if you don’t like to live themselves in
the mirror that’s the hardest thing to
do you know it’s just to critique
yourself rather than pointing a finger
you know and then everybody hates change
so to actually do that and say I’m wrong
in a lot of areas I look at myself in
the mirror and I’m saying wrong in a lot
of Eros it takes a lot of willpower you
didn’t saying so it start with self
first at 18 I was really fortunate when
I met a monk and this monk was invited
to speak and I kind of just went because
one of my friends forced me to at that
time I was listening to CEOs and
entrepreneurs and business people and
marketers who who I thought that’s what
I was aspiring to be like and then I
hear this monk and he captivated me like
no one had ever captivated me before it
was like staring at the most beautiful
woman on the planet you know I was
completely fixated on him and his
message see we live in echo chambers
we’re just surrounded by the same
thinking how often do you bump into a
monk you know it just doesn’t happen you
don’t have no one has a dinner party and
goes oh yeah written by the monk you
know from a tower like the local monk
like no one ever does that
and so you meet people who are just like
us most of the time and we talk about
this in business all the time if you
want to be a billionaire spend time with
billionaires if you want to be a
millionaire spend time and millionaires
if you want to be a tech startup spend
time with you know that’s that’s the
common rhetoric that we hear all the
time but what if you want to find
purpose a master the mind there’s no one
better than a monk who’s mastered the
mind so for me the first step is just
opening yourself up to new experiences
and new role models because most of us
can’t see ourselves in people so then we
try and fit ourselves into the boxes
that we do see and and I mean there’s
this beautiful quote that I’ve been
saying it everywhere and I wish I wrote
it but I didn’t so it’s by a philosopher
and writer named Cooley and he said that
today I’m not what I think I am I’m not
what you think I am I am what I think
you think I am I understand that blow
your mind for now it’s so powerful I
know what I think I am I’m not what you
think I am
I am what I think you think I am so we
live in this perception of a perception
of ourselves
hence my identity is made by what my
parents think I should be my identity is
made up by what my college or university
thinks I should achieve while you’re
living in that bubble and that echo
chamber getting to what you really want
to do is impossible because maybe that
just doesn’t fit and I think so many
people feel that way today but they
don’t fit into the current education
system they don’t fit with the three or
four or five careers that you’re taught
exist so that process of self excavation
and actualization first requires being
exposed you can’t be what you can’t see
if I never saw a monk I would never have
wanted to be a monk if I never meet a
billionaire I wouldn’t want to be one
because I wouldn’t know what that feels
like I don’t know what it looks like I
don’t know what it takes and and I think
that’s the biggest challenge of our
society that we’re not exposed so that’s
the first step being exposed to unique
experiences and role models second step
is finding that experience or role model
that you’re passionate about exactly
like you said taking it seriously shadow
the network with them to spend time with
them observe them even from afar it
takes that observation being addicted to
observing that person’s lifestyle and
then the third step is going yes or no
does that work for me not everyone who’s
gonna go up from the camera monk is
gonna feel like the way I did and that’s
cool
but not everyone is gonna go and follow
and shadow a billion anger that’s
exactly the lifestyle I want they may
want the result but do they want the
hard work that goes with it and so for
me that’s the third step it’s observing
focusing shadowing getting as close to
the process of that individual and then
going yes or no do I want that process
not do I want the result everyone’s to
be that monk who’s fully enlightened you
know can walk through as an incredible
or that people just gravitate towards
but when you realize he has to wake up
at 2:00 a.m. every day and sleeps about
4 to 6 hours you like that you know I
don’t want to do that doesn’t sound like
me and one of the reasons why I think
I’ve been successful is because I didn’t
care if I cared I probably would be too
scared to promote people that
people don’t want to promote you know it
takes fearlessness to be first you know
to not move with a crowd to move alone
you know and you get scrutinized by
people that do move with a crowd because
they got to make you look bad to make
themselves look good it’s all part of
the game it’s like a guy that’s in high
school that gets all the girls the rest
of the dudes hate him in high school so
my whole life has been being that guy in
high school that everyone hates because
I keep taking their girls good
understand that it’s not a bad life so
that’s how I look at it but the price of
success is unsuccessful people don’t
like you who cares right successful
people don’t care about what another
person is doing because accessible
people want everybody else does diseases
exactly that’s my no that’s this whole
mindset that people don’t understand
right so it’s usually a bunch of
unsuccessful bitter bitter people and
you know I was a guy in school that you
know was got kicked out of every school
I was the class clown you know I wasn’t
the guy that you would traditionally
think would be go this far so me making
it made all my teachers look stupid
every principal that kicked me out of
school looks stupid you know I went to
South Kent in Connecticut on scholarship
I didn’t come back the next year the
next time I came back was on a
helicopter and I landed it on the soccer
field you know when I got kicked out of
Dwight in the seventh grade you know my
son came back and they were asking me
you know I put my son Doody I paid full
tuition plus extras for tutoring and
they asked me to build a library I’m
like the same principal that kicked me
out is asking me to build a library so
it’s egg on all their faces you know my
success makes a lot of people look like
they were wrong because a lot of people
articulated the fact that I wouldn’t be
what I am today
and either way either way I didn’t care
but I think it’s kind of funny it’s egg
all over they face scramble I’d like you
to fast forward to 70 80 90 years old
right fast forward in your mind to that
age 70 80 90 100 110 if you’re really
optimistic whichever one it is and I’d
like you to write down what will be the
things that you’ll regret that you
didn’t do imagine you’re that age ask
yourself the question what would I
regret that I didn’t do know what you
did do but what you didn’t do write it
down make a long list right now get a
pen and paper out and write it down
don’t do on your phone don’t do in your
laptop actually get a pen
and write down your answers and what
will be the things that you regret that
you didn’t do right really think about
it will it be you know learning a new
language will it be moving home will it
be telling someone you love them what
will it be what would have been write it
down right now
now the incredible thing about this
question is that you’re using the future
to empower the past whatever answer you
have in that question whatever your
answer is you can do it right now today
starting today because you’re not that
agent and if you’re even if you’re 64
and you’re tuning in 70 80 90 you’re
still there right it’s still possible
you can start doing that right now it’s
empowering the present with the future
there is nothing stopping you from
making it happen right now you don’t
have to feel that way when you’re 70 you
don’t have to feel that way when you’re
80 you never ever have to feel that way
if you start doing it right now and you
can do it right now
even if it feels impossible you can
start working on it right now you can
start trying right now you can start
making plans right now because you’re
not there yet and this is where you
start this is where you start making it
happen it’s all in than now in August of
87
we had 11 stores and a hundred employees
in a dream to create a national retail
company around the coffee experience
good coffee in America but there was
another dream I had and that was to
build a different type of company a
company that potentially could achieve
the delicate balance between
profitability and the fiscal
responsibility of building shareholder
value but the balance of also having a
heart benevolence and integrating a
social conscience in everything the
company would do and hopefully one day
remember this was 87 the company would
be known as much for its values its
culture its guiding principles as it
would the quality of its coffee fast
forward from 87 to 89 and 80 and 1990
the company was beginning to get some
traction we had about 50 stores we still
were not making money
and I think we all realize at the time
that we were not in the coffee business
serving people but we were in the people
business serving coffee that if we
wanted to exceed the expectations of the
customer we had to first exceed the
expectations of our people we made a
very important strategic decision early
on that franchising could not maintain
the culture and values of the company
that all it would be would be an access
to cheap capital and so we continued on
track of opening and building a company
own system it’s incredible that we root
for underdogs it’s incredible that we
want underdogs to win why because we’re
used to wanting our team to win we’re
used to wanting the best to win we’re
used to wanting to associate ourselves
with people who are successful right
we never go oh yeah I know someone who
plays for that really bad team like we
don’t say that right we say things like
oh I know so many place without really
good team I know someone who was MVP I
know someone who’s the son or the
daughter of the MVP we try and associate
or link ourselves to success and when we
do that it in turn makes us feel more
