passion is not an actionable word it’s
correct you know that those who do the
things that they’re passionate about do
better but it’s not helpful advice and
so the question is where does passion
come from passion is a result passion is
an energy
passion is the feeling you have when
you’re engaged in something that you
love passion is the feeling you have
that you would probably do this for free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are and anybody who says I’m
different at home than I am at work and
one of those two places you’re lying and
the goal is to make everything you do in
home and it works something that you
have excitement to do so how do you find
the things that you’re excited to do
well it’s actually easier than you think
what are the things that you love to do
what are the things that you would do
for free you know how can you recreate
that feeling and and be paid for it so
what are the things that I do in the
weekend right I love I’m very involved
in the art world I love to go to museums
and galleries but I love to go see dance
and performances because I want to see
how others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night and so the
idea of finding your passion is
ironically simple because you should be
doing stuff that you enjoy some
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
the people you love and what are those
where they all have in common
I find that levels of success in almost
any industry or area correlate to a
person asking great questions in some
cases they seem absurd in fact the
hallmark in a way of great questions is
that sounded completely ridiculous so
someone might ask like Peter Thiel why
can’t you achieve your ten-year goals in
the next six months there’s a thought
exercise that’s a that’s that’s a good
question to answer for yourself and
these types of questions come up
surprisingly often with with very very
impressive folks whether it’s a business
military entertainment or otherwise and
the way you can get better at questions
is by studying interviews in part so I
studied Larry King I studied Charlie
Rose I studied Terry Gross I studied
that that go down the list
I studied Tony Robbins who does in
person one-on-one interventions at his
events in front of ten thousand five
thousand people and he’s just genius
with how he uses questions to like
pattern interrupt and grab someone’s
attention and divert them in a more
productive productive direction now why
is that relevant relevant because
thinking is the process of asking
questions you’re asking yourself
questions and then you’re answering them
in your own head so if you get better at
asking other people questions you get
better at asking yourself questions
which means you are a you’re improving
your thought performance and level of
thinking everyone has a problem with
time but the day is 24 hours and we
sleep six now I know there’s some out
there that say oh whoa whoa
I need eight but I say just sleep a
little faster
because the bottom line is we have six
hours of sleep 24 hours are available so
if 18 hours now available to your work
your family your hobbies and also to
learn something new or to do something
new which could easily be that you want
to learn a new language or that you want
to read as a
new year’s resolution I have to read a
book every week or you say I’m gonna go
and reshape my party so you’re gonna go
and take this hour out of your schedule
and say I’m gonna train an hour every
day so this is for most people a huge
challenge but it is totally doable I can
tell them because the kind of things
that I did when I came to this country I
mean I went to school I was working in
construction I was working out my five
hours a day I was taking acting classes
from 8 o’clock at night to 12 midnight I
was doing all of those things I wanted
to make sure that out of the 24 hours of
the day that I don’t waste one single
hour because hours were too precious and
so there just want to tell people don’t
give me this thing I have a difficult
time at the time and I don’t have time
for this neither of that you have time
you make the time hard work and
discipline and rehearsal and that’s
always the most thrilling way to earn
applause and everything that you’ve seen
me do I’ve always rehearsed a lot for it
so there’s um there’s a lot of passion
that goes behind it I mean doing the
same thing I mean just being known for
like one thing your whole life it’s a
that’s sad you know I there’s we all
have so many interests I’m sure and so
you know to get to make jobs of them all
or jobs if you could call it that but to
make businesses out of them all and see
them on a daily basis in your light and
how you visualize them is really cool
and fun and we can all do it we all can
do it so many people are so afraid to
try something because they’re like oh
like I can’t leave my job because I’m
you know I have to pay bills or you know
it’s like we’ll start small then but
don’t say you can’t because as many
times you say you can’t you’re not going
to if you don’t think you can you won’t
thoughts become things I’m in meetings a
lot my calendar gets very full with
those and then at night after the kids
have gone to bed I’m on email a great
deal I get messages during the day
that’s my chance to give long responses
and then over the weekend I send a lot
of mail as well as well I take two weeks
a year to just go off and read and think
where I’m not interrupted by work or
anything else I’m just solidly trying to
think about the few
sure and people get to send me things to
read as part of that so-called think
week so it’s nice mix of things about 25
percent of the time then I’m out
traveling around meeting with customers
Europe Asia and that sort of helps me
think okay do we have the right
priorities what what are people
responding well to and what would they
they like to see us do better I don’t
try to look too far in advance because I
get overwhelmed really easily you know
like if someone has a lot of weight to
lose if their goal is like lose a
hundred pounds I can only imagine like
even with me with some of my goals like
this recovery it feels like it’s so far
away and it takes so long for you to
like start seeing a difference that like
you’re naturally are motivated to keep
going right did it be super easy to give
up or don’t want to stop but if you and
I tell people is if you just focus on
all those little moments along the way
and ignore what your big goal is time
goes by so fast
yeah like a year goes by so unbelievably
fast that it will be here before you
know it and I completely agree that
sometimes if you focus on something that
is so far away or does feel so out of
reach you can definitely get too
discouraged like before you actually try
to get there start checking in with your
thoughts and how you’re feeling each day
so outside about gratitude practice
which I’m going to kind of talk about as
well this is probably the number one
fastest way that you can start changing
your life and I’m going to tell you
about the ripple effect that happens so
it’s checking in to see where you’re at
what emotion are you feeling in that
moment so if you wake up in the morning
and you’re anything like me I don’t
necessarily wake up in the best Boone at
all so I really need to start figuring
out how to up level my feelings right
because our feelings are the best
indicators of what we’re attracting what
we’re going to attract that day how
we’re gonna feel maybe what’s going to
come into our life who we’re going to
end up talking to because truly truly I
know that we are all
a we’re all vibrating at a different
frequency so if you are a really
positive excited happy person who knows
that great things are gonna come your
way or who’s always thinking positive
you’re gonna attract that same type of
person and I can see this through my
life as I’ve really started to uplevel
my life and my thoughts in my business
the people that are being drawn to me so
you really do it really is like attracts
like so what we want to do is we want to
get you into that mode right those
people that you’re like wow they can
just walk into a room and you just feel
their energy they’re just vibrating so
high or maybe they’re just always so
happy or they always you you just want
to be around them because you want a
piece of what they have so how do we get
there how do we become one of those
people when you wake up in the morning
maybe if you are at a low point or
you’re thinking about all the things
that you have to do that day what is a
thought or what is something that you
can do to get yourself to the next best
reachable thought so I don’t want you to
think that you have to go from zero to a
hundred in that split second it’s
basically going from zero to five to ten
to twenty to fifty and working your way
up so it’s one thought at a time so
maybe you wake up and you just say three
things that you’re grateful for every
single morning you let yourself really
experience being grateful for really
think about why you’re grateful and then
what you’re gonna do is as as you mosey
down the stairs to get your cup of
coffee you say three more things you’re
grateful for or I’m so grateful that I
have a job today because of what it
allows me to do and you really start
letting that sink in and you think of
something that maybe you’re excited
about something that you could create
something that you love about yourself
it’s this constant up leveling of your
thoughts so it’s guiding your thoughts
right so instead of just being mindless
