whether you’re trying to change someone
from being means and ice or what are you
trying to get rid of addiction it’s the
same steps unvoiced in the back way
towards the back part of the table
probably the furthest part of the table
is why he probably said it one of the
other executives said that is this man’s
name the chairman was Jean he says Jean
how are you doing on that anger stuff
with your therapist all right and John
goes well we’ve been working on it for
years as you know and I just I think
we’ve made some progress but I’m just
that kind of person and you can see they
had pride in the fact that he could be
abusive because it gave him a sense that
he was powerful that he was significant
and so this person said well you know
Jean and the person who said this is the
person invited me to dinner you start to
get the picture he says well you know
Jean mr. Robbins is considered to be the
best therapist in all of America he’s
able to create change and lightning like
speed aren’t you mr. almonds all of a
sudden I understood why I was invited to
dinner so he saw no no mr. Robbins I
would never never take up your time but
this wonderful dinner would be so unfair
to you and everything else he said but
Miss Robbins what would you do and I
said well you know you’re right sir I
said you know I you’re not my patient so
you know I couldn’t work with you I said
but if you weren’t I said what I do is I
would not talk to you like have you
freely associated on your back about
your childhood and that’s why you’re
hangry and stuff I said what I would do
is actually train your nervous system to
change so it really would he said really
how would you do that
that’s all the opening I needed
I said well I’d say do you remember what
you said to that man over there earlier
he said no I said sure you do remember
you’re calling those four-letter word
you’re saying this you’re saying that
you kind of enjoyed it a little bit it
looked like you whoa yes hey we shot on
watch yeah my him as hard as I could in
the show anyway what are you doing
what are you doing I said I’m showing
you what I would do if you were my
patient but you’re not my patient so I
would never do that right and the people
seem like right and I’m looking at
smiling and as I do this he doesn’t know
the process because I’m not looking mean
I’m just gonna that’s what I do if
you’re my patient but you’re not so I’d
never do that he did receive people when
they’re totally confused they like
search every quadrant of their brain so
now what am I gone massively interrupted
his pattern and gotten major what
leverage yeah you can talk to your blue
in the face that’s gonna change this guy
he said wow that was painful I said
that’s the idea so if I was your
therapist that’s cutting I do and I do
it enough so you would never do it again
ever
Brian he’s like oh that would be yeah I
can see that might work I don’t know it
we were
it’s matter of fact never what you said
to your wife anyone know
I assure you my one who I am twice
there’s like stop that stop fat slice to
stop what he said what he made one
that’s the way you just did I said oh
I’m just showing you what I would do if
you’re my patient but you’re not my
patient so I would never do that and if
you want a like somewhat true story no
exaggeration say y’all you didn’t really
hit I really did if any of you know some
my therapy examples you know I will do
whatever it takes so you come to see me
you’re gonna change okay cuz I have
unlimited choice I don’t have all the
rules that the traditional therapist has
about not intervening too much my job is
you asked for it you got it all right
you’re gonna get it so this guy now he’s
like shaking from this thing goes wow I
can really see how that would work I
said is there anybody else you’ve been
abusive to recently no no no so now what
have I done
I got leverage and I’ve interrupted his
both of those things so the last step
step number three is this once you got
the leverage once you interrupt the
pattern third step is you must create an
empowering alternative you must create
an empowering alternative in other words
an alternative pattern you can’t just
stop smoking you got to start doing
something else and what most people do
is they stop smoking and start eating so
that’s why you got to find an empowering
alternative so creative opportunity I
can’t just say stop yelling at people
because his yelling at people gives him
a sense of certainty that they’ll listen
to him and that they’ll change how many
follow that so if we just say don’t do
that then we’ve not met the need that he
used to get we want to meet the need
more elegantly if you’re smoking it’s
probably cuz you’re stress and when you
smoke you take deep diaphragmatic breath
so you get out of stress but most people
are stressed they stop breathing or they
breathe very shallowly when you have
very low oxygen that adds a smidge to
your stress so cigarettes now while
there’s a physical addiction what made
it happen initially was
relaxed you so you don’t want to just
stop smoking and be stressed you have
something else that relaxed you so what
a lot of people do is they eat tons of
food the stomach fills up and all the
blood rushes in there and they start
breathing their diaphragm again but
there are better alternatives that make
sense so you got to come up with an
empowering alternative and once you do
it and reinforce it reinforce it how do
you reinforce something you notice it
you give it pleasure you acknowledge it
you reward it so you might want to use
the word reward it and reinforce it or
reward it until it becomes habit until
it becomes habit so you got to create an
empowering alternative and you got to
reinforce it until it becomes habit once
it’s a habit you’re set but how do you
do this well the secret to reinforcing
something is give it pleasure give it
rewards so you’ll start changing to
avoid pain but after a while you just go
back to it even though it’s painful all
adjust to it but see what what will last
will creates lasting changes when you do
something and you’re rewarded for it
when you give yourself rewards you feel
happy you feel proud of yourself you
feel sense of excitement or freedom or
more love you get that reinforcement on
regular basis pretty soon it just
becomes who you are that’s what we want
to do and so that’s what I did with him
so a year later sorry I haven’t come for
these alternates out of communicating
throughout the night when we started
communicate with somebody did something
right I caught him doing it right and
I’d say no John I want to say something
you do you see Bob’s face over here the
way you just interact with him so you
can try and force him to do something or
make him fear you and he’ll do a little
bit but people we do so much out of fear
they do the minimum out of fear but when
they love you and they care about you
when they feel respected by you they’ll
do anything for you this guy really
would do anything for look at this face
right now doesn’t that feel better
and I stopped make him stop and notice
so he wasn’t unconscious they’d see
honestly it really does he said Bob I
really do care about you
and these great anchors happen that
night where I kept reinforcing and
reinforcing and reinforcing it so he had
plenty of alternatives and he saw it
gave him more of what he wanted in the
