Martin Seligman did a wonderful piece of
research at AU pen that just writing
down at the end of the day three amazing
things that you experienced has a
significant impact in life satisfaction
it can it can impact your relationships
with others if you are depressed people
that came into his study stabilize their
depression people that were not
depressed that came into their study
after a I think was one month three
month and six month follow-up they had a
significant overall increase in their
overall life satisfaction it’s as simple
as brightening out three amazing things
right and so that’s one way to train
optimism in gratitude you find yourself
in New York the world is ending
financial crisis yeah and there’s
probably a lot of Wall Street people at
that moment that need a monk yeah
probably
is that who you that that your customer
base like who do you start sitting with
to try to help them mainly entrepreneurs
so I didn’t know very much about
business and I wanted to surround myself
at financially successful entrepreneurs
so I started using some tools to create
it in my mind and surround myself with
successful entrepreneurs and I just
haven’t yeah you start attracting people
if you start to change the shape of your
mind you know by using some techniques
you you start attracting like-minded
people into your life say and so the
first one comes the second one comes
before you know you’re the center of
entrepreneurial network two things one
is I wanted to work with that group of
people second is I wanted to build a
business that’s successful and where do
I son I figured I could go to business
school forget that I’ll learn from
someone who’s done it and done it really
well so I chose the second option and I
thought if I surrounded myself with
these people I could just learn from
them and believe in in the power of a
community so there’s this very famous
story from Napoleon Hills Think and Grow
Rich where a general a long long time
ago takes his troops on a few boats and
sails to an island for a battle and as
the troops get off the get off the boat
and the general goes out to survey his
enemy the general sees that the enemy is
out numbering his troops ten to one
so he comes up with a strategy the
general lines up his troops lights a
match and sets the ships on fire and by
burning the ships he gives us troops an
option either you win or you die and
sure enough they want and when it comes
to burning your ships in your life this
is the most personal part because this
is when you’re almost at the end of your
journey this is the part that makes the
difference between chasing the dream in
achieving your dream and only you deep
down know what your version of burning
airships are so I want to challenge you
when you’re at that final point of your
make it your final bullet go all ships
in and when you get to that point burn
your ships just the last 15 minutes of
this path cast was so strong from Monday
morning about like where it all starts
with your mind people don’t really
believe it but it’s true Rudy for me it
started when I said I’m getting into
comedy I don’t give my credit bureau
I don’t give a but the credit card
people I don’t you about the bank’s
about what I Drive you about what my
clothes on because at the end it doesn’t
really matter unless you’re happy for
years I worried about my job and I gotta
have white sneakers or nothing I have a
black shirt on it who gives up at the
end of the day I wasn’t happy
I wasn’t happy I didn’t get happy till I
started driving cross-country with a
pair of shorts on and stinky sneakers
the t-shirt and you got three pair of
jeans and three shirts and they’re
lasting you all week dog you got like
four pair of socks and you get on a
stage that’s what I really started
getting happy when I started waking up
in the morning and knew I had to drive
200 miles and I had 30 to 50 in quarters
and I had to get lunch with that reefer
and gas to get me to that next location
for some reason I’d be happy a lot
happier than making 1,200 a week and
paying my bills I was like this is what
I like I like this so it’s food for
thought sometimes it’s not about the
money or the dollars it’s about what
brings a smile to your face and once you
find that let yourself go don’t think
about it don’t look back yeah don’t
compare prices yeah don’t listen to your
uncle about taking their roofing job for
1254 stability yeah you know what
stability is overrated dog stability is
overrated absolutely I think happiness
is doing what you want sort of health
and even in there Broadway I was in
County for I was in comedy for 12 years
before I saw it time yeah we were
getting paid but nothing to write home
about I could have quit at any time in
those 12 years and found a job I would
have trick somebody into being an indoor
salesman I didn’t want to do that I
would have rather live on eight thousand
a year and do my own thing and around at
night smoke pot with your stupid buddies
and get on stage and go into an office
insurance who gives a when you
think about the insurance that’s when
you need insurance
the fifth 4:30 is I ran around with
noise shows that never happened to me
but you’ve got this
I really like the titles I really want
to go after it I’m Way intense I want to
win I’m all-in getting in that kind of
shape is brutally difficult but then at
the same time you can balance it with
the playfulness and it’s not all about
that how have you learned to strike that
balance and
maybe more importantly how do you teach
other people to do that mmm
I’ve learned if I don’t learn to strike
that balance that when I go to extreme
in either one I’m not I I’m not happy I
feel very scattered I feel frantic I
feel crazy so I think that for me when I
start feeling a little bit chaotic so
for me it shows up in a very like
grasping for straws things aren’t
happening like I’m running into a wall
like the feeling of banging your head
against a wall that’s what it feels like
for me and I know a lot of people can
relate to that and I think especially a
lot of people in Fitness might get into
it to kind of like maybe they’re anxious
or it calms their nerves because I think
I run really on the anxious side so for
me if I don’t learn how to control that
I’ll go to the extreme of something so
it’s a must for me I actually think it’s
a must for everyone to kind of find how
to dance in the different categories of
your life because we’re not just one
thing and when we go all in on one thing
were severely neglecting the other parts
of us which makes for an empty human you
know which makes for someone who doesn’t
feel who never feels full so I have to
remember that there’s so many parts of
me that I need to make sure that I’m
fulfilling all right so going into the
darkness I think everybody is motivated
by two different things one you have the
beautiful things in your life the things
that are going well the things that
you’re grateful for the things you’re
moving towards instead of a way you have
a compelling vision of your future it’s
something that you’re very excited about
all of those things are the beautiful
things now the flip side of that
equation are the things that it’s people
that doubt you it’s haters it’s things
you’re moving away from
it’s fear-based things it’s something
that you absolutely refuse to let happen
so one that is incredibly potent to me
are the people that want to see me fail
so it’s very different than people who
just think you’re going to fail I
actually don’t have a lot of aggression
towards people like that but people that
want me to fail
those people I have a lot of aggression
for and I find in very acute moments the
darkness serves you better in very acute
moments now the light the things you’re
moving towards the things that are
beautiful the things that you’re
grateful for all of that is the only
winning strategy long term because the
darkness becomes corrosive you start to
become bitter you start to be angry you
stop being optimistic you stop seeing
things in a way that’s empowering and
positive and I mean just thinking about
the deep limbic system when it gets
inflamed you perceive things as negative
I think negativity stops people from
making progress there’s a whole host of
neurological reasons and the sort of
mindset reasons why I think that being
negative over the long run becomes very
very detrimental and hold you back but
from an acute standpoint they’ve done
Studies on this if you want someone to
be able to endure more pain the surest
way to get people to endure more pain is
to let them get angry let them be
aggressive and in doing that people are
able to withstand in the clinical trials
I’ll say that’s probably more than this
but in clinical trials they’re able to
withstand 30% more pain so just straight
being able to take more pain anger and
aggression lets you do 30% more so
that’s why I think in acute ways and
short-term bursts that the darkness will
serve you
I’ve always been left-handed right
brained and very visual about everything
in my life and I remember it was I have
an older brother and a younger sister
and when my mom was uh when my brother
was off to school I was about four you
know five years where I hadn’t gone to
kindergarten yet I used to just sit and
draw all day long and it was something
where I remember being inside of a
painting or a picture or a drawing and
time would stop I would be there for
almost I I remember starting a pod wrong
or whatever and it was turning tonight
it would be eight hours have gone by and
it felt like literally 20 minutes and I
got better and better and and but but
this is a deal to is that I was always
always
disappointed as an artist because it
never looked the way I wanted it to look
so every drawing every painting became
this effort to make what was in my head
match what was on the paper and I’m
still doing that I mean in regards to
performances in regards to drawing in
regards to my furniture in regards to
all the things that I’ve ever tried to
do it’s still not as good as it is in my
head and that’s crazy it is it’s weird
but I think my whole life has been
trying to match up with this thing in
this vision that I have in my head and I
don’t think I’ll ever get there but it’s
fun to try in terms of picking what to
do I want to report to all of you my
whole life I’ve never succeeded much in
something I wasn’t interested in so I
don’t think you’re gonna succeed if
we’re doing all day doesn’t interest you
and you’ve got to find something you’re
interested in because it’s just too much
to expect a human nature that you’re
gonna be very good at something you
deeply dislike doing and and so that’s
that’s one big issue and of course you
have to play in a game where you’ve got
some unusual talents you don’t know I
want to play if you’re five foot one you
don’t want to play basketball against
guys it’d be three it’s just too hard
and so you’ve got to figure out a game
where you you have a date it has to be
something you’re deeply interested in
how good my day was today in jujitsu I
got there five to ten I warmed up it’s a
jumping jacks and push-ups
I did some bridges I’ve got a few hip
escapes that’s long and vMac it’s a long
thing when I got in my garden like with
John beat me up and he passed my god
every time every I didn’t submit me
buddy past my guard every day but here’s
the beauty of it here’s on my contrast
