[Music]
you’re basically gonna be replaceable
that’s the fate that most people have so
the game of life if it is a game the end
game is to be unreplaceable
and so I’m a great believer in baby
steps in the learning how to do things
on a daily basis you’re not going to get
very far in life if you’re alienating
everyone around you the motivations
watching top 10 with believe nation grab
a snack and chew on today’s lessons from
a man who went from having as much as 80
jobs before becoming a writer including
being a translator construction worker
in the Hollywood movie writer to
becoming an author of six international
bestsellers and being referenced in
songs by jay-z Kanye West and Drake Keys
Robert Greene and here’s my take on his
top ten rules a success volume to enjoy
also if you want to know what Robert
Greene and other successful writers have
to say about what it takes to be a
successful writer check out my 250 for
writers wisdom series where every day
for the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence as a writer the link to
join is in the description below
at any time I deviated from that love
and went into something else I just was
so unhappy but even within the careers
that were pursuing we can train
ourselves to think like outsiders and
help loosen up the mind in the process
you have this like wealth of information
and knowledge and ability to acquire
skills that nobody a hundred years ago
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one learn to act better well I’m
basically challenging this idea this
notion that people have that acting in
life in being social and in wearing that
mask is a bad thing as if we need to be
more authentic and be just who we are
and I think that’s completely bogus I
think humans are actors from the age of
two years old three years old we learned
how to manipulate our parents by crying
when we needed to cry being charming
saying certain things we learn how to
act and when we grow up I have a in that
chapter I make the point if if you met a
person that said exactly what he felt
every time you know you would hate that
person he would never get a you would
never have any friends so let’s be
honest about this we’re all acting when
we’re in the office we’re not telling
our boss exactly what we think about his
stupid ideas or what he’s wearing or his
clothes or etc we say what we think is
appropriate for that situation we are
courtiers and I want to bring some
honesty into that and say stop fighting
that need to be an actor in fact what
you want to be is you want to be a
better actor you want to be good at this
so you you are not saying be truthful
you’re saying learn to act better
because there’s some contradictions to
that within the book as well though
right well it depends on the situation
in which you’re being truthful you need
to be truthful about yourself you need
to be honest about who you are you need
to be honest that you have a dark side
that you have aggressive impulses that
you can feel envious so you need to be
truthful about yourself but being a
social animal which is what we are means
that you have to mold what you say and
how you act to the situation that you’re
in
you can’t just simply blurt out what you
what you feel that’s not that’s being an
animal that’s not being a human being a
human being controls his emotions has
the ability to control what he or she
says I see thousand times in business
situations
the number one sin that me people make
mistakes in in negotiations or in
meeting is they talk too much they say
things that they shouldn’t have said
they reveal things about themselves that
they shouldn’t you need to have more
self-control you need to be better at
wearing that mask and you need to enjoy
the sense of being a good actor and
playing the role some of the best people
who are the most successful are really
good at playing a role are really good
at this sort of an acting aspect I don’t
think you should be dishonest with your
wife and your children that’s those are
personal situations I’m talking about in
the business world
rule number two become irreplaceable I
think the greatest danger that all of
you face in your careers and
particularly in this weird world that
we’re all anterior that you’re entering
I’ve been in it for a while is that
you’re basically gonna be replaceable
that’s the fate that most people have
you learn a trade you learn it well and
you reach a point where somebody younger
and cheaper can do what you can do and
you better believe that somebody younger
and cheaper will take your place so the
game of light if it is a game the end
game is to be unreplaceable you’re one
of a kind you’re original there’s nobody
who can replace you just as there’s
nobody who can replace Leonardo da Vinci
there’s no one else like Napoleon
Bonaparte there’s no one else like Steve
Jobs
I know these are huge figures that are
that are larger than life but even in on
low on smaller levels and people I deal
with in the business world I can
generally say that if they’re masters
there’s nobody else that can take their
place and that is the ultimate position
of power in this world and that’s what
everybody in here should eventually aim
at rule number three question yourself
my books I try to be as practical as
possible I don’t want to get academic I
want you to be able to actually use this
knowledge so I’m a great believer in
baby steps in learning how to do things
on a daily basis so normally when we
feel an emotion or we have an idea we
don’t examine it we just assume that’s
that’s you know it’s just natural we
came up with that on our own
I want you every single day to be
examining yourself and to look
yourself why do I have that idea why am
I feeling this sudden emotion and it’s
not easy it takes it can take time and
it can take degree of introspection that
you’re not comfortable with but if you
begin to look at yourself in question
why do I feel this way and examine it
and look at perhaps other sources of it
then you can begin this process of
understanding instead of just simply
accepting that you feel or have this
bits a certain idea so when I write the
book on human nature I admit that I have
a negative bias towards human nature I
tend to see the dark side in people I
tend to see they’re manipulative side
what they’re trying to hide that was the
