a linear life is you get an internship
you get a job you get a promotion you
save up for vacation and you just go
step by step slowly and predictably your
whole way through and again there’s
nothing wrong with that but you have to
be clear with yourself about what you
want an exponential life is about
deciding that you’re not gonna wait
around you’re not gonna hope someone
just you know hands you what you’re
hoping for and it’s about grabbing on to
it for what you want so if you look at
Steven Spielberg the way he did it was
he was rejected from film school so
instead of giving up on his dream he
decided he would take his education into
his own hands so the way the story goes
according to Spielberg is that one day
when he was around 19 years old he
jumped on to a tour bus at Universal
Studios rides around the lot on this
tour jumps off the bus hides in the
bathroom waits for the bus to drive away
and starts walking around the lot and as
he’s walking around he bumps into this
man named Chuck silvers who works at
Universal Television and Chuck Silver’s
sees this kid and says what are you
doing here and Spielberg tells him his
dream and they end up talking for a
while and Silver’s goes you want to come
back on the lot Spielberg goes that
would be a dream and Chuck Silver’s
writes a three-day pass and Spielberg
goes every day back to the lot for the
next three days but on the fourth day
Spielberg puts on a suit gets his dad’s
briefcase walks up to the security
entrance puts a hand in the air and goes
hey Scotty and Scotty just waves back
and Spielberg walks right through and
for the next you know months Spielberg
goes back onto the lot going into
editing rooms learning as much as
possible sneaking onto sets and soaking
it all in really creating his own
education he’s asking producers out to
lunch talking to actors and actresses
but eventually Chuck Silver’s who became
his mentor gave him one of the best
pieces of advice he essentially said
stop snoozing and go make a quality
short film that you can have in your
hand and showed
and it sort of bust that myth of it’s
not you know what you know it’s who you
know it’s really also what you know or
what you have to show so Spielberg takes
the advice to heart makes this
incredible short film called Amblin and
when Chuck Silver season he’s so moved
that a single teardrop falls on his face
and Chuck Silver’s reaches for the phone
and calls the vice president of
universal television Sid Sheinberg and
you go Sid I have something you have to
see and Sid goes look I have a lot to
watch right now is it that important and
Chuck silver goes it’s that goddamn
important if you don’t watch this
tonight someone else will Sheinberg
watches the film the next day says he
wants to see spielberg immediately and
gives him a seven-year contract on the
spot and that’s how he became the
youngest director in Hollywood history
understanding the mechanics of
confidence is really a great
understanding and so if we unpack how
confidence works it’s really actually
pretty simple confidence comes from one
place and really one place only most
people believe that confidence comes
from past success and that’s not
accurate it comes from what you say to
yourself and so at any given point in
time we’re having a conversation we’re
having a dialogue with ourself and if
we’re saying things that are beating
ourselves up it might get us good it
might you might get good at something
but you might not enjoy who you are when
you arrive there so at any given point
in time the dialogue that you have with
our with yourself or with myself that
what we’re doing is we’re speaking in
ways they’re either building confidence
or destroying confidence so confidence
comes from what you say to yourself and
becoming aware and mindful of your inner
dialogue is really at the center of
being able to grow to be able to develop
to be able to pursue potential and it’s
a skill that we can teach it’s a skill
that we can develop and if we have a
better sense of it we can guide our own
minds towards those conversations that
build so when we are asking people to
increase their awareness of their own
thoughts
great now what do we do with it it makes
sense that we want them to guide towards
a positive direction but that’s not
always intuitive and easy once you know
we’re familiar with our own patterns in
our mind and sometimes it really takes a
coach to coach how we think the coach
properly to adjust our own thoughts
and/or apparent when we hear our
children or the athletes that we’re
working with and we hear how they’re
thinking about something and we have a
grounded perspective in life we have we
can recognize it we can hear that oh
that’s not a great way to think about
something then we can take a moment and
take a beat if you will and help them
think about it in a different way and
that’s perspective shifting it’s giving
them a very specific way to purge or
shift the way that they see themselves
in the world again how good my day was
today
I got there five to ten I warmed up it’s
an jumping jacks and push-ups
I did some bridges I did a few hip
escapes that’s long and vMac it’s a long
thing and I got my guard like with John
beat me up and he passed my god every
time Harry didn’t submit me but he
passed my god every but here’s the
beauty of it his own like Amish boys he
passed my guard and I move my legs oh my
god I’m gonna half
basically all the times towards the
Adelman and we got there
I wanted to deep-ass and I went the
wrong direction but in my world I wanted
the d-pad I wouldn’t have done that six
months ago I didn’t know how it worked
and guess what I threw his balance off
for me that’s a start I thought it
do you understand me yeah of course and
you have to do the same thing with
comedy or anything like that you have to
take little accomplishments and not lose
your mind when you do get a big
accomplishment yeah look at it in
perspective oh okay this is why that
happened at least I know it can happen
again now if it happens again I’m a bad
look you know but ever had no and that’s
like that’s like you know for comic okay
I come to see this really happened to me
anything this really happened to me some
guy used to give me a lot of work cool
I still talk to him this is back in
Denver 25 23 years ago this guy used to
give me work and when they called me up
he got me a gig one day and before you
onstage they told me to do he knew
probably worked on every day you know
your students could do you see him every
day he goes through 15 you know now this
is 1995 happened don’t call me for years
I was struggling to do 15 16 I was
struggle ready
there’s no the one outside of some chain
he was what he was supposed to give me a
lot of 12
but he will have a start of some check I
just kept already I just kept going
and I had him and he came back and he
wanted he gave me the light and then
when I got off he goes where everything
goes dogs I’m sorry is check if you end
up doing 38 minutes I couldn’t sleep
that night because I never dreamt of
doing 38 minutes but I did it do you
know the sign if you two came to me into
Joey I’m gonna bind do 20 I would have
choked I was a straight up choke but
since there was no clock in my mind yeah
that’s when I knew it you know I’m sorry
little I went home that night I almost
call CA CBS and supply they let the guy
you’re walking so high it’s such a big
accomplishment it’s such a big
accomplice are the ones that keep you in
the game okay I did 38 I’ll do it enough
for a year you bomb you can’t do 30 you
just bump but eventually if you just
stick it hotdog you’re gonna make you
know it’s a nightmare but it’s so much
fun
you’re gonna play big say big you’re
gonna play huge say huge you’re gonna
play ginormous say ginormous but first
take baby steps you gonna eat the
elephant but take one small bite first
chew it good right we want so much so
fast my grandmother says baby she starts
every sentence with baby I’m sure it’s
because she cannot remember all of our
names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you
as for your building on plexiglass
you’ve been on styrofoam you’ve been on
wood you want to build it on semen your
dream is important enough to outlive you
yes yes and so I realized that that you
can’t Google down lower resiliency
you can’t Google download tenacity you
can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience I want patience I’m
waiting for pick somebody’s gonna piss
you off tomorrow and now you get to test
of your patience I realized I realized
that as I wanted to develop me I have to
be willing to climb and I wanted to get
to the top and there’s no elevator to
the top
I gotta do my squats I got to work on my
quads and my hamstrings and my calves
cuz I gotta climb to the top we got a
climb failure is part of life I mean the
difference for me though is I’m like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes that’s good so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability to influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that messed me up
but I show people that didn’t let it
stop me and you don’t need to stop you
and I think I think that’s really the
secret letter and if everything you
touch was successful first relate to
people as much and also its B total
bullsh and everyone know it’s gold and
also you’d be bored silly I mean think
about it if you just said I want this
and happen I want this to happen you
know people don’t value it they don’t
fight for you know it’s like you see
kids sometimes in it you know your
parents will say you’re not gonna value
this if you don’t work for it and your
kid going oh well you’ll just give it to
me but it’s true you know about things
we’ve worked the hardest for we value
the most so I think you know the purpose
of the goal is not getting it anyway the
purpose of all you know is what
who you becoming will you becomes gonna
make you happier it’s gonna make you sad
so I’m not looking for an effortless
approach there’s no such thing I find
that levels of success in almost any
industry or area correlate to a person
asking great questions in some cases
they seem absurd in fact the hallmarking
way of great questions is that sound
completely ridiculous so some of them
might ask like Peter Thiel why can’t you
achieve your ten-year goals in the next
six months it’s a thought exercise
that’s like–that’s that’s a good
question to answer for yourself and
these types of questions come up
surprisingly often with with very very
impressive folks whether it’s in
business military entertainment or
otherwise and the way you can get better
at questions is by studying interviews
in part so I studied Larry King
I studied Charlie Rose I studied Terry
Gross I studied that that go down the
list
I studied twenty Robbins who does
in-person one-on-one interventions at
his events in front of ten thousand five
thousand people and he’s just genius
with how he uses questions to like
pattern interrupt and grab someone’s
attention and divert them in a more
productive productive direction now why
is that relevant it’s relevant because
thinking is the process of asking
questions you’re asking yourself
questions and then you’re answering them
in your own head so if you get better at
