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To Make Your Life Better First You Must Understand This | Srikumar Rao


can you think of anything that happened
in your life that at the time it
happened you thought this is terrible
but you can now look back upon it and
say gee that was actually pretty good so
if something happened to you in the past
that at the time it happened you thought
was terrible but you can now look back
and say it is actually pretty good why
are you in a hurry to label anything
that happens now bad is there any
possible way in which in X years it
could turn out to be pretty good just
pausing to consider that question will
take you to a different emotional domain
and if you then take the next step and
say is there anything I can do to make
that happen you move into a realm of
possibility and courses of action will
open up to you that you never would have
considered before we from a very young
parents teachers coaches all told us set
a goal for yourself and then come up
with a plan of action to achieve your
goal all of the companies I work with
have goals in fact most of the companies
I work with no longer have goals they
so we tend to live our lives in the
following fashion I set a goal for
myself I succeeded life’s a blast I set
a goal for myself I failed life sucks we
live in a sinusoidal curve oscillating
between elation and despair and we spend
altogether too much part-time at the
despair end of the spectrum it’s a
terrible way to live there is an
alternative an alternative is the
following forget about the goal goals
are important but they are only
important because they set direction
once the direction has been set forget
about the goals don’t even think about
them instead for all of your emotional
energy into what do I have to accomplish
what do I have to do in order to achieve
my goal and pour your emotional energy
into that when you do that two things
happen you actually start enjoying the
journey the journey is the only thing
they have the destination is a mirage
you get there and then you’re off
someplace else people want to climb
Mount Everest how much time do you spend
on top of Mount Everest
a few minutes to a half-hour at most you
climb up there your buddy takes a
picture of you your buddy gets up there
you take a picture of him and then
you’re on your way down and I hope you
don’t get killed in an avalanche so if
you’re going to climb Mount Everest you
better enjoy the weeks and months of
acclimatization on Basecamp one base
camp to and on with it’s the journey is
the only thing you have and when you
invest in the process not the outcome
you enjoy the journey and paradoxically
the more you’re detached from the
outcome the higher the probability that
you will actually reach the goal you
wanted and if you reach the goal
wonderful if you do not reach the goal
wonderful the mistake that all of us
make that all of us buy into is that the
benefit of this approach is then we will
reach our goal the reason we try very
hard is so that we can reach our goals
and if we don’t succeed you know it’s be
screwed up it’s terrible
Falls remember what I said earlier you
do not have control over the outcome you
never had control you never will have
control the benefit of this approach is
the advantage for you the benefit you
get is the growth that happens when you
try your best to achieve the goal that
you set for yourself whether or not you
reach it really doesn’t matter you have
already benefited from the growth that
occurs in you as you go that is what we
miss out it’s not about achieving the
goal it’s about how you develop as a
person and grow as you try your level
best and you do that by investing in the
process not the outcome Einstein said
the most important decision you’ll ever
make is is the universe friendly most of
us believe that the universe is
indifferent to us it doesn’t know we
exist and couldn’t care less some of the
times in seems to be working for us some
of the times it seems to be working
against us some of the times it’s
actively working against us so if we are
driving and we’re late for an
appointment
it will arrange for a traffic jam and
for our air conditioning to break down
but what if that wasn’t true what if the
universe was actually benevolent one if
it not only knew you existed but was
well disposed towards you now friends
don’t shaft friends do they
No so if it was the benevolent universe
it actively gives you exactly what you
need for your growth it may not be what
you want but it is exactly what you need
just as if you’re a small child what you
want is a tub of ice cream and what your
parents give you are fruits and
vegetables you don’t want fruits and
vegetables you want ice cream and it’s
only when you have a much greater
maturity and understanding that you can
say thank God I got fruits and
vegetables and not ice cream
what if the universe was like that it
gives you stuff it’s not what you wanted
you want to get promoted you get a pink
slip but maybe what if this was exactly
what you needed at this stage regardless
of whether or not the universe is
benevolent if you believe the universe
was benevolent your life would improve
dramatically
now just because you recognize that a
model is intellectually superior doesn’t
necessarily mean that you can adopt it
but you can work towards it and one of
the quickest ways to find out if the
universe is benevolent or not is look
for evidence that it is and the more you
look the more you will find and
eventually you will come to the point
where you will tip over
and you will believe the universe is
benevolent and when you do that you’ll
be living in a completely different
emotional domain so there was a young
man who was growing up to take his place
among the atoms of the tribe and the
final rite of passage was a colonization
that the medicine man and the medicine
man told him here is this dog loving
trustworthy kind intelligent and here is
this wolf melville and vicious cruel
ready to strike at anything and the dog
and the wolf for fighting and the dog
and the wolf are both inside you
and the brave was which one will win and
the medicine man says whichever one you
feel now think about that this has a
powerful lesson for us inside each one
of us is an altruistic let me help my
fellow man and do what I can to make the
world a better place
and inside each one of us are let me
grab everything I can for myself and the
devil take the hindmost impulses and the
two are always at war with each other it
is your job to selectively identify and
feed the dog in you don’t make the
mistake of thinking you’re only gonna
feed the dog that ain’t gonna happen the
best you can hope for is that you’ll
feed the dog a little bit more than you
feed the wolf but when you do that and
the dog becomes stronger it’s also your
job to selectively identify and feed the
dog and everybody you run into and when
the dog in you becomes friends with the
dog and the other person magic happens
in your life and in the world [Music]
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