my guard and I move my legs oh my god
I’m gonna half guard basically all the
times pause the end woman Henry got
there
I wanted to deep-ass and I went the
wrong direction but in my world I wanted
the D path I wouldn’t have done that six
months ago I don’t even know how it
worked and guess what I drew is bounced
do you understand me yeah of course and
you have to do the same thing with
comedy or anything like that you have to
take little accomplishments and not lose
your mind when you do get a big
accomplishment yeah look at it in
perspective oh okay this is why that
happened at least I know it can happen
again now if it happens again I’m a
Badman you know but if I have no and
that’s like that’s like you know for a
comic okay I come to see this really
happened to me Eddie this really
happened to me some guy used to give me
a lot of work cool
I still talk to him this is back in
Denver 25 23 years ago this guy used to
give me working when they called me up
he got me a gig one night and before
you’re on stage I gonna do a new but I
worked on everyday you know your
students could do you see him every day
he goes to 15
you know and this is 1995 rapido economy
for years I was struggling to do 1516 I
would struggle ready
this one the one outside of seungjae he
was what he was supposed to give me
alive at 12 but he went out I started
some check
I just kept already I just kept going
and I had him and he came back in and he
wanted he gave me the light then when I
got off he goes way everything goes dogs
I’m sorry is check if you end up doing
38 minutes I couldn’t sleep that night
because I never dreamt of doing 38
minutes but I did it do you understand
if you two came to me and Ed Joey I’m
gonna bind do 20 I would have choked I
was a straight-up chump but since there
was no clock in my mind yeah that’s when
I knew you know I’m sorry little I went
home that night I almost call CA the CBS
and supply they let them just where the
guy you’re walking so high it’s such a
big accomplishment it’s such a big
accomplice are the ones that keep you in
the game okay I did 38 I’ll do it for a
year you bomb you can’t do 30 you just
bump but eventually if you just think it
hotdog you’re gonna make you know it’s a
nightmare but it’s so much fun
no one’s died going to the other side
taking a selfie comeback posted it on
Instagram go look at me here in heaven
hashtag pearly gates
right no we don’t know we have our
beliefs and some of us hold strong to
our beliefs but we really don’t know
what happens at the point of that so
most of us don’t like to think about it
so we live our lives like we’re gonna
live forever but the truth is we don’t
live forever
you’ve never seen a 500 year old man or
a thousand year old woman we’ve been
evolving on this planet for about
million two million years
we all die at some point when you
realize that life is finite it’s not
short and you see this cute little
throats on Instagram saying life is
short be happy I think that’s wrong life
is not short life is actually a very
very long but it’s definitely finite
there’s a definitive end to it for sure
when you realize that life is finite you
become clear of all of a sudden who and
what’s important in your life you learn
from failure you learn from getting hit
in the pocket the pocket you follow me
when you’re giving somebody half your
money you sell your house and you learn
I made a mistake next time I’m gonna
play a little closer to my chest that’s
how you learn in life it’s not by
reading a book because you’re not gonna
listen to read the heart of wars will
teach you how to or the war of art isn’t
teach you how to plan and strategize or
both kind of nah get rid of your fears
or whatever but it’s not gonna tell you
what to do and what not to do what’s a
mistake and what’s not a mistake nobody
knows the tool you think Kenny Rogers
when he invested enough chicken company
he thought that no you know they came to
him with a deal no until you try it you
don’t get smart by his reading of Vogler
reading about Nostradamus you get smart
by family and then you decide what
you’re not not gonna do no more I won’t
be doing that you know if your politics
the media the tech industry working as
an entrepreneur or a teacher or a
construction worker or a caregiver you
know the problems we are all facing and
I urge each one of you to ask yourselves
what do we do now
that’s a big question what is it in your
life that you think you cannot
accomplish or what is it that people
have said that you cannot do wouldn’t it
feel really good to prove them all wrong
my closest friends and my mom and my
closest confidants always say that I’m
very determined and very stubborn and
pushy and then it could be a good thing
and it can be a bad thing like it
definitely gets me what I want what I
want to need and I’m very vocal about
things in blunt but but you sort of have
to be that way you have to be your own
your own agent your own advocate in your
own you have to go for what you want to
be repetitive mindset proceeds
excellence and that competitive mindset
is trainable it’s not just words that we
can throw around there’s actually ways
to train it so for calm one of the ways
that you train is through breathing if
you want to relax your system just a
little bit one deep breath is the
beginnings of being able to do that if
you know that you get a little too amped
up in some types of situations and then
you say to yourself well I’ll just
breathe when I get there you’re you’re
way too late and so it’s this this
consistent process of training your mind
to train your body to be able to relax
on command and that takes time and that
takes practice
and those of you who who struggle maybe
with public speaking or sharing things
that are intimate this would be a
beautiful practice to begin and it’s not
more complicated than setting your timer
for maybe two three minutes maybe six
minutes and just follow your breathing
and that would also be the beginnings of
a mindfulness practice so you can bridge
the two together so we look when we’re
working with competitors and we’re
looking at how they naturally breathe
just in conversation when they start
breathing up here it’s like they’re
closer to choking than you can imagine
and if you just take a test for yourself
and you if you just took a deep breath
right now so just you can do it
privately and quietly do you start your
breath here or do you start it here
naturally babies will start it here and
it’s the most efficient breath down here
because you get the lower lungs
activated
and if we’re getting into the game of
high-performance what we’re talking
about is being extremely efficient with
our systems the most efficient we can be
and breathing up in your upper lungs is
really inefficient and it brings us
closer to the opportunities that where
we start to decelerate our ability to be
progressive in thought and progressive
in form and so we want to accelerate all
that by having effective breathing but
you have to train it and I find even
with myself that it’s really hard to do
a minimum viable product this minimum
that you’re constantly thinking no no it
really has to have this other partner it
really has to have this and then you
over build and then you have to unbilled
and D build which is very disappointing
so doing a Minimum Viable Product is
really important and it’s even more
minimum than you think it is from the
time I was seven years old
every Saturday I would go for four hours
of acting class every Saturday whoa and
I loved it I just left it till the point
with all the kids graduated and went on
this other stuff and I started doing
adult acting classes and then I was in
the commercial classes and then I loved
like the hair and makeup classes and
just everything I just couldn’t get
enough honestly I think everyone is
different and unique and that’s a good
thing it’s not bad it’s kind of the best
thing in the world you don’t want to be
like everyone else growing up in high
school and just doing your high just
your whole life really either you have
been taught to feel like or you want to
be like everyone else because
conceptually you’ll you’ll be included
and you’ll be like the crowd but when
you think about it when you look at
people like Lady Gaga who is so crazy
and so different and so unique and her
whole message is about you know being
yourself and being okay with it and she
the reason she is so successful and so
is because she’s talented because she’s
different if she was just like Britney
Spears or if she was just like Nina mean
Nina Dobrev then there would be two of
us other
nothing special about that so I think
what’s what’s special is the fact that
you’re different and is the fact that
you’re unique and that you can bring
something to the table so if anything
embrace that that that uniqueness and
that that’s thing that you have that no
one else does and expand upon it and
make it better and tell everyone about
it and be confident in it because if
you’re confident and happy and smiling
you will attract confidence happiness
and laughter I stay pretty true to
whatever my instincts are as an artist
sometimes for worse at first because I
think when you do something that’s out
of the norm you have to keep doing it
for a little while to make it your own
norm so it’s an exciting idea to me that
I could be putting a record out and
being able to be my own person to not
have to think about what I can’t say or
can’t do because I don’t want to lose
people’s understanding of what I do as a
convention you know so I’m really
excited about the idea of people going
oh no that’s him that’s him I really
didn’t have anybody taking me on the
road I remember I would work with
certain people but I would never ask
them to take me on the road there were a
few people who did take me on the road
with them like Jordan and Rick turns but
I always knew that I didn’t want to be
that guy I knew that I wanted to always
be able to do my own thing not just to
sit at home and wait for that beck and
call do you know I’m saying wait that’s
the type of person that I wanted to be
like I was still at the Comedy Store and
I was still I did all those Mexican
rooms in South LA every single one of
them every night a week that’s what pays
of my addiction but at the same time not
knowing I was also becoming a better
comedian because I would go into deep
terrain four nights a week and then go
to the comedy store everything is
hunky-dory you follow me you know this
there’s places where he people come
prepared to left and there’s places but
it’s a bar and you got to go up there
and blow your dough off to get their
attention I mean I think the difference
between someone who ultimately is
successful and someone who isn’t is just
will it getting up and trying again and
I feel like I’ve seen that in my life
again to other people is that things get
hard and people try again and things get
hard and people might try again might
not and then things get hard and they
just don’t try again and giving up is is
is can’t be an option and I think that
that goes back to the core of making
sure that whatever it is you’re doing is
something that you love to do something
that you enjoy something that maybe if
you didn’t even get paid would you still
do it and I think that’s what pulls you
through those times ultimately but and
that’s what keeps you coming back for