old behavior so now I come back a year
and a half maybe later and I do the
seminar things go gray and the same guy
afterward says mister
Robbins would you like to come to dinner
and I look at him and he is he like I
can’t tell if he’s you know got
something or not so I said sure
same restaurant same room same
everything sit down you table I’m gonna
sit next to John chance great to have
you back everything’s warm it was
wonderful he seems really happy
everybody’s great I’m thinking wow this
is cool it all worked right and then
maybe 15 minutes into sitting there
almost done John comes across and starts
screaming at this person against the
table and I can just feel every part of
my body going obviously didn’t break the
pattern strong enough I’m gonna do it
this time and I just feel my face right
tight enough and also he turns over he
goes gotcha and everybody hopefully
start laughing it was a setup and they
all went around the table and they
acknowledged me and they call John and
talked about he’s never been the same
since his wife is never the same he’s
such an incredibly warm and loving man
now for that process yeah just from that
piece
now whether you’re trying to change
someone from being mean to nice or what
are you trying to get rid of addiction
it’s the same stuff so for example when
I first built my career I get on radio
and television in Canada and I launched
my cursing I don’t care what your
problem is I’ll handle it so I got all
kinds of things but one of my first
therapies ever was a smoking therapy now
bear in mind I’m staying at the Westin
Hotel in place called Vancouver British
Columbia Canada anybody been there it’s
magnificent place nothing there as
pretty as any city in the world I think
and so I’m there and I’m staying this
hotel and it’s beautiful it’s wonderful
I’m waiting in my room for my first real
major therapy and it’s a smoking therapy
and I look at my watch the guy doesn’t
show up and I look he hasn’t show up
look gonna show up so then I think well
you know no one knew my face in those
days or even knew my name so maybe he
forgot my name and he’s at the hotel
something I’ll go downstairs to see if
he’s in the lobby so as I glanced to
exit my door of my room right outside
the doors disguise to do puffing like
crazy so I said are you Bob he said yeah
I said Bob well he doing out here just
having my last cigarette now what does
that tell me that tells me he wings
pain to stopping smoking not pain to
smoking as long as he thinks stopping
smoking is gonna be painful it’s not
gonna work we have to change that what
we call neural Association it’s a big
word it means what he associates in his
nervous system in his gut right not when
he has in his head in his head he knows
better but in his gut his neuro
associations are rigged that stopping
Smokey’s painful that’s why he’s never
done it before
so he wants me to do this painful thing
to him that won’t work so I think at a
moment’s notice I come up with an idea
and I said come with me and we don’t go
my room we start walking to the hose
where we going instead downstairs
I wanted you to some private eye so we
will follow me we get on the elevator go
downstairs and I haven’t been there in
about 2 or 3 years but even 2 or 3 years
ago in this day and age or very few
people seem to smoke in public at the
Western Hotel they still have a tobacco
shop there and so we go down this
tobacco shop and as you go in the smells
are everywhere so when people smell
smell the smells they go into state
rights this guy’s a state right he’s got
a cigarettes back
he’s one happy camper so I said what
brand you smoke so he tells me I said
great
me 12 cartons the guy looks when he goes
12 cards to see you have 12 cards okay
goes looks the 12 gotta see ya pay the
man pay the man he pays them so now I
said pick him up so he’s got six cartons
here six cartons here we’re walking down
the hall I’ll never forget his face we
get on the elevator the door closes he’s
holding all these current cigarettes he
looks at me and says you’re not gonna
make me smoke these are you I said now
we’re making progress now he’s linking
pain to smoking already how many follow
this AI so we go sit in the room and a
lot of times when you’re trying to
change help us how to make a change the
problem is you’re changing a part of
them just need to change like a part of
them that’s really great you need to get
them in there smoking state and change
that part of them so I said go and open
all the cartons pull out all the
cigarettes and unwrap every one and put
one cigarette so it’s accessible so you
could just grab it real easily and while
you’re doing that tell me why you
started smoking so he goes okay so it’s
under the carton says he does he kind of
gets in space smells the cigarettes
starts undoing and he goes to the state
right he starts telling me well when I
start out I really didn’t want to smoke
but all my friends did and it was like
the cool thing to do and he’s going in a
state right and so I said okay well
light one up he looked in England what
do you like what if I came here to stop
I said you know but you really want one
so
he went well no I I don’t want what I
want to stop I said light without room
right now it’s acting crazy really no
you understand me
now he’s smuggling he’s freaked out now
imagine these and the feelings tuna
casserole mixing with smoking you get
the idea
don’t you why don’t you why I don’t want
to smoke as soon as she said that I like
transform acted insane he’s freaking
equities walked in a room doesn’t say
anything right so sweetest I don’t wanna
do this I’d say you don’t want to smoke
I’d act really calm again ego no I said
well then do whatever you want to do cuz
I will put it out I said light up two
more freaking out of his mind
let me scream as that calls up there
cool finally eventually he’s gonna girl
like who’s though you’re like what you
wanna smoke what’s that oh oh well then
do whatever you want to do
it’s like what I want to put them out I
said go ahead really sure puts them out
you get a C’s afraid right but some I
said light up six more it’s like no I
line up sex bar down I go ten times
crazy come on every one of them
suck on them how does that feel
finally at the point I said light up
five more I had a whole ashtray filled
with half smoked serious but there’s no
she’s breathing
smokers face hating it right battled FBI
right I said word up another we said no
I think you’re on right now
no you can’t make me smoke
now we broke the pattern so then when
you get an alternative so he went
outside he dumped his cigarettes over
the side down into the ocean I wouldn’t
do that now but he did it and he blew
his nose holes black soot came out right
just all over the place in his
handkerchief right boiling its nose
blowing his nose you know and I did two
guys I was in the room taking it all in
also it’s a terrible way of doing stuff
I was laundry since I stopped doing
eventually came up with a different
technique cuz I was gonna have cancer
doing all these therapies on these
people right and so he goes up there
nice breathe fresh air and the fresh air
feels so good then he comes up with the
alternative and conditioning it works
now you got to vary your technique for
various things because once I found
something work you know you tend to do
Delano because it works but how to
