early on in my life probably in my early
to mid 20s I was living like a lot of
people do fairly unconsciously but not
aware of my unconsciousness you know
just kind of going through life and
often feeling as though life was
happening to me that I was a victim to
what was going on in my life or that
that the things that the places of my
life where I was unhappy whether it was
in a relationship or where I was living
or in my job had nothing to do with had
little had less to do with what I was
doing and more to do with just sort of
the circumstances of life and I started
to be introduced to looking at the world
in a different way for example through
Louise’s book you can hear you life
which was very influential to me early
on what a lot of people don’t know I
actually have as a side story a funny
little story about Louise that nobody
really knows and that is that um when I
was probably 24 25 years old I
volunteered for an organization called
interphase in Cambridge Mass that was
considered the East Coast Esalen you may
remember that and it’s a place where
people like Deepak Chopra would come and
Bernie Siegel you know God his sort of
start there and I was volunteering there
and I was volunteering because I was
really interested in this whole
self-help field and recovery was a big
big thing at the time and Louise Hay was
coming to speak for interface she was
coming to a halt in downtown Boston and
I had read you can heal your life and I
was really taken by two things number
one the fact that she was teaching from
her own experience and she was so honest
about her life in the book I was really
engaged by that but also the practical
nature of the book that you can actually
do something with it you know you could
look up and see oh I have this physical
ailment therefore this might be going on
and I appreciated the interact you know
that the fact that it was interactive
and so I was really taken by her work
and so I asked if I could be the
volunteer that would drive to the
airport to pick her up
and to take her back to the hall now
nobody knows it’s it’s really ironic
actually Here I am today at Hay House
author and a speaker and Louise doesn’t
even know this so she probably doesn’t
even remember but I remember driving to
the airport it was in the dead of winter
and it was freezing and you know so this
is this is one of the first people who
has really touched my life in a
significant way and has begun the
opening to the belief that wow maybe
there’s something more to life than
meets the eye
like maybe there’s something that I’m
doing in my life that’s creating what’s
happening and not just the fact that
life is happening to me
so I drive to the airport it’s freezing
cold I get there and of course her
flight is delayed and it’s delayed for
about three hours and I sit in the
airport you know is this like young
excited fan you know who just can’t wait
to meet her and I’m you know every time
they say no the flight will be in in 20
minutes I’m like okay fixing myself and
hoping that I look really smart and
hoping that I don’t look too eager
although I’m sure I just looked like a
bumbling idiot just waiting like this
little girl and I remember the flight
finally came was probably at 1 o’clock
in the morning and she had long hair and
she came down the the jet way you know
she was walking down the jet way and I
was watching her and she came out like a
queen and I just sat there speechless
like I can’t believe this is really
Louise hey and I’m gonna meet her and
you know she’s looking around and I’m
I’m just so taken by her that I forget
that I’m supposed to stand up ago hi I’m
here volunteer and eventually I did that
she was very gracious and got in the car
and drove her back and then went to pick
her up at the hotel the next night to
take her to the venue where she was
going to speak and I just remember she
just had such a presence about her way
back then that she still has today and
that night when I heard her speak that
along with some other events that
occurred during that time was the
awakening when I thought wow there’s
something about the way I think that may
be influencing what’s happening in my
life
and so somebody had said to me and I
don’t remember who it was it was some
teacher and talked about how you know
there is this power of greater than us
at work in the world and you know one of
the ways you can test it is one of the
ways you can test how are thinking
partners with this greater power and in
that partnership we can manifest things
in our life and one of the ways you can
test it is very simple just take a
little yellow sticky note and write down
two or three things you’d really like to
have in your life and then keep that
sticky note in view so that you see it
all the time you don’t focus on it too
hard but you just keep it in your
consciousness and so I thought yeah this
is a bunch of baloney but I’ll give it a
try I’m willing to try anything so I
take the little yellow sticky note and I
write I specifically right now because
they said you have to be very specific
about what you want I’ll be general so I
write exactly the kind of computer that
I wanted I was a young writer you know
and wanted back then it was a big deal
to get a computer with a word processor
on you know word processor on it and so
I specifically wrote the kind of
computer and the kind of software and
the kind of word processor that I wanted
and then I put down that I wanted to
travel and this person that said by the
way if there’s certain things you want
make sure you put the word free in front
of them like make it fun so I wrote free
travel and there was a third thing I
don’t remember what it was but this was
in November about a month later for
Christmas my boss at the time I was
working for an entrepreneur as an
administrative assistant my boss gave me
the exact computer that I had written
down on the yellow sticky note as a
Christmas gift
and I remember when I opened the box and
I saw what it was and I saw it happened
to be something I had worked on a system
I had worked on for him and I saw what
he had given me I got oh my god what if
this actually works then I went now it
came possibly it’s just a coincidence
and I said the heck put that in neo
threw it away but then two weeks later a
dear friend of mine who worked for a
large fortune 50 company called me and
said hey guess what I won the top
salesperson award in my company and it’s
a free trip to Boca Vuitton to stay in
the presidential suite of the Boca Raton
Resort Hotel I don’t even know where
Boca Raton was but she said you know I
can bring a guest with me you want to
come with me it won’t cost anything and
we’ll get to stay in the presidential
suite and that’s when I went okay give
me that little sticky dot again maybe
there’s something to this you know and
sure enough and that was a very powerful
experience for me you know I’ve since
grown up a lot since then and I don’t
see the universe as Santa Claus where
you just sort of write things down and
they happen there’s a lot more to it
than that
however it was my commitment to be awake
to become more conscious and my
willingness to actually think about what
I wanted you know that experience gave
me a a visceral sense of what it was
like to be the master of my own destiny
instead of feeling like the victim or
instead of feeling like I was at the
effect of the world maybe I had
something to do with this as well and so
you know many many years later I’m 2025
years older and I realized that the gift
of that little sticky note was the the
recognition the spark of recognition
that I have a lot more to do with what
happens in my life and in the lives of
the people around me than I ever
realized and therefore I need to be very
responsible about that power and it’s my
duty to use it
some of the challenges I see with the
purple with the purple some of the
challenges I see with purple purple
really bothers me okay
there’s something about purple don’t get
me started cuz I’ll do a whole Saturday
Night Live great some of the challenges
that people are faced with are the same
kinds of things the same challenges I’ve
been faced with impatience a lack of
clarity so let’s start there with a lack
of clarity most of us think in
generalities I hate my job I want a new
job okay that’s great that’s a great
place to start but what are you looking
for like getting specific knowing what
you want a lot of people know what they
don’t want but they don’t necessarily
know what they want so really taking the
time to clarify what it is you want like
really investing the time in that it’s
amazing to me we’re so busy that we
don’t really put a lot of time and
energy into really sitting down and
saying what you know what’s working in
my life what isn’t what do I want to
change and then specifically looking at
what I want to change so clarity you
know and then another obstacle is just
not knowing what to do like a lot of
times we’re missing information about
what the next step might be in terms of
the action equation of affirmations plus
actions equals miracles right a lot of
times we’re missing information about
what to do how to take action but we
call it something else like I must be
afraid that that’s why I’m stuck or I’m
sabotaging my success that’s a big one
that’s why you know my my intentions
aren’t happening for me or that’s why
I’m stuck I’m you know I have a fear of
success
that’s why I’m stuck when really a lot
of times it’s quite simple people just
don’t know what to do next that’s where
the profession of coaching has been so
helpful because if you say to me you
want to write a book you know believe me
you’re gonna talk to me about you know
how you’re afraid you have nothing
important to say or it’s all been said
before and you think that’s what’s
keeping you stuck but the truth is you
don’t know that oh I have to write a
book proposal great what does that look
like oh you know what there’s a book out
there called how to write the perfect
book proposal and if you read it it will
show you what it looks like and then you
can actually do it what I’ve found
that’s so wonderful and resilient and
encouraging and inspiring about Humanity
is we will take actions but someone just
helps us to know what it is we need to
do and another important obstacle I
think is isolation we’re lonely and we
need each other you know we came to this
planet together for a reason and I think
it’s a lack of support and an inability
to ask for help that often keeps us
stuck so you may have an intention I
want to write a book you finally get the
information about what it is you need to
do but then you get scared along the way
because we get scared and who’s there to
hold your hand or to say you know what
it’s okay you know yes you can do this
just like let’s break it down into to an
even smaller step so that you stay
moving in the right direction instead of
allowing yourself to be stuck and you
know by the way don’t go to the hardware
store for milk make sure you turn to
people for support who are really going
to support you because a lot of us when
we start doing those things to honor our
soul or to express our creativity those
are really vulnerable acts you know the
things that we intend or that we affirm
for our lives are those things that are
deeply important to our soul and so
they’re vulnerable
and too often we turn to people who just
squash them you know or who tell you why
it isn’t gonna work or why that’s a
crazy affirmation or that’s a crazy
intention that’s called going to the
hardware store for milk you want to go
to the people who are really going to
hold your hand on the journey and say
hey I’m there right there with you so
those are some of the obstacles
so in my life I would say the first I
can’t say the first half of my life
because who knows where I am in it but
probably the first thirty thirty or so
years of my life most of my spiritual
growth was around relationships I
actually find that to be true for a lot
of people that it’s our relationships
particularly our romantic or intimate
relationships where we get challenged