more and that’s what that passion and
that love for what it is that you do is
what keeps you going so would you say
your resilience and that persistence is
because you love what you do so much or
is there something about your parents or
anything in your upbringing you think
it’s I mean I think that genetically I
have a deterrent I’m determined because
my dad was very much like that for sure
very persistent and determined but I
think it’s also because I found
something that I love to do and there’s
plenty of other stuff that I’ve done
that I didn’t keep doing I mean I didn’t
keep playing basketball let’s face it
but I kept racing and so it was about
finding that I feel and finding it
really young I’m very fortunate that I
found it really young and I I tell
everyone young or old is just if you
could have if you could do anything in
the world what would you do well why
can’t you do that then at least start at
least try to make an effort at doing it
you’re not gonna get there within one
shot but but you just got to take baby
steps and opportunities along the way
and I feel like especially like people
get out of college and they have this
idea of what they want to do and they’re
holding out until they get it just get
going you know just get working and get
the experience and and
and start working your way there I
haven’t actually been given a piece of
advice that I can recall right now but I
guess when anyone asks me like what
should I do I’m just like just do
anything anything will lead to something
else and and you just got to get out
there and take a chance even if it’s
unpaid work whatever it is it will lead
to something better so do everything yep
do it all and kind of like a crazy
person on a prep I do i do timelines and
backstories and I work with a dialect
coach and a movement coach and an acting
coach and I just yeah I need to do a lot
before I show up to certain so I can
throw it all out the window when I get
on set but if I hadn’t done all the work
beforehand I would just be too scared to
did you watch a lot of footage of Tonya
Harding and I’ve watched every single
piece of footage there’s on her hello a
thousand times over and I would had a
voice in my ipod I’d go to sleep
listening to I mean I like lived in
Tanya Lane for for a long time we’re
only gonna go as far as you think you’re
worthy mmm I can push you can push you
you can have the greatest product but if
you don’t feel worthy you will work hard
to sabotage that relationship you don’t
know you don’t know you’re doing you
think these are the things I need and
you’re driving that guy away you’re
driving that woman away because your
self-worth says they weren’t gonna stay
forever anyway or I’m self-worth around
money you have a cat that you feel like
you’re worthy of a million dollars you
will always get to 999 four thousand and
you will stop because your self-worth
says it what’s a good exercise or
process that we can follow on a daily
basis maybe something simple to enhance
our enrichment absolutely worthiness
absolutely I did this for six months
every single day right after I brush my
teeth and it’s the ICU exercise and you
get in the mirror now it’s not
necessarily simple because because you
delivered yourself of course and as
complicated as you are will be the
degree panic addicts are very yes I
appreciate that distinction um you get
in the mirror and you complete three
different sentences you want to write
this down the first sentence you look at
yourself and you say your name so you
would say Louis and you complete this is
I’m proud that you and find seven
different things every day does
celebrate yourself for seven different
each day you can do the same thing you
did the day before
but each they do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years did that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles cuz if you can still think
about it is filling your energy space
and then the third sentence is Louis I
commit to you that before you make a
commitment to anybody else throughout
your day you make seven commitments to
you so the first sentence I’m proud that
you you’re celebrating yourself first we
are under celebrated as a as a society
we look for acknowledgement they enter
they interviewed a hundred executives
that all made over a quarter of a
million dollars and said would you like
a five percent raise next year or would
you rather be told thank you more often
100 percent 100 percent said keep your
money I’d rather hear thank you so we’re
under celebrated but first celebrate you
be the example when I was on Oprah when
she said what do you do I said I
recognize that I’m the example of how
the rest of the world is supposed to
treat me and it’s my job to give the
world the best example of how I like to
be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that everybody didn’t use yeah you go to
a job whatever the god the boss wants
all he wants out of you that’s right but
if you don’t get what you’re supposed to
get you messed up that’s right no matter
what that if my job is cleaning and
picking up and doing my thing
and I’m like I got a bad attitude and
not making it happen it’s gonna suck for
me but if I’m like yo wait a minute I
can get a business I hire some other
people to clean and edit and you look
you got a janitor job you got a whole
janitor position where you could turn
this thing into a business then you took
everything you needed to take out of
that job it’s a different mindset and
I’m telling you yes you
used yes but get everything you supposed
to get and move on there’s a gap between
who people are and what they tell you
they want to accomplish because in the
beginning I hired everyone everyone
right not because I’m super smart and
thought hey I should there was no one
else right like we had the smallest
handful of people ever and so I started
doing the interviewing as I was doing it
I start realizing God these guys tell me
they want to do something amazing with
their life and if you just listen like
wow yeah like I want to be in your team
dude you’re gonna do amazing stuff and
then you realize I can’t execute on that
dream so if I can’t they they don’t have
the mindset yet like there’s a you could
do an entire podcast series on how to
get the mindset but I’ll just use Carol
Dweck and her amazing voting mindset as
I’m sure such a good book I see Simon’s
the neck up there who is also very
influential in us and she says some
people either believe they’re smart is
there ever gonna be and that’s that so
they’re gonna be ego protective and
they’re gonna you know try to thwart
anything that makes them feel like
they’re not the smartest person or
whatever and then there’s people with a
growth mindset and they realize I’m not
the smartest person and I’m certainly
not as smart as I could be yeah so even
if I am the smartest person ever lived I
could get a little bit smarter and so
when they’re confronted with
contradictory information they learn and
they soak it up like as other people our
fixed mindset right correct it’s done
like no this is the way and I’m writing
that’s wrong yes and I would say the
world everyone’s on a spectrum right
even I as much as I believe in it and
work my ass off to be a growth mindset
I still have let’s call it 10% where I
catch myself in like come on dude you
know better than that yeah but so people
that fall unless they sub 50% spectrum
of the growth mindset it’s got to be 98
percent number one thing you have to do
before you set out on any other goal or
any other course is to define your
expectations number one thing on the
outside of every single project record
tour define your expectations everyone
in this room wants to make it but I
question how you would recognize making
it what is making it well what do you
want to be
who here wants a record deal would it be
nice to ever be nice have a record deal
right we don’t a record deal okay well
what does a record deal look like now
what is making it look like would you
want to sell a million copies two
million copies well okay let’s say
selling two million copies is like
selling talent 10 million copies 10
years ago so let’s say you say to
yourself my expectation is that I want
to be an artist and I wanted to put
records out and I want to sell millions
of copies if that’s your expectation
great then you sort of skip straight to
another questionnaire you know okay if
you answered yes – do I want to be a pop
star do I want to make music for as many
people as possible now you have to sort
of change your game to fit the
expectation you now have to wonder about
is your song shorter than four minutes
do you get to your core as fast enough
these are these are the things you have
to absolutely do and you also have to
compromise and you also have to play the
game and by defining your expectations
if you decide that you want to be a pop
star that’s not a dirty word
it just means pop just means popular
Frank Sinatra was a pop star Jimi
Hendrix was a pop star lots of people
would pop stars what kind of pop star
lots people with jazz musicians what
kind of jazz musician you can define the
genre any way you want so if you said
you want to be a pop star then you have
to look at your songs there’s also
people here who are a little dishonest
about what they really want to be and I
think if you want to be famous if you
want to make music for as many people as
possible just come out and say it
don’t say I want to be indeed it’s gonna
be an independent artist and really
secretly wish that you wanted to be a
pop star because from the from them from
the very beginning it’s disingenuous
there’s nothing wrong with saying I want
to play music for as many people as
possible without compromising the things
that I have to be as an artist and
that’s what I’ve done
Sony Music doesn’t come into the studio
when I’m making a record but I also know
what’s going to be a hit or what stands
the chance of being a hit and what just
does it and it’s a level of honesty with
yourself
that you have to have before you had
your music out to anybody else so that’s
sort of what I want to say about
expectations if you only recognize
success as a record deal and a big fat
Publishers Clearing House oversized
Tiger Woods check and a dinner and then
going to the top of the roof and
screaming most of you will be stunning
failures every single day that we wake
up we have been gifted the opportunity
of choice you can choose to be happy or
you can choose to be sad I don’t care
what your situation is you should never
allow your situation to define who you
are as a person I know I lived out of my
car for two and a half years and you
know the story that I told about myself
in my head every day all day long why
does this person get this why does it
why’s this always keep happening to me
why do I keep getting this girlfriend
this kind of girlfriend why does this
happen to me how come this person got
this record deal that didn’t how come
this person why oh poor pity me shut up
Darren Jones the outside is the physical
manifestation of what goes on inside the
brain things do not just happen no one
just rear-ends your car you don’t just
become broke broke is a mindset things
don’t just happen your pocketbook is not
just below balance or on zero you’re not
just over just by chance you’re just
over weight things don’t just happen I
wasn’t just living out of my car for two
