SUCCESS Motivation | Tom Bilyeu’s Top 50 Rules (@TomBilyeu)

the only credit I will give myself is
when other people break and give up and
stop
I just don’t the thing that gives you
the most energy in life is something
that you have no natural inclinations
for it then go learn that go get
extraordinary go become the best of
whatever it is you want to be but go
become the best of it and see how the
world opens to you need motivation watch
a top 10 with believe nation
what’s that believe nation it 7 my one
word is believe and I believe in you I
believe you have Michael Jordan level
talent add something and I want you to
find it embrace it and use it to make a
difference so let’s get your motivation
to attend and get you believing in you
grab a snack and chew in today’s lessons
from a man who went from being in a
morbidly obese family being dead broke
and being unable to pay his bills to
building a billion-dollar brain and
focusing his efforts on helping people
unlock their true potential and pulling
them out of the matrix
he’s tom bill you and here’s my take on
his top fifty rules for success also if
you want to hear what tom bill you and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building confidence check out
my 250 for confidence series where every
day for the next 254 days
i will send you a 30 second to
five-minute video or free to help you
build unstoppable confidence check out
the link in the description below
there’s a gap between who people are and
what they tell you they want to
accomplish because in the beginning i
hired everyone everyone right not
because i’m super smart and thought hey
I should there was no one else right
like we had the smallest handful of
people ever and so I started doing the
interviewing as I was doing it I started
realizing God these guys tell me they
want to do something amazing with their
life and if you just listen like wow
yeah like I want to be in your team dude
you’re gonna do amazing stuff and then
you realize they can’t execute on that
dream so if I can’t they they don’t have
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one my personal favorite believe when
you launched quest there were sixteen
hundred other protein bar companies that
launched in 2010 flavors or companies
are companies yep what gave you the
audacious mindset to think that you
could compete against all those plus the
ten twenty years of other nutrition
companies out there and beat them yeah
it’s I’m having any experience in this
yeah I’m gonna give you a phrase that I
play in my own head that I know and I
say out loud fifty percent of people
love and fifty percent of people hate me
for it but it’s true so hey here we go
I have the arrogance of belief I believe
in myself no I believe in one thing
about me I am NOT the smartest guy I got
a nine ninety on my SATs
I took it twice that’s my combined score
that’s bad for both of us
I was joking people a monkey smearing
feces on the test could score higher
than I did like it’s literally terrible
yeah but I always believed that I could
do whatever I set my mind to right so
that’s the only the only credit I will
give myself is when other people break
and give up and stop
I just don’t write and it comes down to
the story you tell yourself about
yourself and that’s the story I tell
myself it was just this last weekend I
was at an entrepreneurial organization
and they brought a world-class mountain
biker in and said hey anybody that wants
to go for a ride with her go and I
thought okay you know I’ll go and and
cuz she’s saying we can do a beginner
course whatever I thought was perfect
now jump on the bike go I’ve never been
on a mountain bike before ever in my
life I’ve been on a bike of any kind
probably in 15 years that was probably
stupid and we’re in God’s Sun Valley
Idaho so it’s not exactly flatland and
we go mountain biking and I’m dying I’m
just done it’s it like 6,000 feet first
of all so I can match my breath and I
keep stopping and everyone’s like yeah
you know you took hey man like go ahead
and turn back it’s all good it’s all
good
and I’m like I don’t think you know the
story I tell myself like there’s no
universe in which I stop
so I keep going finally they’ve done the
loop right some people have turned back
whatever they’ve done the loop and now
they’re coming back and they’re passing
me I’m still headed out and they’re like
you need to turn around and I’m like I’m
so sorry but I’m not gonna turn around
and they said okay but then we’re no
longer responsible for you and I was
like okay I like it is what it is man I
appreciate that no worries I’m a big boy
like go and I just kept going and I must
have come in an hour and twenty minutes
or something after everybody else but I
finished and that meant so much to me I
was like I’m gonna ignore the fact I got
my ass handed to me I came in dead last
yeah yeah but I’m gonna be proud that I
didn’t quit interesting did you say
arrogance of belief is that we say
arrogance have believed rule number two
find your mission now if you don’t know
this quote live by it one can have no
smaller or greater mastery the mastery
over oneself that’s da Vinci da Vinci
did amazing things with his life I
wanted to do equally amazing things with
mine and if that’s the game that we’re
playing if I can construct my belief
system if I can choose at any moment to
believe something that’s more empowering
than I was believing the moment before
and that that will actually find its way
into my actions allow me to do things
that I couldn’t do the moment before
then it’s like that moment in the matrix
where neo realizes he knows kung-fu and
that’s like as funny as that is that’s
how I think about life to me the very
fundamental purpose of life is to find
out how many skills I can acquire that
have utility and then put that utility
to the test in service of something
greater than myself
how many skills can I acquire that have
utility put that utility to the test in
service of something greater than myself
that is for me the purpose of life now I
don’t actually want to know kung-fu that
is not the mission that I’m here to live
but I knew that I had to identify my
mission so what was going to be my
mission mother Theresa is an amazing
quote nobody will act for the many
but people will act for the one and that
really struck me because I realized they
were right I was looking at this global
pandemic of ill health and I wasn’t
moving into action but thinking about my
mom and my sister or the uncle I had who
ate himself to death when I was 12 years
old that made me want to act rule number
three used the darkness can you describe
what you mean by going into the darkness
I can alright so going into the darkness
I think everybody is motivated by two
different things one you have the
beautiful things in your life the things
that are going well the things that
you’re grateful for the things you’re
moving towards instead of a way you have
a compelling vision of your future it’s
something that you’re very excited about
all of those things are the beautiful
things now the flip side of that
equation are the things that it’s people
that doubt you its haters it’s things
you’re moving away from its fear-based
things it’s something that you
absolutely refuse to let happen so one
that is incredibly potent to me are the
people that want to see me fail so it’s
very different than people who just
think you’re going to fail I actually
don’t have a lot of aggression towards
people like that but people that want me
to fail those people I have a lot of
aggression for and I find in very acute
moments the darkness serves you better
in very acute moments now the light the
things you’re moving towards the things
that are beautiful the things that
you’re grateful for all of that is the
only winning strategy long-term because
the darkness becomes corrosive you start
to become bitter you start to be angry
you stop being optimistic you stop
seeing things in a way that’s empowering
and positive and I mean just thinking
about the deep limbic system when it
gets inflamed you perceive things as
negative
I think negativity stops people from
making progress there’s a whole host of
neurological reasons and the sort of
mindset reasons why I think that being
negative over the long run becomes very
very detrimental and hold you back but
from an acute standpoint
they’ve done Studies on this if you want
someone to be able to endure more pain
the surest way to get people to endure
more pain is to let them get angry let
them be aggressive and in doing that
people are able to withstand in the
clinical trials I’ll say that’s probably
more than this but in clinical trials
they’re able to withstand 30% more pain
so just straight being able to take more
pain anger and aggression lets you do
30% more so that’s why I think in acute
ways and short-term bursts that the
darkness will serve you remember for
adopt a growth mindset there’s a gap
between who people are and what they
tell you they want to accomplish because
in the beginning I hired everyone
everyone right not because I’m super
smart and thought hey I should there was
no one else right like we had the
smallest handful of people ever and so I
started doing the interviewing as I was
doing it I started realizing God these
guys tell me they want to do something
amazing with their life and if you just
listen like wow yeah like I want to be
in your team dude you’re gonna do
amazing stuff and then you realize I
can’t execute on that dream so if I
can’t they they don’t have the mindset
yet like there’s you could do an entire
podcast series on how to get the mindset
but I’ll just use Carol Dweck and her
amazing voting mindset as I’m sure such
a good book I see Simon’s the neck up
there who is also very influential in us
and she says some people either believe
they’re smart is there ever gonna be and
that’s that so they’re gonna be ego
protective and they’re gonna you know
try to thwart anything that makes them
feel like they’re not the smartest
person or whatever and then there’s
people with a growth mindset and they
realize I’m not the smartest person and
I’m certainly not as smart as I could be
yeah so even if I am the smartest person
ever lived I could get a little bit
smarter and so when they’re confronted
with contradictory information they
learn and they soak it up like well
whereas other people are fixed mindset
right correct it’s done like no this is
the way and I’m writing that’s wrong yes
and I would say the world everyone’s on
a spectrum right even I as much as I
believe in it and work my ass off to be
a growth mindset
I still have let’s call it 10% where I
catch myself in like
come on dude you know better than that
yeah but so people that fall unless they
sub 50% spectrum of the growth mindset
it’s got to be 98 percent rule number
five get better and I remember this was
a piece of advice that my father-in-law
gave me that I promptly ignored and
don’t worry I’ve since apologized to him
and very much adopted this mentality but
he said the most important thing in
business is to know more about the topic
than anybody else in the room and if you
don’t see an echo of that in my
preparation for the interviews and I’m
not doing a good job of explaining it
that was something that when he said it
I am so sad to report that it did not
hit me but for whatever weird reason it
really stuck with me and it was one of
those things that I thought about and
thought about and thought about and then
it finally manifested itself and me
realizing that to get good at anything
whether that’s business whether that’s
interviewing it really is that level of
preparation it is about going above and
beyond to get good at something and I’m
thinking about this last night at the
event and there’s always like a thousand
questions that I get asked about how you
build a business you know whatever your
dream is how do you go and actually
manifest it and the honest answer to
everything is get better get better and
I’ve had really talented artists begin
reaching out to me on Instagram because
obviously that’s a huge focus for us in
the next phase is going to be getting
writers getting artists bringing them
together creating amazing comic books in
phase one and they’ll have like a really
small following and they’ll say you know
like what what am I doing wrong what’s
the secret and the truth is even though
they’re really good they’ve got to get a
lot better and when you can be
world-class but admit that you’re not
yet undeniable cuz there’s unfortunately
a lot of people that are world-class
like think about it you make a deal at
Olympics your whole life you’ve been
busting your ass you finally make it
you’re one of the best in your country
truly a world-class player but you come
in 7th 8th it’s you haven’t gotten to
the point where you’re so good that you
can’t be ignored and that like in
today’s world where social media
rules everything and anyone can get on
there create noise you’ve got to find a
way to cut through the clutter and the
way to cut through the clutter one of
there’s more and I will recommend
perennial seller by our boy Ryan holiday
really interesting book really excited I
think we’ve booked him for like November
that’ll be a lot of fun but is in his
book he talks about several of the other
things you’re gonna do but I’ll say that
the most important one is to get so good
that you cannot be ignored cannot be
ignored so if you’re being ignored by
the way the world has told you that
you’ve not yet gotten to where you want
to get to so everybody knows my
obsession with Disney read the Disney
biography in times of trouble Disney
always came back round to make the
product better make the product better
rule number six execute only execution
matters burn that into your nervous
system get a tattoo do whatever you need
to do to remind yourself only execution
matters thinking about it feeling good
about it those are awesome but if you
have a vision of something you’re trying
to do become whatever and you don’t
execute against it I don’t need you to
want to bail build a big business if you
tell me you want to be the greatest
parent of all time then I’m gonna ask
you what are you doing to execute on
that goal what are you doing how do you
define it
what are your deliverables what are the
metrics by which you’re judging yourself
and by the way if you don’t want a grand
goal you don’t need one but then say
what I’m trying to do is get centered
I’m trying to experience happiness even
that you can begin to look at ways that
you can improve that rule number seven
don’t fear pain your talent and
intelligence are not fixed they’re
malleable so you suck at skateboarding
because you’re afraid of pain so the
only thing you need to know right now
the point is not to avoid the pain and
