there is no such thing as work-life
balance is only work-life integration
you want to receive start by giving but
don’t even like the phrase work-life
balance I think it’s misleading rise and
shine it’s an espresso time what’s up
belief nation it’s Evan I believe in you
and this channel is designed to be part
of your daily success routine so let’s
start your day off right to get there
grab your coffee and sip on today’s
message live your mission over you Tony
Robbins also if you want to know what
Tony and other successful entrepreneurs
have to say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence the link to join is in
the description below the fact that
human beings our strongest drive is the
need to stay consistent with how we
define ourselves so while you’re in this
passionate state that’s where you make
decisions so if you want to change your
life my friends you’ve got to change
your physiology and you got to change
your focus
when people talk about work work-life
balance I was talking to Mary Calvin
Erdos who’s the organization now she
manages two point six trillion with T
dollars probably the most influential
woman in the financial world brilliant
woman and I asked her cuz you know
anything 50 of the smartest people on
the face of the earth they said I know
you’re very deeply caring my mom and in
life and how do you bailed on it and she
said Tony she was I read this one of
your books because there is no such
thing as work-life balance there’s only
work-life integration and I really
believe that my soul so in my companies
you know my wife and I we live our
mission together we’re 24/7 365 together
and we love it because we’re derivative
by the same things one of my son’s is a
partner and several of my financial
businesses one of my other sons is in
the coaching business you know my
daughter’s an actress and you know
totally different business but she cares
for people the same way so there’s a
common denominator within our family
we’re all submission driven that we
don’t have to separate the two when your
family’s involved involved in your
mission
you’re not pulled apart you’re pulled
together in the same direction I think
the hard part is so many families have
pulley different wives and they come
together when they’re exhausted and try
to have a relationship together and I
think that’s really hard for people
today I always encourage people to say
listen in your partnership in life you
want to find somebody who’s your best
friend because intimacy and passion is
easy to turn on but friendship is not
and if you have a friend shares your
values and your mission if you’re
privileged about them do things together
as a business owner I find that to be
the greatest possibility of that
work-life integration I think if you
have a partner who doesn’t support your
business you’re either gonna lose your
business you’re gonna lose your partner
it’s really hard to be mission driven
and want to have a successful company
and being a relationship with somebody
who doesn’t support you I think there’s
four buckets that people fall into two
of them are negative and two of them are
positive the two and the negative side
you have a partner who just absolutely
hates what you’re doing you have a
partner who just doesn’t believe in what
you’re doing they hate it they think you
should quit they think it’s tearing down
the family they just don’t want you to
do anything with related to that
business and that really sucks as a
place to be in
can’t continue on with your business and
your relationship you have to figure out
a way to make it happen the second
bucket is they tolerate it they’re not
happy with it but they tolerate it and
that’s also a really tough place to be
because anytime you are struggling
anytime you’re not getting results
anytime you’re coming home when you’re
stressed out they’re gonna say see see I
told you that business you shouldn’t be
doing it they barely tolerate it but
they’re not on your side they just do it
because they want you to have your thing
and they love you but they’re not really
on your side they don’t want it to
succeed it’s a really hard spot to be in
if that’s you and an entrepreneur and
that being your partner it sucks
now we move into the positive side the
next step up is they support you they
support you they believe in what you’re
doing they may not be involved in it but
they want you to be happy they believe
in your mission they’re their pump that
you’re up doing your own thing and they
support you and you going off and
accomplishing your goal and then the
last one which is ideal in most
situations if you have someone who’s a
champion and they champion you and they
want to be involved and they want to
help and they want to participate and
they’re thinking about you and they’re
they’re trying to champion your cause
and so there’s those four buckets you
have to be in the last two in my opinion
you have to be in a positive territory
with your partner otherwise your
relationship or your business will not
last long term so what can you do now
how can you move your partner from being
the negative spot to being a more
positive one I’m gonna give you a 3-step
process that I think will help your
business and your relationship it looks
like this support communicate involve
support communicate and involve so step