and a half years the outside is the
physical manifestation of what goes on
inside the brain just like you can think
yourself sad or mad or broke and all of
these things you can also think yourself
happy
I’m telling you coming from a guy that
lived out of this car for two and a half
years I have stuff that I haven’t even
posted online
day 1 day 2 day 3 day 4 day month like
month year it came it was so bad that I
was not with emotion numb with emotions
crying myself to sleep cry myself to
sleep in my Jeep how does a guy with so
much passion live in his car for two and
a half years it was all because of me I
deserved to live in my car I deserved to
be broke I deserved not to have the
opportunities that I should have been
getting and they weren’t for me but I’ll
tell you what was for me I woke up every
day with an opportunity to choose
different if you want something
different you have to do something
different it’s that simple
you want something different in life you
have to do something different I don’t
have to give power not only I do not
have to give power to my negative
thoughts I don’t have to give power to
strangers thoughts like people say dumb
stuff all the time and if you don’t like
the way I look or you don’t like the way
I dress
it still doesn’t affect the fact that
I’m still gonna go and be successful and
I’m still gonna go and be the person
that I’m supposed to be even if you
don’t like me what advice to give to
people who focus on other people’s words
all the time how do they move past that
and not let it affect them I think it’s
just I recommend just it’s a practice
it’s literally a practice and I’ve one
thing I’ve started to do especially on
like social media or even if it’s maybe
I’m out on the streets and someone has
something mean to say I will smile
like and I’ve been working with Yahoo
Justin sue eyes
so Justin sua is a swing sports
psychologist and he works a lot of MLB
players and he’s been working with me
and something like he was really helping
me prepare for the regional because I
was already like weeks leading up like
an emotional like a roller coaster like
I think that I hadn’t quite yet felt
things or let myself feel things that
sorry I’ve like touched my mic a million
times let myself feel things that were a
natural response to what I had been
through and I was starting to feel them
like I would be completely fine and then
all of a sudden I was like I could I
could just like start crying my body I
felt anxiety in my body like not just in
my my heart or my solar my head it was
like physically in my legs and my arms
and something he talked about was like
every time you know if I have a worry or
a stress or maybe I have like a negative
thought about my own performance or
something come into my head he’s like
just like smile at it and like and let
it go and I do that and I do it
physically I think about it I I remind
myself that it doesn’t it really doesn’t
matter and we have thoughts all day we
have thoughts all the time and one of
the best things someone told me one day
as he said you know think of it it’s
like like okay the birds what they say
birds that fly over your head we have no
control over them but what we can
control if is if we let them build a
nest in our hair so it’s like we might
have these thoughts so people might say
some things but we can just let them go
mmm
and if we you know pay attention to them
or give them power that’s when it’s just
gonna start like stirring and she’s
gonna create problems and so I
definitely am practicing it all the time
you know you know and practicing
celebrating myself a little bit more I’m
not super great at receiving compliment
mm-hm or talking about myself for the
matter and I think that’s also stuff
that I dealt with like what the imposter
syndrome type thing like I knew I know
that I’m doing a lot of really amazing
things and and having great opportunity
and it’s not because it’s just like
because I’m a fluke and people are like
for a second thing I’m you know
qualified it’s because I am doing things
because I am good at business it’s
because I am good with people it’s
because I I do work hard for my goals I
do want to help people I do love making
people happy you know I love building
businesses and working with teams of
people that want to be successful and
make changes and differences that’s all
real and so I’m getting a lot better at
not only letting things go that will
only cause grief even though that grief
won’t make a difference and what if I
wake up and get out of bed tomorrow I
might like that you nuts the thing –
it’s like realizing what is that it’s
not gonna change what you do like
tomorrow you’re just gonna get up
usually getting out of bed I’m sure
gonna go to work so realize that if you
you have you haven’t lost chances to be
a better person you haven’t lost chances
to love yourself you haven’t lost
chances to like be successful because we
have all these moments where you
literally can just just do it just be
the person that you want to be just
smile at the people that walk on the
street because you do want to be a happy
person you know it’s just you just get
to do it
you’re gonna play big say big you’re
gonna play huge say huge you’re gonna
play ginormous a ginormous
but first take baby steps
you’re gonna eat the elephant but take
one small bite first chew it good right
we want so much so fast my grandmother
says baby she starts every sentence with
baby I’m sure it’s because she cannot
remember all of our names she’s a baby
the best things you’ll ever have from
Grandma will never come from the
microwave they always come from the oven
and I was like I think some somehow
she’s trying to give me a lesson here
and I realized that the best things that
you’re gonna create are gonna take time
build it on cement not sinking saying
you’re gonna get tons and tons and tons
of tools here and you’re gonna want to
fast forward when you fast forward
you’re building on Plexiglas you’ve been
on styrofoam you’ve been on wood you
want to build it on semen your dream is
important enough to outlive you yes yes
and so I realized that that you can’t
Google download resiliency you can’t
Google download tenacity
you can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience
I want patience I’m waiting for pick
somebody’s gonna piss you off tomorrow
and now you get to test of your patience
I realized I realized that as I wanted
to develop me I have to be willing to
climb and I wanted to get to the top and
there’s no elevator to the top I got to
do my squats I got to work on my quads
and my hamstrings and my calves cuz I
gotta climb to the top
we got a climb I just feel like advice
that I would that I would give it’s just
like let yourself be so consumed in in
your art or whatever your passion is
it’s literally the greatest feeling in
the world it’s like love like it’s you
know to just let yourself be just like
swallowed whole by what makes you feel
alive and what connects you to you know
the universe and in that inner voice it
there’s nothing more more beautiful than
that and it’s such a it’s such a
selfless thing to share that you know to
share that with the world because I
think
I love that there’s and there’s this
quote I can’t remember it word for word
but this guy’s has something like share
your share your talent and share your
dreams with the world because what the
world needs is more people who come
alive something something along those
lines but yeah because you know by you
just expressing yourself
you kind of ignite you can you know
ignite a fire in somebody else to
express them so some way you know like
and that was just I would just make us
all like so much happier that’s people
you know what I mean like just do
everything do everything for love and
you’ll you’ll feel so fulfilled what do
I want to do like what what movies do I
want to make what television shows hmm I
want to put into the world because it’s
a lot of work it’s I feel like I’ve done
all that other work I did a lot of stuff
for a lot of other people yeah I want to
put something in it that is more
representative of Who I am as a person
I feel really shy after drinking because
I don’t ever drink yeah you know I feel
like you make decisions you cut things
out your diet and put them in based on
one what your goal is and two what are
your non-negotiable is like what makes
you happy right I got non-negotiable
having like a beer on the weekend cuz
that’s what you like in the social
aspects awesome like cool that and
that’s nice nothing wrong with that I
think when you start looking at
something because you’re making maybe
your new goal is like something’s wrong
with your health right now it’s like
okay well now what is the most important
and is that more important than a beer
well yeah well then I can get rid of the
beer it’s always should be like what’s
my goal and then what are the things
they also happiness is very important
too you know like I after realizing it
so many times
I’m just a happier person I feel better
if I’m not hungover I mean I really I
had to I wanted to be open about it as
I’d been from the very beginning it was
from an athletes perspective it was one
of the toughest things that I had to go
through and I feel like sharing that
feeling that I had
the vulnerability that I had to carry
myself with and for someone that’s so
strong and like mentally tough and have
always I mean at 6 to like you know
passionate about what she does it felt
really small with one of the first three
times in my life where I would just I
didn’t want to right I didn’t want to
continue writing the book it took a long
time to put those words onto paper and I
felt that that was an important it’s
part of my journey it’s part of the
reason why my book is called unstoppable
because I’ve had this mentality from a
very young age that no matter what is
thrown at you there there it’s going to
be roadblocks and you have to overcome
them and you can and I also know
career-wise how important it is not to
be too highly specialized especially
these days in the world of media it is
crucial to have multiple interests and
skillsets to have tried and possibly
failed and many different undertakings
the young people that we hired today at
Conde Nast are fearless polymaths
hardworking and passionate creative and
curious don’t solicit feedback on your
product your idea or your business just
for validation purposes be really
careful about that you want to tell the
people that can help move your idea
forward but if you’re just looking to
your friend coworker husband wife for
validation be careful because out of
love and concern a lot of people will
express some concerns and it can stop a
lot of multi-million dollar ideas we
right in their tracks in the beginning
you will never know the answer unless if
you ask and that’s what my father always
taught me he’s like you’re never gonna
know if you don’t ask so ask and that’s
what I do and that’s kind of how I also
am community I communicate with my team
we know we’re a team but also we know
that we can talk very directly to each
other because that’s how we set it up
from the beginning
and whoever the boss is you set the tone
you know this is your arena so how are
you set the tone is the way things are
gonna go so I always set the tone with
kindness first and then let’s get ish done baby