successful it’s one of the reasons why
when your team wins you say we won right
you say we won but when someone asks you
or how did your team do and if they lost
that day you say they lost you rarely
say we lost it’s incredible how
psychologically we distance ourselves
from failure and we close and or liken
ourselves to success but the exception
to that rule is the underdog we all get
excited by underdogs we all get
motivated by underdogs we feel
completely enamored by the story of the
underdog prashant underdogs are just
simple-minded they don’t have
expectations and don’t have anything to
prove to anybody and poor Shawn you’ve
just hit the nail on the head that’s the
principle I’m trying to get across
actually we should play like champions
and train like underdogs why because the
underdog works in a way not worrying
about what anybody else thinks or
believes that gives you an edge
gives you a phenomenal advantage when
you’re actually worried about what will
people say when you’re not concerned by
am I going to fail am I going to look
worse is what I’m doing not going to
succeed as an underdog you don’t let
those things cloud your mind you can
focus in on the task at hand see when we
become successful even as underdogs if
we’ve risen to success the biggest enemy
of that success the biggest Achilles
heel the biggest thing that can trip us
up is not only connecting to that
feeling of an underdog so no matter how
much success you’ve achieved no matter
where you are always remind yourself the
mindset of an underdog is the mindset
that nurtures talent that nurtures
success that harnesses your true
potential as such the people whether
it’s on stage or in the podcast or
anything is that you know we are more
even sold this lie that people are
taught through school like when I do
these demos and I understand stage
memorize hundred names and words and
numbers forwards and backwards and it
appears effortlessly I always tell
people I don’t do this impress you I do
this to express to you what’s really
possible because the truth is everyone
can do is to and so much more
apply towards creativity and focus and
flow and problem-solving and thinking
and and really overcoming the biggest
challenges of their life and maybe even
the the world the challenges we were
taught a lot we were taught a lie that
somehow our intelligence our potential
are learning or memories somehow is
fixed our creativity is fixed our
thinking is fixed like our shoe size and
what we’ve discovered you know as you
know more vehement about brain science
in the past two decades we discovered
more than the previous two thousand
years and what we know is that we’re
grossly under estimating its capacity to
be able to grow to be able to contribute
to improve our intelligence and our
influence and our impact and I’m really
I want to kind of pull the veil behind
and just say hey this is about
transcending you know this is about
ending the trance ending the trance that
you’re that we’re not good enough you
know that we’re not smart enough that we
you’re not this genius and and telling
the truth and then and the truth is
people could we’re faster and we’re
smarter than we think and not just to be
able to rote memorize things but be able
to really solve significant challenges
and maybe that these challenges that
we’re going through or the lessons that
we need to to learn the most and then
some people who learn those lessons feel
compelled to be able to share that voice
by daily practice is to refine my
intention that the biggest weeds that we
all get is an eye intention so when I
say intention I mean my current
intention is to use everything I’ve been
given everything that I have in the
service of others so I want to use the
following that I have to help people I
want to use the money that I have to
help people I want to use the network
that I have to help people but every day
that intention which is a beautiful
little plant that’s growing gets weeds
around it no do it for the money right –
for the faith just do it for the fame do
it for the followers do it for this all
these weeds are like going around my
real intention every day every day
that’s a weed a weed is the intention
that you don’t want and the problem is
sometimes you’ve let it grow so much the
weed looks like the plant right weed
looks like your intention and you start
believing it’s the same thing
so for me my daily practice is going
back in reflecting on what is my voice
right now in my head what am i saying to
myself and I’m hearing make that deal it
makes a lot of money do this do that do
this more followers Fame all that stuff
and I’m cutting it down I’m cutting that
weed every day and you got to do it
every day because the more you’re
surrounded by that energy right the more
it’s gonna keep creeping in like a
only way you can make it especially in
our business the entertainment industry
that you know you can’t be an honorable
honest hard-working person you’ve got to
be willing to do whatever it takes
regardless of how you compromise your
own ethics to get to wherever it is you
want to get and I’ve never believed that
and it doesn’t sound like you believe it
either
now you know I don’t consider that a win
I consider that cheating and I can’t
live with myself I don’t play the game
right but other people don’t like to go
into different cultures and especially
in business it’s like go you got to win
any way you can if somebody’s slipping
and you don’t take advantage of it
you’re dishonouring your family like
I’ve been in cultures like that mm-hmm
you know we’re lying is okay for your
business you know you’re supposed to do
that or else you’re a sucker so you know
it’s just a matter of perspective and
the cloth you’re cut from and you know
it’s a rougher world when everyone is
cheating and you’re playing the game
right you know it’s a tough world but at
the end of the day it’s worth it because
you know there’s nothing more valuable
than your soul your integrity your
freedom you know just being proud of
yourself I just don’t feel like you know
when you you can’t call yourself a
winner if you’re cheating you know
you’re a cheater you know it’s just how
I feel and you might not get caught in
the human form but God will get you you
so how do I find my passion my simple
model which is the Dharma model it also
dharma means eternal duty in the Vedic
tradition it’s very similar to what yoga
is being spoken about today which is a
Japanese version of reason for being why
do we live where is meaning coming from
and it talks about an intersect of four
areas what am I good at what do I love
what is the world need and how do I get
paid for it
to me those four help you unlock your
passion when you find the intersect
across all of those four you’re making
your passion your purpose you’ll unlock
your passion you’ll find your purpose
this is path one there’s two paths path
one I find my skill set and I engage it
to help other people and become better
at it so I’m becoming better what I’m
good at
and I’m using it to help other people
because I’m aware of what I’m quite good
at and I know what more knowledge I have
what skills I have I have some
self-awareness the other path that
people often miss is actually I just
start serving people I just start
helping people and I start to notice
what I enjoy about that and what I’m
good at helping people with so that’s
Gandhi’s path Gandhi said that you find
yourself when you lose yourself in the
service of others so for me those are
the two paths of how do I find my
passion and finding the intersect
between those four areas always
understood that there really was no
difference between me in the audience at
times I might have had better shoes but
at the core the core of what really
matters that we are the same you know
how I know that because all of us are
seeking the same thing you’re here at
this fabulous school and we’ll go out
into the world and each pursue based
upon what you believe your talents are
what your skills are maybe your gifts
are but you’re seeking the same thing
everybody wants to fulfill the highest
truest expression of yourself as a human
being that’s what you’re looking for
the highest truest expression of
yourself as a human being and because I
understand that I understand that if
you’re working in a bakery and that’s
where you want to be and that may be
that may be what you always wanted to do
is to bake pies for people or bake cakes
for people or to offer your gift then
then that’s that’s for you and there’s
no difference between you and me except
that’s how that’s your platform that’s
your show every day so my understanding
of that has allowed me to you know
everyone to reach everyone and and
there’s no way that you wouldn’t because
that’s that’s what I truly feel have to
remind yourself that it’s okay to feel
the way you feel when you’re going for a
difficult time it’s okay to feel weak
it’s okay to want to cry it’s okay to
feel overwhelmed just reminding yourself
that it’s okay this is my number one way
of how to find strength in difficult
times is reminding yourself that the way
you feel is okay to honor that feeling
to accept that feeling to actually be
okay with that what we see or what we
perceive to be a weakness or what we
perceive to let us down or what we
perceive is a sign of you know
instability or insecurity we’ve got to
remind ourselves that when things are
tough it’s okay to feel that way there’s
nothing wrong with that any difficulty I
go to I look to moments in history where
people have endured the same pain if not
more extreme and analyze absorb and
connect with how they got through it I
like to see what they were thinking I
like to see what they did I like to see
how they structured themselves I like to
look at how they organized I looked like
to look at who they were speaking to I
like to look at what was going through
their mind at that time because you’ve
got to remember that any challenge we’re
facing today we’ve faced it before as a
as humanity right beyond ethnicities
beyond color race creed beyond
backgrounds beyond all walks of life as
human beings we’ve been through
challenges before and we’ve got through
