guys enrich your lives
go down these weird rabbit holes when a
friend invites you to do something super
weird say yes go try it the goal of this
game of life that we’re all playing it
is not money
it is not success it is entirely brain
chemistry it’s entirely how you feel
about yourself when you’re by yourself
being a master feeling like you’re an
expert that stuff is a trap and you need
to keep your beliefs nimble need
motivation watch a top 10 with believe
nation what’s that believe nation it’s
Evan my one word is believe and I
believe in you I believe you have
Michael Jordan level talent at something
and I want you to find it embrace it and
use it to make a difference so let’s get
your motivation to attend and get you
believing in you grab a sack and chew in
today’s lessons from a man who went from
growing up and a morbidly obese family
and being dead broke to building a
billion-dollar brand and now spending
his life trying to help people unlock
their human potential and pull them out
of the matrix he’s Tom Billy oh and
here’s my take on his top ten rules of
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one get out and have fun
where should one look to find something
to get passionate about is this an
introspective journey or something more
extrinsic okay so it is actually oddly
enough
step one is not introspective step one
is get out play get lost
have fun try a lot of things challenge
every assumption that you have get out
of your age bracket hang out with people
way outside of how you grew up a totally
different circle you will be utterly
shocked utterly shocked by what ends up
being of interest to you again you’re
not gonna stumble on some grand passion
but you’re gonna stumble on something
that’s interesting to you Wow never
never even knew this existed and yet I
find myself interested and I want to go
down that path but the only way to do
that is to get outside this freakishly
small bubble that you have this is why a
lot of people and I say that because all
of us live in a freakish a small bubble
and this is a reason that people often
tell travel as a way to really shake up
their assumptions about the world thinks
they didn’t realize we’re assumptions to
go and see the way other people live and
realize whoa like they seem like they’re
having an amazing time and yet they do
things so dramatically different than
the way that I was raised for instance
so getting out and even if you can’t
leave your house the internet the
internet man the internet will introduce
you to the most eclectic eclectic people
on the planet so if you can’t afford to
travel get a device with an internet
connection and just start searching
random follow random stuff and see where
it leads guys enrich your lives go down
these weird rabbit holes when a friend
invites you to do something super weird
say yes go try it that’s how you’re
gonna find this stuff but it isn’t it
isn’t turning inward and I’m a huge
believer and I spend way more than 80
percent of my time inward reflecting
inward but that isn’t the first step the
first step is encountering then you can
reflect rule number two
find deep fulfillment so here is the
reality about money so the reason that
people chase it even though I know
you’ve heard a thousand times and it is
absolutely true money can’t buy
happiness that if you’re chasing money
the odds of you ending up with some
level of dissatisfaction is incredibly
high but the reason that people ignore
that the reason that they keep chasing
it the reason that I myself live the
cliche of money can’t buy happiness is
because money actually does have power
now the thing that money lets you do the
thing that gives it that power the
reason that people will chase for ever
and ever and ever is it is the great
facilitator now being the great
facilitator does not mean that it gives
you the thing that you secretly want in
your life so here’s the punchline about
happiness the goal of all of this the
goal of this game of life that we’re all
playing it is not money
it is not success it is entirely brain
chemistry it’s entirely how you feel
about yourself when you’re by yourself
it’s about being deeply fulfilled it’s
about being proud of who you are now
those are all for me
synonyms it’s the same thing which I’m
just going to shorthand to fulfillment
the thing that you’re chasing is
fulfillment it’s the only thing that
doesn’t sway with the wind so happiness
in its typical definition is very
transient so I want to shift people over
to thinking about fulfillment
fulfillment is often born of suffering
it’s born of not doing something you
want to do it’s born of doing the hard
things being proud of yourself comes
from that being proud of yourself comes
from working your ass off to acquire a
set of skills that by the way in and of
themselves in acquiring it you found
that pleasurable it’s something that
you’re interested in you’ve hopefully
crafted developed built a deep passion
around and in acquiring those skills in
service of that thing that you love and
enjoy you’re able to serve other people
that’s it that’s the truth of happiness
that’s the truth of the thing that is
going to give you that sense of
fulfillment that’s going to allow you to
enjoy your life money is never ever ever
in and of itself going to do that
bhai’s cool money is able to give you
those temporary dopamine rushes of going
and shopping for something and getting
it and then it’s cool but then that
coolness factor wears off very rapidly
the flip side of that using that money
to build something that you believe in
that not only empowers you but helps
empower other people that will help you
develop long lasting fulfillment so
that’s the real thing but if you’re
doing something that isn’t making you a
lot of money but you’re passionate about
it you enjoy the day today and it’s
allowing you to build skills that serve
you and other people I promise you if
you had to choose between the two which
by the way you don’t but if you had to
choose between the two always in forever
every single time
choose fulfillment rule number three
start taking action what do you
recommend for a person who isn’t
fulfilled in their position to make sure
they don’t get caught in a loop of
negativity while searching for something
else so to me this all comes down to
what you’re rewarding yourself for what
you value in your life so I value action
so if I knew that I’d gotten myself into
a bad situation I have something in my
if I knew that I’d gotten myself into a
bad situation and rather than sit there
and beat myself up over it I would say
okay you’re in a bad situation you got
yourself here
nobody even blamed you and now instead
of beating myself up over the fact that
I got myself into this situation I am
simply going to say only action matters
and so now I’m just gonna start taking
action to make sure that I’m fixing that
whoa and I find because I so value
action and by the way I value it because
I know where it leads it leads to my
desired outcome it leads to learning
worst case so taking that action driving
myself forward pushing myself that is
what I’m going to reward myself
emotionally for so immediately I get
this sense of relief from anxiety from
stress from worry because first I’m
acknowledging how important that is in
my life because it yields rewards and
then second you’re really gonna get
engrossed in it and you’re going to just
be lost in the details of actually
trying to solve that problem by
leveraging your action to get the
desired outcome so those two things I
think will serve you
very very well as you go down that
process so just make sure that you
really have that emotional buy-in to the
importance of action rule number four
care about the end result sticking with