create momentum is really a science it’s
not difficult but it is a science it’s a
step-by-step process and when you
understand how to do it you can create
momentum anytime you want momentum in
your business momentum and your emotions
momentum in your career momentum in your
relationships doesn’t matter what area
of your life what’s the source of power
within you or your organization they can
turn around virtually anything in a
matter of moments and the answer that of
course is momentum now when you think
about what does it take to succeed
there’s so many things you can talk
about what it takes to succeed in any
situation but one thing that is
universal to succeeding in any situation
as you must take the first step and
that’s the one that most people don’t do
they study it they think about it they
fret about it they complain about it but
rarely do they take the first step and I
want to do that I want to make sure that
if you never heard another word I said
for the rest of your life and you want
to improve anything you’d know what to
do first because we do the first thing
you’ll likely come up with a second
third and fourth thing it’s just a
natural part of momentum will help to
create that happening so what is that
first step for me I’m gonna work on an
athlete or a business person or a
financial trader or a politician just no
matter what the context is their game is
not where they want it to be whether
their games going well and they want to
make it better there’s one place I go
first always and that is I put them in a
pink what the reason is because until
you put somebody – Peaks pay everything
you’re gonna get is going to be less
than who they are and what they’re
capable of
so I want to get them that peak state so
for example I met Andre Agassi for the
first time years ago he was like 50th in
the world or something like that and
what happened was Andre has certain
mindset and he came in and he had kind
of an attitude with me and I said look
Andre I said the bottom line is you give
me 15 minutes of your total attention if
no subpoena that you do and asked to do
you don’t feel an immediate radical
change then blow me off let’s move on
let’s not waste any time so what I do
basically was I gave him examples for
videos that I’d seen of him I’d say okay
here’s where you won the Wimbledon that
was when he’s at his best here’s a guy
that been as good as anybody in the game
and you watch him right and I show him
and this guy’s walking out in the court
it’s before he cut his hair and he walks
out like this right and he looks at cars
crossed the court like this the guy in
the other side of the court I said what
were you thinking at that moment
he said I don’t know what I was thinking
I said what were you thinking he starts
thinking of this guy why did you even
show up right now it’s not a certain
state now that state you don’t think
about okay it’s my backhand gonna be
okay right because what happens is when
you’re in your best you don’t think
about how to do it you just do it don’t
you it just flows that’s a big thing so
I said okay here’s the French Open he
walks out like Don Knotts looks over at
the other guy’s just look in his face
were you thinking then he said I
remember the last time he beat me so
what I do is I change is stay anchored
it showed him a couple ways to trigger
it was very fundamental and in less than
six months he was number one in the
world the honor he’s gone back down and
up again after got injured recently and
I was talking to Brooke about it she
goes his pride says he’s got to do it
himself this time again which I’m sure
he has the ability to do but sometimes
people just don’t manage that state they
don’t go there first they work on their
game they’re working on their state say
I don’t know anything about the game but
I know everything about human psychology
would affects every game that’s the
power that’s the linkage so what we want
to do from this day forward is if you
want to get better to anything if you
want to suddenly be better in your
performance of business if you suddenly
want to be more passionate in your
relationship if you want to make an
improvement in your study habits if you
want to help your kids more the first
step to any of those things is always
the same put yourself in a what in a
peak state it’s gonna be step number one
no matter what we do now here’s the good
news there’s basically two things you’ll
change to change your state in a moment
you’ll change either your
and what kind of changing the physiology
what kind radical change or you will
change your or both right and you know
how to do it so let’s very quickly first
see that I’ll walk you through the whole
thing first so once you get yourself in
a peak state that’s kind of like priming
the pump ever got yourself into Peaks
like a ramp and you’re there for a while
then gradually you come back to the
Kryptonite Clark Kent that you were
before all right how many to experience
this being a peak State and then
gradually dropping down say I the reason
you dropped down is you didn’t keep
momentum going by going to the second
element and that is you must find your
passion
what does that mean it means you gotta
discover what do you love what do you
really love what excites you what juices
you what do you hate cuz I got news for
you people are driven only about what
they want but also what they don’t want
very often people come to me and they’ll
say well I don’t know what I want to do
for my career
I’ll say well drew describe me the ideal
job I don’t know what it is I’ll say
okay great
describe to me the job you at Hayes
subscribe to me right now our job
describe the environment you would hate
to be and the people you hate to be
around the kind of work you would hate
to do right kinda money even hate to me
you look through the whole thing and
when they’re all done they have no
problem scrubbing what they hate and
they get passionate about what they are
I hate this like that all this energy is
coming out of it then I said okay great
look at that you Haven yeah now right
the opposite and you have the job for
heaven you have your ideal so you can
get to a person’s drive through what
they love do what they hate what excites
them to it drives them and very often
I’ll ask people or what do you want they
don’t I don’t know if I knew that I
could get it all worked out I really
don’t know and the reason they don’t
know is because you’re asking in this
state see it’s like trying to walk in
this thing not gonna happen so the
reason you’re not getting the answer is
you are not putting yourself in a state
of total certainty so by putting
yourself in a Peake’s think people I’m
saying what I want to say stand tall
breathe strong
now if you knew what you want what you
said was though they tell you
immediately cuz all you’ve done is put
in the state where the answers really
are there it’s all you got to do third
part once you’re in state that’s like
priming the pump right remember in the
old days if you want to get the out of
the well the water you got to feed it
something first so putting yourself in
state feeds it
but to get to the well you find your
passion and the well of passion is never
ending paint you lot of things excites
things you hate but once you find that
passion that’ll go for a long time but
you venture to keep momentum going you