which what happens we’re we’re imperfect
human beings right so when we’re
mindless and when we don’t guide our
thoughts they’re gonna go to chaos
they’re gonna go to craziness they’re
gonna go to overwhelm because life is
crazy and we are constantly getting
sidetracked we’re constantly getting
distracted it’s literally people’s
full-time job on TV on Instagram on
whatever we’re doing to distract us
right they want
to be their consumer they want us to be
completely distracted they want us to go
to this fast-food place do this thing do
that thing so we need to bring it back
to a mindful place so really that’s what
we’re doing when we up level those
thoughts is how do you bring it back
from crazytown
so bring it on back and then guide it to
that next best thought right because the
next best thought is gonna attract
another good thought attract another
good thought and it attract another good
thought when I get to the courts and you
know I have my bag and I’m wearing my my
hat in my in my hoodie this is my office
like that’s my workplace and I am like
I’m laser focus and I’ve had that I mean
I I think it’s that mentality that
whatever I just have that tunnel vision
and that’s how I go and when I leave the
courts got friends family jokes fun like
when I get to my office I close the door
and that’s me that’s you I think but I
do like that pressure and sometimes you
don’t always succeed and that’s okay and
as a forward you have to find that
balance I mean you’re gonna shoot five
times and maybe you’ll score once maybe
you won’t you know maybe you’ll get
three goals out of three shots so it’s a
little unpredictable and you just kind
of got to go with it and have confidence
in yourself and you worked as a lawyer
and a judge 25 years on the bench even
before you broke in a TV which you did
at the age of 52 right we’re there any
times that you said to yourself and this
is just too big of a risk I did I said
it right at the beginning because as
most of you know or even tangentially
involved with the entertainment industry
99% of the things that television
produces that all these really smart
people produce fail they spend a lot of
money they invested tens of millions of
dollars to launch a program and it goes
so why did I think at age 52 when nobody
knew the who the hell I was that I was
going to be able to launch a successful
career at my age well you got to be in
it to win it it’s like the lottery says
you know if you don’t buy a ticket you
can’t get that gold ring and I said I
have had a great career I really loved
the family for it I wasn’t bored with it
but a little getting a little tired of
all the failure despite my best effort
and I thought this might be an adventure
you know but you had a pension and you
had your health coverage and you still
had those license plates that were
helpful but I gave it a shot yeah and
you gave it your all I gave it a shot
and the truth is the people originally
that produced my program if I would have
listened to them it would have been a
failure that’s true I can say that now
because they can’t do anything to me too
many of us for a long time have confused
our network
and our self-worth your net worth is
going to fluctuate it’s going to go up
and down that’s what money does but your
self-worth should not who you are
what’s important to you how you live
your values should never be negotiable
compromised and should never settle
again we have gotten to this point where
we’ve got to say to ourselves my net
worth is not my self-worth in the CEO of
today not only has to have leadership
skills and an IQ there’s got to be a
healthy dose of EQ the emotional side
because Millennials today young people
today wanna come to work for a company
that cares about them they want to feel
connected to the company and I think
it’s critically important that we
humanize the CEO the CEO cannot be this
imperialist that’s sitting there but a
human right superior we have to remove
the barriers between the CEO and the
frontline and that requires a new skill
to so I don’t want to say it’s me but I
think a lot of women CEOs actually can
do pretty well in today’s environment
because by nature we are we humanize
ourselves a lot more because that’s the
way we’ve been brought up and we listen
a lot more I think we stop and ask for
directions
you know there’s so much we do and I
think that today’s world I mean there’s
a new breed of CEOs have come up men and
women who are doing a very very nice job
but all of them I think are a new breed
that’s learning that the world is
completely different and recognizing
that EQ is as important as IQ that’s
what I’m trying to focus on as much as I
can I believe that I can only should
expect to make money and things that I
understand and when I say understand I
don’t mean understand you know what the
product does or anything like that I
mean understand what the economics of
the business are likely to look at look
like ten years from now or 20 years ago
I know
general what the economics of say
Wrigley chewing gum will look like ten
years from now
the internet isn’t going to change the
way people chew gum it isn’t going to
change what you come they chew now if
you own the chewing gum market in a big
way and you’ve got double mint in the
spearmint and juicy fruit those brands
will be there ten years from now so I
can’t pinpoint exactly what the numbers
are gonna look like on Wrigley but I’m
not gonna be way off if I try to look
forward on something like that that
evaluating that company is within what I
call my circle of competence I
understand what they do I understand the
economics of that I understand the
competitive aspects of the business so
figuring out the economic consequences
TV
I think there’s I don’t know 20 25
million sets a year sold in the United
States I don’t think there’s one of them
made in the United States anymore
I mean you’d say TV set manufacturer
what a wonderful business sight
everybody now nobody had a TV in 1950 or
thereabouts 45 to 50 everybody has
multiple sets now nobody is in the
United States and made any real money
making the sense that they’re all out of
business
you know the Magnavox is the RCA is all
of those companies radio was the
equipment of the 20 over 500 companies
making radios in the 1920s again I don’t
think there’s a u.s. radio manufacturer
at the present time but coca-cola you
know I was at 1884 and Jacobs pharmacy
or whatever and fellow comes up with
something a lot of copiers over the
years but now you’ve got a company that
is selling roughly 1.1 billion eight
ounce servings of its product not all
cokes right and some others daily
throughout the world 117 years later so
understanding the economic
characteristics of a business is
different than predicting the fact that
an industry is going to do wonderfully
so I look at the internet businesses or
I look at tech misses I say this is a
marvelous thing and I love to play
around on the computer and it I ordered
my books from Amazon and all kinds of
things but I don’t know who’s gonna win
unless I know who’s gonna win I’m not
interested in the best thing I’ll just
play around other computer and defining
your circle of competence is the most
important aspect of investing it’s not
how important how large your circle is
you don’t have to be an expert on
everything but knowing where the
perimeter of that circle of what you
know and what you don’t know is and
staying inside of it is all important
Tom Watson seniors started IBM said in
his book he said I’m no genius said but
I’m smart in spots I stay around those
spots and you know that is the key so if
I understand a few things and I stick in
that arena I’ll do okay and if I don’t
understand something but I get all
excited about it because my neighbors
are talking about stocks are going up
and everything they start fooling around
someplace else eventually I’ll get
creamed and I should tend to be
incredibly modest in terms of describing
your talents and you you always seem to
belittle your your abilities to a
certain extent when clearly there
there’s a reason why this everything you
do has been working out I was reading
about how you said that to a certain
extent that comes from your your punk
rock roots yep there’s no other choice
in those days there’s no idea of this
makes money there’s no idea like this is
my future it was like a week at a time
they have five shows we’re gonna get to
Sunday and even those days were like
fraught with turbulence and so I never
really saw a future none of us did and
some of us you know didn’t make it some
of them are dead and some of them are
just kind of trying to recreate their
past and so I realized that I have to be
very hard-working because I don’t have
kind of the ease of talent and I come
from that and I think it you know a lot
of ways that served me very well in that
I am is kind of hardworking as I’ve ever
been completely unconscious and I have
none I don’t I don’t want any because I
think you turn your back on the thing
and that’s when you get gored is when
you think I got this I never think I got
this I think oh man
don’t screw this up and I go at
everything like including you and I
sitting here right now I’m trying to be
fully engaged and that intensity I think
has served me quite well but it comes
from punk rock absolutely last boss I
ever had was my boss at haagen-dazs III
my ice cream shop and to this day he
still comes to my shows and whenever I
see Steve who got me my first apartment
who believed I was living in my car he
believed in me whenever I see him I get