your good habits is extremely hard
because they’re boring so whenever
something is boring it’s because
somebody’s pursuing something that they
actually don’t give a about and
that’s the problem so for instance
eating healthy food all the time
is isn’t thrilling in the way that say
eating a bag of Oreos is or black
licorice which is a personal favorite of
mine or fried food which is truly my
weakness that stuff is fun man and you
want to talk about a dopamine cascade I
could take a random Tuesday and make it
feel like a Saturday night just by
deciding that I’m gonna cheat on my diet
now I don’t do that
I cheat maybe twice a year so it is when
I say it is crazy rare and yet my life
is full of things that thrill me and I
use that word on purpose now what it
comes back to is going back to the whole
topic of today habits and how you stick
with them even when you’re bored even
when it’s not interesting anymore it’s
long after it stopped being fun the very
secret to habits is caring about the
thing that that habit is meant to lead
to but for real like really what do you
care about and for instance here is a
life I pass no judgment on man because
if this is what you want and it like you
love it and you’re filled with
fulfillment it’s amazing great if you
want to sit at home all day and you want
to cut your life to the absolute quick
financially so that you’re living in a
tiny hovel with five other people fine
and you’re eating Tina’s burritos I
don’t even know if they still exist but
when I was way hardcore poor they were
awesome because it was three for 99
cents which was amazing so I could live
off of that and you’re cool you boil it
down to nothing you don’t have a car no
insurance nothing and you accept that my
life is gonna be shorter than it would
otherwise be and what I’m gonna do is
I’m gonna smoke weed a lot and I’m going
to eat bad food a lot man respect like
if you do it with your eyes wide open
you’re loving it you’re having a great
time it just the only reason that you
never hear me talk about that stuff is
from my experience from what I’ve seen
of other people the only thing that
gives the human animal the the best
feeling which is to feel good about
yourself when you’re by yourself is to
do the hard things and to do things that
bring fulfillment and the things that
bring fulfillment are often born of
momentary suffering but they allow you
to get stronger in order to serve other
people that’s it that’s just what I’ve
seen so I don’t think it’s better than
the alternative that I just described
it’s just the only thing that I’ve seen
really lead to that sense of like deep
fulfillment so my thing about the the
specific part about the good habits are
hard to stick with because they’re
boring just you’ve got to attach habits
the things you actually really and truly
care about no one can tell you what to
care about you can certainly build that
into your life you can take something
that’s an interest and build it into
something you care deeply about which
I’ve talked endlessly about so I won’t
go into it here but that is very very
possible associate your habits of that
thing suddenly the habits would be very
easy don’t judge yourself with your life
the way you want but respect the
realities of neuro chemistry
rule number five put in the time I
wanted to spell a myth for you it’s the
it’s the belief that some people were
just born with more than others that
some people are naturally gifted in some
art and that’s just the way the cookie
crumbles and whatever you’re gonna be is
essentially determined by how you
started that your DNA is exactly your
destiny I’m here to tell you right now
that’s it’s just not true it’s
not the truth of the way that humans are
designed as a species were the ultimate
adaptation machine but the very thing
that puts us at the top of the pyramid
is our ability to adapt it is the fact
that the brain is plastic that it
responds to change it responds to
stressors it responds to repetition and
repetition is a slave to obsession as
Conor McGregor said there’s no talent
here this is hard work this is an
obsession you could be anyone if you put
in the time that’s one of the greatest
athletes of our time telling you that
he’s not the result of genetics he’s not
the result of natural gifts he hasn’t
been bestowed something by God he has
shown up day after day in the most
mundane of conditions on the cold days
on the hot days he put in the work
because he was obsessed with what he can
become and that repetition that you need
to actually gain a skill follows that
obsession so in you right now right now
today you want to start building that
obsession you want to look at it like an
ember that can become a raging fire but
it needs your time and attention it
needs your time and
tenshun you’ve got to take that interest
you’ve got to take that spark of desire
and you’ve got to fan the flames you’ve
got to turn it into that obsession and
from that obsession if you put in the
work if you do the things day in and day
out the back-breaking work pushing
through the pain biting through feeling
like an idiot
fighting through embarrassment getting
up brushing yourself off doing it again
practicing putting yourself at
somebody’s feet and asking what could I
have done better not look at the things
you’re doing well but look at the things
we’re doing wrong look at the things
you’re doing already staring at your
inadequacies with no loss of pride
because the only thing you value in
yourself is your willingness to do that
you’re willing is to work your ass off
and as Sylvester Stallone said I’m not
the richest smartest or most talented
I succeed because I keep going and going
and going and that’s the secret rule
number six go step by step I think my
goal may be too big anybody else gonna
chime in on that I write it every day
but it makes me feel heavy daunted and
terrified to pursue it rather than
excited okay that’s powerful have I
chosen my goal poorly or or do I need to
man up okay the dude Brian I love you so
much for this question in in this
question is like everything that people
go through so first of all your goal is
not too big okay
you’re just not yet the person you need
to be to execute against that and that
is absolutely fine I’m not yet the
person I need to be in order to rival
Disney I know that and so every day I’m
waking up not saying am i there yet am i
there yet am i there yet I’m thinking
what’s one really simple thing that I
could do right now today to learn
something that moves me down that path
or who can i partner with you know
what’s the idea that I need to get other
people excited about what I’m doing so
that’s super important so your dream is
never too big even if you said you want
to terraform Mars I’m with you right
that’s our boy Elon Musk is literally
thinking about that so your dream isn’t
too big you just don’t think about like
the end goal and let it overwhelm you
which is what is happening to you you’re
riding it every day okay so you’re
obsessing about that end goal that end
outcome which first of all if that end
outcome is about a thing like the thing
that I think about every day is not
building a studio to rival Disney even
though that’s often what I externalize
to people what I think about internally
the thing that warms my soul is I think
about the people out there that are
extraordinary they could do something
amazing with their lives but they won’t
because they don’t believe in themselves
so what I think about the thing that
drives me that obsesses me and fills me
with excitement and joy to get good
enough to actually do it is helping
people develop an empowering mindset
that’s my obsession the whole rival
Disney thing is a path and I think it’s
the right path and I’m excited to do it
