you get to work your butt off if you
think that you’re gonna go and
accomplish something really special and
be the best in anything in the world if
you think you can do it without working
you make a big mistake because no matter
what I did if it was a bodybuilding or
an acting or if it is in the political
arena it always took a lot a lot of work
and you gotta put out and you got the
you know something to make a lot of
sacrifices notice if you’re not willing
to work hard forget about it so there’s
another rule that is a very important
I’ll never forget a recent experience
doing my business on Wall Street getting
on the train to come back to midtown one
o’clock in the afternoon normally
there’s a low this train should be empty
but on this day the train was full full
of people all in business suits a guy
recognizes me comes over says hey are
you Chris Gardner we started talking
about turns out I’m in the car
with the first wave of the 55,000 people
who had just been laid off by Citibank
and I noticed something everyone’s
holding a box you’ve seen the boxes
you’ve seen them on television they’ve
got the house plant that coffee mug the
pictures of their kids and they’re all
going home they’re all going home to
tell their wife their husband their
children and the landlord they don’t
have a job
I began to share with this young guy
that do you know what yeah you lost your
job but you haven’t lost your skills
your talent or your expertise but we’ve
got to do now is create opportunities
where the skilled talent and expertise
can be transferable creating an
opportunity and looking for a job are
two different things
this could be prime time for pushing
your button rather finding your button
what do I mean by that prime time to
find that one thing that you love to do
so much you would get up in the morning
and do it free prime time to find that
one thing that the Sun cannot comes up
soon enough in the morning because you
want to go do your thing
this could be that time in your life
every single person when they’re in
their teens in the early 20th they they
care so much about other people and how
they’re perceived and what impression
they make and I wanted to be perfect I
wanted to be good at everything and big
a student and be prettier and skinnier
and successful and all these things and
I cared about what people said about me
how they felt about me and as I get
older I just realize that that is that
month other people won’t make me happy
it has to be from within me and I need
to keep doing whatever makes me happy
and whoever responds to that great
whoever doesn’t respond to that it’s
fine – hmm
but the less I care about other people’s
opinions the better I feel about myself
and the more I do things that make me
happy I don’t make notes
I don’t react very instinctively to
everything I’m a great believer in
traveling a great deal
I don’t believe meetings
more than two people in the meeting as
too many it’s true do you know about
stand-ups okay so in Silicon Valley now
when you have a meeting everybody stands
on a circle like they’re meditating
that’s that’s maybe I should try that I
think the more you go out the more you
see the more you experience life the
more you bring back to your day job so
as I was trying to say in my remarks I
think the problem about big corporations
is you get a lot of people my age trying
to hold on to their jobs and you know
clinging on to their pensions and their
retirement and they’re not experiencing
new things and they don’t like change
and they don’t like disruption so
they’re either they don’t make a
decision or they say no and as a result
they stagnate so it’s terribly important
to bring people in from the outside and
not to remain too insular and also to
hire as many young bright people like
all of you as you can just to teach you
how to think about things completely
differently you’re gonna play big say
big you’re gonna play huge st. huge
you’re gonna play ginormous a ginormous
but first take baby steps you’re gonna
eat the elephant but take one small bite
first chew it good right we want so much
so fast my grandmother says baby she
starts every sentence with baby I’m sure
it’s because she cannot remember all of
our names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you fast
forward you’re building on Plexiglas
you’re bidding on styrofoam you bet on
wood you want to build it on semen
your dream is important enough to
outlive you yes yes
and so I realize that that you can’t
Google down lower resiliency
you can’t Google download tenacity you
can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience I want patience I’m
waiting for it somebody’s gonna piss you
off tomorrow then now you get to test of
your patience I realized I realized that
as I wanted to develop me I have to be
willing to climb and I wanted to get to
the top and there’s no elevator to the
top I got to do my squats I gotta work
on my quads and my hamstrings and my
calves cuz I gotta climb to the top
we gotta climb you want to be great like
you want to be good and you sort of set
these funny expectations for yourself
you know one of the funniest things that
the fogarty ever said to me he was like
yeah I was I tried to learn I was
learning to play the drums but I
realized that I would never be as good
as John Bonham from Led Zeppelin so I
stopped my you’re who is as good as John
but nobody like what though how could
you do that so like there should be no
right or wrong you know you should just
be cool with what you do and how you
sound like I’m it’s it’s one of the
things that I have a problem with like a
lot of those song contest shows on TV
not up not only because you know
whatever its corporate cheese or
whatever but I have a problem with like
if my kid walked up on stage and sang
her heart out as best as she could and
Jennifer Lopez said like nah sorry
that’s not good enough I’d be like
[Applause]
I’d be so pissed you know cuz that’s not
how it works
you know you should be you should go you
should go to a yard sale and buy a steel
guitar and then go find a friend and get
into your garage and just suck there’d
be awful and then write some songs and
that’s how it’s that’s how it works I
mean it works other ways too I’m sure
but I mean as a as a young musician you
know first of all you’re not gonna make
a living doing it like except that I
realize that because then if you do
you’re stopped the reward of playing
music playing music should be the reward
of playing music like that’s that’s what
you that’s what you kind of get like
when I was a little kid when I was
playing punk rock music as a teenager
like there was never any career
opportunity because we’ve played punk
rock music nobody wanted to buy that but
we’d love to do it it was so it was so
much fun and like if you start from a
place like that that you just love to
create and you just love to play music
and you can’t stop thinking about it and
you do it every day and you do it by
yourself or you do it with your friends
and that’s enough for you to survive the
rest of your life that’s great and then
once you start getting good you start
playing for people and once you start
playing for people if you’re good then
those people will tell other people that
girls really good so then all of a
sudden you’re playing to all these
different people and that to me is the
most important thing when you doing it’s
you on stage and people are seeing when
people see another person doing that
it’s really inspiring like it’s cool to
see a human being
jamming Yvette’s great a lot of
so-called unhappiness is also a childish
way of trying to change things by being
as unhappy as you can about them and the
underlying unconscious or semi-conscious
assumption is if I’m really unhappy
somebody perhaps God is going to do
something about it or I’m going to prove
him wrong I’m going to show him how
dreadful it is and then finally this is
an unconscious assumption behind the
unhappiness because you believe if
you’re habitually and frequently unhappy
you believe that it has a purpose
it’s an underlying assumption perhaps
you wouldn’t verbalize it in that way
but you believe that it it’s it works
for you because it doesn’t but things
are going to change it but just need to
be really unhappy so that God finally
evens you don’t believe in God this can
still be the mechanism the underlying
unconscious assumption behind it it’s
something is going to happen and of
course the opposite is true because the
more happier with something the more
you’re stuck in the situation but as
always
so we had that sort of token of
appreciation of home-cooked food then I
was very lucky to get on foundation
course spending the last year in my
school at a foundation course studying
maths English tune out days a week and
then learning to cook 14-hour days a
week and it was a sort of new experiment
now we had trouble with buy my first set
of whites and chef knives and we
depended on the bamboo round table to
come up with something like 85 90 pound
the mum dad didn’t have to get my first
set of whites so remember that day I got
given my first set of whites mine eyes
and said on that mission football was a
sort of huge burning ambition and I was
trying to decide yeah I had a horrific
injury then all of a sudden you know
what you do so then get visit but I had
this little burning desire with this
sort of a chef it’s just this ambition
and then I sort of channeled that
frustration from football into cooking
in a way that I just I just wanted to
learn the foundation course was huge
that our city guild 7:06 I was a mature
part-time student and mum doesn’t have
the money to send me to college full
time so it was it was hard but what I
did do is take a job in the industry I
work six days a week and went to college
one day week so then everything started
becoming clearer got more qualifications
the basic and then went to London and
that’s where it really just you know
took off why do you prioritize sleep so
highly just curious of what makes you so
committed to that and the science behind
it thank you for all you do I find that
I’m slower when I’m fatigued so I find
myself drifting I have more symptoms of
what we’ll call a tea a DD so that my
attention just drift drift drifts and
then I find I’ll read a sentence or
whatever and be like kind of to reread
the sentence like 10 times so that was
just going whoa I’m not as efficient as
I could be and then the other is I find
it a unique form of misery there is an
additional ring of hell that is saved
just for people who are fatigued I hate
it so much
so it’s misery and I don’t understand
people that live a life
that is miserable I just don’t get it
and then on top of that I think you
actually accomplish less if you’re
fatigued so you’re putting more hours
we’re actually getting less done per
hour
so if being fatigued puts you at like
0.6 of what your output could be and
then being just like incredibly well
rested prioritizing that puts you at you
know it’s I guess mathematically I
should be saying just one then like you
have to make up 40% of the number of
hours and waking up early just to break
even and then you put misery on top of
that so that that’s my end of one
experience is that I am so deadly
efficient when I’m rested that I just
get more done so comparing those suicide
by side I get I actually accomplish more
yeah I believe in manifestation I
believe in you know putting a rocket of
desire out into the universe and and you
get it when you believe it you get it
when you believe you have it and that’s
the key is like people still they sit
around going when’s it gonna come when’s
it gonna come when they’re gonna come
when’s it gonna come and that’s the
wrong way you’re you’re facing the wrong
way you’re facing away from it you have
to go it’s here it’s here it’s here
well there’s a world-champion box low on
basketball playoff
track star harshly manimals i found out
that this Mark Spitz for an example he’s
a world champion but what made him the
world champion was that he seemed to at
the right time when the pressures down
at the last few yards he can get that
lead he’s got enough left a million I
found Ken Norton my last fight if I was
even up in the last round but I had
something that he didn’t have all our
much older and that was the last minute
kick what’s that last minute kick is
that some test the stamina the strength
but was more than training the mental
capacity mental to realize
what’s involved and how important it is
make it by to do something was really
hard to do your mind makes you do it
marks bitch this Olympic track star was
mentioning he wasn’t that much greater
than all the people in the world was
sometimes he won by just that much and
this little champion is just one who can
come out at the last minute and the
closes show us and say the star closes
show a 1415 round fight and this even
and that usually this champion you can
depend on him to come to the last few
seconds and find some interpreters it’s
a discipline not only that it’s mental
and physical game where his body is in
physical shape to do it plus mentally to
he’s got a self in condition where both
fellas maybe sometimes the wheel can
outdo the skill and sometimes a fellow’s
wheel is stronger than the man who is
actually better physically and the
determination and weakens the other man
just to see him so determined every
single human being has value and my
value is not determined on how I look or
what job I have or where I’m from where
I was born how much money all that stuff
is nothing so many teenagers you know
tease each other for how we look and I
tell the teenagers do you think that I’m
cool enough to be a friend they’re like
yeah of course I said but I have no arms
no legs they said doesn’t matter said
really so it doesn’t matter that I have
no arms no legs I said no it doesn’t
matter I said then actually if it
doesn’t matter then why do we kill each
other with our words if it actually
doesn’t matter why do we look ourselves
in the mirror and see ugly instead of
valuable when I asked you today what are
you looking for if I gave you a billion
dollars would you be happy
if you gave me a billion dollars I’d be
very happy but then if my mom dies
tonight am I happy No
with all the money in the world I’ll
never be happy Mika’s money is something
that cannot heal the soul the cookie jar
is something I invented as you all know
your mom has a cookie jar and sometimes
you might have an Oreo sometimes you
might have a Chips Ahoy way sometimes
you might have a oatmeal raisin cookie
you never know
just in there my cookie jar has every
single failure and success of my life
sup my overcame so what happens in this
in time of life when you’re stressed out
and things get bad even the hardest guy
in the world me
everybody thinks and I think I’m the
hardest guy in the world you got to
believe that you got believe you are
something I will in my mind reach into
my cookie jar and sometimes you forget
how hard you are in times of need
because you’re you’re stressed but you
forget I’m a Navy SEAL I’m a ranger I’m
guessing that but you forget all that
cos your life sucks I calm down take
that one second get control of my life
reaching the cookie jar well you got
caught nigger your whole life and you’re
now the only person history do justice
and this put it back in the cookie jar
reset my mind you have to remind
yourself of how badass you really are in
times of need that’s the cookie jar
I was a very headstrong young person and
by nineteen eighty three or four had
started my own publishing company to
publish my own books realizing that no
one else will publish me and I was right
about that and so my first book I saved
my food money from Black Flag a little
here little there and I saved enough to
make a fold and staple book I couldn’t
type so I hand write out the things and
I made a dummy that I could offset print
fold and staple and I sold them for $2
mainly gave them away but I sold enough
and they blew out 500 just went and then
I took that money to make another print
run of that and from that money I made
my first paperback
and thirty-three years later that’s a
fully staffed company with books in
translation and hardcover editions and
the whole you know the whole nine yards
but it started with I’m gonna do my
thing I’ll be city lights jr. without
the talent and that’s I did that at the
same time I was doing my first spoken
word gigs and why did I have the
gumption and the audacity to start my
own book company because I come from
punk rock I come from watching Ian
MacKaye invent Dischord records on his
mom’s kitchen table I come from folding
and gluing picture sleeves together
black flag had their own label of course
you do it yourself you want to make a
book sit down and write it then go to
the printing place where’s a printer get
in the phone book and find a printer we
make records make some books it was you
just do it it’s like you don’t even
think about you just do it and I’m sure
that writing is this awful but I did it
and without even hesitation I’m making
my own book companies stop me I dare you
I’ve never thought about it twice just
because DIY man like let your voice be
heard well you know what people do look
at me and see me as creative because
I’ve written so many books and I am
curious but when I started off in
college in in my in my freshman psych
class they gave us a test that he
preached dude to take on creativity and
there were 17 in that class I can
remember it well and I was at the bottom
of the class on creativity I mean I was
like number 17 out of 17 and and and
what the teacher posted the scores and
so I mean I saw how bad I was
and and then I really felt bad not only
because I wasn’t creative but I was
going to go past her I was going to go
into ministry I was going to teach I was
going to do sermons and then I got to
take it myself I’m going to be another
boring preacher and you know I thought
just grip I thought oh this is gonna be
awful I’m gonna bore people all my life
you know what I mean and I’m gonna
ask him to pay while they hear me I mean
this is an awful deal so it and so two
things I did and I talked about it the
book one as I started filing I started
taking thoughts and quotes and the
reason I started doing that is I thought
if I’m not gonna be good at what I say I
need to quote somebody that is good and
so I started filing things that other
people would say so I’d go around and
I’d say well Kim said you know what I
mean and Jo said and Susie said and so
that at least I would be a little bit
more interesting that’s how it started
but the big breakthrough the big
breakthrough ahead was and this will
help everyone if how many of you would
like to be more creative let me let me
see your hands okay
how many of you’d like to just
absolutely have an imagination that just
took you to a new level you know I’m
sorry okay how many you already have
that because you’re on drugs
okay okay okay well here’s here’s that
here’s the key this will work for you I
promise it work for you because it
worked for me I made a major change in
my early 30s from just having answers
and being a leader that just had to cast
vision and show everybody what I was
doing and where we were going and I
started asking intentional questions and
I became a person I ask questions all
the time every day I ask questions and I
have found just asking questions we’ll
take you on exciting journeys more than
thing else you’re right you excel in
that kid I’ve watched you over the years
you did excel really in that but for my
early years I didn’t ask enough
questions and so therefore I didn’t get
enough ideas and thoughts from others so
when people say I want to be more
creative what step one step no one has
asked more questions just go to people
and start asking questions it’s amazing
what you’ll learn so that means taking
things using things in your life or
scars using those moments as a weapon
using those as using basketball is kind
of like a vehicle through which to
express yourself right so it doesn’t so
at that moment for us to face the
Celtics again it’s not about the Celtics
it’s not about your opponent
it’s about you it’s about you taking it
and it struggles and channeling that
through the game right as it as a as a
way to to unleash right so now I became
a matter of how do i express that to
them how do I get them to that point
where they figure this out for
themselves is I can’t say hey listen I
need you to play harder
so education well I had to share my
story I had to open up to them and let
them know I’ve dealt with things this is
the things that I use this is how I go
about focus this is how I deal with that
versity this is how I deal with you know
arguing with my wife the day of the game
is showing up to the game and still
having that focus to be able to play
like I used those things to open up with
them and then in turn they were able to
to take those stories make them their
own that whatever you do somebody can do
it better you have to bring your A game
in every single day there’s nothing
unique about any one individual what’s
unique is their passion their ability to
execute to meet targets and exceed them
the minute you lose that ability in
capitalism you’re gone it’s a fair trade
the engine that makes you rich can take
it all away from you there are no
guarantees I think that’s incredibly
important it looks like
you always go out of your comfort zone
right coming onto an island that was
completely deserted no fresh water you
don’t even have the money to buy it and
and now you’re sleeping on a tent on the
beach trying to figure out how to get
fresh water here you do that often you
did it with the airline I mean I was
just somebody that experienced the bad
experience of traveling on airlines I
was actually trying to get to the BVI
the British Virgin Islands one day from
Puerto Rico and the same lovely lady was
waiting for me and I’ve been away for
three weeks and American Airlines bumped
the flight and and I went to the back of
the airport I had a plane I had a black
board I wrote
Virgin Airlines one way $29 to the VV I
went around all the people have been
bumped and I filled my first plane and
and that got me thinking you know their
lines do bump people they don’t care
about you or me particularly in the air
and so we sigh then rang up Boeing and
said you have any secondhand seven four
seven okay I mean it was literally that
you just sat in the airport and said I’m
starting an airline right now we cannot
frustrate it exactly and I think most
most of the best entrepreneurial ideas
come out of frustration I think you know
if you if you’re frustrated about
something and the best way of sorting it
out is get out and do it and you’ve got
yourself a business we know from our
past experiences that big things start
small you know the biggest oak starts
from an acorn and you’ve got to
recognize anything new you’ve got to be
willing to let that acorn grow into a
little sapling and then finally into a
small tree and maybe one day it’ll be a
big business on its own and in fact
that’s one of the mottos for one of your
initiatives and forgive my pronunciation
of the Latin but Greta team ferocity
what does that mean to you well it means
step by step ferociously and it’s the
motto for Blue Origin and basically you