source for the 48 laws of power that was
the anger I felt then that people
weren’t being honest about how
manipulative they can be so I recognize
that I have this bias I recognize that
that’s who I am
instead of thinking that well I’m just
brilliant and my ideas are always
correct I question it and I question is
my negative bias towards human nature is
that reality or is it just me and maybe
it’s just me because of my the way my
parents are you know my parents were
kind of anxious and they’ll worried
about a lot of things and I internalize
that maybe that gave me my negative view
on people so I questioned it and I say
maybe it’s not real maybe I need to read
books that tell me the other side of the
story and there are plenty of books you
know that say that humans are great so
question yourself stop assuming that
everything you do is so brilliant and
smartest and right and imagine that
maybe your ideas don’t come from
yourself maybe you’re feeling some
political anger or whatever comes from
the fact that you’re just assuming it
from other people you’re following
things on Facebook and you’re getting
swept up in some viral emotion you want
to think that you’re completely
independent and autonomous but maybe
you’re not as independent as you think
rule number four learn self control some
of the most aggressive powerful people
in history
had incredibly high levels of ambition
and they had to learn to control that on
their rise to the top that’s how people
become successful is by their ability to
channel their energy so you have to be
aware that the game is social that the
the winners in life have a wider base of
operation they have more supporters they
have more allies than other people
you’re not going to get very far in life
if you’re alienating everyone around you
right you have to have learn
self-control I mean all my books are
about learning how to control yourself
you’re asking me how you learn to
control yourself it’s baby steps it’s
little things it’s I mean I have all
sorts of lessons in all of my books like
if you’re angry about something you
don’t act on your anger you wait 24
hours 48 hours before sending that email
before yelling at someone
these are little steps you take to learn
to control that if you’re highly
ambitious and you show too much if it’s
sometimes it’s good to show ambition but
you need to show a certain amount not
too much to frighten people well that’s
what these books are about they’re being
self aware that in a certain situation
you enter an office 30 people and you’re
suddenly show that you want to be like
the number 1 person you’re gonna have
find your path really difficult in life
but if you show that you don’t have any
ambition no one will respect you so you
have to hit that problem God and you
learn how to do that you learn by your
mistakes you learn by the people you’ve
pissed off that you’ve alienated and you
learn self-control power 5 was the on
the board of directors of a publicly
traded company run by an entrepreneur it
was very successful but who had no
self-control he couldn’t control himself
in an interview he when he was
interviewed by a reporter he would talk
about his sex life he would see had no
he had no ability to censor himself and
he got angry when he got angry he yelled
at people he baited so many enemies that
he ended up destroying himself I was
part of the group
god fired him as the CEO of the company
then the company just completely tanked
because of that I see that all the time
he’s looking on that with Elon Musk
you have a person like that who has no
self-control and it becomes a problem
rule number five find your vocation
every human being is born unique each
one of you was born with a DNA and a
configuration of your brain that has
never happened before in history and
will never happen in the future this
uniqueness that you have is manifested
in your early years when you’re a child
by the fact that you’re drawn towards
certain activities it could be physical
activity like a dance or sports it could
be something more intellectual like like
math or it could be music or if it just
B’s as simple as a young boy who’s drawn
to nature and wants to capture it
realistically with a piece of paper
whatever it is it’s a sign that you are
drawn to this thing in a way that’s pre
verbal you can’t even explain and that
is the manifestation of your uniqueness
and I compared this uniqueness that each
one of you has to a voice that’s inside
of your head it’s telling you you should
be doing this you should be doing this
it’s what fits you it’s what you’re good
at but what happens with all of us as
you get older is that voice gets weaker
and weaker you listen to your parents
who say you need to be a doctor or a
lawyer you need to worry about making
money audited ah you listen to peers who
are saying this is a cool job this is
the kind of profession you should be
going into you start thinking in terms
of what really matters is I have to be
comfortable I have to look for a
position that’s comfortable to the point
where you could graduate from college
you could be in your early 20s and you
have no idea who you are that voice is
totally drowned out and you end up going
on a career path that seems right you’re
gonna make money it’s it’s it’s all
everything’s figured out and in your 20s
you can kind of fake your way through it
because you’re young you’re energetic
you’re smart and everything but what
ends up happening as you get older is
you’re not so engaged with that subject
you’re not learning it as deeply as
other people you’re not really
focusing as much as you can and by the
forties something very dangerous can
happen you could be made redundant
someone else comes along who’s younger
and cheaper than you and now you’re
you’re pretty much screwed because you
don’t haven’t built up the skills that
you needed to build up to to adjust your
career
well masters like Leonardo are people
who hear that voice and they hear it so
strongly that they stay true to it
throughout the course of their life that
doesn’t mean that they go they take
wrong paths that sometimes the voice
goes away a little bit and they try
something that doesn’t suit them that
happens but they hear it again they find
their way back to that path and they
continue all the way to the end of their