the most early on and so a lot of my I
would often choose men I would often
fall in love with a man’s potential and
then have a relationship with the dream
of that relationship so I would
literally be in relationship with the
dream of what it could be instead of the
reality of what it was and that’s like
probably the most prevalent theme
throughout all of my early relationships
and the gift of them the gift of every
single person I was ever involved with
and I see all of them as spiritual
change agents today is that they really
forced me to grow you know there were
the painful relationships with the men
who weren’t emotionally available and I
thought for sure you know they just they
couldn’t feel their feelings and they
couldn’t be there for me emotionally
until you know a therapist said to me
did it ever occur to you that maybe you
can’t feel your feelings and you can’t
be there emotionally for people and that
was a whole new concept for me and you
know and so that man who quote couldn’t
feel his feelings became a catalyst for
me looking at my own inability to do
that and so a lot of my relationships
were unbalanced as well a lot of times I
would choose partners who weren’t ready
for their own commitment to
consciousness like I was and I was
trying to get them on board which is a
really arrogant and inappropriate thing
to do but I didn’t know it at the time I
thought I was being helpful and you know
controlling looked like helpful and
loving and and so I reached a point in
my life I mean the truth was I was
really afraid of being alone and so I
would rather be in a relationship that
wasn’t fulfilling than be alone you know
like a lot of women I grew up you know
from generations of women where it was
just it wasn’t okay to be alone and so
when I finally had enough therapy under
my belt and enough healing under my belt
where I said you know what something
tells me I better be alone for a while
if I’m gonna find a good relationship
and I finally got my own apartment and
moved in and dealt with all of the
discomfort of that in the beginning and
then quit not quickly was not quickly
over time began to fall in love with
myself and my own place and then I
started to think about meeting a partner
and I started to you know face the
reality that I was lonely in a different
way and that I wanted someone to share
my life with you know by that point so
this is around 33 or 34 I had a clear
history of having intentions having
affirmations taking actions and watching
miracles unfold in my life I mean I have
a million examples of how that happened
in very powerful ways and I write a lot
about those experiences and so I decided
you know what I’m gonna take this and
I’m gonna craft myself a great partner
and I spent seven days writing about
exactly the kind of man I’d like to meet
his physical qualities intellectual
where he was at financially in his life
spiritually all the way down to I hope
he loves dogs and you know I hope he has
dark hair and dark eyes because I’m so
attracted to men with dark hair and dark
eyes my prayer is always you know to God
please allow this or something greater
to occur you know please if this isn’t
in my highest and best interest that’s
okay don’t let it happen then you know
but please make this or something
greater occur that supports my highest
and best interest so every day I worked
on this list and then at the end of
seven days I gave it to a close friend
and I said here have I missed anything
because you’re always gonna miss
something and I did and she helped me to
you know really tighten up the list and
then I created a treasure map something
I’ve taught for years and I took a big
poster board and I started to take
pictures of men that I thought were
attractive out of magazines to kind of
fit that profile and I in men with dogs
and you know men engaged and different
act the kinds of things that I like to
do and you know just this board sort of
like a storyboard of what my life would
look like if I were in love with my
perfect mate
one night I was sitting in my apartment
with a girl friend of mine who was an
actress and she was going through a
magazine that had personal ads in it and
she was reading the different personal
ads with different accents as part of
her acting training so she gave it to me
she said here you try with an Italian
accent I suck at that so I said you know
I’d open up the magazine and I start to
read this one out and I say to her oh my
god this is an amazing ad she said read
it to me and I read it to her and I said
wow there was something about it that
just really hit me and she said call it
I said absolutely not I’m not calling a
personal ad are you kidding me
she said I dare you to call it I said no
way I’m not doing it so I put the
magazine down every day for four days I
picked up that magazine in my apartment
and I read that ad and on the fifth day
I remembered affirmations plus action
creates miracles and I remember where I
was standing I remember the exact phone
I used I picked up the phone and I
dialed the box number on the ad and
before I said anything into the
recording I hope I said out loud I’m
this is my prayer to the universe I’m
ready to meet somebody important in my
life I don’t know whether it’s this
person or not but this phone call is my
willingness to take action to make that
happen
two days later Michael called I love the
name Michael by the way as well and he
called to respond to the ad and we spoke
by phone I was so nervous talked by
phone he sent me his photo I sent him
mind on the day that we were supposed to
meet for dinner I went to the post
office in his photo never arrived and I
thought I thought to myself God should I
cancelled the date and wait for the
photo and I said yeah just go and I
walked to the you know I went to the
restaurant artist to meet him and he
walks through the door and I’ll never
forget he walked through the door I
thought please God
and he walked up to me and he went
Cheryl and here I was this professional
speaker right this like all together
woman and I went Michel like a little
girl and that night was the first time
in my life where I couldn’t catch my
breath through the whole dinners matter
fact he started making fun of me and as
I got to know him I realized he met just
about everything on my list except
cooking I forgot to put a man that cooks
on my list which I really want to go on
record is saying is an important thing
if you don’t cook but no but honest to
god
so that was thirteen years ago and I
knew this was the man I was gonna marry
it was the best day of my life to marry
him he could make me cry just thinking
about it and that was a powerful example
of having a strong affirmation really
being clear about what it is you want
being willing to take the actions to
make it happen and by the way really
investing in how you know how I needed
to grow in order to match that list and
I got you know that’s what a soulmate
really is and that’s when I look look at
all of the things that have occurred in
my life as a result of my intentions
that’s the best one you know it’s
amazing to me how when we create
intentions and affirmations from that
pure soul place what we’re really
calling into our lives are the very
things that are meant to assist us in
our spiritual journey I mean my life is
so far different than I could have ever
imagined and I wouldn’t I didn’t know
like sometimes we don’t know the power
of our intentions and our affirmations
and that’s why it’s so important to
listen to that little voice inside
because you know Emmett Fox said it
years ago you know the great the great
spiritual teacher from the early 1900’s
Emmett Fox said usually our deepest
desires are those things that that we’re
most were the most embarrassed to admit
out loud you know we don’t want to say
them out loud but those are usually the
desires of the soul and when we state
them and when we put them in writing and
when we start to act on them there is
this divine power that rallies behind us
to support our efforts I mean I met
Michael in two weeks that’s pretty quick
manifestation wouldn’t you say but there
were a lot of years before that where
the lag time was much longer and you
know what it was the right time
and a lot of times we intend to bring
things into our lives into an already to
full life and so sometimes what we need
to do is actually make the space as
that’s actually part of the action plan
is making the space to allow in whatever
it is we intend because too many of us
just don’t have the space in our lives
for that now that was you know something
I really did have to create the space
and I also had to look at how deathly
afraid I was I saw a marriage as um as a
cage on a very deep level I saw it as a
cage and little did I know I was living
in a cage and when I met this man he had
the key that opened it who would have
thought I would have never bought
you know the affirmations is just the
starting point that’s like going okay
here’s where the goal is what really
gives those affirmations power is the
emotion we put behind it so what’s
interesting is you start out the journey
going okay let me start here step one is
what’s the affirmation step two is you
know how can i generate the emotional
power behind that affirmation and a lot
of that comes from taking actions to
support that affirmation that’s how you
begin to step into that state and then
as you step into that state and you take
actions and you put the emotional power
behind those affirmations they begin to
manifest themselves in your life now you
come for a full circle and the opposite
then becomes true where or it really is
just a more full circle in that it’s
more about living in that powerful
emotional state and the belief that all
that I need is right here in this moment
love truly is the most powerful force in
the world
you know abundance is our birthright and
available to each and every one of us if
it’s part of our spiritual plan and so
it’s living in that emotional and
energetic state that is the sort of end
I don’t know it’s probably not the end
game we’ll see what happens next right
but it is that it’s that way of being
that that you get to now live in as a
result of the work you did early on kind
of installing those affirmations in your
brain I think of my brain as a computer
I’ve installed some great software it
plays in the background I don’t even
know what it is anymore I don’t even
hear the words but I live in the state
of those words as much as I possibly can
and I feel when I’m not living in that
state I grew up in a family in which we
were interested in organic food and the
mind-body connection actually my father
was a dentist and holistically oriented
and he would say that you can tell the
state of somebody’s health by looking in
their mouth and that also the mouth is
the center of the personality and that’s
why no one likes you mucking around in
there and why dentists have the second
highest suicide rate second to
psychiatrists in that the mouth is
perhaps less demoralizing than looking
into their mind so I grew up
with a different take my aunt and uncle
were both medical doctors straight
medical doctors and they made fun of my
father’s ideas but he was always happier
and our family did not believe too much
in conventional medicine so my earliest
memories are of having my brother Billy
being signed out of the hospital against
medical advice he wouldn’t eat and a
nurse came up to my mother and said get
him out of here the doctors don’t know
what’s going on he’ll die if he stays
here and I’d had a sister who died in
the hospital early on and she didn’t eat
either and we never knew what was wrong
with her so imagine you’re a kid I’m
eight at this time and my little brother
is home and he has a tube down his
throat and my parents are feeding him by
tube every hour on the hour and he’s
throwing it back up and at the age of a
year he was alive at the age of a year
he weighed 10 pounds and my parents
tried to find a doctor who knew what was
going on
and he finally found a woman doctor dr.