can’t skip steps you have to put one
foot in front of the other things take
time you there are no shortcuts and but
but you want to do those steps with you
know passion and ferocity yeah I started
working at this video store it was
pretty much what you’re talking about
around that time and and it was great at
first because I’d always hated day jobs
and stuff and so I got a day job and it
ended up being pretty good but
admittedly I was there for five years at
a certain point it was our narcotic all
right I didn’t have to keep pursuing my
dreams because you know it’s not what I
want to do but it’s sort of kind of
close and if I didn’t have an artist
soul burning in me I could have made
myself happy
with that I could if I if I didn’t have
an artist soul burning to get out I
could have you know walked backwards a
couple steps and just done that and
would have been a fulfilling little to
anybody else it would have been a
fulfilling life it wouldn’t been for me
because I wouldn’t know and I would have
had something to say that I didn’t get a
chance to say but it did put me to sleep
for a while and and I’ve always just
thought I mean what really got it got
everything kind of truly going for me
you could point out a lot of different
things but the bottom line is the fact
that I realized that the even the group
of people I hung around with they were
all great great great fellows and great
gals but you know I was easy for me to
think that I was doing a lot because I
was doing more to try to move myself
forward than they were but you know
that’s not yeah yeah okay I’m a big fish
in a puddle so what all right they’re
not doing anything so yeah I’m doing
more than them but I realized that
actually I need to get my ass out to
Hollywood and meet other people who are
you know like they were in my category
or or working a little higher and and I
should be the weakest link in my chain
that I have and that’ll make me be
strong to real make me run faster I mean
like an analogy I’ve always used is
alright if you run the hundred yard dash
with people that can’t run as fast as
you yeah you’ll win hands-down you know
that but if you run with people much
faster than you all right yeah you might
come in last every single time but your
time will be better because they’re
making you run all the faster they’re
making let me can you dig down just a
little bit more it doesn’t matter that
you and your time is faster and that’s
what I knew I had to do I had to get out
of Loserville and throw myself into a
place where like this is what do for a
living one night Chris have gone to bed
I had been struggling struggling
struggling we still had all the same
problems
I we start a lien on the house still
facing bankruptcy still fighting like
crazy I was still unemployed
he still they still haven’t figured out
like the solution yet for the business
and I was about to turn off the TV and
there on the TV there was this rocket
launching and I thought oh my gosh it I
am gonna launch myself out of bed like a
rocket ship like NASA right here had
launched me out of that bed and I’m
gonna move so fast that I don’t think
I’m gonna beat my dream now here’s a
really interesting point I talk a lot
about your instincts and inner wisdom
and we can get into this a little bit
later but a lot of us talk about the
fact that you have a gut feeling but
what all this research that I’ve done
for the book and and all the speaking
that I do what I’ve discovered that’s
fascinating is actually when you set
goals when you have an intention on
something that you want to change about
your life your brain helps you what it
does is it opens up a checklist and then
your brain goes to work trying to remind
you yeah of that intention that you set
and it’s really important to develop the
skill and I say that word purposefully
the skill of knowing how to hear that
inner wisdom and that intention kicking
in and leaning into it quickly so for me
my brain saying that’s it right there
move as fast as a rocket Mel I wanted to
change my life and I think most people
that are miserable or that are that are
really like dying to be great and dying
to have more we want to change we want
to live a better life we want to create
more for our families we want to be
happier the the desire is there again
it’s about how do you go from knowledge
to actions so the first thing in the
story that’s important is realizing that
the answer was in me and my mind was
telling me pay attention
could have also been the Bourbon anyway
the next morning the alarm goes off and
I pretended NASA was there
it’s a stupidest story I literally went
five four three two one I counted out
loud and then I stood up and I never
forget standing there in my bedroom it
was dark it was cold it was winter in
Boston and for the first time in three
months I had beaten my habit of hitting
the snooze button I couldn’t believe it
and I thought wait a minute
counting backward citizen dumbest thing
I’ve ever heard in my entire life well
the next morning I used it again and it
worked the next morning I used it again
and it worked the next morning I used it
again and it worked and then I started
to notice something really interesting
there were moments all day long all day
long just like that five-second moment
in bed where I knew knowledge what I
should do and if I didn’t move within
five seconds my brain would step in and
talk me out of it every human being has
a five-second window might even be
shorter for you you have about a
five-second window in which you can move
from idea to action before your brain
kicks into full gear and sabotages any
change in behavior because remember your
brain is wired to stop you from doing
things that are uncomfortable or
uncertain or scary it’s your job to
learn how to move from those ideas that
could change everything into acting on
them I’ve been making music now with you
know like Tony Bennett for a couple
years and I’m you know Elton John is you
know one of my closest friends and his
husband David and they just have showed
me that like I’m a baby and my artistry
you know and I just have to keep making
music and keep going and so my focus
really for this album is showing that to
two young girls and to enter boys that
want to make music that you don’t have
to
get lucky on the internet it’s not a
social media game you don’t have to find
a you know the the the hot producer and
get the hot track you know to be a star
you can just learn how to play an
instrument and sit in your room and
practice and write songs and poetry and
then you can go around the corner to the
bar and meet other artists that do the
same thing that you do and you can hang
out and talk about music and write songs
and then you can play at the spot around
the corner and gain one fan and then do
it over and over and over again until
you’re discovered you need to know what
your unique strengths are and be willing
to delegate so I would say that the
question of whether you should take a
skill learn it yourself delegated
someone else or hire a new team member
are determined by having a very accurate
self assessment and assessment of your
team’s skills not only what you can do
but what you should be doing that’s very
important so if you’re a start-up CEO or
founder and you have a team of say two
to ten people as soon as you have funds
to hire you should not be focused on the
things that you are bad at sounds very
very intuitive but it’s not because you
might have enough time to do those
things but the question is do you have
the attention to dedicate to those
things so they’re not an interruption
especially if you’re a venture-backed
startup and you’re competing against
other companies that also have a lot of
funding the game the game and the race
goes to the Swift so you have to have
you have to have a lot of velocity ESPN
called me they did a story on me this
past summer but they called me one day
and I picked up the phone they said is
this inky johnson so last time I checked
inky johnson they said is this the same
guy that said if you could change what
happened to you you wouldn’t I said
absolutely
they said it’s our understanding the
game of football meant the world I said
at one point it did they said it’s our
understanding that your family was
banking on you making it to the NFL
they can have a better way of life I
said yeah that’s that’s correct and said
we’re coming to see you I said all right
cool come on instead but we don’t want
to see you in Atlanta we want to see
your Nealon Stadium on the exact yard
line where your life change the same
time of day the only thing that won’t be
President it’s Air Force’s team all
right cool and so they take me to Nealon
Stadium they put me on the exact yard
line with my life changed they said now
tell your younger self why you wouldn’t
stop your injury if you could if you
could be in the NFL right now making
millions of dollars tell you young
yourself why you wouldn’t change that
situation if you could and I say the
reason I wouldn’t change it believe it
or not has nothing to do with me back on
a personal level you he thought I was
gonna say because of the man that I’ve
become the perspective that I’ve
acquired my feet that been fortified he
thought I was gonna say something like
that I said no it has nothing to do it
has everything to do with the lives that
have been affected by the result of the
process and the thing that I represent
in the world what my spirit represents
once you might have seen me they think
perseverance well my spirit represents
where somebody see me they think don’t
quit what my spirit represents when
somebody see me they think that’s a
quality individual right there what my
character represents in the world and
every single day we’re putting something
out like that represent something when
people see that they thinks it’s a
thought that comes to the month when he
said go standing he gave me that I felt
a certain type of wedding but he gave me
to go stare I got the certain type I
felt
go stand it with me because I think in
what I do the line of business I’m in
I’m gonna go standard because I don’t
compromise and every single day I’m
gonna give you my very best you can bet
your bottom dollar every single day i’ma
bring that gold standard the life and
I’m not just bringing it in one aspect
of life I’m bringing in it every single
aspect of life I’m not gonna be one of
these people in the world that’s a
public success but they’re private oh
you mean they give everything they got
to one aspect of life but the other
areas they lack are no I’m gonna give
every single thing I got to every aspect
of my life
because I represent something when
people see me they think something
whether that’s character never giving up
never surrender and the thing that we
can never do is forget what we represent
because that’s how guys end up under
bridge on a cardboard box sleep they
forget what they represent when life
hits him where that person my only
charge for you never forget what you
represent there were the things that I
probably should have done not from my
perspective I mean from my point of view
I did the right things every every film
that I’ve done I mean I’m happy that I
made that choice I don’t have any
regrets whatsoever but I mean in terms
of sustaining box office you know
bankability I should have done a few of
the things that I didn’t do but I’m glad
I didn’t do them
because it wouldn’t have been you yeah
well I would it would have been for the
wrong reasons I did everything that I’ve
been lucky enough to do I did for the
right reasons you have to treat yourself
like you matter because if you don’t
then you don’t take care of yourself and
you become vengeful and and cruel and
youyou take you take it out on people
around you and you’re not a positive
force none of that’s good so you suffer
more and so does everyone around you and
there’s a malevolence that enters into
it none of that’s good so that’s what
happens if you don’t treat yourself like
you matter and then what happens if you
don’t treat other people like they
matter
well you lie to them you cheat them you
steal you you enter into impulsive
relationships with them they can’t trust
you that doesn’t go anywhere they don’t
like you you you end up alone at best
and maybe like in incarcerated at worst
like that doesn’t work and so you watch
the people around you who thrive
regardless of what they say they act out
the proposition that everyone matters
and then you have a functional Society
and I think ok well if if if when you
act out the proposition that everyone
matters you have a functional society
maybe that’s evidence that that
proposition is true it’s like I think
it’s I think it’s true you’ve lived a
life dominated by doubt and fear how do
that’s how you step in the bravery step
take the step step aggressively towards
your fear and that that step towards
your fear is the step into bravery
because we’re / scared of what we don’t
know and there’s only one way to learn
and to know and that is to confront that
fear you have to step you have to go and
this simple action this simple attitude
it answers so many questions
so many questions how do you get to the
gym every day you step you go how do you
how do you change your diet you step you
go how do you overcome fear of failure
fear of success or or fear of fear
itself you step and how do you face the
fear of the unknown you step don’t wait
anymore don’t think anymore don’t plan
anymore don’t contemplate anymore don’t
make any more excuses or justifications
don’t rationalize anything else no no
and no instead be aggressive take action
now and what is the first action that
you need to take what’s the first step
you need to take the first step you need
to take is just that step whether it’s
personal or people around me when you
see people that are positive that
looking something good and something bad
that took place they move along in life
faster they’re veteran and people want
to be around these people I mean too
often people gossip the one gossip
person must be around the other person
that gossips but they don’t realize when
you gossip you’re saying something heard
about somebody else you’re telling
everybody what if part of it was wrong
you had to go out and tell every person
you told this oh I’m sorry it was wrong
tell everybody you told it’s not gonna
happen so it’s things you learn about
don’t gossip don’t belittle people if
you don’t have to god please don’t try
and look at the positive angle what good
could come out of something and that
positiveness is gonna make you live
longer happier and wake up in the
morning happy not oh my god I gotta go
to work I can’t wait till I get home I
want to retire
because people are not positive they
were not happy and what happens they
retire they hate their job they retire
three or four years later their debts
they have nothing to do that positive
attitude be around positive people
encourage positiveness if you find
yourself walking around just complaining
all the time around people that complain
a lot
man move or just try and do something
different change your life being
positive and a positive attitude is find
something positive and something bad
makes you look for solutions when I was
down and out okay whoo Oh pop bottles
let’s get the pop bottles cash them in
everyone in this room knows how to
create you’re not a manager of your life
you’re a creator of your life or you
wouldn’t be in this room how do you
create your life you get hungry for
something don’t you who has done
something your life that once seemed
difficult or impossible and now it’s
part of your life who’s got something in
your life in this area say aye
how did you do it you created it three
ways number one you decided there’s
something you wanted so bad that you
unleashed all your desire you became
obsessed with it it was a business or a
car or a relationship or a
transformation of your body if there’s
something you want sin vision and now
it’s real it’s because you didn’t just
envision it you brought so much emotion
to it but now it’s in your life it was
once a dream it was once a goal and now
it’s in your life how many have
something like that in your life now say
I you may take it for granted now
hopefully not but it was once just a
vision may have seemed impossible at one
time so how did you do it
you started with a concrete vision of
what you wanted and you focused on it
continuously didn’t you
you envision something you got clear
about it and then you start thinking
about all the reasons why you wanted it
you got excited about it so this is
what’s next for me now I want this you
may have dreamed about a thought about
and talked about it
but when you focus on something
continuously something magical happens
you get insights don’t you you overhear
a conversation here something you
wouldn’t have heard if you didn’t have
that outcome or goal that you wanted so
badly who’s ever come up with something
obsessed about it didn’t even know how
to do it and it just happened and it
came together who’s that that experience
say I so why don’t we happened that
power now for your business in life some
of the most important discoveries and
inventions and innovations within a
field come from people who are trained
in a much different field and who have
an outsider’s approach Louis Pasteur was
a classic example of this he was trained
as a chemist in mineralogist so he
brought amidst a much different way of
thinking to the subject of medicine and
germs a method that was infinitely more
creative
Albert Einstein was a complete outsider
his two most important discoveries came
when he was working at the Swiss Patent
Office Google itself exemplifies this
idea it is perhaps the most successful
business on the planet founded by two
men who are relatively complete
outsiders to business and who therefore
structured and directed their company in
a very novel and creative fashion I
could go on and on and on with this list
including many great artists there are
two important reasons why Outsiders
generally have a creative advantage
first they are less steeped in and
burdened by the conventions of the field
that they are attacking they ask a
different set of questions they approach
problems from unconventional angles and
second they are often trained in totally
unrelated fields and so can make
interesting and creative connections
between two very different forms of
thinking like science and business or
chemistry and medicine or engineering
and design now we can’t all consciously
follow such a path but even within the
careers that were pursuing we can train
ourselves to think like outsiders and
help loosen up the mind in the process I
came home one night from work spraying
for cockroaches and long story short I
turned on the Discovery Channel I saw
some guys going to Navy SEAL training
and they were going through hell week
and they were getting their ass just
beat you know in out of the water
guys ringing the bell there was
suffering and I was waiting like 297
pounds and I had to make a change in my
life you know I was at all-time low and
I wasn’t going anywhere and I was
exactly what everybody said I was gonna
be which was nothing so I had to make a
change what was it about seeing
suffering that’s that’s really
interesting and I actually get it but I
want to hear you explain it why
suffering was the thing that triggered
that thought well for me growing up I
came from a horrible
I got called nigger every day of my life
growing up lived in a small town the
Klan headquarters at that time was about
20 minutes from where I lived the one of
the high ups in the KKK son sat behind
me in two classes so you called me nigga
a long time I got my first car they
spray print nigga we’re going to kill
you on it so I was just an insecure
scared kid and the only way I could find
myself was to put myself through the
worst thing possible I’m gonna say the
exact opposite of what the world today’s
world is saying so we read a bunch of
books nowadays as humans we we want to
find out how to be someone else what we
don’t do is we don’t go inside so
literally turn yourself inside out read
the book that says like we’re right in
the book every day of our lives every
day we’re seeing who we are as people
when I was growing up I I lied for
people to accept me because I did accept
myself so I would make up stories so
then you would accept me into your world
I would uh everything I did was for
someone else to like me
it was until I started reading my own
book about how pathetic I was as human
being I could blame my dad I can blame
kids at school I could blame having
health issues ATD my mom not being
around great mom but she was doing her
thing I could blame a lot of people and
that’s the book I was reading and I put
it off on everybody else it wouldn’t so
I say you know what for me to fix this I
get a read what the hell what the fuck
is wrong with David Garvey’s not blame
anybody read my books okay I’m afraid of
my shadow how can I overcome that go in
and military get your ass kicked
do things you hate to do be
uncomfortable every day of your life
Roger that
I’m not the smartest kid in the world
okay it says somebody saying oh no
you’re smart no no I don’t say that to
yourself I said to myself no I’m a dumb
okay Roger that how do you get smarter
educate yourself so the things that we
run from we run it from the truth we’re
running from the truth man so the only
way I became successful was going
towards the truth as painful and as
brutal as it is it changed me it allowed
me to become in my own right who every
day many people spend their lives in a
state of almost permanent
dissatisfaction right unfortunately so
there may be looking for some purpose or
they may have given up hope that there
is some purpose for them and they’re
just surviving or making a living or
caught up in the doing hold up in the
doing in the stress of it right and so
usually when we talk about purpose when
people talk about purpose they think of
purpose in terms of future where am I
going what am I supposed to do what’s
the direction I’m going what is my goal
the goal that I want to achieve and that
of course is that it has its place but I
call that the outer purpose more
fundamental than the outer purpose is
what most people usually overlooked and
that is the realization that what
matters most is finding your inner
purpose so inner purpose is aligning
your life fully with the present moment
so that you’re no longer out of
alignment with the present moment which
leads to the state of dissatisfaction
that we talked about that is the reality
for many people so you have to go first
of all beyond the state of
dissatisfaction that is so many people’s
reality right but you cannot go beyond
the state of dissatisfaction
through some future goal that says one
day I would like to be in a state of
fulfillment or satisfaction no you have
to enter the state of fulfillment and
satisfaction by becoming one internally
with the present moment of
your purpose and your inner purpose is
that alignment with where you are right
now to be totally where you are and
whatever you are doing even if it
doesn’t look like your life purpose for
the Dubai for the next 30 years
Thanks whatever you are doing now to be
total in doing it and what no matter
what it is to be true to life by being