have to take that passion and do
something with it so step three is you
must decide commit and resolve what
you’re gonna do with it and that’s what
keeps the momentum going otherwise
you’re just passionate for a long time
and then gradually that’ll just date and
by the way those are three different
experiences decision committing and
resolving they are different emotions
and they’re all three critical if you’re
gonna actually follow through on your
decision step four for momentum is you
must get yourself to take mass of what
that’s right because the only way a
decision is real is if you act upon it
if you don’t have to bond it you make a
decision you’ll lose momentum and then
finally when you start taking action
you’ll start getting results and now you
want to be smart and smart is an acronym
for you want to make sure your strategy
is really working remember you want to
have sensory acuity isn’t working or not
you want to measure it you want assess
is it giving you what you want and if it
is you want to reinforce it and take new
action and that keeps the momentum going
and then you’ll see in the middle of
circle there are some forces that will
either accelerate or break your progress
and that is emotion certain emotions
will speed it up more passionate right
more intensity certain emotions like
fear will slow it down to a break your
progress of momentum same thing is true
with focusing your power when you
concentrate all your focus on something
it accelerates that if it’s something
good if you focus on your greatest fear
it’s gonna starving down same thing as
modeling but I want to speed up my
momentum well then I can learn by
someone else’s experience when I had no
money I mean none I couldn’t make my own
bills I could make my rent I would take
my money and go to a seminar or take
somebody’s lunch she was brilliant
picked their brain because I realized
I’m always not gonna have money for rent
until I make a radical change in my
understanding skill in psychology and I
don’t want to wait forever I gotta get
it now so I would stretch to get the
resources of someone else when I
couldn’t possibly do it because I
understood that a big part of my life
came about from saying I want to
compress decades into days don’t only do
that let’s get those resources and that
sped up my momentum gave me the power of
modeling another one there is synergy
how through synergy you can speed things
up and lastly the power of environment
but
I see what he really wants what are you
committed to now once you’ve got those
emotions brewing it’s a lot easier to do
what all change comes from which is to
make a real one
decision because if you look at your
life you want to see why your life is
the way it is the parts of your life you
love and maybe the parts of your life
you’re not as thrilled with you can
really define why your life is there if
you really look at your life by your
decisions he said no no no that’s the
way God made it well that may be true
but God has made lots of people have the
same experience but what you took out of
that experience was your conscious
choice or unconscious choice you decided
and so if you look at your life I bet
you could look at the last 10 years of
your life for example maybe last 15 I’d
be willing to bet there are places along
the way that if you would have made a
different decision your life would be
radically different than it is right now
better or worse I don’t know but you
probably do but it certainly be
different
how many would agree with that say I am
a lot of times those decisions we don’t
think much about sometimes the decisions
like what we’re gonna do for a living or
where we’re gonna live or who are gonna
spend time with or who we’re gonna marry
or they’re gonna have children all right
what we’re gonna believe those choices
have shaped who you are and so if you
want to transform the quality of your
life there is only one power on its
decision but most people have not made a
decision so long like a real decision I
mean a tough one where it’s hard you
make yourself do it they kind of like
Express preferences and kind of see if
it works out they put it in a mode
and decision made from a should is not a
real decision because you don’t act on
it you do it for a little while you
never really not only decide but they
commit and really resolve but no matter
what you’re gonna make it happen that’s
different than just deciding in the
moment right that’s not a real decision
that’s the preference you’re expressing
so if you think about that then there
are decisions along the way that shaped
your life radically and then you want to
shave your life you want to take control
of that power that your Creator has
given you and you got to do it
consciously because otherwise what
happens is you just go with the flow and
then going the flow sounds really nice
but the problem is you get to the fork
in the river and you haven’t decided
clearly you go with the flow well the
flow of water the strongest flow goes to
where the falls are
and one day you wake up you know three
feet from Niagara Falls and a boat with
no oars you go oh shoot at that point
it’s a little late so we want to do is
get really conscious about decision
making but again you want to do it from
a big state I had a friend that for
years drove this old horrible car he
hated they kept doing it because his
belief was that God wanted to be poor
and his kids hated it they make him drop
him off walk from school he made a
decision to believe that God wanted him
to be abundant and his first act that he
did his committed act as you took out a
shotgun and blew up as many holes in
that car as he could say I will never
drive this car again and neither will
anyone else commit an act momentum comes
when you not only decide but you take
immediate action what immediate action
are you gonna take to demonstrate you
meaning who you’re gonna tell what are
you gonna do what’s the first thing it
is simple then what’s a big thing you
could do that commits you here it shows
this means business action is momentum
what action would you take immediately
to create more momentum now to back up
your decision with power think it’s a
little decision a little action rather
on your decision once a big one you do
that would just be like this is it maybe
and feel good feel good to take
committing acts wouldn’t it it takes you
beyond decision it takes you to total
momentum action power results now if you
remember this momentum model we said
that the steps were that you had to
first put yourself in a be quite step to
is once you’re in that beat state to
keep it going you got to find your what
do you love what he hate would excite
you what drives you want you there you
must take immediate make I should say
you must make an immediate decision
right he’s gonna use that emotion to do
something worthwhile and then you want
to take decision to committing and
resolving how many can feel the
difference when let’s resolve say I then
you must take immediate massive
intelligent what that’s right then all
you’ll do is be smart will just notice
your strategy if it’s working or not
it’s working reinforce it it’ll keep
let’s not change your approach what if
that doesn’t work what do you do if that
doesn’t work what do you do whole time
using your sensory community keep
changing till you get what you want
period
you