Crump at Women’s Medical Center in
Philadelphia who did pediatric endoscopy
put a tube down and said his esophagus
is so eroded from this tube that if you
continue to tube feed him that way
his esophagus will erode through
there’ll be a big hole in it and he will
die let’s take out the tube and see what
happens and so she had enough faith in
the healing power of the human body that
she took out the tube and they gave him
liquids through what was called crisis
where he put a big bolus of fluid with a
big needle into the thigh and after a
couple days he started to eat and we
still don’t know
why and I remember going to the airport
and my mother was holding him on her lap
and he was eating a role that the
stewardess had given him and we all
started to cry and when I went to
medical school which I wasn’t going to
do I never wanted to be a doctor I
thought my aunt locals life looked not
fun they had to leave every Thanksgiving
and every Christmas but I remember
thinking when I go to medical school I
want to find out why doctors don’t talk
to patients I want to find out why the
fullness of the mystery is not addressed
and I never intended to practice
medicine but I always believed from my
childhood experiences that there was
more going on than what we were taught
now and like most medical students I
became puffed up I became very proud of
what we could do with drugs and surgery
and but when I saw the first time I saw
baby horn I started to cry
I just wept with a combination really of
joy and also sorrow and the nurse was
yelling at the medical student and she
because he had let go of the cord and
there like a mini fire hose and it was
going all over the wall and I’m thinking
this is holy this is a holy place this
is not a place where you yell at anybody
and it occurred to me nobody should be
in that room during a birth who didn’t
know this was holy and it was that
experience that caused me to become an
obstetrician-gynecologist and being
around women giving birth was like being
like breathing it was that easy but I
also saw that fear and anger and all of
this completely messed up the process of
birth
but I didn’t know how to get those ideas
across to the patient especially if her
mother had already told her now you’ll
see how I suffered with you and I did
all kinds of work trying to prove to
myself that the mind-body connection was
real and how did we how did we get into
the mind so that the body would change I
myself had terrible migraine headaches
from the age of 12 to the age of 21 once
a month twice a month whatever I’d been
worked up in a Boston hospital a week
there with all kinds of testing they
never knew what it was at the age of 19
I had to do this English paper a
critique of the poem ode on a Grecian
urn or ode to a Grecian urn by Keats and
I didn’t know what the professor wanted
and like most my grayness personalities
I needed to know what it was they wanted
of me and I couldn’t figure it out and
it was in Cleveland Ohio and it was in
November and when I came out of the
library not knowing how to get an A in
the course I temporarily thought maybe I
should just throw myself in front of a
car it would be easier than this and
then I thought no you know you’ll break
your leg and then you’re gonna have to
do the poem and then you’re gonna have
to lug around to cast at the same time
like it you know the idea that I had a
choice never occurred to me because I
was operating on a belief system that
was obsolete I go back to my dorm I call
my parents and I say I hate it here this
isn’t working for me and my father says
quit so quick you can come home
and I changed my mind and in that moment
I changed the migraine headaches and
maybe had three or four the rest of my
whole life
because I changed this pattern this
sixth emotional center perception
thought morality which is what headaches
are and my perception was you must do
this and I’ve been a really been driven
my whole life
to get it right and get it right though
in the way that the culture and in my
case the practice of medicine says is
right but here’s the problem
most of what I was taught in medicine
about what causes disease is not the
truth I cured my migraine headaches
not with imitrex not with advil i cured
him with a change of perception you see
and the only time that I got him from
then on is when I was doing something my
greenness like trying to clean up my
entire house in half of the day because
I had the time now if I could just
organize the clutter from 25 years and I
can get in this state of being driven
where I’m completely disconnected from
my mind and my body and I’m just going
for it it’s a beautiful way to get
through a surgical subspecialty keep
your head down keep your nose to the
grindstone but you know what happens
when you do that you get cortisol levels
that are too high adrenaline levels that
are too high these are the stress
hormones they constrict blood vessels in
every place in the body and headaches
are just the beginning so the belief
system behind the migraines which I had
for as long as I could remember was you
must get straight A’s in school it was
this internal pressure you must perform
to a certain level and I was the
valedictorian and in my class in
Ellicott Hills Central High everyone who
had ever gone to college that I knew
about had gotten pregnant and dropped
out
so I had this idea that when I went to
college I was going to be washed out
quickly so I studied like you know this
was in the 60s and 70s this was
everybody’s on birth control having sex
with everything not nailed down and
they’re all smoking dope and I am I am
here to study what is wrong with the
rest of you people I didn’t understand
what the Kent State thing was all about
like what are you doing okay it’s spring
in Cleveland
you’re throwing rocks at the horses a
nuclear a venire policeman but I have a
biology exam here so there was this
tremendous drive to achieve in a certain
way which was academically in a certain
way when I temporarily decided it would
be easier to throw myself in front of a
car and then quickly realize you know
it’s like mental health came on board
quickly because I grew up as a pretty
optimistic person when my father said so
quit it was that I had I had the
patriarchal authority figure in my
family saying you have another choice
you could quit come home live here and
in that moment I could stay because I
knew I could leave because I instantly
in that moment thought okay what would I
do in my hometown what would I marry my
high school boyfriend I mean what would
I do
probably it would be better if I stayed
here and finish this degree but maybe I
could finish it in a way that was a
little lighter and more free and what is
the worst thing that could happen you
might get a B instead of an A and what
is the worst thing that could happen
there probably nothing
and so I actually began to enjoy aspects
of my life and live more in the moment
and then had the experience actually of
getting a seat in organic chemistry and
being thrilled to pass
I had a big fibroid tumor in my late 40s
and it was diagnosed on pelvic exam
right after I finished my first book
women’s bodies women’s wisdom so the
first place I went and my head was oh I
caught one
I’ve been around fiber it so long that I
caught one you know when you’re under
stress you go right back to your
original programming which is the germ
theory of disease right so I must have
caught one like these things are
contagious and but you know the law of
attraction is contagious and I thought
it was something about the book because
I knew fibroids were creativity that
hasn’t been earthed yet and then it got
bigger and it got bigger and it got
bigger until finally one Thanksgiving I
had that experience of and I tried in
acupuncture twice a week I was
macrobiotic I did everything known to
humanity and my patients had often been
able to deem materialized fibroids and
iOS knew it was possible I couldn’t and
I finally one Thanksgiving said I’m so
sick of dressing around this thing I
look pregnant I’m just getting it out of
here I mean that’s what surgeries for
let’s go do it
and I knew enough when I went under
anesthesia to have the anesthesiologist
repeat some statements so that I would
reprogram and go into these sort of deep
hypnosis and the one statement was and
you awaken the pattern that created this
will have left your life and I was a
single woman to you asleep fibroids are
creativity that hasn’t been birthed yet
and they are also caused by shoving your
creative energy your second chakra sex
power money derive into some kind of
avenue great because you know ovaries
are female balls and we have to we have
drives toward what we want in my case I
wanted partnership in my relationship
and my relationship was not where I was
going to find partnership but what
happens if you don’t know better and you
don’t have the insight if it’s not
working you do it harder and so I kept
trying everything I knew to do to fix
the marriage which is completely done I
mean you have to work on fixing you or
transforming you and but the fibroid had
gotten to this certain point and then I
had the surgery and as I did my recovery
it was I said when I do this recovery I
want this to be the postpartum rest than
I have never given myself and I rested
for a whole month and I said you know
the next thing that comes out of my womb
I’m gonna have a postpartum rest and so
I began to change patterns in my
relationship because I started to take
care of my deepest self starting right
with my womb the center really of a
woman’s body
and that began to change the dynamic of
the relationship and it really had
nowhere to go though you don’t know that
until a retrospective until
retrospectively I mean it’s like I
really even in the divorce proceedings
was certain that I could do something to
make it work so we have these mental
patterns and my pattern is certainly is
like show up and get her done
okay and it works it works good you know
and but it doesn’t work in a
relationship or in some place where you
have to let the universe bring in what’s
missing that’s more yen I was very good
at young and you know I’m a really good
surgical type brain but this was to
balance and allow something to come to
you people do affirmations and they do
their journals and they wear purple and
all that but boy when it comes to the
vagina the vulva the breasts the uterus
that all goes out the window because
these organs know we’re taught these are
woman’s these organs were created
because Eve ate the apple and screwed up
and these are going to get me and so the
whole conversation around women’s health
is what can go wrong let’s screen for
what can go wrong and if we don’t find
it this year come back next year we and
so in my own body and their life in my
own profession it’s been how do we turn
the conversation around and it begins
with changing the way you think about
this female body the biggest miracle of
my life over the past seven years is
that I have discovered that it is
possible after menopause to be sexy to
be attractive to be a woman to realize
the game isn’t over in fact the game is
just beginning what a miracle
it’s been my experience that men are
desperate to support and appreciate
women and they can’t do it until a woman
knows how to support and appreciate
herself and then she can teach a man how
to support her we have right now in
history this very strange situation in
which when a woman doesn’t know how to
support herself when she doesn’t even
know what turns her on she turns to the
man and says do it for me and if he
can’t figure out what to give her for
Valentine’s Day or her birthday or their
anniversary if she doesn’t give him any
clues he’s a loser he loses and if I
were a guy I would be terrified to be in
relationship with a woman who doesn’t
know what she desires or what turns her
on because you’re left with a load that
is too heavy so the first thing I would
say for a guy is don’t get in a
relationship with that kind of woman
okay labor
it’s fabulously obvious your job is to
love your woman that’s all your job is
to love her
remember the energy that gets the baby
in is the energy that gets the baby out
and that’s Anna Mae Gaston who wrote
spiritual midwifery
and so encourage the women in your life
to care for themselves at the deepest
level and if they turn on you
premenstrual e because they’re in what
Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body you
know we all have to do our part to clean
up our part of the pain body and the
pain body of all women comes up
premenstrual E what you say is honey
take a bath do whatever you need I’ll
see you what I want all women to know is
that within their biology they have the
code for enhancing all of your life the
egg can take a spoon and heal the
genetics of a defective spoon the egg
contains the nourishment that the new
fetus needs to get to the stage before
it gets to the placenta and implants
every time a woman is in her powers she
upgrades everyone and everything around
her this is not a zero-sum model when a
woman is doing better and she’s
healthier and happier she raises me
whenever a woman gets healthy and
happier she heals the earth
the woman’s body is a reflection of the
earth and everything we do to take care
of ourselves to feel pleasure to be
orgasmically joyous heals the entire
planet everyone in South Boston would
call in the middle of the night for sex
advice because you know this was st.
Margaret Hospital Catholic and you know
they didn’t know anything it’s a it’s
one we calls in the middle of the night
one she says to the nurse is it true
when you use that foam it burns your
husband’s penis it’s 3:00 in the morning
the nurse goes I hope so
there’s this interesting thing that
happens when somebody gets it really
downloads a more positive way of
thinking they get hormonal balancing for
one thing we know that when somebody is