one is support and what that means is
you support them support them first if
you are supporting them in their career
and their ambitions and their drive and
what they’re looking for
you’re much more likely get support back
on you if you are just expecting support
24/7 but you’re not giving it first it’s
really hard so if you want to get it
back you want to receive start by giving
and so they may not want to be not refer
that may not be how you support them but
could you support them in their career
could you support them and their
friendships could you support them in
your relationship like what are they
after
what are their goals what are their
aspirations what do they need help with
do the
just need somebody to come home and
listen to them for half an hour when
they walk in the door what is it what
does the port look like for them not
your version of it you know what you
want what’s their version of it and how
can you support them in accomplishing
their goals their ambitions their
aspirations you support them first and
then you’ll get a little more support on
your rent I promise
step number two is communicate one of
the biggest challenges with
entrepreneurs is we don’t often
communicate to our partner is what we’re
going through or thinking about
struggling with and this is something
that that nina and i struggling with
early on in our relationship
Nina’s where’s Nina Nina somewhere there
Nina somewhere there there’s the hand so
me I don’t need to share what’s
happening in my life I don’t need to
doesn’t doesn’t release any stress or
attention or energy if I’m working with
something I need to just figure it out
and I’ll get to the place where I have
an answer and I’m good Nina always wants
to know what’s happening in my life she
wanted to know when she came home from
work what happened to me that day I
don’t even remember what happened with
me that day I have to force myself to
think about what happened and at the
beginning that caused a little bit of
tension and so I made a dedicated effort
to say okay I’m gonna think about what’s
happening in my life what’s happening my
business I’m gonna make an effort to
tell Nina first before anybody else
finds out she’d be upset if she wasn’t
the first to know so I make her the
first to know and that extra
communication helps because she
understands my world a little bit better
even though she wasn’t involved in my
world that want you to know she didn’t
know much about YouTube or the things
that I’m working on she couldn’t be an
asset to the business yet just having
her know having her feel like she’s
involved in the problems that I’m facing
at that time make everything easier so
there was an important YouTube update
that came out her or something went
wrong on the channel and she knew about
it she would say hey do you need to go
home and work on it she understands now
she’s in my corner so it’s not the
business being the negative the business
taking time away from us my problem has
become her problem and my win has become
her win and so it allows her an entry
point into my world and so communicate
you have to communicate you got to set
the rules you got to explain what’s
going on
I didn’t event yes
in Indianapolis and an entrepreneur came
up at the end and was talking to me
about how he feels the same way where
he’s like super stressed out at work and
his business and he comes home and he
has no more energy left and then he
comes and his wife wants to talk
immediately about what happened to him
during the day and he just wants some
time to relax and it causes a lot of
tension at home and he’s a frustrated
upset that he’s not bringing his best of
himself at home to his relationships so
give me some advice one on your way home
go with the intention of how do you want
the rest of your evening to go right
you’re just going home like an accident
go home with the intention if I want to
have a great night
with my wife to work on communicate and
explain if you’re stressed out say why
you’re stressed out don’t take it out on
your partner go home and say what
happened to you and why you’re so
stressed out and by you explaining it
you’re bringing her into your world
she’s more likely to understand and
support you that’s how you can get
somebody from Touches tolerating what
you’re doing to supporting you because
they see how important it is to you and
the storytelling brings them into your
world and then three just a
communication on that part of maybe you
need 20 minutes to yourself when you
come home maybe you set some ground
rules with your wife and say hey I I
want to tell you everything I want to
explain and be fully transparent and let
you to my world when I come home I just
need 20 minutes to myself just to
decompress just to relax and then I’m in
a much better spot emotionally to be
able to come and talk and share what’s
on my mind
chances are actually to understand that
but you just set that up you set that
communication up before so that when you
come home it’s not this giant fight
every night so step two and building a
better relationship is communication and
then step number three is involving them
see what you can do to involve them into
your business into your mission into
your values if there’s a fit so I’m
filming this from an Airbnb here in
Indianapolis I made a commitment to my