all weepy
I always thought it’s good to see you
sir Henry you can call me Steve I can’t
do that sir because because he trusted
me with his money and and I said let me
run your store I know how to do this I
can do this he’s like well if you screw
up you’re out of guy said I won’t screw
up and I end up being I ran a store and
so um it would but it was anger that
said I’ll be here all damn we don’t get
this whole thing right I fired his staff
and rehired a bunch of people can really
work and it’s it went out of anger like
I’ll be back in four hours to run this
$3 and 75 cent an hour job into the
ground and then I joined Black Flag and
I thought I was a hardworking person
then you meet the guys in Black Flag who
are so driven you’d see Greg Ginn work
23 hour days like Greg you’re still on
the phone I know Greg won when did you
eat I don’t know
Greg when the last time you showered do
we have a shower but the guy we were not
going to be stopped and I kind of go at
that intensity
what kind of anything I do like you’re
very calm good-looking young man look at
me I’m a spaz sitting next to you I’m
doing an interview with you focus I’m
sweating ma’am it’s so
but I’d like this going to the airport
like ten miles out and so it’s but it’s
anger that has informed kind of my life
and unflatteringly a sense of vengeance
every damn person who said I wouldn’t be
anything I’m crushing them every day
everybody I had to endure in any band I
was in everyday into a powder yeah thank
you and I wish them no ill I just wish
to shine brighter and if it burns my
body to a crisp I’m happy to go right
now my story is that I am a researcher
and I never thought I would have a big
public career and so I did a TED talk
that went very viral and in the wake of
that I was kind of everywhere for a
couple of months on every cnn.com NPR it
was everywhere and something I wasn’t
used to and the marching orders from my
therapist and my husband were do not
read the comments online so I read all
it’s a one morning I woke up and there
were two or three new articles out and I
started reading the comments and they
were devastating they weren’t about my
work they were about me
they were super personal and they were
the things that created people play in
their mind and then give up doing what
they really want to do like if I asked
every single one of you you would try
what would you try if you knew people
would never say this about you what
would that what would this be
it would those were the comments that
morning
of course she embraces imperfection what
choice does she have which look at how
she looks I feel sorry for her kids less
research more Botox just mean personal
attacks the things that really up until
that moment had inspired me to stay very
small in my life in my career just so I
could avoid those things so that morning
Steve and the kids leave I stay home I
get on the couch and I watch eight hours
of Downton Abbey and when it’s over I
don’t want to turn off Downton Abbey
because I didn’t the minute you turn off
Downton Abbey then it’s like soccer
practice and dinner and back to the mean
people and maybe I get Botox and
maybe you know maybe if I stand still
when I talk
so I get my laptop and I do a search for
who was president in the United States
during the Downton Abbey era have you
ever done that like you you’re numbing
with TV or movie and so when it’s over
you just like stay in that space by like
learning more about the actors and
what’s going on I’ve been doing this
long enough to know this is like you’re
laughing with me not so I put it in and
Theodore Roosevelt comes up and a quote
comes up and I read it and this is what
it says it’s a quote from a speech that
he gave in the early nineteen hundred’s
at the Sorbonne and a lot of people
called them in the arena speech and this
is the passage that changed changes my
life it’s not the critic who counts it’s
not the man who points out how the
strong man stumbles or where the doer of
Deeds could have done it better the
credit belongs to the person who’s
actually in the arena whose face is
marred with blood and sweat and dust who
at the best in the end knows the triumph
of high achievement and who at worst if
so the moment that I read that I closed
my laptop and this is what shifted in me
three huge things first I spent the last
12 years studying vulnerability and that
quote was everything I know about
vulnerability it is not about winning
it’s not about losing it’s about showing
up and being seen the second thing this
is who I want to be I want to create I
want to make things that didn’t exist
before I touch them I want to show up
and be seen in my work and in my life
and if you’re going to show up and be
seen
there is only one guarantee and that is
you will get your ass kicked
that is the guarantee that’s the only
certainty you have if you’re gonna go in
the arena and spend any time in there
whatsoever especially if you’ve
committed to creating in your life you
will get your ass kicked so you have to
decide at that moment I think for all of
us if courage is a value that we hold
this is a consequence you can’t avoid it
the third thing which really set me free
and I think Steve my husband would argue
has made me somewhat dangerous it’s kind
of a new philosophy about criticism
which is this if you’re not in the arena
also getting your ass kicked I’m not
interested in your feedback you stare at
your past and you’ll end up staying
there it’s okay to look back and admire
it but you carry on I’m not I’m not in
the business of staring staring back at
it you know I mean I’m getting lost back
there it’s people say you can people say
a loss can make a break a fighter but
trust me a win can also make a break a
fire because they get comfortable with
it with a win people can get comfortable
with it with a win and and and slack off
their slack off on the train and slack
off on the diet they’ve won one they’re
winners now that’s not me you know you
sleep on a you sleep on a win and you’ll
wake up with a loss so I just carry on
keep doing what I’m doing
and that’s why these turnaround are so
good for me Vegas straight away the
Fighting Irish head to the fighting
capital it’s it’s perfect continue on
this path the freight train straight to
the top
and we’re only gonna go as far as you
think you’re worthy I can push you can
push you you can have the greatest
product but if you don’t feel worthy you
will work hard to sabotage that
relationship you don’t know you don’t
know you’re doing you think these are
the things I need and you’re driving
that guy away you’re driving that woman
away because your self-worth says they
weren’t gonna stay forever anyway or I’m
self-worth around money you have a cat
that you feel like you’re worthy of a
million dollars you will always get to
nine hundred and ninety nine thousand
and you will stop because your
self-worth says it what’s a good
exercise or process that we can follow
on a daily basis maybe something simple
to enhance our enrichment absolutely
worthiness absolutely I did this for six
months every single day right after I
brush my teeth and it’s the ICU exercise
and you get in the mirror now it’s not
necessarily simple because yourself of
course and as complicated as you are
will be the degrees of the mechanics are
very simple yes I appreciate that
distinction I’m you getting the mirror
you complete three different sentences
you want to write this down the first
sentence you look at yourself and you
say your name so you would say Louis and
you complete this as I’m proud that you
and find seven different things every
day to celebrate yourself for seven
different each day you can do the same
thing you did the day before
but each day do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years to that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles because if you can still think
about it is still in your energy space
and then the third sentence
as Louis I commit to you that before you
make a commitment to anybody else
throughout your day you make seven
commitments to you so the first sentence
I’m proud that you you’re celebrating
yourself first we are under celebrated
as it as a society we look for
acknowledgement they enter they
interviewed a hundred executives that
all made over a quarter of a million
dollars and say would you like a five
percent raise next year or would you
rather be told thank you more often 100
percent 100 percent said keep your money
I’d rather hear thank you so we’re under
celebrated but first celebrate you be
the example when I was on Oprah when she
said what do you do I said I recognize
that I’m the example of how the rest of
the world is supposed to treat me and
it’s my job to give the world the best
example of how I like to be treated so
celebrate yourself forgive yourself cut
the shackles and then commit to yourself
before you commit to anyone else that
right there powerful that right there
will begin to fill your cup up mmm to
get to your sausage I love that I say to
the my girls all of the time that your
real work is to figure out where your
power base is and to work on the
alignment of your personality your gifts
that you have to give with the real
reason why you’re here
that’s that’s the number one thing you
have to do is to work on yourself and to
fill your self up and keep your cup full
keep yourself full now I used to be
afraid of that I used to be afraid
particularly from people who say oh
she’s that she still has them she’s
herself and now I embrace it I
considered a compliment that I am full