true to this moment I was gonna
constantly evolve you know I always want
to constantly grow and everyone that get
to a point where I feel like I gotta
figure it out you know I always want to
like kind of like push myself to be
better you know and do and do greater
things no matter what it is I mean I
want to be the best I’m a competitor you
know I like to compete you know like
growing up with you know with the name
Michael Jordan you know I’ve always had
a certain pressure pressure on on myself
and and always having to kind of like
you know put people wrong and and and
and I just kind of kind of like put an
instant chip on my shoulder I want it
just to be great you know and do great
things and then and also help people man
I’m really big into the next generation
I feel like that’s the whole I thought
that’s the only way it’s gonna get
better moving forward is if you know you
got to leave this world in a better
place than it was when you came in you
know I’m 187 – question mark I don’t
know when I’m gone and I’m saying but I
want to work on my – and I’m saying I
wanna work on that at time that I’m here
and it is some and I fuck I can make it
easier for the next round of filmmakers
and the next round of actors coming up
you know that’s it and I mean they’re
not didn’t I’ll be I’m continually going
out on that take as a corpse I look
again like I said you were awesome ask
me about the future I’ll let you I’ll
let you know a little bit closer and I
mean as far I can see right now is the
cold that’s all I can see you need to
bet on your strengths and don’t give a
fuck about where you suck at you’re
gonna way too many people in this room
are gonna spend the next 30 40 years of
their lives trying to check the boxes
other things that they’re not as good at
and that you’re gonna waste a load of
time and lose I highly recommend
auditing yourself or if you have no
empathy or EQ or self-awareness then
find somebody in your family or
friendship that does and let them tell
you who you are and once you believe
that either for yourself or someone else
told you go directly all chips all into
that because that is the only possible
way in my opinion watching from the
outside that is limited phrase that is a
very highly likely way of over-indexing
because the truth is if you want to be
an anomaly you’ve got to act like one
you know like and so that’s it that’s
what I got so thanks for having me as I
started studying people that did more
not people that didn’t do more not
people that said do lists not people
that said hey don’t be satisfied or be
satisfied not people that said they’d be
grateful for what you have I started
studying people that said and
had done more that you can do more
that’s who I listen to today
I listen to the people aren’t my friends
in my life the people I listen to the
people I talk to the people that I
follow on Facebook or YouTube or
Instagram
I don’t follow everybody I follow the
people that say you can do more dude I
follow the people to say I am doing more
I follow the people that are actually
doing something on this planet to make a
difference for the better you have to be
selective you have to give something up
okay you cannot listen to everybody to
every voice to every person is quit or
given up you got to make a decision if
you have that little voice inside of you
that says you can do more you have to to
give attention to that voice and you got
to feed it with those that support that
idea that you can do more focus on
things that are AI driven artificial
intelligence driven whether it’s machine
learning deep learning learning neural
networks medical applications but within
ai ai is a buzzword that everybody is
using right now you know every in and to
that point you know we as old guys we go
back and it’s like 1995 we talk about
the internet and I would say to people
back in 1995 look if you don’t
understand the Internet you’re not gonna
be able to do business and now that’s
just blocking a tackling that seems
obvious back then it wasn’t right I can
even take you further back to my first
company you know what we did was a
company called micro solutions and we
did local area networks on wide area
networks and I used to walk into
companies and say you’re gonna have to
hook these pcs together at some point
that’ll make you more productive more
effective you know give you a
competitive advantage and people are
like now I just carry this floppy from
this PC to that PC yeah okay but today
we’re at the same type of inflection
point with artificial intelligence you
don’t have to be an expert and be able
to put together your own neural network
you know you don’t have to know what
weights and biases are but but you have
to have more than just a cursory
understanding
just like you have to know the
difference between you know different
types of websites and you have to
understand ecommerce if you’re in the
e-commerce you have to have a cursory
understanding of how apps work you’re
gonna have to have at least if not more
cursory understanding of artificial
intelligence because it will change
everything we do and if the internet was
10x in terms of change to business
artificial intelligence will be 100x or
more if you go to my house
right next to my bed there’s a book
machine learning for dummies if you go
into my bathroom there’s deep neural
networks for dummies right if you go
there’s a something for dummies in every
room of my house you know they could go
two ways I know but I’m just telling you
put the time I mean I’ve taken you know
I can’t even tell you how many hours now
I spent every week if not daily working
like I’ll go into Amazon AWS and go
through their machine learning tutorials
don’t think to yourself I’m not
technical enough or I’m not gonna get
this or I don’t get into this or it’s
too much try it get as far as you can
because it’s like doing a basic website
and a little bit of HTML just having
done that you feel smarter and you feel
a little bit more confident about this
you know I don’t want to be an alarmist
but I’m trying to scare the hell out of
you because it’s important it’s a very
natural process to begin something to be
very excited and then as you go down
that process to realize yeah I actually
don’t like this it’s not giving me as
much energy as I thought of what is
taking energy away and therefore I want
to give up and quit that thing and she
said if you do that once or twice like
hey so be it but if you’re doing it
every time if you just love that initial
rush that excitement of something new
but the actual nitty-gritty reality of
getting good at it of doing what Michiyo
Kaku calls having but power meaning
you’ve set your butt in the seat and you
do the work if that’s really your
problem and nothing is interesting
enough for you to sit there and do the
work you haven’t developed grit yet and
so grit is the ability to persevere to
see things through to go past the point
at which it is stopped being fun and it
becomes boring because you believe in
your end goal enough you’re excited by
what you’re trying to accomplish so much
that you’re willing to fight through
all of that difficulty you’re willing to
fight through the boredom you’re willing
to fight through the unease that arises
when you step outside your comfort zone
you’re doing things you’re not good at
and things that are boring those are the
two things that I find killed most
people they just cannot handle the
things that make them go oh god like I’m
not very good at this and I’m feeling
really badly about myself and they
forget that they can get good on a long
enough timeline and then too inevitably
in any pursuit of greatness in any
endeavor where you’re trying to gain
master you’re gonna get bored because
practice is repetition it’s doing
something over and over and over and
over to really train yourself to get to
the point where you’re truly exceptional
and there’s just so much boredom
inherent in that process so building in
the resilience to see all that stuff
through is the key part of grit and when
I say life doesn’t happen to you it
happens for you I really don’t know if
that’s true I’m just making a conscious
choice to perceive challenges as
something beneficial so that I can deal
with them in the most productive way
you’ll come up with your own style
that’s part of the fun so when we came
to America we were poor and broke the
way I look at it because we would always
run out of money before run out a month
we decide you know do we do without
electricity or gas because some months
we couldn’t afford to pay both and you
know being broke is being without money
being poor is being kind of scarcity
minded poor minded and we just realized
that money’s for the rich money’s for
the the Americans it’s for the people
who were born here I went to college and
that’s how I grew up
and later Jim Franco taught me that hey
you know what you can’t be scarcity
minded you can’t you have to live in
abundance you have to understand that
people just want a solution to a problem
and they don’t care about the color of
your skin about the level of your
education they want a solution to the
problem so he taught me he had to break
all these old patterns that I had right
what were some of the patterns some of
the patterns were that money’s for the
white folk and not for the foreigners
you actually thought yeah I really cuz
that’s that’s how it was because every
time we went and got got more food
stamps it was all foreigners there’s no
white people in line at least not not in
the parts of Santa Ana that I was raised
and so I felt that money was for the
people who were telling us to leave this
country go back to your own country and
that also puts a chip on your shoulder
right against them and so I guess I had
some reverse racism towards towards
white America now I realize for no
apparent reason there was a couple of
idiots and every culture I imagine right
but so that was one pattern that I had
another pattern that I had was that
being proud to be blue-collar like my
dad was like and he still says this work
is holy and I believe that work is holy
but the fact that he had so many jobs a
paper route pumping gas worked at a
pizzeria and so because of that mindset
blue collar blue collar always a blue
collar mentality and I took pride in
being blue collar another pattern Jim
Franco had to had the break was like
dude be white collar don’t use the
shovel sell the shovel I’d never heard
that phrase before I’m the guy that took
pride in I could dig a deeper hole a
deeper trench I could I could outwork
you but that’s still trading time for
dollars and so to be able to break those
who limiting belief systems that I have
it to me was huge and all of a sudden I
realized I’m no longer poor minded I may
end up broke again I do really well now
but I may make one or two bad decisions
with my money or my investment that
ended up being broke again but I’ll
never be poor and I know how to get back
from broke because I know how to add
value to society solve problems and
exchange for money but I’ll never be
poor again and poor is a state of mind
of feeling out of control
scarcity minded taking pride in being
blue-collar no one should ever take
pride in being blue-collar period period
you’ve got a brain you’ve got a solution
to a problem that people want to pay for
put it out there so when you say
scarcity minded abundant minded what do
you mean
well the scarcity minded person says Oh
someone else opened up a gym you know
across the street from me they’re gonna
put me out of business I better charge
less right the abundant minded person
says someone else opened up the gym
across the street from me I better out
service them out work them out social
media them right so the scarcity minded
person is always the sky is falling the
Chicken Little mentality the omigosh of
Trump goes into office then we’re all
screwed oh my gosh if Hillary goes into
office number all screwed I don’t care
who’s in office anymore
I control my own economy the economy can
crash and go back up and back down again
I will find a way as Tony Robbins says
I’m built for winter I just didn’t know
it and so more people need to be
abundant minded in that with the economy
crashes I just have to deliver more
value and create this category of one
about myself if competition shows up I
have to out service them out work them
out social media them versus shrivel up
and die there’s a very thin dividing
line between success and failure when
you start a business from scratch and
you know if you don’t have enough money
to pay the bills you go the wrong side
of that dividing line and if you can
somehow get enough money to pay the
bills
you stay the right side of that dividing
line you know I’ve always been running
running running faster than perhaps I
should and I have great difficulty
saying no to things so keep on taking on
new things and we’ve just managed to
stay the right side of the dividing line
over the last 50 years in business but
but equally in those early days when you
when you’re starting a business without
any financial backing it’s it’s it’s
easy to slip the wrong side and in fact
you know most entrepreneurs do do slip
the wrong side and the poor the
important thing is then just pick
yourself up and you know start again and
if it doesn’t work at that time keep
keep going until you do succeed and not
to give up how did you stay motivated
all the time people ask me that all the
time and the answer is I did it and
neither did you to become successful the
separator in life is really important
you’ll think the most inspired motivated
person wins nah not really it’s the
person who can work on the day’s they’re
not inspired and motivated it’s what do
you do when you’re not feeling great
what do you do when it’s not your best
day how do you do that carries you
through as rituals and habits so when
you’re fatigued when you’re tired when
you’re under pressure you react
reflexively and so successful people
rely on habits and rituals not just
their inspiration and motivation level
of course we’re both professionals and
being motivated inspired but that’s not
every day every minute and so what do I
do I work on the days because my habits
and rituals carry me through and so
me here’s how I look at my life in my
day if I can control the first 30
minutes of my day and the last 30
minutes of my day I have a whole lot
better chance of the middle of my day
being controlled and so I’m a freak
about the first 30 minutes of every day
it’s really about the first 45 minutes
and I’m obsessive about the last 45
minutes of every single day
that gives me some illusion in my mind
and measure of control the other thing
it does it delivers to me habits and
rituals that serve me that I do every
day that are consistent it gives me
comfort in stormy times that ocean out
there is raging at the top right now
right the waves are crashing at the
bottom of that ocean it’s completely
calm at the bottom of that ocean is the
habitual part of the water right it’s
the it’s the part of the war that stays
the most consistent that’s why it’s so
calm okay
so when you see someone how to control
their emotions are up and down all the
time this is someone who is without
rituals and habits successful people
have those and so they do and so it
keeps me calm it keeps me comfortable
what I decided to do this I I first
talked to my my wife who is sitting here
in the audience and she had married a
you know relatively stable goofy but
still relatively stable a person working
at a Wall Street firm I worked at a
quantitative hedge fund and this was a
hard decision and I was looking for the
right framework in which to make that
kind of important decision and and and
the right framework I found is a regret
minimization framework and that’s just a
nerdy way of saying that you want to
project yourself to age 80 and then
think back over your life and and if
you’re if you’re if you’re 81 or the
thyou want to minimize the number of
regrets you have throughout that period
of time I think this is something a lot
of people do maybe subconsciously they
probably very few people probably name
it regret minimization framework because
most people are healthier than that but
but it was a very clear way for me to
think about making that kind of life
decision and then
and the way it helped was I thought okay
if I go do this thing and participate in
this thing called the Internet that I
genuinely believe is gonna be a big deal
and if I fail am I gonna regret having
tried and failed and I knew the answer
that was no but I also knew that if I
didn’t try that I would always regret
that I would always wonder and it would
haunt me and until that you know
mythical day which I actually hope will
come when the things most matter you so
desperately don’t want to destroy it for
being scared that you can really destroy
it sure when I hosted the Oscars I was I
was like wow man this is a billion
people and I just thought okay whatever
you do just remember you’re a kid from
Rangga in sydney you’re hosting the
Oscars have some fun you know and
luckily for me those turning points I’ve
somehow always stuck to that idea of
just having fun being an actor or even
being an artist and I had studied in
school behind the camera was not even in
the vernacular of my dreams
I was raised 9 to 5 you go to work your
work you work your way up a scale that’s
from your old man right yeah and that
was all I was able to even like I said
dream about so the idea of living life
and having a career that was in the arms
that was in the storytelling business it
was something that was really fun it was
not something that like I said I even
dreamed up I was in the right place
right time right bar guy found me and
said you want to come in and read for a
part in a movie I’m here producing
called dazed confused I said sure I got
to read for the part it’s got three
lines three lines turns in three weeks
work they’re paying me 325 bucks a day
people were telling me I’m pretty good
at it and I think I’m getting away with
something and I still do feel like I’m
getting away with didn’t you have people
just afraid man so many people are
afraid of rejection of failure but
without failure you’d have no success
we’re stuck the most biggest failure I
had a TV show called the big house got
picked up by ABC they told me that we
were gonna do 12 episodes flew me down
to New York
this is the biggest news ever I’m about
to be rich holy Sh
22 I got a TV show I’m writing executive
producing starring in the show you know
what no I’m not just gonna go down there
by myself we got to bring the cash they
said no Kevin we only flying you I said
well I’m a paid for the cast to come I
took my own money flew them all down in
New York get to New York put on my suit
people taking pictures of me walking out
this is the best thing ever
holy Sh I’m famous this is what it is I
get to the up front up front to where
they turn out your TV shows the slew of
shows there Nelson your time slides I’m
next they’re about to announce the big
house somebody puts their hand on my
chest and says Kevin wait they talking
to earpiece they said nope I’m standing
with him right now
I’m like what’s going on well they want
me to do you know they want me go on the
other side or something he goes okay
I’ll tell him they cancel they’re not
gonna pick you up you got to step back
that don’t sound right literally that
fast
they sent me home they’re like you got
to just go home TV show got picked up
six months later for six episodes the
third episodes air they cans will show
again I got to show can’t do twice in a
six-month period which has never been
done before I booked about three more
pilots got canceled there was a show
called John Stamos his show he was a
publicist and they wanted me as a series
regular the show was going great ratings
were good put me on the show show got
canceled it was everything got touched
on TV tundish I’m now just sitting out
here doing nothing
I handle money borrowed money left him
right I decided to say it I said I’m
just gonna do stand-up comedy and focus
on my craft and I slaved the role about
five years doing the same circuit over
and over you really think creativity is
important whether whatever you do I
think it’s fun too
be creative with meals that you cook or
meals that you eat or vacations that you
go on or dates that you set you know I
just think it’s fun to be creative
everyone likes that and I think
authenticity is just super important I
might be hyper aware of it because I
grew up in an industry that’s wrought
with inauthenticity that people will
look you right in the face and and
totally tell you what you need to hear
at the moment I don’t think that’s
unique to that industry but it’s filled
with it there so I I think transparency
and authenticity is just super important
I don’t mind having conflict with
someone if we can then be done with it
it’s that years spent where you know
that some things going on and you’re not
talking about it those awful
Thanksgivings with the family of cousins
you’re like hey Jim hey Neela I hate
that I hate that life’s too short for
that stuff just saw this Rumi quote that
I love set your life on fire and seek
those who fan your flames the philly
translation of that is don’t be hanging
with no jank ass Joker’s that don’t help
you shine the prerequisite for spending
time with any person is that they
nourish and inspire you
they feed your flame look at your last 5
text messages are those people feeding
your flames or dousing your fire put
your phone down for just a second and
look around look to the people around
you are those people throwing logs on
your fire or are they pissin on it the
people that you spend time with are
gonna make or break your dreams
everybody don’t deserve to be around you
you got to defend your light with your
life so who are the people in your life
that are fanning your flames shout them
out tag on below do you think there are
no hurdles or there are obstacles that
I’d overcome but
even I got to high school I wasn’t
ranked that’s you know I wasn’t ranked I
wasn’t highly touted as a high school
prospect I had nobody really running
knocking on my door saying please please
please come play for our school until
Coach McKillop called and you know
everything happens for a reason and
there’s there’s a story to everything
and and if you take time to realize you
know what what your dream is and what
you really want in life no matter what
it is whether it’s sports whether it’s
in other fields you have to realize that
there’s always work to do and you want
to be the hardest-working person and
whatever you do and you’ll put yourself
in position to be successful and you
have to have a passion about what you do
and basketball was mine and that’s what
scared me to this point go into your
house don’t quiet room and you close the
lights draw the shades and sit on a
couch and visualize a big fat check 25
G’s thousand bucks u.s. okay with your
name on it and I want you to imagine
that check and just make that check go
bigger in your mind and make it real
more real and just put it out into the
ether of the universe and the law of
attraction will take hold just think
about it boom right hello if that’s your
strategy for success
the only thing we’ll throw up in your