wife and I said I’m gonna take you to
every city in North America with a
million plus people I did that cuz she
liked to travel and I like meeting
entrepreneurs so how will we combine
these things together Nina loves
organizing events she loves putting on
events doing all the all the detail work
all that stuff that I’m not a huge fan
of but I didn’t have a lot for her to do
in my business
right she didn’t want to be in front of
the camera she didn’t want to do YouTube
stuff organizing events was not a big
part of what I did I do two events a
year in Toronto one in May 1 to
September teaching people how to be
thought leaders and make money from it
and she definitely helped out a lot in
putting those events on and booked in
the restaurants and all of that stuff
she was a huge lifesaver but it’s not
enough to be heavily involved it’s
definitely not a full-time job so I said
well what if we found the way to
integrate it what if we combined your
love of travel in your love of
organizing events my love of helping
entrepreneurs and we smush all that
together and we created this tour we
created this Frankenstein creation where
her I’m visiting in 90 days 23 different
cities and that was a cold collaboration
right that was a Coe effort on our part
to combine our wishes together what we’d
love doing and find a way to work
together what’s gonna happen you do the
90 days I don’t know there’s need to go
back and get another job I don’t know
there’s Nina find another path to
continue on in my business I don’t know
we’re gonna be different people by the
end of the 90 days and so we’re open to
be able to do more together and so
following that three-step process
thinking about how first you can support
them on what they’re doing then thinking
about how you can communicate better
just to express what you’re going
through and then 3 trying to figure out
how can you involve them more in what
you’re doing not forcing them to do
something that they don’t want to do by
finding an opportunity of how they can
combine their passion with your mission
as well I think makes for a much better
work-life integration and a happier
relationship as well as a business now
I’ve got a really special bonus clip
that I think you’re gonna enjoy but
before that question of the day I want
to know how have you incorporated your
partner or some of your friends or
family in your business let me now put
in the comments below how do you go
about establishing that work-life
balance that everybody you know talks
about and thinks about you’ve got I mean
you live a big life right I know how do
you how do you I get that in a lot I get
it I teach senior executive kind of
leadership classes at Amazon for our
most senior execs and I also teach or
not teach but I also speak to interns so
kind of all across the spectrum and I
get this question about work-life
balance all the time
from from both ends of the spectrum and
the my view is I don’t even like the
phrase work-life balance I think it’s
misleading I like the phrase work life
harmony because I know that if I am
energized at work happy at work
feeling like I’m adding value part of a
team
whatever energizes you that makes me
better at home it makes me a better
husband a better father and likewise if
I’m happy at home it makes me a better
employee a better boss all the things
it’s not about it’s not primarily about
there may be crunch periods where it’s
about the number of hours in the week
but that that’s not the that’s not the
real thing usually it’s about do you
have energy and is this is your work
depriving you of energy or is your work
generating energy for you and you know
there are people everybody in this room
notice people you fall into these two
camps you’re in a meeting and the person
comes in the room
some people come into the meeting and
they add energy to the meeting other
people come into the meeting and the
whole meeting just deflates and those
people just they drain energy from the
meeting and you have to decide which was
hosts kinds of people you’re gonna be
are you gonna add energy and the same
thing at home and the same thing at home
and it’s so it’s a wheel it’s a cycle
it’s a flywheel it’s a circle it’s not a
balance because of balance that’s why
that metaphor is so dangerous because it
implies there’s a strict trade-off and
you could be out of work have all the
time for your family in the world but
really depressed and demoralized about
your work situation and your family
wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you
they would wish you would take a
vacation from them and so it’s not about
the number of hours not primarily I
suppose if you went crazy with you know
100 hours a week or something yeah that
maybe maybe there are limits and they
probably I’ve never had a problem and I
think it’s because both sides of my life
give me energy and that’s what I would
recommend that’s what I do recommend
to interns and XX if you want more Tony
Robbins check out the eight hours of
Tony Robbins motivation video I did the
link is right there next to me
I think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you that everybody
wants life to be greater but almost all
of us get stuck at times or something
stops us something prevents us from
doing something that we really are capable of doing