of myself because you only when you’re
full I’m full I’m overflowing my cup
runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it every
single day that we wake up we have been
gifted the opportunity of
choice you can choose to be happy or you
can choose to be sad I don’t care what
your situation is you should never allow
your situation to define who you are as
a person I know I lived out of my car
for two and a half years and you know
the story that I told them up myself in
my head every day all day long why does
this person get this why does it why is
this always keep happening to me why do
I keep getting this girlfriend this kind
of girlfriend why does this happen to me
how come this person got this record
deal that didn’t how come this person
why oh poor pity me shut up Garin Jones
the outside is the physical
manifestation of what goes on inside the
brain things do not just happen no one
just rear-ends your car you don’t just
become broke broke is a mindset things
don’t just happen your pocketbook is not
just below balance or on zero you’re not
just over just by chance you’re just
overweight things don’t just happen I
wasn’t just living out of my car for two
and a half years the outside is the
physical manifestation of what goes on
inside the brain just like you can think
yourself sad or mad or broke and all of
these things you can also think yourself
happy
I’m telling you coming from a guy that
lived out of this car for two and a half
years I have stuff that I haven’t even
posted online day one day two day three
day four day month like month year it
came it was so bad that I was numb with
emotion numb with emotions crying myself
to sleep cry myself to sleep in my Jeep
how
a guy with so much passion live in his
car for two and a half years it was all
because of me I deserved to live in my
car I deserved to be broke
I deserved not to have the opportunities
that I should have been getting and they
weren’t for me but I’ll tell you what
was for me I woke up every day with an
opportunity to choose different if you
want something different you have to do
something different into that simple
you want something different in life you
have to do something different whatever
it is that you want to do there’s gonna
be risk in your life and risk is a
necessary component of progress you can
make any pioneering movements in the
world of any kind whether they be the
geographical physical exploration that
I’ve just been talking about whether it
be you know a more cerebral exploration
of a scientific field or I bet you could
ask that question of every speaker here
and I bet that every speaker here has
taken substantial risks whether it be
intellectual or otherwise to achieve
what they’re you know what they’ve done
I believe people are bullied because of
the image that they they projected when
I was young I had a lot of a big lack of
confidence and in my school where I used
to go they had the lincoln teenager they
used to pick on the younger kids they
were sent there because i used to that
problem with their family raised by a
single father or mother like our
colleague somewhere our orphan and you
know they grew up in a bad environment
with a lot of violence so the only way
of communication they had it was true
violence and they used to apply that to
the younger kid in school and i was
victim of that unfortunately so so that
thing is that when I go to do conference
the people why why you get bully
sometimes is because the image you
project if you look down raise your
shoulder and look like a weakling in
like in nature the lion will always go
for the animal who’s weak
was injure the same thing in society the
people will bully that easy target and
when I was young had a big problem with
confidence you know I used to people
look down you know I didn’t have older
brother or older cousin to defend myself
I was by myself you know and I got
picked on because I was an easy target
like this
so what martial art taught me is to
stand up straight when I look I talk to
people I look in the eye when I shake
hand I’m firm and the way I start to
carry myself the body language transform
me it’s that I I stop being bullying not
because I start beating up people rights
just because I the way I was starting to
act the way I was starting to the the
projection that I give to people change
and that’s what makes it stop it’s not
about being tough now it’s about
presenting and and look tough and look
confident look confident
same thing in business same thing when
you go ask a girl on a date absolutely
good I am sorry I don’t want to bother
you but please could you think you could
come with me it’s Saturday night –
Darrell you know like it wouldn’t work
you know like they ask you for a look
like a loser you don’t you have to be
and so rock bottom became the solid
foundation on which I rebuild my life it
is impossible to live without failing at
something unless you live so cautiously
you might as well not have lived at all
it took a couple months to like real I
mean I was 17 at the time I just
finished high school two months earlier
and I’m now living in Melbourne I mean I
was playing catch up really quickly
anyway I was living on my own in a new
city where I had never met anyone two
hour flight away from anyone I knew and
I had no money and I was like just
trying to find couches to sleep on at
that point plus before you’re 18 you
can’t like sign up and get electricity
bills and stuff like that so no one
would rent a place to me I didn’t have
any money the whole thing was like I was
just trying to like keep my head above
water at that point and then once it
settled in and I kind of got settled
there and you know it’s working
constantly then that’s when I felt like
oh yeah I’ve seen I’ve seen people make
the jump from here to America so my
choices are either stay or you know be
good enough to stay on this show for
decades the way some cast members have
which you know you have a lovely life in
Melbourne or you screw it up and get
fired which I didn’t obviously didn’t
want to take that option or try and make
the transition to the American industry
you know try and move to LA and do pilot
season as I had seen a few cast members
do at that point so that is my goal any
fear when you made the made the flight
yes but it wasn’t as scary yes
definitely but it wasn’t as scary as
that first moved to Melbourne that first
moved to Melbourne was terrifying
because I was just you know I like I
said I didn’t have money at the time I
didn’t like heaven I didn’t know when
you at least when I moved to LA like
when I did that flight to LA I knew two
people there already who had already
been our neighbors and I had my money
saved so if anything went really wrong I
knew I could afford to get in a cab
drive to the airport and buy a ticket
and so like I that’s all I needed to
know I was like cool I’m sweet whatever
happens like if anything goes really
wrong I can always afford to fire and
they’ll be fine
and it ever once you got here did every
single I Kenny was going really longer
yeah there’s obviously like the ups and
downs and like the crazy as anyone who’s
moved to a new city before I’m sure
they’ve had crazy experiences so I had
all that for sure but but no it was fine
I was I it would have had to take a lot
to make me fly um I was like I will not
be a failure I came here I’m not going
home until I’ve made it in this business
so a lot of people come to me they say
well I want to be an entrepreneur and I
go that’s great what’s your idea and
they go well I don’t have one yet and I
say well I think you should go get a job
as a busboy or something until you find
something you’re really passionate about
because it’s a lot of work and I’m
convinced that about half of what
separates the successful entrepreneurs
from the non successful ones is pure
perseverance it is so hard you pour so
much your life into this thing there are
such rough moments in time that most
people give up I don’t blame them it’s
really tough and it consumes your life I
mean if you’re if you’ve got a family
and you’re in the early days of a
company its I can’t imagine how one
could do it I’m sure it’s it’s been done
but it’s rough I mean because it’s a
pretty much a you know an 18 hour a day
job seven days a week for a while so
unless you have a lot of passion about
this you’re gonna not survive you’re
gonna give it up so you’ve got to have
an idea or a problem or a wrong that you
want to write that you’re passionate
about otherwise you’re not going to have
the perseverance to stick it through and
I think that’s half the battle right
there it’s hard to remember how bad it
was you know in 1980s with IBM taking
over the world with the PC with Doss out
there it was it was far worse than the
Apple 2 and they tried to copy the Apple
2 and they done a pretty bad job and if
you needed to know a lot and so things
were kind of slipping backwards and
Macintosh was you saw the 1984
commercial you put that I hope you have
that in your archives
you know McIntosh was basically this
this relatively small company you know
in Cupertino California taking on the
Goliath IBM and saying wait a minute
your way is wrong this is not the way we
want computers to go this is not the
legacy we want to leave this is not what
we want our kids to be learning this is
wrong and we are going to show you the
right way to do it and here it is it’s
called Macintosh and this is so much
better but it’s going to beat you and we
are going to do it and that’s what Apple stood for