asking other people questions you get
better at asking yourself questions
which means you are a you’re improving
your thought performance and level of
thinking many many kids and many
grown-ups do figure out over time what
their passions are and sometimes we let
our I don’t think it’s that hard I think
what happens though sometimes is that we
let our intellectual selves overrule
those passions and so that’s what needs
to be guarded against so there are a
number of decisions that we make every
day and on a product side there are
billion different features that we can
make so the hard part is really choosing
which ones to focus on which ones to
build and you only have a fine
number that you can’t actually execute
on so for us a lot of it is just
listening to the community and more
importantly understanding you know what
features they’re asking for but why are
they asking for these specific things
what’s the root problem they’re trying
to solve or goal that they’re trying to
achieve and a lot of that is based on
actual behavior so not just what they
say but what they do
what does manhood mean to you because
for so many people I think manhood means
a certain amount of masculinity a
certain amount of you know holding that
egg not letting it crack what you said
you know how do you crack that egg when
did you realize that you know a certain
amount of masculine shredding wasn’t the
right way too big for me right like you
said people think about that masculine
thing for me it was exactly the opposite
I had to get in touch with my feminine
side yeah to become a true man because
let me tell you the Marlboro guy he’s
always by himself you know but the
problem is his wife can’t talk to him
his kids can’t talk to him he’s marching
off on the horse by himself and then he
said he goes to the woodshed and he’s
crying at 55 because he’s all alone and
I realized that is what was gonna happen
to me if I did not stop this macho thing
and really just come in and touch with
what my kids wanted and you know cuz I
have four girls and it was hard and it
was weird cuz I said hey what’s wrong
and they didn’t want to talk to me you
start to realize man I don’t want that
future you know what I mean I don’t want
that I don’t want them to see me as an
adversary I want them to see me as a
friend and I had to really just stop and
come out of my own world and most guys
they feel like it’s being you know being
soft and being cushy and whatever but
get saw get cushy and understand that
you know really really real toughness is
when you can tell people you’re hurting
real toughness is when you can tell
people you know I’m in pain I don’t feel
good right now
you know it was a time I wouldn’t allow
myself to be sad I used to be like okay
alright we’re gonna do something fun
right now and what’s happened I was
blocking out every bad thing in my life
and what I needed to do was deal with it
and some days I just said how did you
deal with it it’s weird I mean just by
acknowledging it just acknowledging it
talking to your mom I talked to my wife
about it I talked to my kids about it
when my kids come to me they don’t
have to be happy there you go dad I just
don’t feel good today and I hug them and
say you know what that’s how it is
sometime and if you’re really trying to
achieve something then so to say hey
here’s my vision and I’d like to say be
obstinate about your vision but be
really flexible about your tactics what
does that mean it’s sort of like think
big act small what that means is it’s
important to have a vision of where
you’re trying to go how you get there is
a series of experiments now you can call
them if aliens when they don’t work but
they’re learning experiments where you
try things see what works try the next
thing don’t solicit feedback on your
product your idea or your business just
for validation purposes be really
careful about that you want to tell the
people that can help move your idea
forward but if you’re just looking to
your friend coworker husband wife for
validation
be careful because out of love and
concern a lot of people will express
some concerns and it can stop a lot of
multi-million dollar ideas right in
their tracks in the beginning I would
say that the lesson learned for me to
anybody else out there interested in
starting a business is please find
something you’re passionate about
because it’s so much work it’s so much
time it’s so much effort but if the
subject matter is something that you you
genuinely love to be involved with it’s
it’s not going to be that big of a drag
and it’s not gonna be that bit much work
it’s gonna be incredibly exciting and
rewarding because to your point you’ll
feel like you’re living your the life
that you’re meant to live today you
should think okay my co-founders do we
do we cover a lot of surface area do we
have different skill sets and is it
somebody that that I trust fundamentally
and that’s those are really really
really important questions to ask
yourself because if so they give a
really strong foundation to go forward
if you’re gonna start your own thing you
know maybe you have a grand grand vision
of like all the different features it’s
gonna have and all the different you
know revenue lines you’re gonna do and
you know keep keep that vision but do
one piece of that first and do it really
really really well it’s so much better
to do a few things well than many things
poorly you can’t ever sort of balance
two completely contradictory things as a
means of hedging you have to decide what
are you going to believe in and put all
of your energy behind that and that’s
that’s the those are the kinds of
strategic decisions and trade-offs that
you make every day as an entrepreneur
and it’s important that you create the
level of clarity and conviction to go
after an opportunity that isn’t hedging
you know lots of different ideas or lots
of different approaches because that’s
the surest way that you’ll never be good
at at sort of anything and I find even
with myself that it’s really hard to do
a Minimum Viable Product this minimum
that you’re constantly thinking no no it
really has to have this other partner it
really has to have this and then you
over build and then you have to unbilled
and rebuild which is very disappointing
so doing a Minimum Viable Product is
really important and it’s even more
minimum than you think it is we get to
create any company we want right we get
to create the reason for its existence
we get to create the rules of the game
and who we hire and how we hire them and
who can stay and who can’t stay right
it’s beautiful and so I just would
encourage everyone that as we all
contemplate life to try to question the
assumptions that we live by and the
default options that are given to us and
expand our thinking to wonder what we
really can’t do with our lives what I
see right now is people wrap up their
sense of success and identity with their
prowess and fundraising and comparing
themselves against how their peers are
doing I think that’s really the wrong
way to look at things and it leads to
kind of non optimal outcomes for
instance I don’t know if the valuations
that companies are getting today is
necessarily healthy for the company
themselves and for us again you know our
inability to raise capital actually
forced us to be very disciplined in how
we think about the operational metrics
of the company and that’s allowed us to
you know it’d be pretty successfully I
do believe that organizations human
organizations are inherently unstable
they will fall over and you have to work
to keep them upright but they fall
slowly most people don’t notice it they
let their success blind them they don’t
see it falling over the following takes
place low but the collapse is quick you
have to do constant assessment you have
to look for the hard truths don’t
necessarily think that you have to have
the home run in the huge Apple Computer
on your first start I spent a long time
in my life with skills just building
little devices for fun for fun is one of
the key things because that drives you
to think and think and think and make it
better and better and better
than you ever would if you’re doing it
for a company build things at first for
yourself that you would want if you’re
not coming up with ten ideas a day
that’s why I have this thing I’m not
coming up when I’m filling up this page
every single day then my idea muscle
will atrophy and I started this in 2001
and I still do it every single day like
you have to come up with ideas every
single day or the idea muscle atrophies
the good news is after about six months
of doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any you already know
who you are and that piece that piece
that we’re after lies somewhere beyond
personality your need for acceptance can
make you invisible in this world
don’t let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory
time be decisive I try and even if I
don’t know what the hell I’m doing I try
to be decisive because I think it’s very
comforting and reassuring and important
to the people that work with you to feel
that whoever is in charge knows what
they’re doing and knows what they’re
thinking and that if it’s a yes it’s a
yes and it’s a no it’s a no I mean I
don’t think of myself as a boss I mean I
I think of myself as someone who’s
giving direction and guidance and vice
versa went to Harvard and you’re dropped
out have you ever thought how your life
could be better off if you had gotten
your Harvard degree well I I’m a weird
dropout because I take college courses
all the time I love learning company
courses and things so I love being a
student and there were smart people
around and you know they fed you and
they gave you these nice grades that
made you feel smart so I I feel it was
unfortunate that I didn’t get to stay
there but I don’t think I missed any
knowledge because you know whatever I
needed to learn I would I was still in a
learning mode everybody thought we were
crazy we probably were crazy but having
a dream like that that resonates with
people changing the world achieving
something big it turns out that’s what
pulls you through the hard times every
company has a heart as hard times every
company has setbacks and it’s having
that that that mountain in the distance
that you’re trying to scale that is what
gets everybody through building really
great companies just takes a while and
it’s good to not try to do it too fast
it’s really really really good to be
but it’s not that great to be too hasty
it’s not necessarily about the the exit
or the outcome it’s it’s about the
journey so it’s for me it’s just I think
you just you just need to enjoy that
aspect of it it’s you know because it’s
not an always an easy ride it’s sort of
up ups and downs along the way but as
long as you’re personally fulfilled by
that experience and genuinely enjoy what
you do then it makes it worthwhile
somebody said to you you’ll have or
you’ll be as successful as you are now
what have you had said back then I
[Music]
believe you that’s what I would have
said because I they believed I believed
in I had very few people who told me
that I had a small small small group of
people that would tell me something like
that order than that it was just me