you need to stop asking yourself what’s
the least you can do to get good and you
need to start asking yourself what’s the
most you can bear to become great once
you understand the whole point is to let
the suffering and the pain harden you
into becoming the version of yourself
that you need to become in order to
execute at the highest level to be
world-class at anything and stop
avoiding it stop being afraid of it and
start understanding
what it really is which is the thing
that shapes you so my entire youth
I feared pain I moved away from pain if
something was emotionally or physically
difficult I avoided it and I remember
being in the gym one day and going will
you stop asking like what’s the least
you need to do to consider it a full
week workout because it was like could I
stop now could I stop now could I stop
now and I was like do you want the
muscles or do you want to like put on a
show that you showed up like you showed
up right like cuz the muscles demand
what the muscles demand like you have to
break them down you have to push you
have to do more like so it is purely a
question of how much you’re willing to
bear because there’s never gonna be
enough you could have always done more
rule number eight have self-compassion
everybody lean in nice and close
self-compassion it’s probably the most
important thing that you can do for
yourself is when you pick up you need to
forgive yourself okay so that’s really
really important so and I’ll walk you
through an example about whatever 20
minutes ago I get really frustrated when
people are trying to tell me something
but they’re whispering that redlines me
in a way that I can’t even begin to tell
you and so it just happened while I’m
here live on camera and I hold myself to
a standard of catching my emotions
before they rise up now this has
happened twice today the first time it
happened I caught myself
yay the second time it happened I was
like for real we’re doing this again and
I got very frustrated so I was very
disappointed in myself for that I need
to be compassionate towards myself
forgive myself for that get better use
it as practice and remember that life is
in performance it really is about
practice so once you can meet yourself
with compassion then you can begin to
let go of whatever it is that’s really
with your mindset you can get back on
track you can refocus and don’t wait
till Monday and that’s a mistake that
everybody makes so if you fall off the
wagon like $5.00 off the wagon at 9:58
at 9:59 I’m back on the wagon so I’m not
waiting even for a 10 o’clock like you
literally do it right there at that
moment make it a part of your identity
the year that’s that person that does
that so that is really really critical
rule number 9 change your identity right
now between me and the person I want to
be between you and the
person you want to be there is a gap of
skillset and that’s it but once you know
your mission and once you believe that
you can accomplish anything you set your
mind to then you can do the
extraordinary now for me getting out of
that space of being lost of not knowing
what I wanted to do with my life it all
came down to needing to earn credibility
with myself in very small incremental
ways this is me sixty pounds ago and I
knew if I was going to accomplish
anything in my life I was going to have
to get control of my mind now ironically
there’s two ways to get control of your
mind way number one is directly going to
the mind which can be very scary can be
very daunting very ethereal
it’s a ephemeral it’s hard to grab on to
it’s hard to touch but way number two is
through the body and so I decided that
my kung-fu was going to be to get very
good at developing my body and in that
process I was going to learn about
nutrition which would allow me to help
my mom and my sister in that process I
was going to earn credibility with
myself and earning credibility with
yourself is so important do it in micro
ways for me just showing up to the gym
every day was a micro victory I said I
was going to do it and I did it now you
have to understand I hate working out so
for all of you crazy people that get an
endorphin rush from running I hate you
all running through me is like being
stuffed into a meat grinder there is
absolutely nothing pleasurable about it
whatsoever
so whatever neurological thing you guys
get that you’ve been blessed with I have
not been blessed with that so for me
showing up in the gym sucks eating a
bowl of ice cream is awesome and so
getting to getting to a better place for
me was a totally different journey thank
and what that was was just showing up
every day and putting in the work it was
reading about human metabolism and
understanding how what I eat impacts my
body it was earning a little bit of
discipline every day knowing that well I
did it yesterday I can do it again today
it was not eating something that I
wanted to eat and most importantly and
if you’re taking notes write this down
it was about changing my identity
because at the end of the day identity
identity and values drive behavior so if
you want to make a change you have to
change your vision of who you are you
have to begin telling yourself a
different narrative and the narrative
you tell yourself about yourself is
everything and if you tell yourself that
you’re a scared under educated kid from
Tacoma whose family has never
accomplished anything let me tell you
what you will become a scared under
educated kid from Tacoma who never
accomplishes anything because that’s
what you believe you tell yourself that
story enough and it will become real but
on the flip side you could tell yourself
a story of you’re a learner you learn
faster than most people you’re willing
to put in more work than most people
you’re willing to read more books than
most people you’re willing to spend an
inhuman amount of time every day
improving your mind simply by getting
new ideas into the system and that you
will admit that you’re wrong faster than
anybody else that you won’t let your ego
get in the way and you tell yourself
that story over and over and over so
when somebody comes and tells you how
stupid you are that you’re just a dumb
kid from Tacoma you go you’re right
that’s amazing thank you for pointing
out that flaw because now that I’m aware
of it I can improve it because I’m the
learner and once I switched my narrative
to being the learner it didn’t matter
where I started it only mattered where I
was trying to go and as long as I had
that clarity then I could execute
because I believed I could do anything I
set my mind to without limitation rule
number ten don’t be a victim and then
the last one which is maybe a little bit
controversial because I use this word to
get people’s attention
it’s all your fault that what I mean by
that is you always can control the
outcome of anything so the example I
give to people do it do I have time to
give you a horse okay so the example I
give to people and this is something
that I do in the interview a lot so that
people understand how we think a quest
and if they think it’s crazy I tell them
if you think this story is crazy you
should turn and run in the opposite
direction you will hate it here
but if in hearing like oh my god I want
to be around people who think like that
then you’ll get us after hearing this
story goes like this my wife is British
that’s actually true let’s say that she
was at home visiting her family in
London she’s in the bed that she grew up
in the doors are locked the alarms on
her mom’s there she’s safe and sound
right at that moment a meteorite comes
screaming through the atmosphere crashes
into her bedroom and kills her whose
fault is that now every time I asked
that question once people stopped trying
to guess of what they think I’m gonna
say and they just give their answer they
say it’s nobody’s fault divine
providence fate force majeure dumb blind
luck however you want to sum it up but
that and my answer is no it’s entirely
my fault and the reason it’s my fault is
because I know that there’s a group
right now the track what are called
near-earth objects that’s very true by
the way they’re trying to find some way
to knock them off course so if it could
be something truly dangerous so whether
it’s a laser beam a planted nuclear
explosion whatever it is something to
bump it off course it doesn’t collide
with earth I’ve never sent them an email
with encouraging words I’ve never sent
them a dime on my money I’ve never
called them up to give them any ideas
nothing and I know they exist now I
think that’s smart because the
likelihood of my wife being killed by a
meteorite is very very low I’d be much
better off focusing on car safety or
something like that but I choose not to
contact these people I choose to leave
my wife at risk of being hit by a
meteorite sure so even though I would be
mortified and sad if it happened I would
never waste time saying that it wasn’t
my fault because I could have done
something and I chose not to yeah that
to me is empowering that don’t want
people feeling guilty about it you
shouldn’t waste like I wrote an article
about this one time people like y’all
you’re you’re blaming the victim and all
that stuff and what I’m
to say is you don’t have to allow
yourself to be a victim even if you’ve
been victimized right like you can
transcend that and you can look back and
go what could I have done differently oh
my gosh I could have done all these
things awesome I’m now in control again
yeah right cuz being victimized is
inevitable but being a victim that’s a
choice right it’s like pain is
inevitable sufferings a choice yeah yeah
so once I freed myself from the belief
that I couldn’t break out of certain
things like everyone told me ah dude
your mom and your sister like they’ve
got to want it people kept saying that
they’ve gotta want it they’ve got to
want to change and I was like I reject
that because they’re gonna die like they
clearly don’t want it so but I’m not
willing to accept that I’m gonna lose
these people who I love so much I’m not
willing to accept that so I’m gonna
acknowledge the human condition which is
that they eat for pleasure and not for
sustenance so I’m gonna give him food
that they can eat for pleasure that’s
good for them yeah my sister’s lost 120
pounds so it works right and my sister
owns that like she did excuse me she did
the hard work like she put the grinder
she should be super proud of herself but
at the end of the day the it was born of
me not accepting that she you know that
I had to wait for her to make that
responsibility yeah exactly yeah
so just paint that – any area of your
life whether it’s you want success it’s
not happening as your boss or whatever
no your boss may be it but you haven’t
learned how to persuade to do what you
want right right right which is how I
think which is why I say I want to be a
Jedi because I want to be able to
persuade people to do things so that I
can move the ball forward on the big
goals that I want to accomplish and yeah
just own it you can always change
something rule number 11 pursue
greatness relentlessly greatness is the
most demanding mistress you’re ever
going to encounter and I understand the
advice that I’m about to give you is not
for everyone most people should turn
this off but if you’re gonna stick with
me if you’re going to listen to what I
have to say it’s because you want
something tremendous in your life you
want to stand out from everyone else you
want to do something more than other
people think as possible you literally
want to stand outside the norm and if
that’s the case for you then understand
that as Albert Einstein said only one
who devotes himself to a cause with his
whole strength and soul can be a true
master
for this reason mastery demands all of a
person if you want to get great if you
really want to make a skill set your own
if you want to be able to do something
and at the end of the day if you want to
transform the world if you want to make
grand changes if you want to do all of
that all the empty words that people
spell all the time
let me tell you the only thing that’s
going to separate you from all the other
blowhards who are just talking words and
will never do anything is to give
yourself over completely to let that
obsession let that thing that you love
completely consume you and in that your
only chance to really become great lies
rule number 12 you can learn anything
the only thing you have to believe in
leaned close here my words the only
thing you have to believe in right now
is that humans are capable of learning
that humans for whatever reason
Nature has chosen to not endow us with a
whole bunch of like pre-programmed
things so for instance a baby horse a
full I believe is how you say that when
they’re born they can already walk
literally boom they come out and they’re
walking and all as well because that’s
all hardwired into them but a horse is a
horse is a horse and they’re gonna stay
a horse and that’s that and you’re never
gonna find a horse reading Chaucer just
not gonna happen
so that’s all those decisions are
pre-wired humans on the other hand come
out they cannot take care of themselves
they’re a lump of flesh they basically
know how to suckle and that’s sort of
the extent of it but now humans have the
ability to go in all these crazy
different directions and they can learn
to become an astrophysicist they can
learn to become
carpenter a doctor an astronaut like the
number of directions that humans can go
in is crazy the amount of what was once
known as junk DNA we now know as
epigenetic signaling the way that we can
respond in all these different
directions to our environment to the
things we choose to focus our energies
on is is truly unique to humans is just
absolutely astonishing so understanding
that that’s baked into the human animal
is the ability to learn and go in any
direction so once you realize that
humans are adaptation machines that we
can learn anything now it’s like okay
whatever you want to do you can do it as
long as you’re willing to pay that price
I’m not saying that it’s not gonna be
hard it is gonna be very very hard I’m
just saying that it is doable and that
you will receive a return on investment
in your energies and that’s what people
need to know and believe to the core of
their being that my time in this
direction will be rewarded now here’s
where people themselves up there is this
retarded debate about whether or not it
is hey am i pre-programmed I’m good at
math and so that’s it and I should go do
things that are math where I’m good at
verbal and I should go do things that
are verbal I’ve naturally gifted as an
athlete so I should go be an athlete
look I’m not saying people don’t get our
wins people get early wins and if you