life what this means and I call this
your vocation that voice literally means
voice or your life’s task this was what
you were meant to do in life it’s that
sea that was planted at Birth in your
uniqueness and it’s not just some poetic
concept that I’m trying to fool you with
it’s actually very real because what
happens when you know your life’s task
and you pursue it in those early years
of entering your field you are so deeply
engaged in it you’re so curious for its
own sake that you pay greater attention
you learn faster you enter what I call
the cycle of accelerated returns when
you’re excited and you learn something
now the practice becomes more
pleasurable and you practice harder and
as you practice harder it gets more
pleasurable and you practice harder and
harder and harder until it’s like
generating a motor and you have a very
intense apprenticeship and by the end of
your career or 10 or 20 or 30 years down
the line what you’re able to do is so
unique it is such a reflection of your
individuality that you have realized
that see that was planted at your birth
rule number six alter your attitude
recently you had a stroke and the way
that you’re approaching it has the sort
of Milton Erickson written all over it
with rebuilding yourself but with a
writer’s mind and so you’re paying
attention
to what it takes and what you’re going
through I hate to say it but it was kind
of a near-death experience because I was
with my wife at the time and she called
the ambulance right away I was driving
and if she hadn’t called right away I
would have permanent brain damage right
now and I probably would have gotten in
a very bad car accident I might not be
alive but literally you lose control of
your body I’m a very independent person
very willful I like to imagine myself
like I can do anything I want
and suddenly I’m put in the position of
being a baby dependent on people to
clothe me to feed me I can’t walk very
well I have no control over my left side
of my body I wasn’t an athlete but I
loved exercise endurance exercise not
all that wiped away so what am I gonna
do am I gonna start feeling sorry for
myself
and so I applied one of the things in my
book which is has to do with the last
chapter about death but it’s also
permeates through the book is just sort
of accept things as they are stop
judging you know I had to accept that
this is a fact of life and how can I
make it into something strong how can I
turn this into a positive I have a
chapter on your attitude in life how you
can change your circumstances by
changing your attitude your attitude
towards life will determine what you get
if you’re avoidant and hostile towards
people a hostile person will tend to
create hostility around him so how can I
alter my attitude and it’s a struggle
every single day I have to be incredibly
patient and I’m not a patient person it
takes me 10 minutes to put on a t-shirt
to be able to get my left arm through
that hole that sleeve damnit I’m not
somebody who’s patient and I’ve had to
develop patients that had to overcome
all of these sort of negative qualities
in myself so if I talk in the book about
overcoming your own nature there’s a dam
and that was slammed into my
face right I had to overcome my
frustration my lack of pace
my willfulness the fact that I always
have to do things myself you know and
then I had to confront the fact that I
could easily have died but I didn’t I’m
alive some I can learn from this I’m
learning a lot and I’m gonna rebuild my
body I’m gonna rebuild it I’ve come a
long way so like a month ago I was
pretty bad I’m able to walk now fairly
well in four months from now I’m gonna
be swimming again in six months I’m
gonna be jogging I’m gonna be back to
where I was nothing will stop me but I
have to overcome all of my deficiencies
and all of these weaknesses that I have
built up over the years rule number
seven hire to cover your flaws a great
leader realizes and I talk a lot about
this in the war book for great generals
know that they have flaws and
limitations and that people they hire
are designed to cover those flaws so if
I’m not great at execution I’m gonna
hire people to serve on the board who
are practical who have a track record
but who are not meddlers rule number
eight don’t regret anything if you could
go back in time to 16 year old long
haired Oh hippie version of Robert is
there anything you if you could tell
yourself anything to just have a quick
little message from the future to maybe
take away a lot of the unnecessary
worrying or time spent doing stuff that
didn’t matter is there anything you
would tell yourself you know and it
sounds weird but I feel like my life had
a it was almost like fate it’s kind of
egocentric of me but it’s almost like
everything had a reason and a purpose
yeah so the drugs was a good phase for
me to go through yeah to this day I
meditate a lot and the feelings that I
had about wow you know life is pretty
weird and interesting they’ve returned
to me yeah so it altered my how I look
at the world and it still does it was
positive my being lost for 15 years and
trying 20 different jobs and being
depressed and maybe even suicidal yeah
was positive because it made me real
what I don’t want during that time I
developed all kinds of writing skills I
got life experiences I traveled and then
when I got my opportunity I was ready I
was a ripe I was ripe for change if that
man had asked me ten years earlier if I
had any book ideas it would have never
happened
so looking back everything seems oddly
like fateful like it happened for a
reason like the gods up in Mount Olympus
yeah we’re looking down and directing me
in this path it sounds ridiculous but it
feels that way and even the stroke feels
like it’s kind of had a reason for it
yep
slow me slowing me down making me
realize that I’m not immortal etc it’s a
weird kind of shivery feeling sometimes
that overcomes me yeah but I wouldn’t
regret anything I would go back to that
long-haired 16 year old let’s say enjoy
yourself do whatever you’re doing you
you’re doing the right thing
rule number 9 understand people so
you’ve said that you often write from a
place of anger I do what was the anger
that was driving this book well I tell
you you know I just think I’m really
worried about people nowadays so in
mastery my worry was when people no