mailbox is not the check it’s a frickin
eviction notice from your landlord
they’ll be towing away your car your
wife or your husband or the next-door
neighbor and you’ll be so saying where’s
the check okay
the secret is a load of crap okay do I
believe in manifestation yeah
damn straight I do
but you gotta take action I’m one of
those unfortunate people I tried it I
really died some I tried it I read the
book so let me try you know
it’s like I’d try to pray for the check
never came so no one out slow taking
action guess what the check came with a
few a couple of zeros passion is not an
actionable word it’s correct you know
that those who do the things that
they’re passionate about do better but
it’s not helpful advice and so the
question is where does passion come from
passion is a result passion as an energy
passion is the feeling you have when
you’re engaged in something that you
love passion is the feeling you have
that you would probably do this for free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are and anybody who says I’m
different at home than I am at work in
one of those two places you’re lying and
the goal is to make everything you do in
home and it works something that you
have excitement to do so how do you find
the things that you’re excited to do
well it’s actually easier than you think
what are the things that you love to do
what are the things that you would do
for free you know how can you recreate
that feeling and and be papered so what
are the things that I do in the weekend
right I love I’m very involved in the
art world I love to go to museums and
galleries but I love to go see dance and
performances because I want to see how
others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night and so the
idea of finding your passion is
ironically simple because you should be
doing stuff that you enjoy sometimes
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
the people you love and what are those
where they all have in common
I find that
levels of success in almost any industry
or area correlate to a person asking
great questions in some cases they seem
absurd in fact the hallmarking way of
great questions is that sound completely
ridiculous so someone might ask like
peter thiel why can’t you achieve your
10 year goals in the next six months
there’s a thought exercise that’s
like–that’s that’s a good question to
answer for yourself and these types of
questions come up surprisingly often
with with very very impressive folks
whether it’s in business military
entertainment or otherwise and the way
you can get better at questions is by
studying interviews in part so I studied
Larry King
I studied Charlie Rose I studied Terry
Gross I studied that that go down the
list
I studied Tony Robbins who does in
person one-on-one interventions at his
events in front of ten thousand five
thousand people and he’s just genius
with how he uses questions to like
pattern interrupt and grab someone’s
attention and divert them in a more
productive productive direction now why
is that relevant relevant because
thinking is the process of asking
questions you’re asking yourself
questions then you’re answering them in
your own head so if you get better at
asking other people questions you get
better at asking yourself questions
which means you are a you’re improving
your thought performance and level of
thinking everyone has a problem with
time but the day is 24 hours and we
sleep six now I know there’s some out
there that say whoa whoa whoa whoa I
need eight but I say just sleep a little
faster because the bottom line is we
have six hours of sleep 24 hours are
available so if eighteen hours now
available to you Brooke your family your
hobbies and also to learn something new
or to do something new which could
easily be that you want to learn a new
language or that you want to read as a
new year’s resolution after
book every week where you say I’m gonna
go and reshape my party so you’re gonna
go and take this hour out of your
schedule and say I’m gonna train an hour
every day so this is for most people
huge challenge but it is totally doable
I can tell them because the kind of
things that I did when I came to this
country I mean I went to school I was
working in construction I was working
out my five hours a day I was taking
acting classes from 8 o’clock at night
to 12 midnight I was doing all of those
things I wanted to make sure that out of
the 24 hours of the day that I don’t
waste one single hour those hours were
too precious and so they’re just want to
tell people don’t give me this thing I
have a difficult time at the time and I
don’t have time for this neither of that
you have time you make the time hard
work and discipline and rehearsal and
that’s always the most thrilling way to
earn applause and everything that you’ve
seen me do I’ve always rehearsed a lot
for it
so there’s um there’s a lot of passion
that goes behind it I mean doing the
same thing I mean just being known for
like one thing your whole life it’s a
sad you know I there’s we all have so
many interests I’m sure and so you know
to get to make jobs of them all or jobs
if you could call it that
but to make businesses out of them all
and see them on a daily basis in your
light and how you visualize them is
really cool and fun and we can all do it
we all can do it so many people are so
afraid to try something because they’re
like ah like I can’t leave my job
because I’m you know I have to pay bills
or you know it’s like we’ll start small
then but don’t say you can’t because as
many times you say you can’t you’re not
going to if you don’t think you can you
won’t thoughts become things I’m in
meetings a lot my calendar gets very
full with those and then at night after
the kids have gone to bed I’m on email a
great deal I get messages during the day
that’s my chance of long responses and
then over the weekend I send a lot of
mail as well as well I take two weeks a
year to just go off and read and think
where I’m not interrupted by work or
anything else I’m just solidly trying to
think about the future and people get to
send me
things to read as part of that so-called
think week so it’s nice mix of things
about 25 percent of the time then I’m
out traveling around meeting with
customers Europe Asia and that sort of
helps me think okay do we have the right
priorities what what are people
responding well to and what would they
they like to see us do better I don’t
try to look too far in advance because I
get overwhelmed really easily you know
like if someone has a lot of weight to
lose if their goal is like lose a
hundred pounds I can only imagine like
even with me with some of my goals like
this recovery it feels like it’s so far
away and it takes so long for you to
like start seeing a difference that like
you’re naturally are motivated to keep
going right that it’d be super easy to
give up or to want to stop but if you
and I tell people is if you just focus
on all those little moments along the
way and ignore what your big goal is
time goes by so fast
like a year goes by so unbelievably fast
that it will be here before you know it
and I completely agree that sometimes if
you focus on something that is so far
away or does feel so out of reach you
can definitely get too discouraged like
before you actually try to get there
start checking in with your thoughts and
how you’re feeling each day so outside
about gratitude practice which I’m gonna
kind of talk about as well this is
probably the number one fastest way that
you can start changing your life and I’m
going to tell you about the ripple
effect that happens so it’s checking in
to see where you’re at what emotion are
you feeling in that moment so if you
wake up in the morning and you’re
anything like me I don’t necessarily
wake up in the best Boone at all so I
really need to start figuring out how to
up level my feelings right because our
feelings are the best indicators of what
we’re attracting what we’re going to
attract that day how we’re gonna feel
maybe what’s going to come into our life
who we’re going to end up talking to
because truly truly I know that we are
all on
we’re all vibrating at a different
frequency so if you are a really
positive excited happy person who knows
that great things are gonna come your
way or who’s always thinking positive
you’re gonna attract that same type of
person and I can see this through my
life as I’ve really started to uplevel
my life and my thoughts in my business
the people that are being drawn to me so
you really do it really is like attracts
like so what we want to do is we want to
get you into that mode right those
people that you’re like wow they can
just walk into a room and you just feel
their energy they’re just vibrating so
high or maybe they’re just always so
happy or they always you you just want
to be around them because you want a
piece of what they have so how do we get
there how do we become one of those
people when you wake up in the morning
maybe if you are at a low point or
you’re thinking about all the things
that you have to do that day what is a
thought or what is something that you
can do to get yourself to the next best
reachable thought so I don’t want you to
think that you have to go from zero to a
hundred in that split-second it’s
basically going from zero to five to ten
to twenty to fifty and working your way
up so it’s one thought at a time so
maybe you wake up and you just say three
things that you’re grateful for every
single morning you let yourself really
experience being grateful for it really
think about why you’re grateful and then
what you’re gonna do is as as you mosey
down the stairs to get your cup of
coffee you say three more things you’re
grateful for or I’m so grateful that I
have a job today because of what it
allows me to do and you really start
letting that sink in and you think of
something that maybe you’re excited
about something that you could create
something that you love about yourself
it’s this constant up leveling of your
thoughts so it’s guiding your thoughts
right so instead of just being mindless
which what happens we’re we’re imperfect
human beings right so when we’re
mindless and when we don’t guide our
thoughts they’re gonna go to chaos
they’re gonna go to craziness they’re
gonna go to overwhelm because life is
crazy and we are constantly getting
sidetracked we’re constantly getting
distracted it’s literally people’s
full-time job on TV on Instagram on
whatever we’re doing to distract us
right they want us to be their consumer
they want us to be completely distracted
they want us to go to this fast-food
place do this thing do that thing so we
need to bring it back to a mindful place
so really that’s what we’re doing when
we up level those thoughts is how do you
bring it back from crazy town so bring
it on back and then guide it to that
next best thought right because the next
best thought is gonna attract another
good thought attract another good
thought and it attract another good
thought when I get to the courts and you
know I have my bag and I’m wearing my my
hat in my in my hoodie this is my office
like that’s my workplace and I am like
I’m laser focus and I’ve had that I mean
I I think it’s that mentality that
whatever I just have that tunnel vision
and that’s how I go and when I leave the
courts got friends family jokes fun like
when I get to my office I close the door
and that’s me that’s you I think play
the physician but I do like that
pressure and sometimes you don’t always
succeed and that’s okay and as a forward
you have to find that balance I mean
you’re gonna shoot five times and maybe
you’ll score once maybe you won’t you
know maybe you’ll get three goals out of
three shots so it’s a little
unpredictable and you just kind of got
to go with it and have confidence in
yourself
and you worked as a lawyer and a judge
25 years on the bench even before you
broke in a TV which you did at the age
of 52 right we’re there any times that
you said to yourself and this is just
too big of a risk I did I said it right
at the beginning because as most of you
know or even tangentially involved with
the entertainment industry 99% of the
things that television produces that all
these really smart people produce fail
they spend a lot of money they invest
tens of millions of dollars to launch a
so why did I think at age 52 when nobody
knew the who the hell I was that I was
going to be able to launch a successful
career at my age well you got to be in
it to win it it’s like the lottery says
you know if you don’t buy a ticket you
can’t get that gold ring and I said I
have had a great career I really loved
the family for it I wasn’t bored with it
but a little getting a little tired of
all the failure despite my best effort
and I thought this might be an adventure
you gonna put you how to pension and you
had your health coverage and you still
had those license plates that were
helpful but I gave it a shot yeah and
you gave it your all I gave it a shot
and the truth is the people originally
that produced my program if I would have
listened to them it would have been a
failure that’s true I can say that not
because they can’t do anything to me too
many of us for a long time have confused
our net worth and our self-worth your
net worth is going to fluctuate it’s
going to go up and down that’s what
money does but your self-worth should
not who you are what’s important to you
how you live your values should never be
negotiable
compromised and should never settle
again we have gotten to this point what
we’ve got to say to ourselves my net
worth is not my self-worth in the CEO of
today not only has to have leadership
skills and an IQ there’s got to be a
healthy dose of EQ the emotional side
because Millennials today young people
today want to come to work for a company
that cares about them they want to feel
connected to the company and I think
it’s critically important that we
humanize the CEO the CEO cannot be this
imperialist that’s sitting there but a
human right superior we have to remove
the barriers between the CEO and the
frontline and that requires a new skill
to so I don’t want to say it’s me
but I think a lot of women CEOs actually
can do pretty well in today’s
environment because by nature we are we
humanize ourselves a lot more because
that’s the way we’ve been brought up and
we listen a lot more I think we stop and
ask for directions
you know there’s so much we do and I
think that today’s world I mean there’s
a new breed of CEOs have come up men and
women who are doing a very very nice job
but all of them I think are a new breed
that’s learning that the world is
completely different and recognizing
that EQ is as important as IQ that’s
what I’m trying to focus on as much as I
can
I believe that I can only should expect
to make money and things that I
understand and when I say understand I
don’t mean understand you know what the
product does or anything like that I
mean understand what the economics of
the business are likely to look at look
like ten years from now or 20 years ago
I know in general what the economics
will say Wrigley chewing gum will look
like ten years now
the internet isn’t going to change the
way people chew gum it isn’t going to
change what you come they chew
you know if you own the chewing gum
market in a big way and you’ve got
double mint spearmint juicy fruit those
brands will be there ten years from now
so I can’t pinpoint exactly what the
numbers are gonna look like on Rigby but
I’m not gonna be way off if I try to
look forward on something like that that
evaluating that company is within what I
call my circle of competence I
understand what they do I understand the
economics of it I understand the
competitive aspects of the business so
figuring out the economic consequences
TV
I think there’s I don’t know 20 25
million cents a year so in the United
States I don’t think there’s one of them
made in the United States anymore I mean
you’d say TV set manufacturer what a
wonderful business sight everybody now
nobody had a TV in 1950 or thereabouts
45 to 50 everybody has multiple sets now
nobody is in the United States and made
any real money making the sense that
they’re all out of business
you know the Magnavox is the RCA is all
of those companies radio was the
equipment of the 20 over 500 companies
making radios in the 1920s again I don’t
think there’s a u.s. radio manufacturer
at the present time but coca-cola you
know I was at 1884 Jacobs pharmacy or
whatever and fellow comes up with
something a lot of cock copiers over the
years but now you’ve got a company that
is selling roughly 1.1 billion eight
ounce servings of its product not all
cokes
right and some others daily throughout
the world 117 years later so
understanding the economic
characteristics of a business is
different than predicting the fact that
an industry is going to do wonderfully
so I look at the internet businesses or
I look at tech messes I say this is a
marvelous thing and I love to play
around on the computer and it now I
wonder my books from Amazon and all
kinds of things but I don’t know who’s
gonna win unless I know who’s gonna win
I’m not interested in investing I’ll
just play around on the computer and
defining your circle of competence is
the most important aspect of investing
it’s not how important how large your
circle is you don’t have to be an
expert on everything but knowing where
the perimeter of that circle of what you
know on what you don’t know is and
staying inside of it is all-important
tom watson seniors started IBM said in
this book he said I’m no genius said but
I’m smart in spots and I stay around
those spots and you know that is the key
so if I understand a few things and I
stick in that arena I’ll do okay and if
I don’t understand something but I don’t
excited about it because my neighbors
are talking about the stocks are going
up and everything they start fooling
around someplace else eventually I’ll
get creamed and I should tend to be
incredibly modest in terms of describing
your talents and you you always seem to
belittle your your abilities to a
certain extent when clearly there
there’s a reason why this everything you
do has been working out I was reading
about how you said that to certain
extent that comes from your your punk
rock roots yep there’s no other choice
in those days there was no idea of this
makes money there’s no idea like this is
my future it was like a week at a time
they have five shows we’re gonna get to
Sunday and even those days were like
fraught with turbulence and so I never
really saw a future none of us did and
some of us you know didn’t make it some
of them are dead and some of them are
just kind of trying to recreate their
past and so I realized that I have to be
very hardworking because I don’t have
kind of the ease of talent and I come
from that and I think it you know a lot
of ways that served me very well
in that I am is kind of hardworking as
I’ve ever been completely on without
confidence and I have none I don’t I
don’t want any because I think you turn
your back on the thing and that’s when
you get gored is when you think I got
this I never think I got this I think oh
man don’t screw this up and I go at
everything like including you and I
sitting here right now I’m trying to be
fully engaged and that intensity I think
has served me quite well but it comes
from punk rock absolutely last boss I
ever had was my boss at haagen-dazs III
my ice cream shop and
to this day he still comes to my shows
and whenever I see Steve who got me my
first apartment who believed I was
living in my car he believed in me
whenever I see him I get all weepy it’s
good to see you sir Henry you can call
me Steve I can’t do that sir because
because he trusted me with his money
and I said let me run your store I know
how to do this I can do this he’s like
well if you screw up you’re out again I
said I won’t screw up and I end up being
I ran a store and so um it was but it
was anger that said I’ll be here all
damn week I’ll get this whole thing
right I fired his staff and rehired a
bunch of people can really work and it’s
it was out of anger like I’ll be back in
four hours to run this $3 and 75 cent an
hour job into the ground and then I
joined Black Flag and I thought I was a
hardworking person then you meet the
guys in Black Flag who are so driven
you’d see Greg Ginn work 23 hour days
like Greg you’re still on the phone I
know Greg when did you eat I don’t know
Greg when the last time you showered do
we have a shower like the guy we were
not gonna be stopped and I kind of go at
that intensity
what kind of anything I do like you’re
very calm good-looking young man look at
me I’m a spaz sitting next to York I’m
doing an interview with you focus I’m
sweating ma’am and so
but I’d like it’s going to the airport
like ten miles out and so it’s but it’s
anger that has informed kind of my life
and unflatteringly a sense of vengeance
every damn person who said I wouldn’t be
anything I’m crushing them every day
everybody I had to endure in any band I
was in everyday into a powder yeah thank
you and I wish them no ill I just wish
to shine brighter and if it burns my
body to a crisp
I’m happy to go right now my story is
that I am a researcher and I never
thought I would have a big public career
and so I did a TED talk that went very
viral and in the wake of that I was kind
of everywhere for a couple of months on
every cnn.com NPR it was everywhere and
something I wasn’t used to and the
marching orders from my therapist and my
husband were do not read the comments
it’s a one morning I woke up and there
were two or three new articles out and I
started reading the comments and they
were devastating they weren’t about my
work they were about me
they were super personal and they were
the things that creative people play in
their mind and then give up doing what
they really want to do like if I asked
every single one of you you would try
what would you try if you knew people
would never say this about you what
would that what would this be
it would those were the comments that
morning
of course she embraces imperfection what
choice does she have would which look at
how she looks I feel sorry for her kids
less research more Botox just mean
personal attacks the things that really
up until that moment had inspired me to
stay very small in my life in my career
just so I could avoid those things
so that morning Steve and the kids leave
I stay home I get on the couch and I
watch eight hours of Downton Abbey and
when it’s over I don’t want to turn off
Downton Abbey because I then because
through the administered on Finn Abbey
then it’s like soccer practice and
dinner and back to the mean people and
maybe even shit I get Botox and maybe
you know maybe if I stand still I talk
so I get my laptop and I do a search for
who was president in the United States
during the Downton Abbey era have you
ever done that like you you’re numbing
with TV or movie and so when it’s over
you just like stay in that space by like
learning more about the actors and
what’s going on I’ve been doing this
long enough to know this is like you’re
laughing with me
so I put it in and Theodore Roosevelt
comes up and a quote comes up and I read
it and this is what it says it’s a quote
from a speech that he gave in the early