and I love it
but at the end of the day the thing that
keeps me going when I’m feeling
overwhelmed is
helping other people so figure out what
that thing is that huge goal that you
have why you want it because chances are
that you’re gonna be able to do it in
smaller ways along the way as well
so it’s not like this you know 20-year
chasm of binary nothingness where you’re
not at all doing what you want to do and
then suddenly one day it either happens
or it doesn’t like you know winning the
lottery that it’s you know these
incremental steps okay so you write it
down every day start writing down the
the beautiful things you want to bring
into the world and also even that like
you should be spending time what are you
grateful for right now thinking about
what you want to learn thinking about
things that excite you it makes you feel
heavy daunted and terrified to pursue it
okay so if it makes you feel heavy
daunted and terrified to pursue it
because you’re obsessing over the end
goal it’s some like traditional marker
of success money a big company whatever
and not how you want to help people then
it’s just a matter of reframing if on
the other hand is because you think
you’re supposed to want that thing but
you don’t actually want it and so the
idea of pursuing it and all you would
have to do to get there is just
horrifying to you then yes you’ve picked
the wrong goal only you can answer that
question I have no idea which of the two
is true
just remember don’t chase something
because people have told you that you
should want it literally just look at
what gives you more energy than it takes
rule number seven
keep your beliefs nimble when does
confidence become harmful how do you
detect overconfidence that might stop
you from striving to get better every
day okay so I I don’t think that
confidence is ever dangerous what I
think is dangerous is a way of
approaching the world if you value
yourself for being a master if your
confidence comes from I know this stuff
then you’re gonna be in trouble because
I think that the reality is that being a
master feeling like you’re an expert
that stuff is a trap and you need to
keep your beliefs nimble so the more you
learn and the more you need to be
checking yourself to make sure that that
stuff isn’t calcifying into Dogma
meaning that it becomes like I do it
this way and that’s the way I do it
that’s the way I’ve always done it
that’s what my success is based on so
I’m gonna keep doing it that becomes
incredibly dangerous especially now in a
world that changes it evolves so quickly
what worked yesterday may not keep
working tomorrow so you’ve got a Const
be willing to check your assumptions and
I think the easiest way to check your
assumptions is to write them down
writing them down is going to force you
to have clarity on what your assumptions
are so that’s really really important
and I’m going through this right now in
building the studio I have a belief
system about the way that things work I
have a belief system about the way that
marketing works and I’m constantly
trying to check that and so I found that
there were some beliefs that were so
embedded in me I didn’t even realize
anymore that they were beliefs and so
there’s that whole concept of David
Foster Wallace the guy that wrote the
speech this is water look it up on
YouTube right now in fact I don’t even
mind if you bail out of this right now
to go watch it it’s that important to
get this concept burned into your psyche
the fish is the last one to become aware
of the water it is so ubiquitous that
they don’t even realize it’s a thing
that’s what happens with your beliefs
you begin to believe them and
internalize them so much that you forget
at one point that that was something
that you learned or discovered or chose
to believe and so at some point that now
may be holding you back so I find
writing them down so that I’m aware of
what my assumptions are I’m aware of
what my beliefs are then I can go in and
save and this is straight from Tim
Ferriss if you haven’t watched the
episode of impact theory with temper get
out he talks about what if he did the
opposite what if he did the opposite for
24 or 48 hours it’s very easy to
overcome that and back out of it if it
doesn’t work but for 24 or 48 hours just
try it what if you had the opposite
belief what if you approach things in
the opposite manner would you get a
better result and doing that and
checking your beliefs and assumptions
against that can be incredibly powerful
it would certainly open up new vistas
new possible avenues I highly highly
recommend that rule number eight
prioritize properly how you determine
what your top tasks are for any given
day this is a great question already I
have many different to-do items and it’s
hard to know what to prioritize okay so
you’ve got to know what’s my goal where
am i trying to get to you’re gonna back
into the daily tasks okay so now if we
know what we’re looking at our daily
tasks that are meant to feed into some
longer-term goal what we’re looking for
are lead
Domino’s so what are the things like if
I do this then it will have a knock-on
effect so I’ll give you an example one
Lee domino for me is always to delegate
so I’m always starting my day by
thinking what can I delegate because
once I delegate something then it starts
moving on so on my list of important
things one of the sections is to
delegate so doing that that is it’s a
time multiplier it’s a force multiplier
so if I get that going then now we’ll
send that project just running and it’s
essentially like I’ve just added
man-hours to my day so I’m gonna start
with those things I’m gonna make sure
that everybody’s moving doing the things
that they want the next thing is what is
a roadblock an impediment to something
that’s important in my world generating
revenue or building the community those
are the two things that like I really
think about so if I do this thing will
it generate revenue or will it make the
community bigger so those are the two
things that we have to do now ultimately
the reason that I give is I care deeply
about revenue is revenue is the juice
man it is the engine that is going to
allow whatever you’re doing to go on so
making sure that you’re thinking about
things that are actually going to
generate revenue for you and then for us
the community is those are the people
that we want to serve they also give us
a lot of power so thinking about them
but ultimately we won’t be able to serve
them for very long if we’re not able to
get the revenue coming in that we want
and even if we have revenue coming in
and we’re profitable every bit more
revenue that we get because we’re
filtering it back into the company then
we’re just able to serve more and more
people so I’m always looking at those
two things rule number nine break
yourself in half I am literally willing
to do whatever it takes within my code
of ethics to achieve my goals so that’s
what I mean by break myself in half I’m
willing to work literally Monday through
Friday if I’m awake I’m either working
or working out so to the point where I
brush with my brush my teeth with my
headphones on so that I can get the last
little eeks of the day out from the
moment I wake up I go immediately to the
gym I workout and then I immediately do
my morning routine which I’ve gone
through so many times I won’t waste my
time with it now but I go right into
that immediately and that carries me all
the way through so like today
I woke up at what 4:15 so I wake up
around that time every day somewhere
between let’s say 3:00 and 5:00 that’s
my typical wake up window and I’m going
to work or work out from that moment
until I go to bed and I go to bed the
same time every night which is 9:00 p.m.