telling myself yeah so if someone came
up to me and told me that all the way
when you start with a your company
you’re gonna have a lot of anxiety and
stress and fear and your job is to
transform that into self-confidence and
to give you kind of that you know the
ability to say I have clarity I trust
myself I have a feeling for my vision I
can see that happening I work with
entrepreneurs all the time that kind of
shift from you know anxiety to trust
that’s the most important thing that
they can go through be lucky I think
when I give that advice be lucky it’s a
little bit glib but I think there’s also
looking out for those opportunities and
being conscious and being aware and
looking for opportunities to be lucky
because you can definitely put yourself
in a position where luck isn’t gonna
make any difference you’re really trying
to solve a new problem in a different
way you have to come to problems with
beginner’s mind right not knowing
something can be a very powerful tool in
to accomplishing it because you don’t
know that it’s not possible that’s what
doing a start-up is not realizing that
something is impossible and doing it
anyway
so many things go wrong when you’re
starting a company and often I think
people ask you know what mistakes should
you avoid making and you know my answer
the question is don’t even bother trying
to avoid mistakes because you’re gonna
make tons of mistakes right and the the
important thing is actually learning
quickly from whatever mistakes you make
and not giving up right and I mean there
are things every single year of
Facebook’s existence that could have
killed us or made it so that it just
seemed like moving forward and making a
lot of progress just seemed intractable
but you just kind of bounce back and you
learn and nothing is impossible you just
have to kind of keep running through the
walls from the time I was seven years
old every Saturday I would go for four
hours of acting class every Saturday
whoa and I
I just left until the point where all
the kids graduated and went on to the
other stuff and I started doing adult
acting classes and then I was in the
commercial classes and then I loved like
the hair and makeup classes and just
everything I just couldn’t go enough and
you know what everybody wants to hear
what they already believe to be true and
so the last thing that we want to hear
is an original idea that contradicts
their belief system so it’s very hard to
even bring that kind of stuff up but
those are the things those are the only
things things that you believe that
everybody around you doesn’t believe
when you’re right that create real value
in the world everything else people
already know there’s no value created
it’s just business as usual so it’s so
important to think for yourself how do
you think about making a decision when
everyone tells you this is a crazy idea
where do you get the internal strength
to do that well first of all I’d say I
actually think I feel fair quite
strongly so it’s not as though I just
have the absence of fear I’ve I feel it
quite strongly but there are times when
if something is important enough you
believe in it enough that you do you do
it in spite of the fear so speaking of
important things like people shouldn’t
think III should think well I feel fear
about this and therefore I shouldn’t do
it it’s normal to be to feel fair like
you’d have to definitely something
mentally wrong you shouldn’t feel fair
so you just feel it and let the
importance of it anyway yeah you know
actually we’re something that can be
helpful as fatalism some degree if you
just think if you just accept the
probabilities then that diminishes fair
so we’re starting SpaceX I thought the
odds of success were less than 10% and I
just accepted that actually probably I
would just lose lose everything but that
maybe would make some progress if we
could just move the ball forward even if
we died maybe some other company could
pick up the baton and move and keep
moving it forward so that we still do
yeah say with Tesla I thought the odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low so just go and do it
try learn from it you know you’ll fail
at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who you may respect and
who you believe know what they’re
talking about don’t let them tell you it
can’t be done because often they will
tell you it can’t be done and it’s just
because they don’t have the courage to
try it Ben Graham and his low and his
low teens looked around and he looked at
the people he admired and he said you
know I want to be admired so why don’t I
just behave like them and they found
there was nothing impossible about
behaving like them and similarly he did
the same thing on the reverse side in
terms of getting rid of those qualities
one of the things I advise entrepreneurs
to do is when you have an idea a classic
entrepreneurial impulse is to hold the
idea close to you and not going to help
you because all the ideas so special
right that’s almost always a mistake go
talk to why is that a mistake
yeah it’s a mistake because your actual
real competitive advantage is not that
you have this idea that you have locked
away in your closet which may or may not
be accurate and you have no idea which
it is your actual competitive advantages
if you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in motion think
that’s what people always have to ask
themselves do you believe in the concept
of what you’re doing you believe that
there’s really there there you can
figure out the right you know product
package or the right way to reach users
if you believe that then you know he
keeps scrapping because usually there’s
a way like me have to do everything
three times before we get it right
thankfully I know that so I know that I
have to get up early and and try it five
times
because the eight year old will be able
to get past it in two times so I have to
be on my feet longer but at least I know
it and so I just go at stuff and it
served me very well and that my resume
is pretty varied and I have a pretty
interesting life you get to do different
stuff and have a bit of access because I
just said yeah I’ll try that I mean why
would I hold back soon as we I got off
the phone call with him and then also
when he said it’s not in the picture now
but we think I think it’d be great at
Dallas day
at the end and my heartbeat went up on
the phone and I started breaking the
cold sweat like oh no I thought that’s
not and as soon as I wouldn’t all no
that’s not that the other other devil in
my ear said dare you do and I just meant
of course I think it’s yes cuz I
immediately notice if you don’t you will
sit out dude are you kidding me you will
forever regret you have to so as soon as
that got over that I was like well
that’s inevitable I’m doing it mmm now I
gotta bust my ass to go do it the best I
can and a lot of fear that mmm I mean
that was yeah that was that was some
major really good anxiety and fear and
then now we’re saying now I’m saying by
that time now everything my choice is
from that phone call long work anything
I was nervous about you have to go no
don’t go all I go meet midnight yes can
y’all meet him for another Corey
choreographed session 8:00 a.m. Sunday
morning do you got an hour
I’m gonna go send the mirror my wife’s
over there watching reading something I
understand the mirror I’m gonna practice
a move this is really embarrassing well
too bad man do it in the mirror right
now because the less embarrassing that
gets hopefully the more comfortable
you’ll be when you’re out there in front
of 80 people ain’t let your cameras and
go all the way you know one way to
conceptualize what makes a good product
is you know good engineering is part of
it good design is part of it but really
it’s one way I think about is at least
is maximizing the probability that
someone shows up at the front door of
you know your store or your website or
or whatever it is and ends up with a
solved problem and oftentimes the best
methodology is to start with the perfect
experience of just one person get that
right and then forget how to scale
something great
instead of scales I mean not so great
and then trying to improve it that’s
really hard to do I’ve learned an
experience is
you know if you don’t open up and you
don’t delegate then you’ll kill yourself
and if there’s one thing I’ve managed to
understand is the art of delegation
because if I can pass on you know to
Claire Smith the area my palate my
understanding my knowledge then grab it
run it and then pass on to your team
don’t hold that inside so the most
important part of getting to a goal is
to start feeling it now is to start
acting as if right if you want to be
that leader if you want to be that
author if you want to be that painter
all it takes is one action and you truly
are in the process of becoming it so
it’s funny that I am literally basically
done with the book and I’m like can I
call myself an author yet I’ve written a
book of course because you have taken
the action you’re doing the actions
there is no final anointing of anyone
there’s no ceremony there’s no fireworks
you just start acting as if and feeling
it and envisioning it and picturing it
and soon enough you become it right so
everybody starts somewhere so whether
you are a famous ballerina or an Olympic
swimmer they all started somewhere they
all had to take that first class they
all had to take that first leap into the
water right and at what point can you
start calling yourself a swimmer a
dancer an author it’s the second that
you start taking action and you start
thinking it and you’re feeling it right
it’s about embodying it so my biggest
tip for you is to start seeing yourself
as that person and start taking the
small actions of being that person that
you want to be that’s the only thing
that is separating you from actually
being it so you have to act as if in
order to really start getting that ball
rolling and all of a sudden you are I
was with a bunch of other
who I respect and they brought me a deal
and I wanted to be part of it but it
didn’t feel right and I wrote millions
of dollars on that one and it just
didn’t feel right and I lost it all
within two years associate masters
Tristar that absolutely and trust you
well what about you said earlier don’t
be emotional and sometimes the gun know
this this is a barometer of risk it’s
something and internalized for an
investor that says I don’t feel
comfortable it’s not about emotion just
don’t write that check that was recently
the first time I didn’t listen to that
and I lost everything so now my radar is
up I listen to my gut it’s not an
emotion it’s an an index of risk and you
get it as you age you become a better
investor every year if only I could live
to 200 I’d be really good if you’re not
utilizing an online community then
you’re at a disadvantage to those who
are you can be asking online communities
what they think about your ideas or if
they have any advice with what you’re
working on not only will you hear from
people who are passionate about the
subject but you’ll be hearing from
people all around the world each with
their own experiences and stories that
can help you I looked at lots of