thinking with their heart like they see
a puppy or a sleeping baby and they go
on your DHEA levels rise which begins to
balance your hormones but something else
really more important happens and that
is the beat to beat variability of the
heart normalizes and you get into this
wave pattern that you can see on a
heartrate monitor that actually begins
to balance the entire body
given that the heart is a huge
electromagnet that in fact trains the
rest of the body so this thought or the
state of deep relaxation or whatever it
is that enlightens you actually results
in a decrease in stress hormones a
normalization of blood sugar decreasing
of blood pressure and a relaxation of
all smooth muscles it is in fact a
balance of the parasympathetic and
sympathetic nervous system
parasympathetic is the brake and
sympathetic is the gas and most people
in this culture have the gas on all the
time with an occasional right so you’re
going around like this you need to have
when both are in balance which happens
when you breathe through your nose while
exercising you actually it’s like
banking your wood stove with just the
right amount of wood and air you can
work so much more efficiently and so
much longer because you’ve got this
beautiful young young balance of the
parasympathetic and the sympathetic so
any thought of oh man I gotta get
straight A’s here or something’s gonna
happen I don’t know what I mean in my
own case I don’t know what’s gonna
happen you will fail this would be
terrible but then when you go ah so I
could quit so I could I remember my
sister at the time went to four
different colleges I remember thinking
what is wrong with you I mean you know
this will be on your record and now I
realize years later no one has looked at
my record at four years nobody cares
nobody No and those are the thoughts
that your balance that all when you get
it that you have so much more control
over your life than you thought you did
or control over your experience of your
life if not the events of your life
there is this sense that is so playful
and so joyous and you can just start to
Gail when you realize you’ve made it all
up you’re creating it all and there’s a
sense of joyous relief you feel like a
kid but you’ve got all the ego strength
of an adult and it’s ah but you just
before you get there there’s usually
this time of painful joy or joy filled
pain where you might have to break down
with some deep sobs I had that happen in
a workshop with Ann Wilson shape and we
were doing an intervention on one of my
partners who we suspected was an
alcoholic and we all went to get over to
cure our codependence we knew it was
killing us we start a women’s clinic
right we were blaming the guys they
weren’t doing it right we’re gonna do it
what run by women for women here we are
two years out we’re more exhausted than
we ever were when the guys were run
and we weren’t making any money so we
thought okay we’re all codependent so we
better get ourselves to treatment so we
go away to attend a treatment and by
then we suspect someone’s been drinking
too much and I’m wanting to do the
intervention come on let’s get to the
intervention phase and it’s day eight of
this workshop and people are down on the
mats and they’re crying and they’re
weeping and I’m thinking you poor slobs
you’ve got so much pain the rest of us
have it together you don’t of course and
it was like being in labor and delivery
then the time comes for the intervention
and and shave and I start to you know
the intervention you tell the person on
what she loves him I start to tell my
colleague how much it meant to me when
she parked my car when I was in labor
with my second daughter to have a dog to
support you it was like almost too much
and I started to cry and Ann said want
to lie down see what comes up I lie down
to see what comes up and I quickly push
it down push it down push it down push
it down which I was pretty good at then
i sat up and I said
and she says to me your son and the dam
and I lay down
I went through not only my own dance but
I went deep into a place called pain
with all the women who never had anyone
with them in labor all the babies have
died all of the pain and I knew where my
work came from and I knew when I came
here to do which was to transform that
pain into joy
my parents are what I consider to be
Mehta physicians they attended religious
science and unity churches and were big
advocates of using affirmations
visualization and prayer to create the
reality and one of my most memorable
experiences was when our our family
automobile went kerplunk I mean it just
died it was an Opel station wagon and my
dad decided he wanted to get a Ford
Pinto now don’t ask me why you can get
whatever thing you want using your
thoughts but for some reason he had his
heart set on buying a Ford Pinto so he
went to the local toy store and got a
little hot rios diecast model of a Ford
Pinto and he painted it brown because he
wanted a brown Pinto that’s his favorite
color again don’t ask me why and he put
the little Hot Wheels model Ford Pinto
on our family television set dragged my
little brother and I out of our bedrooms
and the four of us sat there every day
and we looked at that little Pinto and
we he had us and visualizing it being
real sitting outside in our driveway and
he had us not only visualize it but
using our entire body he had a picture
what it would feel like to sit in the
car to smell the new car smell to hear
that roar of the four-cylinder Pinto
engine and he had us just imagine every
day that we owned this car we had no
idea how we were going to pay for it but
somehow because of this process we owned
that car
within about two months I mean it wasn’t
like it a skyhook dropped it on her
driveway so I grew up with these lessons
that oh if you want something just
visualize it there it is and and as I
said visualization was a misnomer for us
because we’d use our entire body we
would feel how we would imagine it to
feel we would smell it we would taste it
use our whole senses and we would do
this as a family together and miracles
happen when my parents tell me the story
that they were married seven years and
couldn’t conceive a child so they went
to the local religious science church
and put in a prayer request to conceive
and I was conceived within a month later
so I was born in this sense that prayers
and thoughts and visualization was great
created me and your reality and I don’t
know any different what I do remember is
the 1960s being made terribly fun of for
talking this way
I remember saying the word manifestation
at school one day and the kids all
rolling their eyes away there she goes
again
and so I kept it inside it was something
I did only with my closest friends and
family and I remember that if I wanted
something like when I was a teenager I
wanted to quit smoking I’d taken up
smoking to be cool and fit in and then I
got hooked and I remember my mom and I
pray over the completely lost desire to
smoke and having experiences like that
we have always used affirmative prayer
so there’s two types of prayers one is
supplication where you beg for something
and one is affirmative
which means you thank God or in the
present tense for what you’re asking for
that seems to be in the future so thank
you God that I have a wonderful soulmate
relationship thank you God that I have
this perfect health my husband and I
recently used this prayer to manifest a
wonderful home and our prayer was thank
you God for this beautiful home that we
love so much and easily afford and boy
we sure got that house easily
unfortunately my first marriage was was
very difficult
I was married to man who decided to
control me by telling me how awful I was
and I believed him for a long time and
my self-esteem just plummeted when I was
a young mother and I didn’t really think
very highly and myself had no confidence
and I didn’t think that I could do
anything in the world except for be a
wonderful mother to my two sons which I
think is an important purpose but there
was something more I knew that there was
something else I was supposed to do it
so I would pray all the time tell me my
life purpose and every time I would pray
that I would get visions of myself on
television and on stages teaching people
and to me that seemed like science
fiction because what could I this person
who didn’t have any confidence possibly
teach anyone and yeah I kept getting
these visions to go to to go give
speeches and I didn’t know how to do it
what I later learned is that we don’t
have to worry about how to put our
visions or dreams into reality all we
have to do is follow the guidance that
we get one step at a time
so what happened was one day I was
eating ice cream and thinking I was
happy but I got this moment of truth
that my gosh I’m not happy I’m in a
self-made hell a prison of my own making
and I didn’t know how to get out of it
so I remember getting very humble and
getting down on my knees and saying to
God I don’t know what to do you keep
showing me these visions I’m supposed to
be a speaker I don’t think I’m qualified
I don’t know how to make that happen but
if you’ll show me how I’ll follow it and
that was all it took was right away I
got clear signals of what action steps
to take and it was me surrendering that
desire to control everything or predict
how my dreams would come about once I
surrendered then I was told her I
clearly go to college and I thought how
am I going to go to college I have no
money have his two little boys
we have time or money and so what I
heard very clearly is go call the
guidance counselor they’ll help you so I
called the local college guidance
counselor when in there not knowing how
I was gonna go to college but I was
supposed to and then I just promised God
that I would follow whatever I was told
to do and they helped me to get some
student loans and so the student loans
allowed me to get child care and go to
school and I went school very part-time
in the beginning but eventually I was
able to get my associates degree in
psychology which allowed me to get a job
as a counselor at a liberal alcohol and
drug counseling center and then what my
next assignment was was to start writing
books well I thought I thought this was
enough just to go to college but the
assignments kept coming one step at a
time
and for some reason I got it in my head
that I was going to be published by
Bantam and so I went around the house
and I cut out all a little bantam
rooster is out of my old paperback
Bantam Books and put them all around the
house and I started visualizing my name
on the spine of a book with the little
bands rooster and my third book was
published by Bantam and just like my
favorite visualization I first saw the
book at a bookstore there it was named
on the spine a little bantam rooster and
so things like that have happened my
entire life it’s not enough just to ask
it’s not enough just to have positive
thoughts you’ve got to follow the
guidance you get as a result sometimes
people tell me that they feel like their
prayers are being ignored or that
they’re just spinning their wheels in
mud always these are the folks who are
ignoring seemingly inconsequential
little bits of inner guidance that are
asking them to do something and because
the universe gives us little baby steps
one step at a time
it’s often unrecognized when you’re told
to go read a book take a class call
someone write a letter but if we do step
a then
given the next set of instruction set be
then will given the next set of
instruction step C and it takes a step
by step to where we’re going there are
some people that I’ve met who
unfortunately seem to romanticize pain
or even worse think that it’s God’s
doing God’s will to have pain and that’s
just not my belief my belief is that
God’s will for us is to have health
prosperity abundance love harmony and
yes there are challenges in life that we
all go through and there’s no shame with
that but it’s what you do with the
challenges that counts and we can always
find some blessings and lessons in every
challenge but please let’s not wallow in
them or accept them as our lot in life
let’s learn from them grow and move on
and what I do is I’ve always written
books about them hoping that I can help
someone else out of whatever quagmire I
just got through and so my challenge has
been in some relationships where I’ve
been forced to say goodbye to a couple
of really dear friends who just couldn’t
seem to get out of that victim mentality
and I couldn’t unfortunately stay there
with them I still love them but I just
couldn’t sit there and listen to the
problems day after day after day because
it affects you to be around folks who
want to go on and on about how their
victims
I found that I would come home from
lunches with them or getting off the
phone with them and I would feel too
fast and I would feel guilty and I would
feel heavy and then I would start to
attract those things so unfortunately we
just can’t afford to hang out with folks
who are in that space a lot if we do we
have to almost go in there with a shield
and really stay strong and hopefully we
can lift them up but if we can’t
unfortunately sometimes on the spiritual
path we part ways
well I remember when I was single this
divorce set and I was traveling around
giving workshops and I started to feel
very sorry for myself and I was looking
around at couples that were happy and
kissing go hook of God loves them more
how come I can’t have a soulmate and
that and then I caught myself affirming
in the negative like that why can’t I
have left why don’t I have love and
feeling jealous of other people and once
I caught it I realized what I was doing
because I was making a prayer to not
have a soulmate by affirming that I
didn’t or by being jealous of others so
that’s when I got really clear that hey
wait a minute
I deserve a soulmate when you get that
clarity and that anger on behalf of
yourself the universe just moves quickly