them and therefore reconnecting with how
that’s been done before
is a beautiful way of learning how to
overcome current challenges so you can
either look at your past but real wisdom
lies in looking at the past the people
who made a difference you look at people
like Martin Luther King you look at
people like Gandhi you look at people
who made world-changing differences not
single-handedly but influenced from a
single perspective from a single point
of view and really connecting with the
powerful moments in history I’ve said
this quote many times I’ve read it many
times and this quote actually is is
unbelievable and the quote says that
they fought they buried us they didn’t
know we were seeds right it’s a Mexican
proverb they thought they borrowed us
they didn’t know we were seeds and I was
thinking these when you tell yourself
that story
you start thinking much more differently
right a seed is buried – it’s incredible
that the seed goes through the same
process as anything else it’s put deep
underground right all of this mud is put
on top of it it gets rained on it gets
snowed on all these kind of things but
it knows that it’s a seed so it knows
that it can grow so there anything’s
possible and it grows through and you
see even plants growing through concrete
sometimes right it’s unbelievable how
much power a seed has so changing the
stories we tell ourselves we can either
look at challenging situations as
opportunities for growth as an
opportunity to learn as an opportunity
to change be the change we can look at
them and and really fool down now that
that second part is ok we can even feel
like that right but we have to recognize
it’s not permanent
we’ve gotta accept that none of our
feelings are permanent they don’t need
to be permanent it’s a choice so if you
need to vent then I was saying to
someone yesterday if you need a vent
vent if you need to run run if you need
to complain complain if you need to
share how you feel do that but recognize
that those feelings are not permanent
and it’ll be amazing when we realized we
are seeds right that is the most
powerful way of finding strength all
right you do a lot and it’s all relative
you know what I mean like the first time
I heard a record on the radio I was
excited the first time I saw my video on
television I was excited the first time
I saw a movie at a theatrical level it
was very excited you know
first times of anything are exciting and
I tend to have a lot of first times you
know what I’m saying yeah that’s
absolutely incredible so I try to
recreate that first time feeling by
doing new things you know traveling the
world is important opening up art
galleries all over the world has been
fun
you know opened up an art gallery in
Hong Kong was dope as well as Charleston
as well as the Lower East Side as well
as Tribeca all of those first times
we’re great you know I’m saying and
being in different neighborhoods moving
and not being scared to you know have
growing pains and thanks to that nature
so it’s all been really fun it’s been a
blast so in an ideal life for me is a
life and this applies to a company and
organization and institution for me is
an ideal life is when we all have a head
a heart and a hand all three elements
together working in alignment without
one or the other we start to lose
something if you only ever had in a
heart you’ll find that life is stable
and defined yes yeah sure sure sure sure
so ahead is the clarity of vision what
you want what you want knowing what you
want the way you picture life and being
able to navigate make the decisions
together that’s a good head a good heart
is being able to understand what your
intuition and heart ones being able to
connect and tap into that understanding
deeper and beyond the vision you may
have painted for yourself so I often say
to people that you get to where you want
in life just not in the way you imagined
and that’s because the path that’s paved
up and down is far different to the path
we pave so you can have a great head and
a great vision and a great mission and
know where you want to go but if your
hearts not able to have that resilience
and be able to adapt and and have
compassion and care and all of that then
then you’re not going to be able to make
the toughest decisions without your
heart but to be able to realize that we
need to care and be sustainable and
long-lasting requires a heart and a hand
is that service wanting to pass that on
that which you have wanting to give it
forward pay it forward the idea of
serving with what you
I often say to people your passion is
for you your purpose is for others your
passion makes you happy but when you use
your passion to make a difference in
someone else’s life that’s a service
that’s a purpose and that’s the hand so
those are my three elements of an ideal
life I say to that my girls all of the
time that your real work is to figure
out where your power base is and to work
on the alignment of your personality
your gifts that you have to give with
the real reason why you’re here that’s
that’s the number one thing you have to
do is to work on yourself and to fill
your self up and keep your cup full keep
yourself full now I used to be afraid of
that I used to be afraid particularly
from people who say hello she said she
stopped telling her family or something
and now I embrace it I considered a
compliment that I am full of myself
because you only when you’re full I’m
full I’m overflowing my cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it one
of the things that when things don’t
work out one of the things I’ve been
telling myself and also thinking about a
lot is apart from the fact of learning
which we’ll go into is just that space
I’m actually understanding that there
may be a different route see we get so
attached to having one route one method
one way of working we believe that
there’s only one pathway to where we
want to be there’s this conveyor belt of
things we have to do whether it’s you
know get a degree find a partner buy a
house you know play golf whatever it is
like this conveyor belt of efficiency
and productivity that we hear that
becomes a part of our natural
progression and when that breaks apart
that’s when we start to worry that’s
when we start to think but nodes
then actually it’s a lot better when
that happens earlier in life see regret
has some really important roles the
first one is that it helps us make sense
of the world from our perspective for
one of the first time see most of us
have spent our lives learning what’s
important to us based on maybe what
families what what communities to what
parents to what education to whatever it
is when you start regretting something
new thing you did something wrong when
you start thinking that I could have
done something differently you’re making
sense of the world from your perspective
it’s crazy how powerful this is right
you’re starting to make sense of the
world from your perspective the second
thing is it allows you to avoid future
negative behavior if you know you
regretted something why don’t you write
it down right now right if you regret
something write it down right now
because it will teach you so much in the
future you’ve got to write down the
lesson you learn now otherwise next time
when you think you’re making another
tough decision you’re gonna say to
yourself Oh what did I do last time how
did I not make myself regret that and
then you’re gonna be upset you’re gonna
regret that you didn’t write it down so
write it down right now
the way through the challenge is to get
still and ask yourself what is the next
right move not think about it oh I got
all of this stuff what is the next right
move and then from that space make the
next right move and the next right move
and not to be overwhelmed by it because
you know your life is bigger than that
one moment you know you’re not defined
by what somebody says is a failure for
you because failure is just there to
point you in a different direction say
everyone uses a search engine like
Google every single day but a lot of
people they use it 10 times a day if I
ask them are you willing to bet your
life you know what colors the letters
are because that’s that’s an observation
you know there’s difference between
looking at something and seeing you
really seeing it there’s difference
between hearing something and really
listening
you know like leaders like for example I
had this whole escapade with the x-men
which was insane but I had to leave the
the set because there I had to go to a
charity event and one of the people that
I think the leaders the independent of
your political bent who has an
incredible memory as President Clinton
every single time I’ve met President
Clinton he’s remembered my name you know
what he does and how many people does
he’s married to them yes you how many
people does Clinton meet on a regular
basis right and so that’s a leadership
skill though right and so FDR was
incredible with names also he would walk
around the White House and point people
out and say hi to them say saying hi to
their spouse and using by name I mean
that’s cuz I think about the sweetest
sound of person’s ears right America’s
their name yeah I reckon said so anyway
I asked him what’s memory tricky uses he
uses no memory tricks at all and he
tells me this you know the main story
yes and so he tells me this incredible
story about how he knows his grandfather
you know in Arkansas and to get all the
kids around tell stories to them but
then he would quiz them they’d really
need to listen to be present and it’s
funny because I noticed that like he’s
Bill Clinton is Anna cardless Authority
how you feel politically incredible
communicator yeah incredible charisma
incredible connector right
and he also this memory I find he’s this
incredible presence this powerful
presence but I find that his powerful
presence and his memory comes from being
powerfully present his powerful presence
comes from being powerfully the
president and here’s the thing when
people are networking because I know a
lot of people there’s they’re
entrepreneurs or social entrepreneurs
and littles and they’re going out there
meeting people because really it’s it’s
what you know and it’s who you know
