not happy with let’s see we can find the
formula for unhappiness if the formula
for happiness is to be able to meet your
expectations or exceed them that we
really make sure excited but to be happy
at least Mita doesn’t have to be perfect
but if you general your meaning what you
expect you want from your life in that
area feel good right conditions match
blueprint feel good so what makes you
feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question what’s an area
of life you’re not happy with let me be
honest with yourself and even if your
life is great in all kinds of ways I’m
sure there’s an area you’d like to
improve anybody who’s honest if they’re
doing great in their career very often
don’t take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong there they go I don’t have
time for it
really saying is I don’t feel very
competent that area so what’s an area of
your life that you are not as happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
what I want to be that’s what we’re here
to do is like here’s what I want to be
here’s where I am it’s healthy to see
there’s a gap that makes me have this
hunger this drive to grow to feel alive
to expand as a human being
so what’s it is your body is it your
finances is it your career is it your
spiritual life or lack thereof in terms
of feeling connected in that area is it
your kids like what’s the area what’s
the area that’s not where you want it to
be and then answer for a moment why
aren’t you happy with that area of your
life right now why specifically today
are you not happy with that area of your
life at this stage of your time of your
life again you can stop this and write
it down might be useful for you
or if you’re gonna keep it running you
stop it and you turn it right back on
I’ll kick into it do that now or if you
kept it running then just I’ll give you
what happens I have people write this
down and they don’t like this exercise
so much I don’t like my body or I don’t
like my finances I don’t like my career
I don’t like the person I’m in a
relationship with I don’t like myself
the way I’m in relationships why they
write it all then how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people
advance here’s the formula for
unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and I said
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy with the person says well
I’m really not happy with my finances
like oh why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy
why are they crazy you said well because
they don’t have their economic needs met
no you can now have your economic needs
met and you can still be okay but when
you have an idea this is what my need is
and I did the wrong thing my life
doesn’t match how I’m supposed to be
that’s when people get a little crazy so
you think about it if you grew up taking
care of folding your own clothes making
your own meals going to the store doing
the grocery shopping cleaning the
bedroom cleaning the house vacuuming
taking out the trash and you did that
your whole life then if you have to do
that later on you don’t feel like you
have economic pain because you’ll have a
maid but if you grew up an environment
where everything was done for you you
never have to work and now suddenly you
have to work incredibly hard to just
pick enough money to pay your bills and
all of a sudden food is building up and
house is dirty and your clothes aren’t
folded and nothing matches you might
find yourself really angry and
frustrated because you have a different
story about how life’s supposed to be
than how it is someone else will say
well I’ll tell you why because I’m in a
situation now where you know I’m 30
pounds everything I should be should be
the key word there are people there are
people in all cultures who love being
big there are people that will walk
around and someone else might think
they’re massively overweight but they’re
gone I own this honey and they really
truly they match their blueprint big is
beautiful cuz their ideas big is
beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when I ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living
or we feel like a pain that just will
never go away
and I’m people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while Keene if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need be an NBA
basketball player or at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle’s my aunts I am the
successful one in the family and I make
the money I support everybody is a good
man
he didn’t come just to be successful he
took care of his mother his families he
tried to be an inspiration for people
Joaquin Hawkins as a man I was always
going out on his free time and training
kids and shown them the pathway to
freedom how they could play basketball
and get free like he did and get out of
the inner city so this man is not a
selfish man but he knew this is the way
to be worthwhile this is the way to be
able to give to people this is the way
to take care of your family
and all of a sudden one night what
happened that way was taken from him he
has a stroke and another night his life
conditions make it impossible to be who
he has to be or he feels like he’s
worthless you get it we have an identity
we have a story of how we’re supposed to
be and if life somehow gets in the way
of that story we feel pain but if we
feel we have no control that’s when we
go on to suffering
see it’s one thing to say my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I got to lose
weight that might stress you out or my
life doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not
in a relationship I gotta get in one
that might motivate you even you might
not like it but you’re gonna find a way
to get on with or my career doesn’t
matter I should be you could change it
but when you start believing that your
life doesn’t match your blueprint and
you have no control to change it you’re
helpless that’s when people suffer and
so this week for your breakthrough
it’s a chance for you to start to take a
look at your blueprint anywhere you’re
really having pain Hey look if you’re
doing great in some area of your life
celebrate of course and I’m sure there
are many areas you are but life is
really a seriously growth spurts I mean
two things in life make you feel alive
growing and giving and what’s really
wonderful about this man Joaquin is he
was constantly growing trying to get
better trying to be a better team made a
better basketball player think about it
when he didn’t make the teams and didn’t
make the NBA he didn’t give up he worked
even harder the guy was always striving
striving to become something and he
became it and he achieved it and then
life took it from him
isn’t that the common denominator was so
many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristen
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married to have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and didn’t ask for
this chair does not define me I can
become more than I was before I can have
the impact with my wife I can have
children we had to change his blueprint
because we couldn’t change all the
conditions of his life does that make
sense I couldn’t get him to physically
walk again maybe someday he will but we
can’t count on that well we gotta count
on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing
he isn’t helpless that I did that to a
series of experiences that violated what
he thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
our Keane said why I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and
think you’re helpless to change it now
you have only three choices choice one
blame something and that’s what lucky
and dead if you recall he blamed his
coach he blamed what happened to him and
of course these things were outside his
control but he blamed his coach and a
big part of the healing if you watch
this session was bringing his coach in
and getting him to see hey you know what