from being means and ice or what are you
trying to get rid of addiction it’s the
same steps unvoiced in the back way
towards the back part of the table
probably the furthest part of the table
is why he probably said it one of the
other executives said that is this man’s
name the chairman was Jean he says Jean
how are you doing on that anger stuff
with your therapist all right and John
goes well we’ve been working on it for
years as you know and I just I think
we’ve made some progress but I’m just
that kind of person and you can see they
had pride in the fact that he could be
abusive because it gave him a sense that
he was powerful that he was significant
and so this person said well you know
Jean and the person who said this is the
person invited me to dinner you start to
get the picture he says well you know
Jean mr. Robbins is considered to be the
best therapist in all of America he’s
able to create change and lightning like
speed aren’t you mr. almonds all of a
sudden I understood why I was invited to
dinner so he saw no no mr. Robbins I
would never never take up your time but
this wonderful dinner would be so unfair
to you and everything else he said but
Miss Robbins what would you do and I
said well you know you’re right sir I
said you know I you’re not my patient so
you know I couldn’t work with you I said
but if you weren’t I said what I do is I
would not talk to you like have you
freely associated on your back about
your childhood and that’s why you’re
hangry and stuff I said what I would do
is actually train your nervous system to
change so it really would he said really
how would you do that
that’s all the opening I needed
I said well I’d say do you remember what
you said to that man over there earlier
he said no I said sure you do remember
you’re calling those four-letter word
you’re saying this you’re saying that
you kind of enjoyed it a little bit it
looked like you whoa yes hey we shot on
watch yeah my him as hard as I could in
the show anyway what are you doing
what are you doing I said I’m showing
you what I would do if you were my
patient but you’re not my patient so I
would never do that right and the people
seem like right and I’m looking at
smiling and as I do this he doesn’t know
the process because I’m not looking mean
I’m just gonna that’s what I do if
you’re my patient but you’re not so I’d
never do that he did receive people when
they’re totally confused they like
search every quadrant of their brain so
now what am I gone massively interrupted
his pattern and gotten major what
leverage yeah you can talk to your blue
in the face that’s gonna change this guy
he said wow that was painful I said
that’s the idea so if I was your
therapist that’s cutting I do and I do
it enough so you would never do it again
ever
Brian he’s like oh that would be yeah I
can see that might work I don’t know it
we were
it’s matter of fact never what you said
to your wife anyone know
I assure you my one who I am twice
there’s like stop that stop fat slice to
stop what he said what he made one
that’s the way you just did I said oh
I’m just showing you what I would do if
you’re my patient but you’re not my
patient so I would never do that and if
you want a like somewhat true story no
exaggeration say y’all you didn’t really
hit I really did if any of you know some
my therapy examples you know I will do
whatever it takes so you come to see me
you’re gonna change okay cuz I have
unlimited choice I don’t have all the
rules that the traditional therapist has
about not intervening too much my job is
you asked for it you got it all right
you’re gonna get it so this guy now he’s
like shaking from this thing goes wow I
can really see how that would work I
said is there anybody else you’ve been
abusive to recently no no no so now what
have I done
I got leverage and I’ve interrupted his
both of those things so the last step
step number three is this once you got
the leverage once you interrupt the
pattern third step is you must create an
empowering alternative you must create
an empowering alternative in other words
an alternative pattern you can’t just
stop smoking you got to start doing
something else and what most people do
is they stop smoking and start eating so
that’s why you got to find an empowering
alternative so creative opportunity I
can’t just say stop yelling at people
because his yelling at people gives him
a sense of certainty that they’ll listen
to him and that they’ll change how many
follow that so if we just say don’t do
that then we’ve not met the need that he
used to get we want to meet the need
more elegantly if you’re smoking it’s
probably cuz you’re stress and when you
smoke you take deep diaphragmatic breath
so you get out of stress but most people
are stressed they stop breathing or they
breathe very shallowly when you have
very low oxygen that adds a smidge to
your stress so cigarettes now while
there’s a physical addiction what made
it happen initially was
relaxed you so you don’t want to just
stop smoking and be stressed you have
something else that relaxed you so what
a lot of people do is they eat tons of
food the stomach fills up and all the
blood rushes in there and they start
breathing their diaphragm again but
there are better alternatives that make
sense so you got to come up with an
empowering alternative and once you do
it and reinforce it reinforce it how do
you reinforce something you notice it
you give it pleasure you acknowledge it
you reward it so you might want to use
the word reward it and reinforce it or
reward it until it becomes habit until
it becomes habit so you got to create an
empowering alternative and you got to
reinforce it until it becomes habit once
it’s a habit you’re set but how do you
do this well the secret to reinforcing
something is give it pleasure give it
rewards so you’ll start changing to
avoid pain but after a while you just go
back to it even though it’s painful all
adjust to it but see what what will last
will creates lasting changes when you do
something and you’re rewarded for it
when you give yourself rewards you feel
happy you feel proud of yourself you
feel sense of excitement or freedom or
more love you get that reinforcement on
regular basis pretty soon it just
becomes who you are that’s what we want
to do and so that’s what I did with him
so a year later sorry I haven’t come for
these alternates out of communicating
throughout the night when we started
communicate with somebody did something
right I caught him doing it right and
I’d say no John I want to say something
you do you see Bob’s face over here the
way you just interact with him so you
can try and force him to do something or
make him fear you and he’ll do a little
bit but people we do so much out of fear
they do the minimum out of fear but when
they love you and they care about you
when they feel respected by you they’ll
do anything for you this guy really
would do anything for look at this face
right now doesn’t that feel better
and I stopped make him stop and notice
so he wasn’t unconscious they’d see
honestly it really does he said Bob I
really do care about you
and these great anchors happen that
night where I kept reinforcing and
reinforcing and reinforcing it so he had
plenty of alternatives and he saw it
gave him more of what he wanted in the
old behavior so now I come back a year