nineteen hundred’s of the Sorbonne and a
lot of people call them in the arena
speech and this is the passage that
changed changes my life it’s not the
critic who counts it’s not the man who
points out how the strong man stumbles
or where the doer of Deeds could have
done it better the credit belongs to the
person who’s actually in the arena whose
face is marred with blood and sweat and
dust who at the best in the end knows
the triumph of high achievement and who
at worst if he fails he fails daring
greatly so the moment that I read that I
close my laptop and this is what shifted
in me three huge things first I’ve spent
the last 12 years studying vulnerability
and that quote was everything I know
about vulnerability it is not about
winning it’s not about losing it’s about
showing up and
scene the second thing this is who I
want to be I want to create I want to
make things that didn’t exist before I
touch them I want to show up and be seen
in my work and in my life and if you’re
going to show up and be seen
there is only one guarantee and that is
you will get your ass kicked
that is the guarantee that’s the only
certainty you have if you’re gonna go in
the arena and spend any time in there
whatsoever especially if you’ve
committed to creating in your life you
will get your ass kicked so you have to
decide at that moment I think for all of
us if courage is a value that we hold
this is a consequence you can’t avoid it
the third thing which really set me free
and I think Steve my husband would argue
has made me somewhat dangerous it’s kind
of a new philosophy about criticism
which is this if you’re not in the arena
also getting your ass kicked I’m not
interested in your feedback you stare at
your past and you’ll end up staying
there it’s okay to look back and admire
it
but you carry on I’m not I’m not in the
business of staring staring back at it
you know I mean I’m getting lost back
there it’s people say you can people say
a loss can make a break a fight that but
trust me a win can also make a break a
fire because they get comfortable with
it with a win people can get comfortable
with it with a win and and and slack off
then slack off on the train and slack
off on the diet they’ve won more they’re
winners now that’s not me you know you
sleep on a you sleep on a win and you’ll
wake up with a loss so I just carry on
keep doing what I’m doing and that’s why
these turnaround is so good for me Vegas
straight away the Fighting Irish gotta
head to the fighting capital it’s it’s
perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top and
only gonna go as far as you think you’re
worthy I can push you can push you you
can have the greatest product but if you
don’t feel worthy you will work hard to
sabotage that relationship you don’t
know right you don’t know you’re doing
you think these are the things I need
and you’re driving that guy away you’re
driving that one
because your self-worth says they
weren’t gonna stay forever anyway or
self-worth around money you have a cat
that you feel like you’re worthy of a
million dollars you will always get to
999 four thousand and you will stop
because your self-worth says it what’s a
good exercise or process that we can
follow on a daily basis maybe something
simple to enhance our enrichment
absolutely worthiness absolutely I did
this for six months every single day
right after I brush my teeth and it’s
the ICU exercise and you get in the
mirror now it’s not necessarily simple
because because you deliver yourself of
course and as complicated as you are
will be the degree an acceptable
mechanics are yes I appreciate that
distinction um you get in the mirror and
you complete three different sentences
you want to write this down the first
sentence you look at yourself
and you say your name so you would say
Louis and you complete this is I’m proud
that you and find seven different things
every day to celebrate yourself for
seven different each day you can do the
same thing you did the day before
but each they do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut
Louis I forgive you for and cut the
shackles to blame shame guilt regret and
anger in that sentence you cut those
five shackles not the first day maybe
not the third day but by the 21st day by
the thirteenth day you’ll feel some
relief so Louis I forgive you for and go
back five years 15 years 20 years did
that forgive you fit for that thing
don’t nobody know about but you go ahead
and cut those shackles because if you
can still think about it is still in
your energy space and then the third
sentence is Louis I commit to you that
before you make a commitment to anybody
else throughout your day you make seven
commitments to you so the first sentence
I’m proud that you you’re celebrating
yourself first
we are under celebrated as as a society
we look for acknowledgement they enter
they interviewed a hundred executives
that all made over a quarter of a
million dollars and said would you like
a 5% raise next year or would you rather
be told thank you more often 100 percent
100 percent said keep your money I’d
rather hear thank you so we’re under
celebrated but first celebrate you be
the example when I was on Oprah when she
said what do you do I said I recognize
that I’m the example of how the rest of
the world is supposed to treat me and
it’s my job to give the world the best
example of how I like to be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that I say to the my girls all of the
time that your real work is to figure
out where your power base is and to work
on the alignment of your personality
your gifts that you have to give with
the real reason why you’re here that’s
that’s the number one thing you have to
do is to work on yourself and to fill
your self up and keep your cup full keep
yourself full now I used to be afraid of
that I used to be afraid particularly
from people who say oh she’s that she’s
so full of herself
she’s herself and now I embrace it I
considered a compliment that I am full
of myself because you only when you’re
full I’m full I’m overflowing my cup
runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it every
single day that we wake up we have been
gifted the opportunity of choice you can
choose to be happy or you can choose to
be sad I don’t care what your situation
is you should never allow your situation
to define who you are as a person I know
I lived out of my car for two-and-a-half
years and you know the story that I told
them up myself in my head every day all
day long why does this person get this
why does it why’s this always keep
happening to me why do I keep getting
this girlfriend this kind of girlfriend
why does this happen to me how come this
person got this record deal and I didn’t
how come this person why oh poor pity me
shut up Garin Jones the outside is the
physical manifestation of what goes on
inside the brain things do not just
happen no one just rear-ends your car
you don’t just become broke broke is a
mindset things don’t just happen your
pocketbook is not just below balance or
on zero
you’re not just over just by chance
you’re just overweight things don’t just
happen I wasn’t just living out of my
car for two and a half years the outside
is the physical manifestation of what
goes on inside the brain just like you
can think yourself sad or mad or broke
and all these things you can also think
yourself happy I’m telling you coming
from a guy that lived out of his car for
two and a half
years I have stuff that I haven’t even
posted online day 1 day 2 day 3 day 4
day month like month year it came it was
so bad that I was numb with emotion numb
with emotions crying myself to sleep cry
myself to sleep in my Jeep how does a
guy with so much passion live in his car
for two and a half years it was all
because of me I deserved to live in my
car I deserved to be broke
I deserved not to have the opportunities
that I should have been getting and they
weren’t for me but I’ll tell you what
was for me I woke up every day with an
opportunity to choose different if you
want something different you have to do
something different it’s that simple you
want something different in life you
have to do something different whatever
it is that you want to do your there’s
gonna be risk in your life and risk is a
necessary component of progress you can
make any pioneering movements in the
world of any kind whether they be the
geographical physical exploration that
I’ve just been talking about or whether
it be you know a more cerebral
exploration of a scientific field or I
bet you could ask that question of every
speaker here and I bet that every
speaker here has taken substantial risks
whether it be intellectual or otherwise
to achieve what they’re you know what
they’ve done I believe people are
bullied because of the image that they
they projected when I was young I had a
lot of a big lack of confidence and in
my school where I used to go the other
day lincoln teenager they used to pick
on the younger kids that were sent there
because they used to that problem with
their family raised by single father or
mother like alcoholic some were our
orphan and you know they grew up in a
bad environment with a lot of violence
so the only way of communication they
had it was true violence
and they used to apply that to the
younger kid in school and I was victim
of that unfortunately so so that thing
is that when I go to do conference the
people why why you get bully sometimes
is because the image you project if you
look down raise their shoulder and look
like a weakling in like in nature the
lion will always go for the animal who’s
weak whose injure the same thing in
society the people will bully that easy
target and when I was young I had a big
problem with confidence you know I used
to people look down you know I didn’t
have older brother or older cousin to
defend myself I was by myself you know
and I got picked on because I was an
easy target like this so what martial
art taught me is to stand up straight
when I look I talk to people I look in
the eye when I shake and I’m firm and
the way I start to carry myself the body
language transform me it’s that I I stop
being bullying that because I start
beating up people right just because I
the way I was starting to act the way I
was starting to the the projection that
I give to people change and that’s what
makes it stop it’s not about being tall
now it’s about presenting an and an in
love look tough and look confident look
confident
that’s about same thing in business same
thing when you go ask a girl on a date
absolutely good I am sorry I I don’t
want to bother you but please could you
think you could come with me Saturday
night to the rail you know like it
wouldn’t work you know like they go ask
you for a raise look like a loser you
don’t you have to be for you know
into finishing the only work that
mattered to me I was set free because my
greatest fear had been realized and I
was still alive and I still had a
daughter whom I adored and I have an old
typewriter and a big idea and so bottom
became the solid foundation on which I
rebuilt my life it is impossible to live
without failing at something you might
as well not have lived at all it took a
couple months to like reel I mean I was
17 at the time I just finished high
school two months earlier and I’m now
living in Melbourne I mean I was playing
catch up really quickly anyway I was
living on my own in a new city where I
had never met anyone two hour flight
away from anyone I knew and I had no
money and I was like just trying to find
couches to sleep on at that point plus
before you’re 18 you can’t like sign up
and get electricity bills and stuff like
that so no one would rent a place to me
I didn’t have any money the whole thing
was like I was just trying to like keep
my head above water at that point and
then once it settled in and I kind of
got settled there and you know it’s
working constantly then that’s when I
felt like oh yeah I’ve seen I’ve seen
people make the jump from here to
America so my choices are either stay on
you know be good enough to stay on this
show the decades the way some cost
members have which you know you’d have a
lovely life in Melbourne or you screw it
up and get fired which I didn’t
obviously didn’t want to take that
option or try and make the transition to
the American and industry you know try
and move to LA and do pilot season as I
had seen a few cast members do at that
point so that is my goal any fear when
you made the made the flight yes but it
wasn’t as scary yes definitely but it
wasn’t as scary as that first moved to
Melbourne that first move to Melbourne
was terrifying because I was just you
know I like I said I didn’t have money
at the time I didn’t
Like Heaven I didn’t know when you at
least when I moved to LA like when I did
that flight to LA I knew two people
there already who had already been our
neighbors and I had my money saved so if
anything went really wrong I knew I
could afford to get in a cab drive to
the airport and buy a ticket home and so
like I that’s all I needed to know I was
like cool I’m sweet whatever happens
like if anything goes really wrong I can
always afford to fly hard and they’ll be
fine
and it never once you got here did ever
seem like anything was going really
longer yeah obviously like the ups and
downs and like the crazy as anyone who’s
moved to a new city before I’m sure I’ve
had crazy experiences so I had all that
for sure but that no it was fine I was
uh it would have had to take a lot to
make me fly um I was like I will not be
a failure I came here and I’m not going
home until I’ve made it in this business
so a lot of people come to me they say
well I want to be an entrepreneur and I
go that’s great what’s your idea and
they go well I don’t have one yet and I
say well I think you should go get a job
as a busboy or something so you find
something you’re really passionate about
because it’s a lot of work and I’m
convinced that about half of what
separates the successful entrepreneurs
from the non successful ones is pure
perseverance it is so hard you pour so
much your life into this thing there are
such rough moments in time that most
people give up I don’t blame them it’s
really tough and it consumes your life I
mean if you’re if you’ve got a family
and you’re in the early days of a
company it’s I can’t imagine how one
could do it
I’m sure it’s it’s been done but it’s
rough for me because it’s a pretty much
a you know an 18 hour day job seven days
a week for a while so unless you have a
lot of passion about this you’re gonna
not survive you’re gonna give it up so
you’ve got to have an idea or a problem
or a wrong that you want to write that
you’re passionate about otherwise you’re
not going to have the perseverance to
stick it through and I think that’s half
the battle right there it’s hard to
remember how bad it was you know a night
early 80s with IBM taking over the world
with the PC with das out there it was it
was far worse than the Apple 2 and they
tried to copy the Apple 2 and they done
a pretty bad job and if you needed to
know a lot and so things were kind of
slipping backwards and Macintosh was you
saw the 1984 commercial but I hope you
have that in your archives
you know Macintosh was basically this
this relatively small company you know
in Cupertino California taking on the
Goliath IBM and saying wait a minute
your way is wrong this is not the way we
want computers to go this is not the
legacy we want to leave this is not what
we want our kids to be learning this is
wrong and we are going to show you the
right way to do it and here it is it’s
called Macintosh and this is so much
better that it’s gonna beat you and we
are gonna do it and that’s what Apple
stood for they work to your potential
not your quota if you want to stay
really motivated if you want to answer
the question – why people that have
already made it keep pushing it is
because they don’t operate on quotas
they operate off potential they’re
driven to reach their potential this is
also tied to their ethical obligation
they know what they’re capable of
nobody can tell you what you’re capable
of you’re the only one that knows ok
so work to your potential not your quota
quotas are numbers
who made them up some guy says ok your
quota is blah blah ok based on what how
do you come up with that quota he only
picked that quota that number because he
thinks is significant are compared to
other people maybe in your industry
look don’t operate on quotas you want
them clearly you want them but you want
to be driven to reach your potential not
just some numbers some mechanics hey my
potential I know nobody else knows that
I know what it is you know yours work to
your potential not just a quota and I
promise you you will be on fire day and
night
your values and your goals should be
aligned they should not be adversarial
they shouldn’t be countered to each
other and if you think about what your
goals are your goals should be set up in
a way that they support your values and
vice versa that’s just the way it is so
I’m not sure where this is gonna be an
issue if you’re setting up goals that
are contrary to your values you’ve got
some issues now I guess if you had the
goal of winning the blue belt jiu-jitsu
championships and in order to win you
you cheated like you claimed someone was
reaping your leg and use it all you tap
and you get the guide to qualified and
you win that’s could be an example right
yeah now do I support that no you know
that’s wrong you you go in against the
values of actually the values of martial
arts to do that so you didn’t win
anything and you didn’t achieve your
goal because you weren’t actually the
best so I say no on that one uh another
one let’s say you wanted to make a
certain level of profit at your company
so you cheated a little bit on the
quality of the manufacturing and you
sold items that weren’t quite reliable
do I support that no right for animal
and why let me tell you why because your
goal your goal is not even aligned with
your goal itself because when you start
making substandard manufactured items
what’s gonna happen in the long run keep
I’m gonna say we don’t like these yeah
we’re not gonna buy them anymore so you
didn’t win you might have wanted the
short term but you didn’t win and and
again you’re going against your value
you should have values that you don’t
want to you know take profit over making
good product and again in the long run
that value is gonna cost you right
people aren’t gonna want to buy your
product anymore it’s only one way to get
rich and that’s quick that’s not a
get-rich-quick scheme though makes the
world’s too expensive to get rich slow
and what I mean by getting rich quick is
that there are certain things you have
to know on the inner game of wealth how
you manage your emotional state your
beliefs your standards your focus in the
outer game entrepreneurship sales
marketing how to develop multiple
streams of income once you it takes time
that’s where the hard works a lot of
work those into getting this lined up
and that lined up but once you have it
all wanted then we’ve done the work then
you can make money very very quickly so
it’s not a scheme but you got to get
rich quick and you have to put the work
in I say if you don’t wanna work hard
good luck I mean I don’t know any rich
people it don’t work really really hard
that’s the bottom line so hard work and
knowing that knowing stuff skills you
know again when you get rich it happens
quickly but there’s a lot of work that
goes up to that point before the money
starts pouring and that’s the
distinction that I think a lot of people
who are not wealthy they don’t get that
they think that it’s you accumulate
money a little bit at a time it doesn’t
work that way you work work work don’t
get the resultant BAM one last piece of
the puzzle clicks in whether it’s not
knowing how to close and all happens I
spoke at an education summit for
Microsoft I also spoke at an education
summit for education from Mike at the
education summit for Microsoft I would
say that 70% of the executives spent
about 70% of their presentations talking
about how to beat Apple at the Apple
education summit a hundred percent of
the executives spent a hundred percent
of their presentations talking about how
to help teachers teach and how to help
students learn one is playing this way
and one is playing that way one is
playing finite and the other one is
playing infinite guess which one gets
frustrated so at the end of my talk at
Microsoft they gave me a gift they gave
me the news Zune when it was a thing and
let me tell you this thing was
spectacular
it was the most elegant piece of
technology I’d ever used the user
interface was incredible the design was
spectacular I absolutely loved it
it was easy to use and it was bright and
gorgeous and it didn’t work on iTunes
which is a different problem so I
couldn’t use it but but it was amazing
and elegant by God it was elegant
so I’m sitting in the back of a taxi
with a very senior Apple executive sort
of employee number 12 kind of guy and
you know I like to stir pots so I turned
him I said you know Microsoft gave me
their new Zune and it is so much better
than your iPod touch
and he turned to me and he said I have
no tab conversation over because the
infinite player understands sometimes
your head and sometimes your behind
sometimes your product is better and
sometimes it’s worse the goal isn’t to
be the best every day the goal isn’t out
to outdo your competition every day
that’s a finite construction if I had
said to Microsoft I’ve got the new iPod
touch and it’s so much better than your
Zune they would have said can we see it
what does it do react react react react
finite players play to be bet to beat
the people around them infinite players
play to be better than themselves to
wake up every single day and say how can
we make our company a better version of
itself today than it was yesterday how
can we create a product this week that’s
better than the product we created last
week we also have to play the infinite
game it’s not about being ranked number
one it’s not about having more followers
on Twitter than your friends it’s not
about outdoing anyone it’s about how to
outdo yourself it’s not about selling
more books or getting more ten views
than somebody else it’s about how to
make sure that the work that you’re
producing is better than the work you
produced before you are your competition
and that is what ensures you stay in the
game the longest and that is what
ensures you find joy because the joy
comes not from comparison but from
advancement
if you think you’re going to be a lot
happier if you’ve got to X instead of X
you’re probably making a mistake I mean
it yeah you oughta you ought to find
something you like
that’s that works with that and it and
you know get in trouble if if you think
that making 10 extra 20 X is the answer
to everything in life because then you
will do things like borrow money when
you should endure or maybe cut corners
on things that your boy wants you to cut
corners on ER it just doesn’t make any
sense you won’t like it when you look
back on it happen free things
and hiring people look for integrity
intelligence and energy and he said if a
person didn’t have the first two that