companies and why I thought they don’t
succeed over time we’ve had a more rapid
turnover of companies I said what did
they fundamentally do wrong and one of
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what does that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it that whatever you do somebody
can do it better you have to bring your
a-game in every single day there’s
nothing unique about any one individual
what’s unique is their passion their
ability to execute to meet targets and
exceed them the minute you lose that
ability in capitalism you’re gone it’s a
fair trade the engine that makes you
rich can take it all away from you there
are no guarantee
I think that’s incredibly important well
familiar me yeah visualize where you
want to be and what you want to
accomplish you kind of get lost in the
process of day-to-day you know grinding
it out working pulling on eyes if you
have to you know that this is just about
not losing vision and not losing sight
of what you’re what you’re trying to
accomplish no matter what hurdles you
have to go through so I think that kind
of relates to whatever you’re doing
whatever you know major you’ve chosen
what you’re interested in so for me and
basketball and it’s about you know
visualizing whether you write it down
and put it on the wall do something with
what your goals are and get lost in the
process of the day to day trying day to
day getting better every single day
asking questions aligning yourself with
people that have been through it before
that that are experienced and leaning on
that advice and just trying to outwork
the next person and that’s the biggest
thing has acting turned out to be all
that you wanted it to be it’s incredible
it’s incredible you know I I never knew
that I could do it as a career I never
knew I it was the first memory that I
had it’s the first thing I can think of
as saying I want to be an actor to my
parents and if I hadn’t lived in Los
Angeles and been in such close proximity
to sort of the mecca of moviemaking if I
didn’t have parents that said okay we’ll
drive you to auditions we didn’t have
the economic means to you know move camp
from Idaho to Los Angeles because some
snotty ten-year-old kids as a Latina
we did it after school I got to go on
auditions but it was always and I’ve
said this before it felt like an elite
group of people and it felt like I would
never belong to them so once I got the
opportunity to to for example get the
movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said wow now I’m able to not be
able to steer the course of my career I
might be able to have a career similar
to these guys that
you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know cuz it’s constantly
dissatisfied in other words so when we
see a kid with a lemonade stand it’s
different than when we see a vending
machine selling lemonade even if it’s
exactly the same product because the
story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re 2 percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world there’s
a lot of conventional wisdom out there
built up over time and built through all
the learnings from all the companies and
this may be fully applicable to most of
the companies out there but before it’s
applied to your organization I highly
recommend that you question it because
it could be absolutely fatal for your
success and so I think when you are
starting a new business you uh you don’t
want to go after giant markets you want
to go after small markets and you want
to take over those markets quickly what
this all comes down to is doing
something exceptional for your users
whether it’s in community and so it’s
not just about doing focus groups it’s
not just about you know double-checking
your vision it really is about
integrating this concept of testing our
ideas rigorously throughout the product
development process out the marketing
process even as we scale up the hardest
thing to do is start you have all these
ideas and everyone has an idea but it’s
really about executing the idea and
building the idea and attracting other
people to help you work on the idea that
is the biggest challenge but the way to
begin is
the idea out of your head draw it out
you know talk about it program it if
you’re a programmer or make it if you’re
building something and so when we’re
coming up with ideas you know we always
ask ourselves what kind of new market is
this creating and then also what what
part of my day and and what problem is
it solving and so I’ve gone as far as
taking an entire catalogue of my day
from the moment I like open my eyes and
writing down every single thing I do and
then asking myself like is there
something here a lot of times I’ll be
the tours at Mile Run or something like
that and I’m all jacked up bodies broken
mines broken spirits broken I started to
say what if I can pull this off when I
first walked into the Navy SEAL
recruiters office he looked at me and
said only been 35 african-americans and
70 years make it through you know I said
to myself what if I can be the 36 it’s
the what if I can pull off a miracle
what if I can become someone that no one
thinks I can be and just that just means
talking about that I have hair growing
up on my arms because it makes me just
like what if I can be that guy that
people who called nigger and this and
that and now I’m speaking at tom ferry
event compassion for yourself of course
it’s as important as compassion for
others when often I get asked questions
like people who did something that they
now realize realize was deeply wrong in
the past sometimes people ask questions
about they brought up their children in
a way that they now realize was not very
conscious and so that they may have
caused suffering to their children or
other people find they have caused
suffering to loved ones and they now
realize that what they did was wrong and
again I say this is an example where you
need to be compassionate with yourself
because no Bowman being can act beyond
their level of consciousness so that was
your level of consciousness at the time
and you could not go beyond that and
again here to make demands upon yourself
up to a point it might be a good thing
to be true if you as long as you enjoy
it it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this is something here that’s not
right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing
once you have passion anything that
you’re passionate about you can look at
other people other entities or other
things or works of art you can draw
things from it to help you be better at
what you
by looking for those common denominators
I don’t even know how do you I prepared
how do I prepare how do I study how do I
view the game how do you build your game
and my response is much like the way he
builds products and you think
sequentially oh yeah you look at this
the end result of what you want to
create but in order to create that
there’s so many other little things that
go into this massive entity that device
it’s no different than building my
basketball game you start with what do
you want your game to be what would make
your game most unstoppable or hard to
deal with and now you work backwards
from there and you start building it one
piece at a time one move at a time one
counter there’s a lot of similarities
there but what you really need to do is
think about what is the smallest
possible test that I can run for this
idea for this concept for this theory
get it out there and get customers using
it because your customers are gonna be
the ones to tell you if it’s really
working or not try to do something that
you would want to do anyway whether it’s
it doesn’t necessarily have to be a very
successful business because when you do
decide to become an entrepreneur and
start a business chances are it’s not
gonna
it’s not gonna become like a
multi-million dollar business so at
least do something that you love in the
beginning so that even if it fails you’d
still enjoy it I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming
what can I anticipate that other people
don’t see and then you must have the
courage of your convictions to execute
the strategy you want an idea about what
you can say I know it sounds like a bad
idea but here’s specifically why it’s
actually a great one you want to sound
crazy but you want to actually be right
because when you’re trying to
differentiate when you’re trying to do
something different there’s going to be
that gut moment that gut sense is this
right is this not right if you’re not if
you’re not having doubt you’re not
pushing the boundaries far enough the
definition of values is they’re the
behaviors or principles that you
religiously adhere to within your
company honor I say religious I mean
that no amount of data will sway you in
it from from those principles and the
degree to which that you have the
courage to maintain your conviction
around those ideas is the degree to
which you’re going to be successful over
the long term go talk to people who
failed at what you’re doing and who are
no longer doing it there always are
those people
so you started a start-up you know you
look at the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to
Sounders who have no idea the history of
their own space and there’s some night
there’s some nice naivete to that in the
sense that like you’re gonna do that
differently and
and there’s some truth to that but like
when you get down to to making it work
and now you’re into it already you’ve
kind of Salus what you’re doing and you
have some problems then I’d go talk to
all these people who failed because
you’ll uncover all sorts of interesting
things that you could try whether it’s
in connection or whether it’s in design
this is our big advantage as a start-up
is that we can actually get away with
doing this we can make this the core
part of why we’re doing business it’s so
hard I thought doing this research I
thought going into it there were
authentic people and inauthentic people
who I had I did not find any evidence of
that at all what I found is authenticity
to practice and you choose it every day
sometimes every hour of every day
and it’s a practice it’s not I just wake
up in ham authentic most startups that
fail do it ultimately because they did
not make something that people wanted
they made something that you know that
they thought people would want but they
were either in denial about it about you
know whether it was actually any good or
somebody else came on and made something
that people wanted even more so it’s
about this movement forward now what you
own not your education or your pedigree
not pile of resources you might have at
hand not your network just going after
this thing and knowing that as you do
that you’ll find what you need you’ll
make your way over around and through
and I think the best entrepreneurs that
I’ve met are able to do that because
they have this strong vision and they
know that it’s worth it to keep moving
forward larger more established entities
can’t move as quickly as you can and
success and scale and size all fight
against this and I would encourage you
for the longest possible time
as you sort of start your own companies to look for ways to stay agile