and a half maybe later and I do the
seminar things go gray and the same guy
afterward says mister
Robbins would you like to come to dinner
and I look at him and he is he like I
can’t tell if he’s you know got
something or not so I said sure
same restaurant same room same
everything sit down you table I’m gonna
sit next to John chance great to have
you back everything’s warm it was
wonderful he seems really happy
everybody’s great I’m thinking wow this
is cool it all worked right and then
maybe 15 minutes into sitting there
almost done John comes across and starts
screaming at this person against the
table and I can just feel every part of
my body going obviously didn’t break the
pattern strong enough I’m gonna do it
this time and I just feel my face right
tight enough and also he turns over he
goes gotcha and everybody hopefully
start laughing it was a setup and they
all went around the table and they
acknowledged me and they call John and
talked about he’s never been the same
since his wife is never the same he’s
such an incredibly warm and loving man
now for that process yeah just from that
piece
now whether you’re trying to change
someone from being mean to nice or what
are you trying to get rid of addiction
it’s the same stuff so for example when
I first built my career I get on radio
and television in Canada and I launched
my cursing I don’t care what your
problem is I’ll handle it so I got all
kinds of things but one of my first
therapies ever was a smoking therapy now
bear in mind I’m staying at the Westin
Hotel in place called Vancouver British
Columbia Canada anybody been there it’s
magnificent place nothing there as
pretty as any city in the world I think
and so I’m there and I’m staying this
hotel and it’s beautiful it’s wonderful
I’m waiting in my room for my first real
major therapy and it’s a smoking therapy
and I look at my watch the guy doesn’t
show up and I look he hasn’t show up
look gonna show up so then I think well
you know no one knew my face in those
days or even knew my name so maybe he
forgot my name and he’s at the hotel
something I’ll go downstairs to see if
he’s in the lobby so as I glanced to
exit my door of my room right outside
the doors disguise to do puffing like
crazy so I said are you Bob he said yeah
I said Bob well he doing out here just
having my last cigarette now what does
that tell me that tells me he wings
pain to stopping smoking not pain to
smoking as long as he thinks stopping
smoking is gonna be painful it’s not
gonna work we have to change that what
we call neural Association it’s a big
word it means what he associates in his
nervous system in his gut right not when
he has in his head in his head he knows
better but in his gut his neuro
associations are rigged that stopping
Smokey’s painful that’s why he’s never
done it before
so he wants me to do this painful thing
to him that won’t work so I think at a
moment’s notice I come up with an idea
and I said come with me and we don’t go
my room we start walking to the hose
where we going instead downstairs
I wanted you to some private eye so we
will follow me we get on the elevator go
downstairs and I haven’t been there in
about 2 or 3 years but even 2 or 3 years
ago in this day and age or very few
people seem to smoke in public at the
Western Hotel they still have a tobacco
shop there and so we go down this
tobacco shop and as you go in the smells
are everywhere so when people smell
smell the smells they go into state
rights this guy’s a state right he’s got
a cigarettes back
he’s one happy camper so I said what
brand you smoke so he tells me I said
great
me 12 cartons the guy looks when he goes
12 cards to see you have 12 cards okay
goes looks the 12 gotta see ya pay the
man pay the man he pays them so now I
said pick him up so he’s got six cartons
here six cartons here we’re walking down
the hall I’ll never forget his face we
get on the elevator the door closes he’s
holding all these current cigarettes he
looks at me and says you’re not gonna
make me smoke these are you I said now
we’re making progress now he’s linking
pain to smoking already how many follow
this AI so we go sit in the room and a
lot of times when you’re trying to
change help us how to make a change the
problem is you’re changing a part of
them just need to change like a part of
them that’s really great you need to get
them in there smoking state and change
that part of them so I said go and open
all the cartons pull out all the
cigarettes and unwrap every one and put
one cigarette so it’s accessible so you
could just grab it real easily and while
you’re doing that tell me why you
started smoking so he goes okay so it’s
under the carton says he does he kind of
gets in space smells the cigarettes
starts undoing and he goes to the state
right he starts telling me well when I
start out I really didn’t want to smoke
but all my friends did and it was like
the cool thing to do and he’s going in a
state right and so I said okay well
light one up he looked in England what
do you like what if I came here to stop
I said you know but you really want one
so
he went well no I I don’t want what I
want to stop I said light without room
right now it’s acting crazy really no
you understand me
now he’s smuggling he’s freaked out now
imagine these and the feelings tuna
casserole mixing with smoking you get
the idea
don’t you why don’t you why I don’t want
to smoke as soon as she said that I like
transform acted insane he’s freaking
equities walked in a room doesn’t say
anything right so sweetest I don’t wanna
do this I’d say you don’t want to smoke
I’d act really calm again ego no I said
well then do whatever you want to do cuz
I will put it out I said light up two
more freaking out of his mind
let me scream as that calls up there
cool finally eventually he’s gonna girl
like who’s though you’re like what you
wanna smoke what’s that oh oh well then
do whatever you want to do
it’s like what I want to put them out I
said go ahead really sure puts them out
you get a C’s afraid right but some I
said light up six more it’s like no I
line up sex bar down I go ten times
crazy come on every one of them
suck on them how does that feel
finally at the point I said light up
five more I had a whole ashtray filled
with half smoked serious but there’s no
she’s breathing
smokers face hating it right battled FBI
right I said word up another we said no
I think you’re on right now
no you can’t make me smoke
now we broke the pattern so then when
you get an alternative so he went
outside he dumped his cigarettes over
the side down into the ocean I wouldn’t
do that now but he did it and he blew
his nose holes black soot came out right
just all over the place in his
handkerchief right boiling its nose
blowing his nose you know and I did two
guys I was in the room taking it all in
also it’s a terrible way of doing stuff
I was laundry since I stopped doing
eventually came up with a different
technique cuz I was gonna have cancer
doing all these therapies on these
people right and so he goes up there
nice breathe fresh air and the fresh air
feels so good then he comes up with the
alternative and conditioning it works
now you got to vary your technique for
various things because once I found
something work you know you tend to do
Delano because it works but how to
create momentum is really a science it’s