longer knew how to build things no
longer understood the process for
becoming great in excelling at some
craft or field but now my worry is that
people are so immersed in their
smartphones in their technology that
they don’t understand people they’re not
observing people and this has been
documented in studies that young people
for instance levels of self-absorption
and narcissism have been growing
steadily since the 1970s we are the
preeminent social animal on the planet
our survival depends on how we relate to
other people whether we understand them
on some level and I find a lot of people
are increasingly in the world are really
bad at observing just basic elements in
human psychology the position I’m in now
I’m a consultant to a lot of very
powerful famous people I’m not going to
mention any names
people fly me out to consult with CEOs
political people who are very powerful
in even in other countries and the
number one problem I find that they have
is an inability to understand the people
they’re dealing with they hire the wrong
partners they hire the worst assistants
when de bruin anair lives these are
people who were technically brilliant
they understand their field they
understand marketing etc but they don’t
understand basics about people around
them and they make terrible hires or
they marry absolutely the wrong person
for them in their lives their emotions
or you know their personal relationship
bring them down
so this is like our Achilles heel and I
think it’s gotten worse in the world
today so my anger was that people are so
focused on technology but that we need
to focus much more on human nature on
understanding people that’s the primary
skill that you need in life and rule
number 10 the last one before a very
special bonus clip is start your real
education so you want to go into the
hard sciences like you’re gonna become
computer engineer or something of that
nature the university system is somewhat
tailored for you you’re not going to
become a robotics engineer for instance
unless you’ve gone to the University
that’s the only path available but for
most of us that’s not how it works out
and in our education system going
through junior high high school reading
further back the kind of drums into this
us the idea that we have to study
everything you have to study algebra we
have to study English foreign languages
and chemistry even though it doesn’t
suit us even though we hate it and the
problem that happens is a lot of people
turn off from learning itself
they could be naturally gifted at
something of whatever that might be but
they’re not getting it at their school
they’re having to learn all these other
things that don’t fit don’t mesh with
their real who they are and so they come
to hate learning itself which is a
and so in their 20s or so they would be
excited by something that that would
lead to mastery but because the
education system has turned them off and
the whole process of practice it’s gone
lost they lost the energy and the drive
to do it so I think the education system
is mostly a negative in that sense
basically I tell people you get out of
college if you go to college it’s a sort
of rub everything you learn it’s fine
that you learned about history great
novels and stuff but you did not learn
how to learn and read it’s a completely
different environment there you didn’t
learn how to deal with people you didn’t
learn how to deal with political
situations you didn’t learn but a
practice is a real life skill take
everything that you learn in the
universities it is very nice and throw
it in the garbage can and start your
real education which happens now I’m
glad my special bonus cup from Robert
Greene on how to know yourself that I
think you’re really going to enjoy but
before that it’s time for the
three-point landing questions time to
move from just watching another video to
taking action in your life or business
and if you’re feeling bold leave your
answers in the comments below here we go
question number one what does your real
education look like number two what do
you need to do that you’ll regret if you
don’t and number three who do you need
to hire to cover your flaws there is
something deeply ingrained in each
individual person a particular
individual nature that we all have and
that causes us to go into compulsive
patterns of behavior I have this problem
myself
I notice each time I write a book I’m
telling myself I’m gonna make this book
short I’m not gonna ruin my health I’m
not gonna do so much research and every
goddamn time I still go through the same
process I can’t break this pattern okay
and everybody has them where does it
come from some of it comes from our DNA
from our genetics things we can’t
control that we’ve inherited from our
parents some of it comes from our early
attachment and some of it comes as we
get older
we interact with teachers and mentors
and various people who create a certain
way we view ourselves if people keep
telling us that were not really worthy
that we’re not good students we
internalize that and we end up becoming
like that so it’s a mix of things you
know each person has a mix of these
qualities and you have to kind of and
untangle the various strands and your
write up what I’m saying is you’re a
mystery to yourself
you don’t know who you are you have
patterns of behavior and you’re not even
understanding that you don’t know why
you’re angry you think you’re angry
because that person said something mean
to you or did something wrong but in
fact your anger probably stems from
things from deep deep within from your
childhood and you’re not reacting to
that person but to actually your parents
and what they didn’t give you you know
the origin of wisdom according to the
Greeks was know thyself right and I
believe that very firmly that knowledge
about who you are is an end in itself
and will help you in so many ways become
that human being that I think we all
have the potential to become if you want
more robert green check out the first
top 10 rules video I made on him the
link is right there next to me I think
you’ll enjoy it continue to believe and
I’ll see you there but even within the
careers that were pursuing we can train
ourselves to think like outsiders and help loosen up the mind in the process
you’re basically gonna be replaceable