correct you know that those who do the
things that they’re passionate about do
better but it’s not helpful advice and
so the question is where does passion
come from passion is a result passion is
an energy
passion is the feeling you have when
you’re engaged in something that you
love passion is the feeling you have
that you would probably do this for free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are and anybody who says I’m
different at home than I am at work and
one of those two places you’re lying and
the goal is to make everything you do in
home and it works something that you
have excitement to do so how do you find
the things that you’re excited to do
well it’s actually easier than you think
what are the things that you love to do
what are the things that you would do
for free you know how can you recreate
that feeling and and be paid for it so
what are the things that I do in the
weekend right I love I’m very involved
in the art world I love to go to museums
and galleries but I love to go see dance
and performances because I want to see
how others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night and so the
idea of finding your passion is
ironically simple because you should be
doing stuff that you enjoy some
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
the people you love and what are those
where they all have in common
I find that levels of success in almost
any industry or area correlate to a
person asking great questions in some
cases they seem absurd in fact the
hallmark in a way of great questions is
that sounded completely ridiculous so
someone might ask like Peter Thiel why
can’t you achieve your ten-year goals in
the next six months there’s a thought
exercise that’s a that’s that’s a good
question to answer for yourself and
these types of questions come up
surprisingly often with with very very
impressive folks whether it’s a business
military entertainment or otherwise and
the way you can get better at questions
is by studying interviews in part so I
studied Larry King I studied Charlie
Rose I studied Terry Gross I studied
that that go down the list
I studied Tony Robbins who does in
person one-on-one interventions at his
events in front of ten thousand five
thousand people and he’s just genius
with how he uses questions to like
pattern interrupt and grab someone’s
attention and divert them in a more
productive productive direction now why
is that relevant relevant because
thinking is the process of asking
questions you’re asking yourself
questions and then you’re answering them
in your own head so if you get better at
asking other people questions you get
better at asking yourself questions
which means you are a you’re improving
your thought performance and level of
thinking everyone has a problem with
time but the day is 24 hours and we
sleep six now I know there’s some out
there that say oh whoa whoa
I need eight but I say just sleep a
little faster
because the bottom line is we have six
hours of sleep 24 hours are available so
if 18 hours now available to your work
your family your hobbies and also to
learn something new or to do something
new which could easily be that you want
to learn a new language or that you want
to read as a
new year’s resolution I have to read a
book every week or you say I’m gonna go
and reshape my party so you’re gonna go
and take this hour out of your schedule
and say I’m gonna train an hour every
day so this is for most people a huge
challenge but it is totally doable I can
tell them because the kind of things
that I did when I came to this country I
mean I went to school I was working in
construction I was working out my five
hours a day I was taking acting classes
from 8 o’clock at night to 12 midnight I
was doing all of those things I wanted
to make sure that out of the 24 hours of
the day that I don’t waste one single
hour because hours were too precious and
so there just want to tell people don’t
give me this thing I have a difficult
time at the time and I don’t have time
for this neither of that you have time
you make the time hard work and
discipline and rehearsal and that’s
always the most thrilling way to earn
applause and everything that you’ve seen
me do I’ve always rehearsed a lot for it
so there’s um there’s a lot of passion
that goes behind it I mean doing the
same thing I mean just being known for
like one thing your whole life it’s a
that’s sad you know I there’s we all
have so many interests I’m sure and so
you know to get to make jobs of them all
or jobs if you could call it that but to
make businesses out of them all and see
them on a daily basis in your light and
how you visualize them is really cool
and fun and we can all do it we all can
do it so many people are so afraid to
try something because they’re like oh
like I can’t leave my job because I’m
you know I have to pay bills or you know
it’s like we’ll start small then but
don’t say you can’t because as many
times you say you can’t you’re not going
to if you don’t think you can you won’t
thoughts become things I’m in meetings a
lot my calendar gets very full with
those and then at night after the kids
have gone to bed I’m on email a great
deal I get messages during the day
that’s my chance to give long responses
and then over the weekend I send a lot
of mail as well as well I take two weeks
a year to just go off and read and think
where I’m not interrupted by work or
anything else I’m just solidly trying to
think about the few
sure and people get to send me things to
read as part of that so-called think
week so it’s nice mix of things about 25
percent of the time then I’m out
traveling around meeting with customers
Europe Asia and that sort of helps me
think okay do we have the right
priorities what what are people
responding well to and what would they
they like to see us do better I don’t
try to look too far in advance because I
get overwhelmed really easily you know
like if someone has a lot of weight to
lose if their goal is like lose a
hundred pounds I can only imagine like
even with me with some of my goals like
this recovery it feels like it’s so far
away and it takes so long for you to
like start seeing a difference that like
you’re naturally are motivated to keep
going right did it be super easy to give
up or don’t want to stop but if you and
I tell people is if you just focus on
all those little moments along the way
and ignore what your big goal is time
goes by so fast
yeah like a year goes by so unbelievably
fast that it will be here before you
know it and I completely agree that
sometimes if you focus on something that
is so far away or does feel so out of
reach you can definitely get too
discouraged like before you actually try
to get there start checking in with your
thoughts and how you’re feeling each day
so outside about gratitude practice
which I’m going to kind of talk about as
well this is probably the number one
fastest way that you can start changing
your life and I’m going to tell you
about the ripple effect that happens so
it’s checking in to see where you’re at
what emotion are you feeling in that
moment so if you wake up in the morning
and you’re anything like me I don’t
necessarily wake up in the best Boone at
all so I really need to start figuring
out how to up level my feelings right
because our feelings are the best
indicators of what we’re attracting what
we’re going to attract that day how
we’re gonna feel maybe what’s going to
come into our life who we’re going to
end up talking to because truly truly I
know that we are all
a we’re all vibrating at a different
frequency so if you are a really
positive excited happy person who knows
that great things are gonna come your
way or who’s always thinking positive
you’re gonna attract that same type of
person and I can see this through my
life as I’ve really started to uplevel
my life and my thoughts in my business
the people that are being drawn to me so
you really do it really is like attracts
like so what we want to do is we want to
get you into that mode right those
people that you’re like wow they can
just walk into a room and you just feel
their energy they’re just vibrating so
high or maybe they’re just always so
happy or they always you you just want
to be around them because you want a
piece of what they have so how do we get
there how do we become one of those
people when you wake up in the morning
maybe if you are at a low point or
you’re thinking about all the things
that you have to do that day what is a
thought or what is something that you
can do to get yourself to the next best
reachable thought so I don’t want you to
think that you have to go from zero to a
hundred in that split second it’s
basically going from zero to five to ten
to twenty to fifty and working your way
up so it’s one thought at a time so
maybe you wake up and you just say three
things that you’re grateful for every
single morning you let yourself really
experience being grateful for really
think about why you’re grateful and then
what you’re gonna do is as as you mosey
down the stairs to get your cup of
coffee you say three more things you’re
grateful for or I’m so grateful that I
have a job today because of what it
allows me to do and you really start
letting that sink in and you think of
something that maybe you’re excited
about something that you could create
something that you love about yourself
it’s this constant up leveling of your
thoughts so it’s guiding your thoughts
right so instead of just being mindless
which what happens we’re we’re imperfect