on your behalf and it’s not that they’re
afraid of your anger it’s because you
got clear when I was wishy-washy about
wanting a soulmate
I got wishy-washy results I got well
here’s a guy that’s sort of okay and
maybe this guy can piece these two men
together and have my soul mate this guy
writes poetry in this guy has a good job
so put them together I got a soul mate
but when I got clear right away it
happened and it’s not like my doorbell
rang and in walks Stephen it was
guidance this is how it’s worked for me
every time I’ve visualized reformed I
get this inner roadmap given to me in
the form of gut feelings they’re
repetitive that urged me to take action
or visions in this case I got all of
that plus signs that told me to get go
to yoga class and the signs were in the
form of people without me asking giving
me DVDs and pamphlets about yoga and I
had never wanted to go to yoga I wasn’t
talking about yoga but all of a sudden
everybody that I knew was
made pamphlets for yoga classes I didn’t
put two and two together that this is
how the universe was going to deliver my
soulmate but what I did see was that the
universe wanted me to go to yoga so I
went to yoga and I have to admit I was
kicking and screaming in the beginning I
thought what are you where what do you
do I’m going to feel out of place and I
went there and the second class I looked
over and there’s this cute guy he’s
blazing blue eyes next to me my heart
went boom and I went okay maybe this is
why I’m at yoga class and a little over
a year later we started dating and on
the second date we did that talk where’d
you grow up
where’d you go to school and I was
floored and so was he when we found out
we were next-door neighbors when we were
kids he was our paperboy that I’d had a
huge crush on when I was a little girl
and we hadn’t recognized each other but
I’ve fallen in love with the same guy
twice he is clearly my soul mate I got
what I was looking for but this is what
I tell people who are looking for their
soul mate or anything that they’re
manifesting you it’s not enough just to
ask it’s not enough just to have
positive thoughts
you’ve got to follow the guidance you
get as a result true guidance is always
filled with the senseless aura and
feeling of warmth and love now you might
feel intimidated by what you’re being
asked to do and it might feel
intimidating but false guidance has this
sneaky getting away from an edgy feel to
it so you want to watch out for that if
you hear guidance it’s always in the
second person voicing so it always says
go exercise outside quit drinking go
read this book where false guidance has
that I mean go testicle sense to the
sentences
you you know words was talking to you
about I might fail what if I can’t do
this what if people laugh at me the old
energy of this planet is leaving thank
goodness and the old energy is
competition and greed this belief that
I’ve got to get mine before they get
theirs and the new energy that we’re
coming into is manifestation and
cooperation and the more of us that
learn how to manifest we’re all going to
bring peace to earth one person at a
time that way the the vision that the
angels show me at the future is just
beautiful they show me that we will stop
going to jobs that don’t matter we’ll
stop making meaningless objects that we
spend money on because we feel empty
inside and we’re going to be following
our personal passions and they’ll be
self-employment or cooperative
employment where you’re working together
on a collective passion there be more
meaning in all of our lives and the way
that we do that is by trusting our inner
guidance that you can be fully supported
by the universe by following your dreams
and your passions and your inner
guidance
to mid 20s I was living like a lot of
people do fairly unconsciously but not
aware of my unconsciousness you know
just kind of going through life and
often feeling as though life was
happening to me that I was a victim to
what was going on in my life or that
that the things that the places of my
life where I was unhappy whether it was
in a relationship or where I was living
or in my job had nothing to do with had
little had less to do with what I was
doing and more to do with just sort of
the circumstances of life and I started
to be introduced to looking at the world
in a different way for example through
Louise’s book you can hear you life
which was very influential to me early
on what a lot of people don’t know I
actually have as a side story a funny
little story about Louise that nobody
really knows and that is that um when I
was probably 24 25 years old I
volunteered for an organization called
interphase in Cambridge Mass that was
considered the East Coast Esalen you may
remember that and it’s a place where
people like Deepak Chopra would come and
Bernie Siegel you know God his sort of
start there and I was volunteering there
and I was volunteering because I was
really interested in this whole
self-help field and recovery was a big
big thing at the time and Louise Hay was
coming to speak for interface she was
coming to a halt in downtown Boston and
I had read you can heal your life and I
was really taken by two things number
one the fact that she was teaching from
her own experience and she was so honest
about her life in the book I was really
engaged by that but also the practical
nature of the book that you can actually
do something with it you know you could
look up and see oh I have this physical
ailment therefore this might be going on
and I appreciated the interact you know
that the fact that it was interactive
and so I was really taken by her work
and so I asked if I could be the
volunteer that would drive to the
airport to pick her up
and to take her back to the hall now
nobody knows it’s it’s really ironic
actually Here I am today at Hay House
author and a speaker and Louise doesn’t
even know this so she probably doesn’t
even remember but I remember driving to
the airport it was in the dead of winter
and it was freezing and you know so this
is this is one of the first people who
has really touched my life in a
significant way and has begun the
opening to the belief that wow maybe
there’s something more to life than
meets the eye
like maybe there’s something that I’m
doing in my life that’s creating what’s
happening and not just the fact that
life is happening to me
so I drive to the airport it’s freezing
cold I get there and of course her
flight is delayed and it’s delayed for
about three hours and I sit in the
airport you know is this like young
excited fan you know who just can’t wait
to meet her and I’m you know every time
they say no the flight will be in in 20
minutes I’m like okay fixing myself and
hoping that I look really smart and
hoping that I don’t look too eager
although I’m sure I just looked like a
bumbling idiot just waiting like this
little girl and I remember the flight
finally came was probably at 1 o’clock
in the morning and she had long hair and
she came down the the jet way you know
she was walking down the jet way and I
was watching her and she came out like a
queen and I just sat there speechless
like I can’t believe this is really
Louise hey and I’m gonna meet her and
you know she’s looking around and I’m
I’m just so taken by her that I forget
that I’m supposed to stand up ago hi I’m
here volunteer and eventually I did that
she was very gracious and got in the car
and drove her back and then went to pick
her up at the hotel the next night to
take her to the venue where she was
going to speak and I just remember she
just had such a presence about her way
back then that she still has today and
that night when I heard her speak that
along with some other events that
occurred during that time was the
awakening when I thought wow there’s
something about the way I think that may
be influencing what’s happening in my
life
and so somebody had said to me and I
don’t remember who it was it was some
teacher and talked about how you know
there is this power of greater than us
at work in the world and you know one of
the ways you can test it is one of the
ways you can test how are thinking
partners with this greater power and in
that partnership we can manifest things
in our life and one of the ways you can
test it is very simple just take a
little yellow sticky note and write down
two or three things you’d really like to
have in your life and then keep that
sticky note in view so that you see it
all the time you don’t focus on it too
hard but you just keep it in your
consciousness and so I thought yeah this
is a bunch of baloney but I’ll give it a
try I’m willing to try anything so I
take the little yellow sticky note and I
write I specifically right now because
they said you have to be very specific
about what you want I’ll be general so I
write exactly the kind of computer that
I wanted I was a young writer you know
and wanted back then it was a big deal
to get a computer with a word processor
on you know word processor on it and so
I specifically wrote the kind of
computer and the kind of software and
the kind of word processor that I wanted
and then I put down that I wanted to
travel and this person that said by the
way if there’s certain things you want
make sure you put the word free in front
of them like make it fun so I wrote free
travel and there was a third thing I
don’t remember what it was but this was
in November about a month later for
Christmas my boss at the time I was
working for an entrepreneur as an
administrative assistant my boss gave me
the exact computer that I had written
down on the yellow sticky note as a
Christmas gift
and I remember when I opened the box and
I saw what it was and I saw it happened
to be something I had worked on a system
I had worked on for him and I saw what
he had given me I got oh my god what if
this actually works then I went now it
came possibly it’s just a coincidence
and I said the heck put that in neo
threw it away but then two weeks later a
dear friend of mine who worked for a
large fortune 50 company called me and
said hey guess what I won the top
salesperson award in my company and it’s
a free trip to Boca Vuitton to stay in
the presidential suite of the Boca Raton
Resort Hotel I don’t even know where
Boca Raton was but she said you know I
can bring a guest with me you want to
come with me it won’t cost anything and
we’ll get to stay in the presidential
suite and that’s when I went okay give
me that little sticky dot again maybe
there’s something to this you know and
sure enough and that was a very powerful
experience for me you know I’ve since
grown up a lot since then and I don’t
see the universe as Santa Claus where
you just sort of write things down and
they happen there’s a lot more to it
than that
however it was my commitment to be awake
to become more conscious and my
willingness to actually think about what
I wanted you know that experience gave
me a a visceral sense of what it was
like to be the master of my own destiny
instead of feeling like the victim or
instead of feeling like I was at the
effect of the world maybe I had
something to do with this as well and so
you know many many years later I’m 2025
years older and I realized that the gift
of that little sticky note was the the
recognition the spark of recognition
that I have a lot more to do with what
happens in my life and in the lives of
the people around me than I ever
realized and therefore I need to be very
responsible about that power and it’s my
duty to use it
some of the challenges I see with the
purple with the purple some of the
challenges I see with purple purple
really bothers me okay
there’s something about purple don’t get
me started cuz I’ll do a whole Saturday
Night Live great some of the challenges
that people are faced with are the same
kinds of things the same challenges I’ve
been faced with impatience a lack of
clarity so let’s start there with a lack
of clarity most of us think in
generalities I hate my job I want a new
job okay that’s great that’s a great
place to start but what are you looking
for like getting specific knowing what
you want a lot of people know what they
don’t want but they don’t necessarily
know what they want so really taking the
time to clarify what it is you want like
really investing the time in that it’s
amazing to me we’re so busy that we
don’t really put a lot of time and
energy into really sitting down and
saying what you know what’s working in
my life what isn’t what do I want to
change and then specifically looking at
what I want to change so clarity you
know and then another obstacle is just
not knowing what to do like a lot of
times we’re missing information about
what the next step might be in terms of
the action equation of affirmations plus
actions equals miracles right a lot of
times we’re missing information about
what to do how to take action but we
call it something else like I must be
afraid that that’s why I’m stuck or I’m
sabotaging my success that’s a big one
that’s why you know my my intentions
aren’t happening for me or that’s why
I’m stuck I’m you know I have a fear of
success
that’s why I’m stuck when really a lot
of times it’s quite simple people just
don’t know what to do next that’s where
the profession of coaching has been so
helpful because if you say to me you
want to write a book you know believe me
you’re gonna talk to me about you know
how you’re afraid you have nothing
important to say or it’s all been said
before and you think that’s what’s
keeping you stuck but the truth is you
don’t know that oh I have to write a
book proposal great what does that look
like oh you know what there’s a book out
there called how to write the perfect
book proposal and if you read it it will
show you what it looks like and then you
can actually do it what I’ve found
that’s so wonderful and resilient and
encouraging and inspiring about Humanity
is we will take actions but someone just