that’s the fate that most people have so
the game of life if it is a game the end
game is to be unreplaceable
and so I’m a great believer in baby
steps in the learning how to do things
on a daily basis you’re not going to get
very far in life if you’re alienating
everyone around you the motivations
watching top 10 with believe nation grab
a snack and chew on today’s lessons from
a man who went from having as much as 80
jobs before becoming a writer including
being a translator construction worker
in the Hollywood movie writer to
becoming an author of six international
bestsellers and being referenced in
songs by jay-z Kanye West and Drake Keys
Robert Greene and here’s my take on his
top ten rules a success volume to enjoy
also if you want to know what Robert
Greene and other successful writers have
to say about what it takes to be a
successful writer check out my 250 for
writers wisdom series where every day
for the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence as a writer the link to
join is in the description below
at any time I deviated from that love
and went into something else I just was
so unhappy but even within the careers
that were pursuing we can train
ourselves to think like outsiders and
help loosen up the mind in the process
you have this like wealth of information
and knowledge and ability to acquire
skills that nobody a hundred years ago
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one learn to act better well I’m
basically challenging this idea this
notion that people have that acting in
life in being social and in wearing that
mask is a bad thing as if we need to be
more authentic and be just who we are
and I think that’s completely bogus I
think humans are actors from the age of
two years old three years old we learned
how to manipulate our parents by crying
when we needed to cry being charming
saying certain things we learn how to
act and when we grow up I have a in that
chapter I make the point if if you met a
person that said exactly what he felt
every time you know you would hate that
person he would never get a you would
never have any friends so let’s be
honest about this we’re all acting when
we’re in the office we’re not telling
our boss exactly what we think about his
stupid ideas or what he’s wearing or his
clothes or etc we say what we think is
appropriate for that situation we are
courtiers and I want to bring some
honesty into that and say stop fighting
that need to be an actor in fact what
you want to be is you want to be a
better actor you want to be good at this
so you you are not saying be truthful
you’re saying learn to act better
because there’s some contradictions to
that within the book as well though
right well it depends on the situation
in which you’re being truthful you need
to be truthful about yourself you need
to be honest about who you are you need
to be honest that you have a dark side
that you have aggressive impulses that
you can feel envious so you need to be
truthful about yourself but being a
social animal which is what we are means
that you have to mold what you say and
how you act to the situation that you’re
in
you can’t just simply blurt out what you
what you feel that’s not that’s being an
animal that’s not being a human being a
human being controls his emotions has
the ability to control what he or she
says I see thousand times in business
situations
the number one sin that me people make
mistakes in in negotiations or in
meeting is they talk too much they say
things that they shouldn’t have said
they reveal things about themselves that
they shouldn’t you need to have more
self-control you need to be better at
wearing that mask and you need to enjoy
the sense of being a good actor and
playing the role some of the best people
who are the most successful are really
good at playing a role are really good
at this sort of an acting aspect I don’t
think you should be dishonest with your
wife and your children that’s those are
personal situations I’m talking about in
the business world
rule number two become irreplaceable I
think the greatest danger that all of
you face in your careers and
particularly in this weird world that
we’re all anterior that you’re entering
I’ve been in it for a while is that
you’re basically gonna be replaceable
that’s the fate that most people have
you learn a trade you learn it well and
you reach a point where somebody younger
and cheaper can do what you can do and
you better believe that somebody younger
and cheaper will take your place so the
game of light if it is a game the end
game is to be unreplaceable you’re one
of a kind you’re original there’s nobody
who can replace you just as there’s
nobody who can replace Leonardo da Vinci
there’s no one else like Napoleon
Bonaparte there’s no one else like Steve
Jobs
I know these are huge figures that are
that are larger than life but even in on
low on smaller levels and people I deal
with in the business world I can
generally say that if they’re masters
there’s nobody else that can take their
place and that is the ultimate position
of power in this world and that’s what
everybody in here should eventually aim
at rule number three question yourself
my books I try to be as practical as
possible I don’t want to get academic I
want you to be able to actually use this
knowledge so I’m a great believer in
baby steps in learning how to do things
on a daily basis so normally when we
feel an emotion or we have an idea we
don’t examine it we just assume that’s
that’s you know it’s just natural we
came up with that on our own
I want you every single day to be
examining yourself and to look
yourself why do I have that idea why am
I feeling this sudden emotion and it’s
not easy it takes it can take time and
it can take degree of introspection that
you’re not comfortable with but if you
begin to look at yourself in question
why do I feel this way and examine it
and look at perhaps other sources of it
then you can begin this process of
understanding instead of just simply
accepting that you feel or have this
bits a certain idea so when I write the
book on human nature I admit that I have
a negative bias towards human nature I
tend to see the dark side in people I
tend to see they’re manipulative side
what they’re trying to hide that was the