happen to love the thing you’re getting
early wins and that’s awesome man and
you will find it just a little bit
easier you’ve got a head wind or a tail
wind I guess a tail wind you have a tail
wind and so that yeah love that but if
they’re the thing that gives you the
most energy in life is something that
you have no natural inclinations for it
then go learn that when I say that I
have zero zero natural ability as an
entrepreneur I mean zero I had to learn
everything from not being lazy to
problem solving to overcoming my
paralyzing fear to look at world like a
puzzle dealing with anxiety literally it
it was comical as I was going down my
journey in the beginning as an
entrepreneur to figure this out
it’s ridiculous and then I meet people
who are like ripping flowers out of
people’s front yards and selling them
back to them like when I say that that
was not
me I had a paper route and I was so
chicken to go up to people’s doors that
I actually only got half the money that
I could have gotten for the same paper
route the same amount of effort but
because I was so afraid to go knock on
people’s doors and ask to collect the
money that was do that for like two
years I did a paper out for half the
money okay that’s how spastic of an
entrepreneur I was when I started so you
can learn this stuff now my goals
demanded that I learn entrepreneurship
so I learned it so that’s what I want
people to understand what is your goal
work backwards from there if it lines up
with what you’re naturally good at
that’s amazing and congratulations but
they’re gonna be times where it doesn’t
line up and you’ve just got a either
change your goal or recognize that I’m
gonna have to figure these things out
and because I’m an adaptation machine as
a human being I can do all of that rule
number 13 don’t care what others think
any advice for somebody who is taking
steps to make a positive change but he
is getting all kinds of negative
consequences for bad decisions he took
in the past at some point in fact I’ll
just quote loud sued the guy that wrote
the daodejing
he said if you worry about whether the
other people think about you you will
always be their prisoner so unless
you’re prepared to be other people’s
prisoners at some point if they are
hurling dirt on you if they’re
constantly trying to Ribery you under
the earth that you’re trying to claw
your way out from then you’re never
gonna get out you’ve got to just stop
worrying about what they think so they
can’t actually affect you they can only
try to influence your mindset so and
even even now if people hate you slings
and arrows you could get a job digitally
you could go be a freelancer on up work
or whatever people don’t even have to
know who you are so truly in today’s
world they are not gonna be able to stop
you from getting a job but they can
really mess with your head but only if
you let them so I will say to that do
not let them you’ve got to understand
who you’re trying to become believe in
your ability to get there to become that
person to understand that to continue to
beat yourself up for something in the
past is not going to serve you and so
for that very reason let it go
rule number 14
be laser-focused this question is from
Phroso mara new on youtube when your
home life is less than desirable it’s
not where you want to be living but
you’re trying to break out how do you
not let the chaos around you affect your
vision and drive so this is a framing
question so what you want to do and this
this Tony Robbins asks this question I
think it’s absolutely brilliant how is
the worst thing that ever happened to me
the best thing that ever happened to me
so in your circumstance how is being in
a chaotic home life the best thing ever
now give you one example off the top my
head and this is exactly why I play
first-person shooters can you learn to
stay calm in the chaos because my friend
have the chills if you can do that it
will serve you so well in every single
area of your life in a relationship in
business if you want to be an athlete if
you want to play games like what ever it
is that you do one of the things that
you’re gonna have to become great at is
letting all of the noise drift away into
nothing and getting into laser focus on
that thing that you’re working on now
when I give advice like that to people
they think well how do I practice the
amazing news is the best thing that has
ever happened to you is that you have a
built-in way to do that your home life
is mass chaos so now you get a chance to
practice I have the chills you get a
chance to practice every day tuning out
the chaos and getting laser focused on
something that’s framing now there are
other ways but that one is so powerful
that I will end it there focus on that
it is practice practice every day thank
god you’re living in this chaotic
environment man congratulations
rule number 15 build excitement this is
somewhere that I think a lot of people
get lost is they don’t spend any effort
making sure that the thing that they’re
doing with their life is actually
something that generates excitement it
builds excitement it gives to them more
than it takes now it doesn’t mean I’m
not exhausted at the end of my days I am
really tired but I am having a ball I’m
having a ball it’s
fun I believe in what I’m doing I’m
excited by what I’m doing and so that’s
where you should be spending the vast
majority of your times but that’s all
stuff about striving to do more to be
more I’m excited to acquire the skills
I’m excited to push myself it isn’t a
dark and dingy place like I’m
legitimately amped up to do it and
that’s what I want people to understand
like I’m the amount of hours that I work
the hard core way that I’m driven the
overwhelming majority of that energy
comes from a place of excitement it
comes from a place of being enthusiastic
about what I’m doing there is 20% it’s
the dark side I’ve leveraged it it is a
real thing for me and it helps me in
those acute moments when for whatever
reason the excitement just isn’t enough
at that moment then I will think about
the people who wish me ill then I will
think about the things that are dragging
me down then I will focus on the
inadequacies in my life and that I
demand that I get better at those things
100% but it’s an 80/20 split you’ve got
to learn balance that split you’ve got
to put something that you give a
about at the center of your life that is
so so so important rule number 16 learn
to praise and punish yourself
Andrew Kirby You Tube do you believe in
self punishment and if yes why I believe
in this ferociously this is advanced
class and I know that most people are
gonna have a seizure when they hear me
say this but if you don’t learn how to
effectively not destructively because
that’s where most people go they get
into an endless loop of self punishment
which is totally ineffective but if you
don’t learn to punish yourself you will
never get where you want to go now that
needs to pale in comparison to the
amount of time that you reward yourself
they need to earn that reward if you’re
just lavishing yourself with emotional
praise and you haven’t done anything
then I think that that will cheapen it
it will ultimately mean nothing and
quite frankly I don’t think you can
really been boozled yourself I don’t
think if you try to praise yourself for
stupid I think some part of you knows
you haven’t done anything to deserve
that praise but when you set a bar and
you meet that or exceed that to then
tell yourself hey you did it you said
you were gonna do it you did it and that
is worthy of praise and getting good
at praising yourself is incredibly
important and I think that most people
have a very hard time doing both most
people don’t know how to effectively
praise themselves they don’t know how to
get themselves first of all to do things
that are praiseworthy and then when they
do they don’t take the time to
emotionally reward themselves meaning
you actually to feel it it can’t just be
intellectual you’ve got to actually feel
that and the same of punishment if you
say you’re gonna do something even if
nobody’s watching and you don’t do it
then you need to emotionally punish
yourself none of you will ever know
whether I actually get out of bed in ten
minutes or less or not but I say I do
all the time but every time I miss it
even if I miss it by seconds I just gave
myself the chills even if I miss it by
seconds
I will punish myself for that because I
said I was gonna do it and I didn’t do
it so the fact that nobody’s watching is
utterly irrelevant to me it has
everything to do with myself
now the reason that this is important
the reason that I think that people need
to do this is because that’s how you
shape your behavior so like water over
time can create create the Grand Canyon
or you can take a polishing rock and
shape stones you can shape your
personality you can certainly shape your
identity and shape your behaviors if you
learn how to reward and punish yourself
I know a lot of people don’t want to
hear that that is the truth of the human
condition rule number 17 develop your
passion now here’s how you develop a
passion it starts as a minor area of
interest
you gain areas of interest by
encountering a lot of stuff so if you
have encountered a lot of things in your
life go out there and encounter stuff go
sailing go take a dance class go study
neuroscience like whatever it is just
encounter a whole bunch of very broad
diverse things from that you’re gonna
get sparks of interest like oh I
actually found that interesting I want
to learn more dive deep through
engagement not through pondering through
engagement you’re going to realize
whether something is going to turn into
an area fascination so as you go deeper
into it you’re gonna either become
fascinated or you’re not if you’re not
fascinated move on if you are fascinated
then
that’s an area where you gonna ask
yourself one very simple question do I
want to become the best in the world at
that thing if you do if you want to
become truly extraordinary in that thing
then go down the path of gaining mastery
now the reason I think that it’s wise to
ask that question going in is when you
frame it up I’m gonna become the best in
the world that this immediately people
understand the amount of time energy and
weight that it would take to become
truly great at that thing and I don’t
think that passion can happen unless
you’re becoming truly great at that
thing that’s part of passion I don’t
think people are deeply passionate about
something that they really suck at and
I’ll give you an example I love video
games I absolutely love playing
first-person shooters I learn a lot from
them I get a lot out of them
I really just intrinsically enjoy the
time it has both that sense of eating a
cake because it’s just fun in the moment
and it I pull from it life lessons
business lessons I practice getting out
of the sympathetic nervous system into
the parasympathetic nervous system it’s
literally gamified so I’m getting better
I have points I can you know have my
improvement turned into metrics it’s all
of it I really really enjoy but I won’t
say that I’m deeply passionate about it
I’m just not that good at it so it’s one
of those things if I really wanted to
develop a deep passion for video video
games and put it at the center of my
life that then I would set down that
path of really practicing now this is
like this is the most important thing
that passion will do for you which is
it’s gonna pull you through boredom it’s
gonna pull you through the hard times
and that’s why it’s really got to be
something that you just are prepared to
become great at because when you’re
prepared to become great there’s just
these insane moments of boredom
repetition and all of that and if you
have this burgeoning passion coming out
of that that’s what’s going to give you
the energy to get through it so it’s
this symbiotic relationship between a
developing passion and how hard it is to
actually really get great at something
so the things you get great at need to
be something that is this developing
passion so there you have it that’s how
you do it and then that’s why you do it
rule number 18 practice gratitude what
is the best way to truly experience
gratitude when you have a goal-oriented
mindset well I’ll give you just like raw
tactics so first of all I do this as a
part of my meditation routine
I try to experience gratitude both and
like the big things and in the small
things they’re not always tied to my
goal it is purely something to get the
neuro chemistry pumping in the right
direction to be in a good headspace to
really feel and internalize on a
visceral emotional level that sense of
like real deep fulfillment gratitude
appreciation for what you have going on
in your life so like I said I’ll pick
something big and I’ll pick something
small so it might be something like you
know I’m so grateful for 17 years with
my wife somebody that really understands
me that knows my pettiness knows my like
the dark ugly corners of my mind like
they know all of that and they still
love me and they they’re with me on this
journey and you know she picks me up and
brushes me off when I’m down I mean it’s
just like buta I’m literally slipping
into the mindset right now like I am so
grateful for that woman and by the way
that’s how easily it happens like you
start and this is exactly what I’m going
through in my head these are the exact
words that I’m thinking in my mind I
don’t say them out loud but I’m thinking
them in my mind which then creates this
neurochemical cascade and you find
yourself actually experiencing the
emotions of that gratitude then I will
pick something small let’s say take my
dog bonsai man
when he gets a haircut there’s some his
fur feels like velvet there it is
I loved about that dog just don’t know
when his hair is freshly cut super small
super stupid but I’m actually grateful
for it and it’s amazing so I might think
of something small like that I might
think of like whoa on a warm day like
that cool breeze is just amazing or air
conditioning air conditioning is amazing
let’s all take a second to just be
appreciative of air conditioning that
again literally as I’m talking about
this I’m actually feeling the gratitude
for these eight so it works just like
that rule number 19 meditate I have
found in the absolute worst times of my
life
meditation can get me back to zero every
single time meaning I have absolutely no
physiological remnants of stress or
anxiety it is so amazing and so powerful
that I only wish that I’d started doing
it years earlier and it was mark Devine
the Navy SEAL that I was talking about
before
that helped me realize because I thought
of it as very weak and effeminate which
growing up feeling like a weak
effeminate kid getting tough and getting