research at AU pen that just writing
down at the end of the day three amazing
things that you experienced has a
significant impact in life satisfaction
it can it can impact your relationships
with others if you are depressed people
that came into his study stabilize their
depression people that were not
depressed that came into their study
after a I think was one month three
month and six month follow-up they had a
significant overall increase in their
overall life satisfaction it’s as simple
as brightening out three amazing things
right and so that’s one way to train
optimism in gratitude you find yourself
in New York the world is ending
financial crisis yeah and there’s
probably a lot of Wall Street people at
that moment that need a monk yeah
probably
is that who you that that your customer
base like who do you start sitting with
to try to help them mainly entrepreneurs
so I didn’t know very much about
business and I wanted to surround myself
at financially successful entrepreneurs
so I started using some tools to create
it in my mind and surround myself with
successful entrepreneurs and I just
haven’t yeah you start attracting people
if you start to change the shape of your
mind you know by using some techniques
you you start attracting like-minded
people into your life say and so the
first one comes the second one comes
before you know you’re the center of
entrepreneurial network two things one
is I wanted to work with that group of
people second is I wanted to build a
business that’s successful and where do
I son I figured I could go to business
school forget that I’ll learn from
someone who’s done it and done it really
well so I chose the second option and I
thought if I surrounded myself with
these people I could just learn from
them and believe in in the power of a
community so there’s this very famous
story from Napoleon Hills Think and Grow
Rich where a general a long long time
ago takes his troops on a few boats and
sails to an island for a battle and as
the troops get off the get off the boat
and the general goes out to survey his
enemy the general sees that the enemy is
out numbering his troops ten to one
so he comes up with a strategy the
general lines up his troops lights a
match and sets the ships on fire and by
burning the ships he gives us troops an
option either you win or you die and
sure enough they want and when it comes
to burning your ships in your life this
is the most personal part because this
is when you’re almost at the end of your
journey this is the part that makes the
difference between chasing the dream in
achieving your dream and only you deep
down know what your version of burning
airships are so I want to challenge you
when you’re at that final point of your
make it your final bullet go all ships
in and when you get to that point burn
your ships just the last 15 minutes of
this path cast was so strong from Monday
morning about like where it all starts
with your mind people don’t really
believe it but it’s true Rudy for me it
started when I said I’m getting into
comedy I don’t give my credit bureau
I don’t give a but the credit card
people I don’t you about the bank’s
about what I Drive you about what my
clothes on because at the end it doesn’t
really matter unless you’re happy for
years I worried about my job and I gotta
have white sneakers or nothing I have a
black shirt on it who gives up at the
end of the day I wasn’t happy
I wasn’t happy I didn’t get happy till I
started driving cross-country with a
pair of shorts on and stinky sneakers
the t-shirt and you got three pair of
jeans and three shirts and they’re
lasting you all week dog you got like
four pair of socks and you get on a
stage that’s what I really started
getting happy when I started waking up
in the morning and knew I had to drive
200 miles and I had 30 to 50 in quarters
and I had to get lunch with that reefer
and gas to get me to that next location
for some reason I’d be happy a lot
happier than making 1,200 a week and
paying my bills I was like this is what
I like I like this so it’s food for
thought sometimes it’s not about the
money or the dollars it’s about what
brings a smile to your face and once you
find that let yourself go don’t think
about it don’t look back yeah don’t
compare prices yeah don’t listen to your
uncle about taking their roofing job for
1254 stability yeah you know what
stability is overrated dog stability is
overrated absolutely I think happiness
is doing what you want sort of health
and even in there Broadway I was in
County for I was in comedy for 12 years
before I saw it time yeah we were
getting paid but nothing to write home
about I could have quit at any time in
those 12 years and found a job I would
have trick somebody into being an indoor
salesman I didn’t want to do that I
would have rather live on eight thousand
a year and do my own thing and around at
night smoke pot with your stupid buddies
and get on stage and go into an office
insurance who gives a when you
think about the insurance that’s when
you need insurance
the fifth 4:30 is I ran around with
noise shows that never happened to me
but you’ve got this
I really like the titles I really want
to go after it I’m Way intense I want to
win I’m all-in getting in that kind of
shape is brutally difficult but then at
the same time you can balance it with
the playfulness and it’s not all about
that how have you learned to strike that
balance and
maybe more importantly how do you teach
other people to do that mmm
I’ve learned if I don’t learn to strike
that balance that when I go to extreme
in either one I’m not I I’m not happy I
feel very scattered I feel frantic I
feel crazy so I think that for me when I
start feeling a little bit chaotic so
for me it shows up in a very like
grasping for straws things aren’t
happening like I’m running into a wall
like the feeling of banging your head
against a wall that’s what it feels like
for me and I know a lot of people can
relate to that and I think especially a
lot of people in Fitness might get into
it to kind of like maybe they’re anxious
or it calms their nerves because I think
I run really on the anxious side so for
me if I don’t learn how to control that
I’ll go to the extreme of something so
it’s a must for me I actually think it’s
a must for everyone to kind of find how
to dance in the different categories of
your life because we’re not just one
thing and when we go all in on one thing
were severely neglecting the other parts
of us which makes for an empty human you
know which makes for someone who doesn’t
feel who never feels full so I have to
remember that there’s so many parts of
me that I need to make sure that I’m
fulfilling all right so going into the
darkness I think everybody is motivated
by two different things one you have the
beautiful things in your life the things
that are going well the things that
you’re grateful for the things you’re
moving towards instead of a way you have
a compelling vision of your future it’s
something that you’re very excited about
all of those things are the beautiful
things now the flip side of that
equation are the things that it’s people
that doubt you it’s haters it’s things
you’re moving away from
it’s fear-based things it’s something
that you absolutely refuse to let happen
so one that is incredibly potent to me
are the people that want to see me fail
so it’s very different than people who
just think you’re going to fail I
actually don’t have a lot of aggression
towards people like that but people that
want me to fail
those people I have a lot of aggression
for and I find in very acute moments the
darkness serves you better in very acute
moments now the light the things you’re
moving towards the things that are
beautiful the things that you’re
grateful for all of that is the only
winning strategy long term because the
darkness becomes corrosive you start to
become bitter you start to be angry you
stop being optimistic you stop seeing
things in a way that’s empowering and
positive and I mean just thinking about
the deep limbic system when it gets
inflamed you perceive things as negative
I think negativity stops people from
making progress there’s a whole host of
neurological reasons and the sort of
mindset reasons why I think that being
negative over the long run becomes very
very detrimental and hold you back but
from an acute standpoint they’ve done
Studies on this if you want someone to
be able to endure more pain the surest
way to get people to endure more pain is
to let them get angry let them be
aggressive and in doing that people are
able to withstand in the clinical trials
I’ll say that’s probably more than this
but in clinical trials they’re able to
withstand 30% more pain so just straight
being able to take more pain anger and
aggression lets you do 30% more so
that’s why I think in acute ways and
short-term bursts that the darkness will
serve you
I’ve always been left-handed right
brained and very visual about everything
in my life and I remember it was I have
an older brother and a younger sister
and when my mom was uh when my brother
was off to school I was about four you
know five years where I hadn’t gone to
kindergarten yet I used to just sit and
draw all day long and it was something
where I remember being inside of a
painting or a picture or a drawing and
time would stop I would be there for
almost I I remember starting a pod wrong
or whatever and it was turning tonight
it would be eight hours have gone by and
it felt like literally 20 minutes and I
got better and better and and but but
this is a deal to is that I was always
always
disappointed as an artist because it
never looked the way I wanted it to look
so every drawing every painting became
this effort to make what was in my head
match what was on the paper and I’m
still doing that I mean in regards to
performances in regards to drawing in
regards to my furniture in regards to
all the things that I’ve ever tried to
do it’s still not as good as it is in my
head and that’s crazy it is it’s weird
but I think my whole life has been
trying to match up with this thing in
this vision that I have in my head and I
don’t think I’ll ever get there but it’s
fun to try in terms of picking what to
do I want to report to all of you my
whole life I’ve never succeeded much in
something I wasn’t interested in so I
don’t think you’re gonna succeed if
we’re doing all day doesn’t interest you
and you’ve got to find something you’re
interested in because it’s just too much
to expect a human nature that you’re
gonna be very good at something you
deeply dislike doing and and so that’s
that’s one big issue and of course you
have to play in a game where you’ve got
some unusual talents you don’t know I
want to play if you’re five foot one you
don’t want to play basketball against
guys it’d be three it’s just too hard
and so you’ve got to figure out a game
where you you have a date it has to be
something you’re deeply interested in
how good my day was today in jujitsu I
got there five to ten I warmed up it’s a
jumping jacks and push-ups
I did some bridges I’ve got a few hip
escapes that’s long and vMac it’s a long
thing when I got in my garden like with
John beat me up and he passed my god
every time every I didn’t submit me
buddy past my guard every day but here’s
the beauty of it here’s on my contrast
my guard and I move my legs oh my god