all that anger all that resentment
inside of you are keen a it’s not based
on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela
said you know having resentment in your
soul is like drinking poison and hoping
that your enemy will die and then work
that way
and when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn’t
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don’t know how to
change it so I’m looking for something
to be mad about someone to blame so so I
don’t have to blame myself or I don’t
have to feel so helpless because when
you’re angry you don’t feel so helpless
you feel strong for the moment even
though it’s a fake strength when he was
able to make that breakthrough he could
stop blaming cuz these are three choices
when life doesn’t match how you think it
should be blame something an event
someone else or yourself as we talked
about earlier in the series blame games
just destroy you there’s no progress
when you play for the moment you feel
okay but nothing changes what are your
real choices you only have two choices
in life if life doesn’t match your
blueprint you either have to change your
life that is you kind of say you know
what my body isn’t there I’m gonna go
work out my relationship is in there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
what I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can’t
change your life you’re gonna have to
change your blueprint usually in life it
requires a little bit of each does that
make sense and if you’ve changed your
take change your life and change your
blueprint you can have an extraordinary
life and what you witness this man do
was once he let go of his anger and his
denial once he started look at things he
began to find by spending time with his
family that he was worthwhile being
loved while he played basketball or not
of course national basketball is no
longer a part of it and we had to get
keen to shift that and Joaquin is a
metaphor for all of us because all of us
are gonna have times in our life when
what we want or think life should be
like isn’t gonna match how life really
is those moments if we blame our life
goes into pain if we change we can
change our life and match our blueprint
but we have to also know when it’s not
within our control and that’s how we’re
able to make a shift and change what our
story is for our life what our
expectations are not by lowering them
but by changing what that model really
is helping this make sense to you I’ll
give you a great example
years ago I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds and walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details we can’t
figure out exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people’s idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
it I don’t know what it is everyone’s
tried to help her she’s been on the
through counseling she’s got all these
different drugs nothing’s working
she’s taking antidepressants and she’s
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level
and you feel like you’re helpless to
change it you’re gonna be depressed so I
said bring her to me I said I can help
her I know that sounds like hyperbole
but I absolutely can help her well how
do you know that Tony because I already
know what the problem is I know if
someone’s depressed it’s because they
feel helpless because their life doesn’t
match how they think it should be I just
didn’t know what her blueprint is but
we’ll find out what it is and we’ll
either help her change her life or mop
or change a blueprint or both long story
short and very quickly I’ll tell you the
core of it she came to me and she spent
maybe the first half an hour telling me
apologizing saying I know I should be
happier I know it’s silly for me to be
depressed I don’t know why I’m so
depressed I I know I should be grateful
for what I have and I am grateful it was
all these reasons why she knows she
should feel good but still didn’t I try
to finally explain to her listen I don’t
care about that I care about you the
fact that you’re not happy has nothing
to do with what you have or don’t have
the fact that you’re not happy is that
your life doesn’t match the way you
think it should be
you have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this the
press that for all this time you feel
like you can’t do anything you have no
power to change it you feel helpless and
she looked at me in a certain way and I
said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well that
sounds stupid I says I sound stupid to
me she said well I don’t know I just
always since I was a little girl dreamed
that I would be married and I would have
3 basically perfect children and they
would love me totally and I love my
husband he loved me and I said ok so
how’s that working for you so far and
she said well I think you know there’s
pretty famous person she said I’m the
worst twice I have no children and now X
age and to give you a clue that age
would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don’t you just
adopt no no no no no that’s not it so
what I had to dig under is whenever we
talked and one of the earlier sessions
about there’s the surface problem and
then there’s the deeper desire or need
so I said to her I said well what if you
couldn’t have the husband but you could
have the kids and she smiled she said I
take that I said well why not adopt your
kid she goes now it has to be my own
blood children so I kept digging to find
out what was behind her blueprint
because your blueprint is just a
projection of what you think you need to
be happy but as human beings were
notoriously ineffective at knowing
that’s gonna make us happy so much that
we think we’re gonna make us happy we
get there we go as this or all there is
so many things that we think are gonna
make us miserable we can never deal with
we go through it we can handle it we’re
not good at projecting these things all
kinds of studies will show this so I
said to her well what what are you
hoping to get from these three children
why do they have to be your blood
children and she finally said well if
they’re my blood children I know they’ll
always love me they’ll never leave me
what was she looking for unconditional
love she had this big blueprint that
said white house picket fence three
children perfect husband you know all
these different things but what was
behind that was
need-a need to feel like she could have
love that would be certain and wouldn’t
go away so I can help her meet that need
so I said to her I said well maybe one
reason you don’t have a husband is
because every time you look at one
you’re trying to figure out if he’s
gonna get you those three kids in time
and how that’s gonna happen and maybe he
feels a little stressed when you slow
you’re looking at in this way because he
can feel what’s going on behind your bed
even if he doesn’t know what the words
are and she started laughs because I
guess I’ve probably been that way a good
portion of my life and she goes people
wonder you know why I’m so uptight
I say you’re uptight because you ever
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love I said don’t
channel I love you I’ve tell me about
your friends and gradually I got her to
start seeing this love that she was
trying to get was already here it didn’t
match the picture maybe maybe we could
paint a new picture of what life could
really be like and make sure that
picture met her deepest needs that’s
basically we did Joaquin Joaquin wanted
to be a professional basketball player
cause he loved basketball yes but also
because he wanted to be that man who was
a leader he wanted to be a man who was
the good man he want to be the one who
brought energy to people he want to be
the man people would look up to he want
to be the man who could take care of his
family and style all of his family not
just his daughters and his wife but
other people as well underneath it all
he wanted to know that he mattered and