you get a job you get a promotion you
save up for vacation and you just go
step by step slowly and predictably your
whole way through and again there’s
nothing wrong with that but you have to
be clear with yourself about what you
want an exponential life is about
deciding that you’re not gonna wait
around you’re not gonna hope someone
just you know hands you what you’re
hoping for and it’s about grabbing on to
it for what you want so if you look at
Steven Spielberg the way he did it was
he was rejected from film school so
instead of giving up on his dream he
decided he would take his education into
his own hands so the way the story goes
according to Spielberg is that one day
when he was around 19 years old he
jumped on to a tour bus at Universal
Studios rides around the lot on this
tour jumps off the bus hides in the
bathroom waits for the bus to drive away
and starts walking around the lot and as
he’s walking around he bumps into this
man named Chuck silvers who works at
Universal Television and Chuck Silver’s
sees this kid and says what are you
doing here and Spielberg tells him his
dream and they end up talking for a
while and Silver’s goes you want to come
back on the lot Spielberg goes that
would be a dream and Chuck Silver’s
writes a three-day pass and Spielberg
goes every day back to the lot for the
next three days but on the fourth day
Spielberg puts on a suit gets his dad’s
briefcase walks up to the security
entrance puts a hand in the air and goes
hey Scotty and Scotty just waves back
and Spielberg walks right through and
for the next you know months Spielberg
goes back onto the lot going into
editing rooms learning as much as
possible sneaking onto sets and soaking
it all in really creating his own
education he’s asking producers out to
lunch talking to actors and actresses
but eventually Chuck Silver’s who became
his mentor gave him one of the best
pieces of advice he essentially said
stop snoozing and go make a quality
short film that you can have in your
hand and showed
and it sort of bust that myth of it’s
not you know what you know it’s who you
know it’s really also what you know or
what you have to show so Spielberg takes
the advice to heart makes this
incredible short film called Amblin and
when Chuck Silver season he’s so moved
that a single teardrop falls on his face
and Chuck Silver’s reaches for the phone
and calls the vice president of
universal television Sid Sheinberg and
you go Sid I have something you have to
see and Sid goes look I have a lot to
watch right now is it that important and
Chuck silver goes it’s that goddamn
important if you don’t watch this
tonight someone else will Sheinberg
watches the film the next day says he
wants to see spielberg immediately and
gives him a seven-year contract on the
spot and that’s how he became the
youngest director in Hollywood history
understanding the mechanics of
confidence is really a great
understanding and so if we unpack how
confidence works it’s really actually
pretty simple confidence comes from one
place and really one place only most
people believe that confidence comes
from past success and that’s not
accurate it comes from what you say to
yourself and so at any given point in
time we’re having a conversation we’re
having a dialogue with ourself and if
we’re saying things that are beating
ourselves up it might get us good it
might you might get good at something
but you might not enjoy who you are when
you arrive there so at any given point
in time the dialogue that you have with
our with yourself or with myself that
what we’re doing is we’re speaking in
ways they’re either building confidence
or destroying confidence so confidence
comes from what you say to yourself and
becoming aware and mindful of your inner
dialogue is really at the center of
being able to grow to be able to develop
to be able to pursue potential and it’s
a skill that we can teach it’s a skill
that we can develop and if we have a
better sense of it we can guide our own
minds towards those conversations that
build so when we are asking people to
increase their awareness of their own
thoughts
great now what do we do with it it makes
sense that we want them to guide towards
a positive direction but that’s not
always intuitive and easy once you know
we’re familiar with our own patterns in
our mind and sometimes it really takes a
coach to coach how we think the coach
properly to adjust our own thoughts
and/or apparent when we hear our
children or the athletes that we’re
working with and we hear how they’re
thinking about something and we have a
grounded perspective in life we have we
can recognize it we can hear that oh
that’s not a great way to think about
something then we can take a moment and
take a beat if you will and help them
think about it in a different way and
that’s perspective shifting it’s giving
them a very specific way to purge or
shift the way that they see themselves
in the world again how good my day was
today
I got there five to ten I warmed up it’s
an jumping jacks and push-ups
I did some bridges I did a few hip
escapes that’s long and vMac it’s a long
thing and I got my guard like with John
beat me up and he passed my god every
time Harry didn’t submit me but he
passed my god every but here’s the
beauty of it his own like Amish boys he
passed my guard and I move my legs oh my
god I’m gonna half
basically all the times towards the
Adelman and we got there
I wanted to deep-ass and I went the
wrong direction but in my world I wanted
the d-pad I wouldn’t have done that six
months ago I didn’t know how it worked
and guess what I threw his balance off
for me that’s a start I thought it
do you understand me yeah of course and
you have to do the same thing with
comedy or anything like that you have to
take little accomplishments and not lose
your mind when you do get a big
accomplishment yeah look at it in
perspective oh okay this is why that
happened at least I know it can happen
again now if it happens again I’m a bad
look you know but ever had no and that’s
like that’s like you know for comic okay
I come to see this really happened to me
anything this really happened to me some
guy used to give me a lot of work cool
I still talk to him this is back in
Denver 25 23 years ago this guy used to
give me work and when they called me up
he got me a gig one day and before you
onstage they told me to do he knew
probably worked on every day you know
your students could do you see him every
day he goes through 15 you know now this
is 1995 happened don’t call me for years
I was struggling to do 15 16 I was
struggle ready
there’s no the one outside of some chain
he was what he was supposed to give me a
lot of 12
but he will have a start of some check I
just kept already I just kept going
and I had him and he came back and he
wanted he gave me the light and then
when I got off he goes where everything
goes dogs I’m sorry is check if you end
up doing 38 minutes I couldn’t sleep
that night because I never dreamt of
doing 38 minutes but I did it do you
know the sign if you two came to me into
Joey I’m gonna bind do 20 I would have
choked I was a straight up choke but
since there was no clock in my mind yeah
that’s when I knew it you know I’m sorry
little I went home that night I almost
call CA CBS and supply they let the guy
you’re walking so high it’s such a big
accomplishment it’s such a big
accomplice are the ones that keep you in
the game okay I did 38 I’ll do it enough
for a year you bomb you can’t do 30 you
just bump but eventually if you just
stick it hotdog you’re gonna make you
know it’s a nightmare but it’s so much
fun
you’re gonna play big say big you’re
gonna play huge say huge you’re gonna
play ginormous say ginormous but first
take baby steps you gonna eat the
elephant but take one small bite first
chew it good right we want so much so
fast my grandmother says baby she starts
every sentence with baby I’m sure it’s
because she cannot remember all of our
names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you
as for your building on plexiglass
you’ve been on styrofoam you’ve been on
wood you want to build it on semen your
dream is important enough to outlive you
yes yes and so I realized that that you
can’t Google down lower resiliency
you can’t Google download tenacity you
can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience I want patience I’m
waiting for pick somebody’s gonna piss
you off tomorrow and now you get to test
of your patience I realized I realized
that as I wanted to develop me I have to
be willing to climb and I wanted to get
to the top and there’s no elevator to
the top
I gotta do my squats I got to work on my
quads and my hamstrings and my calves
cuz I gotta climb to the top we got a
climb failure is part of life I mean the
difference for me though is I’m like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes that’s good so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability to influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that messed me up
but I show people that didn’t let it
stop me and you don’t need to stop you
and I think I think that’s really the
secret letter and if everything you
touch was successful first relate to
people as much and also its B total
bullsh and everyone know it’s gold and
also you’d be bored silly I mean think
about it if you just said I want this
and happen I want this to happen you
know people don’t value it they don’t
fight for you know it’s like you see
kids sometimes in it you know your
parents will say you’re not gonna value
this if you don’t work for it and your
kid going oh well you’ll just give it to
me but it’s true you know about things
we’ve worked the hardest for we value
the most so I think you know the purpose
of the goal is not getting it anyway the
purpose of all you know is what
who you becoming will you becomes gonna
make you happier it’s gonna make you sad
so I’m not looking for an effortless
approach there’s no such thing I find
that levels of success in almost any
industry or area correlate to a person
asking great questions in some cases
they seem absurd in fact the hallmarking
way of great questions is that sound
completely ridiculous so some of them
might ask like Peter Thiel why can’t you
achieve your ten-year goals in the next
six months it’s a thought exercise
that’s like–that’s that’s a good
question to answer for yourself and
these types of questions come up
surprisingly often with with very very
impressive folks whether it’s in
business military entertainment or
otherwise and the way you can get better
at questions is by studying interviews
in part so I studied Larry King
I studied Charlie Rose I studied Terry
Gross I studied that that go down the
list
I studied twenty Robbins who does
in-person one-on-one interventions at
his events in front of ten thousand five
thousand people and he’s just genius
with how he uses questions to like
pattern interrupt and grab someone’s
attention and divert them in a more
productive productive direction now why
is that relevant it’s relevant because
thinking is the process of asking
questions you’re asking yourself
questions and then you’re answering them
in your own head so if you get better at
asking other people questions you get