source for the 48 laws of power that was
the anger I felt then that people
weren’t being honest about how
manipulative they can be so I recognize
that I have this bias I recognize that
that’s who I am
instead of thinking that well I’m just
brilliant and my ideas are always
correct I question it and I question is
my negative bias towards human nature is
that reality or is it just me and maybe
it’s just me because of my the way my
parents are you know my parents were
kind of anxious and they’ll worried
about a lot of things and I internalize
that maybe that gave me my negative view
on people so I questioned it and I say
maybe it’s not real maybe I need to read
books that tell me the other side of the
story and there are plenty of books you
know that say that humans are great so
question yourself stop assuming that
everything you do is so brilliant and
smartest and right and imagine that
maybe your ideas don’t come from
yourself maybe you’re feeling some
political anger or whatever comes from
the fact that you’re just assuming it
from other people you’re following
things on Facebook and you’re getting
swept up in some viral emotion you want
to think that you’re completely
independent and autonomous but maybe
you’re not as independent as you think
rule number four learn self control some
of the most aggressive powerful people
in history
had incredibly high levels of ambition
and they had to learn to control that on
their rise to the top that’s how people
become successful is by their ability to
channel their energy so you have to be
aware that the game is social that the
the winners in life have a wider base of
operation they have more supporters they
have more allies than other people
you’re not going to get very far in life
if you’re alienating everyone around you
right you have to have learn
self-control I mean all my books are
about learning how to control yourself
you’re asking me how you learn to
control yourself it’s baby steps it’s
little things it’s I mean I have all
sorts of lessons in all of my books like
if you’re angry about something you
don’t act on your anger you wait 24
hours 48 hours before sending that email
before yelling at someone
these are little steps you take to learn
to control that if you’re highly
ambitious and you show too much if it’s
sometimes it’s good to show ambition but
you need to show a certain amount not
too much to frighten people well that’s
what these books are about they’re being
self aware that in a certain situation
you enter an office 30 people and you’re
suddenly show that you want to be like
the number 1 person you’re gonna have
find your path really difficult in life
but if you show that you don’t have any
ambition no one will respect you so you
have to hit that problem God and you
learn how to do that you learn by your
mistakes you learn by the people you’ve
pissed off that you’ve alienated and you
learn self-control power 5 was the on
the board of directors of a publicly
traded company run by an entrepreneur it
was very successful but who had no
self-control he couldn’t control himself
in an interview he when he was
interviewed by a reporter he would talk
about his sex life he would see had no
he had no ability to censor himself and
he got angry when he got angry he yelled
at people he baited so many enemies that
he ended up destroying himself I was
part of the group
god fired him as the CEO of the company
then the company just completely tanked
because of that I see that all the time
he’s looking on that with Elon Musk
you have a person like that who has no
self-control and it becomes a problem
rule number five find your vocation
every human being is born unique each
one of you was born with a DNA and a
configuration of your brain that has
never happened before in history and
will never happen in the future this
uniqueness that you have is manifested
in your early years when you’re a child
by the fact that you’re drawn towards
certain activities it could be physical
activity like a dance or sports it could
be something more intellectual like like
math or it could be music or if it just
B’s as simple as a young boy who’s drawn
to nature and wants to capture it
realistically with a piece of paper
whatever it is it’s a sign that you are
drawn to this thing in a way that’s pre
verbal you can’t even explain and that
is the manifestation of your uniqueness
and I compared this uniqueness that each
one of you has to a voice that’s inside
of your head it’s telling you you should
be doing this you should be doing this
it’s what fits you it’s what you’re good
at but what happens with all of us as
you get older is that voice gets weaker
and weaker you listen to your parents
who say you need to be a doctor or a
lawyer you need to worry about making
money audited ah you listen to peers who
are saying this is a cool job this is
the kind of profession you should be
going into you start thinking in terms
of what really matters is I have to be
comfortable I have to look for a
position that’s comfortable to the point
where you could graduate from college
you could be in your early 20s and you
have no idea who you are that voice is
totally drowned out and you end up going
on a career path that seems right you’re
gonna make money it’s it’s it’s all
everything’s figured out and in your 20s
you can kind of fake your way through it
because you’re young you’re energetic
you’re smart and everything but what
ends up happening as you get older is
you’re not so engaged with that subject
you’re not learning it as deeply as
other people you’re not really
focusing as much as you can and by the
forties something very dangerous can
happen you could be made redundant
someone else comes along who’s younger
and cheaper than you and now you’re
you’re pretty much screwed because you
don’t haven’t built up the skills that
you needed to build up to to adjust your
career
well masters like Leonardo are people
who hear that voice and they hear it so
strongly that they stay true to it
throughout the course of their life that
doesn’t mean that they go they take
wrong paths that sometimes the voice
goes away a little bit and they try
something that doesn’t suit them that
happens but they hear it again they find
their way back to that path and they
continue all the way to the end of their
life what this means and I call this