human beings right so when we’re
mindless and when we don’t guide our
thoughts they’re gonna go to chaos
they’re gonna go to craziness they’re
gonna go to overwhelm because life is
crazy and we are constantly getting
sidetracked we’re constantly getting
distracted it’s literally people’s
full-time job on TV on Instagram on
whatever we’re doing to distract us
right they want
to be their consumer they want us to be
completely distracted they want us to go
to this fast-food place do this thing do
that thing so we need to bring it back
to a mindful place so really that’s what
we’re doing when we up level those
thoughts is how do you bring it back
from crazytown
so bring it on back and then guide it to
that next best thought right because the
next best thought is gonna attract
another good thought attract another
good thought and it attract another good
thought when I get to the courts and you
know I have my bag and I’m wearing my my
hat in my in my hoodie this is my office
like that’s my workplace and I am like
I’m laser focus and I’ve had that I mean
I I think it’s that mentality that
whatever I just have that tunnel vision
and that’s how I go and when I leave the
courts got friends family jokes fun like
when I get to my office I close the door
and that’s me that’s you I think but I
do like that pressure and sometimes you
don’t always succeed and that’s okay and
as a forward you have to find that
balance I mean you’re gonna shoot five
times and maybe you’ll score once maybe
you won’t you know maybe you’ll get
three goals out of three shots so it’s a
little unpredictable and you just kind
of got to go with it and have confidence
in yourself and you worked as a lawyer
and a judge 25 years on the bench even
before you broke in a TV which you did
at the age of 52 right we’re there any
times that you said to yourself and this
is just too big of a risk I did I said
it right at the beginning because as
most of you know or even tangentially
involved with the entertainment industry
99% of the things that television
produces that all these really smart
people produce fail they spend a lot of
money they invested tens of millions of
dollars to launch a program and it goes
so why did I think at age 52 when nobody
knew the who the hell I was that I was
going to be able to launch a successful
career at my age well you got to be in
it to win it it’s like the lottery says
you know if you don’t buy a ticket you
can’t get that gold ring and I said I
have had a great career I really loved
the family for it I wasn’t bored with it
but a little getting a little tired of
all the failure despite my best effort
and I thought this might be an adventure
you know but you had a pension and you
had your health coverage and you still
had those license plates that were
helpful but I gave it a shot yeah and
you gave it your all I gave it a shot
and the truth is the people originally
that produced my program if I would have
listened to them it would have been a
failure that’s true I can say that now
because they can’t do anything to me too
many of us for a long time have confused
our network
and our self-worth your net worth is
going to fluctuate it’s going to go up
and down that’s what money does but your
self-worth should not who you are
what’s important to you how you live
your values should never be negotiable
compromised and should never settle
again we have gotten to this point where
we’ve got to say to ourselves my net
worth is not my self-worth in the CEO of
today not only has to have leadership
skills and an IQ there’s got to be a
healthy dose of EQ the emotional side
because Millennials today young people
today wanna come to work for a company
that cares about them they want to feel
connected to the company and I think
it’s critically important that we
humanize the CEO the CEO cannot be this
imperialist that’s sitting there but a
human right superior we have to remove
the barriers between the CEO and the
frontline and that requires a new skill
to so I don’t want to say it’s me but I
think a lot of women CEOs actually can
do pretty well in today’s environment
because by nature we are we humanize
ourselves a lot more because that’s the
way we’ve been brought up and we listen
a lot more I think we stop and ask for
directions
you know there’s so much we do and I
think that today’s world I mean there’s
a new breed of CEOs have come up men and
women who are doing a very very nice job
but all of them I think are a new breed
that’s learning that the world is
completely different and recognizing
that EQ is as important as IQ that’s
what I’m trying to focus on as much as I
can I believe that I can only should
expect to make money and things that I
understand and when I say understand I
don’t mean understand you know what the
product does or anything like that I
mean understand what the economics of
the business are likely to look at look
like ten years from now or 20 years ago
I know
general what the economics of say
Wrigley chewing gum will look like ten
years from now
the internet isn’t going to change the
way people chew gum it isn’t going to
change what you come they chew now if
you own the chewing gum market in a big
way and you’ve got double mint in the
spearmint and juicy fruit those brands
will be there ten years from now so I
can’t pinpoint exactly what the numbers
are gonna look like on Wrigley but I’m
not gonna be way off if I try to look
forward on something like that that
evaluating that company is within what I
call my circle of competence I
understand what they do I understand the
economics of that I understand the
competitive aspects of the business so
figuring out the economic consequences
TV
I think there’s I don’t know 20 25
million sets a year sold in the United
States I don’t think there’s one of them
made in the United States anymore
I mean you’d say TV set manufacturer
what a wonderful business sight
everybody now nobody had a TV in 1950 or
thereabouts 45 to 50 everybody has
multiple sets now nobody is in the
United States and made any real money
making the sense that they’re all out of
business
you know the Magnavox is the RCA is all
of those companies radio was the
equipment of the 20 over 500 companies
making radios in the 1920s again I don’t
think there’s a u.s. radio manufacturer
at the present time but coca-cola you
know I was at 1884 and Jacobs pharmacy
or whatever and fellow comes up with
something a lot of copiers over the
years but now you’ve got a company that
is selling roughly 1.1 billion eight
ounce servings of its product not all
cokes right and some others daily
throughout the world 117 years later so
understanding the economic
characteristics of a business is
different than predicting the fact that
an industry is going to do wonderfully
so I look at the internet businesses or
I look at tech misses I say this is a
marvelous thing and I love to play
around on the computer and it I ordered
my books from Amazon and all kinds of
things but I don’t know who’s gonna win
unless I know who’s gonna win I’m not
interested in the best thing I’ll just
play around other computer and defining
your circle of competence is the most
important aspect of investing it’s not
how important how large your circle is
you don’t have to be an expert on
everything but knowing where the
perimeter of that circle of what you
know and what you don’t know is and
staying inside of it is all important
Tom Watson seniors started IBM said in
his book he said I’m no genius said but
I’m smart in spots I stay around those
spots and you know that is the key so if
I understand a few things and I stick in
that arena I’ll do okay and if I don’t
understand something but I get all
excited about it because my neighbors
are talking about stocks are going up
and everything they start fooling around
someplace else eventually I’ll get
creamed and I should tend to be
incredibly modest in terms of describing
your talents and you you always seem to
belittle your your abilities to a
certain extent when clearly there
there’s a reason why this everything you
do has been working out I was reading
about how you said that to a certain
extent that comes from your your punk
rock roots yep there’s no other choice
in those days there’s no idea of this
makes money there’s no idea like this is
my future it was like a week at a time
they have five shows we’re gonna get to
Sunday and even those days were like
fraught with turbulence and so I never
really saw a future none of us did and
some of us you know didn’t make it some
of them are dead and some of them are
just kind of trying to recreate their
past and so I realized that I have to be
very hard-working because I don’t have
kind of the ease of talent and I come
from that and I think it you know a lot
of ways that served me very well in that
I am is kind of hardworking as I’ve ever
been completely unconscious and I have
none I don’t I don’t want any because I
think you turn your back on the thing
and that’s when you get gored is when
you think I got this I never think I got
this I think oh man
don’t screw this up and I go at
everything like including you and I
sitting here right now I’m trying to be
fully engaged and that intensity I think
has served me quite well but it comes
from punk rock absolutely last boss I
ever had was my boss at haagen-dazs III
my ice cream shop and to this day he
still comes to my shows and whenever I
see Steve who got me my first apartment
who believed I was living in my car he
believed in me whenever I see him I get
all weepy
I always thought it’s good to see you