I’m gonna half guard basically all the
times pause the end woman Henry got
there
I wanted to deep-ass and I went the
wrong direction but in my world I wanted
the D path I wouldn’t have done that six
months ago I don’t even know how it
worked and guess what I drew is bounced
do you understand me yeah of course and
you have to do the same thing with
comedy or anything like that you have to
take little accomplishments and not lose
your mind when you do get a big
accomplishment yeah look at it in
perspective oh okay this is why that
happened at least I know it can happen
again now if it happens again I’m a
Badman you know but if I have no and
that’s like that’s like you know for a
comic okay I come to see this really
happened to me Eddie this really
happened to me some guy used to give me
a lot of work cool
I still talk to him this is back in
Denver 25 23 years ago this guy used to
give me working when they called me up
he got me a gig one night and before
you’re on stage I gonna do a new but I
worked on everyday you know your
students could do you see him every day
he goes to 15
you know and this is 1995 rapido economy
for years I was struggling to do 1516 I
would struggle ready
this one the one outside of seungjae he
was what he was supposed to give me
alive at 12 but he went out I started
some check
I just kept already I just kept going
and I had him and he came back in and he
wanted he gave me the light then when I
got off he goes way everything goes dogs
I’m sorry is check if you end up doing
38 minutes I couldn’t sleep that night
because I never dreamt of doing 38
minutes but I did it do you understand
if you two came to me and Ed Joey I’m
gonna bind do 20 I would have choked I
was a straight-up chump but since there
was no clock in my mind yeah that’s when
I knew you know I’m sorry little I went
home that night I almost call CA the CBS
and supply they let them just where the
guy you’re walking so high it’s such a
big accomplishment it’s such a big
accomplice are the ones that keep you in
the game okay I did 38 I’ll do it for a
year you bomb you can’t do 30 you just
bump but eventually if you just think it
hotdog you’re gonna make you know it’s a
nightmare but it’s so much fun
no one’s died going to the other side
taking a selfie comeback posted it on
Instagram go look at me here in heaven
hashtag pearly gates
right no we don’t know we have our
beliefs and some of us hold strong to
our beliefs but we really don’t know
what happens at the point of that so
most of us don’t like to think about it
so we live our lives like we’re gonna
live forever but the truth is we don’t
live forever
you’ve never seen a 500 year old man or
a thousand year old woman we’ve been
evolving on this planet for about
million two million years
we all die at some point when you
realize that life is finite it’s not
short and you see this cute little
throats on Instagram saying life is
short be happy I think that’s wrong life
is not short life is actually a very
very long but it’s definitely finite
there’s a definitive end to it for sure
when you realize that life is finite you
become clear of all of a sudden who and
what’s important in your life you learn
from failure you learn from getting hit
in the pocket the pocket you follow me
when you’re giving somebody half your
money you sell your house and you learn
I made a mistake next time I’m gonna
play a little closer to my chest that’s
how you learn in life it’s not by
reading a book because you’re not gonna
listen to read the heart of wars will
teach you how to or the war of art isn’t
teach you how to plan and strategize or
both kind of nah get rid of your fears
or whatever but it’s not gonna tell you
what to do and what not to do what’s a
mistake and what’s not a mistake nobody
knows the tool you think Kenny Rogers
when he invested enough chicken company
he thought that no you know they came to
him with a deal no until you try it you
don’t get smart by his reading of Vogler
reading about Nostradamus you get smart
by family and then you decide what
you’re not not gonna do no more I won’t
be doing that you know if your politics
the media the tech industry working as
an entrepreneur or a teacher or a
construction worker or a caregiver you
know the problems we are all facing and
I urge each one of you to ask yourselves
what do we do now
that’s a big question what is it in your
life that you think you cannot
accomplish or what is it that people
have said that you cannot do wouldn’t it
feel really good to prove them all wrong
my closest friends and my mom and my
closest confidants always say that I’m
very determined and very stubborn and
pushy and then it could be a good thing
and it can be a bad thing like it
definitely gets me what I want what I
want to need and I’m very vocal about
things in blunt but but you sort of have
to be that way you have to be your own
your own agent your own advocate in your
own you have to go for what you want to
be repetitive mindset proceeds
excellence and that competitive mindset
is trainable it’s not just words that we
can throw around there’s actually ways
to train it so for calm one of the ways
that you train is through breathing if
you want to relax your system just a
little bit one deep breath is the
beginnings of being able to do that if
you know that you get a little too amped
up in some types of situations and then
you say to yourself well I’ll just
breathe when I get there you’re you’re
way too late and so it’s this this
consistent process of training your mind
to train your body to be able to relax
on command and that takes time and that
takes practice
and those of you who who struggle maybe
with public speaking or sharing things
that are intimate this would be a
beautiful practice to begin and it’s not
more complicated than setting your timer
for maybe two three minutes maybe six
minutes and just follow your breathing
and that would also be the beginnings of
a mindfulness practice so you can bridge
the two together so we look when we’re
working with competitors and we’re
looking at how they naturally breathe
just in conversation when they start
breathing up here it’s like they’re
closer to choking than you can imagine
and if you just take a test for yourself
and you if you just took a deep breath
right now so just you can do it
privately and quietly do you start your
breath here or do you start it here
naturally babies will start it here and
it’s the most efficient breath down here
because you get the lower lungs
activated
and if we’re getting into the game of
high-performance what we’re talking
about is being extremely efficient with
our systems the most efficient we can be
and breathing up in your upper lungs is
really inefficient and it brings us
closer to the opportunities that where
we start to decelerate our ability to be
progressive in thought and progressive
in form and so we want to accelerate all
that by having effective breathing but
you have to train it and I find even
with myself that it’s really hard to do
a minimum viable product this minimum
that you’re constantly thinking no no it
really has to have this other partner it
really has to have this and then you
over build and then you have to unbilled
and D build which is very disappointing
so doing a Minimum Viable Product is
really important and it’s even more
minimum than you think it is from the
time I was seven years old
every Saturday I would go for four hours
of acting class every Saturday whoa and
I loved it I just left it till the point
with all the kids graduated and went on
this other stuff and I started doing
adult acting classes and then I was in
the commercial classes and then I loved
like the hair and makeup classes and
just everything I just couldn’t get
enough honestly I think everyone is
different and unique and that’s a good
thing it’s not bad it’s kind of the best
thing in the world you don’t want to be
like everyone else growing up in high
school and just doing your high just
your whole life really either you have
been taught to feel like or you want to
be like everyone else because
conceptually you’ll you’ll be included
and you’ll be like the crowd but when
you think about it when you look at
people like Lady Gaga who is so crazy
and so different and so unique and her
whole message is about you know being
yourself and being okay with it and she
the reason she is so successful and so
is because she’s talented because she’s
different if she was just like Britney
Spears or if she was just like Nina mean
Nina Dobrev then there would be two of
us other
nothing special about that so I think
what’s what’s special is the fact that
you’re different and is the fact that
you’re unique and that you can bring
something to the table so if anything
embrace that that that uniqueness and
that that’s thing that you have that no
one else does and expand upon it and
make it better and tell everyone about
it and be confident in it because if
you’re confident and happy and smiling
you will attract confidence happiness
and laughter I stay pretty true to
whatever my instincts are as an artist
sometimes for worse at first because I
think when you do something that’s out
of the norm you have to keep doing it
for a little while to make it your own
norm so it’s an exciting idea to me that
I could be putting a record out and
being able to be my own person to not
have to think about what I can’t say or
can’t do because I don’t want to lose
people’s understanding of what I do as a
convention you know so I’m really
excited about the idea of people going
oh no that’s him that’s him I really
didn’t have anybody taking me on the
road I remember I would work with
certain people but I would never ask
them to take me on the road there were a
few people who did take me on the road
with them like Jordan and Rick turns but
I always knew that I didn’t want to be
that guy I knew that I wanted to always
be able to do my own thing not just to
sit at home and wait for that beck and
call do you know I’m saying wait that’s
the type of person that I wanted to be
like I was still at the Comedy Store and
I was still I did all those Mexican
rooms in South LA every single one of
them every night a week that’s what pays
of my addiction but at the same time not
knowing I was also becoming a better
comedian because I would go into deep
terrain four nights a week and then go
to the comedy store everything is
hunky-dory you follow me you know this
there’s places where he people come
prepared to left and there’s places but
it’s a bar and you got to go up there
and blow your dough off to get their
attention I mean I think the difference
between someone who ultimately is
successful and someone who isn’t is just
will it getting up and trying again and
I feel like I’ve seen that in my life
again to other people is that things get
hard and people try again and things get
hard and people might try again might
not and then things get hard and they
just don’t try again and giving up is is
is can’t be an option and I think that
that goes back to the core of making
sure that whatever it is you’re doing is
something that you love to do something
that you enjoy something that maybe if
you didn’t even get paid would you still
do it and I think that’s what pulls you
through those times ultimately but and
that’s what keeps you coming back for
more and that’s what that passion and