through the process that you saw in the
show he began to find out that he didn’t
need to be angry at the world that yes
his blueprint was taken from him but his
soul and his ability to be a special
human being and it could touch other
people was not taken from him that may
be his real gift was his ability to
inspire young kids his ability to get
himself to do whatever it took how do
you become a professional basketball
player unbelievable discipline
unbelievable Drive he started bringing
that to picking up trash and the game
started to change he stood out Mary
could come home and take care of his
kids and pay his bills that doesn’t
solve everything but it gives him a way
to suddenly regain himself when he sat
around with all of his family and you
saw part of those scenes and if you
watch little areas of browsing this week
you’ll see some more scenes from his
family where you see him begin you
realize they love me whether I’m rich or
poor they love me
no basketball player or not they love me
that’s what he was really after when he
got that it allowed him to let go and
say I can do other things that doesn’t
mean he won’t have challenges we’re all
gonna have challenges in our life he
admit doesn’t mean that at times he
won’t what she’s doing more but he’s no
longer stuck he’s broken through because
he now knows I have control I can change
my life or I can change my blueprint and
when I do I can fulfill it I can start
to fail that aliveness now here’s the
trap what do you think happens once you
fulfill your blueprint regularly why
don’t you figure out how to do what you
always dreamed of you always dream to
live a certain way and now you’re living
that way live in that way living that
way every day
well the human nervous system human
spirit needs to grow so pretty soon
you’ll get bored with that and you’ll
come up with a new blueprint that’s part
of the part of life that’s exciting see
if you and I are from this day forward
are gonna be happy just remember we’ve
said it takes two things grow and give a
meaningful life comes from growing that
sense of progress and it comes from
having life not just be about me but
about we doing something that makes me
feel connected to other people besides
myself that growth that sense of
contribution fills a deep spiritual need
that we all have if you are unhappy in
your life you got three choices really
to blame that’s not a choice it’s not
gonna work don’t blame someone else
don’t blame you that don’t blame
yourself just figure out what you’re
gonna do to change your life that’s my
specialty if you like my coaching or my
team’s coaching come visit with us come
to an event come get a coach come to a
program or we’ll guide you through it
more than just a few minutes like this
and we’ll do it directly an environment
that’ll
change your blueprint you’re gonna have
to rewire what’s going on inside and
that’s what we focus on as well so I
hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope it’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else in
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again
we’d love to coach you and show you how
to change those in a permanent way where
it happens automatically just like
lifting weights Oh off until the muscle
is always there and you find yourself
able to follow through it takes for you
to be able to figure how to deal with
crisis and how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you it takes putting yourself in a
position where you connect to what’s
more important than just yourself what
you value than just yourself and it
takes I think in this case also the
ability to realize that no matter what
happens to you you’re more than that
moment you’re more than the story you
think you’re supposed to be and that
even when you’re not matching what you
think you need to be maybe there’s a
reason for that maybe you’re having to
find a different part of yourself that’s
gonna fulfill you in a much deeper level
sometimes failing to get your goal gives
you your destiny I can tell you how many
people I’ve known of the years who have
an idea of what they thought their life
was supposed to be like and they didn’t
achieve it they felt miserable and upset
and frustrated and one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god thank
God that didn’t happen I think it’s
Garth Brooks had a great song and it’s a
song about when he was in high school
and he was in love with this girl
infatuated with her and she didn’t even
know that he existed and he prayed to
God every day that she would notice him
that she would fall in love with him and
then sure enough she never did he was so
disappointed his blueprint didn’t match
his life didn’t match it because she
didn’t even know he existed and he felt
this suffering he could do nothing to
turn it around well 15 years later he
became a guy named Garth Brooks somebody
everybody knew and he could rock you
know stadiums with his energy and his
song and his music and it goes back to
being this high school reunion it was
his 15 Yuri and if I remember correctly
I don’t remember the exact year but all
I remember is he said he saw that woman
that he was so obsessed by I was looking
forward to seeing her and now he was
Garth Brooks and he met her and after he
met her and spent some time with her he
wrote a song called thank God for
unanswered prayers sometimes not getting
your blueprints the best thing that ever
happened because the disappointment
drives you to find something more
important
side of you or not getting it makes you
look for another aspect of your life a
spiritual aspect of a family aspect a
physical aspect if you can just trust
that life doesn’t happen to you it
happens for you then you can find in any
situation a benefit that can take your
life to the next level I don’t care if
you’re Frank and Christian I don’t care
if you’re you know Mandy and Scott I
don’t care if you’re Joaquin and Kim
every one of us in our life is gonna fee
feels like we have total trauma
something that’s been taken from us the
real question is what are you gonna do
with it some people just live in the
story of what they don’t have and they
have the right to do that the Frank and
Chris them lived in pain and felt bad
we’d all say they have the right to do
it
it’s the difference doing what you have
the right to do and what you deserve to
give yourself and others we have the
ability to transcend whatever happens to
us there’s something called
post-traumatic growth very few people
know about it – people go through the
same stress one’s destroyed the other
grows what’s the difference the people
that grow will not give up they don’t
have any excuses they find the way to
break through whatever it takes and when
they do three things happen number one
they realize who they really are and
what they’re capable of they realize
there’s so much stronger than they
thought they were and number two they
deepen all their relationships you want
to know who really cares about you who
you love and who loves you go through
some tragedy go through some hard times
all your Facebook friends go away your
real friends your real family shows up
for you and you show up for them and it
deepens your relationships and the third
thing happens if you can push yourself
through and break through whatever
challenges life gives you is each time
you ever break through you get stronger
and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you we’re
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore cuz
after you’ve been through a stroke after
you’ve been through you know losing the
use of some of your body or senses after
you lose a family member and you break
through to that you get to the other
side it’s like give me your best shot
life it’s almost like there’s this
psychological immune
it says I’m ready for whatever life will
give me I don’t want challenges but if
they’re here I know I can handle them
that strength of spirit is what creates
a sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly and never ending feeling you
a way to improve yourself and to help
others that’s my mission and if we can
serve you again in the future
I hope you’ll check us out there’s three
ways you can continue to participate
with us you can come to an event come
have an experience with us live in a
weekend at our unleash the power within
or our date with destinies I think
you’ll find it’s very different than
just sitting here talking to you quietly
sitting in front of your computer screen
it’s a rock’n’roll environment it’s like
going to the ballpark and having one
person sitting there talking to you
versus being in the ball park or the
rock and roll concert you know with
50,000 there’s an energy and a power
that comes from its second is there’s
immersion here we talked for an hour
there’s distractions and emails there
it’s too little focus and we go for
immersion we’re literally what we did
here over six weeks few little
conversations all that happens over and
over again multiple times a day you get
that shift so come to an event or call
up and get a coach we have people that
you can work with and have a free
coaching session to make sure it’s
really valuable for you but these are
people that can check in with you to
help make sure you break through you
make the changes you want to make and
your career your finances your body or
your motions or whatever area matters to
you and finally lastly and probably most
importantly every day you got to feed
your mind because every day most of us
are turning on you know some form of
news it shows up in our pocket and our
blackberries or iPods or iPhones I
should say it shows up you know on your
computer constantly it chases us in it
rarely does a good idea interrupt you
really what you have to do is pursue the
ideas pursue the experiences they’re
gonna change your life and we have a way
to do it called net time no extra time a
way where you can keep feeding your mind
the stuff that really matters with some
products or services so if you’re
interested in any of those things be
sure to click on your interest of an
event or interest in having a free
coaching session or maybe try one of our
audio programs because the other
challenge here is with video got to sit
here potentially and watch me but with
audio you can do it while you’re working
out you can do it while you’re cleaning
the house
can do it while you’re driving in the
car are you getting to work we’d love to
continue serving you in any way we can I
know I’ve gone wrong in this session but
I really want you to think about how can
I get my life the way I want it to be
the way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a life thank you for the
time that we spent together here I’ve
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this break do series remind you to never
settle for less than you can be never
settle for less than you can give or you
can share live strong live with passion and god bless
have this tremendous energy a
sustainable energy but momentum requires
you always do the next thing that keep
the momentum going and the reason you
get yourself in a passionate place is so
that you change your life and the only
thing that changes your life is making a
decision so while you’re in this
passionate state that’s where you make
decisions you don’t make decisions when
you’re like oh no what do you think all
right let’s decide if you make a
decision in a state without momentum if
you make a decision from a place where
there’s no passion you are not gonna get
momentum it’ll kill momentum it’s decide
commit and resolve some of you in the
past you’ve gotten momentum you’ve
gotten passionate you’ve even made a
decision but a decision is the first
step
decision is like a war I got to do this
or that all right I’m gonna make myself
through this but commitment is when you
nail after you’ve decided you commit to
do this for the long term whether it’s
hard or easy doesn’t matter you’re doing
this it takes it from this moment and it
carries it into the future even when
things are difficult and the third state
is resolved resolved
means it’s done it’s like it doesn’t
even if you took actually it’s done
inside you so it’s done out there
there’s no question whatsoever then once
you decide the only way the commitment
and the energy and the momentum
continues is if you take immediate
massive what my friends massive life
write down in your notes massive action
is the cure-all massive action is the
cure-all if you’re having a difficult
time with something your relationship
isn’t where you want
to be your finances are not where you
want to be your body’s not where you
want to be your business is not where it
want to be you need to take massive
action and if that doesn’t work try
something else so that’s his work try
something else
keep going with massive action and you
will find the way because it will give
you momentum if you want to grow a
business I can teach you a million
strategy will change you overnight and
if I get you to use the strategy and
grow your business 30% like that you are
gonna get so excited that your story
about your business will change won’t it
feel like I can lift this open I’m gonna
make this thing a hundred percent more
profit that’s why 80 percent those
people I can grow them thirty two
hundred thirty percent because once I
get a net momentum people’s story
changes and when their story changes the
third and most important thing changes
their state because that’s what really
the ultimate question I’m always asking
is how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we’re growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy I always
tell them one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you’re not
where you want to be yet if you’re on
the road if you’re improving if you’re
making progress you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session I’m breakthrough
I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be a little ravine by
blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is you work hard in
school you become really great you’re a
nice person you’re a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you fall in love you have a white picket
fence and you have to be perfect open
and you live happily ever after somebody
else’s story the old story was you work
really hard in school you excel in
college you’re going to work for a big
corporation and you move up through the
ranks until you’re the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today and what
people’s lives are supposed to be like
are completely diverse they no longer
have these little archetypes but when
our type still seems to remain that
archetype is in order for you to really
feel like you’re enough many people
believe they have to achieve an enormous
amount they made me do it in different
ways than they may do it by building a
company and taking it public when
they’re 27 or 25 years old or you know
they find and create a new technology or
they become a very special doctor but we
live in a culture in the West that
teaches people that you’re not enough
unless you do something really special
and unique and we define special and
unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers
like they’re nobody and pay them
accordingly and we wonder why our
children seem to have challenges of
learning and growing or being engaged in
school we spend thousands of dollars on
some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you’re just
a housewife you’re just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there’s one right or one
wrong approach but because we try to
make everybody fit into some particular
approach to life here’s what’s gonna
make you happy or make you unhappy in
life it’s real simple let’s do a quick
test if you’re in a situation right now
where you look at your life I know
there’s an area of your life that you’d
probably feel pretty darn good about