but that’s all memory what you know claw
people go to seminar two days later
they’ll forget everything right 80%
there’s a big fur ganker but also who
you know and who knows you right but
what are the challenges is they’ll be
networking and how many times do you
find yourself talking somebody and then
looking over their shoulder
yeah he would people to tell you that
it’s like annoying cuz you’re
distracting yourself at all times more
if you’re not just dragging yourself
externally you’re like talking to
yourself
what am I gonna say Mayer exactly so the
people aren’t even listening now this is
so key when people are communicating
most of the times you find that they’re
not even really listening what they are
is they’re thinking about how they’re
gonna respond yeah you know and if you
look at the word listen and you
sprayable the letters it becomes the
word silent no yeah it’s an expert
people would just do that mark
zuckerberg said it brilliantly at
harvard he was saying that finding your
purpose isn’t enough you have to help
other people find this and I know you’re
passionate about this whatever that
definition is but it has to lead
everyone so if I’m whether I meet a
celebrity and entrepreneur or whether I
meet somebody starting out I’m always
asking them this question how can you
use what you have to make a difference
in the life of other people yeah because
if you start there everything else will
work out but if you’re starting from the
point of what am I gonna get then you’re
always gonna feel disconnected and I see
that I see people who live like that and
feel pain in their lives every day I see
that it’s not like some conceptual
philosophy we see it I see people who
are only in it for themselves and they
feel disconnected dissatisfied every
single day and then you see the other
extreme where people are just rying to
give too much more than they even have
themselves and they also feel
disconnected and again nothing at all
nothing at all right so we know again
attachment and aversion two sides of the
same coin
mm-hmm so we want to be in that dynamic
balance of growth but always to give
yeah so I always think how can I go
three steps deeper so that I can move
three steps forward so I can give three
times as much right it’s all that’s
always my mentality how do I go deeper
to go more forward to give more yeah and
if I can get those and three in action
for that reason see it’s what about the
reasoning you can do anything you like
but it’s why are you doing it worse a
lot of us on circumstances when you
starting
ain’t no plan B gotta work don’t
work what’s gonna happen you know so if
you’re in that point in position you go
what’s working and you start to get
influenced so you sway to what’s
actually working at the moment and your
music changes and starts to sound a
little bit like what’s happening on the
radio right now I’ve heard demo tapes
from ten different little Wayne’s there
wasn’t Lil Wayne you know that’s just
sound like what you do and then it stuff
like how do you say that it’s not good
if was working right now is that you
know I’m saying so you go and like it
it’s good but it’s hard for me to really
embrace it because you ain’t Lil Wayne
what do you want me to invest the money
into the copy almost 30 and I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything in life
I made a promise to myself while I was a
university that I would get a job that
excites me every morning but right now
I’m afraid I’m not going in that
direction that note was written by a
young person and when I read it my heart
sank
I felt that way because I know so many
people that are in that exact position I
remember when I decided to trade my
nine-to-five for a 24-7 it was because I
wanted to do something that was
meaningful every day I wanted to do
something that was purposeful and
fulfilling from the moment I woke up to
the moment I went to sleep the one thing
I didn’t know before I started is how
achievable that was but also what it
required when I transitioned from my
nine-to-five or actually my 9:00 to 9:00
to her 24/7 I realized that I was going
to have to work harder smarter and
faster and that step was full of fear
full of anxiety full of insecurities
full of questions like what will happen
if it doesn’t work what will people say
should I just have stayed where I was I
went through all of those emotion
all at the same time and then something
came to me I wrote down the various
options that I had in life at the time
and I wrote a word above them that I
believe summarized the experience or the
result of what I thought that would give
me some of them said ego because I
thought those career paths would give me
a boost to my ego some said security
because they were certain roles with
jobs I could take that would provide a
certain level of financial security and
then one path said the word love because
I knew if I did that that I would love
every moment even if it was truly
challenging and sometimes really
difficult to deal with and that’s why
I’m here today making this video
speaking to all of you because I chose
the path that had the word love above it
try that exercise try that activity out
to try and differentiate the motive the
intention behind what you’re choosing
and selecting in life no just because
you choose the word love doesn’t mean
that everything’s gonna be smooth
sailing and are you going to be
successful it’s going to have its own
ups and downs and that’s why wherever
you go with your heart take your head
with you so I quit my job
comfy corporate job doing really well
for myself and I’m trying to get into
media and so I’m writing to every big
media company with before my videos and
saying please give me a job like I’ll
come in like a video journalist salary I
was looking at salaries that like a
quarter of what I made I was like I
don’t care about the money I want to
make videos and I want to spread a
message I’m getting rejection email
after rejection email saying Jay you
never studied media Jay you have no
background so I’m getting rejected by
all the biggest companies
Business Insider HuffPost The Economist
wired you name it I’ve got all the
emails and then I try and network with
the editors of these magazines so I find
out where they are I go to the events I
try and talk to them and they like to me
hey man you’re like 28 years old why do
you want to do this you make more money
right now hang in the corporate world do
it as a hobby I remember running after
one of our biggest news anchors in
England called John snow and he rides a
biker in London please like he’s huge is
on channel 4 one of the biggest
broadcasters for us her and so I’ve run
off to him when he’s on his bike and I’m
like John please please stop and he
stops he’s really kind I said John can
you please give me a job I’ll just I
don’t want to get paid I’ll just watch
you and I because he creates these
powerful documentaries he’s interviewed
the best of the best line
dala and all this time life-changing
conversations and he goes to me he gives
me a card and he goes J go get a masters
in median and come back I’m thinking
it’s one two three more years yeah
exactly I’m gonna go back like Andy so I
came to a point where I literally had no
other option than to start a YouTube
channel and and my honest limiting
belief at the time was that doesn’t work
for anyone and that’s what I said to
myself as well it’s not gonna work for
anyone but I literally had exhausted I
think it’s Thomas Edison who says when
you feel you’ve exhausted every option
remember you haven’t and I’d come to
that point where I felt I’d exhausted
every option
apart from starting a YouTube channel so
I launched the channel Jam 3rd 2016 two
years ago and it’s doing pretty well
home is if you have the greatest hammer
and the greatest screwdriver and the
greatest wrench the greatest in front of
you if you don’t use them properly you
will lose right if there’s a nail that I
have to put in that ground but I take
the wrench and I hit it when the hammer
was right there it still comes down to
the practitioner mm-hmm and you have to
be good at your craft and you have to
love your if you love sales if you don’t
love it you have no chance because it’s
so hard it’s so painful there’s so much
rejection right so those are the things
I think about
so technology’s clear neighborhoods you
just said there that the person is
equally important and more important
right and I just apologize for jumping
in but let me make it perfectly straight
if I go play Roger Federer right now in
tennis and I’m the greatest tennis
racket ever made
like from taken from the Mars is new
like resources right and he took a John
McEnroe 1974 tennis racket he would whip
my ass like I’m crushing sales people
that have every sales force every one of
your competitors 37 features upgraded
went to every pro conference watching
this I will beat their ass in sales
every day of the week your talent
there’s some pivotal moment for you in
your life where you just really got it
and and something happened a fire
ignited inside you that made it so that
you had all the moving parts to make
this amazing career unfold I think the
death of my mother probably got me
really focused and I understood that
there wasn’t gonna be anyone there to
take care of me had to take care of
myself and just out of respect for her
life and all the things she did to make
me a better person I had to apply all
those things so you know at like 17 my
mother died when I was 16 and 17 you
know I was running the streets so heavy
and it was getting it so critical then I
put myself in boarding school you know I
figured out how to get a scholarship and
because of the ability that my mother
gave me to articulate what’s on my mind
to read to write you know cannot be
afraid and also I was you know boxing so
I got went to the boys club and they
were given our scholarship for you know
you took a test I passed the test and
you know I made it and I was just always
able to put myself in a better place I
never let anybody else control my
destiny my mom taught me to make things
happen on my own not to depend on
anybody and if I have an opinion to speak on it