that love for what it is that you do is
what keeps you going so would you say
your resilience and that persistence is
because you love what you do so much or
is there something about your parents or
anything in your upbringing you think
it’s I mean I think that genetically I
have a deterrent I’m determined because
my dad was very much like that for sure
very persistent and determined but I
think it’s also because I found
something that I love to do and there’s
plenty of other stuff that I’ve done
that I didn’t keep doing I mean I didn’t
keep playing basketball let’s face it
but I kept racing and so it was about
finding that I feel and finding it
really young I’m very fortunate that I
found it really young and I I tell
everyone young or old is just if you
could have if you could do anything in
the world what would you do well why
can’t you do that then at least start at
least try to make an effort at doing it
you’re not gonna get there within one
shot but but you just got to take baby
steps and opportunities along the way
and I feel like especially like people
get out of college and they have this
idea of what they want to do and they’re
holding out until they get it just get
going you know just get working and get
the experience and and
and start working your way there I
haven’t actually been given a piece of
advice that I can recall right now but I
guess when anyone asks me like what
should I do I’m just like just do
anything anything will lead to something
else and and you just got to get out
there and take a chance even if it’s
unpaid work whatever it is it will lead
to something better so do everything yep
do it all and kind of like a crazy
person on a prep I do i do timelines and
backstories and I work with a dialect
coach and a movement coach and an acting
coach and I just yeah I need to do a lot
before I show up to certain so I can
throw it all out the window when I get
on set but if I hadn’t done all the work
beforehand I would just be too scared to
did you watch a lot of footage of Tonya
Harding and I’ve watched every single
piece of footage there’s on her hello a
thousand times over and I would had a
voice in my ipod I’d go to sleep
listening to I mean I like lived in
Tanya Lane for for a long time we’re
only gonna go as far as you think you’re
worthy mmm I can push you can push you
you can have the greatest product but if
you don’t feel worthy you will work hard
to sabotage that relationship you don’t
know you don’t know you’re doing you
think these are the things I need and
you’re driving that guy away you’re
driving that woman away because your
self-worth says they weren’t gonna stay
forever anyway or I’m self-worth around
money you have a cat that you feel like
you’re worthy of a million dollars you
will always get to 999 four thousand and
you will stop because your self-worth
says it what’s a good exercise or
process that we can follow on a daily
basis maybe something simple to enhance
our enrichment absolutely worthiness
absolutely I did this for six months
every single day right after I brush my
teeth and it’s the ICU exercise and you
get in the mirror now it’s not
necessarily simple because because you
delivered yourself of course and as
complicated as you are will be the
degree panic addicts are very yes I
appreciate that distinction um you get
in the mirror and you complete three
different sentences you want to write
this down the first sentence you look at
yourself and you say your name so you
would say Louis and you complete this is
I’m proud that you and find seven
different things every day does
celebrate yourself for seven different
each day you can do the same thing you
did the day before
but each they do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years did that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles cuz if you can still think
about it is filling your energy space
and then the third sentence is Louis I
commit to you that before you make a
commitment to anybody else throughout
your day you make seven commitments to
you so the first sentence I’m proud that
you you’re celebrating yourself first we
are under celebrated as a as a society
we look for acknowledgement they enter
they interviewed a hundred executives
that all made over a quarter of a
million dollars and said would you like
a five percent raise next year or would
you rather be told thank you more often
100 percent 100 percent said keep your
money I’d rather hear thank you so we’re
under celebrated but first celebrate you
be the example when I was on Oprah when
she said what do you do I said I
recognize that I’m the example of how
the rest of the world is supposed to
treat me and it’s my job to give the
world the best example of how I like to
be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that everybody didn’t use yeah you go to
a job whatever the god the boss wants
all he wants out of you that’s right but
if you don’t get what you’re supposed to
get you messed up that’s right no matter
what that if my job is cleaning and
picking up and doing my thing
and I’m like I got a bad attitude and
not making it happen it’s gonna suck for
me but if I’m like yo wait a minute I
can get a business I hire some other
people to clean and edit and you look
you got a janitor job you got a whole
janitor position where you could turn
this thing into a business then you took
everything you needed to take out of
that job it’s a different mindset and
I’m telling you yes you
used yes but get everything you supposed
to get and move on there’s a gap between
who people are and what they tell you
they want to accomplish because in the
beginning I hired everyone everyone
right not because I’m super smart and
thought hey I should there was no one
else right like we had the smallest
handful of people ever and so I started
doing the interviewing as I was doing it
I start realizing God these guys tell me
they want to do something amazing with
their life and if you just listen like
wow yeah like I want to be in your team
dude you’re gonna do amazing stuff and
then you realize I can’t execute on that
dream so if I can’t they they don’t have
the mindset yet like there’s a you could
do an entire podcast series on how to
get the mindset but I’ll just use Carol
Dweck and her amazing voting mindset as
I’m sure such a good book I see Simon’s
the neck up there who is also very
influential in us and she says some
people either believe they’re smart is
there ever gonna be and that’s that so
they’re gonna be ego protective and
they’re gonna you know try to thwart
anything that makes them feel like
they’re not the smartest person or
whatever and then there’s people with a
growth mindset and they realize I’m not
the smartest person and I’m certainly
not as smart as I could be yeah so even
if I am the smartest person ever lived I
could get a little bit smarter and so
when they’re confronted with
contradictory information they learn and
they soak it up like as other people our
fixed mindset right correct it’s done
like no this is the way and I’m writing
that’s wrong yes and I would say the
world everyone’s on a spectrum right
even I as much as I believe in it and
work my ass off to be a growth mindset
I still have let’s call it 10% where I
catch myself in like come on dude you
know better than that yeah but so people
that fall unless they sub 50% spectrum
of the growth mindset it’s got to be 98
percent number one thing you have to do
before you set out on any other goal or
any other course is to define your
expectations number one thing on the
outside of every single project record
tour define your expectations everyone
in this room wants to make it but I
question how you would recognize making
it what is making it well what do you
want to be
who here wants a record deal would it be
nice to ever be nice have a record deal
right we don’t a record deal okay well
what does a record deal look like now
what is making it look like would you
want to sell a million copies two
million copies well okay let’s say
selling two million copies is like
selling talent 10 million copies 10
years ago so let’s say you say to
yourself my expectation is that I want
to be an artist and I wanted to put
records out and I want to sell millions
of copies if that’s your expectation
great then you sort of skip straight to
another questionnaire you know okay if
you answered yes – do I want to be a pop
star do I want to make music for as many
people as possible now you have to sort
of change your game to fit the
expectation you now have to wonder about
is your song shorter than four minutes
do you get to your core as fast enough
these are these are the things you have
to absolutely do and you also have to
compromise and you also have to play the
game and by defining your expectations
if you decide that you want to be a pop
star that’s not a dirty word
it just means pop just means popular
Frank Sinatra was a pop star Jimi
Hendrix was a pop star lots of people
would pop stars what kind of pop star
lots people with jazz musicians what
kind of jazz musician you can define the
genre any way you want so if you said
you want to be a pop star then you have
to look at your songs there’s also
people here who are a little dishonest
about what they really want to be and I
think if you want to be famous if you
want to make music for as many people as
possible just come out and say it
don’t say I want to be indeed it’s gonna
be an independent artist and really
secretly wish that you wanted to be a
pop star because from the from them from
the very beginning it’s disingenuous
there’s nothing wrong with saying I want
to play music for as many people as
possible without compromising the things
that I have to be as an artist and
that’s what I’ve done
Sony Music doesn’t come into the studio
when I’m making a record but I also know
what’s going to be a hit or what stands
the chance of being a hit and what just
does it and it’s a level of honesty with
yourself
that you have to have before you had
your music out to anybody else so that’s
sort of what I want to say about
expectations if you only recognize
success as a record deal and a big fat
Publishers Clearing House oversized
Tiger Woods check and a dinner and then
going to the top of the roof and
screaming most of you will be stunning
failures every single day that we wake
up we have been gifted the opportunity
of choice you can choose to be happy or
you can choose to be sad I don’t care
what your situation is you should never
allow your situation to define who you
are as a person I know I lived out of my
car for two and a half years and you
know the story that I told about myself
in my head every day all day long why
does this person get this why does it
why’s this always keep happening to me
why do I keep getting this girlfriend
this kind of girlfriend why does this
happen to me how come this person got
this record deal that didn’t how come
this person why oh poor pity me shut up
Darren Jones the outside is the physical
manifestation of what goes on inside the
brain things do not just happen no one
just rear-ends your car you don’t just
become broke broke is a mindset things
don’t just happen your pocketbook is not
just below balance or on zero you’re not
just over just by chance you’re just
over weight things don’t just happen I
wasn’t just living out of my car for two
and a half years the outside is the