helps us to know what it is we need to
do and another important obstacle I
think is isolation we’re lonely and we
need each other you know we came to this
planet together for a reason and I think
it’s a lack of support and an inability
to ask for help that often keeps us
stuck so you may have an intention I
want to write a book you finally get the
information about what it is you need to
do but then you get scared along the way
because we get scared and who’s there to
hold your hand or to say you know what
it’s okay you know yes you can do this
just like let’s break it down into to an
even smaller step so that you stay
moving in the right direction instead of
allowing yourself to be stuck and you
know by the way don’t go to the hardware
store for milk make sure you turn to
people for support who are really going
to support you because a lot of us when
we start doing those things to honor our
soul or to express our creativity those
are really vulnerable acts you know the
things that we intend or that we affirm
for our lives are those things that are
deeply important to our soul and so
they’re vulnerable
and too often we turn to people who just
squash them you know or who tell you why
it isn’t gonna work or why that’s a
crazy affirmation or that’s a crazy
intention that’s called going to the
hardware store for milk you want to go
to the people who are really going to
hold your hand on the journey and say
hey I’m there right there with you so
those are some of the obstacles
so in my life I would say the first I
can’t say the first half of my life
because who knows where I am in it but
probably the first thirty thirty or so
years of my life most of my spiritual
growth was around relationships I
actually find that to be true for a lot
of people that it’s our relationships
particularly our romantic or intimate
relationships where we get challenged
the most early on and so a lot of my I
would often choose men I would often
fall in love with a man’s potential and
then have a relationship with the dream
of that relationship so I would
literally be in relationship with the
dream of what it could be instead of the
reality of what it was and that’s like
probably the most prevalent theme
throughout all of my early relationships
and the gift of them the gift of every
single person I was ever involved with
and I see all of them as spiritual
change agents today is that they really
forced me to grow you know there were
the painful relationships with the men
who weren’t emotionally available and I
thought for sure you know they just they
couldn’t feel their feelings and they
couldn’t be there for me emotionally
until you know a therapist said to me
did it ever occur to you that maybe you
can’t feel your feelings and you can’t
be there emotionally for people and that
was a whole new concept for me and you
know and so that man who quote couldn’t
feel his feelings became a catalyst for
me looking at my own inability to do
that and so a lot of my relationships
were unbalanced as well a lot of times I
would choose partners who weren’t ready
for their own commitment to
consciousness like I was and I was
trying to get them on board which is a
really arrogant and inappropriate thing
to do but I didn’t know it at the time I
thought I was being helpful and you know
controlling looked like helpful and
loving and and so I reached a point in
my life I mean the truth was I was
really afraid of being alone and so I
would rather be in a relationship that
wasn’t fulfilling than be alone you know
like a lot of women I grew up you know
from generations of women where it was
just it wasn’t okay to be alone and so
when I finally had enough therapy under
my belt and enough healing under my belt
where I said you know what something
tells me I better be alone for a while
if I’m gonna find a good relationship
and I finally got my own apartment and
moved in and dealt with all of the
discomfort of that in the beginning and
then quit not quickly was not quickly
over time began to fall in love with
myself and my own place and then I
started to think about meeting a partner
and I started to you know face the
reality that I was lonely in a different
way and that I wanted someone to share
my life with you know by that point so
this is around 33 or 34 I had a clear
history of having intentions having
affirmations taking actions and watching
miracles unfold in my life I mean I have
a million examples of how that happened
in very powerful ways and I write a lot
about those experiences and so I decided
you know what I’m gonna take this and
I’m gonna craft myself a great partner
and I spent seven days writing about
exactly the kind of man I’d like to meet
his physical qualities intellectual
where he was at financially in his life
spiritually all the way down to I hope
he loves dogs and you know I hope he has
dark hair and dark eyes because I’m so
attracted to men with dark hair and dark
eyes my prayer is always you know to God
please allow this or something greater
to occur you know please if this isn’t
in my highest and best interest that’s
okay don’t let it happen then you know
but please make this or something
greater occur that supports my highest
and best interest so every day I worked
on this list and then at the end of
seven days I gave it to a close friend
and I said here have I missed anything
because you’re always gonna miss
something and I did and she helped me to
you know really tighten up the list and
then I created a treasure map something
I’ve taught for years and I took a big
poster board and I started to take
pictures of men that I thought were
attractive out of magazines to kind of
fit that profile and I in men with dogs
and you know men engaged and different
act the kinds of things that I like to
do and you know just this board sort of
like a storyboard of what my life would
look like if I were in love with my
perfect mate
one night I was sitting in my apartment
with a girl friend of mine who was an
actress and she was going through a
magazine that had personal ads in it and
she was reading the different personal
ads with different accents as part of
her acting training so she gave it to me
she said here you try with an Italian
accent I suck at that so I said you know
I’d open up the magazine and I start to
read this one out and I say to her oh my
god this is an amazing ad she said read
it to me and I read it to her and I said
wow there was something about it that
just really hit me and she said call it
I said absolutely not I’m not calling a
personal ad are you kidding me
she said I dare you to call it I said no
way I’m not doing it so I put the
magazine down every day for four days I
picked up that magazine in my apartment
and I read that ad and on the fifth day
I remembered affirmations plus action
creates miracles and I remember where I
was standing I remember the exact phone
I used I picked up the phone and I
dialed the box number on the ad and
before I said anything into the
recording I hope I said out loud I’m
this is my prayer to the universe I’m
ready to meet somebody important in my
life I don’t know whether it’s this
person or not but this phone call is my
willingness to take action to make that
happen
two days later Michael called I love the
name Michael by the way as well and he
called to respond to the ad and we spoke
by phone I was so nervous talked by
phone he sent me his photo I sent him
mind on the day that we were supposed to
meet for dinner I went to the post
office in his photo never arrived and I
thought I thought to myself God should I
cancelled the date and wait for the
photo and I said yeah just go and I
walked to the you know I went to the
restaurant artist to meet him and he
walks through the door and I’ll never
forget he walked through the door I
thought please God
and he walked up to me and he went
Cheryl and here I was this professional
speaker right this like all together
woman and I went Michel like a little
girl and that night was the first time
in my life where I couldn’t catch my
breath through the whole dinners matter
fact he started making fun of me and as
I got to know him I realized he met just
about everything on my list except
cooking I forgot to put a man that cooks
on my list which I really want to go on
record is saying is an important thing
if you don’t cook but no but honest to
god
so that was thirteen years ago and I
knew this was the man I was gonna marry
it was the best day of my life to marry
him he could make me cry just thinking
about it and that was a powerful example
of having a strong affirmation really
being clear about what it is you want
being willing to take the actions to
make it happen and by the way really
investing in how you know how I needed
to grow in order to match that list and
I got you know that’s what a soulmate
really is and that’s when I look look at
all of the things that have occurred in
my life as a result of my intentions
that’s the best one you know it’s
amazing to me how when we create
intentions and affirmations from that
pure soul place what we’re really
calling into our lives are the very
things that are meant to assist us in
our spiritual journey I mean my life is
so far different than I could have ever
imagined and I wouldn’t I didn’t know
like sometimes we don’t know the power
of our intentions and our affirmations
and that’s why it’s so important to
listen to that little voice inside
because you know Emmett Fox said it
years ago you know the great the great
spiritual teacher from the early 1900’s
Emmett Fox said usually our deepest
desires are those things that that we’re
most were the most embarrassed to admit
out loud you know we don’t want to say
them out loud but those are usually the
desires of the soul and when we state
them and when we put them in writing and
when we start to act on them there is
this divine power that rallies behind us
to support our efforts I mean I met
Michael in two weeks that’s pretty quick
manifestation wouldn’t you say but there
were a lot of years before that where
the lag time was much longer and you
know what it was the right time
and a lot of times we intend to bring
things into our lives into an already to
full life and so sometimes what we need
to do is actually make the space as
that’s actually part of the action plan
is making the space to allow in whatever
it is we intend because too many of us
just don’t have the space in our lives
for that now that was you know something
I really did have to create the space
and I also had to look at how deathly
afraid I was I saw a marriage as um as a
cage on a very deep level I saw it as a
cage and little did I know I was living
in a cage and when I met this man he had
the key that opened it who would have
thought I would have never bought
you know the affirmations is just the
starting point that’s like going okay
here’s where the goal is what really
gives those affirmations power is the
emotion we put behind it so what’s
interesting is you start out the journey
going okay let me start here step one is
what’s the affirmation step two is you
know how can i generate the emotional
power behind that affirmation and a lot
of that comes from taking actions to
support that affirmation that’s how you
begin to step into that state and then
as you step into that state and you take
actions and you put the emotional power
behind those affirmations they begin to
manifest themselves in your life now you
come for a full circle and the opposite
then becomes true where or it really is
just a more full circle in that it’s
more about living in that powerful
emotional state and the belief that all
that I need is right here in this moment
love truly is the most powerful force in
the world
you know abundance is our birthright and
available to each and every one of us if
it’s part of our spiritual plan and so
it’s living in that emotional and
energetic state that is the sort of end
I don’t know it’s probably not the end
game we’ll see what happens next right
but it is that it’s that way of being
that that you get to now live in as a
result of the work you did early on kind
of installing those affirmations in your
brain I think of my brain as a computer
I’ve installed some great software it
plays in the background I don’t even
know what it is anymore I don’t even
hear the words but I live in the state
of those words as much as I possibly can
and I feel when I’m not living in that
state I grew up in a family in which we
were interested in organic food and the
mind-body connection actually my father
was a dentist and holistically oriented
and he would say that you can tell the
state of somebody’s health by looking in
their mouth and that also the mouth is
the center of the personality and that’s
why no one likes you mucking around in
there and why dentists have the second
highest suicide rate second to
psychiatrists in that the mouth is
perhaps less demoralizing than looking
into their mind so I grew up
with a different take my aunt and uncle
were both medical doctors straight
medical doctors and they made fun of my
father’s ideas but he was always happier
and our family did not believe too much
in conventional medicine so my earliest
memories are of having my brother Billy
being signed out of the hospital against
medical advice he wouldn’t eat and a
nurse came up to my mother and said get
him out of here the doctors don’t know
what’s going on he’ll die if he stays
here and I’d had a sister who died in
the hospital early on and she didn’t eat
either and we never knew what was wrong
with her so imagine you’re a kid I’m
eight at this time and my little brother
is home and he has a tube down his
throat and my parents are feeding him by
tube every hour on the hour and he’s
throwing it back up and at the age of a
year he was alive at the age of a year
he weighed 10 pounds and my parents
tried to find a doctor who knew what was
going on
and he finally found a woman doctor dr.