better at asking yourself questions
which means you are a you’re improving
your thought performance and level of
thinking many many kids and many
grown-ups do figure out over time what
their passions are and sometimes we let
our I don’t think it’s that hard I think
what happens though sometimes is that we
let our intellectual selves overrule
those passions and so that’s what needs
to be guarded against so there are a
number of decisions that we make every
day and on a product side there are
billion different features that we can
make so the hard part is really choosing
which ones to focus on which ones to
build and you only have a fine
number that you can’t actually execute
on so for us a lot of it is just
listening to the community and more
importantly understanding you know what
features they’re asking for but why are
they asking for these specific things
what’s the root problem they’re trying
to solve or goal that they’re trying to
achieve and a lot of that is based on
actual behavior so not just what they
say but what they do
what does manhood mean to you because
for so many people I think manhood means
a certain amount of masculinity a
certain amount of you know holding that
egg not letting it crack what you said
you know how do you crack that egg when
did you realize that you know a certain
amount of masculine shredding wasn’t the
right way too big for me right like you
said people think about that masculine
thing for me it was exactly the opposite
I had to get in touch with my feminine
side yeah to become a true man because
let me tell you the Marlboro guy he’s
always by himself you know but the
problem is his wife can’t talk to him
his kids can’t talk to him he’s marching
off on the horse by himself and then he
said he goes to the woodshed and he’s
crying at 55 because he’s all alone and
I realized that is what was gonna happen
to me if I did not stop this macho thing
and really just come in and touch with
what my kids wanted and you know cuz I
have four girls and it was hard and it
was weird cuz I said hey what’s wrong
and they didn’t want to talk to me you
start to realize man I don’t want that
future you know what I mean I don’t want
that I don’t want them to see me as an
adversary I want them to see me as a
friend and I had to really just stop and
come out of my own world and most guys
they feel like it’s being you know being
soft and being cushy and whatever but
get saw get cushy and understand that
you know really really real toughness is
when you can tell people you’re hurting
real toughness is when you can tell
people you know I’m in pain I don’t feel
good right now
you know it was a time I wouldn’t allow
myself to be sad I used to be like okay
alright we’re gonna do something fun
right now and what’s happened I was
blocking out every bad thing in my life
and what I needed to do was deal with it
and some days I just said how did you
deal with it it’s weird I mean just by
acknowledging it just acknowledging it
talking to your mom I talked to my wife
about it I talked to my kids about it
when my kids come to me they don’t
have to be happy there you go dad I just
don’t feel good today and I hug them and
say you know what that’s how it is
sometime and if you’re really trying to
achieve something then so to say hey
here’s my vision and I’d like to say be
obstinate about your vision but be
really flexible about your tactics what
does that mean it’s sort of like think
big act small what that means is it’s
important to have a vision of where
you’re trying to go how you get there is
a series of experiments now you can call
them if aliens when they don’t work but
they’re learning experiments where you
try things see what works try the next
thing don’t solicit feedback on your
product your idea or your business just
for validation purposes be really
careful about that you want to tell the
people that can help move your idea
forward but if you’re just looking to
your friend coworker husband wife for
validation
be careful because out of love and
concern a lot of people will express
some concerns and it can stop a lot of
multi-million dollar ideas right in
their tracks in the beginning I would
say that the lesson learned for me to
anybody else out there interested in
starting a business is please find
something you’re passionate about
because it’s so much work it’s so much
time it’s so much effort but if the
subject matter is something that you you
genuinely love to be involved with it’s
it’s not going to be that big of a drag
and it’s not gonna be that bit much work
it’s gonna be incredibly exciting and
rewarding because to your point you’ll
feel like you’re living your the life
that you’re meant to live today you
should think okay my co-founders do we
do we cover a lot of surface area do we
have different skill sets and is it
somebody that that I trust fundamentally
and that’s those are really really
really important questions to ask
yourself because if so they give a
really strong foundation to go forward
if you’re gonna start your own thing you
know maybe you have a grand grand vision
of like all the different features it’s
gonna have and all the different you
know revenue lines you’re gonna do and
you know keep keep that vision but do
one piece of that first and do it really
really really well it’s so much better
to do a few things well than many things
poorly you can’t ever sort of balance
two completely contradictory things as a
means of hedging you have to decide what
are you going to believe in and put all
of your energy behind that and that’s
that’s the those are the kinds of
strategic decisions and trade-offs that
you make every day as an entrepreneur
and it’s important that you create the
level of clarity and conviction to go
after an opportunity that isn’t hedging
you know lots of different ideas or lots
of different approaches because that’s
the surest way that you’ll never be good
at at sort of anything and I find even
with myself that it’s really hard to do
a Minimum Viable Product this minimum
that you’re constantly thinking no no it
really has to have this other partner it
really has to have this and then you
over build and then you have to unbilled
and rebuild which is very disappointing
so doing a Minimum Viable Product is
really important and it’s even more
minimum than you think it is we get to
create any company we want right we get
to create the reason for its existence
we get to create the rules of the game
and who we hire and how we hire them and
who can stay and who can’t stay right
it’s beautiful and so I just would
encourage everyone that as we all
contemplate life to try to question the
assumptions that we live by and the
default options that are given to us and
expand our thinking to wonder what we
really can’t do with our lives what I
see right now is people wrap up their
sense of success and identity with their
prowess and fundraising and comparing
themselves against how their peers are
doing I think that’s really the wrong
way to look at things and it leads to
kind of non optimal outcomes for
instance I don’t know if the valuations
that companies are getting today is
necessarily healthy for the company
themselves and for us again you know our
inability to raise capital actually
forced us to be very disciplined in how
we think about the operational metrics
of the company and that’s allowed us to
you know it’d be pretty successfully I
do believe that organizations human
organizations are inherently unstable
they will fall over and you have to work
to keep them upright but they fall
slowly most people don’t notice it they
let their success blind them they don’t
see it falling over the following takes
place low but the collapse is quick you
have to do constant assessment you have
to look for the hard truths don’t
necessarily think that you have to have
the home run in the huge Apple Computer
on your first start I spent a long time
in my life with skills just building
little devices for fun for fun is one of
the key things because that drives you
to think and think and think and make it
better and better and better
than you ever would if you’re doing it
for a company build things at first for
yourself that you would want if you’re
not coming up with ten ideas a day
that’s why I have this thing I’m not
coming up when I’m filling up this page
every single day then my idea muscle
will atrophy and I started this in 2001
and I still do it every single day like
you have to come up with ideas every
single day or the idea muscle atrophies
the good news is after about six months
of doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any you already know
who you are and that piece that piece
that we’re after lies somewhere beyond
personality your need for acceptance can
make you invisible in this world
don’t let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory
time be decisive I try and even if I
don’t know what the hell I’m doing I try
to be decisive because I think it’s very
comforting and reassuring and important
to the people that work with you to feel
that whoever is in charge knows what
they’re doing and knows what they’re
thinking and that if it’s a yes it’s a
yes and it’s a no it’s a no I mean I
don’t think of myself as a boss I mean I
I think of myself as someone who’s
giving direction and guidance and vice
versa went to Harvard and you’re dropped
out have you ever thought how your life
could be better off if you had gotten
your Harvard degree well I I’m a weird
dropout because I take college courses
all the time I love learning company
courses and things so I love being a
student and there were smart people
around and you know they fed you and
they gave you these nice grades that
made you feel smart so I I feel it was
unfortunate that I didn’t get to stay
there but I don’t think I missed any
knowledge because you know whatever I
needed to learn I would I was still in a
learning mode everybody thought we were
crazy we probably were crazy but having
a dream like that that resonates with
people changing the world achieving
something big it turns out that’s what
pulls you through the hard times every
company has a heart as hard times every
company has setbacks and it’s having
that that that mountain in the distance
that you’re trying to scale that is what
gets everybody through building really
great companies just takes a while and
it’s good to not try to do it too fast
it’s really really really good to be
but it’s not that great to be too hasty
it’s not necessarily about the the exit
or the outcome it’s it’s about the
journey so it’s for me it’s just I think
you just you just need to enjoy that
aspect of it it’s you know because it’s
not an always an easy ride it’s sort of
up ups and downs along the way but as
long as you’re personally fulfilled by
that experience and genuinely enjoy what
you do then it makes it worthwhile
somebody said to you you’ll have or
you’ll be as successful as you are now
what have you had said back then I
[Music]
believe you that’s what I would have
said because I they believed I believed
in I had very few people who told me
that I had a small small small group of
people that would tell me something like
that order than that it was just me
telling myself yeah so if someone came