not difficult but it is a science it’s a
step-by-step process and when you
understand how to do it you can create
momentum anytime you want momentum in
your business momentum and your emotions
momentum in your career momentum in your
relationships doesn’t matter what area
of your life what’s the source of power
within you or your organization they can
turn around virtually anything in a
matter of moments and the answer that of
course is momentum now when you think
about what does it take to succeed
there’s so many things you can talk
about what it takes to succeed in any
situation but one thing that is
universal to succeeding in any situation
as you must take the first step and
that’s the one that most people don’t do
they study it they think about it they
fret about it they complain about it but
rarely do they take the first step and I
want to do that I want to make sure that
if you never heard another word I said
for the rest of your life and you want
to improve anything you’d know what to
do first because we do the first thing
you’ll likely come up with a second
third and fourth thing it’s just a
natural part of momentum will help to
create that happening so what is that
first step for me I’m gonna work on an
athlete or a business person or a
financial trader or a politician just no
matter what the context is their game is
not where they want it to be whether
their games going well and they want to
make it better there’s one place I go
first always and that is I put them in a
pink what the reason is because until
you put somebody – Peaks pay everything
you’re gonna get is going to be less
than who they are and what they’re
capable of
so I want to get them that peak state so
for example I met Andre Agassi for the
first time years ago he was like 50th in
the world or something like that and
what happened was Andre has certain
mindset and he came in and he had kind
of an attitude with me and I said look
Andre I said the bottom line is you give
me 15 minutes of your total attention if
no subpoena that you do and asked to do
you don’t feel an immediate radical
change then blow me off let’s move on
let’s not waste any time so what I do
basically was I gave him examples for
videos that I’d seen of him I’d say okay
here’s where you won the Wimbledon that
was when he’s at his best here’s a guy
that been as good as anybody in the game
and you watch him right and I show him
and this guy’s walking out in the court
it’s before he cut his hair and he walks
out like this right and he looks at cars
crossed the court like this the guy in
the other side of the court I said what
were you thinking at that moment
he said I don’t know what I was thinking
I said what were you thinking he starts
thinking of this guy why did you even
show up right now it’s not a certain
state now that state you don’t think
about okay it’s my backhand gonna be
okay right because what happens is when
you’re in your best you don’t think
about how to do it you just do it don’t
you it just flows that’s a big thing so
I said okay here’s the French Open he
walks out like Don Knotts looks over at
the other guy’s just look in his face
were you thinking then he said I
remember the last time he beat me so
what I do is I change is stay anchored
it showed him a couple ways to trigger
it was very fundamental and in less than
six months he was number one in the
world the honor he’s gone back down and
up again after got injured recently and
I was talking to Brooke about it she
goes his pride says he’s got to do it
himself this time again which I’m sure
he has the ability to do but sometimes
people just don’t manage that state they
don’t go there first they work on their
game they’re working on their state say
I don’t know anything about the game but
I know everything about human psychology
would affects every game that’s the
power that’s the linkage so what we want
to do from this day forward is if you
want to get better to anything if you
want to suddenly be better in your
performance of business if you suddenly
want to be more passionate in your
relationship if you want to make an
improvement in your study habits if you
want to help your kids more the first
step to any of those things is always
the same put yourself in a what in a
peak state it’s gonna be step number one
no matter what we do now here’s the good
news there’s basically two things you’ll
change to change your state in a moment
you’ll change either your
and what kind of changing the physiology
what kind radical change or you will
change your or both right and you know
how to do it so let’s very quickly first
see that I’ll walk you through the whole
thing first so once you get yourself in
a peak state that’s kind of like priming
the pump ever got yourself into Peaks
like a ramp and you’re there for a while
then gradually you come back to the
Kryptonite Clark Kent that you were
before all right how many to experience
this being a peak State and then
gradually dropping down say I the reason
you dropped down is you didn’t keep
momentum going by going to the second
element and that is you must find your
passion
what does that mean it means you gotta
discover what do you love what do you
really love what excites you what juices
you what do you hate cuz I got news for
you people are driven only about what
they want but also what they don’t want
very often people come to me and they’ll
say well I don’t know what I want to do
for my career
I’ll say well drew describe me the ideal
job I don’t know what it is I’ll say
okay great
describe to me the job you at Hayes
subscribe to me right now our job
describe the environment you would hate
to be and the people you hate to be
around the kind of work you would hate
to do right kinda money even hate to me
you look through the whole thing and
when they’re all done they have no
problem scrubbing what they hate and
they get passionate about what they are
I hate this like that all this energy is
coming out of it then I said okay great
look at that you Haven yeah now right
the opposite and you have the job for
heaven you have your ideal so you can
get to a person’s drive through what
they love do what they hate what excites
them to it drives them and very often
I’ll ask people or what do you want they
don’t I don’t know if I knew that I
could get it all worked out I really
don’t know and the reason they don’t
know is because you’re asking in this
state see it’s like trying to walk in
this thing not gonna happen so the
reason you’re not getting the answer is
you are not putting yourself in a state
of total certainty so by putting
yourself in a Peake’s think people I’m
saying what I want to say stand tall
breathe strong
now if you knew what you want what you
said was though they tell you
immediately cuz all you’ve done is put
in the state where the answers really
are there it’s all you got to do third
part once you’re in state that’s like
priming the pump right remember in the
old days if you want to get the out of
the well the water you got to feed it
something first so putting yourself in
state feeds it
but to get to the well you find your
passion and the well of passion is never
ending paint you lot of things excites
things you hate but once you find that
passion that’ll go for a long time but
you venture to keep momentum going you
have to take that passion and do
something with it so step three is you