stronger has been a huge part of my
journey so I didn’t want to do anything
that I felt was moving me backwards now
he was one that slapped me around and
was like look it just makes sense it’s
getting you out of that sympathetic and
into the parasympathetic and so I
thought well if it’s good enough for a
Navy SEAL then it’s good enough for me I
tried it and it was life-changing and
there have been times in my life since I
started meditating honestly don’t know
how I would have made it through if I
didn’t have meditation because that
ability to get back to equilibrium to
zero with what I call no background
radiation it’s so powerful so meditation
has become a huge way for me to manage
anxiety which is really really powerful
so there it is and I will do one quick
cycle so you can see how deadly simple
it is I normally sit cross-legged so
take that for what it’s worth but I’ll
do it just normally seat it now I do it
with my eyes closed and I breathe in
through my nose out through my mouth and
hey hey there it is all right nice and
easy I did the second part of the cycle
so you could see how long that I usually
end up holding that exhale hold again I
just do it until it’s not pleasurable
anymore I don’t feel like I’m holding my
breath it literally just feels like an
exhale and it’s so weird even in that
short cycle I almost forgot I was doing
an AMA that’s how powerful meditation
has become for me I I get lost so
rapidly if I’d had this is the last
thing I do when I meditate I put
headphones on over the year headphones
and I listen to the call map I do not do
guided meditation some people love it I
absolutely hate it and I listen to the
sounds of nature and I find that
insanely powerful and if I had had my
headphones on I do fear that I actually
would have forgotten I was doing this
but that’s how quickly you can with
practice and I’ve been doing it now for
about three years with practice you can
get into a super chill state rule number
20 allow yourself to dream I never give
up on what you really want to do the
person with big dreams is more powerful
than the person with all the facts H
Jackson Browne truer words have never
been spoken it is one of the most
interesting things about the human
condition that all of the facts in the
world no matter how true something may
objectively really be the only thing
that matters is whether or not you’ve
got the energy to see through to the end
of what you want to do and the energy
comes not from truth the energy comes
from your dream the energy comes from
what it is that you want to do the
energy ultimately is born out of what
you want to create it’s born out of a
willingness to allow yourself to dream
it’s born out of a willingness to think
that you actually can do it it’s born
out of a willingness to take that first
step but the only reason that you’re
gonna take that first step is you
believe that you can actually make your
dreams come true and that sense of this
thing you
have in your mind that you can make it
real that you can bring it into the real
world and have that excitement you’ve
long fantasized about and understand and
really feel in your gut that that thing
that you’ve dreamed about can be real
and when you have that that’s when
you’re going to have the energy that you
need to push and to fight and to go
through all of the difficult things that
you’re gonna have to to get on the other
side and make that dream real as
Ferdinand Fox said the most powerful
weapon on earth is the human soul on
fire but the human soul can’t be on fire
without a dream a human soul is not fed
by facts a human soul is fed instead by
a belief that it can accomplish what it
wants to accomplish it’s fed by that
thing that idea that you found your mind
that you fan those flames of interest
and turned it into a real fascination
and fan those flames further into
excitement and allowed yourself to truly
embody that belief then you can make it
happen so
whatever it is whatever crazy dream you
have and we all have one stop judging
yourself board stop telling yourself
that you can’t do it and understand when
you cultivate that fire when you take
that little ember and you fan it into a
raging in front of the that thing that
human stole on fire is what’s going to
allow you to build some
that the world has never seen before but
it starts for that dream it starts with
your willingness to cultivate that to
think about it to allow yourself to do
that because so many people stop
themselves they think they’re inadequate
it’s not something that’s gonna help you
live a life that excites you it’s not
something that’s gonna help you excite
other people for one thing that will do
that is the dream so right now allow
yourself that simply to dream
rule number 21 go get extraordinary so
when I hear people where their reaction
is to be about a problem like let you
and I were talking you being Hispanic is
working against you Jason you being an
african-american it’s working against
you like you’re gonna have to go uphill
but now what you’re gonna sit and
complain about it because it won’t help
you right so if you have a goal it’s
like it does suck that women have to
work harder to get to the same place
that as a white male in America that I
have to get to but if it is true if
we’re all going to accept that it’s true
we can all sit there and go we need to
focus on the system’s fair enough and
I’m glad that some people do that the
other option though is to say well I
completely control me and the one thing
I will tell any human being alive right
now there is always room for the best
and once you’re able through your skills
that have utility to move somebody else
closer to their goal
you will become a hot commodity no
matter what no matter what okay think
about the scientists what were the
scientists after World War two right
before they were scientists for us they
were Nazis but we were way happy to let
go of that because they had crazy skills
that we needed right so really what it
comes down to is what are your skills
like if you’ve got skills that can be
used to build something beautiful to do
something wonderful to the world to help
people move towards their goals that
will excite the masses because they they
want that thing that you’re gonna create
that it’s going to improve people’s
lives but only thing that mattered in
all of that was you got really good at
something and somewhere along the way we
lost that the punchline is no matter
what you do to the system you you as an
individual need to get extraordinary at
something and so my encouragement to
people is go get extraordinary like
don’t worry about whether the system is
broken or not we built quest a
billion-dollar company in less than five
years coming out of the Great Recession
so more what was it in the Great
Depression more millionaires were
created in the Great Depression than any
other time in history it’s like it just
comes down to somebody goes honestly
this is how I react the system is too
big and complicated I’m too afraid to
try to get caught up and fixing that I’m
too big of a chicken there I just said
it I’m too big of a chicken to deal with
that but I can deal with myself I can go
get extraordinary right so focus on that
go get extraordinary go become the best
of whatever it is you want to be but go
become the best of it and see how the
world opens to you
rule number 22 become a goal-oriented
person I very much used to be task
oriented I’ve lovingly said that what my
parents imbued me with was a slave
mentality keep my head down do as little
work as possible and avoid punishment at
all costs that’s how I thought about
things certainly how I thought about
school it’s how I thought about a job
it’s how I thought about most of the
relationships in my life it was about
avoiding conflict it was not about
having a strong core beliefs it was
really getting by getting through life
like trying to you know get through the
week so that you can enjoy yourself in
the weekend and loved your family and I
don’t get me wrong they had really
amazing intentions and they wanted me to
enjoy my life but there were just things
that they saw is in a Lea but there were
you just couldn’t change them and so
that put me in just thinking about
whatever was right before me so oh I
need to get an A okay you know this is
what I’ll do to get my A and the grades
is a perfect example because the real
goal should have been learning it should
have been knowledge it should have been
me going hey the system doesn’t actually
really give me the things that I want
and so pushing back against that and
trying to figure out what I need to do
to actually educate myself but I didn’t
do that because the task before me was
get an A that’s just what you did in my
family you got good grades and so
cheating was a perfectly reasonable
solution to that now when I when
College I realized wait a second this is
supposedly the thing that I love most I
was studying film so if I really loved
this then why would I cheat if I’m going
to try to get a career out of this again
why would I cheat and if I’m taking on
massive amounts of college debt to learn
about this why would a cheat it doesn’t
make sense and so in that I switched
from that task-oriented mindset to
really thinking bigger about my goals
there were things in life that I wanted
to achieve that I wanted to accomplish
and I had to then reverse engineer what
I needed to do to get there rule number
23 go get lost hey Tom what’s your best
advice for someone just graduating from
college with no sense of direction and
no job go get lost go explore go do
things that interest you dive deep don’t
prematurely optimize so this is
something that I think is missing in
people’s lives today if you don’t know
what you want to pursue then don’t start
pursuing something with all your might
it is very okay to be dirt poor it is
very okay to be broke like in that early
period of your life your early 20s man
it is so okay to not be making a lot of
money as long as you’re able to eat and
you would be startled by how little
money that takes it’s okay go out
discover play bumble around do whatever
it takes to begin to discover the things
that really give you energy that will
serve you incredibly well because
feeling of live that’s the name of the
game rule number 24
chase fulfillment I become an owner in
the company through sweat equity the
company is worth the hide I think it was
work valued at like 22 million dollars
so on paper I’m a multimillionaire
my salaries higher than it’s ever been
in my life and now I’m completely
miserable and I’m like I’m living the
cliche of money can’t buy happiness and
I’m like this is a joke like this was so
predictable and so easy to see coming
how if I actually gotten caught in this
trap and I begin to realize that I
wasn’t pursuing things that gave me more
energy I was pursuing something that was
taking more energy than it was giving I
wasn’t pursuing something that I was
passionate about
and what I didn’t yet understand about
money is that money is in and of itself
it’s inert right nobody save for maybe
Scrooge McDuck and possibly Warren
Buffett like would actually get off on
swimming in their own money right so
it’s not the money
right when you talk to Warren Buffett
part of what drives them is it’s a
scorecard right he gets off on the
scorecard but if you don’t if that’s not
your thing and it’s not mine so I’m
building this business I’m learning all
these skills I’m coming in I’m working
my ass off I’m working seven days a week
I’m not taking days off I’m damaging my
relationship at home and all for what
money now the vast majority of my wealth
at the time was tied up in the equity of
the company which basically means you
have none right so most people don’t
even understand the difference between
paper money and liquid cash paper money
is not interesting like they’ll write
about it in Forbes magazine and kids
will come up to me freaking out because
they know my net worth is crazy high and
I’m like the only thing you should care
about is how much money do I have where
I can go now manifest something in the
real world build a business buy
something whatever and that’s a totally
different game so at that moment I’m
thinking this is total misery I want to
wake up every day and enjoy my life to
have more energy being given to me than
taken away and in that moment I realized
the game I’m playing isn’t money it’s
not success it’s brain chemistry and if
the game that I’m playing is brain
chemistry which I’ll say another way
deep and lasting fulfillment the thing
that as a human makes us feel good the
thing that we’re all secret deep down no
matter what you tell people you’re
chasing the thing you’re actually
chasing is fulfillment you want to feel
good about who you are you want to feel
good about your contributions you want
to feel good about meaning and purpose
in your life so those are the things
altum Utley the people are chasing they
think that money is going to give that
to them and that they’re wrong and
that’s how they keep getting caught off
guard now the reason that money is this
trap that everyone can tell you is a
trap and yet it will still capture you
is because money is real and it’s really
powerful and the things that money lets
you
do in your life is almost unimaginable
until you have money and I see now what
I’m doing
finally now having real liquid assets
that are significant you can guys think
for one second right now imagine closing
your eyes and thinking about that thing
you most want the thing you want to
build it’s something beautiful it’s
something you want to leave your
humanity I would just assume it isn’t
dumb like a car right it’s really
something it’s something you want to
build and give and it’s gonna be I don’t
think in legacy but like I get the
sentiment it’s gonna be your legacy it’s
gonna be that thing that outlasts you or
helps other people or offers jobs or
build something that we all want the
only thing stopping you from doing it
you’re gonna say it’s time but it’s not
time it’s money and that’s how money
gets people because once you know what
you want to build with it then it’s
really powerful but if you’re chasing
money in and of itself you’ll burn out I
promise you won’t enjoy your life
because you’re not thinking about that
end result rule number 25 go all-in
is it possible to fully grow into your
potential achieve your huge goals and
continue on that journey of the mind
whilst used whilst which I respect while
still enjoying getting drunk and
partying I didn’t see that coming or are
they completely mutually exclusive so
here’s what I think about that I am a
big believer that if you’re going
all-out you are grinding it out you
leave it on the field so I’m telling you
right now Monday through Friday if I am