physical manifestation of what goes on
inside the brain just like you can think
yourself sad or mad or broke and all of
these things you can also think yourself
happy
I’m telling you coming from a guy that
lived out of this car for two and a half
years I have stuff that I haven’t even
posted online
day 1 day 2 day 3 day 4 day month like
month year it came it was so bad that I
was not with emotion numb with emotions
crying myself to sleep cry myself to
sleep in my Jeep how does a guy with so
much passion live in his car for two and
a half years it was all because of me I
deserved to live in my car I deserved to
be broke I deserved not to have the
opportunities that I should have been
getting and they weren’t for me but I’ll
tell you what was for me I woke up every
day with an opportunity to choose
different if you want something
different you have to do something
different it’s that simple
you want something different in life you
have to do something different I don’t
have to give power not only I do not
have to give power to my negative
thoughts I don’t have to give power to
strangers thoughts like people say dumb
stuff all the time and if you don’t like
the way I look or you don’t like the way
I dress
it still doesn’t affect the fact that
I’m still gonna go and be successful and
I’m still gonna go and be the person
that I’m supposed to be even if you
don’t like me what advice to give to
people who focus on other people’s words
all the time how do they move past that
and not let it affect them I think it’s
just I recommend just it’s a practice
it’s literally a practice and I’ve one
thing I’ve started to do especially on
like social media or even if it’s maybe
I’m out on the streets and someone has
something mean to say I will smile
like and I’ve been working with Yahoo
Justin sue eyes
so Justin sua is a swing sports
psychologist and he works a lot of MLB
players and he’s been working with me
and something like he was really helping
me prepare for the regional because I
was already like weeks leading up like
an emotional like a roller coaster like
I think that I hadn’t quite yet felt
things or let myself feel things that
sorry I’ve like touched my mic a million
times let myself feel things that were a
natural response to what I had been
through and I was starting to feel them
like I would be completely fine and then
all of a sudden I was like I could I
could just like start crying my body I
felt anxiety in my body like not just in
my my heart or my solar my head it was
like physically in my legs and my arms
and something he talked about was like
every time you know if I have a worry or
a stress or maybe I have like a negative
thought about my own performance or
something come into my head he’s like
just like smile at it and like and let
it go and I do that and I do it
physically I think about it I I remind
myself that it doesn’t it really doesn’t
matter and we have thoughts all day we
have thoughts all the time and one of
the best things someone told me one day
as he said you know think of it it’s
like like okay the birds what they say
birds that fly over your head we have no
control over them but what we can
control if is if we let them build a
nest in our hair so it’s like we might
have these thoughts so people might say
some things but we can just let them go
mmm
and if we you know pay attention to them
or give them power that’s when it’s just
gonna start like stirring and she’s
gonna create problems and so I
definitely am practicing it all the time
you know you know and practicing
celebrating myself a little bit more I’m
not super great at receiving compliment
mm-hm or talking about myself for the
matter and I think that’s also stuff
that I dealt with like what the imposter
syndrome type thing like I knew I know
that I’m doing a lot of really amazing
things and and having great opportunity
and it’s not because it’s just like
because I’m a fluke and people are like
for a second thing I’m you know
qualified it’s because I am doing things
because I am good at business it’s
because I am good with people it’s
because I I do work hard for my goals I
do want to help people I do love making
people happy you know I love building
businesses and working with teams of
people that want to be successful and
make changes and differences that’s all
real and so I’m getting a lot better at
not only letting things go that will
only cause grief even though that grief
won’t make a difference and what if I
wake up and get out of bed tomorrow I
might like that you nuts the thing –
it’s like realizing what is that it’s
not gonna change what you do like
tomorrow you’re just gonna get up
usually getting out of bed I’m sure
gonna go to work so realize that if you
you have you haven’t lost chances to be
a better person you haven’t lost chances
to love yourself you haven’t lost
chances to like be successful because we
have all these moments where you
literally can just just do it just be
the person that you want to be just
smile at the people that walk on the
street because you do want to be a happy
person you know it’s just you just get
to do it
you’re gonna play big say big you’re
gonna play huge say huge you’re gonna
play ginormous a ginormous
but first take baby steps
you’re gonna eat the elephant but take
one small bite first chew it good right
we want so much so fast my grandmother
says baby she starts every sentence with
baby I’m sure it’s because she cannot
remember all of our names she’s a baby
the best things you’ll ever have from
Grandma will never come from the
microwave they always come from the oven
and I was like I think some somehow
she’s trying to give me a lesson here
and I realized that the best things that
you’re gonna create are gonna take time
build it on cement not sinking saying
you’re gonna get tons and tons and tons
of tools here and you’re gonna want to
fast forward when you fast forward
you’re building on Plexiglas you’ve been
on styrofoam you’ve been on wood you
want to build it on semen your dream is
important enough to outlive you yes yes
and so I realized that that you can’t
Google download resiliency you can’t
Google download tenacity
you can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience
I want patience I’m waiting for pick
somebody’s gonna piss you off tomorrow
and now you get to test of your patience
I realized I realized that as I wanted
to develop me I have to be willing to
climb and I wanted to get to the top and
there’s no elevator to the top I got to
do my squats I got to work on my quads
and my hamstrings and my calves cuz I
gotta climb to the top
we got a climb I just feel like advice
that I would that I would give it’s just
like let yourself be so consumed in in
your art or whatever your passion is
it’s literally the greatest feeling in
the world it’s like love like it’s you
know to just let yourself be just like
swallowed whole by what makes you feel
alive and what connects you to you know
the universe and in that inner voice it
there’s nothing more more beautiful than
that and it’s such a it’s such a
selfless thing to share that you know to
share that with the world because I
think
I love that there’s and there’s this
quote I can’t remember it word for word
but this guy’s has something like share
your share your talent and share your
dreams with the world because what the
world needs is more people who come
alive something something along those
lines but yeah because you know by you
just expressing yourself
you kind of ignite you can you know
ignite a fire in somebody else to
express them so some way you know like
and that was just I would just make us
all like so much happier that’s people
you know what I mean like just do
everything do everything for love and
you’ll you’ll feel so fulfilled what do
I want to do like what what movies do I
want to make what television shows hmm I
want to put into the world because it’s
a lot of work it’s I feel like I’ve done
all that other work I did a lot of stuff
for a lot of other people yeah I want to
put something in it that is more
representative of Who I am as a person
I feel really shy after drinking because
I don’t ever drink yeah you know I feel
like you make decisions you cut things
out your diet and put them in based on
one what your goal is and two what are
your non-negotiable is like what makes
you happy right I got non-negotiable
having like a beer on the weekend cuz
that’s what you like in the social
aspects awesome like cool that and
that’s nice nothing wrong with that I
think when you start looking at
something because you’re making maybe
your new goal is like something’s wrong
with your health right now it’s like
okay well now what is the most important
and is that more important than a beer
well yeah well then I can get rid of the
beer it’s always should be like what’s
my goal and then what are the things
they also happiness is very important
too you know like I after realizing it
so many times
I’m just a happier person I feel better
if I’m not hungover I mean I really I
had to I wanted to be open about it as
I’d been from the very beginning it was
from an athletes perspective it was one
of the toughest things that I had to go
through and I feel like sharing that
feeling that I had
the vulnerability that I had to carry
myself with and for someone that’s so
strong and like mentally tough and have
always I mean at 6 to like you know
passionate about what she does it felt
really small with one of the first three
times in my life where I would just I
didn’t want to right I didn’t want to
continue writing the book it took a long
time to put those words onto paper and I
felt that that was an important it’s
part of my journey it’s part of the
reason why my book is called unstoppable
because I’ve had this mentality from a
very young age that no matter what is
thrown at you there there it’s going to
be roadblocks and you have to overcome
them and you can and I also know
career-wise how important it is not to
be too highly specialized especially
these days in the world of media it is
crucial to have multiple interests and
skillsets to have tried and possibly
failed and many different undertakings
the young people that we hired today at
Conde Nast are fearless polymaths
hardworking and passionate creative and
curious don’t solicit feedback on your
product your idea or your business just
for validation purposes be really
careful about that you want to tell the
people that can help move your idea
forward but if you’re just looking to
your friend coworker husband wife for
validation be careful because out of
love and concern a lot of people will
express some concerns and it can stop a
lot of multi-million dollar ideas we
right in their tracks in the beginning
you will never know the answer unless if
you ask and that’s what my father always
taught me he’s like you’re never gonna
know if you don’t ask so ask and that’s
what I do and that’s kind of how I also
am community I communicate with my team
we know we’re a team but also we know
that we can talk very directly to each
other because that’s how we set it up
from the beginning
and whoever the boss is you set the tone
you know this is your arena so how are
you set the tone is the way things are
gonna go so I always set the tone with
kindness first and then let’s get ish done baby
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