so somewhere around about 8:45 is when I
begin my nighttime ritual brushing my
teeth and all of that but even then I am
listening to a book or something along
those lines so that is what I mean by
break myself in half and then on the
weekends by the way on a lazy weekend I
probably work five to seven hours a day
and then on a hardcore weekend like last
weekend where I was working literally
until midnight on a Saturday I’ll clock
say 13 14 hours of work that’s on a
weekend so that’s what I mean by break
myself in half now the whole point is
that I’m building something that I
believe in I’m building something that
gives me a deep sense of fulfillment I
believe that not only am i empowering
myself and making myself stronger and
more capable of the things that I want
to do and the things you give me joy and
give me more energy than they take but
that I am doing something that serves a
lot of people that goes way beyond me
and the not-so-secret thing I love the
puzzle of seeing if I can figure out
something that other people can’t figure
out that is a deeply enjoyable pastime
of trying to improve myself to learn
enough to think of the problem in a new
enough way to challenge my own
assumptions to do all of that to be able
to see a problem in a way that nobody
else can to see a solution that nobody
else can see I love doing that so all of
this energy and effort it is in things
that give me more energy than they take
so it’s just a pleasurable existence and
I don’t want to hear people I don’t want
people to hear in what I say that I’m
just like writing it out I tried that I
did that for six and a half years and it
was a total misery so I’m not saying
that I’m saying work that hard in
service of something that you believe in
that makes you feel alive that you love
doing if you do that then breaking
yourself in half that just becomes a
metaphor for the amount of energy that
you’re willing to put into the things
that you believe in and rule number ten
my personal favorite and also the last
one before a very special bonus clip
is change your attitude as Maya Angelou
said if you don’t like something change
it if you can’t change it change your
attitude that’s some of the best advice
you’re ever going to hear at the end of
the day you should always be trying to
change the things that you have the
ability to change there are inevitably
going to be things that you can’t change
but you’re never helpless you’re never a
victim in that moment you still have the
unbelievable ability to choose to look
at it in a new way to choose to reframe
it and in that reframing you change
everything you don’t just change your
own neural chemistry you’re not just
changing the way that you feel you’re
actually changing the way that you’re
going to approach the problem something
that was moments before something that
seemed impossible something that was
breaking your will to continue to fight
with a change in attitude becomes
something completely different and as
hans selye you said adopting the right
attitude can turn a negative stress into
a positive one and that game of mental
jujitsu is what it’s about that game of
flipping something on its head of
turning something around of seeing it in
a new way so that you can act in a new
way is how you make forward progress and
understanding that understanding the
need to take control of your perceptions
understanding that understanding your
need to change your perspective that’s
how you begin to get ahead once you
understand your perspective is a choice
it is not objective truth burn that into
your mind it is not objective truth the
world that you see around you is simply
the perspective through which you see it
all of life is a funhouse mirror
and when you acknowledge that when you
understand that you’re looking at a
distorted view of the way the world is
you realize that you can adopt a
different Distortion you can adopt a
diss or see things more clearly that
allow you to see things in a way that
empower you and that should always be
the first step is figuring out not what
is not what you can change but instead
understanding what you need to change it
to an understanding that that change
comes from inside you it isn’t a
manifestation that you have to make in
the outside world for us it’s a change
you have to make inside yourself it is a
shift of perspective it is simply
stepping to the side of what you’re used
to and how you use the seeing things and
understanding that in reframing things
you take that negative and turn it into
something that builds you up but you’ve
got to choose you’ve got to decide
you’ve got to believe that you can do it
once you believe that you can see things
in any way that you need to to reach
your goals your life will change forever
now I’ve got a really special tongue
bill you bonuses up on how to prime your
mind to think you’re really gonna enjoy
but before that question of the day
which could president more with you
change your attitude or go step by step
let me know in the comments below
change your attitude to go step by step
thank you guys so much for watching I
believe in you I hope we continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love I’ll see you soon
what do you recommend for a person who
isn’t fulfilled in their position to
make sure that they don’t get caught in
a loop of negativity while searching for
something else all right this is all
about mental management
I don’t read like not too long ago oh I
really want to remember who this is
I’m doing them a disservice because this
really impacted me and it was that when
they wake up in the morning one of the
things that they do and I think we may
have already aired the episode of the
person that said this so hopefully one
of you guys can chime in and remind me
who said this but they were saying that
they’ll set their their emotional
intention like the thing that they want
to feel by like putting on a song by
literally saying okay that that’s what
they said now I’m saying what I found
going along with like picking a song or
setting something like that that I
literally just remind myself feel good
be upbeat I know how dumb that sounds
but it literally works like some part of
you in inside at a biological level
knows the mechanisms knows the neuro
chemistry to pump so you don’t have to
like think about what neurotransmitter
is you want to pump you literally just
remind yourself feel good feel good and
I find it always changes my posture so
I’m gonna do something with my body so
for those that are listening and not
watching I’m gonna sit up taller I’m
going to put my shoulders back I’m going
to smile a little
even if I’m all by myself I put what I
call a hint of a smile on my face and in
doing that it is so weird how those
physical hooks actually start to change
your neural chemistry and then if I
really need to or want to just for fun
to have that energy I will put on a song
that really gets me in a fun place that
song which normally works isn’t working
that day I will skip and find another
one but in just reminding yourself to
feel that way in making the demand of
yourself from a playful fun place that I
can literally right now in this moment
choose to exist in a state of happiness
of going through gratitude all of those
things will work to prime your mind to
feel that stuff
if you tell yourself a story long enough
you start to believe it don’t you
believe it you act like I have Tulsa
what a whale out of handcuffed lightning
throw thunder in jail now you know I’m
bad over the last week I murdered a rock
into the stone hospitalized a brick I’m
so mean I make medicine sick the
fundamental key to success is it can
take between 18 and 250 four days of
taking action for a new habit to stick
I’ve created a new course called 250 for
confidence or every single day for 250