awake I am working or working out period
in fact now these days I read while I’m
working out which I never did before him
we could do a whole episode on how I’ve
made that finally work but that process
one requires that you love what you’re
doing so let me just make that
abundantly clear I love what I’m reading
about I love what we’re trying to build
all of it just amazing it gives me more
energy than it takes away now once you
have that though really wanting to
actuate your potential and going after
it everyday and knowing I’m going to bed
now because I have left it all out on
the field and I’m telling you there are
times during the day where I’m like let
me just look at reddit for like five
minute
so I just like for five minutes I can’t
do it it’s so embedded in me to want to
be the person that I say out loud to
actually be internally that that’s when
I go and I start looking at Instagram
replying to comments doing research
whatever so doing that playing that hard
every day leads me to when I want to
stop and go shake my ass even if it’s a
random Tuesday I’ll go do that because I
know how hard I’ve played every day I
know how much I’m willing to bleed for
my goals so this is not about emotional
austerity this is not about grinding
yourself into into the dirt first of all
it’s doing something you love so that as
you’re grinding and going that hard it’s
something that you just want to do then
on the other side because you’re going
that hard that you just don’t have the
guilt that most people have when you
take time off and relax and chill so
when I’m working I am all the way in and
when I’m relaxing I’m all the way in
rule number 26 scan the opinions of
others our receptive should I be to the
opinions of others of me when I firmly
believe I’m doing the right thing for
myself so I think it is always good to
scan the opinions of other people even
when they are hostile even even when
they are overtly meant as an attack to
really look at that and say is there any
truth in this here’s a great news when
people attack you they almost always go
for something real it is very rare that
somebody tries to attack you for
something that isn’t real so really look
at that thing and figure out okay is
there some truth in here is there
something that I can address because if
they’re hitting you with something
that’s true and that if you fixed that
you’d be in a more powerful position
than is very wise to listen to the
opinions of other people having said
that you need to think more about
yourself
you need to trust your vision more than
you worry about what other people think
it’s gonna sting when people don’t like
what you’re doing or don’t believe in
you or whatever but at the end of the
day if you look at it and there’s truth
take the truth make an adjustment don’t
worry about anything else it’s just
that’s going to make you more powerful
if there’s no truth in it and it stings
then just let it go and focus on what it
is you’re trying to accomplish but at
the end of the day this is all being
driven by the goal so if something they
say can help you get the goal you’re
gonna take it if something they say
hurts but can’t help you reach your goal
you’re going to ignore it it’s that
simple rule number 27 find your mission
I grew up in a morbidly obese family so
for me it was I needed to have a mission
that was so big and so compelling that
it gave me energy that I could show up
every day and fight for people that I
could think about there’s an awesome
quote often attributed to Mother Teresa
that says nobody will act for the many
but people will act for the one so if
there’s someone you can picture someone
you know someone you love like you’ll go
to battle for them so I knew I’ll show
up every day and fight for my mom and my
sister and I know that they’re gonna die
too early if we can’t figure out how to
solve this problem of making food that
people want to eat tastes good and so
that became the mission of the company
was to end metabolic disease and to do
it by making food that people can choose
based on taste and it happens to be good
for them rule number 28 let go of your
past mistakes how do you completely
start over in life when your past
mistakes won’t let go of you all right
let’s be really clear you won’t let go
of your past mistakes that that is just
the gospel truth so you’ve got to work
at letting those go now the only thing
that I’ve found that works is the
following to understand that they don’t
move you towards your goals so for me
putting in not quite a bright line but
really taking the impact theory belief
system which by the way you can download
now by going to impact you recom signing
up for our newsletter which I kill
myself to make those newsletters amazing
so go there now and one of your
incentives for doing so is the 25 point
bullet belief system those are the 25
things you need to do to your mind to
make sure that you’re optimized for
success one of those things is we only
believe that which moves us towards our
goals now the reason that I put that
into my own lives because I found that I
would obsess over things that had
happened in the past either something
that happened to me or something that I
did and you get into this really weird
cycle that is absolutely obsessed
because of that it becomes hardwired
because of that it becomes easier to
think about because of that you think
about it more often it begins to just
occupy a lot of cycles and crowds out
your ability to get other things done so
I didn’t know how to break out of that
pattern because like you I thought it
was something that was happening to meet
rather than something that I could
control and so I had to flip it and
realize okay I’m in my life at the
absolute foundational layer of
everything that I do and believe I’m
going to make sure that it’s something
that moves me towards my goals
so if obsessing over the past moving
towards my goals I would do it but it
doesn’t and so I don’t that is the only
thing that I found that I have a belief
that is so powerful and all-encompassing
in my life that I should do what moves
me towards my goals that anything even
something that I would otherwise be
prone to obsessively return to I use
basically techniques from cognitive
behavioral therapy also known as CBT
where I will stop myself it doesn’t mean
that I’m not having those initial
thoughts but it means that I interrupt
those initial thoughts because it’s not
moving me towards my goal I move that
aside and then I go focus on the thing
that is going to move me towards my goal
which may be an empowering thought to
reframe that negative thing is something
positive to remind myself that I’m good
I’m worthy I’m whatever I need to do in
order to get moving and get going or
just ask myself have you learned from
that mistake and if you have then go
you’ve got the lesson move forward
nothing else matters
cycling through it isn’t going to help
so that is my advice it is very doable
cognitive behavioral therapy interrupt
those patterns make them habit loop
triggers for something empowering rule
number 29 think about yourself what you
think about yourself is the ultimate
goal it’s the ultimate thing it’s the
ultimate reward or punishment but what
you think about yourself is at the end
of the day the single most important
thing and so beginning to have a
relationship with yourself of sitting
quietly and this may be one of the
reasons that meditating is so important
that you can actually sit quietly think
about who you are now what you think
about yourself who you want to become
what price you’re willing to pay to get
there and then actually going down that
path to become that person that at the
end of the day is the thing that is
going to bring you happiness and
fulfillment but you really have to think
about who you want to become and to not
be trapped by your past but do that put
time and energy into thinking about what
do I want to think about myself and
quite honestly what do I think about
myself right now if you steer by that it
becomes very easy to ignore other people
rule number 30 being control of your
life and as Bruce Lee said if you always
put limits on everything you do physical
or anything else it will spread into
your work and into your life there are
no limits there are only plateaus and
you must not stay there you must go
beyond them even in the statement you
can see him making a choice about what
to believe by saying that there are no
limits by taking something that other
people perceive as a limit is something
that’s stopping him and saying that’s
not it’s a plateau it’s something that I
can push through and you see what he
holds himself accountable to
it’s not okay to stay at a plateau it’s
okay to have one everybody has them they
happen it’s a natural part of the course
of getting better but it is not okay to
stay there and that is a choice that’s
not something anyone can hand you it’s
something you have to believe to the
core of your soul that it is not okay to
stay in a plateau and it’s the back
that’s gonna push you through it’s that
that’s gonna make you get up and keep
going but first you have to recognize
that life is cause-and-effect you have
to recognize that that choice is a
knock-on effect you have to recognize
that him merely saying those words out
loud have a cause and effect
they changed the course of his life the
expectations that other people have of
him expectations that he has of himself
and because he understands that he can
control the outside world by first
controlling what’s inside by changing
his belief system to match what he wants
to accomplish he’s then able to
accomplish what he did in his life have
nothing to do with look it had
everything to do with the demands that
he made on himself it had to do with
winning he got in a motorcycle accident
people told him he would never walk
again not only did he walk again all of
the major accomplishments that we think
about him being that man they all came
after they came after he was told he was
never gonna walk it came after he was
told that he was never going to be able
to do martial arts but he did it he did
the grueling work of getting better he
understood cause and effect he
understood that if you chose to believe
that he could never do it that he’d
never be able to do it but that if he
chose to believe that by working out he
could get stronger and get better and
get back to
and that’s what he did so now ask
yourself is your life dictated by luck
or cause and effect
are you in control or is it somebody
else is someone else in control or is it
you
and if it’s you go build the life that
you want because there’s nothing
stopping you but you rule number 31 be
fulfilled by what you’re doing there
isn’t a better way to live your life
there’s no right way and wrong way there
is only the way that gives you more
energy there is only the way that gives
you fulfillment when you have those
things when you’re fulfilled by what
you’re doing and it’s giving you the
harder you pursue it it’s giving you
more energy you’re on the right path as
the Greeks would say say though say goal
of the Roma I can’t believe I mess that
up
say goal of the Roma which means you’re
on a good road and that’s what I want
people to understand like yes i pj r i
preach a very specific path but i don’t
think that it is a universal path and so
the only universal path is to do the
things that give you fulfillment and
energy so if spending time with your
friends gives you that then you should
be spending more time with your friends
if dating gives you that then you should
be dating so you don’t need to want to
be the best in the world of something
you don’t need to want to make a lot of
money you don’t need to want to be an
entrepreneur like all they’re literally
just stand-ins their proxies for
fulfilment and energy creation that’s it
so those are the punch lines of what’s
the meaning of life and all of that
stuff it is to do something that makes
you feel a deep sense of well-being
which I’ll call fulfillment and
something that gives you energy where
you’re literally excited to attack the
day rule number 32 optimize life for
yourself there’s no obligation to work
hard smart and long hours do whatever
you want that at the end of the day this
is all about neuro chemistry it’s about
feeling good about who you are it’s
about loving your life it’s about
fulfillment it’s it’s really just
enjoying this one chance that you get at
this life and so if when I say work hard
long and smart that doesn’t feel right
to you and you don’t want to do that by
all means don’t do that my whole thing
is if you want to be the best if you
want to play in a world stage if you
want to outperform if you want to get
extraordinary results the reality is if
you already know how to work hard and
smart then the last variable is long
hours now if you find that you’re
working so many hours that you click
into the point where it’s now working
backwards then then you
found the breaking point so you’ll
notice I prioritize sleep so I make sure
I get all the sleep that I need because
I know to perform optimally I have to do
that so if you’ve got some breaking
point where it’s not fun and you want to
go take a break and you’re you can tell
that you’re learning is slowing down
cool then you know that’s the time to
take a break I’m never bashful about
taking time off when I need it because I
know how hard I play leave it all out on
the field every day and because of that
when I need a break up take a break
do you like whatever feels right
whatever feels amazing that’s what you
should be doing so my work hard work
smart work long hours is all about that
thing that I value not everybody has to
value that rule number 33 prioritize
sleep
why do you prioritize sleep so highly
just curious of what makes you so
committed to that and the science behind
it thank you for all you do I find that
I’m slower when I’m fatigued so I find
myself drifting I have more symptoms of
what we’ll call eighty a DD so that my
attention is just drift drift drifts and
then I find I’ll read a sentence or
whatever and be like kind of to reread
the sentence like ten times so that was
just going whoa I’m not as efficient as
I could be and then the other is I find
it a unique form of misery there is an
additional ring of Hell that is saved
just for people who are fatigued I hate
it so much
so it’s misery and I don’t understand
people that live a life that is
miserable I just don’t get it
and then on top of that I think you
actually accomplish less if you’re
fatigued so you’re putting more hours
we’re actually getting less done per
hour so if being fatigued puts you at
like 0.6 of what your output could be
and then being just like incredibly well
rested prioritizing that puts you at you