Crump at Women’s Medical Center in
Philadelphia who did pediatric endoscopy
put a tube down and said his esophagus
is so eroded from this tube that if you
continue to tube feed him that way
his esophagus will erode through
there’ll be a big hole in it and he will
die let’s take out the tube and see what
happens and so she had enough faith in
the healing power of the human body that
she took out the tube and they gave him
liquids through what was called crisis
where he put a big bolus of fluid with a
big needle into the thigh and after a
couple days he started to eat and we
still don’t know
why and I remember going to the airport
and my mother was holding him on her lap
and he was eating a role that the
stewardess had given him and we all
started to cry and when I went to
medical school which I wasn’t going to
do I never wanted to be a doctor I
thought my aunt locals life looked not
fun they had to leave every Thanksgiving
and every Christmas but I remember
thinking when I go to medical school I
want to find out why doctors don’t talk
to patients I want to find out why the
fullness of the mystery is not addressed
and I never intended to practice
medicine but I always believed from my
childhood experiences that there was
more going on than what we were taught
now and like most medical students I
became puffed up I became very proud of
what we could do with drugs and surgery
and but when I saw the first time I saw
baby horn I started to cry
I just wept with a combination really of
joy and also sorrow and the nurse was
yelling at the medical student and she
because he had let go of the cord and
there like a mini fire hose and it was
going all over the wall and I’m thinking
this is holy this is a holy place this
is not a place where you yell at anybody
and it occurred to me nobody should be
in that room during a birth who didn’t
know this was holy and it was that
experience that caused me to become an
obstetrician-gynecologist and being
around women giving birth was like being
like breathing it was that easy but I
also saw that fear and anger and all of
this completely messed up the process of
birth
but I didn’t know how to get those ideas
across to the patient especially if her
mother had already told her now you’ll
see how I suffered with you and I did
all kinds of work trying to prove to
myself that the mind-body connection was
real and how did we how did we get into
the mind so that the body would change I
myself had terrible migraine headaches
from the age of 12 to the age of 21 once
a month twice a month whatever I’d been
worked up in a Boston hospital a week
there with all kinds of testing they
never knew what it was at the age of 19
I had to do this English paper a
critique of the poem ode on a Grecian
urn or ode to a Grecian urn by Keats and
I didn’t know what the professor wanted
and like most my grayness personalities
I needed to know what it was they wanted
of me and I couldn’t figure it out and
it was in Cleveland Ohio and it was in
November and when I came out of the
library not knowing how to get an A in
the course I temporarily thought maybe I
should just throw myself in front of a
car it would be easier than this and
then I thought no you know you’ll break
your leg and then you’re gonna have to
do the poem and then you’re gonna have
to lug around to cast at the same time
like it you know the idea that I had a
choice never occurred to me because I
was operating on a belief system that
was obsolete I go back to my dorm I call
my parents and I say I hate it here this
isn’t working for me and my father says
quit so quick you can come home
and I changed my mind and in that moment
I changed the migraine headaches and
maybe had three or four the rest of my
whole life
because I changed this pattern this
sixth emotional center perception
thought morality which is what headaches
are and my perception was you must do
this and I’ve been a really been driven
my whole life
to get it right and get it right though
in the way that the culture and in my
case the practice of medicine says is
right but here’s the problem
most of what I was taught in medicine
about what causes disease is not the
truth I cured my migraine headaches
not with imitrex not with advil i cured
him with a change of perception you see
and the only time that I got him from
then on is when I was doing something my
greenness like trying to clean up my
entire house in half of the day because
I had the time now if I could just
organize the clutter from 25 years and I
can get in this state of being driven
where I’m completely disconnected from
my mind and my body and I’m just going
for it it’s a beautiful way to get
through a surgical subspecialty keep
your head down keep your nose to the
grindstone but you know what happens
when you do that you get cortisol levels
that are too high adrenaline levels that
are too high these are the stress
hormones they constrict blood vessels in
every place in the body and headaches
are just the beginning so the belief
system behind the migraines which I had
for as long as I could remember was you
must get straight A’s in school it was
this internal pressure you must perform
to a certain level and I was the
valedictorian and in my class in
Ellicott Hills Central High everyone who
had ever gone to college that I knew
about had gotten pregnant and dropped
out
so I had this idea that when I went to
college I was going to be washed out
quickly so I studied like you know this
was in the 60s and 70s this was
everybody’s on birth control having sex
with everything not nailed down and
they’re all smoking dope and I am I am
here to study what is wrong with the
rest of you people I didn’t understand
what the Kent State thing was all about
like what are you doing okay it’s spring
in Cleveland
you’re throwing rocks at the horses a
nuclear a venire policeman but I have a
biology exam here so there was this
tremendous drive to achieve in a certain
way which was academically in a certain
way when I temporarily decided it would
be easier to throw myself in front of a
car and then quickly realize you know
it’s like mental health came on board
quickly because I grew up as a pretty
optimistic person when my father said so
quit it was that I had I had the
patriarchal authority figure in my
family saying you have another choice
you could quit come home live here and
in that moment I could stay because I
knew I could leave because I instantly
in that moment thought okay what would I
do in my hometown what would I marry my
high school boyfriend I mean what would
I do
probably it would be better if I stayed
here and finish this degree but maybe I
could finish it in a way that was a
little lighter and more free and what is
the worst thing that could happen you
might get a B instead of an A and what
is the worst thing that could happen
there probably nothing
and so I actually began to enjoy aspects
of my life and live more in the moment
and then had the experience actually of
getting a seat in organic chemistry and
being thrilled to pass
I had a big fibroid tumor in my late 40s
and it was diagnosed on pelvic exam
right after I finished my first book
women’s bodies women’s wisdom so the
first place I went and my head was oh I
caught one
I’ve been around fiber it so long that I
caught one you know when you’re under
stress you go right back to your
original programming which is the germ
theory of disease right so I must have
caught one like these things are
contagious and but you know the law of
attraction is contagious and I thought
it was something about the book because
I knew fibroids were creativity that
hasn’t been earthed yet and then it got
bigger and it got bigger and it got
bigger until finally one Thanksgiving I
had that experience of and I tried in
acupuncture twice a week I was
macrobiotic I did everything known to
humanity and my patients had often been
able to deem materialized fibroids and
iOS knew it was possible I couldn’t and
I finally one Thanksgiving said I’m so
sick of dressing around this thing I
look pregnant I’m just getting it out of
here I mean that’s what surgeries for
let’s go do it
and I knew enough when I went under
anesthesia to have the anesthesiologist
repeat some statements so that I would
reprogram and go into these sort of deep
hypnosis and the one statement was and
you awaken the pattern that created this
will have left your life and I was a
single woman to you asleep fibroids are
creativity that hasn’t been birthed yet
and they are also caused by shoving your
creative energy your second chakra sex
power money derive into some kind of
avenue great because you know ovaries
are female balls and we have to we have
drives toward what we want in my case I
wanted partnership in my relationship
and my relationship was not where I was
going to find partnership but what
happens if you don’t know better and you
don’t have the insight if it’s not
working you do it harder and so I kept
trying everything I knew to do to fix
the marriage which is completely done I
mean you have to work on fixing you or
transforming you and but the fibroid had
gotten to this certain point and then I
had the surgery and as I did my recovery
it was I said when I do this recovery I
want this to be the postpartum rest than
I have never given myself and I rested
for a whole month and I said you know
the next thing that comes out of my womb
I’m gonna have a postpartum rest and so
I began to change patterns in my
relationship because I started to take
care of my deepest self starting right
with my womb the center really of a
woman’s body
and that began to change the dynamic of
the relationship and it really had
nowhere to go though you don’t know that
until a retrospective until
retrospectively I mean it’s like I
really even in the divorce proceedings
was certain that I could do something to
make it work so we have these mental
patterns and my pattern is certainly is
like show up and get her done
okay and it works it works good you know
and but it doesn’t work in a
relationship or in some place where you
have to let the universe bring in what’s
missing that’s more yen I was very good
at young and you know I’m a really good
surgical type brain but this was to
balance and allow something to come to
you people do affirmations and they do
their journals and they wear purple and
all that but boy when it comes to the
vagina the vulva the breasts the uterus
that all goes out the window because
these organs know we’re taught these are
woman’s these organs were created
because Eve ate the apple and screwed up
and these are going to get me and so the
whole conversation around women’s health
is what can go wrong let’s screen for
what can go wrong and if we don’t find
it this year come back next year we and
so in my own body and their life in my
own profession it’s been how do we turn
the conversation around and it begins
with changing the way you think about
this female body the biggest miracle of
my life over the past seven years is
that I have discovered that it is
possible after menopause to be sexy to
be attractive to be a woman to realize
the game isn’t over in fact the game is
just beginning what a miracle
it’s been my experience that men are
desperate to support and appreciate
women and they can’t do it until a woman
knows how to support and appreciate
herself and then she can teach a man how
to support her we have right now in
history this very strange situation in
which when a woman doesn’t know how to
support herself when she doesn’t even
know what turns her on she turns to the
man and says do it for me and if he
can’t figure out what to give her for
Valentine’s Day or her birthday or their
anniversary if she doesn’t give him any
clues he’s a loser he loses and if I
were a guy I would be terrified to be in
relationship with a woman who doesn’t
know what she desires or what turns her
on because you’re left with a load that
is too heavy so the first thing I would
say for a guy is don’t get in a
relationship with that kind of woman
okay labor
it’s fabulously obvious your job is to
love your woman that’s all your job is
to love her
remember the energy that gets the baby
in is the energy that gets the baby out
and that’s Anna Mae Gaston who wrote
spiritual midwifery
and so encourage the women in your life
to care for themselves at the deepest
level and if they turn on you
premenstrual e because they’re in what
Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body you
know we all have to do our part to clean
up our part of the pain body and the
pain body of all women comes up
premenstrual E what you say is honey
take a bath do whatever you need I’ll
see you what I want all women to know is
that within their biology they have the
code for enhancing all of your life the
egg can take a spoon and heal the
genetics of a defective spoon the egg
contains the nourishment that the new
fetus needs to get to the stage before
it gets to the placenta and implants
every time a woman is in her powers she
upgrades everyone and everything around
her this is not a zero-sum model when a
woman is doing better and she’s
healthier and happier she raises me
whenever a woman gets healthy and
happier she heals the earth
the woman’s body is a reflection of the
earth and everything we do to take care
of ourselves to feel pleasure to be
orgasmically joyous heals the entire
planet everyone in South Boston would
call in the middle of the night for sex
advice because you know this was st.
Margaret Hospital Catholic and you know
they didn’t know anything it’s a it’s
one we calls in the middle of the night
one she says to the nurse is it true
when you use that foam it burns your
husband’s penis it’s 3:00 in the morning
the nurse goes I hope so
there’s this interesting thing that
happens when somebody gets it really
downloads a more positive way of
thinking they get hormonal balancing for
one thing we know that when somebody is
thinking with their heart like they see
a puppy or a sleeping baby and they go
on your DHEA levels rise which begins to
balance your hormones but something else
really more important happens and that
is the beat to beat variability of the
heart normalizes and you get into this
wave pattern that you can see on a
heartrate monitor that actually begins
to balance the entire body
given that the heart is a huge
electromagnet that in fact trains the
rest of the body so this thought or the
state of deep relaxation or whatever it
is that enlightens you actually results
in a decrease in stress hormones a
normalization of blood sugar decreasing
of blood pressure and a relaxation of
all smooth muscles it is in fact a
balance of the parasympathetic and
sympathetic nervous system
parasympathetic is the brake and
sympathetic is the gas and most people
in this culture have the gas on all the
time with an occasional right so you’re
going around like this you need to have
when both are in balance which happens
when you breathe through your nose while
exercising you actually it’s like
banking your wood stove with just the
right amount of wood and air you can
work so much more efficiently and so
much longer because you’ve got this
beautiful young young balance of the
parasympathetic and the sympathetic so
any thought of oh man I gotta get
straight A’s here or something’s gonna
happen I don’t know what I mean in my
own case I don’t know what’s gonna
happen you will fail this would be
terrible but then when you go ah so I
could quit so I could I remember my
sister at the time went to four
different colleges I remember thinking
what is wrong with you I mean you know
this will be on your record and now I
realize years later no one has looked at
my record at four years nobody cares
nobody No and those are the thoughts
that your balance that all when you get
it that you have so much more control