four days I will be sending you a video
between 30 seconds and 5 minutes long
that you start your morning with around
making you feel confident it’s
absolutely free check out the link in the description below to get access
go down these weird rabbit holes when a
friend invites you to do something super
weird say yes go try it the goal of this
game of life that we’re all playing it
is not money
it is not success it is entirely brain
chemistry it’s entirely how you feel
about yourself when you’re by yourself
being a master feeling like you’re an
expert that stuff is a trap and you need
to keep your beliefs nimble need
motivation watch a top 10 with believe
nation what’s that believe nation it’s
Evan my one word is believe and I
believe in you I believe you have
Michael Jordan level talent at something
and I want you to find it embrace it and
use it to make a difference so let’s get
your motivation to attend and get you
believing in you grab a sack and chew in
today’s lessons from a man who went from
growing up and a morbidly obese family
and being dead broke to building a
billion-dollar brand and now spending
his life trying to help people unlock
their human potential and pull them out
of the matrix he’s Tom Billy oh and
here’s my take on his top ten rules of
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one get out and have fun
where should one look to find something
to get passionate about is this an
introspective journey or something more
extrinsic okay so it is actually oddly
enough
step one is not introspective step one
is get out play get lost
have fun try a lot of things challenge
every assumption that you have get out
of your age bracket hang out with people
way outside of how you grew up a totally
different circle you will be utterly
shocked utterly shocked by what ends up
being of interest to you again you’re
not gonna stumble on some grand passion
but you’re gonna stumble on something
that’s interesting to you Wow never
never even knew this existed and yet I
find myself interested and I want to go
down that path but the only way to do
that is to get outside this freakishly
small bubble that you have this is why a
lot of people and I say that because all
of us live in a freakish a small bubble
and this is a reason that people often
tell travel as a way to really shake up
their assumptions about the world thinks
they didn’t realize we’re assumptions to
go and see the way other people live and
realize whoa like they seem like they’re
having an amazing time and yet they do
things so dramatically different than
the way that I was raised for instance
so getting out and even if you can’t
leave your house the internet the
internet man the internet will introduce
you to the most eclectic eclectic people
on the planet so if you can’t afford to
travel get a device with an internet
connection and just start searching
random follow random stuff and see where
it leads guys enrich your lives go down
these weird rabbit holes when a friend
invites you to do something super weird
say yes go try it that’s how you’re
gonna find this stuff but it isn’t it
isn’t turning inward and I’m a huge
believer and I spend way more than 80
percent of my time inward reflecting
inward but that isn’t the first step the
first step is encountering then you can
reflect rule number two
find deep fulfillment so here is the
reality about money so the reason that
people chase it even though I know
you’ve heard a thousand times and it is
absolutely true money can’t buy
happiness that if you’re chasing money
the odds of you ending up with some
level of dissatisfaction is incredibly
high but the reason that people ignore
that the reason that they keep chasing
it the reason that I myself live the
cliche of money can’t buy happiness is
because money actually does have power
now the thing that money lets you do the
thing that gives it that power the
reason that people will chase for ever
and ever and ever is it is the great
facilitator now being the great
facilitator does not mean that it gives
you the thing that you secretly want in
your life so here’s the punchline about
happiness the goal of all of this the
goal of this game of life that we’re all
playing it is not money
it is not success it is entirely brain
chemistry it’s entirely how you feel
about yourself when you’re by yourself
it’s about being deeply fulfilled it’s
about being proud of who you are now
those are all for me
synonyms it’s the same thing which I’m
just going to shorthand to fulfillment
the thing that you’re chasing is
fulfillment it’s the only thing that
doesn’t sway with the wind so happiness
in its typical definition is very
transient so I want to shift people over
to thinking about fulfillment
fulfillment is often born of suffering
it’s born of not doing something you
want to do it’s born of doing the hard
things being proud of yourself comes
from that being proud of yourself comes
from working your ass off to acquire a
set of skills that by the way in and of
themselves in acquiring it you found
that pleasurable it’s something that
you’re interested in you’ve hopefully
crafted developed built a deep passion
around and in acquiring those skills in
service of that thing that you love and
enjoy you’re able to serve other people
that’s it that’s the truth of happiness
that’s the truth of the thing that is
going to give you that sense of
fulfillment that’s going to allow you to
enjoy your life money is never ever ever
in and of itself going to do that
bhai’s cool money is able to give you
those temporary dopamine rushes of going
and shopping for something and getting
it and then it’s cool but then that
coolness factor wears off very rapidly
the flip side of that using that money
to build something that you believe in
that not only empowers you but helps
empower other people that will help you
develop long lasting fulfillment so
that’s the real thing but if you’re
doing something that isn’t making you a
lot of money but you’re passionate about
it you enjoy the day today and it’s
allowing you to build skills that serve
you and other people I promise you if
you had to choose between the two which
by the way you don’t but if you had to
choose between the two always in forever
every single time
choose fulfillment rule number three
start taking action what do you
recommend for a person who isn’t
fulfilled in their position to make sure
they don’t get caught in a loop of
negativity while searching for something
else so to me this all comes down to
what you’re rewarding yourself for what
you value in your life so I value action
so if I knew that I’d gotten myself into
a bad situation I have something in my
if I knew that I’d gotten myself into a
bad situation and rather than sit there
and beat myself up over it I would say
okay you’re in a bad situation you got
yourself here
nobody even blamed you and now instead
of beating myself up over the fact that
I got myself into this situation I am
simply going to say only action matters
and so now I’m just gonna start taking
action to make sure that I’m fixing that
whoa and I find because I so value
action and by the way I value it because
I know where it leads it leads to my
desired outcome it leads to learning
worst case so taking that action driving
myself forward pushing myself that is
what I’m going to reward myself
emotionally for so immediately I get
this sense of relief from anxiety from
stress from worry because first I’m
acknowledging how important that is in
my life because it yields rewards and
then second you’re really gonna get
engrossed in it and you’re going to just
be lost in the details of actually
trying to solve that problem by
leveraging your action to get the
desired outcome so those two things I
think will serve you
very very well as you go down that
process so just make sure that you