the latter two would kill him because if
they don’t have integrity you want to be
dumb and lazy you don’t want them smart
and energetic all of those liabilities
that they talked about started turning
into assets when it had Conan the
Barbarian the director came to me and he
said if we wouldn’t have you people
don’t have to build one and then
Terminator the director said I couldn’t
imagine to have anyone pre-terminated it
wouldn’t have an accent
they wouldn’t have your body I cannot
imagine the line I’ll be back with a
normal American accent it works so
perfectly then you have this German
accent so all of those things that they
say the liabilities became an asset the
moment as moment went on they grew and
grew and I went from one movie to the
next so they’re making more and more
money and then an aunt ended up being
the highest-paid actor with 30 million
dollars and Terminator 3 I directed like
music videos before for the Foo Fighters
and in it’s I mean it’s easy I honestly
I honestly believe that if you’re if
you’re focused and passionate and driven
you can achieve anything you want to
achieve in life because I honestly
believe that because you’ll figure it
out you know what I mean so I never took
lessons to play the drums I just
figured it out Ben I never took lessons
to play guitar maybe a few but I just
listen to Beatles records you know and
so but I would listen to it I would
listen and were in practice by myself in
my bedroom obsessively and so throughout
life I’ve always kind of figured that
that’s just how you do stuff like if you
have a natural inclination and a real
like drive to do something that you can
figure it out well now that we can see
how short life really can be what are
you gonna do with the rest of your life
that’s the biggest trigger that I have
ever experienced what are you gonna do
the rest of your life and what I had to
do is I had to start taking some of my
own advice I have been telling people I
had written about it for a very long
time that if you’re doing something that
you’re not totally committed to if
you’re doing something that you’re not
totally passionate about you’re
compromising yourself every day it’s
very easy to mistake an impulse that
comes to you for some deeper answer that
comes out of the stillness and so in any
decision-making process you have
basically two factors well most people
only have you have the information
that’s available to you and so make sure
that you you have the information that
of all the facts that you need sometimes
before making a decision you may have a
few a number of facts and sometimes
these facts may not be sufficient so
then you go within and see what
questions can you can ask in order to
elicit more facts or information from
whoever is capable of giving to you that
information this I’m talking very
general terms whether you’re in business
or wherever you are or some personal
decision that you need to arrive at me
on one level facts are need to be looked
at what is the situation and sometimes
the facts are not clear enough or you
are not enough facts and you become
stale and see what questions you can ask
somebody may be able to supply more
detailed facts but you know order to ask
the right question you already need a
moment of stillness so this you may not
immediately get an answer through
stillness the first step as you become
alert and still is
another question what a very important
thing in decision-making process is not
to come up with a decision but to ask
the right question that can elicit what
you need in order to arrive at a
decision and in order to ask the right
question there needs to be that alert
stillness for moment and in that alert
stillness you kind of listen within and
then a question comes this is I often
when somebody they call me and say we’ve
had they saw that offered somebody wants
you to do this somebody wants you to do
that interview somebody wants to that
and very often I don’t immediately say
yes or no I usually come up with a few
questions
what in addition to the information that
they gave me well what about that and
that and that and then say oh okay I’ll
get back to you I’ll find out then they
call again then I know a bit more and
sometimes on the basis of the factual
information you already know whether you
want to do it or not you more easily
know that you don’t want to do it just
by looking at the facts stay in front of
the competition because there’s two ways
ins industry you you move with it or it
moves you and I’ve seen so many sad
stories across the decade
where chefs have just got lazy got lazy
given up and lost that hunger to become
because it’s the best job in the world
that’s not really a job it’s a passion
because when you’re rubbing shoulders
and here we are now ten years later and
I’ve got a restaurant next door to Jamie
Oliver’s and we’re both literally two
meters apart phenomenal chef and we keep
each other on our toes
so that’s exciting for me and that’s
been the one key issue across the ten
years of filming Kitchen Nightmares
never ever ever give up my advice would
be the same for any kind of entrepreneur
and that is make sure that you are
focused on something you’re passionate
about so if you look at the early
internet companies they were started and
focused on doing something that they
thought was very interesting long before
the internet was fashionable in anyway
you know I I you know we are currently
an underdog once again we’ve been in
business for six years and there was
exactly one year where we were not the
underdog and that was 1999 I like the
the underdog years because it makes you
know I liked it when all the people we
hired their parents told them they were
crazy like that was the that was kind of
the good era fortunately it’s back in
1999 all the parents were like you know
given their brothers and sisters high
fives you know my son is working at
amazon.com so that’s a very you can’t
follow the fashion when you’re trying to
do a startup company or I think really
anything in life but you have to as an
entrepreneur if you’re gonna if you’re
gonna build a company pick something you
think is interesting that has the
intersection of genuinely creating real
customer value and then just stay right
there and let the weight of catch you
you can spend your whole life imagining
ghosts worrying about the pathway to the
future but all there will ever be is
what’s happening here in the decisions
we make in this moment which are based
in either love or fear so many of us
choose our path out of fear disguised as
what we really want seems impossibly out
of reach and ridiculous to expect so we
never dare to ask the universe for it
I’m saying I’m the proof that you can
ask the universe for it please and if it
doesn’t happen for you right away it’s
only because the universe is so busy
my father could have been a great
comedian but he didn’t believe that that
was possible for him and so he made a
conservative choice instead he got a
safe job as an accountant and when I was
12 years old he was let go from that
safe job and our family had to do
whatever we could to survive I learned
many great lessons from my father not
the least of which was that you can fail
at what you don’t want so you might as
well take a chance on doing what you
love so many people put me down and say
Nick you look too weird and no one’s
really offended you can’t do this and
you can’t do that and I couldn’t change
anything I it’s not like it’s fixing my
hair one day and everything’s fine it’s
not like you know just whatever I
couldn’t change my circumstance I could
have just one day wake up and say hey
give me arms legs I need arms legs yeah
I mean like I went to a bodybuilder you
know and said can you make me some arms
and legs so Jackie buddy bill do you get
it right hey you know I got to be able
can you give me a hand you know just
joking him but it was so hard because
people put me down and I started
believing that I was not good enough I
started believing that I was a failure
they’ll never ever be somebody who
people would like or people would accept
and it was so hard man I thought to
myself I you know I can’t go on to go
into the soccer field with like
everybody else and I can’t ride my bike
and I can’t skateboard and all these
sort of things and I started getting
depressed I thought what kind of purpose
do I have to live I mean do you are you
just here to live to die I mean is there
not a purpose for me is there not a
purpose in life and I had questions and
no answers and I asked my mom and dad
why did this happen I asked doctors why
did this happen they don’t know there
are some things in life that are out of
your control that you can’t change and
you got to live with the choice that we
have though is either to give up or keep
on going
I want to ask you what are you gonna
believe are you gonna believe in
yourself you’re gonna believe everybody
else’s judgement on you are you gonna
believe people when they say that you’re
a failure no one really likes you no one
really cares about you it’s not really
to say that hey you need someone to come
up and say hey really I I like you I
care about you no it’s not that but it’s
the fact that people put you down people
don’t even look you in the eye people
ask you how you why and you say fine but
you’re not fine and they’ll know don’t
ever know that I’ve never actually
thought I was you know starting a
company as such I just saw situations as
I traveled in life where I felt I could
improve on the way things were being
done by other people so yeah so favorite
phrases is screw it let’s do it
I’ve used that phrase a lot of times and
we’ve and and we’ve you know we just
love going in and trying to shake up
industries and doing it better than it’s
been done before because all the time
why well I hate to say it the best way
for me to get how I feel across I can’t
see and say you know what I went through
hell week and man it was it was really
hard no that takes your damn soul rips
it inside out and then they say now
we’re going to start it it allows me to
express where I was at at a point of my
life if I don’t give you all of me why
the hell am I here
why how will you learn from me people
take so much offense to me you will
never learn from people if we always
tap-dance around the truth oh god I love
that we tap-dance around the truth by
finding the right words I don’t hurt you
because you have thin skin no tighten up
people it’s okay
trust me it’s okay you might be called
nigger one day
it’s okay you might be called some
Jewish word or some faggot or gay word
it’s okay let them call you that what
are you going to do now they don’t own
your life how are you going to control
that now how are you going to flip it
upside down and say Roger that now
harnesses and you read about me years
from now how that’s the question how are
you gonna do that thicken your skin
become more of a human being don’t be
afraid of the reflection in the mirror
because that’s all you can be afraid of
once you overcome the reflection in the
mirror you’ve done it
ideas are worth nothing I mean ideas are
really they’re not a dime a dozen
they’re just nothing
all the good founders I know even the
bad founders can come up with ideas all
day long it doesn’t mean anything you
have to be able to execute and you know
one of the sort of Maxim’s that I was
told once was you know your success will
be measuring the number of uncomfortable
conversations you’re willing to have so
I think it asked if an entrepreneur
should say start a business based on one
of their passions or if they should find
the most attractive market opportunity
and build a business out of that whether
they like it or not I don’t think it’s
either/or I think you need both I would
say look here in credit card statement
identify where you spend an unusual
percentage of your income where are you
price insensitive then how old are you
what gender are you where do you live
and design a product that has all of
those things intersecting tend to be
incredibly modest in terms of describing
your talents and you you always seem to
belittle your your abilities to a
certain extent when clearly there
there’s a reason why this everything you
do has been working out I was reading
about how you said that to a certain
extent that comes from your your punk
rock roots yep there’s no other choice
in those days there’s no idea of this
makes money there’s no idea like this is
my future it was like a week at a time
they have five shows we’re gonna get to
Sunday and even those days were like
fraught with turbulence and so I never
really saw a future none of us did and
some of us you know didn’t make it some
of them are dead and some of them are
just kind of trying to recreate their
past and so I realized that I have to be
very hardworking because I don’t have
kind of the ease of talent and I come
from that and I think
you know a lot of ways that served me
very well in that I am as kind of
hard-working as I’ve ever been
completely on without confidence and I
have none I don’t I don’t want any
because I think you turn your back on
the thing and that’s when you get gored
is when you think I got this I never
think I got this I think oh man don’t
screw this up and I go at everything
like including you and I sitting here
right now I’m trying to be fully engaged
and that intensity I think has served me
quite well but it comes from punk rock
absolutely last boss I ever had was my
boss at haagen-dazs I my ice cream shop
and to this day he still comes to my
shows and whenever I see Steve who got
me my first apartment who believed I was
living in my car he believed in me
whenever I see him I get all weepy hey
it’s good to see you sir Henry you can
call me Steve I can’t do that sir
because because he trusted me with his
money and and I said let me run your
store I know how to do this I can do
this he’s like well if you screw up
you’re out of here I said I won’t screw
up when I end up being I ran a store and
so um it would but it was anger that
said I’ll be here all damn week I’ll get
this whole thing right I fired his staff
and rehired a bunch of people can really
work and it’s it went out of anger
like I’ll be back in four hours to run
this $3 and 75 cent an hour job into the
ground and then I joined Black Flag and
I thought I was a hardworking person
then you meet the guys in Black Flag who
are so driven you’d see Greg Ginn work
23 hour days like Greg you’re still on
the phone I know Greg 1 when did you eat
I don’t know Greg when those last time
you showered do we have a shower like
the guy we were not gonna be stopped and
I kind of go at that intensity
what kind of anything I do like you’re
very calm good-looking young man look at
me I’m a spaz sitting next to you like
I’m doing an interview with you focus
I’m sweating ma’am it’s so
but I’d like it’s going to the airport
like ten miles out and so it’s but it’s
anger that has informed kind of my life
and unflatteringly a sense of vengeance
every damn person who said I wouldn’t be
anything I’m crushing them every day
everybody I had to endure in any band I
was in everyday into a powder yeah thank
you and I wish them no ill I just wish
to shine brighter and if it burns my
body to a crisp
I’m happy to go right now there are some
mountains that can be climbed to by
people like you and me we got to get a
little bit better condition but I mean
it’s not like the mountain climber
mountains that would be way beyond our
skill level but but but some of these
mountains that can be climbing you and
me that it takes a day to get to the top
and then that you just camp up there and
you come in and down the next day and on
many of these places where in
Switzerland where you could do that
about halfway up the mountain is what
they call the halfway house halfway
house halfway up the mountain so the
group of people starts off with a guide
in the morning and about noon you’re
kind of tired you’ve been walking now
for four or five hours and here comes
that you’re coming up to the halfway
house that is just a it’s a wonderful
sight because as soon as you enter in
the halfway house you can smell the food
and they’re they’re getting ready for a
good lunch and you sit down there’s a
fire in the fireplace and there’s nice
soft chairs and you can just rest your
body and refresh your body and and so
the people go into the halfway house and
they eat and laugh and enjoy and and
just really really just kind of take in
that that wonderful refreshing
atmosphere about an hour and a half
after being the halfway house the guide
gets up to this will gang it’s time to
put on your gear we we got a hike we got
to get on up to the top
this is a fact about half the people
decide not to go on up to the time
they’re sitting around the table in
there and just say you know what go on
up you’re gonna be come by here tomorrow
gonna be having lunch here again
tomorrow we’re just gonna hang here and
and so the people that want to get to
the top they put their stuff on and they
kind of leave and the rest of the people
sit behind they you know eat a little
bit more food get around the piano sing
some songs get around the fireplace
enjoy the fire warn themselves by the
fire no I’ve played games all afternoon
kind of enjoy themselves but about 4:30
chordal 5:00 in the afternoon without
anybody saying a word the people who
stayed in a halfway house they slowly go
over to where the window is the big
window and they start looking outside
and they start looking up at the top of
that mountain and as they look at the
top of that mountain
they see their friends their friends are
now getting the tents out and they’re
getting ready to prepare for the night
and it becomes very quiet very somber
because everybody in the halfway house
realizes the mistake they’ve made
they’ve they’ve they’ve they’ve sold
their mission for a little bit of
comfort for a few hours next morning
down come their friends and by noon they
come into the halfway house when they
come in the halfway they are laughing
they’re high-fiving they’re talking
about what they’ve seen where they’ve
been experiences the fact that it was
almost impossible to get up there in
fact they had to help each other get up
there and how they join teams and held
hands and and they just telling all
these stories and talk about the
pictures they’ve taken and they yeah
they got the group picture up there with
the flag at the top and the people who
remain behind
it’ll say much they just eat their lunch
and then follow the rest of them down to
the bottom of the hill where their
friends are waiting for them and those
who paid the price and went to the top
who understood now is the time to reach
the mission they hug can tell stories
and celebrate and the others they just
kind of slip off and get in the car and
go home
because they realize they’re never going
to be what they wanted to be they’re
never gonna see what they wanted to see
they’re never gonna do what they wanted
to do because they failed to realize
whether if the halfway house now is the
time to rest and they go on you have to
realize that whatever your day is
whatever you’re doing whatever your job
is whatever people think of you or
project you to be none of it matters
really until you look round and see
people who who were in need and I think
the probably the best finit benefit of
my job is to to help to make people
smile who otherwise wouldn’t or couldn’t
have a smile on their face so yeah
that’s my ideal somebody said to you
you’ll have or you’ll be as successful
as you are now what have you had said
back then I believe you that’s what I
would have said because I they believed
I believed any thought I had very few
people who told me that I had a small
small small group of people that would
tell me something like that order than
that it was just me telling myself yeah
so if someone came up to me and told me
that all the way back then I’d say
you’re damn right one of the things
that’s really interesting about the old
testament is that and the Jews in the
Old Testament is that they don’t take
the path of
kein every time they’re walloped by god
which is like fairly frequently they say
we must have done something wrong and we
have to set herself right and that’s a
an unbelievably heroic attitude because
that’s the alternative to cursing fate
it’s like you take the responsibility
for failure unto yourself and you think
well if I was just maybe if I just had
my act together a little bit more if I
took advantage of every opportunity that
was put in front of me if I wasn’t
resentful and bitter then I could have
done something that would have tilted
the situation in a different direction
and like that’s almost inevitably true
Dostoevsky I think said something like
every man is responsible for everything
that happens to him and everything that
happens to everyone else and that’s you
know that that’s that’s a guy it’s a
crazy statement right it’s a crazy
statement and he was a pretty extreme
person in many many ways but there’s a
level at which that’s metaphysically
true you know because what happens is
that it’s you its failure to act often
that’s the most catastrophic you know I
mean I’ve it’s it’s it’s to not do the
right thing when the when the situation
presents itself and it’s very specific
you know you’re constantly in situations
where you could do the right thing if
you were willing to take a risk that’s
actually a relatively moderate size and
you know that you could take the risk
and you know that you should take the
risk and you don’t and that happens to
people all the time and then what
happens is the thing that they didn’t
oppose grows a little bit and they
shrink a little bit and that starts a
loop hey enough enough like living by
somebody else’s rules is a humongous
mistake I just literally sat down with
five people under the age of twenty
seven and it’s so refreshing it is so
refreshing if you have not jumped on the
bandwagon of doing exactly what the you
want to do which is skiing for the next
three years or working at a job that’s
not what your parents want or what
society wants this video is just called
enough enough make this little in one
two minute video depends on when I
the piece of content that gets you to
stand up and take life by its throat do
something stopping scared stop letting
the way you were raised the fear as an
offense take that away let me be the
person I’ll take the blame I loved that
some of my plays are like my parents
don’t love what you’re saying good
parents because if you are playing
defense and if you are living a life
where your kids lives are the way you’re
being fulfilled you’re a loser
parents and so enough enough parents
imposing their way you want your kids to
be happy on your terms enough the kid
that’s sitting right now at a desk and
saw this in a feed and you hate your job
enough stand up get the out of here and
do you live your life you’ve got one
life do something about it
would it come through on your word it
allows the guys that you’re leading male
or female to be able to say okay we can
follow this person because he won’t let
us down
you know for me as the leader of our
franchise and the leader of my household
and a leader of so many you know
different different things I think it’s
the confidence but it’s also you
practicing what you preach I’m not a guy