up to me and told me that all the way
when you start with a your company
you’re gonna have a lot of anxiety and
stress and fear and your job is to
transform that into self-confidence and
to give you kind of that you know the
ability to say I have clarity I trust
myself I have a feeling for my vision I
can see that happening I work with
entrepreneurs all the time that kind of
shift from you know anxiety to trust
that’s the most important thing that
they can go through be lucky I think
when I give that advice be lucky it’s a
little bit glib but I think there’s also
looking out for those opportunities and
being conscious and being aware and
looking for opportunities to be lucky
because you can definitely put yourself
in a position where luck isn’t gonna
make any difference you’re really trying
to solve a new problem in a different
way you have to come to problems with
beginner’s mind right not knowing
something can be a very powerful tool in
to accomplishing it because you don’t
know that it’s not possible that’s what
doing a start-up is not realizing that
something is impossible and doing it
anyway
so many things go wrong when you’re
starting a company and often I think
people ask you know what mistakes should
you avoid making and you know my answer
the question is don’t even bother trying
to avoid mistakes because you’re gonna
make tons of mistakes right and the the
important thing is actually learning
quickly from whatever mistakes you make
and not giving up right and I mean there
are things every single year of
Facebook’s existence that could have
killed us or made it so that it just
seemed like moving forward and making a
lot of progress just seemed intractable
but you just kind of bounce back and you
learn and nothing is impossible you just
have to kind of keep running through the
walls from the time I was seven years
old every Saturday I would go for four
hours of acting class every Saturday
whoa and I
I just left until the point where all
the kids graduated and went on to the
other stuff and I started doing adult
acting classes and then I was in the
commercial classes and then I loved like
the hair and makeup classes and just
everything I just couldn’t go enough and
you know what everybody wants to hear
what they already believe to be true and
so the last thing that we want to hear
is an original idea that contradicts
their belief system so it’s very hard to
even bring that kind of stuff up but
those are the things those are the only
things things that you believe that
everybody around you doesn’t believe
when you’re right that create real value
in the world everything else people
already know there’s no value created
it’s just business as usual so it’s so
important to think for yourself how do
you think about making a decision when
everyone tells you this is a crazy idea
where do you get the internal strength
to do that well first of all I’d say I
actually think I feel fair quite
strongly so it’s not as though I just
have the absence of fear I’ve I feel it
quite strongly but there are times when
if something is important enough you
believe in it enough that you do you do
it in spite of the fear so speaking of
important things like people shouldn’t
think III should think well I feel fear
about this and therefore I shouldn’t do
it it’s normal to be to feel fair like
you’d have to definitely something
mentally wrong you shouldn’t feel fair
so you just feel it and let the
importance of it anyway yeah you know
actually we’re something that can be
helpful as fatalism some degree if you
just think if you just accept the
probabilities then that diminishes fair
so we’re starting SpaceX I thought the
odds of success were less than 10% and I
just accepted that actually probably I
would just lose lose everything but that
maybe would make some progress if we
could just move the ball forward even if
we died maybe some other company could
pick up the baton and move and keep
moving it forward so that we still do
yeah say with Tesla I thought the odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low so just go and do it
try learn from it you know you’ll fail
at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who you may respect and
who you believe know what they’re
talking about don’t let them tell you it
can’t be done because often they will
tell you it can’t be done and it’s just
because they don’t have the courage to
try it Ben Graham and his low and his
low teens looked around and he looked at
the people he admired and he said you
know I want to be admired so why don’t I
just behave like them and they found
there was nothing impossible about
behaving like them and similarly he did
the same thing on the reverse side in
terms of getting rid of those qualities
one of the things I advise entrepreneurs
to do is when you have an idea a classic
entrepreneurial impulse is to hold the
idea close to you and not going to help
you because all the ideas so special
right that’s almost always a mistake go
talk to why is that a mistake
yeah it’s a mistake because your actual
real competitive advantage is not that
you have this idea that you have locked
away in your closet which may or may not
be accurate and you have no idea which
it is your actual competitive advantages
if you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in motion think
that’s what people always have to ask
themselves do you believe in the concept
of what you’re doing you believe that
there’s really there there you can
figure out the right you know product
package or the right way to reach users
if you believe that then you know he
keeps scrapping because usually there’s
a way like me have to do everything
three times before we get it right
thankfully I know that so I know that I
have to get up early and and try it five
times
because the eight year old will be able
to get past it in two times so I have to
be on my feet longer but at least I know
it and so I just go at stuff and it
served me very well and that my resume
is pretty varied and I have a pretty
interesting life you get to do different
stuff and have a bit of access because I
just said yeah I’ll try that I mean why
would I hold back soon as we I got off
the phone call with him and then also
when he said it’s not in the picture now
but we think I think it’d be great at
Dallas day
at the end and my heartbeat went up on
the phone and I started breaking the
cold sweat like oh no I thought that’s
not and as soon as I wouldn’t all no
that’s not that the other other devil in
my ear said dare you do and I just meant
of course I think it’s yes cuz I
immediately notice if you don’t you will
sit out dude are you kidding me you will
forever regret you have to so as soon as
that got over that I was like well
that’s inevitable I’m doing it mmm now I
gotta bust my ass to go do it the best I
can and a lot of fear that mmm I mean
that was yeah that was that was some
major really good anxiety and fear and
then now we’re saying now I’m saying by
that time now everything my choice is
from that phone call long work anything
I was nervous about you have to go no
don’t go all I go meet midnight yes can
y’all meet him for another Corey
choreographed session 8:00 a.m. Sunday
morning do you got an hour
I’m gonna go send the mirror my wife’s
over there watching reading something I
understand the mirror I’m gonna practice
a move this is really embarrassing well
too bad man do it in the mirror right
now because the less embarrassing that
gets hopefully the more comfortable
you’ll be when you’re out there in front
of 80 people ain’t let your cameras and
go all the way you know one way to
conceptualize what makes a good product
is you know good engineering is part of
it good design is part of it but really
it’s one way I think about is at least
is maximizing the probability that
someone shows up at the front door of
you know your store or your website or
or whatever it is and ends up with a
solved problem and oftentimes the best
methodology is to start with the perfect
experience of just one person get that
right and then forget how to scale
something great
instead of scales I mean not so great
and then trying to improve it that’s
really hard to do I’ve learned an
experience is
you know if you don’t open up and you
don’t delegate then you’ll kill yourself
and if there’s one thing I’ve managed to
understand is the art of delegation
because if I can pass on you know to
Claire Smith the area my palate my
understanding my knowledge then grab it
run it and then pass on to your team
don’t hold that inside so the most
important part of getting to a goal is
to start feeling it now is to start
acting as if right if you want to be
that leader if you want to be that
author if you want to be that painter
all it takes is one action and you truly
are in the process of becoming it so
it’s funny that I am literally basically
done with the book and I’m like can I
call myself an author yet I’ve written a
book of course because you have taken
the action you’re doing the actions
there is no final anointing of anyone
there’s no ceremony there’s no fireworks
you just start acting as if and feeling
it and envisioning it and picturing it
and soon enough you become it right so
everybody starts somewhere so whether
you are a famous ballerina or an Olympic
swimmer they all started somewhere they
all had to take that first class they
all had to take that first leap into the
water right and at what point can you
start calling yourself a swimmer a
dancer an author it’s the second that
you start taking action and you start
thinking it and you’re feeling it right
it’s about embodying it so my biggest
tip for you is to start seeing yourself
as that person and start taking the
small actions of being that person that
you want to be that’s the only thing
that is separating you from actually
being it so you have to act as if in
order to really start getting that ball
rolling and all of a sudden you are I
was with a bunch of other
who I respect and they brought me a deal
and I wanted to be part of it but it
didn’t feel right and I wrote millions
of dollars on that one and it just
didn’t feel right and I lost it all
within two years associate masters
Tristar that absolutely and trust you
well what about you said earlier don’t
be emotional and sometimes the gun know
this this is a barometer of risk it’s
something and internalized for an
investor that says I don’t feel
comfortable it’s not about emotion just
don’t write that check that was recently
the first time I didn’t listen to that
and I lost everything so now my radar is
up I listen to my gut it’s not an
emotion it’s an an index of risk and you
get it as you age you become a better
investor every year if only I could live
to 200 I’d be really good if you’re not
utilizing an online community then
you’re at a disadvantage to those who
are you can be asking online communities
what they think about your ideas or if
they have any advice with what you’re
working on not only will you hear from
people who are passionate about the
subject but you’ll be hearing from
people all around the world each with
their own experiences and stories that
can help you I looked at lots of
companies and why I thought they don’t