sir Henry you can call me Steve I can’t
do that sir because because he trusted
me with his money and and I said let me
run your store I know how to do this I
can do this he’s like well if you screw
up you’re out of guy said I won’t screw
up and I end up being I ran a store and
so um it would but it was anger that
said I’ll be here all damn we don’t get
this whole thing right I fired his staff
and rehired a bunch of people can really
work and it’s it went out of anger like
I’ll be back in four hours to run this
$3 and 75 cent an hour job into the
ground and then I joined Black Flag and
I thought I was a hardworking person
then you meet the guys in Black Flag who
are so driven you’d see Greg Ginn work
23 hour days like Greg you’re still on
the phone I know Greg won when did you
eat I don’t know
Greg when the last time you showered do
we have a shower but the guy we were not
going to be stopped and I kind of go at
that intensity
what kind of anything I do like you’re
very calm good-looking young man look at
me I’m a spaz sitting next to you I’m
doing an interview with you focus I’m
sweating ma’am it’s so
but I’d like this going to the airport
like ten miles out and so it’s but it’s
anger that has informed kind of my life
and unflatteringly a sense of vengeance
every damn person who said I wouldn’t be
anything I’m crushing them every day
everybody I had to endure in any band I
was in everyday into a powder yeah thank
you and I wish them no ill I just wish
to shine brighter and if it burns my
body to a crisp I’m happy to go right
now my story is that I am a researcher
and I never thought I would have a big
public career and so I did a TED talk
that went very viral and in the wake of
that I was kind of everywhere for a
couple of months on every cnn.com NPR it
was everywhere and something I wasn’t
used to and the marching orders from my
therapist and my husband were do not
read the comments online so I read all
it’s a one morning I woke up and there
were two or three new articles out and I
started reading the comments and they
were devastating they weren’t about my
work they were about me
they were super personal and they were
the things that created people play in
their mind and then give up doing what
they really want to do like if I asked
every single one of you you would try
what would you try if you knew people
would never say this about you what
would that what would this be
it would those were the comments that
morning
of course she embraces imperfection what
choice does she have which look at how
she looks I feel sorry for her kids less
research more Botox just mean personal
attacks the things that really up until
that moment had inspired me to stay very
small in my life in my career just so I
could avoid those things so that morning
Steve and the kids leave I stay home I
get on the couch and I watch eight hours
of Downton Abbey and when it’s over I
don’t want to turn off Downton Abbey
because I didn’t the minute you turn off
Downton Abbey then it’s like soccer
practice and dinner and back to the mean
people and maybe I get Botox and
maybe you know maybe if I stand still
when I talk
so I get my laptop and I do a search for
who was president in the United States
during the Downton Abbey era have you
ever done that like you you’re numbing
with TV or movie and so when it’s over
you just like stay in that space by like
learning more about the actors and
what’s going on I’ve been doing this
long enough to know this is like you’re
laughing with me not so I put it in and
Theodore Roosevelt comes up and a quote
comes up and I read it and this is what
it says it’s a quote from a speech that
he gave in the early nineteen hundred’s
at the Sorbonne and a lot of people
called them in the arena speech and this
is the passage that changed changes my
life it’s not the critic who counts it’s
not the man who points out how the
strong man stumbles or where the doer of
Deeds could have done it better the
credit belongs to the person who’s
actually in the arena whose face is
marred with blood and sweat and dust who
at the best in the end knows the triumph
of high achievement and who at worst if
so the moment that I read that I closed
my laptop and this is what shifted in me
three huge things first I spent the last
12 years studying vulnerability and that
quote was everything I know about
vulnerability it is not about winning
it’s not about losing it’s about showing
up and being seen the second thing this
is who I want to be I want to create I
want to make things that didn’t exist
before I touch them I want to show up
and be seen in my work and in my life
and if you’re going to show up and be
seen
there is only one guarantee and that is
you will get your ass kicked
that is the guarantee that’s the only
certainty you have if you’re gonna go in
the arena and spend any time in there
whatsoever especially if you’ve
committed to creating in your life you
will get your ass kicked so you have to
decide at that moment I think for all of
us if courage is a value that we hold
this is a consequence you can’t avoid it
the third thing which really set me free
and I think Steve my husband would argue
has made me somewhat dangerous it’s kind
of a new philosophy about criticism
which is this if you’re not in the arena
also getting your ass kicked I’m not
interested in your feedback you stare at
your past and you’ll end up staying
there it’s okay to look back and admire
it but you carry on I’m not I’m not in
the business of staring staring back at
it you know I mean I’m getting lost back
there it’s people say you can people say
a loss can make a break a fighter but
trust me a win can also make a break a
fire because they get comfortable with
it with a win people can get comfortable
with it with a win and and and slack off
their slack off on the train and slack
off on the diet they’ve won one they’re
winners now that’s not me you know you
sleep on a you sleep on a win and you’ll
wake up with a loss so I just carry on
keep doing what I’m doing
and that’s why these turnaround are so
good for me Vegas straight away the
Fighting Irish head to the fighting
capital it’s it’s perfect continue on
this path the freight train straight to
the top
and we’re only gonna go as far as you
think you’re worthy I can push you can
push you you can have the greatest
product but if you don’t feel worthy you
will work hard to sabotage that
relationship you don’t know you don’t
know you’re doing you think these are
the things I need and you’re driving
that guy away you’re driving that woman
away because your self-worth says they
weren’t gonna stay forever anyway or I’m
self-worth around money you have a cat
that you feel like you’re worthy of a
million dollars you will always get to
nine hundred and ninety nine thousand
and you will stop because your
self-worth says it what’s a good
exercise or process that we can follow
on a daily basis maybe something simple
to enhance our enrichment absolutely
worthiness absolutely I did this for six
months every single day right after I
brush my teeth and it’s the ICU exercise
and you get in the mirror now it’s not
necessarily simple because yourself of
course and as complicated as you are
will be the degrees of the mechanics are
very simple yes I appreciate that
distinction I’m you getting the mirror
you complete three different sentences
you want to write this down the first
sentence you look at yourself and you
say your name so you would say Louis and
you complete this as I’m proud that you
and find seven different things every
day to celebrate yourself for seven
different each day you can do the same
thing you did the day before
but each day do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years to that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles because if you can still think
about it is still in your energy space
and then the third sentence
as Louis I commit to you that before you
make a commitment to anybody else
throughout your day you make seven
commitments to you so the first sentence
I’m proud that you you’re celebrating
yourself first we are under celebrated
as it as a society we look for
acknowledgement they enter they
interviewed a hundred executives that
all made over a quarter of a million
dollars and say would you like a five
percent raise next year or would you
rather be told thank you more often 100
percent 100 percent said keep your money
I’d rather hear thank you so we’re under
celebrated but first celebrate you be
the example when I was on Oprah when she
said what do you do I said I recognize
that I’m the example of how the rest of
the world is supposed to treat me and
it’s my job to give the world the best
example of how I like to be treated so
celebrate yourself forgive yourself cut
the shackles and then commit to yourself
before you commit to anyone else that
right there powerful that right there
will begin to fill your cup up mmm to
get to your sausage I love that I say to
the my girls all of the time that your
real work is to figure out where your
power base is and to work on the
alignment of your personality your gifts
that you have to give with the real
reason why you’re here
that’s that’s the number one thing you
have to do is to work on yourself and to
fill your self up and keep your cup full
keep yourself full now I used to be
afraid of that I used to be afraid
particularly from people who say oh
she’s that she still has them she’s
herself and now I embrace it I
considered a compliment that I am full
of myself because you only when you’re