your vocation that voice literally means
voice or your life’s task this was what
you were meant to do in life it’s that
sea that was planted at Birth in your
uniqueness and it’s not just some poetic
concept that I’m trying to fool you with
it’s actually very real because what
happens when you know your life’s task
and you pursue it in those early years
of entering your field you are so deeply
engaged in it you’re so curious for its
own sake that you pay greater attention
you learn faster you enter what I call
the cycle of accelerated returns when
you’re excited and you learn something
now the practice becomes more
pleasurable and you practice harder and
as you practice harder it gets more
pleasurable and you practice harder and
harder and harder until it’s like
generating a motor and you have a very
intense apprenticeship and by the end of
your career or 10 or 20 or 30 years down
the line what you’re able to do is so
unique it is such a reflection of your
individuality that you have realized
that see that was planted at your birth
rule number six alter your attitude
recently you had a stroke and the way
that you’re approaching it has the sort
of Milton Erickson written all over it
with rebuilding yourself but with a
writer’s mind and so you’re paying
attention
to what it takes and what you’re going
through I hate to say it but it was kind
of a near-death experience because I was
with my wife at the time and she called
the ambulance right away I was driving
and if she hadn’t called right away I
would have permanent brain damage right
now and I probably would have gotten in
a very bad car accident I might not be
alive but literally you lose control of
your body I’m a very independent person
very willful I like to imagine myself
like I can do anything I want
and suddenly I’m put in the position of
being a baby dependent on people to
clothe me to feed me I can’t walk very
well I have no control over my left side
of my body I wasn’t an athlete but I
loved exercise endurance exercise not
all that wiped away so what am I gonna
do am I gonna start feeling sorry for
myself
and so I applied one of the things in my
book which is has to do with the last
chapter about death but it’s also
permeates through the book is just sort
of accept things as they are stop
judging you know I had to accept that
this is a fact of life and how can I
make it into something strong how can I
turn this into a positive I have a
chapter on your attitude in life how you
can change your circumstances by
changing your attitude your attitude
towards life will determine what you get
if you’re avoidant and hostile towards
people a hostile person will tend to
create hostility around him so how can I
alter my attitude and it’s a struggle
every single day I have to be incredibly
patient and I’m not a patient person it
takes me 10 minutes to put on a t-shirt
to be able to get my left arm through
that hole that sleeve damnit I’m not
somebody who’s patient and I’ve had to
develop patients that had to overcome
all of these sort of negative qualities
in myself so if I talk in the book about
overcoming your own nature there’s a dam
and that was slammed into my
face right I had to overcome my
frustration my lack of pace
my willfulness the fact that I always
have to do things myself you know and
then I had to confront the fact that I
could easily have died but I didn’t I’m
alive some I can learn from this I’m
learning a lot and I’m gonna rebuild my
body I’m gonna rebuild it I’ve come a
long way so like a month ago I was
pretty bad I’m able to walk now fairly
well in four months from now I’m gonna
be swimming again in six months I’m
gonna be jogging I’m gonna be back to
where I was nothing will stop me but I
have to overcome all of my deficiencies
and all of these weaknesses that I have
built up over the years rule number
seven hire to cover your flaws a great
leader realizes and I talk a lot about
this in the war book for great generals
know that they have flaws and
limitations and that people they hire
are designed to cover those flaws so if
I’m not great at execution I’m gonna
hire people to serve on the board who
are practical who have a track record
but who are not meddlers rule number
eight don’t regret anything if you could
go back in time to 16 year old long
haired Oh hippie version of Robert is
there anything you if you could tell
yourself anything to just have a quick
little message from the future to maybe
take away a lot of the unnecessary
worrying or time spent doing stuff that
didn’t matter is there anything you
would tell yourself you know and it
sounds weird but I feel like my life had
a it was almost like fate it’s kind of
egocentric of me but it’s almost like
everything had a reason and a purpose
yeah so the drugs was a good phase for
me to go through yeah to this day I
meditate a lot and the feelings that I
had about wow you know life is pretty
weird and interesting they’ve returned
to me yeah so it altered my how I look
at the world and it still does it was
positive my being lost for 15 years and
trying 20 different jobs and being
depressed and maybe even suicidal yeah
was positive because it made me real
what I don’t want during that time I
developed all kinds of writing skills I
got life experiences I traveled and then
when I got my opportunity I was ready I
was a ripe I was ripe for change if that
man had asked me ten years earlier if I
had any book ideas it would have never
happened
so looking back everything seems oddly
like fateful like it happened for a
reason like the gods up in Mount Olympus
yeah we’re looking down and directing me
in this path it sounds ridiculous but it
feels that way and even the stroke feels
like it’s kind of had a reason for it
yep
slow me slowing me down making me
realize that I’m not immortal etc it’s a
weird kind of shivery feeling sometimes
that overcomes me yeah but I wouldn’t
regret anything I would go back to that
long-haired 16 year old let’s say enjoy
yourself do whatever you’re doing you
you’re doing the right thing
rule number 9 understand people so
you’ve said that you often write from a
place of anger I do what was the anger
that was driving this book well I tell
you you know I just think I’m really
worried about people nowadays so in
mastery my worry was when people no