balance is only work-life integration
you want to receive start by giving but
don’t even like the phrase work-life
balance I think it’s misleading rise and
shine it’s an espresso time what’s up
belief nation it’s Evan I believe in you
and this channel is designed to be part
of your daily success routine so let’s
start your day off right to get there
grab your coffee and sip on today’s
message live your mission over you Tony
Robbins also if you want to know what
Tony and other successful entrepreneurs
have to say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence the link to join is in
the description below the fact that
human beings our strongest drive is the
need to stay consistent with how we
define ourselves so while you’re in this
passionate state that’s where you make
decisions so if you want to change your
life my friends you’ve got to change
your physiology and you got to change
your focus
when people talk about work work-life
balance I was talking to Mary Calvin
Erdos who’s the organization now she
manages two point six trillion with T
dollars probably the most influential
woman in the financial world brilliant
woman and I asked her cuz you know
anything 50 of the smartest people on
the face of the earth they said I know
you’re very deeply caring my mom and in
life and how do you bailed on it and she
said Tony she was I read this one of
your books because there is no such
thing as work-life balance there’s only
work-life integration and I really
believe that my soul so in my companies
you know my wife and I we live our
mission together we’re 24/7 365 together
and we love it because we’re derivative
by the same things one of my son’s is a
partner and several of my financial
businesses one of my other sons is in
the coaching business you know my
daughter’s an actress and you know
totally different business but she cares
for people the same way so there’s a
common denominator within our family
we’re all submission driven that we
don’t have to separate the two when your
family’s involved involved in your
mission
you’re not pulled apart you’re pulled
together in the same direction I think
the hard part is so many families have
pulley different wives and they come
together when they’re exhausted and try
to have a relationship together and I
think that’s really hard for people
today I always encourage people to say
listen in your partnership in life you
want to find somebody who’s your best
friend because intimacy and passion is
easy to turn on but friendship is not
and if you have a friend shares your
values and your mission if you’re
privileged about them do things together
as a business owner I find that to be
the greatest possibility of that
work-life integration I think if you
have a partner who doesn’t support your
business you’re either gonna lose your
business you’re gonna lose your partner
it’s really hard to be mission driven
and want to have a successful company
and being a relationship with somebody
who doesn’t support you I think there’s
four buckets that people fall into two
of them are negative and two of them are
positive the two and the negative side
you have a partner who just absolutely
hates what you’re doing you have a
partner who just doesn’t believe in what
you’re doing they hate it they think you
should quit they think it’s tearing down
the family they just don’t want you to
do anything with related to that
business and that really sucks as a
place to be in
can’t continue on with your business and
your relationship you have to figure out
a way to make it happen the second
bucket is they tolerate it they’re not
happy with it but they tolerate it and
that’s also a really tough place to be
because anytime you are struggling
anytime you’re not getting results
anytime you’re coming home when you’re
stressed out they’re gonna say see see I
told you that business you shouldn’t be
doing it they barely tolerate it but
they’re not on your side they just do it
because they want you to have your thing
and they love you but they’re not really
on your side they don’t want it to
succeed it’s a really hard spot to be in
if that’s you and an entrepreneur and
that being your partner it sucks
now we move into the positive side the
next step up is they support you they
support you they believe in what you’re
doing they may not be involved in it but
they want you to be happy they believe
in your mission they’re their pump that
you’re up doing your own thing and they
support you and you going off and
accomplishing your goal and then the
last one which is ideal in most
situations if you have someone who’s a
champion and they champion you and they
want to be involved and they want to
help and they want to participate and
they’re thinking about you and they’re
they’re trying to champion your cause
and so there’s those four buckets you
have to be in the last two in my opinion
you have to be in a positive territory
with your partner otherwise your
relationship or your business will not
last long term so what can you do now
how can you move your partner from being
the negative spot to being a more
positive one I’m gonna give you a 3-step
process that I think will help your
business and your relationship it looks
like this support communicate involve
support communicate and involve so step
one is support and what that means is