even if you’re not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you’re not close to
your kids maybe you don’t have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you’re doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you’ve trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscular layer and the way you look or
if that’s not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God or
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life they feel
really good about if they’re honest if
they’re fair to themselves what’s the
name of your life you really feel happy
about I want you think about it for a
moment truthfully
what’s an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so no you’re doing darn
well in and if you’re really hard on
yourself there’s still an area what’s an
area I want you to think of it right now
and once you think of that area whether
it’s your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today
really think about if you’re in a
seminar with God have you write this
down if you can you can put me on hold
here for a second because I’d like to
reveal to you what the formula is for
happiness and if I say there’s a formula
for happiness and here’s what it is
you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure and
that’s what he says but if you
put down the answer and we can see the
formulas real without me telling you
what it is you get to look at your own
life and say it matches you’re gonna
know this is right so you could stop
this right now if you want put me on
hold and just write down what’s an area
of your life you’re really really happy
about it really pleased with or you
could be if you wanted to focus on it
and why are you happy with that part of
your life right now people are gonna
happy with everything what’s the ER
you’re happy with and why put me on hold
right now or you’re not gonna do that
just think for a moment why specifically
be real why now when I asked this if
you’ve turned me back on now if I ask
this of an audience I’ll have people
write this down for a few minutes and
I’ll call on people I’ll say share with
a person next to you first what are you
happy about and why are you happy in
that area and be specific after they
share how people stand up I’ll call on a
variety of people and I say yeah I’m
tell me what are you happy about she’ll
say well honestly I’m really happy with
my body she does I never thought I’d say
that but I used to be so unhappy with it
and you know I finally I did some things
I push myself through and now I exercise
regularly I mean I’m not perfect but I
feel fit I feel strong I feel energetic
and that’s really I don’t know it just
feels good to me now I say to everybody
I’m not gonna show you what the form in
the FRA Fitness is and it’s real simple
I want to reveal it to you so you don’t
ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the air of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC or life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area match or equal to your blueprint
your story your belief about how life
should be in that area so this woman
says to me I’m really happy in my body
because it’s not perfect her blueprint
is I don’t need to be perfect but it’s
so much better than it was unfit and
then strong and I have this energy her
mental blueprint says I should be fit
strong and have energy I don’t need to
be perfect but I should be that way well
in my life my body matches how I think
it should be I feel good about my life
well that’s somebody else I’ll say you
know tell me know you’re happy with
someone else to say well I’m really
happy with my career and why well I’m
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m
working at this level in this company
and I have these
this ability and it’s even better than I
thought well once again listen this
person is happy with this area of their
life because their current life
conditions in the area called their
career are even better than they
expected they would be better than their
blueprint better than their belief about
how it should be if it’s really better
you tend to be over the moon but one
woman would say you know I gotta tell ya
I said I’m the happiest ever been in my
whole life how come she goes because I
have this man in my life and I’m in love
with him and he loves me and I can be
myself with him and he we have this
incredible intimacy and this passion and
we want to be with each other all the
time and I never get bored with him well
what’s her blueprint you want to be with
somebody that you could have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs of how it should be she said
you know it’s needs to be I never want
to be with anybody else I want to be
with him every moment her blueprint
about how life should be and the way she
lives her relationships even better than
she hoped when it’s better than you hope
you’re gonna be totally excited so think
about this then what’s an area you’re
not happy with let’s see we can find the
formula for unhappiness if the formula
for happiness is to be able to meet your
expectations or exceed them that we
really make sure excited but to be happy
at least Mita doesn’t have to be perfect
but if you general your meaning what you
expect you want from your life in that
area feel good right conditions match
blueprint feel good so what makes you
feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question what’s an area
of life you’re not happy with let me be
honest with yourself and even if your
life is great in all kinds of ways I’m
sure there’s an area you’d like to
improve anybody who’s honest if they’re
doing great in their career very often
don’t take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong there they go I don’t have
time for it
really saying is I don’t feel very
competent that area so what’s an area of
your life that you are not as happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
what I want to be that’s what we’re here
to do is like here’s what I want to be
here’s where I am it’s healthy to see
there’s a gap that makes me have this
hunger this drive to grow to feel alive
to expand as a human being
so what’s it is your body is it your
finances is it your career is it your
spiritual life or lack thereof in terms
of feeling connected in that area is it
your kids like what’s the area what’s
the area that’s not where you want it to
be and then answer for a moment why
aren’t you happy with that area of your
life right now why specifically today
are you not happy with that area of your
life at this stage of your time of your
life again you can stop this and write
it down might be useful for you
or if you’re gonna keep it running you
stop it and you turn it right back on
I’ll kick into it do that now or if you
kept it running then just I’ll give you
what happens I have people write this
down and they don’t like this exercise
so much I don’t like my body or I don’t
like my finances I don’t like my career
I don’t like the person I’m in a
relationship with I don’t like myself
the way I’m in relationships why they
write it all then how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people
advance here’s the formula for
unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and I said
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy with the person says well
I’m really not happy with my finances
like oh why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy
why are they crazy you said well because
they don’t have their economic needs met
no you can now have your economic needs
met and you can still be okay but when
you have an idea this is what my need is
and I did the wrong thing my life
doesn’t match how I’m supposed to be
that’s when people get a little crazy so
you think about it if you grew up taking
care of folding your own clothes making
your own meals going to the store doing
the grocery shopping cleaning the
bedroom cleaning the house vacuuming
taking out the trash and you did that