who just talks about I actually go out
and do it as well from a basketball
perspective or from from a leadership
perspective or my kids in my foundation
you know we have a promise initiative
where they promised me that they will go
to school there was a city teachers
they’d be great to their classmates and
I promised them that I will continue to
be a great role model a father figure
for them and and not let those guys down
so I take that responsibility and I
don’t just talk about I actually do it
as well so were you able to come through
on your word it allows the guys that
you’re leading male or female to be able
to say okay we can follow this person
because he won’t let us down no matter
if it’s no matter if it’s going good or
bad you know every day is not a bed of
roses we understand that and you have to
be able to hand adversity as well there
is an advantage to being what I like to
call now hardcore hardcore I don’t know
quite how to describe it it’s a
combination of tenacious and dedicated
and
passionate and committed something like
that hardcore I learned about being
hardcore from math concentrators at
Harvard I’m not gonna ask whether we
have any math concentrators here but I
would say that’s where I got kind of my
lesson
I mean people could just go crazy
focused not it wasn’t just the people
were genius but working and working and
working and working
you know I’d sit in my room working on a
problem set after three hours I’m a
little ad D I just couldn’t take it the
most hardcore people could just power
through anything and the advantage of
being that tenacious and dedicated and
committed I claim it helped us at
Microsoft it’s fundamental at Microsoft
but I learned it here at heart how much
of your your training is dedicated to
visualization fighting it there is a big
science behind it I believe I’m I’m I’m
champion not because I’m the strongest
guy that’s because also on the more
skill guy I’m very skilled I’m very
strong I’m very athletic I’m fast but I
think the reason why I’m champion is my
mind but the way I’m very good to using
my skills to neutralize my opponent
skill and make the fight turning to
putting the odds on my side I think there’s a key
think that you’re gonna go and
accomplish something really special and
be the best in anything in the world if
you think you can do it without working
you make a big mistake because no matter
what I did if it was a bodybuilding or
an acting or if it is in the political
arena it always took a lot a lot of work
and you gotta put out and you got the
you know something to make a lot of
sacrifices notice if you’re not willing
to work hard forget about it so there’s
another rule that is a very important
I’ll never forget a recent experience
doing my business on Wall Street getting
on the train to come back to midtown one
o’clock in the afternoon normally
there’s a low this train should be empty
but on this day the train was full full
of people all in business suits a guy
recognizes me comes over says hey are
you Chris Gardner we started talking
about turns out I’m in the car
with the first wave of the 55,000 people
who had just been laid off by Citibank
and I noticed something everyone’s
holding a box you’ve seen the boxes
you’ve seen them on television they’ve
got the house plant that coffee mug the
pictures of their kids and they’re all
going home they’re all going home to
tell their wife their husband their
children and the landlord they don’t
have a job
I began to share with this young guy
that do you know what yeah you lost your
job but you haven’t lost your skills
your talent or your expertise but we’ve
got to do now is create opportunities
where the skilled talent and expertise
can be transferable creating an
opportunity and looking for a job are
two different things
this could be prime time for pushing
your button rather finding your button
what do I mean by that prime time to
find that one thing that you love to do
so much you would get up in the morning
and do it free prime time to find that
one thing that the Sun cannot comes up
soon enough in the morning because you
want to go do your thing
this could be that time in your life
every single person when they’re in
their teens in the early 20th they they
care so much about other people and how
they’re perceived and what impression
they make and I wanted to be perfect I
wanted to be good at everything and big
a student and be prettier and skinnier
and successful and all these things and
I cared about what people said about me
how they felt about me and as I get
older I just realize that that is that
month other people won’t make me happy
it has to be from within me and I need
to keep doing whatever makes me happy
and whoever responds to that great
whoever doesn’t respond to that it’s
fine – hmm
but the less I care about other people’s
opinions the better I feel about myself
and the more I do things that make me
happy I don’t make notes
I don’t react very instinctively to
everything I’m a great believer in
traveling a great deal
I don’t believe meetings
more than two people in the meeting as
too many it’s true do you know about
stand-ups okay so in Silicon Valley now
when you have a meeting everybody stands
on a circle like they’re meditating
that’s that’s maybe I should try that I
think the more you go out the more you
see the more you experience life the
more you bring back to your day job so
as I was trying to say in my remarks I
think the problem about big corporations
is you get a lot of people my age trying
to hold on to their jobs and you know
clinging on to their pensions and their
retirement and they’re not experiencing
new things and they don’t like change
and they don’t like disruption so
they’re either they don’t make a
decision or they say no and as a result
they stagnate so it’s terribly important
to bring people in from the outside and
not to remain too insular and also to
hire as many young bright people like
all of you as you can just to teach you
how to think about things completely
differently you’re gonna play big say
big you’re gonna play huge st. huge
you’re gonna play ginormous a ginormous
but first take baby steps you’re gonna
eat the elephant but take one small bite
first chew it good right we want so much
so fast my grandmother says baby she
starts every sentence with baby I’m sure
it’s because she cannot remember all of
our names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you fast
forward you’re building on Plexiglas
you’re bidding on styrofoam you bet on
wood you want to build it on semen
your dream is important enough to
outlive you yes yes
and so I realize that that you can’t
Google down lower resiliency
you can’t Google download tenacity you
can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience I want patience I’m
waiting for it somebody’s gonna piss you
off tomorrow then now you get to test of
your patience I realized I realized that
as I wanted to develop me I have to be
willing to climb and I wanted to get to
the top and there’s no elevator to the
top I got to do my squats I gotta work
on my quads and my hamstrings and my
calves cuz I gotta climb to the top
we gotta climb you want to be great like
you want to be good and you sort of set
these funny expectations for yourself
you know one of the funniest things that
the fogarty ever said to me he was like
yeah I was I tried to learn I was
learning to play the drums but I
realized that I would never be as good
as John Bonham from Led Zeppelin so I
stopped my you’re who is as good as John
but nobody like what though how could
you do that so like there should be no
right or wrong you know you should just
be cool with what you do and how you
sound like I’m it’s it’s one of the
things that I have a problem with like a
lot of those song contest shows on TV
not up not only because you know
whatever its corporate cheese or
whatever but I have a problem with like
if my kid walked up on stage and sang
her heart out as best as she could and
Jennifer Lopez said like nah sorry
that’s not good enough I’d be like
[Applause]
I’d be so pissed you know cuz that’s not
how it works
you know you should be you should go you
should go to a yard sale and buy a steel
guitar and then go find a friend and get
into your garage and just suck there’d
be awful and then write some songs and
that’s how it’s that’s how it works I
mean it works other ways too I’m sure
but I mean as a as a young musician you
know first of all you’re not gonna make
a living doing it like except that I
realize that because then if you do
you’re stopped the reward of playing
music playing music should be the reward
of playing music like that’s that’s what
you that’s what you kind of get like
when I was a little kid when I was
playing punk rock music as a teenager
like there was never any career
opportunity because we’ve played punk
rock music nobody wanted to buy that but
we’d love to do it it was so it was so
much fun and like if you start from a
place like that that you just love to
create and you just love to play music
and you can’t stop thinking about it and
you do it every day and you do it by
yourself or you do it with your friends
and that’s enough for you to survive the
rest of your life that’s great and then
once you start getting good you start
playing for people and once you start
playing for people if you’re good then
those people will tell other people that
girls really good so then all of a
sudden you’re playing to all these
different people and that to me is the
most important thing when you doing it’s
you on stage and people are seeing when
people see another person doing that
it’s really inspiring like it’s cool to
see a human being
jamming Yvette’s great a lot of
so-called unhappiness is also a childish
way of trying to change things by being
as unhappy as you can about them and the
underlying unconscious or semi-conscious
assumption is if I’m really unhappy
somebody perhaps God is going to do
something about it or I’m going to prove
him wrong I’m going to show him how
dreadful it is and then finally this is
an unconscious assumption behind the
unhappiness because you believe if
you’re habitually and frequently unhappy
you believe that it has a purpose
it’s an underlying assumption perhaps
you wouldn’t verbalize it in that way
but you believe that it it’s it works
for you because it doesn’t but things
are going to change it but just need to
be really unhappy so that God finally
evens you don’t believe in God this can
still be the mechanism the underlying
unconscious assumption behind it it’s
something is going to happen and of
course the opposite is true because the
more happier with something the more
you’re stuck in the situation but as
always
so we had that sort of token of
appreciation of home-cooked food then I
was very lucky to get on foundation
course spending the last year in my
school at a foundation course studying
maths English tune out days a week and
then learning to cook 14-hour days a
week and it was a sort of new experiment
now we had trouble with buy my first set
of whites and chef knives and we
depended on the bamboo round table to
come up with something like 85 90 pound
the mum dad didn’t have to get my first
set of whites so remember that day I got
given my first set of whites mine eyes
and said on that mission football was a
sort of huge burning ambition and I was
trying to decide yeah I had a horrific
injury then all of a sudden you know
what you do so then get visit but I had
this little burning desire with this
sort of a chef it’s just this ambition
and then I sort of channeled that
frustration from football into cooking
in a way that I just I just wanted to
learn the foundation course was huge
that our city guild 7:06 I was a mature
part-time student and mum doesn’t have
the money to send me to college full
time so it was it was hard but what I
did do is take a job in the industry I
work six days a week and went to college
one day week so then everything started
becoming clearer got more qualifications
the basic and then went to London and
that’s where it really just you know
took off why do you prioritize sleep so
highly just curious of what makes you so
committed to that and the science behind
it thank you for all you do I find that
I’m slower when I’m fatigued so I find
myself drifting I have more symptoms of
what we’ll call a tea a DD so that my
attention just drift drift drifts and
then I find I’ll read a sentence or
whatever and be like kind of to reread
the sentence like 10 times so that was
just going whoa I’m not as efficient as
I could be and then the other is I find
it a unique form of misery there is an
additional ring of hell that is saved
just for people who are fatigued I hate
it so much
so it’s misery and I don’t understand
people that live a life
that is miserable I just don’t get it
and then on top of that I think you
actually accomplish less if you’re
fatigued so you’re putting more hours
we’re actually getting less done per
hour
so if being fatigued puts you at like
0.6 of what your output could be and
then being just like incredibly well
rested prioritizing that puts you at you
know it’s I guess mathematically I
should be saying just one then like you
have to make up 40% of the number of
hours and waking up early just to break
even and then you put misery on top of
that so that that’s my end of one
experience is that I am so deadly
efficient when I’m rested that I just
get more done so comparing those suicide
by side I get I actually accomplish more
yeah I believe in manifestation I
believe in you know putting a rocket of
desire out into the universe and and you
get it when you believe it you get it
when you believe you have it and that’s
the key is like people still they sit
around going when’s it gonna come when’s
it gonna come when they’re gonna come
when’s it gonna come and that’s the
wrong way you’re you’re facing the wrong
way you’re facing away from it you have
to go it’s here it’s here it’s here
well there’s a world-champion box low on
basketball playoff
track star harshly manimals i found out
that this Mark Spitz for an example he’s
a world champion but what made him the
world champion was that he seemed to at
the right time when the pressures down
at the last few yards he can get that
lead he’s got enough left a million I
found Ken Norton my last fight if I was
even up in the last round but I had
something that he didn’t have all our
much older and that was the last minute
kick what’s that last minute kick is
that some test the stamina the strength
but was more than training the mental
capacity mental to realize
what’s involved and how important it is
make it by to do something was really
hard to do your mind makes you do it
marks bitch this Olympic track star was
mentioning he wasn’t that much greater
than all the people in the world was
sometimes he won by just that much and
this little champion is just one who can
come out at the last minute and the
closes show us and say the star closes
show a 1415 round fight and this even
and that usually this champion you can
depend on him to come to the last few
seconds and find some interpreters it’s
a discipline not only that it’s mental
and physical game where his body is in
physical shape to do it plus mentally to
he’s got a self in condition where both
fellas maybe sometimes the wheel can
outdo the skill and sometimes a fellow’s
wheel is stronger than the man who is
actually better physically and the
determination and weakens the other man
just to see him so determined every
single human being has value and my
value is not determined on how I look or
what job I have or where I’m from where
I was born how much money all that stuff
is nothing so many teenagers you know
tease each other for how we look and I
tell the teenagers do you think that I’m
cool enough to be a friend they’re like
yeah of course I said but I have no arms
no legs they said doesn’t matter said
really so it doesn’t matter that I have
no arms no legs I said no it doesn’t
matter I said then actually if it
doesn’t matter then why do we kill each
other with our words if it actually
doesn’t matter why do we look ourselves
in the mirror and see ugly instead of
valuable when I asked you today what are
you looking for if I gave you a billion
dollars would you be happy
if you gave me a billion dollars I’d be
very happy but then if my mom dies
tonight am I happy No
with all the money in the world I’ll
never be happy Mika’s money is something
that cannot heal the soul the cookie jar
is something I invented as you all know
your mom has a cookie jar and sometimes
you might have an Oreo sometimes you
might have a Chips Ahoy way sometimes
you might have a oatmeal raisin cookie
you never know
just in there my cookie jar has every
single failure and success of my life
sup my overcame so what happens in this
in time of life when you’re stressed out
and things get bad even the hardest guy
in the world me
everybody thinks and I think I’m the
hardest guy in the world you got to
believe that you got believe you are
something I will in my mind reach into
my cookie jar and sometimes you forget
how hard you are in times of need
because you’re you’re stressed but you
forget I’m a Navy SEAL I’m a ranger I’m
guessing that but you forget all that
cos your life sucks I calm down take
that one second get control of my life
reaching the cookie jar well you got
caught nigger your whole life and you’re
now the only person history do justice
and this put it back in the cookie jar
reset my mind you have to remind
yourself of how badass you really are in
times of need that’s the cookie jar
I was a very headstrong young person and
by nineteen eighty three or four had
started my own publishing company to
publish my own books realizing that no
one else will publish me and I was right
about that and so my first book I saved
my food money from Black Flag a little
here little there and I saved enough to
make a fold and staple book I couldn’t
type so I hand write out the things and
I made a dummy that I could offset print
fold and staple and I sold them for $2
mainly gave them away but I sold enough
and they blew out 500 just went and then
I took that money to make another print
run of that and from that money I made
my first paperback
and thirty-three years later that’s a
fully staffed company with books in
translation and hardcover editions and
the whole you know the whole nine yards
but it started with I’m gonna do my
thing I’ll be city lights jr. without
the talent and that’s I did that at the
same time I was doing my first spoken
word gigs and why did I have the
gumption and the audacity to start my
own book company because I come from
punk rock I come from watching Ian
MacKaye invent Dischord records on his
mom’s kitchen table I come from folding
and gluing picture sleeves together
black flag had their own label of course
you do it yourself you want to make a
book sit down and write it then go to
the printing place where’s a printer get
in the phone book and find a printer we
make records make some books it was you
just do it it’s like you don’t even
think about you just do it and I’m sure
that writing is this awful but I did it
and without even hesitation I’m making
my own book companies stop me I dare you
I’ve never thought about it twice just
because DIY man like let your voice be
heard well you know what people do look
at me and see me as creative because
I’ve written so many books and I am
curious but when I started off in
college in in my in my freshman psych
class they gave us a test that he
preached dude to take on creativity and
there were 17 in that class I can
remember it well and I was at the bottom
of the class on creativity I mean I was
like number 17 out of 17 and and and
what the teacher posted the scores and
so I mean I saw how bad I was
and and then I really felt bad not only
because I wasn’t creative but I was
going to go past her I was going to go
into ministry I was going to teach I was
going to do sermons and then I got to
take it myself I’m going to be another
boring preacher and you know I thought
just grip I thought oh this is gonna be
awful I’m gonna bore people all my life
you know what I mean and I’m gonna
ask him to pay while they hear me I mean
this is an awful deal so it and so two
things I did and I talked about it the
book one as I started filing I started
taking thoughts and quotes and the
reason I started doing that is I thought
if I’m not gonna be good at what I say I
need to quote somebody that is good and
so I started filing things that other
people would say so I’d go around and
I’d say well Kim said you know what I
mean and Jo said and Susie said and so
that at least I would be a little bit
more interesting that’s how it started
but the big breakthrough the big
breakthrough ahead was and this will
help everyone if how many of you would
like to be more creative let me let me
see your hands okay
how many of you’d like to just
absolutely have an imagination that just
took you to a new level you know I’m
sorry okay how many you already have
that because you’re on drugs
okay okay okay well here’s here’s that
here’s the key this will work for you I
promise it work for you because it
worked for me I made a major change in
my early 30s from just having answers
and being a leader that just had to cast
vision and show everybody what I was
doing and where we were going and I
started asking intentional questions and
I became a person I ask questions all
the time every day I ask questions and I
have found just asking questions we’ll
take you on exciting journeys more than
thing else you’re right you excel in
that kid I’ve watched you over the years
you did excel really in that but for my
early years I didn’t ask enough
questions and so therefore I didn’t get
enough ideas and thoughts from others so
when people say I want to be more
creative what step one step no one has
asked more questions just go to people
and start asking questions it’s amazing
what you’ll learn so that means taking
things using things in your life or
scars using those moments as a weapon
using those as using basketball is kind
of like a vehicle through which to
express yourself right so it doesn’t so
at that moment for us to face the
Celtics again it’s not about the Celtics
it’s not about your opponent
it’s about you it’s about you taking it
and it struggles and channeling that
through the game right as it as a as a
way to to unleash right so now I became
a matter of how do i express that to
them how do I get them to that point
where they figure this out for
themselves is I can’t say hey listen I
need you to play harder
so education well I had to share my
story I had to open up to them and let
them know I’ve dealt with things this is
the things that I use this is how I go
about focus this is how I deal with that
versity this is how I deal with you know
arguing with my wife the day of the game
is showing up to the game and still
having that focus to be able to play
like I used those things to open up with
them and then in turn they were able to
to take those stories make them their
own that whatever you do somebody can do
it better you have to bring your A game
in every single day there’s nothing
unique about any one individual what’s
unique is their passion their ability to