must decide commit and resolve what
you’re gonna do with it and that’s what
keeps the momentum going otherwise
you’re just passionate for a long time
and then gradually that’ll just date and
by the way those are three different
experiences decision committing and
resolving they are different emotions
and they’re all three critical if you’re
gonna actually follow through on your
decision step four for momentum is you
must get yourself to take mass of what
that’s right because the only way a
decision is real is if you act upon it
if you don’t have to bond it you make a
decision you’ll lose momentum and then
finally when you start taking action
you’ll start getting results and now you
want to be smart and smart is an acronym
for you want to make sure your strategy
is really working remember you want to
have sensory acuity isn’t working or not
you want to measure it you want assess
is it giving you what you want and if it
is you want to reinforce it and take new
action and that keeps the momentum going
and then you’ll see in the middle of
circle there are some forces that will
either accelerate or break your progress
and that is emotion certain emotions
will speed it up more passionate right
more intensity certain emotions like
fear will slow it down to a break your
progress of momentum same thing is true
with focusing your power when you
concentrate all your focus on something
it accelerates that if it’s something
good if you focus on your greatest fear
it’s gonna starving down same thing as
modeling but I want to speed up my
momentum well then I can learn by
someone else’s experience when I had no
money I mean none I couldn’t make my own
bills I could make my rent I would take
my money and go to a seminar or take
somebody’s lunch she was brilliant
picked their brain because I realized
I’m always not gonna have money for rent
until I make a radical change in my
understanding skill in psychology and I
don’t want to wait forever I gotta get
it now so I would stretch to get the
resources of someone else when I
couldn’t possibly do it because I
understood that a big part of my life
came about from saying I want to
compress decades into days don’t only do
that let’s get those resources and that
sped up my momentum gave me the power of
modeling another one there is synergy
how through synergy you can speed things
up and lastly the power of environment
but
I see what he really wants what are you
committed to now once you’ve got those
emotions brewing it’s a lot easier to do
what all change comes from which is to
make a real one
decision because if you look at your
life you want to see why your life is
the way it is the parts of your life you
love and maybe the parts of your life
you’re not as thrilled with you can
really define why your life is there if
you really look at your life by your
decisions he said no no no that’s the
way God made it well that may be true
but God has made lots of people have the
same experience but what you took out of
that experience was your conscious
choice or unconscious choice you decided
and so if you look at your life I bet
you could look at the last 10 years of
your life for example maybe last 15 I’d
be willing to bet there are places along
the way that if you would have made a
different decision your life would be
radically different than it is right now
better or worse I don’t know but you
probably do but it certainly be
different
how many would agree with that say I am
a lot of times those decisions we don’t
think much about sometimes the decisions
like what we’re gonna do for a living or
where we’re gonna live or who are gonna
spend time with or who we’re gonna marry
or they’re gonna have children all right
what we’re gonna believe those choices
have shaped who you are and so if you
want to transform the quality of your
life there is only one power on its
decision but most people have not made a
decision so long like a real decision I
mean a tough one where it’s hard you
make yourself do it they kind of like
Express preferences and kind of see if
it works out they put it in a mode
and decision made from a should is not a
real decision because you don’t act on
it you do it for a little while you
never really not only decide but they
commit and really resolve but no matter
what you’re gonna make it happen that’s
different than just deciding in the
moment right that’s not a real decision
that’s the preference you’re expressing
so if you think about that then there
are decisions along the way that shaped
your life radically and then you want to
shave your life you want to take control
of that power that your Creator has
given you and you got to do it
consciously because otherwise what
happens is you just go with the flow and
then going the flow sounds really nice
but the problem is you get to the fork
in the river and you haven’t decided
clearly you go with the flow well the
flow of water the strongest flow goes to
where the falls are
and one day you wake up you know three
feet from Niagara Falls and a boat with
no oars you go oh shoot at that point
it’s a little late so we want to do is
get really conscious about decision
making but again you want to do it from
a big state I had a friend that for
years drove this old horrible car he
hated they kept doing it because his
belief was that God wanted to be poor
and his kids hated it they make him drop
him off walk from school he made a
decision to believe that God wanted him
to be abundant and his first act that he
did his committed act as you took out a
shotgun and blew up as many holes in
that car as he could say I will never
drive this car again and neither will
anyone else commit an act momentum comes
when you not only decide but you take
immediate action what immediate action
are you gonna take to demonstrate you
meaning who you’re gonna tell what are
you gonna do what’s the first thing it
is simple then what’s a big thing you
could do that commits you here it shows
this means business action is momentum
what action would you take immediately
to create more momentum now to back up
your decision with power think it’s a
little decision a little action rather
on your decision once a big one you do
that would just be like this is it maybe
and feel good feel good to take
committing acts wouldn’t it it takes you
beyond decision it takes you to total
momentum action power results now if you
remember this momentum model we said
that the steps were that you had to
first put yourself in a be quite step to
is once you’re in that beat state to
keep it going you got to find your what
do you love what he hate would excite
you what drives you want you there you
must take immediate make I should say
you must make an immediate decision
right he’s gonna use that emotion to do
something worthwhile and then you want
to take decision to committing and
resolving how many can feel the
difference when let’s resolve say I then
you must take immediate massive
intelligent what that’s right then all
you’ll do is be smart will just notice
your strategy if it’s working or not
it’s working reinforce it it’ll keep
let’s not change your approach what if
that doesn’t work what do you do if that
doesn’t work what do you do whole time
using your sensory community keep
changing till you get what you want
period
you
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