over your life than you thought you did
or control over your experience of your
life if not the events of your life
there is this sense that is so playful
and so joyous and you can just start to
Gail when you realize you’ve made it all
up you’re creating it all and there’s a
sense of joyous relief you feel like a
kid but you’ve got all the ego strength
of an adult and it’s ah but you just
before you get there there’s usually
this time of painful joy or joy filled
pain where you might have to break down
with some deep sobs I had that happen in
a workshop with Ann Wilson shape and we
were doing an intervention on one of my
partners who we suspected was an
alcoholic and we all went to get over to
cure our codependence we knew it was
killing us we start a women’s clinic
right we were blaming the guys they
weren’t doing it right we’re gonna do it
what run by women for women here we are
two years out we’re more exhausted than
we ever were when the guys were run
and we weren’t making any money so we
thought okay we’re all codependent so we
better get ourselves to treatment so we
go away to attend a treatment and by
then we suspect someone’s been drinking
too much and I’m wanting to do the
intervention come on let’s get to the
intervention phase and it’s day eight of
this workshop and people are down on the
mats and they’re crying and they’re
weeping and I’m thinking you poor slobs
you’ve got so much pain the rest of us
have it together you don’t of course and
it was like being in labor and delivery
then the time comes for the intervention
and and shave and I start to you know
the intervention you tell the person on
what she loves him I start to tell my
colleague how much it meant to me when
she parked my car when I was in labor
with my second daughter to have a dog to
support you it was like almost too much
and I started to cry and Ann said want
to lie down see what comes up I lie down
to see what comes up and I quickly push
it down push it down push it down push
it down which I was pretty good at then
i sat up and I said
and she says to me your son and the dam
and I lay down
I went through not only my own dance but
I went deep into a place called pain
with all the women who never had anyone
with them in labor all the babies have
died all of the pain and I knew where my
work came from and I knew when I came
here to do which was to transform that
pain into joy
my parents are what I consider to be
Mehta physicians they attended religious
science and unity churches and were big
advocates of using affirmations
visualization and prayer to create the
reality and one of my most memorable
experiences was when our our family
automobile went kerplunk I mean it just
died it was an Opel station wagon and my
dad decided he wanted to get a Ford
Pinto now don’t ask me why you can get
whatever thing you want using your
thoughts but for some reason he had his
heart set on buying a Ford Pinto so he
went to the local toy store and got a
little hot rios diecast model of a Ford
Pinto and he painted it brown because he
wanted a brown Pinto that’s his favorite
color again don’t ask me why and he put
the little Hot Wheels model Ford Pinto
on our family television set dragged my
little brother and I out of our bedrooms
and the four of us sat there every day
and we looked at that little Pinto and
we he had us and visualizing it being
real sitting outside in our driveway and
he had us not only visualize it but
using our entire body he had a picture
what it would feel like to sit in the
car to smell the new car smell to hear
that roar of the four-cylinder Pinto
engine and he had us just imagine every
day that we owned this car we had no
idea how we were going to pay for it but
somehow because of this process we owned
that car
within about two months I mean it wasn’t
like it a skyhook dropped it on her
driveway so I grew up with these lessons
that oh if you want something just
visualize it there it is and and as I
said visualization was a misnomer for us
because we’d use our entire body we
would feel how we would imagine it to
feel we would smell it we would taste it
use our whole senses and we would do
this as a family together and miracles
happen when my parents tell me the story
that they were married seven years and
couldn’t conceive a child so they went
to the local religious science church
and put in a prayer request to conceive
and I was conceived within a month later
so I was born in this sense that prayers
and thoughts and visualization was great
created me and your reality and I don’t
know any different what I do remember is
the 1960s being made terribly fun of for
talking this way
I remember saying the word manifestation
at school one day and the kids all
rolling their eyes away there she goes
again
and so I kept it inside it was something
I did only with my closest friends and
family and I remember that if I wanted
something like when I was a teenager I
wanted to quit smoking I’d taken up
smoking to be cool and fit in and then I
got hooked and I remember my mom and I
pray over the completely lost desire to
smoke and having experiences like that
we have always used affirmative prayer
so there’s two types of prayers one is
supplication where you beg for something
and one is affirmative
which means you thank God or in the
present tense for what you’re asking for
that seems to be in the future so thank
you God that I have a wonderful soulmate
relationship thank you God that I have
this perfect health my husband and I
recently used this prayer to manifest a
wonderful home and our prayer was thank
you God for this beautiful home that we
love so much and easily afford and boy
we sure got that house easily
unfortunately my first marriage was was
very difficult
I was married to man who decided to
control me by telling me how awful I was
and I believed him for a long time and
my self-esteem just plummeted when I was
a young mother and I didn’t really think
very highly and myself had no confidence
and I didn’t think that I could do
anything in the world except for be a
wonderful mother to my two sons which I
think is an important purpose but there
was something more I knew that there was
something else I was supposed to do it
so I would pray all the time tell me my
life purpose and every time I would pray
that I would get visions of myself on
television and on stages teaching people
and to me that seemed like science
fiction because what could I this person
who didn’t have any confidence possibly
teach anyone and yeah I kept getting
these visions to go to to go give
speeches and I didn’t know how to do it
what I later learned is that we don’t
have to worry about how to put our
visions or dreams into reality all we
have to do is follow the guidance that
we get one step at a time
so what happened was one day I was
eating ice cream and thinking I was
happy but I got this moment of truth
that my gosh I’m not happy I’m in a
self-made hell a prison of my own making
and I didn’t know how to get out of it
so I remember getting very humble and
getting down on my knees and saying to
God I don’t know what to do you keep
showing me these visions I’m supposed to
be a speaker I don’t think I’m qualified
I don’t know how to make that happen but
if you’ll show me how I’ll follow it and
that was all it took was right away I
got clear signals of what action steps
to take and it was me surrendering that
desire to control everything or predict
how my dreams would come about once I
surrendered then I was told her I
clearly go to college and I thought how
am I going to go to college I have no
money have his two little boys
we have time or money and so what I
heard very clearly is go call the
guidance counselor they’ll help you so I
called the local college guidance
counselor when in there not knowing how
I was gonna go to college but I was
supposed to and then I just promised God
that I would follow whatever I was told
to do and they helped me to get some
student loans and so the student loans
allowed me to get child care and go to
school and I went school very part-time
in the beginning but eventually I was
able to get my associates degree in
psychology which allowed me to get a job
as a counselor at a liberal alcohol and
drug counseling center and then what my
next assignment was was to start writing
books well I thought I thought this was
enough just to go to college but the
assignments kept coming one step at a
time
and for some reason I got it in my head
that I was going to be published by
Bantam and so I went around the house
and I cut out all a little bantam
rooster is out of my old paperback
Bantam Books and put them all around the
house and I started visualizing my name
on the spine of a book with the little
bands rooster and my third book was
published by Bantam and just like my
favorite visualization I first saw the
book at a bookstore there it was named
on the spine a little bantam rooster and
so things like that have happened my
entire life it’s not enough just to ask
it’s not enough just to have positive
thoughts you’ve got to follow the
guidance you get as a result sometimes
people tell me that they feel like their
prayers are being ignored or that
they’re just spinning their wheels in
mud always these are the folks who are
ignoring seemingly inconsequential
little bits of inner guidance that are
asking them to do something and because
the universe gives us little baby steps
one step at a time
it’s often unrecognized when you’re told
to go read a book take a class call
someone write a letter but if we do step
a then
given the next set of instruction set be
then will given the next set of
instruction step C and it takes a step
by step to where we’re going there are
some people that I’ve met who
unfortunately seem to romanticize pain
or even worse think that it’s God’s
doing God’s will to have pain and that’s
just not my belief my belief is that
God’s will for us is to have health
prosperity abundance love harmony and
yes there are challenges in life that we
all go through and there’s no shame with
that but it’s what you do with the
challenges that counts and we can always
find some blessings and lessons in every
challenge but please let’s not wallow in
them or accept them as our lot in life
let’s learn from them grow and move on
and what I do is I’ve always written
books about them hoping that I can help
someone else out of whatever quagmire I
just got through and so my challenge has
been in some relationships where I’ve
been forced to say goodbye to a couple
of really dear friends who just couldn’t
seem to get out of that victim mentality
and I couldn’t unfortunately stay there
with them I still love them but I just
couldn’t sit there and listen to the
problems day after day after day because
it affects you to be around folks who
want to go on and on about how their
victims
I found that I would come home from
lunches with them or getting off the
phone with them and I would feel too
fast and I would feel guilty and I would
feel heavy and then I would start to
attract those things so unfortunately we
just can’t afford to hang out with folks
who are in that space a lot if we do we
have to almost go in there with a shield
and really stay strong and hopefully we
can lift them up but if we can’t
unfortunately sometimes on the spiritual
path we part ways
well I remember when I was single this
divorce set and I was traveling around
giving workshops and I started to feel
very sorry for myself and I was looking
around at couples that were happy and
kissing go hook of God loves them more
how come I can’t have a soulmate and
that and then I caught myself affirming
in the negative like that why can’t I
have left why don’t I have love and
feeling jealous of other people and once
I caught it I realized what I was doing
because I was making a prayer to not
have a soulmate by affirming that I
didn’t or by being jealous of others so
that’s when I got really clear that hey
wait a minute
I deserve a soulmate when you get that
clarity and that anger on behalf of
yourself the universe just moves quickly
on your behalf and it’s not that they’re
afraid of your anger it’s because you
got clear when I was wishy-washy about
wanting a soulmate
I got wishy-washy results I got well
here’s a guy that’s sort of okay and
maybe this guy can piece these two men
together and have my soul mate this guy
writes poetry in this guy has a good job
so put them together I got a soul mate
but when I got clear right away it
happened and it’s not like my doorbell
rang and in walks Stephen it was
guidance this is how it’s worked for me
every time I’ve visualized reformed I
get this inner roadmap given to me in
the form of gut feelings they’re
repetitive that urged me to take action
or visions in this case I got all of
that plus signs that told me to get go
to yoga class and the signs were in the
form of people without me asking giving
me DVDs and pamphlets about yoga and I
had never wanted to go to yoga I wasn’t
talking about yoga but all of a sudden
everybody that I knew was
made pamphlets for yoga classes I didn’t
put two and two together that this is
how the universe was going to deliver my
soulmate but what I did see was that the
universe wanted me to go to yoga so I
went to yoga and I have to admit I was
kicking and screaming in the beginning I
thought what are you where what do you
do I’m going to feel out of place and I
went there and the second class I looked
over and there’s this cute guy he’s
blazing blue eyes next to me my heart
went boom and I went okay maybe this is
why I’m at yoga class and a little over
a year later we started dating and on
the second date we did that talk where’d
you grow up
where’d you go to school and I was
floored and so was he when we found out
we were next-door neighbors when we were
kids he was our paperboy that I’d had a
huge crush on when I was a little girl
and we hadn’t recognized each other but
I’ve fallen in love with the same guy
twice he is clearly my soul mate I got
what I was looking for but this is what
I tell people who are looking for their
soul mate or anything that they’re
manifesting you it’s not enough just to
ask it’s not enough just to have
positive thoughts
you’ve got to follow the guidance you
get as a result true guidance is always
filled with the senseless aura and
feeling of warmth and love now you might
feel intimidated by what you’re being
asked to do and it might feel
intimidating but false guidance has this
sneaky getting away from an edgy feel to
it so you want to watch out for that if
you hear guidance it’s always in the
second person voicing so it always says
go exercise outside quit drinking go
read this book where false guidance has
that I mean go testicle sense to the
sentences
you you know words was talking to you
about I might fail what if I can’t do
this what if people laugh at me the old
energy of this planet is leaving thank
goodness and the old energy is
competition and greed this belief that
I’ve got to get mine before they get
theirs and the new energy that we’re
coming into is manifestation and
cooperation and the more of us that
learn how to manifest we’re all going to
bring peace to earth one person at a
time that way the the vision that the
angels show me at the future is just
beautiful they show me that we will stop
going to jobs that don’t matter we’ll
stop making meaningless objects that we
spend money on because we feel empty
inside and we’re going to be following
our personal passions and they’ll be
self-employment or cooperative
employment where you’re working together
on a collective passion there be more
meaning in all of our lives and the way
that we do that is by trusting our inner
guidance that you can be fully supported
by the universe by following your dreams
and your passions and your inner
guidance
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