know it’s I guess mathematically I
should be saying just one then like you
have to make up 40% of the number of
hours and waking up early just to break
even and then you put misery on top of
that so that that’s my end of one
experience is that I am so deadly
efficient when I’m rested
that I just get more done so comparing
those suicide by side I get I actually
accomplish more rule number 34 develop
grit hey Tom I’m 20 years old and I’ve
done some real soul-searching over the
past few years I am certain that I don’t
want the conventional life and I want to
do my own thing but whenever I start
something I quit because I find I’m not
really passionate about it enjoying it
but I fear I may not just want it bad
enough how do I differentiate between
being honest with myself and just pure
laziness Jodie this is an amazing
question first of all it is addressed
brilliantly by Duckworth Angela
Duckworth in the book grit but you guys
are gonna want to read that absolutely
phenomenal book and it breaks down how
it’s a very natural process to begin
something to be very excited and then as
you go down that process to realize yeah
I actually don’t like this it’s not
giving me as much energy as I thought of
what is taking energy away and therefore
I want to give up and quit that thing
and she said if you do that once or
twice like hey so be it but if you’re
doing it every time if you just love
that initial rush that excitement of
something new but the actual
nitty-gritty reality of getting good at
it of doing what Mitch you Kaku calls
having but power meaning you’ve set your
butt in the seat and you do the work if
that’s really your problem and nothing
is interesting enough for you to sit
there and do the work you haven’t
developed grit yet and so grit is the
ability to persevere to see things
through to go past the point at which it
has stopped being fun and it becomes
boring because you believe in your end
goal enough you’re excited by what
you’re trying to accomplish so much that
you’re willing to fight through all of
that difficulty you’re willing to fight
through the boredom you’re willing to
fight through the unease that arises
when you step outside your comfort zone
you’re doing things you’re not good at
and things that are boring those are the
two things that I find kill most people
they just cannot handle the things that
make them go oh god like I’m not very
good at this and I’m feeling really
badly about myself and they forget that
they can get good on a long enough
timeline and then too inevitably in any
pursuit of greatness in any endeavor
where you’re trying to gain mastery
you’re gonna get bored because practice
is repetition it’s doing something
over and over and over and over to
really train yourself to
get to the point where your truly
exceptional and there’s just so much
bored of inherent in that process so
building in the resilience to see all
that stuff through is the key part of
grit rule number 35 be goal-oriented as
Shakespeare noted there is nothing good
or bad but thinking makes it so
there’s nothing good or bad right
there’s just stimulus and then there’s
response things right but people think
that it is objectively a certain way so
now because they think it is an object
objectively a certain way they feel they
are supposed to react based on those
emotions that are getting kicked up in
their mind what I’m saying is absolutely
not
those emotions may not serve you they’re
certainly not aimed at moving you
towards your goal they’re jobs that keep
you alive plain and simple so that’s not
necessarily very helpful in a modern
context so if you want to always be
moving towards your goal you want to be
optimizing you’ve got to learn to get
control of your emotions you’ve got to
learn to understand to tell yourself a
narrative that isn’t predicated on
necessarily identifying what is
objectively true because I don’t think
that we experience the world that way
it’s identifying what’s going to work to
get me to my goal mm-hmm and that to me
like my whole thing is goal first
everything else works backwards from
that mm-hmm like starting from like the
grant strategy like identifying it and
then building the steps backwards to
reverse engineering essentially correct
rule number 36 deliver results do you
have advice on creating a better future
without a college education yes so
here’s the answer crystal you’re going
to as of right now this moment you’re
gonna focus entirely on one thing
getting so good you cannot be ignored
now what do I mean by that getting so
good that you deliver results deliver
results for yourself to deliver results
for other people I would just tell you
every business owner on the planet is
looking for people that can help them
grow their business that’s it they care
about one thing and one thing only can
you deliver results so the good news
here is you can always count on humans
to be selfish and I don’t mean that in a
bad way I mean they’re passionate about
the things that they’re passionate about
they’re trying to accomplish the things
they’re trying to accomplish and if you
can show how you can help with that
people are gonna want you no matter what
I don’t give a if you have a
college education like that is so
irrelevant to me a college education
merely tells me that you’ve been
formally trained it doesn’t
tell me if you’re actually good now on a
resume can be very powerful because I’ll
look at that in a shorthand I’ll say oh
like they probably are ahead of somebody
that doesn’t have those things but if
you’re out in the real world getting
results I’m all for that and let me tell
you how fast you can convey that with
something like if I’m like right now hey
everybody
by the way PS if you’re a director of
marketing we want to hear from you
especially if you understand content
marketing so I think most people in this
community know that Jarrod has moved up
to San Jose
I don’t do remote employees he’s chasing
his own thing that guy was amazing and
I’m super heartbroken that he left but
now we’re looking for somebody to
replace him with and what I look for is
I look for people that have done I don’t
I actually don’t even look at their
college education I don’t even scan that
far down in the resume I just want to
know what are you doing what have you
accomplished and like can you put
together a comp like what is the word
I’m looking a stroke uh-huh
comprehensive is in the word when I’m
gonna stick with it cohesive there we go
can you put together a cohesive coherent
resume which you’d be shocked how few
people actually can so put that together
maybe a super brief cover letter maybe
you hit them person up on social
whatever anyway it is really easy if
you’re actually good it’s really easy to
convince other people that you’re
actually good so focus all your time and
energy on actually getting good rule
number 37 believe in your potential how
do I get over my block of I am never
good enough especially when my
significant other has high expectations
but does not support me in reaching
those expectations okay so we have two
issues so first of all getting over your
block of I’m not good enough for me the
thing that absolutely destroyed all of
that is my unflagging belief in one
simple thing I can learn anything so I
may not be good at that thing now I may
really not be good enough like when I
think about building a studio to rival
Disney I’m not good enough yet there’s a
huge chasm and skill set between me and
Bob Iger and being able to do that I
fully understand that and I have to do
something different which has found this
create all the energy whereas Bob Iger
came in
wait I mean they’ve been in business for
like 75 years or something by the time
he came along so it is a really
intriguing skill set to be able to both
build and create something scale it and
then run it once it’s big so I know full
well that I am not yet the person that I
need to be in order to do that and so my
time and energy is spent in building
that skill set so I don’t freak out over
the fact that I’m not good enough that’s
very easy for me to admit I instead
spend my time thinking about how do i
acquire those skills in order to
actually become good enough so don’t let
your self-worth be tied up in that
notion of good enough humans are the
ultimate adaptation machine from that I
derive my sort of high level sense of
worth it hey every human being has worth
because they’re an ultimate adaptation
machine and they can become anything
they want that’s just really cool and
amazing and then also I just am deeply
compassionate for the human condition so
yeah regardless of where people fall on
that path of actually executing against
that potential I get it man being a
human is both beautiful amazing all this
potential and it’s really hard so have
compassion for yourself which i think is
incredibly important and know that this
is hard and then believe that you can
become anything that you set your mind
to and then just be honest with yourself
you don’t have to want to be the
greatest in the world so whether you let
somebody else apply those high standards
to you or not is completely your choice
just remember it’s a choice and you’re
not not great because you can’t be
you’re not great because you haven’t
applied yourself to that so that is the
key for me like understanding that my
life is an exact reflection of my
choices is entirely liberating so
remember your life is an exact
reflection of your choices if you want a
different result you simply need to make
a different choice
rule number 38 adopt a growth mindset a
fixed mindset somebody that has a fixed
mindset believes that their talent and
intelligence or fixed traits that
whatever you’re born with that’s it
those are gonna be that’s as good as
you’re ever gonna be and so hey make the
most of it somebody that has a growth
mindset realizes that that’s just you’re
starting off point and while we may not
all be equal from where our starting off
point is the human animal is literally
designed from the ground up to be able
to adapt
and so it begins to be a question of how
much are you willing to adapt what price
are you willing to pay to get great at
something
rule number 39 move towards your dreams
what if you’re happy with your job but
you don’t like the place it’s in and the
honest answer for me is I would leave
like I’m so held but like I know what I
want to do with my life
it is so clear to me that I just
wouldn’t let anything stop me and that’s
why I left Tacoma
I’d love to come up I was not unhappy in
Tacoma at all like people always think
I’d left for the weather or whatever I
didn’t I’d even think about the weather
as a kid it was oh I knew I left because
I wanted to be in a bigger city that had
more opportunity and that was it and so
I was moving towards something and I
think that there are two things that
motivate people moving away from
something
so oh I don’t want that to happen I
don’t want like take longevity I don’t
want to die that’s moving away from
something I want to live forever that’s
moving towards something so living
forever for me is about all the things
that I could do and all that so I’m
moving towards that I’m not moving away
from a fear of death so that here like
the only perspective I can give you is
that if I ever had a sense of like I
can’t go as far as I want to go in this
place I would be gone in a heartbeat
rule number 40 choose your reality as
friends kafka said you are free that is
why you are lost look around you
there are no guardrails on your life the
reality is that people have tried to
paint a picture for you that says that
there are certain things that are right
they’ve tried to paint a world for you
that has a path well laid for it for you
to follow go to school get good grades
get a degree get a job retire that’s the
plan that everybody wants you to believe
is really the plan but the reality is
that you are free to choose anything you
want the reality is that you can go in
any path that you want the
is that path is an illusion the truth of
life is you can go anywhere you want you
can be anything that you want you can
become anyone you want to become at the
end of the day the choice is yours at
the end of the day you get to construct
yourself you get to decide what it is
that you want to believe as long as
you’re not violating the laws of physics
even physics is a game of maybe even
physics is uncertain and unknown at the
end of the day everything that you get
to do you get to choose you get to
create you get to build something that
you want to be and in that that’s where
people get lost they don’t understand
that the control is theirs they’re lost
because they think there’s a path they
think there’s a way forward and
emotionally it doesn’t resonate
emotionally they’re unable to make it
feel real because it doesn’t feel real
they feel lost they’re unsure they don’t
know where to go or who to become or
even who they are and that sense of
being lost comes from the freedom of
being able to choose anything you want
but no one told you that you could
choose but as tupac shakur said reality
is wrong dreams are for real
it’s the dream that you want to focus on
the dream is your ability to construct
that path the dream is you saying this
is the way that I want to walk the dream
is you saying all of this nothingness
all of this mass confusion all of this
probability and uncertainty I am going
to manifest something real and concrete
and directional in my life I choose to
be Who I am I choose to be who I become
I choose to build something with my
hands to create something that has never
been seen before to do something that
people have never done before to believe
in things that other people cannot see
that dream is my reality that dream is
what I’m going to bring into existence
that dream is the thing that I believe
in
and in believing in that dream and
building that path and finding out in
deciding who you want to be for the
first time you will find yourself in
yourself or coming
so go become what you want to be don’t
worry about walking somebody else’s path
rule number 41 get out and have fun
where should one look to find something
to get passionate about is this an
introspective journey or something more
extrinsic okay so it is actually oddly
enough
step one is not introspective step one
is get out play get lost
have fun try a lot of things challenge
every assumption that you have get out
of your age bracket hang out with people
way outside of how you grew up a totally
different circle you will be utterly
shocked utterly shocked by what ends up
being of interest to you again you’re
not gonna stumble on some grand passion
but you’re gonna stumble on something
that’s interesting to you Wow never
never even knew this existed and yet I