really have that emotional buy-in to the
importance of action rule number four
care about the end result sticking with
your good habits is extremely hard
because they’re boring so whenever
something is boring it’s because
somebody’s pursuing something that they
actually don’t give a about and
that’s the problem so for instance
eating healthy food all the time
is isn’t thrilling in the way that say
eating a bag of Oreos is or black
licorice which is a personal favorite of
mine or fried food which is truly my
weakness that stuff is fun man and you
want to talk about a dopamine cascade I
could take a random Tuesday and make it
feel like a Saturday night just by
deciding that I’m gonna cheat on my diet
now I don’t do that
I cheat maybe twice a year so it is when
I say it is crazy rare and yet my life
is full of things that thrill me and I
use that word on purpose now what it
comes back to is going back to the whole
topic of today habits and how you stick
with them even when you’re bored even
when it’s not interesting anymore it’s
long after it stopped being fun the very
secret to habits is caring about the
thing that that habit is meant to lead
to but for real like really what do you
care about and for instance here is a
life I pass no judgment on man because
if this is what you want and it like you
love it and you’re filled with
fulfillment it’s amazing great if you
want to sit at home all day and you want
to cut your life to the absolute quick
financially so that you’re living in a
tiny hovel with five other people fine
and you’re eating Tina’s burritos I
don’t even know if they still exist but
when I was way hardcore poor they were
awesome because it was three for 99
cents which was amazing so I could live
off of that and you’re cool you boil it
down to nothing you don’t have a car no
insurance nothing and you accept that my
life is gonna be shorter than it would
otherwise be and what I’m gonna do is
I’m gonna smoke weed a lot and I’m going
to eat bad food a lot man respect like
if you do it with your eyes wide open
you’re loving it you’re having a great
time it just the only reason that you
never hear me talk about that stuff is
from my experience from what I’ve seen
of other people the only thing that
gives the human animal the the best
feeling which is to feel good about
yourself when you’re by yourself is to
do the hard things and to do things that
bring fulfillment and the things that
bring fulfillment are often born of
momentary suffering but they allow you
to get stronger in order to serve other
people that’s it that’s just what I’ve
seen so I don’t think it’s better than
the alternative that I just described
it’s just the only thing that I’ve seen
really lead to that sense of like deep
fulfillment so my thing about the the
specific part about the good habits are
hard to stick with because they’re
boring just you’ve got to attach habits
the things you actually really and truly
care about no one can tell you what to
care about you can certainly build that
into your life you can take something
that’s an interest and build it into
something you care deeply about which
I’ve talked endlessly about so I won’t
go into it here but that is very very
possible associate your habits of that
thing suddenly the habits would be very
easy don’t judge yourself with your life
the way you want but respect the
realities of neuro chemistry
rule number five put in the time I
wanted to spell a myth for you it’s the
it’s the belief that some people were
just born with more than others that
some people are naturally gifted in some
art and that’s just the way the cookie
crumbles and whatever you’re gonna be is
essentially determined by how you
started that your DNA is exactly your
destiny I’m here to tell you right now
that’s it’s just not true it’s
not the truth of the way that humans are
designed as a species were the ultimate
adaptation machine but the very thing
that puts us at the top of the pyramid
is our ability to adapt it is the fact
that the brain is plastic that it
responds to change it responds to
stressors it responds to repetition and
repetition is a slave to obsession as
Conor McGregor said there’s no talent
here this is hard work this is an
obsession you could be anyone if you put
in the time that’s one of the greatest
athletes of our time telling you that
he’s not the result of genetics he’s not
the result of natural gifts he hasn’t
been bestowed something by God he has
shown up day after day in the most
mundane of conditions on the cold days
on the hot days he put in the work
because he was obsessed with what he can
become and that repetition that you need
to actually gain a skill follows that
obsession so in you right now right now
today you want to start building that
obsession you want to look at it like an
ember that can become a raging fire but
it needs your time and attention it
needs your time and
tenshun you’ve got to take that interest
you’ve got to take that spark of desire
and you’ve got to fan the flames you’ve
got to turn it into that obsession and
from that obsession if you put in the
work if you do the things day in and day
out the back-breaking work pushing
through the pain biting through feeling
like an idiot
fighting through embarrassment getting
up brushing yourself off doing it again
practicing putting yourself at
somebody’s feet and asking what could I
have done better not look at the things
you’re doing well but look at the things
we’re doing wrong look at the things
you’re doing already staring at your
inadequacies with no loss of pride
because the only thing you value in
yourself is your willingness to do that
you’re willing is to work your ass off
and as Sylvester Stallone said I’m not
the richest smartest or most talented
I succeed because I keep going and going
and going and that’s the secret rule
number six go step by step I think my
goal may be too big anybody else gonna
chime in on that I write it every day
but it makes me feel heavy daunted and
terrified to pursue it rather than
excited okay that’s powerful have I
chosen my goal poorly or or do I need to
man up okay the dude Brian I love you so
much for this question in in this
question is like everything that people
go through so first of all your goal is
not too big okay
you’re just not yet the person you need
to be to execute against that and that
is absolutely fine I’m not yet the
person I need to be in order to rival
Disney I know that and so every day I’m
waking up not saying am i there yet am i
there yet am i there yet I’m thinking
what’s one really simple thing that I
could do right now today to learn
something that moves me down that path
or who can i partner with you know
what’s the idea that I need to get other
people excited about what I’m doing so
that’s super important so your dream is
never too big even if you said you want
to terraform Mars I’m with you right
that’s our boy Elon Musk is literally
thinking about that so your dream isn’t
too big you just don’t think about like
the end goal and let it overwhelm you
which is what is happening to you you’re
riding it every day okay so you’re
obsessing about that end goal that end
outcome which first of all if that end
outcome is about a thing like the thing
that I think about every day is not
building a studio to rival Disney even
though that’s often what I externalize
to people what I think about internally
the thing that warms my soul is I think
about the people out there that are
extraordinary they could do something
amazing with their lives but they won’t
because they don’t believe in themselves
so what I think about the thing that
drives me that obsesses me and fills me
with excitement and joy to get good
enough to actually do it is helping
people develop an empowering mindset
that’s my obsession the whole rival