longer knew how to build things no
longer understood the process for
becoming great in excelling at some
craft or field but now my worry is that
people are so immersed in their
smartphones in their technology that
they don’t understand people they’re not
observing people and this has been
documented in studies that young people
for instance levels of self-absorption
and narcissism have been growing
steadily since the 1970s we are the
preeminent social animal on the planet
our survival depends on how we relate to
other people whether we understand them
on some level and I find a lot of people
are increasingly in the world are really
bad at observing just basic elements in
human psychology the position I’m in now
I’m a consultant to a lot of very
powerful famous people I’m not going to
mention any names
people fly me out to consult with CEOs
political people who are very powerful
in even in other countries and the
number one problem I find that they have
is an inability to understand the people
they’re dealing with they hire the wrong
partners they hire the worst assistants
when de bruin anair lives these are
people who were technically brilliant
they understand their field they
understand marketing etc but they don’t
understand basics about people around
them and they make terrible hires or
they marry absolutely the wrong person
for them in their lives their emotions
or you know their personal relationship
bring them down
so this is like our Achilles heel and I
think it’s gotten worse in the world
today so my anger was that people are so
focused on technology but that we need
to focus much more on human nature on
understanding people that’s the primary
skill that you need in life and rule
number 10 the last one before a very
special bonus clip is start your real
education so you want to go into the
hard sciences like you’re gonna become
computer engineer or something of that
nature the university system is somewhat
tailored for you you’re not going to
become a robotics engineer for instance
unless you’ve gone to the University
that’s the only path available but for
most of us that’s not how it works out
and in our education system going
through junior high high school reading
further back the kind of drums into this
us the idea that we have to study
everything you have to study algebra we
have to study English foreign languages
and chemistry even though it doesn’t
suit us even though we hate it and the
problem that happens is a lot of people
turn off from learning itself
they could be naturally gifted at
something of whatever that might be but
they’re not getting it at their school
they’re having to learn all these other
things that don’t fit don’t mesh with
their real who they are and so they come
to hate learning itself which is a
and so in their 20s or so they would be
excited by something that that would
lead to mastery but because the
education system has turned them off and
the whole process of practice it’s gone
lost they lost the energy and the drive
to do it so I think the education system
is mostly a negative in that sense
basically I tell people you get out of
college if you go to college it’s a sort
of rub everything you learn it’s fine
that you learned about history great
novels and stuff but you did not learn
how to learn and read it’s a completely
different environment there you didn’t
learn how to deal with people you didn’t
learn how to deal with political
situations you didn’t learn but a
practice is a real life skill take
everything that you learn in the
universities it is very nice and throw
it in the garbage can and start your
real education which happens now I’m
glad my special bonus cup from Robert
Greene on how to know yourself that I
think you’re really going to enjoy but
before that it’s time for the
three-point landing questions time to
move from just watching another video to
taking action in your life or business
and if you’re feeling bold leave your
answers in the comments below here we go
question number one what does your real
education look like number two what do
you need to do that you’ll regret if you
don’t and number three who do you need
to hire to cover your flaws there is
something deeply ingrained in each
individual person a particular
individual nature that we all have and
that causes us to go into compulsive
patterns of behavior I have this problem
myself
I notice each time I write a book I’m
telling myself I’m gonna make this book
short I’m not gonna ruin my health I’m
not gonna do so much research and every
goddamn time I still go through the same
process I can’t break this pattern okay
and everybody has them where does it
come from some of it comes from our DNA
from our genetics things we can’t
control that we’ve inherited from our
parents some of it comes from our early
attachment and some of it comes as we
get older
we interact with teachers and mentors
and various people who create a certain
way we view ourselves if people keep
telling us that were not really worthy
that we’re not good students we
internalize that and we end up becoming
like that so it’s a mix of things you
know each person has a mix of these
qualities and you have to kind of and
untangle the various strands and your
write up what I’m saying is you’re a
mystery to yourself
you don’t know who you are you have
patterns of behavior and you’re not even
understanding that you don’t know why
you’re angry you think you’re angry
because that person said something mean
to you or did something wrong but in
fact your anger probably stems from
things from deep deep within from your
childhood and you’re not reacting to
that person but to actually your parents
and what they didn’t give you you know
the origin of wisdom according to the
Greeks was know thyself right and I
believe that very firmly that knowledge
about who you are is an end in itself
and will help you in so many ways become
that human being that I think we all
have the potential to become if you want
more robert green check out the first
top 10 rules video I made on him the
link is right there next to me I think
you’ll enjoy it continue to believe and
I’ll see you there but even within the
careers that were pursuing we can train
ourselves to think like outsiders and help loosen up the mind in the process
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