your whole life then if you have to do
that later on you don’t feel like you
have economic pain because you’ll have a
maid but if you grew up an environment
where everything was done for you you
never have to work and now suddenly you
have to work incredibly hard to just
pick enough money to pay your bills and
all of a sudden food is building up and
house is dirty and your clothes aren’t
folded and nothing matches you might
find yourself really angry and
frustrated because you have a different
story about how life’s supposed to be
than how it is someone else will say
well I’ll tell you why because I’m in a
situation now where you know I’m 30
pounds everything I should be should be
the key word there are people there are
people in all cultures who love being
big there are people that will walk
around and someone else might think
they’re massively overweight but they’re
gone I own this honey and they really
truly they match their blueprint big is
beautiful cuz their ideas big is
beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when I ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living
or we feel like a pain that just will
never go away
and I’m people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while Keene if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need be an NBA
basketball player or at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle’s my aunts I am the
successful one in the family and I make
the money I support everybody is a good
man
he didn’t come just to be successful he
took care of his mother his families he
tried to be an inspiration for people
Joaquin Hawkins as a man I was always
going out on his free time and training
kids and shown them the pathway to
freedom how they could play basketball
and get free like he did and get out of
the inner city so this man is not a
selfish man but he knew this is the way
to be worthwhile this is the way to be
able to give to people this is the way
to take care of your family
and all of a sudden one night what
happened that way was taken from him he
has a stroke and another night his life
conditions make it impossible to be who
he has to be or he feels like he’s
worthless you get it we have an identity
we have a story of how we’re supposed to
be and if life somehow gets in the way
of that story we feel pain but if we
feel we have no control that’s when we
go on to suffering
see it’s one thing to say my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I got to lose
weight that might stress you out or my
life doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not
in a relationship I gotta get in one
that might motivate you even you might
not like it but you’re gonna find a way
to get on with or my career doesn’t
matter I should be you could change it
but when you start believing that your
life doesn’t match your blueprint and
you have no control to change it you’re
helpless that’s when people suffer and
so this week for your breakthrough
it’s a chance for you to start to take a
look at your blueprint anywhere you’re
really having pain Hey look if you’re
doing great in some area of your life
celebrate of course and I’m sure there
are many areas you are but life is
really a seriously growth spurts I mean
two things in life make you feel alive
growing and giving and what’s really
wonderful about this man Joaquin is he
was constantly growing trying to get
better trying to be a better team made a
better basketball player think about it
when he didn’t make the teams and didn’t
make the NBA he didn’t give up he worked
even harder the guy was always striving
striving to become something and he
became it and he achieved it and then
life took it from him
isn’t that the common denominator was so
many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristen
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married to have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and didn’t ask for
this chair does not define me I can
become more than I was before I can have
the impact with my wife I can have
children we had to change his blueprint
because we couldn’t change all the
conditions of his life does that make
sense I couldn’t get him to physically
walk again maybe someday he will but we
can’t count on that well we gotta count
on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing
he isn’t helpless that I did that to a
series of experiences that violated what
he thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
our Keane said why I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and
think you’re helpless to change it now
you have only three choices choice one
blame something and that’s what lucky
and dead if you recall he blamed his
coach he blamed what happened to him and
of course these things were outside his
control but he blamed his coach and a
big part of the healing if you watch
this session was bringing his coach in
and getting him to see hey you know what
all that anger all that resentment
inside of you are keen a it’s not based
on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela
said you know having resentment in your
soul is like drinking poison and hoping
that your enemy will die and then work
that way
and when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn’t
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don’t know how to
change it so I’m looking for something
to be mad about someone to blame so so I
don’t have to blame myself or I don’t
have to feel so helpless because when
you’re angry you don’t feel so helpless
you feel strong for the moment even
though it’s a fake strength when he was
able to make that breakthrough he could
stop blaming cuz these are three choices
when life doesn’t match how you think it
should be blame something an event
someone else or yourself as we talked
about earlier in the series blame games
just destroy you there’s no progress
when you play for the moment you feel
okay but nothing changes what are your
real choices you only have two choices
in life if life doesn’t match your
blueprint you either have to change your
life that is you kind of say you know
what my body isn’t there I’m gonna go
work out my relationship is in there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
what I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can’t
change your life you’re gonna have to
change your blueprint usually in life it
requires a little bit of each does that
make sense and if you’ve changed your
take change your life and change your
blueprint you can have an extraordinary
life and what you witness this man do
was once he let go of his anger and his
denial once he started look at things he
began to find by spending time with his
family that he was worthwhile being
loved while he played basketball or not
of course national basketball is no
longer a part of it and we had to get
keen to shift that and Joaquin is a
metaphor for all of us because all of us
are gonna have times in our life when
what we want or think life should be
like isn’t gonna match how life really
is those moments if we blame our life
goes into pain if we change we can
change our life and match our blueprint
but we have to also know when it’s not
within our control and that’s how we’re
able to make a shift and change what our
story is for our life what our
expectations are not by lowering them
but by changing what that model really
is helping this make sense to you I’ll
give you a great example
years ago I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds and walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details we can’t
figure out exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people’s idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
it I don’t know what it is everyone’s
tried to help her she’s been on the
through counseling she’s got all these
different drugs nothing’s working
she’s taking antidepressants and she’s
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level