full I’m full I’m overflowing my cup
runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it every
single day that we wake up we have been
gifted the opportunity of
choice you can choose to be happy or you
can choose to be sad I don’t care what
your situation is you should never allow
your situation to define who you are as
a person I know I lived out of my car
for two and a half years and you know
the story that I told them up myself in
my head every day all day long why does
this person get this why does it why is
this always keep happening to me why do
I keep getting this girlfriend this kind
of girlfriend why does this happen to me
how come this person got this record
deal that didn’t how come this person
why oh poor pity me shut up Garin Jones
the outside is the physical
manifestation of what goes on inside the
brain things do not just happen no one
just rear-ends your car you don’t just
become broke broke is a mindset things
don’t just happen your pocketbook is not
just below balance or on zero you’re not
just over just by chance you’re just
overweight things don’t just happen I
wasn’t just living out of my car for two
and a half years the outside is the
physical manifestation of what goes on
inside the brain just like you can think
yourself sad or mad or broke and all of
these things you can also think yourself
happy
I’m telling you coming from a guy that
lived out of this car for two and a half
years I have stuff that I haven’t even
posted online day one day two day three
day four day month like month year it
came it was so bad that I was numb with
emotion numb with emotions crying myself
to sleep cry myself to sleep in my Jeep
how
a guy with so much passion live in his
car for two and a half years it was all
because of me I deserved to live in my
car I deserved to be broke
I deserved not to have the opportunities
that I should have been getting and they
weren’t for me but I’ll tell you what
was for me I woke up every day with an
opportunity to choose different if you
want something different you have to do
something different into that simple
you want something different in life you
have to do something different whatever
it is that you want to do there’s gonna
be risk in your life and risk is a
necessary component of progress you can
make any pioneering movements in the
world of any kind whether they be the
geographical physical exploration that
I’ve just been talking about whether it
be you know a more cerebral exploration
of a scientific field or I bet you could
ask that question of every speaker here
and I bet that every speaker here has
taken substantial risks whether it be
intellectual or otherwise to achieve
what they’re you know what they’ve done
I believe people are bullied because of
the image that they they projected when
I was young I had a lot of a big lack of
confidence and in my school where I used
to go they had the lincoln teenager they
used to pick on the younger kids they
were sent there because i used to that
problem with their family raised by a
single father or mother like our
colleague somewhere our orphan and you
know they grew up in a bad environment
with a lot of violence so the only way
of communication they had it was true
violence and they used to apply that to
the younger kid in school and i was
victim of that unfortunately so so that
thing is that when I go to do conference
the people why why you get bully
sometimes is because the image you
project if you look down raise your
shoulder and look like a weakling in
like in nature the lion will always go
for the animal who’s weak
was injure the same thing in society the
people will bully that easy target and
when I was young had a big problem with
confidence you know I used to people
look down you know I didn’t have older
brother or older cousin to defend myself
I was by myself you know and I got
picked on because I was an easy target
like this
so what martial art taught me is to
stand up straight when I look I talk to
people I look in the eye when I shake
hand I’m firm and the way I start to
carry myself the body language transform
me it’s that I I stop being bullying not
because I start beating up people rights
just because I the way I was starting to
act the way I was starting to the the
projection that I give to people change
and that’s what makes it stop it’s not
about being tough now it’s about
presenting and and look tough and look
confident look confident
same thing in business same thing when
you go ask a girl on a date absolutely
good I am sorry I don’t want to bother
you but please could you think you could
come with me it’s Saturday night –
Darrell you know like it wouldn’t work
you know like they ask you for a look
like a loser you don’t you have to be
and so rock bottom became the solid
foundation on which I rebuild my life it
is impossible to live without failing at
something unless you live so cautiously
you might as well not have lived at all
it took a couple months to like real I
mean I was 17 at the time I just
finished high school two months earlier
and I’m now living in Melbourne I mean I
was playing catch up really quickly
anyway I was living on my own in a new
city where I had never met anyone two
hour flight away from anyone I knew and
I had no money and I was like just
trying to find couches to sleep on at
that point plus before you’re 18 you
can’t like sign up and get electricity
bills and stuff like that so no one
would rent a place to me I didn’t have
any money the whole thing was like I was
just trying to like keep my head above
water at that point and then once it
settled in and I kind of got settled
there and you know it’s working
constantly then that’s when I felt like
oh yeah I’ve seen I’ve seen people make
the jump from here to America so my
choices are either stay or you know be
good enough to stay on this show for
decades the way some cast members have
which you know you have a lovely life in
Melbourne or you screw it up and get
fired which I didn’t obviously didn’t
want to take that option or try and make
the transition to the American industry
you know try and move to LA and do pilot
season as I had seen a few cast members
do at that point so that is my goal any
fear when you made the made the flight
yes but it wasn’t as scary yes
definitely but it wasn’t as scary as
that first moved to Melbourne that first
moved to Melbourne was terrifying
because I was just you know I like I
said I didn’t have money at the time I
didn’t like heaven I didn’t know when
you at least when I moved to LA like
when I did that flight to LA I knew two
people there already who had already
been our neighbors and I had my money
saved so if anything went really wrong I
knew I could afford to get in a cab
drive to the airport and buy a ticket
and so like I that’s all I needed to
know I was like cool I’m sweet whatever
happens like if anything goes really
wrong I can always afford to fire and
they’ll be fine
and it ever once you got here did every
single I Kenny was going really longer
yeah there’s obviously like the ups and
downs and like the crazy as anyone who’s
moved to a new city before I’m sure
they’ve had crazy experiences so I had
all that for sure but but no it was fine
I was I it would have had to take a lot
to make me fly um I was like I will not
be a failure I came here I’m not going
home until I’ve made it in this business
so a lot of people come to me they say
well I want to be an entrepreneur and I
go that’s great what’s your idea and
they go well I don’t have one yet and I
say well I think you should go get a job
as a busboy or something until you find
something you’re really passionate about
because it’s a lot of work and I’m
convinced that about half of what
separates the successful entrepreneurs
from the non successful ones is pure
perseverance it is so hard you pour so
much your life into this thing there are
such rough moments in time that most
people give up I don’t blame them it’s
really tough and it consumes your life I
mean if you’re if you’ve got a family
and you’re in the early days of a
company its I can’t imagine how one
could do it I’m sure it’s it’s been done
but it’s rough I mean because it’s a
pretty much a you know an 18 hour a day
job seven days a week for a while so
unless you have a lot of passion about
this you’re gonna not survive you’re
gonna give it up so you’ve got to have
an idea or a problem or a wrong that you
want to write that you’re passionate
about otherwise you’re not going to have
the perseverance to stick it through and
I think that’s half the battle right
there it’s hard to remember how bad it
was you know in 1980s with IBM taking
over the world with the PC with Doss out
there it was it was far worse than the
Apple 2 and they tried to copy the Apple
2 and they done a pretty bad job and if
you needed to know a lot and so things
were kind of slipping backwards and
Macintosh was you saw the 1984
commercial you put that I hope you have
that in your archives
you know McIntosh was basically this
this relatively small company you know
in Cupertino California taking on the
Goliath IBM and saying wait a minute
your way is wrong this is not the way we
want computers to go this is not the
legacy we want to leave this is not what
we want our kids to be learning this is
wrong and we are going to show you the
right way to do it and here it is it’s
called Macintosh and this is so much
better but it’s going to beat you and we
are going to do it and that’s what Apple stood for
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