find myself interested and I want to go
down that path but the only way to do
that is to get outside this freakishly
small bubble that you have this is why a
lot of people and I say that because all
of us live in a freaking small bubble
and this is a reason that people often
tell travel as a way to really shake up
their assumptions about the world thinks
they didn’t realize we’re assumptions to
go and see the way other people live and
realize whoa like they seem like they’re
having an amazing time and yet they do
things so dramatically different than
the way that I was raised for instance
so getting out and even if you can’t
leave your house the internet the
internet man the internet will introduce
you to the most eclectic eclectic people
on the planet so if you can’t afford to
travel get a device with an internet
connection and just start searching
random follow random stuff and see where
it leads guys enrich your lives go down
these weird rabbit holes when a friend
invites you to do something super weird
say yes go try it that’s how you’re
gonna find this stuff but it isn’t it
isn’t turning inward and I’m a huge
believer and I spend way more than 80
percent of my time inward reflecting
inward but that isn’t the first step the
first step is encountering
then you can reflect rule number 42 find
deep fulfillment so here is the reality
about money so the reason that people
chase it even though I know you’ve heard
a thousand times and it is absolutely
true money can’t buy happiness that if
you’re chasing money the odds of you
ending up with some level of
dissatisfaction is incredibly high but
the reason that people ignore that and
the reason that they keep chasing it the
reason that I myself live the cliche of
money can’t buy happiness is because
money actually does have power now the
thing that money lets you do the thing
that gives it that power the reason that
people will chase for ever and ever and
ever is it is the great facilitator now
being the great facilitator does not
mean that it gives you the thing that
you secretly want in your life so here’s
the punchline about happiness the goal
of all of this the goal of this game of
life that we’re all playing it is not
money
it is not success it is entirely brain
chemistry it’s entirely how you feel
about yourself when you’re by yourself
it’s about being deeply fulfilled it’s
about being proud of who you are now
those are all for me
synonyms it’s the same thing which I’m
just going to shorthand to fulfillment
the thing that you’re chasing is
fulfillment it’s the only thing that
doesn’t sway with the wind so happiness
in its typical definition is very
transient so I want to shift people over
to thinking about fulfillment
fulfillment is often born of suffering
it’s born of not doing something you
want to do it’s born of doing the hard
things being proud of yourself comes
from that being proud of yourself comes
from working your ass off to acquire a
set of skills that by the way in and of
themselves in acquiring it you found
that pleasurable it’s something that
you’re interested in you’ve hopefully
crafted developed built a deep passion
around and in acquiring those skills in
service of that thing that you love and
enjoy you’re able to serve other people
that’s it that’s the truth of happiness
that’s the truth of the thing that is
going to give you that sense of
fulfillment that’s going to allow you to
enjoy your life money is
never ever ever in and of itself going
to do that money buys cool money is able
to give you those temporary dopamine
rushes of going and shopping for
something and getting it and then it’s
cool but then that coolness factor wears
off very rapidly the flipside of that
using that money to build something that
you believe in that not only empowers
you but helps empower other people that
will help you develop long lasting
fulfillment so that’s the real thing but
if you’re doing something that isn’t
making you a lot of money but you’re
passionate about it you enjoy the
day-to-day and it’s allowing you to
build skills that serve you and other
people I promise you if you had to
choose between the two which by the way
you don’t but if you had to choose
between the two always in forever every
single time choose fulfillment rule
number 43 start taking action what do
you recommend for a person who isn’t
fulfilled in their position to make sure
they don’t get caught in a loop of
negativity while searching for something
else so to me this all comes down to
what you’re rewarding yourself for what
you value in your life so I value action
so if I knew that I’d got myself into a
bad situation I have something in my if
I knew that I’d gotten myself into a bad
situation and rather than sit there and
beat myself up over it I would say okay
you’re in a bad situation you got
yourself here nobody can blame but you
and now instead of beating myself up
over the fact that I got myself into
that situation I am simply going to say
only action matters and so now I’m just
gonna start taking action to make sure
that I’m fixing that whoa and I find
because I so value action and by the way
I value it because I know where it leads
it leads to my desired outcome it leads
to learning worst case so taking that
action driving myself forward pushing
myself that is what I’m going to reward
myself emotionally for so immediately I
get this sense of relief from anxiety
from stress from worry because first I’m
I’m acknowledging how important that is
in my life because it yields rewards and
then second you’re really gonna get
engrossed in it and you’re going to just
be lost in the details of actually
trying to solve that problem by
leveraging
action to get the desired outcome so
those two things I think will serve you
very very well as you go down that
process so just make sure that you
really have that emotional buy-in to the
importance of action rule number 44 care
about the end result sticking with your
good habits is extremely hard because
they’re boring
so whenever something is boring it’s
because somebody’s pursuing something
that they actually don’t give a
about and that’s the problem so for
instance eating healthy food all the
time is isn’t thrilling in the way that
say eating a bag of Oreos is or black
licorice which is a personal favorite of
mine or fried food which is truly my
weakness that stuff is fun man you want
to talk about a dopamine cascade I could
take a random Tuesday and make it feel
like a Saturday night just by deciding
that I’m gonna cheat on my diet now I
don’t do that
I cheat maybe twice a year so it is when
I say it is crazy rare and yet my life
is full of things that thrill me and I
use that word on purpose now
what it comes back to is going back to
the whole topic of today habits and how
you stick with them even when you’re
bored even when it’s not interesting
anymore it’s long after it’s not being
fun the very secret to habits is caring
about the thing that that habit is meant
to lead to but for real like really what
do you care about and for instance here
is a life I pass no judgment on man
because if this is what you want and it
like you love it and you’re filled with
fulfillment it’s amazing great if you
want to sit at home all day and you want
to cut your life to the absolute quick
financially so that you’re living in a
tiny hovel with five other people fine
and you’re eating Tina’s burrito so I
don’t even know if they still exist but
when I was way hardcore poor they were
awesome because it was three for 99
cents which was amazing
so I could live off of that and you’re
cool you boil it down to nothing you
don’t have a car no insurance nothing
and you accept that my life is gonna be
shorter than it would otherwise be and
what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna smoke
weed a lot and I’m going to eat bad food
a lot man respect like if you do it with
your eyes wide open and you’re loving it
you’re having a great time it just the
only reason that you never hear me talk
about that stuff is from my experience
from what I’ve seen of other people the
only thing that gives the human animal
the the best feeling which is to feel
good about yourself when you’re by
yourself is to do the hard things and to
do things that bring fulfillment and the
things that bring fulfillment are often
born of momentary suffering but they
allow you to get stronger in order to
serve other people that’s it that’s just
what I’ve seen so I don’t think it’s
better than the alternative that I just
described it’s just the only thing that
I’ve seen really lead to that sense of
like deep fulfillment so my thing about
the the specific part about the good
habits are hard to stick with because
they’re boring just you’ve got to attach
habits the things you actually really
and truly care about no one can tell you
what to care about you can certainly
build that into your life you can take
something that’s an interest and build
it into something you care deeply about
which I’ve talked endlessly about so I
won’t go into it here but that is very
very possible associate your habits to
that thing suddenly the habits would be
very easy don’t judge yourself with your
life the way you want but respect the
realities of neuro chemistry
rule number 45 put in the time I wanted
to spell a myth for you it’s the talent
it’s the belief that some people were
just born with more than others that
some people are naturally gifted in some
art and that’s just the way the cookie
crumbles and whatever you’re gonna be is
essentially determined by how you
started that your DNA is exactly your
destiny I’m here to tell you right now
that’s it’s just not true it’s
not the truth of the way that humans are
designed as a species were the ultimate
adaptation machine but the very thing
that puts us at the top of the pyramid
is our ability to adapt it is the fact
that the brain is plastic that it
responds to change it responds to
stressors it responds to repetition and
repetition is a slave to obsession as
Conor McGregor said there’s no talent
here this is hard work this is an
obsession you could be anyone if you put
in the time that’s one of the greatest
athletes of our time telling you that
he’s not the result of genetics he’s not
the result of natural gifts he hasn’t
been bestowed something by God he has
shown up day after day in the most
mundane of conditions on the cold days
on the hot days he put in the work
because he was obsessed with what he
could become and how repetition that you
need to actually gain a skill follows
that obsession so in you right now right
now today you want to start building
that obsession you want to look at it
like an ember that
become a raging fire but it needs your
time and attention it needs your time
and attention you’ve got to take that
interest you’ve got to take that spark
of desire and you’ve got to fan the
flames you’ve got to turn it into that
obsession and from that obsession if you
put in the work if you do the things day
in and day out the back-breaking work
pushing through the pain
fighting through feeling like an idiot
fighting through embarrassment getting
up brushing yourself off doing it again
practicing putting yourself at
somebody’s feet and asking what could I
have done better not look at the things
you’re doing well but look at the things
we’re doing wrong look at the things
you’re doing all of these staring at
your inadequacies with no loss of pride
because the only thing you value in
yourself is your willingness to do that
your willing is to work your ass off and
a Sylvester Stallone said I’m not the
richest smartest or most talented
but I succeed because I keep going and
going and going and that’s the secret
route number 46 go step by step I think
my goal may be too big anybody else
gonna chime in on that one I write it
every day but it makes me feel heavy
daunted and terrified to pursue it
rather than excited okay that’s powerful
have I chosen my goal poorly or or do I
need to man up okay the dude Bryan I
love you so much for this question in in
this question is like everything that
people go through so first of all your
goal is not too big okay
you’re just not yet the person you need
to be to execute against that and that
is absolutely fine I’m not yet the
person I need to be in order to rival
Disney I know that and so every day I’m
waking up not saying am i there yet am i
there yet am i there yet I’m thinking
what’s one really simple thing that I
could do right now today to learn
something that moves me down that path
or who can i partner with you know
what’s the idea that I need to get other
people excited about what I’m doing so
that’s super important so your dream is
never too big even if you said you want
to terraform Mars I’m with you right
that’s our boy Elon Musk is literally
thinking about that so your dream isn’t
too big you just don’t think about like
the end goal and let it overwhelm you
which is what is happening to you you’re
riding it every day okay so you’re
obsessing about that end goal that end
outcome which first of all if that end
outcome is about a thing like the thing
that I think about every day is not
building a studio to rival Disney even
though that’s often what I externalize
to people what I think about internally
the thing that warms my soul is I think
about the people out there that are
extraordinary they could do something
amazing with their lives but they won’t
because they don’t believe in themselves
so what I think about the thing that
drives me that obsesses me and fills me
with excitement and joy to get good
enough to actually do it is helping
people develop an empowering mindset
that’s my obsession the whole rival
Disney thing is a path and I think it’s
the right path and I’m excited to do it
and I love it
but at the end of the day
the thing that keeps me going when I’m
feeling overwhelmed is helping other
people so figure out what that thing is
that huge goal that you have why you
want it because chances are that you’re
gonna be able to do it in smaller ways
along the way as well so it’s not like
this you know
20-year chasm of binary nothingness
where you’re not at all doing what you
want to do and then suddenly one day it
either happens or it doesn’t like you
know winning the lottery that it’s you
know these incremental steps okay so you
write it down every day start writing
down the the beautiful thing that you
want to bring into the world and also
even that like you should be spending
time what are you grateful for right now
thinking about what you want to learn
thinking about things that excite you it
makes you feel heavy daunted and
terrified to pursue it okay so if it
makes you feel heavy daunted and
terrified to pursue it because you’re
obsessing over the end goal it’s some
like traditional marker of success money