and you feel like you’re helpless to
change it you’re gonna be depressed so I
said bring her to me I said I can help
her I know that sounds like hyperbole
but I absolutely can help her well how
do you know that Tony because I already
know what the problem is I know if
someone’s depressed it’s because they
feel helpless because their life doesn’t
match how they think it should be I just
didn’t know what her blueprint is but
we’ll find out what it is and we’ll
either help her change her life or mop
or change a blueprint or both long story
short and very quickly I’ll tell you the
core of it she came to me and she spent
maybe the first half an hour telling me
apologizing saying I know I should be
happier I know it’s silly for me to be
depressed I don’t know why I’m so
depressed I I know I should be grateful
for what I have and I am grateful it was
all these reasons why she knows she
should feel good but still didn’t I try
to finally explain to her listen I don’t
care about that I care about you the
fact that you’re not happy has nothing
to do with what you have or don’t have
the fact that you’re not happy is that
your life doesn’t match the way you
think it should be
you have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this the
press that for all this time you feel
like you can’t do anything you have no
power to change it you feel helpless and
she looked at me in a certain way and I
said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well that
sounds stupid I says I sound stupid to
me she said well I don’t know I just
always since I was a little girl dreamed
that I would be married and I would have
3 basically perfect children and they
would love me totally and I love my
husband he loved me and I said ok so
how’s that working for you so far and
she said well I think you know there’s
pretty famous person she said I’m the
worst twice I have no children and now X
age and to give you a clue that age
would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don’t you just
adopt no no no no no that’s not it so
what I had to dig under is whenever we
talked and one of the earlier sessions
about there’s the surface problem and
then there’s the deeper desire or need
so I said to her I said well what if you
couldn’t have the husband but you could
have the kids and she smiled she said I
take that I said well why not adopt your
kid she goes now it has to be my own
blood children so I kept digging to find
out what was behind her blueprint
because your blueprint is just a
projection of what you think you need to
be happy but as human beings were
notoriously ineffective at knowing
that’s gonna make us happy so much that
we think we’re gonna make us happy we
get there we go as this or all there is
so many things that we think are gonna
make us miserable we can never deal with
we go through it we can handle it we’re
not good at projecting these things all
kinds of studies will show this so I
said to her well what what are you
hoping to get from these three children
why do they have to be your blood
children and she finally said well if
they’re my blood children I know they’ll
always love me they’ll never leave me
what was she looking for unconditional
love she had this big blueprint that
said white house picket fence three
children perfect husband you know all
these different things but what was
behind that was
need-a need to feel like she could have
love that would be certain and wouldn’t
go away so I can help her meet that need
so I said to her I said well maybe one
reason you don’t have a husband is
because every time you look at one
you’re trying to figure out if he’s
gonna get you those three kids in time
and how that’s gonna happen and maybe he
feels a little stressed when you slow
you’re looking at in this way because he
can feel what’s going on behind your bed
even if he doesn’t know what the words
are and she started laughs because I
guess I’ve probably been that way a good
portion of my life and she goes people
wonder you know why I’m so uptight
I say you’re uptight because you ever
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love I said don’t
channel I love you I’ve tell me about
your friends and gradually I got her to
start seeing this love that she was
trying to get was already here it didn’t
match the picture maybe maybe we could
paint a new picture of what life could
really be like and make sure that
picture met her deepest needs that’s
basically we did Joaquin Joaquin wanted
to be a professional basketball player
cause he loved basketball yes but also
because he wanted to be that man who was
a leader he wanted to be a man who was
the good man he want to be the one who
brought energy to people he want to be
the man people would look up to he want
to be the man who could take care of his
family and style all of his family not
just his daughters and his wife but
other people as well underneath it all
he wanted to know that he mattered and
through the process that you saw in the
show he began to find out that he didn’t
need to be angry at the world that yes
his blueprint was taken from him but his
soul and his ability to be a special
human being and it could touch other
people was not taken from him that may
be his real gift was his ability to
inspire young kids his ability to get
himself to do whatever it took how do
you become a professional basketball
player unbelievable discipline
unbelievable Drive he started bringing
that to picking up trash and the game
started to change he stood out Mary
could come home and take care of his
kids and pay his bills that doesn’t
solve everything but it gives him a way
to suddenly regain himself when he sat
around with all of his family and you
saw part of those scenes and if you
watch little areas of browsing this week
you’ll see some more scenes from his
family where you see him begin you
realize they love me whether I’m rich or
poor they love me
no basketball player or not they love me
that’s what he was really after when he
got that it allowed him to let go and
say I can do other things that doesn’t
mean he won’t have challenges we’re all
gonna have challenges in our life he
admit doesn’t mean that at times he
won’t what she’s doing more but he’s no
longer stuck he’s broken through because
he now knows I have control I can change
my life or I can change my blueprint and
when I do I can fulfill it I can start
to fail that aliveness now here’s the
trap what do you think happens once you
fulfill your blueprint regularly why
don’t you figure out how to do what you
always dreamed of you always dream to
live a certain way and now you’re living
that way live in that way living that
way every day
well the human nervous system human
spirit needs to grow so pretty soon
you’ll get bored with that and you’ll
come up with a new blueprint that’s part
of the part of life that’s exciting see
if you and I are from this day forward
are gonna be happy just remember we’ve
said it takes two things grow and give a
meaningful life comes from growing that
sense of progress and it comes from
having life not just be about me but
about we doing something that makes me
feel connected to other people besides
myself that growth that sense of
contribution fills a deep spiritual need
that we all have if you are unhappy in
your life you got three choices really
to blame that’s not a choice it’s not
gonna work don’t blame someone else
don’t blame you that don’t blame
yourself just figure out what you’re
gonna do to change your life that’s my
specialty if you like my coaching or my
team’s coaching come visit with us come
to an event come get a coach come to a
program or we’ll guide you through it
more than just a few minutes like this
and we’ll do it directly an environment
that’ll
change your blueprint you’re gonna have
to rewire what’s going on inside and
that’s what we focus on as well so I
hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope it’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else in