Disney thing is a path and I think it’s
the right path and I’m excited to do it
and I love it
but at the end of the day the thing that
keeps me going when I’m feeling
overwhelmed is
helping other people so figure out what
that thing is that huge goal that you
have why you want it because chances are
that you’re gonna be able to do it in
smaller ways along the way as well
so it’s not like this you know 20-year
chasm of binary nothingness where you’re
not at all doing what you want to do and
then suddenly one day it either happens
or it doesn’t like you know winning the
lottery that it’s you know these
incremental steps okay so you write it
down every day start writing down the
the beautiful things you want to bring
into the world and also even that like
you should be spending time what are you
grateful for right now thinking about
what you want to learn thinking about
things that excite you it makes you feel
heavy daunted and terrified to pursue it
okay so if it makes you feel heavy
daunted and terrified to pursue it
because you’re obsessing over the end
goal it’s some like traditional marker
of success money a big company whatever
and not how you want to help people then
it’s just a matter of reframing if on
the other hand is because you think
you’re supposed to want that thing but
you don’t actually want it and so the
idea of pursuing it and all you would
have to do to get there is just
horrifying to you then yes you’ve picked
the wrong goal only you can answer that
question I have no idea which of the two
is true
just remember don’t chase something
because people have told you that you
should want it literally just look at
what gives you more energy than it takes
rule number seven
keep your beliefs nimble when does
confidence become harmful how do you
detect overconfidence that might stop
you from striving to get better every
day okay so I I don’t think that
confidence is ever dangerous what I
think is dangerous is a way of
approaching the world if you value
yourself for being a master if your
confidence comes from I know this stuff
then you’re gonna be in trouble because
I think that the reality is that being a
master feeling like you’re an expert
that stuff is a trap and you need to
keep your beliefs nimble so the more you
learn and the more you need to be
checking yourself to make sure that that
stuff isn’t calcifying into Dogma
meaning that it becomes like I do it
this way and that’s the way I do it
that’s the way I’ve always done it
that’s what my success is based on so
I’m gonna keep doing it that becomes
incredibly dangerous especially now in a
world that changes it evolves so quickly
what worked yesterday may not keep
working tomorrow so you’ve got a Const
be willing to check your assumptions and
I think the easiest way to check your
assumptions is to write them down
writing them down is going to force you
to have clarity on what your assumptions
are so that’s really really important
and I’m going through this right now in
building the studio I have a belief
system about the way that things work I
have a belief system about the way that
marketing works and I’m constantly
trying to check that and so I found that
there were some beliefs that were so
embedded in me I didn’t even realize
anymore that they were beliefs and so
there’s that whole concept of David
Foster Wallace the guy that wrote the
speech this is water look it up on
YouTube right now in fact I don’t even
mind if you bail out of this right now
to go watch it it’s that important to
get this concept burned into your psyche
the fish is the last one to become aware
of the water it is so ubiquitous that
they don’t even realize it’s a thing
that’s what happens with your beliefs
you begin to believe them and
internalize them so much that you forget
at one point that that was something
that you learned or discovered or chose
to believe and so at some point that now
may be holding you back so I find
writing them down so that I’m aware of
what my assumptions are I’m aware of
what my beliefs are then I can go in and
save and this is straight from Tim
Ferriss if you haven’t watched the
episode of impact theory with temper get
out he talks about what if he did the
opposite what if he did the opposite for
24 or 48 hours it’s very easy to
overcome that and back out of it if it
doesn’t work but for 24 or 48 hours just
try it what if you had the opposite
belief what if you approach things in
the opposite manner would you get a
better result and doing that and
checking your beliefs and assumptions
against that can be incredibly powerful
it would certainly open up new vistas
new possible avenues I highly highly
recommend that rule number eight
prioritize properly how you determine
what your top tasks are for any given
day this is a great question already I
have many different to-do items and it’s
hard to know what to prioritize okay so
you’ve got to know what’s my goal where
am i trying to get to you’re gonna back
into the daily tasks okay so now if we
know what we’re looking at our daily
tasks that are meant to feed into some
longer-term goal what we’re looking for
are lead
Domino’s so what are the things like if
I do this then it will have a knock-on
effect so I’ll give you an example one
Lee domino for me is always to delegate
so I’m always starting my day by
thinking what can I delegate because
once I delegate something then it starts
moving on so on my list of important
things one of the sections is to
delegate so doing that that is it’s a
time multiplier it’s a force multiplier
so if I get that going then now we’ll
send that project just running and it’s
essentially like I’ve just added
man-hours to my day so I’m gonna start
with those things I’m gonna make sure
that everybody’s moving doing the things
that they want the next thing is what is
a roadblock an impediment to something
that’s important in my world generating
revenue or building the community those
are the two things that like I really
think about so if I do this thing will
it generate revenue or will it make the
community bigger so those are the two
things that we have to do now ultimately
the reason that I give is I care deeply
about revenue is revenue is the juice
man it is the engine that is going to
allow whatever you’re doing to go on so
making sure that you’re thinking about
things that are actually going to
generate revenue for you and then for us
the community is those are the people
that we want to serve they also give us
a lot of power so thinking about them
but ultimately we won’t be able to serve
them for very long if we’re not able to
get the revenue coming in that we want
and even if we have revenue coming in
and we’re profitable every bit more
revenue that we get because we’re
filtering it back into the company then
we’re just able to serve more and more
people so I’m always looking at those
two things rule number nine break
yourself in half I am literally willing
to do whatever it takes within my code
of ethics to achieve my goals so that’s
what I mean by break myself in half I’m
willing to work literally Monday through
Friday if I’m awake I’m either working
or working out so to the point where I
brush with my brush my teeth with my
headphones on so that I can get the last
little eeks of the day out from the
moment I wake up I go immediately to the
gym I workout and then I immediately do
my morning routine which I’ve gone
through so many times I won’t waste my
time with it now but I go right into
that immediately and that carries me all
the way through so like today
I woke up at what 4:15 so I wake up
around that time every day somewhere
between let’s say 3:00 and 5:00 that’s
my typical wake up window and I’m going
to work or work out from that moment
until I go to bed and I go to bed the
same time every night which is 9:00 p.m.