a big company whatever and not how you
want to help people then it’s just a
matter of reframing if on the other hand
is because you think you’re supposed to
want that thing but you don’t actually
want it and so the idea of pursuing it
and all you would have to do to get
there is just horrifying to you then yes
you’ve picked the wrong goal only you
can answer that question I have no idea
which of the two is true just remember
don’t chase something because people
have told you that you should want it
literally just look at what gives you
more energy than it takes rule number 47
keep your beliefs nimble when does
confidence become harmful how do you
detect overconfidence that might stop
you from striving to get better every
day okay so I I don’t think that
confidence is ever dangerous what I
think is dangerous is a way of
approaching the world if you value
yourself for being a master if your
confidence comes from I know this stuff
then you’re gonna be in trouble because
I think that the reality is that being a
master feeling like you’re an expert
that stuff is a trap and you need to
keep your beliefs nimble so the more you
learn the more you need to be checking
yourself to make sure that that stuff
isn’t calcifying into Dogma meaning that
it becomes like I do it this way and
that’s the way I do it that’s the way
I’ve always done it that’s what my
success is based on so I’m going to keep
doing it that becomes incredibly
dangerous especially now in a world that
changes it evolves so quickly
what worked yesterday may not keep
working tomorrow so you’ve got to
constantly be willing to check your
assumptions and I think the easiest way
to check your assumptions is to write
them down writing them down is going to
force you to have clarity on what your
assumptions are so that’s really really
important and I’m going through this
right now in building the studio I have
a belief system about the way that
things work I have a belief system about
the way that marketing works and I’m
constantly trying to check that and so I
found that there were some beliefs that
were so embedded in me I didn’t even
realize anymore that they were beliefs
and so there’s that whole concept of
David Foster Wallace the guy that wrote
the speech this is water look it up on
YouTube right now in fact I don’t even
mind if you bail out of this right now
to go watch it it’s that important to
get this concept burned into your psyche
the fish is the last one to become aware
of the water it is so ubiquitous that
they don’t even realize it’s a thing
that’s what happens with your beliefs
you begin to believe them and
internalize them so much that you forget
at one point that that was something
that you learned or discovered or chose
to believe and so at some point that now
may be holding you back so I find
writing them down so that I’m aware of
what my assumptions are I’m aware of
what my beliefs are then I can go in and
say and this is straight from Tim
Ferriss if you haven’t watched the
episode of impact Theory would sim cards
check it out he talks about what if he
did the opposite what if he did the
opposite for 24 or 48 hours it’s very
easy to overcome that and back out of it
if it doesn’t work but for 24 or 48
hours just try it what if you had the
opposite belief what if you approach
things in the opposite manner would you
get a better result and doing that and
checking your beliefs and assumptions
against that can be incredibly powerful
it would certainly open up new vistas
new possible avenues I highly highly
recommend that rule number 48 prioritize
properly how you determine what your top
tasks are for any given day this is a
great question already I have many
different to-do items and it’s hard to
know what to prioritize okay so you’ve
got to know what’s my goal where am I
trying to get to you’re gonna back into
the daily tasks okay so now if we know
what we’re looking at our day
that are meant to feed into some
longer-term goal what we’re looking for
our lead Domino’s so what are the things
like if I do this then it will have a
knock-on effect so I’ll give you an
example one Lee domino for me is always
to delegate so I’m always starting my
day by thinking what can I delegate
because once I delegate something then
it starts moving on so on my list of
important things one of the sections is
to delegate so doing that that is it’s a
time multiplier it’s a force multiplier
so if I get that going then now will
sudden that project is running and it’s
essentially like I’ve just added
man-hours to my day so I’m gonna start
with those things I’m gonna make sure
that everybody’s moving and doing the
things that they want the next thing is
what is a roadblock and impediment to
something that’s important in my world
generating revenue or building the
community those are the two things that
like I really think about so if I do
this thing will it generate revenue or
will it make the community bigger so
those are the two things that we have to
do now ultimately the reason I give is I
care deeply about revenue is revenue is
the juice man it is the engine that is
going to allow whatever you’re doing to
go on so making sure that you’re
thinking about things that are actually
going to generate revenue for you and
then for us the community is those are
the people that we want to serve they
also give us a lot of power so thinking
about them but ultimately we won’t be
able to serve them for very long if
we’re not able to get the revenue coming
in that we want and even if we have
revenue coming in and we’re profitable
every bit more revenue that we get
because we’re filtering it back into the
company then we’re just able to serve
more and more people so I’m always
looking at those two things
rule number 49 break yourself in half I
am literally willing to do whatever it
takes within my code of ethics to
achieve my goals so that’s what I mean
by break myself in half I’m willing to
work literally Monday through Friday if
I’m awake I’m either working or working
out so to the point where I brush with
my brush my teeth with my headphones on
so that I can get the last little eeks
of the day out from the moment I wake up
I go immediately to the gym I work out
and then I immediately do my morning
routine which I’ve gone through so many
times I won’t waste my time with it now
but I go right into that immediately and
that carries me all the way through so
like today
I woke up at what 4:15 so I wake up
around that time every day somewhere
between let’s say 3:00 and 5:00 that’s
my typical wake up window and I’m going
to work or work out from that moment
until I go to bed and I go to bed at the
same time every night which is 9:00 p.m.
so somewhere around about 8:45 is when I
begin my nighttime ritual brushing my
teeth and all of that but even then I am
listening to a book or something along
those lines so that is what I mean by
break myself in half and then on the
weekends by the way on a lazy weekend I
probably work five to seven hours a day
and then on a hardcore weekend like last
weekend where I was working literally
until midnight on a Saturday I’ll clock
say 13 14 hours of work that’s on a
weekend so that’s what I mean by break
myself and half now the whole point is
that I’m building something that I
believe in I’m building something that
gives me a deep sense of fulfillment I
believe that not only am i empowering
myself and making myself stronger and
more capable of the things that I want
to do and the things that give me joy
and give me more energy than they take
but that I am doing something that
serves a lot of people that goes way
beyond me and the not-so-secret thing I
love the puzzle of seeing if I can
figure out something that other people
can’t figure out that is a deeply
enjoyable pastime of trying to improve
myself to learn enough to think of the
problem in a new enough way to challenge
my own assumptions to do all of that to
be able to see a problem in a way that
nobody else can to see a solution that
nobody else can see I love doing that so
all of this energy and effort it is in
things that give me more energy than
they take so it’s just a pleasurable
existence and I don’t want to hear
people I don’t want people to hear in
what I say that I’m just like grinding
it out I tried that I did that for six
and a half years and it was a total
misery so I’m not saying that I’m saying
work that hard in service of something
that you believe in that makes you feel
alive that you love doing if you do that
then breaking yourself and a half that
just becomes a metaphor for the amount
of energy that you’re willing to put
into the things that you believe in and
rule number 50 the last one before a
very special bonus clip
change your attitude as Maya Angelou
said if you don’t like something change
it if you can’t change it change your
attitude that’s some of the best advice
you’re ever going to hear at the end of
the day you should always be trying to
change the things that you have the
ability to change there inevitably going
to be things that you can’t change but
you’re never helpless you’re never a
victim in that moment you still have the
unbelievable ability to choose to look
at it in a new way to choose to reframe
it and in that reframing you change
everything you don’t just change your
own neural chemistry you’re not just
changing the way that you feel you’re
actually changing the way that you’re
going to approach the problem something
that was moments before something that
seemed impossible something that was
breaking your will to continue to fight
with a change in attitude becomes
something completely different and as
hans selye said adopting the right
attitude can turn a negative stress into
a positive one and that game of mental
jujitsu is what it’s about that game of
flipping something on its head of
turning something around of seeing it in
a new way so that you can act in a new
way is how you make forward progress and
understanding that understanding the
need to take control of your perceptions
understanding that understanding your
need to change your perspective that’s
how you begin to get ahead once you
understand your perspective is a choice
it is not objective truth burn that into
your mind
it is not objective truth the world that
you see around you is simply the
perspective through which you see it all
of life is a funhouse mirror
and when you acknowledge that when you
understand that you’re looking at a
distorted view of the way the world is
you realize that you can adopt a
different Distortion you can adopt a
divorce that allows you to see things
more clearly that allow you to see
things in a way that empower you and
that should always be the first step is
figuring out not what is not what you
can change but instead understanding
what you need to change it to an
understanding that that change comes
from inside you it isn’t a manifestation
that you have to make in the outside
world force it’s a change you have to
make inside yourself it is a shift of
perspective it is simply stepping to the
side of what you’re used to and how you
use the seeing things and understanding
that in reframing things you take that
negative and turn it into something that
builds you up but you’ve got to choose
you’ve got to decide you’ve got to
believe that you can do it but once you
believe that you can see things in any
way that you need to to reach your goals
your life will change forever
now I’ve got a really special bonus tom
bill you clip on how to prime your mind
that I think you’re really gonna enjoy
but before that the three questions I
want to make sure you’re moving from a
place of consumption to taking action
and so here are three questions I want
you to think about write them down the
answers for yourself talk about it with
a friend or leave the answers in the
comments below
ready here we go question number one
what is the most important attitude
adjustment that you need to make
question number two what is the activity
you need to prioritize more in your
business and question number three what
fulfills you and how can you bring it
more into your business thank you guys
so much for watching I believe in you I
hope we continue to believe in yourself
and whatever you’re one where it is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
what do you recommend for a person who
isn’t fulfilled in their position to
make sure that they don’t get caught in
a loop of negativity while searching for
something else all right this is all
about mental management
I don’t read like not too long ago oh I
really want to remember who this is
I’m doing them a disservice because this
really impacted me and it was that when
they wake up in the morning one of the
things that they do and I think we may
have already aired the episode of the
person that said this so hopefully one
of you guys can chime in and remind me
who said this but they were saying that
they’ll set their their emotional
intention like the thing that they want
to feel by like putting on a song by
literally saying okay that that’s what
they said now I’m saying what I found
going along with like picking a song or
setting something like that that I
literally just remind myself feel good
be upbeat I know how dumb that sounds
but it literally works like some part of
you in inside at a biological level
knows the mechanisms knows the neuro
chemistry to pump so you don’t have to
like think about what neurotransmitter
is you want to pump you literally just
remind yourself feel good feel good and
I find it always changes my posture so
I’m gonna do something with my body so
for those that are listening and not
watching I’m gonna sit up taller I’m
going to put my shoulders back I’m going
to smile a little
even if I’m all by myself I put what I
call a hint of a smile on my face and in
doing that it is so weird how those
physical hooks actually start to change
your neural chemistry and then if I
really need to or want to just for fun
to have that energy I will put on a song
that really gets me in a fun place if
that song which normally works isn’t
working that day I will skip and find
another one
but in just reminding yourself to feel
that way in making the demand of
yourself from a playful fun place that I
can literally right now in this moment
choose to exist in a state of happiness
of going through gratitude all of those
things will work to prime your mind to
feel that stuff
terrific world domination honey Empire
right I’m grateful I understand why I’m
here I think because I am so open I
wanted to think and see it’s a bloody
brief life all of you have the potential
for enormous success if you want to know
what Gary Vee DJ Khalid Oprah and others
know about empire building that most
people miss check out the link in the description for a free bonus video