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again
we’d love to coach you and show you how
to change those in a permanent way where
it happens automatically just like
lifting weights Oh off until the muscle
is always there and you find yourself
able to follow through it takes for you
to be able to figure how to deal with
crisis and how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you it takes putting yourself in a
position where you connect to what’s
more important than just yourself what
you value than just yourself and it
takes I think in this case also the
ability to realize that no matter what
happens to you you’re more than that
moment you’re more than the story you
think you’re supposed to be and that
even when you’re not matching what you
think you need to be maybe there’s a
reason for that maybe you’re having to
find a different part of yourself that’s
gonna fulfill you in a much deeper level
sometimes failing to get your goal gives
you your destiny I can tell you how many
people I’ve known of the years who have
an idea of what they thought their life
was supposed to be like and they didn’t
achieve it they felt miserable and upset
and frustrated and one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god thank
God that didn’t happen I think it’s
Garth Brooks had a great song and it’s a
song about when he was in high school
and he was in love with this girl
infatuated with her and she didn’t even
know that he existed and he prayed to
God every day that she would notice him
that she would fall in love with him and
then sure enough she never did he was so
disappointed his blueprint didn’t match
his life didn’t match it because she
didn’t even know he existed and he felt
this suffering he could do nothing to
turn it around well 15 years later he
became a guy named Garth Brooks somebody
everybody knew and he could rock you
know stadiums with his energy and his
song and his music and it goes back to
being this high school reunion it was
his 15 Yuri and if I remember correctly
I don’t remember the exact year but all
I remember is he said he saw that woman
that he was so obsessed by I was looking
forward to seeing her and now he was
Garth Brooks and he met her and after he
met her and spent some time with her he
wrote a song called thank God for
unanswered prayers sometimes not getting
your blueprints the best thing that ever
happened because the disappointment
drives you to find something more
important
side of you or not getting it makes you
look for another aspect of your life a
spiritual aspect of a family aspect a
physical aspect if you can just trust
that life doesn’t happen to you it
happens for you then you can find in any
situation a benefit that can take your
life to the next level I don’t care if
you’re Frank and Christian I don’t care
if you’re you know Mandy and Scott I
don’t care if you’re Joaquin and Kim
every one of us in our life is gonna fee
feels like we have total trauma
something that’s been taken from us the
real question is what are you gonna do
with it some people just live in the
story of what they don’t have and they
have the right to do that the Frank and
Chris them lived in pain and felt bad
we’d all say they have the right to do
it
it’s the difference doing what you have
the right to do and what you deserve to
give yourself and others we have the
ability to transcend whatever happens to
us there’s something called
post-traumatic growth very few people
know about it – people go through the
same stress one’s destroyed the other
grows what’s the difference the people
that grow will not give up they don’t
have any excuses they find the way to
break through whatever it takes and when
they do three things happen number one
they realize who they really are and
what they’re capable of they realize
there’s so much stronger than they
thought they were and number two they
deepen all their relationships you want
to know who really cares about you who
you love and who loves you go through
some tragedy go through some hard times
all your Facebook friends go away your
real friends your real family shows up
for you and you show up for them and it
deepens your relationships and the third
thing happens if you can push yourself
through and break through whatever
challenges life gives you is each time
you ever break through you get stronger
and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you we’re
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore cuz
after you’ve been through a stroke after
you’ve been through you know losing the
use of some of your body or senses after
you lose a family member and you break
through to that you get to the other
side it’s like give me your best shot
life it’s almost like there’s this
psychological immune
it says I’m ready for whatever life will
give me I don’t want challenges but if
they’re here I know I can handle them
that strength of spirit is what creates
a sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly and never ending feeling you
a way to improve yourself and to help
others that’s my mission and if we can
serve you again in the future
I hope you’ll check us out there’s three
ways you can continue to participate
with us you can come to an event come
have an experience with us live in a
weekend at our unleash the power within
or our date with destinies I think
you’ll find it’s very different than
just sitting here talking to you quietly
sitting in front of your computer screen
it’s a rock’n’roll environment it’s like
going to the ballpark and having one
person sitting there talking to you
versus being in the ball park or the
rock and roll concert you know with
50,000 there’s an energy and a power
that comes from its second is there’s
immersion here we talked for an hour
there’s distractions and emails there
it’s too little focus and we go for
immersion we’re literally what we did
here over six weeks few little
conversations all that happens over and
over again multiple times a day you get
that shift so come to an event or call
up and get a coach we have people that
you can work with and have a free
coaching session to make sure it’s
really valuable for you but these are
people that can check in with you to
help make sure you break through you
make the changes you want to make and
your career your finances your body or
your motions or whatever area matters to
you and finally lastly and probably most
importantly every day you got to feed
your mind because every day most of us
are turning on you know some form of
news it shows up in our pocket and our
blackberries or iPods or iPhones I
should say it shows up you know on your
computer constantly it chases us in it
rarely does a good idea interrupt you
really what you have to do is pursue the
ideas pursue the experiences they’re
gonna change your life and we have a way
to do it called net time no extra time a
way where you can keep feeding your mind
the stuff that really matters with some
products or services so if you’re
interested in any of those things be
sure to click on your interest of an
event or interest in having a free
coaching session or maybe try one of our
audio programs because the other
challenge here is with video got to sit
here potentially and watch me but with
audio you can do it while you’re working
out you can do it while you’re cleaning
the house
can do it while you’re driving in the
car are you getting to work we’d love to
continue serving you in any way we can I
know I’ve gone wrong in this session but
I really want you to think about how can
I get my life the way I want it to be
the way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a life thank you for the
time that we spent together here I’ve
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this break do series remind you to never
settle for less than you can be never
settle for less than you can give or you
can share live strong live with passion and god bless
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