you support them support them first if
you are supporting them in their career
and their ambitions and their drive and
what they’re looking for
you’re much more likely get support back
on you if you are just expecting support
24/7 but you’re not giving it first it’s
really hard so if you want to get it
back you want to receive start by giving
and so they may not want to be not refer
that may not be how you support them but
could you support them in their career
could you support them and their
friendships could you support them in
your relationship like what are they
after
what are their goals what are their
aspirations what do they need help with
do the
just need somebody to come home and
listen to them for half an hour when
they walk in the door what is it what
does the port look like for them not
your version of it you know what you
want what’s their version of it and how
can you support them in accomplishing
their goals their ambitions their
aspirations you support them first and
then you’ll get a little more support on
your rent I promise
step number two is communicate one of
the biggest challenges with
entrepreneurs is we don’t often
communicate to our partner is what we’re
going through or thinking about
struggling with and this is something
that that nina and i struggling with
early on in our relationship
Nina’s where’s Nina Nina somewhere there
Nina somewhere there there’s the hand so
me I don’t need to share what’s
happening in my life I don’t need to
doesn’t doesn’t release any stress or
attention or energy if I’m working with
something I need to just figure it out
and I’ll get to the place where I have
an answer and I’m good Nina always wants
to know what’s happening in my life she
wanted to know when she came home from
work what happened to me that day I
don’t even remember what happened with
me that day I have to force myself to
think about what happened and at the
beginning that caused a little bit of
tension and so I made a dedicated effort
to say okay I’m gonna think about what’s
happening in my life what’s happening my
business I’m gonna make an effort to
tell Nina first before anybody else
finds out she’d be upset if she wasn’t
the first to know so I make her the
first to know and that extra
communication helps because she
understands my world a little bit better
even though she wasn’t involved in my
world that want you to know she didn’t
know much about YouTube or the things
that I’m working on she couldn’t be an
asset to the business yet just having
her know having her feel like she’s
involved in the problems that I’m facing
at that time make everything easier so
there was an important YouTube update
that came out her or something went
wrong on the channel and she knew about
it she would say hey do you need to go
home and work on it she understands now
she’s in my corner so it’s not the
business being the negative the business
taking time away from us my problem has
become her problem and my win has become
her win and so it allows her an entry
point into my world and so communicate
you have to communicate you got to set
the rules you got to explain what’s
going on
I didn’t event yes
in Indianapolis and an entrepreneur came
up at the end and was talking to me
about how he feels the same way where
he’s like super stressed out at work and
his business and he comes home and he
has no more energy left and then he
comes and his wife wants to talk
immediately about what happened to him
during the day and he just wants some
time to relax and it causes a lot of
tension at home and he’s a frustrated
upset that he’s not bringing his best of
himself at home to his relationships so
give me some advice one on your way home
go with the intention of how do you want
the rest of your evening to go right
you’re just going home like an accident
go home with the intention if I want to
have a great night
with my wife to work on communicate and
explain if you’re stressed out say why
you’re stressed out don’t take it out on
your partner go home and say what
happened to you and why you’re so
stressed out and by you explaining it
you’re bringing her into your world
she’s more likely to understand and
support you that’s how you can get
somebody from Touches tolerating what
you’re doing to supporting you because
they see how important it is to you and
the storytelling brings them into your
world and then three just a
communication on that part of maybe you
need 20 minutes to yourself when you
come home maybe you set some ground
rules with your wife and say hey I I
want to tell you everything I want to
explain and be fully transparent and let
you to my world when I come home I just
need 20 minutes to myself just to
decompress just to relax and then I’m in
a much better spot emotionally to be
able to come and talk and share what’s
on my mind
chances are actually to understand that
but you just set that up you set that
communication up before so that when you
come home it’s not this giant fight
every night so step two and building a
better relationship is communication and
then step number three is involving them
see what you can do to involve them into
your business into your mission into
your values if there’s a fit so I’m
filming this from an Airbnb here in
Indianapolis I made a commitment to my
wife and I said I’m gonna take you to