succeed over time we’ve had a more rapid
turnover of companies I said what did
they fundamentally do wrong and one of
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what does that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it that whatever you do somebody
can do it better you have to bring your
a-game in every single day there’s
nothing unique about any one individual
what’s unique is their passion their
ability to execute to meet targets and
exceed them the minute you lose that
ability in capitalism you’re gone it’s a
fair trade the engine that makes you
rich can take it all away from you there
are no guarantee
I think that’s incredibly important well
familiar me yeah visualize where you
want to be and what you want to
accomplish you kind of get lost in the
process of day-to-day you know grinding
it out working pulling on eyes if you
have to you know that this is just about
not losing vision and not losing sight
of what you’re what you’re trying to
accomplish no matter what hurdles you
have to go through so I think that kind
of relates to whatever you’re doing
whatever you know major you’ve chosen
what you’re interested in so for me and
basketball and it’s about you know
visualizing whether you write it down
and put it on the wall do something with
what your goals are and get lost in the
process of the day to day trying day to
day getting better every single day
asking questions aligning yourself with
people that have been through it before
that that are experienced and leaning on
that advice and just trying to outwork
the next person and that’s the biggest
thing has acting turned out to be all
that you wanted it to be it’s incredible
it’s incredible you know I I never knew
that I could do it as a career I never
knew I it was the first memory that I
had it’s the first thing I can think of
as saying I want to be an actor to my
parents and if I hadn’t lived in Los
Angeles and been in such close proximity
to sort of the mecca of moviemaking if I
didn’t have parents that said okay we’ll
drive you to auditions we didn’t have
the economic means to you know move camp
from Idaho to Los Angeles because some
snotty ten-year-old kids as a Latina
we did it after school I got to go on
auditions but it was always and I’ve
said this before it felt like an elite
group of people and it felt like I would
never belong to them so once I got the
opportunity to to for example get the
movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said wow now I’m able to not be
able to steer the course of my career I
might be able to have a career similar
to these guys that
you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know cuz it’s constantly
dissatisfied in other words so when we
see a kid with a lemonade stand it’s
different than when we see a vending
machine selling lemonade even if it’s
exactly the same product because the
story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re 2 percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world there’s
a lot of conventional wisdom out there
built up over time and built through all
the learnings from all the companies and
this may be fully applicable to most of
the companies out there but before it’s
applied to your organization I highly
recommend that you question it because
it could be absolutely fatal for your
success and so I think when you are
starting a new business you uh you don’t
want to go after giant markets you want
to go after small markets and you want
to take over those markets quickly what
this all comes down to is doing
something exceptional for your users
whether it’s in community and so it’s
not just about doing focus groups it’s
not just about you know double-checking
your vision it really is about
integrating this concept of testing our
ideas rigorously throughout the product
development process out the marketing
process even as we scale up the hardest
thing to do is start you have all these
ideas and everyone has an idea but it’s
really about executing the idea and
building the idea and attracting other
people to help you work on the idea that
is the biggest challenge but the way to
begin is
the idea out of your head draw it out
you know talk about it program it if
you’re a programmer or make it if you’re
building something and so when we’re
coming up with ideas you know we always
ask ourselves what kind of new market is
this creating and then also what what
part of my day and and what problem is
it solving and so I’ve gone as far as
taking an entire catalogue of my day
from the moment I like open my eyes and
writing down every single thing I do and
then asking myself like is there
something here a lot of times I’ll be
the tours at Mile Run or something like
that and I’m all jacked up bodies broken
mines broken spirits broken I started to
say what if I can pull this off when I
first walked into the Navy SEAL
recruiters office he looked at me and
said only been 35 african-americans and
70 years make it through you know I said
to myself what if I can be the 36 it’s
the what if I can pull off a miracle
what if I can become someone that no one
thinks I can be and just that just means
talking about that I have hair growing
up on my arms because it makes me just
like what if I can be that guy that
people who called nigger and this and
that and now I’m speaking at tom ferry
event compassion for yourself of course
it’s as important as compassion for
others when often I get asked questions
like people who did something that they
now realize realize was deeply wrong in
the past sometimes people ask questions
about they brought up their children in
a way that they now realize was not very
conscious and so that they may have
caused suffering to their children or
other people find they have caused
suffering to loved ones and they now
realize that what they did was wrong and
again I say this is an example where you
need to be compassionate with yourself
because no Bowman being can act beyond
their level of consciousness so that was
your level of consciousness at the time
and you could not go beyond that and
again here to make demands upon yourself
up to a point it might be a good thing
to be true if you as long as you enjoy
it it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this is something here that’s not
right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing
once you have passion anything that
you’re passionate about you can look at
other people other entities or other
things or works of art you can draw
things from it to help you be better at
what you
by looking for those common denominators
I don’t even know how do you I prepared
how do I prepare how do I study how do I
view the game how do you build your game
and my response is much like the way he
builds products and you think
sequentially oh yeah you look at this
the end result of what you want to
create but in order to create that
there’s so many other little things that
go into this massive entity that device
it’s no different than building my
basketball game you start with what do
you want your game to be what would make
your game most unstoppable or hard to
deal with and now you work backwards
from there and you start building it one
piece at a time one move at a time one
counter there’s a lot of similarities
there but what you really need to do is
think about what is the smallest
possible test that I can run for this
idea for this concept for this theory
get it out there and get customers using
it because your customers are gonna be
the ones to tell you if it’s really
working or not try to do something that
you would want to do anyway whether it’s
it doesn’t necessarily have to be a very
successful business because when you do
decide to become an entrepreneur and
start a business chances are it’s not
gonna
it’s not gonna become like a
multi-million dollar business so at
least do something that you love in the
beginning so that even if it fails you’d
still enjoy it I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming
what can I anticipate that other people
don’t see and then you must have the
courage of your convictions to execute
the strategy you want an idea about what
you can say I know it sounds like a bad
idea but here’s specifically why it’s
actually a great one you want to sound
crazy but you want to actually be right
because when you’re trying to
differentiate when you’re trying to do
something different there’s going to be
that gut moment that gut sense is this
right is this not right if you’re not if
you’re not having doubt you’re not
pushing the boundaries far enough the
definition of values is they’re the
behaviors or principles that you
religiously adhere to within your
company honor I say religious I mean
that no amount of data will sway you in
it from from those principles and the
degree to which that you have the
courage to maintain your conviction
around those ideas is the degree to
which you’re going to be successful over
the long term go talk to people who
failed at what you’re doing and who are
no longer doing it there always are
those people
so you started a start-up you know you
look at the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to
Sounders who have no idea the history of
their own space and there’s some night
there’s some nice naivete to that in the
sense that like you’re gonna do that
differently and
and there’s some truth to that but like
when you get down to to making it work
and now you’re into it already you’ve
kind of Salus what you’re doing and you
have some problems then I’d go talk to
all these people who failed because
you’ll uncover all sorts of interesting
things that you could try whether it’s
in connection or whether it’s in design
this is our big advantage as a start-up
is that we can actually get away with
doing this we can make this the core
part of why we’re doing business it’s so
hard I thought doing this research I
thought going into it there were
authentic people and inauthentic people
who I had I did not find any evidence of
that at all what I found is authenticity
to practice and you choose it every day
sometimes every hour of every day
and it’s a practice it’s not I just wake
up in ham authentic most startups that
fail do it ultimately because they did
not make something that people wanted
they made something that you know that
they thought people would want but they
were either in denial about it about you
know whether it was actually any good or
somebody else came on and made something
that people wanted even more so it’s
about this movement forward now what you
own not your education or your pedigree
not pile of resources you might have at
hand not your network just going after
this thing and knowing that as you do
that you’ll find what you need you’ll
make your way over around and through
and I think the best entrepreneurs that
I’ve met are able to do that because
they have this strong vision and they
know that it’s worth it to keep moving
forward larger more established entities
can’t move as quickly as you can and
success and scale and size all fight
against this and I would encourage you
for the longest possible time
as you sort of start your own companies to look for ways to stay agile
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