the mirror that’s the hardest thing to
do you know it’s just to critique
yourself rather than pointing a finger
you know and then everybody hates change
so to actually do that and say I’m wrong
in a lot of areas I look at myself in
the mirror and I’m saying wrong in a lot
of Eros it takes a lot of willpower you
didn’t saying so it start with self
first at 18 I was really fortunate when
I met a monk and this monk was invited
to speak and I kind of just went because
one of my friends forced me to at that
time I was listening to CEOs and
entrepreneurs and business people and
marketers who who I thought that’s what
I was aspiring to be like and then I
hear this monk and he captivated me like
no one had ever captivated me before it
was like staring at the most beautiful
woman on the planet you know I was
completely fixated on him and his
message see we live in echo chambers
we’re just surrounded by the same
thinking how often do you bump into a
monk you know it just doesn’t happen you
don’t have no one has a dinner party and
goes oh yeah written by the monk you
know from a tower like the local monk
like no one ever does that
and so you meet people who are just like
us most of the time and we talk about
this in business all the time if you
want to be a billionaire spend time with
billionaires if you want to be a
millionaire spend time and millionaires
if you want to be a tech startup spend
time with you know that’s that’s the
common rhetoric that we hear all the
time but what if you want to find
purpose a master the mind there’s no one
better than a monk who’s mastered the
mind so for me the first step is just
opening yourself up to new experiences
and new role models because most of us
can’t see ourselves in people so then we
try and fit ourselves into the boxes
that we do see and and I mean there’s
this beautiful quote that I’ve been
saying it everywhere and I wish I wrote
it but I didn’t so it’s by a philosopher
and writer named Cooley and he said that
today I’m not what I think I am I’m not
what you think I am I am what I think
you think I am I understand that blow
your mind for now it’s so powerful I
know what I think I am I’m not what you
think I am
I am what I think you think I am so we
live in this perception of a perception
of ourselves
hence my identity is made by what my
parents think I should be my identity is
made up by what my college or university
thinks I should achieve while you’re
living in that bubble and that echo
chamber getting to what you really want
to do is impossible because maybe that
just doesn’t fit and I think so many
people feel that way today but they
don’t fit into the current education
system they don’t fit with the three or
four or five careers that you’re taught
exist so that process of self excavation
and actualization first requires being
exposed you can’t be what you can’t see
if I never saw a monk I would never have
wanted to be a monk if I never meet a
billionaire I wouldn’t want to be one
because I wouldn’t know what that feels
like I don’t know what it looks like I
don’t know what it takes and and I think
that’s the biggest challenge of our
society that we’re not exposed so that’s
the first step being exposed to unique
experiences and role models second step
is finding that experience or role model
that you’re passionate about exactly
like you said taking it seriously shadow
the network with them to spend time with
them observe them even from afar it
takes that observation being addicted to
observing that person’s lifestyle and
then the third step is going yes or no
does that work for me not everyone who’s
gonna go up from the camera monk is
gonna feel like the way I did and that’s
cool
but not everyone is gonna go and follow
and shadow a billion anger that’s
exactly the lifestyle I want they may
want the result but do they want the
hard work that goes with it and so for
me that’s the third step it’s observing
focusing shadowing getting as close to
the process of that individual and then
going yes or no do I want that process
not do I want the result everyone’s to
be that monk who’s fully enlightened you
know can walk through as an incredible
or that people just gravitate towards
but when you realize he has to wake up
at 2:00 a.m. every day and sleeps about
4 to 6 hours you like that you know I
don’t want to do that doesn’t sound like
me and one of the reasons why I think
I’ve been successful is because I didn’t
care if I cared I probably would be too
scared to promote people that
people don’t want to promote you know it
takes fearlessness to be first you know
to not move with a crowd to move alone
you know and you get scrutinized by
people that do move with a crowd because
they got to make you look bad to make
themselves look good it’s all part of
the game it’s like a guy that’s in high
school that gets all the girls the rest
of the dudes hate him in high school so
my whole life has been being that guy in
high school that everyone hates because
I keep taking their girls good
understand that it’s not a bad life so
that’s how I look at it but the price of
success is unsuccessful people don’t
like you who cares right successful
people don’t care about what another
person is doing because accessible
people want everybody else does diseases
exactly that’s my no that’s this whole
mindset that people don’t understand
right so it’s usually a bunch of
unsuccessful bitter bitter people and
you know I was a guy in school that you
know was got kicked out of every school
I was the class clown you know I wasn’t
the guy that you would traditionally
think would be go this far so me making
it made all my teachers look stupid
every principal that kicked me out of
school looks stupid you know I went to
South Kent in Connecticut on scholarship
I didn’t come back the next year the
next time I came back was on a
helicopter and I landed it on the soccer
field you know when I got kicked out of
Dwight in the seventh grade you know my
son came back and they were asking me
you know I put my son Doody I paid full
tuition plus extras for tutoring and
they asked me to build a library I’m
like the same principal that kicked me
out is asking me to build a library so
it’s egg on all their faces you know my
success makes a lot of people look like
they were wrong because a lot of people
articulated the fact that I wouldn’t be
what I am today
and either way either way I didn’t care
but I think it’s kind of funny it’s egg
all over they face scramble I’d like you
to fast forward to 70 80 90 years old
right fast forward in your mind to that
age 70 80 90 100 110 if you’re really
optimistic whichever one it is and I’d
like you to write down what will be the
things that you’ll regret that you
didn’t do imagine you’re that age ask
yourself the question what would I
regret that I didn’t do know what you
did do but what you didn’t do write it
down make a long list right now get a
pen and paper out and write it down
don’t do on your phone don’t do in your
laptop actually get a pen
and write down your answers and what
will be the things that you regret that
you didn’t do right really think about
it will it be you know learning a new
language will it be moving home will it
be telling someone you love them what
will it be what would have been write it
down right now
now the incredible thing about this
question is that you’re using the future
to empower the past whatever answer you
have in that question whatever your
answer is you can do it right now today
starting today because you’re not that
agent and if you’re even if you’re 64
and you’re tuning in 70 80 90 you’re
still there right it’s still possible
you can start doing that right now it’s
empowering the present with the future
there is nothing stopping you from
making it happen right now you don’t
have to feel that way when you’re 70 you
don’t have to feel that way when you’re
80 you never ever have to feel that way
if you start doing it right now and you
can do it right now
even if it feels impossible you can
start working on it right now you can
start trying right now you can start
making plans right now because you’re
not there yet and this is where you
start this is where you start making it
happen it’s all in than now in August of
87
we had 11 stores and a hundred employees
in a dream to create a national retail
company around the coffee experience
good coffee in America but there was
another dream I had and that was to
build a different type of company a
company that potentially could achieve
the delicate balance between
profitability and the fiscal
responsibility of building shareholder
value but the balance of also having a
heart benevolence and integrating a
social conscience in everything the
company would do and hopefully one day
remember this was 87 the company would
be known as much for its values its
culture its guiding principles as it
would the quality of its coffee fast
forward from 87 to 89 and 80 and 1990
the company was beginning to get some
traction we had about 50 stores we still
were not making money
and I think we all realize at the time
that we were not in the coffee business
serving people but we were in the people
business serving coffee that if we
wanted to exceed the expectations of the
customer we had to first exceed the
expectations of our people we made a
very important strategic decision early
on that franchising could not maintain
the culture and values of the company
that all it would be would be an access
to cheap capital and so we continued on
track of opening and building a company
own system it’s incredible that we root
for underdogs it’s incredible that we
want underdogs to win why because we’re
used to wanting our team to win we’re
used to wanting the best to win we’re
used to wanting to associate ourselves
with people who are successful right
we never go oh yeah I know someone who
plays for that really bad team like we
don’t say that right we say things like
oh I know so many place without really
good team I know someone who was MVP I
know someone who’s the son or the
daughter of the MVP we try and associate
or link ourselves to success and when we
do that it in turn makes us feel more
successful it’s one of the reasons why