every city in North America with a
million plus people I did that cuz she
liked to travel and I like meeting
entrepreneurs so how will we combine
these things together Nina loves
organizing events she loves putting on
events doing all the all the detail work
all that stuff that I’m not a huge fan
of but I didn’t have a lot for her to do
in my business
right she didn’t want to be in front of
the camera she didn’t want to do YouTube
stuff organizing events was not a big
part of what I did I do two events a
year in Toronto one in May 1 to
September teaching people how to be
thought leaders and make money from it
and she definitely helped out a lot in
putting those events on and booked in
the restaurants and all of that stuff
she was a huge lifesaver but it’s not
enough to be heavily involved it’s
definitely not a full-time job so I said
well what if we found the way to
integrate it what if we combined your
love of travel in your love of
organizing events my love of helping
entrepreneurs and we smush all that
together and we created this tour we
created this Frankenstein creation where
her I’m visiting in 90 days 23 different
cities and that was a cold collaboration
right that was a Coe effort on our part
to combine our wishes together what we’d
love doing and find a way to work
together what’s gonna happen you do the
90 days I don’t know there’s need to go
back and get another job I don’t know
there’s Nina find another path to
continue on in my business I don’t know
we’re gonna be different people by the
end of the 90 days and so we’re open to
be able to do more together and so
following that three-step process
thinking about how first you can support
them on what they’re doing then thinking
about how you can communicate better
just to express what you’re going
through and then 3 trying to figure out
how can you involve them more in what
you’re doing not forcing them to do
something that they don’t want to do by
finding an opportunity of how they can
combine their passion with your mission
as well I think makes for a much better
work-life integration and a happier
relationship as well as a business now
I’ve got a really special bonus clip
that I think you’re gonna enjoy but
before that question of the day I want
to know how have you incorporated your
partner or some of your friends or
family in your business let me now put
in the comments below how do you go
about establishing that work-life
balance that everybody you know talks
about and thinks about you’ve got I mean
you live a big life right I know how do
you how do you I get that in a lot I get
it I teach senior executive kind of
leadership classes at Amazon for our
most senior execs and I also teach or
not teach but I also speak to interns so
kind of all across the spectrum and I
get this question about work-life
balance all the time
from from both ends of the spectrum and
the my view is I don’t even like the
phrase work-life balance I think it’s
misleading I like the phrase work life
harmony because I know that if I am
energized at work happy at work
feeling like I’m adding value part of a
team
whatever energizes you that makes me
better at home it makes me a better
husband a better father and likewise if
I’m happy at home it makes me a better
employee a better boss all the things
it’s not about it’s not primarily about
there may be crunch periods where it’s
about the number of hours in the week
but that that’s not the that’s not the
real thing usually it’s about do you
have energy and is this is your work
depriving you of energy or is your work
generating energy for you and you know
there are people everybody in this room
notice people you fall into these two
camps you’re in a meeting and the person
comes in the room
some people come into the meeting and
they add energy to the meeting other
people come into the meeting and the
whole meeting just deflates and those
people just they drain energy from the
meeting and you have to decide which was
hosts kinds of people you’re gonna be
are you gonna add energy and the same
thing at home and the same thing at home
and it’s so it’s a wheel it’s a cycle
it’s a flywheel it’s a circle it’s not a
balance because of balance that’s why
that metaphor is so dangerous because it
implies there’s a strict trade-off and
you could be out of work have all the
time for your family in the world but
really depressed and demoralized about
your work situation and your family
wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you
they would wish you would take a
vacation from them and so it’s not about
the number of hours not primarily I
suppose if you went crazy with you know
100 hours a week or something yeah that
maybe maybe there are limits and they
probably I’ve never had a problem and I
think it’s because both sides of my life
give me energy and that’s what I would
recommend that’s what I do recommend
to interns and XX if you want more Tony
Robbins check out the eight hours of
Tony Robbins motivation video I did the
link is right there next to me
I think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you that everybody
wants life to be greater but almost all
of us get stuck at times or something
stops us something prevents us from
doing something that we really are capable of doing
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