so somewhere around about 8:45 is when I
begin my nighttime ritual brushing my
teeth and all of that but even then I am
listening to a book or something along
those lines so that is what I mean by
break myself in half and then on the
weekends by the way on a lazy weekend I
probably work five to seven hours a day
and then on a hardcore weekend like last
weekend where I was working literally
until midnight on a Saturday I’ll clock
say 13 14 hours of work that’s on a
weekend so that’s what I mean by break
myself in half now the whole point is
that I’m building something that I
believe in I’m building something that
gives me a deep sense of fulfillment I
believe that not only am i empowering
myself and making myself stronger and
more capable of the things that I want
to do and the things you give me joy and
give me more energy than they take but
that I am doing something that serves a
lot of people that goes way beyond me
and the not-so-secret thing I love the
puzzle of seeing if I can figure out
something that other people can’t figure
out that is a deeply enjoyable pastime
of trying to improve myself to learn
enough to think of the problem in a new
enough way to challenge my own
assumptions to do all of that to be able
to see a problem in a way that nobody
else can to see a solution that nobody
else can see I love doing that so all of
this energy and effort it is in things
that give me more energy than they take
so it’s just a pleasurable existence and
I don’t want to hear people I don’t want
people to hear in what I say that I’m
just like writing it out I tried that I
did that for six and a half years and it
was a total misery so I’m not saying
that I’m saying work that hard in
service of something that you believe in
that makes you feel alive that you love
doing if you do that then breaking
yourself in half that just becomes a
metaphor for the amount of energy that
you’re willing to put into the things
that you believe in and rule number ten
my personal favorite and also the last
one before a very special bonus clip
is change your attitude as Maya Angelou
said if you don’t like something change
it if you can’t change it change your
attitude that’s some of the best advice
you’re ever going to hear at the end of
the day you should always be trying to
change the things that you have the
ability to change there are inevitably
going to be things that you can’t change
but you’re never helpless you’re never a
victim in that moment you still have the
unbelievable ability to choose to look
at it in a new way to choose to reframe
it and in that reframing you change
everything you don’t just change your
own neural chemistry you’re not just
changing the way that you feel you’re
actually changing the way that you’re
going to approach the problem something
that was moments before something that
seemed impossible something that was
breaking your will to continue to fight
with a change in attitude becomes
something completely different and as
hans selye you said adopting the right
attitude can turn a negative stress into
a positive one and that game of mental
jujitsu is what it’s about that game of
flipping something on its head of
turning something around of seeing it in
a new way so that you can act in a new
way is how you make forward progress and
understanding that understanding the
need to take control of your perceptions
understanding that understanding your
need to change your perspective that’s
how you begin to get ahead once you
understand your perspective is a choice
it is not objective truth burn that into
your mind it is not objective truth the
world that you see around you is simply
the perspective through which you see it
all of life is a funhouse mirror
and when you acknowledge that when you
understand that you’re looking at a
distorted view of the way the world is
you realize that you can adopt a
different Distortion you can adopt a
diss or see things more clearly that
allow you to see things in a way that
empower you and that should always be
the first step is figuring out not what
is not what you can change but instead
understanding what you need to change it
to an understanding that that change
comes from inside you it isn’t a
manifestation that you have to make in
the outside world for us it’s a change
you have to make inside yourself it is a
shift of perspective it is simply
stepping to the side of what you’re used
to and how you use the seeing things and
understanding that in reframing things
you take that negative and turn it into
something that builds you up but you’ve
got to choose you’ve got to decide
you’ve got to believe that you can do it
once you believe that you can see things
in any way that you need to to reach
your goals your life will change forever
now I’ve got a really special tongue
bill you bonuses up on how to prime your
mind to think you’re really gonna enjoy
but before that question of the day
which could president more with you
change your attitude or go step by step
let me know in the comments below
change your attitude to go step by step
thank you guys so much for watching I
believe in you I hope we continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love I’ll see you soon
what do you recommend for a person who
isn’t fulfilled in their position to
make sure that they don’t get caught in
a loop of negativity while searching for
something else all right this is all
about mental management
I don’t read like not too long ago oh I
really want to remember who this is
I’m doing them a disservice because this
really impacted me and it was that when
they wake up in the morning one of the
things that they do and I think we may
have already aired the episode of the
person that said this so hopefully one
of you guys can chime in and remind me
who said this but they were saying that
they’ll set their their emotional
intention like the thing that they want
to feel by like putting on a song by
literally saying okay that that’s what
they said now I’m saying what I found
going along with like picking a song or
setting something like that that I
literally just remind myself feel good
be upbeat I know how dumb that sounds
but it literally works like some part of
you in inside at a biological level
knows the mechanisms knows the neuro
chemistry to pump so you don’t have to
like think about what neurotransmitter
is you want to pump you literally just
remind yourself feel good feel good and
I find it always changes my posture so
I’m gonna do something with my body so
for those that are listening and not
watching I’m gonna sit up taller I’m
going to put my shoulders back I’m going
to smile a little
even if I’m all by myself I put what I
call a hint of a smile on my face and in
doing that it is so weird how those
physical hooks actually start to change
your neural chemistry and then if I
really need to or want to just for fun
to have that energy I will put on a song
that really gets me in a fun place that
song which normally works isn’t working
that day I will skip and find another
one but in just reminding yourself to
feel that way in making the demand of
yourself from a playful fun place that I
can literally right now in this moment
choose to exist in a state of happiness
of going through gratitude all of those
things will work to prime your mind to
feel that stuff
if you tell yourself a story long enough
you start to believe it don’t you
believe it you act like I have Tulsa
what a whale out of handcuffed lightning
throw thunder in jail now you know I’m
bad over the last week I murdered a rock
into the stone hospitalized a brick I’m
so mean I make medicine sick the
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