when your team wins you say we won right
you say we won but when someone asks you
or how did your team do and if they lost
that day you say they lost you rarely
say we lost it’s incredible how
psychologically we distance ourselves
from failure and we close and or liken
ourselves to success but the exception
to that rule is the underdog we all get
excited by underdogs we all get
motivated by underdogs we feel
completely enamored by the story of the
underdog prashant underdogs are just
simple-minded they don’t have
expectations and don’t have anything to
prove to anybody and poor Shawn you’ve
just hit the nail on the head that’s the
principle I’m trying to get across
actually we should play like champions
and train like underdogs why because the
underdog works in a way not worrying
about what anybody else thinks or
believes that gives you an edge
gives you a phenomenal advantage when
you’re actually worried about what will
people say when you’re not concerned by
am I going to fail am I going to look
worse is what I’m doing not going to
succeed as an underdog you don’t let
those things cloud your mind you can
focus in on the task at hand see when we
become successful even as underdogs if
we’ve risen to success the biggest enemy
of that success the biggest Achilles
heel the biggest thing that can trip us
up is not only connecting to that
feeling of an underdog so no matter how
much success you’ve achieved no matter
where you are always remind yourself the
mindset of an underdog is the mindset
that nurtures talent that nurtures
success that harnesses your true
potential as such the people whether
it’s on stage or in the podcast or
anything is that you know we are more
even sold this lie that people are
taught through school like when I do
these demos and I understand stage
memorize hundred names and words and
numbers forwards and backwards and it
appears effortlessly I always tell
people I don’t do this impress you I do
this to express to you what’s really
possible because the truth is everyone
can do is to and so much more
apply towards creativity and focus and
flow and problem-solving and thinking
and and really overcoming the biggest
challenges of their life and maybe even
the the world the challenges we were
taught a lot we were taught a lie that
somehow our intelligence our potential
are learning or memories somehow is
fixed our creativity is fixed our
thinking is fixed like our shoe size and
what we’ve discovered you know as you
know more vehement about brain science
in the past two decades we discovered
more than the previous two thousand
years and what we know is that we’re
grossly under estimating its capacity to
be able to grow to be able to contribute
to improve our intelligence and our
influence and our impact and I’m really
I want to kind of pull the veil behind
and just say hey this is about
transcending you know this is about
ending the trance ending the trance that
you’re that we’re not good enough you
know that we’re not smart enough that we
you’re not this genius and and telling
the truth and then and the truth is
people could we’re faster and we’re
smarter than we think and not just to be
able to rote memorize things but be able
to really solve significant challenges
and maybe that these challenges that
we’re going through or the lessons that
we need to to learn the most and then
some people who learn those lessons feel
compelled to be able to share that voice
by daily practice is to refine my
intention that the biggest weeds that we
all get is an eye intention so when I
say intention I mean my current
intention is to use everything I’ve been
given everything that I have in the
service of others so I want to use the
following that I have to help people I
want to use the money that I have to
help people I want to use the network
that I have to help people but every day
that intention which is a beautiful
little plant that’s growing gets weeds
around it no do it for the money right –
for the faith just do it for the fame do
it for the followers do it for this all
these weeds are like going around my
real intention every day every day
that’s a weed a weed is the intention
that you don’t want and the problem is
sometimes you’ve let it grow so much the
weed looks like the plant right weed
looks like your intention and you start
believing it’s the same thing
so for me my daily practice is going
back in reflecting on what is my voice
right now in my head what am i saying to
myself and I’m hearing make that deal it
makes a lot of money do this do that do
this more followers Fame all that stuff
and I’m cutting it down I’m cutting that
weed every day and you got to do it
every day because the more you’re
surrounded by that energy right the more
it’s gonna keep creeping in like a
only way you can make it especially in
our business the entertainment industry
that you know you can’t be an honorable
honest hard-working person you’ve got to
be willing to do whatever it takes
regardless of how you compromise your
own ethics to get to wherever it is you
want to get and I’ve never believed that
and it doesn’t sound like you believe it
either
now you know I don’t consider that a win
I consider that cheating and I can’t
live with myself I don’t play the game
right but other people don’t like to go
into different cultures and especially
in business it’s like go you got to win
any way you can if somebody’s slipping
and you don’t take advantage of it
you’re dishonouring your family like
I’ve been in cultures like that mm-hmm
you know we’re lying is okay for your
business you know you’re supposed to do
that or else you’re a sucker so you know
it’s just a matter of perspective and
the cloth you’re cut from and you know
it’s a rougher world when everyone is
cheating and you’re playing the game
right you know it’s a tough world but at
the end of the day it’s worth it because
you know there’s nothing more valuable
than your soul your integrity your
freedom you know just being proud of
yourself I just don’t feel like you know
when you you can’t call yourself a
winner if you’re cheating you know
you’re a cheater you know it’s just how
I feel and you might not get caught in
the human form but God will get you you
so how do I find my passion my simple
model which is the Dharma model it also
dharma means eternal duty in the Vedic
tradition it’s very similar to what yoga
is being spoken about today which is a
Japanese version of reason for being why
do we live where is meaning coming from
and it talks about an intersect of four
areas what am I good at what do I love
what is the world need and how do I get
paid for it
to me those four help you unlock your
passion when you find the intersect
across all of those four you’re making
your passion your purpose you’ll unlock
your passion you’ll find your purpose
this is path one there’s two paths path
one I find my skill set and I engage it
to help other people and become better
at it so I’m becoming better what I’m
good at
and I’m using it to help other people
because I’m aware of what I’m quite good
at and I know what more knowledge I have
what skills I have I have some
self-awareness the other path that
people often miss is actually I just
start serving people I just start
helping people and I start to notice
what I enjoy about that and what I’m
good at helping people with so that’s
Gandhi’s path Gandhi said that you find
yourself when you lose yourself in the
service of others so for me those are
the two paths of how do I find my
passion and finding the intersect
between those four areas always
understood that there really was no
difference between me in the audience at
times I might have had better shoes but
at the core the core of what really
matters that we are the same you know
how I know that because all of us are
seeking the same thing you’re here at
this fabulous school and we’ll go out
into the world and each pursue based
upon what you believe your talents are
what your skills are maybe your gifts
are but you’re seeking the same thing
everybody wants to fulfill the highest
truest expression of yourself as a human
being that’s what you’re looking for
the highest truest expression of
yourself as a human being and because I
understand that I understand that if
you’re working in a bakery and that’s
where you want to be and that may be
that may be what you always wanted to do
is to bake pies for people or bake cakes
for people or to offer your gift then
then that’s that’s for you and there’s
no difference between you and me except
that’s how that’s your platform that’s
your show every day so my understanding
of that has allowed me to you know
everyone to reach everyone and and
there’s no way that you wouldn’t because
that’s that’s what I truly feel have to
remind yourself that it’s okay to feel
the way you feel when you’re going for a
difficult time it’s okay to feel weak
it’s okay to want to cry it’s okay to
feel overwhelmed just reminding yourself
that it’s okay this is my number one way
of how to find strength in difficult
times is reminding yourself that the way
you feel is okay to honor that feeling
to accept that feeling to actually be
okay with that what we see or what we
perceive to be a weakness or what we
perceive to let us down or what we
perceive is a sign of you know
instability or insecurity we’ve got to
remind ourselves that when things are
tough it’s okay to feel that way there’s
nothing wrong with that any difficulty I
go to I look to moments in history where
people have endured the same pain if not
more extreme and analyze absorb and
connect with how they got through it I
like to see what they were thinking I
like to see what they did I like to see
how they structured themselves I like to
look at how they organized I looked like
to look at who they were speaking to I
like to look at what was going through
their mind at that time because you’ve
got to remember that any challenge we’re
facing today we’ve faced it before as a
as humanity right beyond ethnicities
beyond color race creed beyond
backgrounds beyond all walks of life as
human beings we’ve been through
challenges before and we’ve got through
them and therefore reconnecting with how
that’s been done before
is a beautiful way of learning how to
overcome current challenges so you can
either look at your past but real wisdom
lies in looking at the past the people
who made a difference you look at people
like Martin Luther King you look at
people like Gandhi you look at people
who made world-changing differences not
single-handedly but influenced from a
single perspective from a single point
of view and really connecting with the
powerful moments in history I’ve said
this quote many times I’ve read it many
times and this quote actually is is
unbelievable and the quote says that
they fought they buried us they didn’t
know we were seeds right it’s a Mexican
proverb they thought they borrowed us
they didn’t know we were seeds and I was
thinking these when you tell yourself
that story
you start thinking much more differently
right a seed is buried – it’s incredible
that the seed goes through the same
process as anything else it’s put deep
underground right all of this mud is put
on top of it it gets rained on it gets
snowed on all these kind of things but
it knows that it’s a seed so it knows
that it can grow so there anything’s
possible and it grows through and you
see even plants growing through concrete
sometimes right it’s unbelievable how
much power a seed has so changing the
stories we tell ourselves we can either
look at challenging situations as
opportunities for growth as an
opportunity to learn as an opportunity
to change be the change we can look at
them and and really fool down now that
that second part is ok we can even feel
like that right but we have to recognize
it’s not permanent
we’ve gotta accept that none of our
feelings are permanent they don’t need
to be permanent it’s a choice so if you
need to vent then I was saying to
someone yesterday if you need a vent
vent if you need to run run if you need
to complain complain if you need to
share how you feel do that but recognize
that those feelings are not permanent
and it’ll be amazing when we realized we
are seeds right that is the most
powerful way of finding strength all
right you do a lot and it’s all relative
you know what I mean like the first time
I heard a record on the radio I was
excited the first time I saw my video on
television I was excited the first time
I saw a movie at a theatrical level it
was very excited you know
first times of anything are exciting and
I tend to have a lot of first times you
know what I’m saying yeah that’s
absolutely incredible so I try to
recreate that first time feeling by
doing new things you know traveling the
world is important opening up art
galleries all over the world has been
fun
you know opened up an art gallery in
Hong Kong was dope as well as Charleston
as well as the Lower East Side as well
as Tribeca all of those first times
we’re great you know I’m saying and
being in different neighborhoods moving
and not being scared to you know have
growing pains and thanks to that nature
so it’s all been really fun it’s been a
blast so in an ideal life for me is a
life and this applies to a company and
organization and institution for me is
an ideal life is when we all have a head
a heart and a hand all three elements
together working in alignment without
one or the other we start to lose
something if you only ever had in a
heart you’ll find that life is stable
and defined yes yeah sure sure sure sure
so ahead is the clarity of vision what
you want what you want knowing what you
want the way you picture life and being
able to navigate make the decisions
together that’s a good head a good heart
is being able to understand what your
intuition and heart ones being able to
connect and tap into that understanding
deeper and beyond the vision you may
have painted for yourself so I often say
to people that you get to where you want
in life just not in the way you imagined
and that’s because the path that’s paved
up and down is far different to the path
we pave so you can have a great head and
a great vision and a great mission and
know where you want to go but if your
hearts not able to have that resilience
and be able to adapt and and have
compassion and care and all of that then
then you’re not going to be able to make
the toughest decisions without your
heart but to be able to realize that we
need to care and be sustainable and
long-lasting requires a heart and a hand
is that service wanting to pass that on
that which you have wanting to give it
forward pay it forward the idea of
serving with what you
I often say to people your passion is
for you your purpose is for others your
passion makes you happy but when you use
your passion to make a difference in
someone else’s life that’s a service
that’s a purpose and that’s the hand so
those are my three elements of an ideal
life I say to that my girls all of the
time that your real work is to figure
out where your power base is and to work
on the alignment of your personality
your gifts that you have to give with
the real reason why you’re here that’s
that’s the number one thing you have to
do is to work on yourself and to fill
your self up and keep your cup full keep
yourself full now I used to be afraid of
that I used to be afraid particularly
from people who say hello she said she
stopped telling her family or something
and now I embrace it I considered a
compliment that I am full of myself
because you only when you’re full I’m
full I’m overflowing my cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it one
of the things that when things don’t
work out one of the things I’ve been
telling myself and also thinking about a
lot is apart from the fact of learning
which we’ll go into is just that space
I’m actually understanding that there
may be a different route see we get so
attached to having one route one method
one way of working we believe that
there’s only one pathway to where we
want to be there’s this conveyor belt of
things we have to do whether it’s you
know get a degree find a partner buy a
house you know play golf whatever it is
like this conveyor belt of efficiency
and productivity that we hear that
becomes a part of our natural
progression and when that breaks apart
that’s when we start to worry that’s
when we start to think but nodes
then actually it’s a lot better when
that happens earlier in life see regret
has some really important roles the
first one is that it helps us make sense
of the world from our perspective for
one of the first time see most of us
have spent our lives learning what’s
important to us based on maybe what
families what what communities to what
parents to what education to whatever it
is when you start regretting something
new thing you did something wrong when
you start thinking that I could have
done something differently you’re making
sense of the world from your perspective
it’s crazy how powerful this is right
you’re starting to make sense of the
world from your perspective the second
thing is it allows you to avoid future
negative behavior if you know you
regretted something why don’t you write
it down right now right if you regret
something write it down right now
because it will teach you so much in the
future you’ve got to write down the
lesson you learn now otherwise next time
when you think you’re making another
tough decision you’re gonna say to
yourself Oh what did I do last time how
did I not make myself regret that and
then you’re gonna be upset you’re gonna
regret that you didn’t write it down so
write it down right now
the way through the challenge is to get
still and ask yourself what is the next
right move not think about it oh I got
all of this stuff what is the next right
move and then from that space make the
next right move and the next right move
and not to be overwhelmed by it because
you know your life is bigger than that
one moment you know you’re not defined
by what somebody says is a failure for
you because failure is just there to
point you in a different direction say
everyone uses a search engine like
Google every single day but a lot of
people they use it 10 times a day if I
ask them are you willing to bet your
life you know what colors the letters
are because that’s that’s an observation
you know there’s difference between
looking at something and seeing you
really seeing it there’s difference
between hearing something and really
listening
you know like leaders like for example I
had this whole escapade with the x-men
which was insane but I had to leave the
the set because there I had to go to a
charity event and one of the people that
I think the leaders the independent of
your political bent who has an
incredible memory as President Clinton
every single time I’ve met President
Clinton he’s remembered my name you know
what he does and how many people does
he’s married to them yes you how many
people does Clinton meet on a regular
basis right and so that’s a leadership
skill though right and so FDR was
incredible with names also he would walk
around the White House and point people
out and say hi to them say saying hi to
their spouse and using by name I mean
that’s cuz I think about the sweetest
sound of person’s ears right America’s
their name yeah I reckon said so anyway
I asked him what’s memory tricky uses he
uses no memory tricks at all and he
tells me this you know the main story
yes and so he tells me this incredible
story about how he knows his grandfather
you know in Arkansas and to get all the
kids around tell stories to them but
then he would quiz them they’d really
need to listen to be present and it’s
funny because I noticed that like he’s
Bill Clinton is Anna cardless Authority
how you feel politically incredible
communicator yeah incredible charisma
incredible connector right
and he also this memory I find he’s this
incredible presence this powerful
presence but I find that his powerful
presence and his memory comes from being
powerfully present his powerful presence
comes from being powerfully the
president and here’s the thing when
people are networking because I know a
lot of people there’s they’re
entrepreneurs or social entrepreneurs
and littles and they’re going out there
meeting people because really it’s it’s
what you know and it’s who you know
but that’s all memory what you know claw
people go to seminar two days later
they’ll forget everything right 80%
there’s a big fur ganker but also who
you know and who knows you right but
what are the challenges is they’ll be
networking and how many times do you
find yourself talking somebody and then
looking over their shoulder
yeah he would people to tell you that
it’s like annoying cuz you’re
distracting yourself at all times more
if you’re not just dragging yourself
externally you’re like talking to
yourself
what am I gonna say Mayer exactly so the
people aren’t even listening now this is
so key when people are communicating
most of the times you find that they’re
not even really listening what they are
is they’re thinking about how they’re
gonna respond yeah you know and if you
look at the word listen and you
sprayable the letters it becomes the
word silent no yeah it’s an expert
people would just do that mark
zuckerberg said it brilliantly at
harvard he was saying that finding your
purpose isn’t enough you have to help
other people find this and I know you’re
passionate about this whatever that
definition is but it has to lead
everyone so if I’m whether I meet a
celebrity and entrepreneur or whether I
meet somebody starting out I’m always
asking them this question how can you
use what you have to make a difference
in the life of other people yeah because
if you start there everything else will
work out but if you’re starting from the
point of what am I gonna get then you’re
always gonna feel disconnected and I see
that I see people who live like that and
feel pain in their lives every day I see
that it’s not like some conceptual
philosophy we see it I see people who
are only in it for themselves and they
feel disconnected dissatisfied every
single day and then you see the other
extreme where people are just rying to
give too much more than they even have
themselves and they also feel
disconnected and again nothing at all
nothing at all right so we know again
attachment and aversion two sides of the
same coin
mm-hmm so we want to be in that dynamic
balance of growth but always to give
yeah so I always think how can I go
three steps deeper so that I can move
three steps forward so I can give three
times as much right it’s all that’s
always my mentality how do I go deeper
to go more forward to give more yeah and
if I can get those and three in action
for that reason see it’s what about the
reasoning you can do anything you like
but it’s why are you doing it worse a
lot of us on circumstances when you
starting
ain’t no plan B gotta work don’t
work what’s gonna happen you know so if
you’re in that point in position you go
what’s working and you start to get
influenced so you sway to what’s
actually working at the moment and your
music changes and starts to sound a
little bit like what’s happening on the
radio right now I’ve heard demo tapes
from ten different little Wayne’s there
wasn’t Lil Wayne you know that’s just
sound like what you do and then it stuff
like how do you say that it’s not good
if was working right now is that you
know I’m saying so you go and like it
it’s good but it’s hard for me to really
embrace it because you ain’t Lil Wayne
what do you want me to invest the money
into the copy almost 30 and I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything in life
I made a promise to myself while I was a
university that I would get a job that
excites me every morning but right now
I’m afraid I’m not going in that
direction that note was written by a
young person and when I read it my heart
sank
I felt that way because I know so many
people that are in that exact position I
remember when I decided to trade my
nine-to-five for a 24-7 it was because I
wanted to do something that was
meaningful every day I wanted to do
something that was purposeful and
fulfilling from the moment I woke up to
the moment I went to sleep the one thing
I didn’t know before I started is how
achievable that was but also what it
required when I transitioned from my
nine-to-five or actually my 9:00 to 9:00
to her 24/7 I realized that I was going
to have to work harder smarter and
faster and that step was full of fear
full of anxiety full of insecurities
full of questions like what will happen
if it doesn’t work what will people say
should I just have stayed where I was I
went through all of those emotion
all at the same time and then something
came to me I wrote down the various
options that I had in life at the time
and I wrote a word above them that I
believe summarized the experience or the
result of what I thought that would give
me some of them said ego because I
thought those career paths would give me
a boost to my ego some said security
because they were certain roles with
jobs I could take that would provide a
certain level of financial security and
then one path said the word love because
I knew if I did that that I would love
every moment even if it was truly
challenging and sometimes really
difficult to deal with and that’s why
I’m here today making this video
speaking to all of you because I chose
the path that had the word love above it
try that exercise try that activity out
to try and differentiate the motive the
intention behind what you’re choosing
and selecting in life no just because
you choose the word love doesn’t mean
that everything’s gonna be smooth
sailing and are you going to be
successful it’s going to have its own
ups and downs and that’s why wherever
you go with your heart take your head
with you so I quit my job
comfy corporate job doing really well
for myself and I’m trying to get into
media and so I’m writing to every big
media company with before my videos and
saying please give me a job like I’ll
come in like a video journalist salary I
was looking at salaries that like a
quarter of what I made I was like I
don’t care about the money I want to
make videos and I want to spread a
message I’m getting rejection email
after rejection email saying Jay you
never studied media Jay you have no
background so I’m getting rejected by
all the biggest companies
Business Insider HuffPost The Economist
wired you name it I’ve got all the
emails and then I try and network with
the editors of these magazines so I find
out where they are I go to the events I
try and talk to them and they like to me
hey man you’re like 28 years old why do
you want to do this you make more money
right now hang in the corporate world do
it as a hobby I remember running after
one of our biggest news anchors in
England called John snow and he rides a
biker in London please like he’s huge is
on channel 4 one of the biggest
broadcasters for us her and so I’ve run
off to him when he’s on his bike and I’m
like John please please stop and he
stops he’s really kind I said John can
you please give me a job I’ll just I
don’t want to get paid I’ll just watch
you and I because he creates these
powerful documentaries he’s interviewed
the best of the best line
dala and all this time life-changing
conversations and he goes to me he gives
me a card and he goes J go get a masters
in median and come back I’m thinking
it’s one two three more years yeah
exactly I’m gonna go back like Andy so I
came to a point where I literally had no
other option than to start a YouTube
channel and and my honest limiting
belief at the time was that doesn’t work
for anyone and that’s what I said to
myself as well it’s not gonna work for
anyone but I literally had exhausted I
think it’s Thomas Edison who says when
you feel you’ve exhausted every option
remember you haven’t and I’d come to
that point where I felt I’d exhausted
every option
apart from starting a YouTube channel so
I launched the channel Jam 3rd 2016 two
years ago and it’s doing pretty well
home is if you have the greatest hammer
and the greatest screwdriver and the
greatest wrench the greatest in front of
you if you don’t use them properly you
will lose right if there’s a nail that I
have to put in that ground but I take
the wrench and I hit it when the hammer
was right there it still comes down to
the practitioner mm-hmm and you have to
be good at your craft and you have to
love your if you love sales if you don’t
love it you have no chance because it’s
so hard it’s so painful there’s so much
rejection right so those are the things
I think about
so technology’s clear neighborhoods you
just said there that the person is
equally important and more important
right and I just apologize for jumping
in but let me make it perfectly straight
if I go play Roger Federer right now in
tennis and I’m the greatest tennis
racket ever made
like from taken from the Mars is new
like resources right and he took a John
McEnroe 1974 tennis racket he would whip
my ass like I’m crushing sales people
that have every sales force every one of
your competitors 37 features upgraded
went to every pro conference watching
this I will beat their ass in sales
every day of the week your talent
there’s some pivotal moment for you in
your life where you just really got it
and and something happened a fire
ignited inside you that made it so that
you had all the moving parts to make
this amazing career unfold I think the
death of my mother probably got me
really focused and I understood that
there wasn’t gonna be anyone there to
take care of me had to take care of
myself and just out of respect for her
life and all the things she did to make
me a better person I had to apply all
those things so you know at like 17 my
mother died when I was 16 and 17 you
know I was running the streets so heavy
and it was getting it so critical then I
put myself in boarding school you know I
figured out how to get a scholarship and
because of the ability that my mother
gave me to articulate what’s on my mind
to read to write you know cannot be
afraid and also I was you know boxing so
I got went to the boys club and they
were given our scholarship for you know
you took a test I passed the test and
you know I made it and I was just always
able to put myself in a better place I
never let anybody else control my
destiny my mom taught me to make things
happen on my own not to depend on
anybody and if I have an opinion to speak on it
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