execute to meet targets and exceed them
the minute you lose that ability in
capitalism you’re gone it’s a fair trade
the engine that makes you rich can take
it all away from you there are no
guarantees I think that’s incredibly
important it looks like
you always go out of your comfort zone
right coming onto an island that was
completely deserted no fresh water you
don’t even have the money to buy it and
and now you’re sleeping on a tent on the
beach trying to figure out how to get
fresh water here you do that often you
did it with the airline I mean I was
just somebody that experienced the bad
experience of traveling on airlines I
was actually trying to get to the BVI
the British Virgin Islands one day from
Puerto Rico and the same lovely lady was
waiting for me and I’ve been away for
three weeks and American Airlines bumped
the flight and and I went to the back of
the airport I had a plane I had a black
board I wrote
Virgin Airlines one way $29 to the VV I
went around all the people have been
bumped and I filled my first plane and
and that got me thinking you know their
lines do bump people they don’t care
about you or me particularly in the air
and so we sigh then rang up Boeing and
said you have any secondhand seven four
seven okay I mean it was literally that
you just sat in the airport and said I’m
starting an airline right now we cannot
frustrate it exactly and I think most
most of the best entrepreneurial ideas
come out of frustration I think you know
if you if you’re frustrated about
something and the best way of sorting it
out is get out and do it and you’ve got
yourself a business we know from our
past experiences that big things start
small you know the biggest oak starts
from an acorn and you’ve got to
recognize anything new you’ve got to be
willing to let that acorn grow into a
little sapling and then finally into a
small tree and maybe one day it’ll be a
big business on its own and in fact
that’s one of the mottos for one of your
initiatives and forgive my pronunciation
of the Latin but Greta team ferocity
what does that mean to you well it means
step by step ferociously and it’s the
motto for Blue Origin and basically you
can’t skip steps you have to put one
foot in front of the other things take
time you there are no shortcuts and but
but you want to do those steps with you
know passion and ferocity yeah I started
working at this video store it was
pretty much what you’re talking about
around that time and and it was great at
first because I’d always hated day jobs
and stuff and so I got a day job and it
ended up being pretty good but
admittedly I was there for five years at
a certain point it was our narcotic all
right I didn’t have to keep pursuing my
dreams because you know it’s not what I
want to do but it’s sort of kind of
close and if I didn’t have an artist
soul burning in me I could have made
myself happy
with that I could if I if I didn’t have
an artist soul burning to get out I
could have you know walked backwards a
couple steps and just done that and
would have been a fulfilling little to
anybody else it would have been a
fulfilling life it wouldn’t been for me
because I wouldn’t know and I would have
had something to say that I didn’t get a
chance to say but it did put me to sleep
for a while and and I’ve always just
thought I mean what really got it got
everything kind of truly going for me
you could point out a lot of different
things but the bottom line is the fact
that I realized that the even the group
of people I hung around with they were
all great great great fellows and great
gals but you know I was easy for me to
think that I was doing a lot because I
was doing more to try to move myself
forward than they were but you know
that’s not yeah yeah okay I’m a big fish
in a puddle so what all right they’re
not doing anything so yeah I’m doing
more than them but I realized that
actually I need to get my ass out to
Hollywood and meet other people who are
you know like they were in my category
or or working a little higher and and I
should be the weakest link in my chain
that I have and that’ll make me be
strong to real make me run faster I mean
like an analogy I’ve always used is
alright if you run the hundred yard dash
with people that can’t run as fast as
you yeah you’ll win hands-down you know
that but if you run with people much
faster than you all right yeah you might
come in last every single time but your
time will be better because they’re
making you run all the faster they’re
making let me can you dig down just a
little bit more it doesn’t matter that
you and your time is faster and that’s
what I knew I had to do I had to get out
of Loserville and throw myself into a
place where like this is what do for a
living one night Chris have gone to bed
I had been struggling struggling
struggling we still had all the same
problems
I we start a lien on the house still
facing bankruptcy still fighting like
crazy I was still unemployed
he still they still haven’t figured out
like the solution yet for the business
and I was about to turn off the TV and
there on the TV there was this rocket
launching and I thought oh my gosh it I
am gonna launch myself out of bed like a
rocket ship like NASA right here had
launched me out of that bed and I’m
gonna move so fast that I don’t think
I’m gonna beat my dream now here’s a
really interesting point I talk a lot
about your instincts and inner wisdom
and we can get into this a little bit
later but a lot of us talk about the
fact that you have a gut feeling but
what all this research that I’ve done
for the book and and all the speaking
that I do what I’ve discovered that’s
fascinating is actually when you set
goals when you have an intention on
something that you want to change about
your life your brain helps you what it
does is it opens up a checklist and then
your brain goes to work trying to remind
you yeah of that intention that you set
and it’s really important to develop the
skill and I say that word purposefully
the skill of knowing how to hear that
inner wisdom and that intention kicking
in and leaning into it quickly so for me
my brain saying that’s it right there
move as fast as a rocket Mel I wanted to
change my life and I think most people
that are miserable or that are that are
really like dying to be great and dying
to have more we want to change we want
to live a better life we want to create
more for our families we want to be
happier the the desire is there again
it’s about how do you go from knowledge
to actions so the first thing in the
story that’s important is realizing that
the answer was in me and my mind was
telling me pay attention
could have also been the Bourbon anyway
the next morning the alarm goes off and
I pretended NASA was there
it’s a stupidest story I literally went
five four three two one I counted out
loud and then I stood up and I never
forget standing there in my bedroom it
was dark it was cold it was winter in
Boston and for the first time in three
months I had beaten my habit of hitting
the snooze button I couldn’t believe it
and I thought wait a minute
counting backward citizen dumbest thing
I’ve ever heard in my entire life well
the next morning I used it again and it
worked the next morning I used it again
and it worked the next morning I used it
again and it worked and then I started
to notice something really interesting
there were moments all day long all day
long just like that five-second moment
in bed where I knew knowledge what I
should do and if I didn’t move within
five seconds my brain would step in and
talk me out of it every human being has
a five-second window might even be
shorter for you you have about a
five-second window in which you can move
from idea to action before your brain
kicks into full gear and sabotages any
change in behavior because remember your
brain is wired to stop you from doing
things that are uncomfortable or
uncertain or scary it’s your job to
learn how to move from those ideas that
could change everything into acting on
them I’ve been making music now with you
know like Tony Bennett for a couple
years and I’m you know Elton John is you
know one of my closest friends and his
husband David and they just have showed
me that like I’m a baby and my artistry
you know and I just have to keep making
music and keep going and so my focus
really for this album is showing that to
two young girls and to enter boys that
want to make music that you don’t have
to
get lucky on the internet it’s not a
social media game you don’t have to find
a you know the the the hot producer and
get the hot track you know to be a star
you can just learn how to play an
instrument and sit in your room and
practice and write songs and poetry and
then you can go around the corner to the
bar and meet other artists that do the
same thing that you do and you can hang
out and talk about music and write songs
and then you can play at the spot around
the corner and gain one fan and then do
it over and over and over again until
you’re discovered you need to know what
your unique strengths are and be willing
to delegate so I would say that the
question of whether you should take a
skill learn it yourself delegated
someone else or hire a new team member
are determined by having a very accurate
self assessment and assessment of your
team’s skills not only what you can do
but what you should be doing that’s very
important so if you’re a start-up CEO or
founder and you have a team of say two
to ten people as soon as you have funds
to hire you should not be focused on the
things that you are bad at sounds very
very intuitive but it’s not because you
might have enough time to do those
things but the question is do you have
the attention to dedicate to those
things so they’re not an interruption
especially if you’re a venture-backed
startup and you’re competing against
other companies that also have a lot of
funding the game the game and the race
goes to the Swift so you have to have
you have to have a lot of velocity ESPN
called me they did a story on me this
past summer but they called me one day
and I picked up the phone they said is
this inky johnson so last time I checked
inky johnson they said is this the same
guy that said if you could change what
happened to you you wouldn’t I said
absolutely
they said it’s our understanding the
game of football meant the world I said
at one point it did they said it’s our
understanding that your family was
banking on you making it to the NFL
they can have a better way of life I
said yeah that’s that’s correct and said
we’re coming to see you I said all right
cool come on instead but we don’t want
to see you in Atlanta we want to see
your Nealon Stadium on the exact yard
line where your life change the same
time of day the only thing that won’t be
President it’s Air Force’s team all
right cool and so they take me to Nealon
Stadium they put me on the exact yard
line with my life changed they said now
tell your younger self why you wouldn’t
stop your injury if you could if you
could be in the NFL right now making
millions of dollars tell you young
yourself why you wouldn’t change that
situation if you could and I say the
reason I wouldn’t change it believe it
or not has nothing to do with me back on
a personal level you he thought I was
gonna say because of the man that I’ve
become the perspective that I’ve
acquired my feet that been fortified he
thought I was gonna say something like
that I said no it has nothing to do it
has everything to do with the lives that
have been affected by the result of the
process and the thing that I represent
in the world what my spirit represents
once you might have seen me they think
perseverance well my spirit represents
where somebody see me they think don’t
quit what my spirit represents when
somebody see me they think that’s a
quality individual right there what my
character represents in the world and
every single day we’re putting something
out like that represent something when
people see that they thinks it’s a
thought that comes to the month when he
said go standing he gave me that I felt
a certain type of wedding but he gave me
to go stare I got the certain type I
felt
go stand it with me because I think in
what I do the line of business I’m in
I’m gonna go standard because I don’t
compromise and every single day I’m
gonna give you my very best you can bet
your bottom dollar every single day i’ma
bring that gold standard the life and
I’m not just bringing it in one aspect
of life I’m bringing in it every single
aspect of life I’m not gonna be one of
these people in the world that’s a
public success but they’re private oh
you mean they give everything they got
to one aspect of life but the other
areas they lack are no I’m gonna give
every single thing I got to every aspect
of my life
because I represent something when
people see me they think something
whether that’s character never giving up
never surrender and the thing that we
can never do is forget what we represent
because that’s how guys end up under
bridge on a cardboard box sleep they
forget what they represent when life
hits him where that person my only
charge for you never forget what you
represent there were the things that I
probably should have done not from my
perspective I mean from my point of view
I did the right things every every film
that I’ve done I mean I’m happy that I
made that choice I don’t have any
regrets whatsoever but I mean in terms
of sustaining box office you know
bankability I should have done a few of
the things that I didn’t do but I’m glad
I didn’t do them
because it wouldn’t have been you yeah
well I would it would have been for the
wrong reasons I did everything that I’ve
been lucky enough to do I did for the
right reasons you have to treat yourself
like you matter because if you don’t
then you don’t take care of yourself and
you become vengeful and and cruel and
youyou take you take it out on people
around you and you’re not a positive
force none of that’s good so you suffer
more and so does everyone around you and
there’s a malevolence that enters into
it none of that’s good so that’s what
happens if you don’t treat yourself like
you matter and then what happens if you
don’t treat other people like they
matter
well you lie to them you cheat them you
steal you you enter into impulsive
relationships with them they can’t trust
you that doesn’t go anywhere they don’t
like you you you end up alone at best
and maybe like in incarcerated at worst
like that doesn’t work and so you watch
the people around you who thrive
regardless of what they say they act out
the proposition that everyone matters
and then you have a functional Society
and I think ok well if if if when you
act out the proposition that everyone
matters you have a functional society
maybe that’s evidence that that
proposition is true it’s like I think
it’s I think it’s true you’ve lived a
life dominated by doubt and fear how do
that’s how you step in the bravery step
take the step step aggressively towards
your fear and that that step towards
your fear is the step into bravery
because we’re / scared of what we don’t
know and there’s only one way to learn
and to know and that is to confront that
fear you have to step you have to go and
this simple action this simple attitude
it answers so many questions
so many questions how do you get to the
gym every day you step you go how do you
how do you change your diet you step you
go how do you overcome fear of failure
fear of success or or fear of fear
itself you step and how do you face the
fear of the unknown you step don’t wait
anymore don’t think anymore don’t plan
anymore don’t contemplate anymore don’t
make any more excuses or justifications
don’t rationalize anything else no no
and no instead be aggressive take action
now and what is the first action that
you need to take what’s the first step
you need to take the first step you need
to take is just that step whether it’s
personal or people around me when you
see people that are positive that
looking something good and something bad
that took place they move along in life
faster they’re veteran and people want
to be around these people I mean too
often people gossip the one gossip
person must be around the other person
that gossips but they don’t realize when
you gossip you’re saying something heard
about somebody else you’re telling
everybody what if part of it was wrong
you had to go out and tell every person
you told this oh I’m sorry it was wrong
tell everybody you told it’s not gonna
happen so it’s things you learn about
don’t gossip don’t belittle people if
you don’t have to god please don’t try
and look at the positive angle what good
could come out of something and that
positiveness is gonna make you live
longer happier and wake up in the
morning happy not oh my god I gotta go
to work I can’t wait till I get home I
want to retire
because people are not positive they
were not happy and what happens they
retire they hate their job they retire
three or four years later their debts
they have nothing to do that positive
attitude be around positive people
encourage positiveness if you find
yourself walking around just complaining
all the time around people that complain
a lot
man move or just try and do something
different change your life being
positive and a positive attitude is find
something positive and something bad
makes you look for solutions when I was
down and out okay whoo Oh pop bottles
let’s get the pop bottles cash them in
everyone in this room knows how to
create you’re not a manager of your life
you’re a creator of your life or you
wouldn’t be in this room how do you
create your life you get hungry for
something don’t you who has done
something your life that once seemed
difficult or impossible and now it’s
part of your life who’s got something in
your life in this area say aye
how did you do it you created it three
ways number one you decided there’s
something you wanted so bad that you
unleashed all your desire you became
obsessed with it it was a business or a
car or a relationship or a
transformation of your body if there’s
something you want sin vision and now
it’s real it’s because you didn’t just
envision it you brought so much emotion
to it but now it’s in your life it was
once a dream it was once a goal and now
it’s in your life how many have
something like that in your life now say
I you may take it for granted now
hopefully not but it was once just a
vision may have seemed impossible at one
time so how did you do it
you started with a concrete vision of
what you wanted and you focused on it
continuously didn’t you
you envision something you got clear
about it and then you start thinking
about all the reasons why you wanted it
you got excited about it so this is
what’s next for me now I want this you
may have dreamed about a thought about
and talked about it
but when you focus on something
continuously something magical happens
you get insights don’t you you overhear
a conversation here something you
wouldn’t have heard if you didn’t have
that outcome or goal that you wanted so
badly who’s ever come up with something
obsessed about it didn’t even know how
to do it and it just happened and it
came together who’s that that experience
say I so why don’t we happened that
power now for your business in life some
of the most important discoveries and
inventions and innovations within a
field come from people who are trained
in a much different field and who have
an outsider’s approach Louis Pasteur was
a classic example of this he was trained
as a chemist in mineralogist so he
brought amidst a much different way of
thinking to the subject of medicine and
germs a method that was infinitely more
creative
Albert Einstein was a complete outsider
his two most important discoveries came
when he was working at the Swiss Patent
Office Google itself exemplifies this
idea it is perhaps the most successful
business on the planet founded by two
men who are relatively complete
outsiders to business and who therefore
structured and directed their company in
a very novel and creative fashion I
could go on and on and on with this list
including many great artists there are
two important reasons why Outsiders
generally have a creative advantage
first they are less steeped in and
burdened by the conventions of the field
that they are attacking they ask a
different set of questions they approach
problems from unconventional angles and
second they are often trained in totally
unrelated fields and so can make
interesting and creative connections
between two very different forms of
thinking like science and business or
chemistry and medicine or engineering
and design now we can’t all consciously
follow such a path but even within the
careers that were pursuing we can train
ourselves to think like outsiders and
help loosen up the mind in the process I
came home one night from work spraying
for cockroaches and long story short I
turned on the Discovery Channel I saw
some guys going to Navy SEAL training
and they were going through hell week
and they were getting their ass just
beat you know in out of the water
guys ringing the bell there was
suffering and I was waiting like 297
pounds and I had to make a change in my
life you know I was at all-time low and
I wasn’t going anywhere and I was
exactly what everybody said I was gonna
be which was nothing so I had to make a
change what was it about seeing
suffering that’s that’s really
interesting and I actually get it but I
want to hear you explain it why
suffering was the thing that triggered
that thought well for me growing up I
came from a horrible
I got called nigger every day of my life
growing up lived in a small town the
Klan headquarters at that time was about
20 minutes from where I lived the one of
the high ups in the KKK son sat behind
me in two classes so you called me nigga
a long time I got my first car they
spray print nigga we’re going to kill
you on it so I was just an insecure
scared kid and the only way I could find
myself was to put myself through the
worst thing possible I’m gonna say the
exact opposite of what the world today’s
world is saying so we read a bunch of
books nowadays as humans we we want to
find out how to be someone else what we
don’t do is we don’t go inside so
literally turn yourself inside out read
the book that says like we’re right in
the book every day of our lives every
day we’re seeing who we are as people
when I was growing up I I lied for
people to accept me because I did accept
myself so I would make up stories so
then you would accept me into your world
I would uh everything I did was for
someone else to like me
it was until I started reading my own
book about how pathetic I was as human
being I could blame my dad I can blame
kids at school I could blame having
health issues ATD my mom not being
around great mom but she was doing her
thing I could blame a lot of people and
that’s the book I was reading and I put
it off on everybody else it wouldn’t so
I say you know what for me to fix this I
get a read what the hell what the fuck
is wrong with David Garvey’s not blame
anybody read my books okay I’m afraid of
my shadow how can I overcome that go in
and military get your ass kicked
do things you hate to do be
uncomfortable every day of your life
Roger that
I’m not the smartest kid in the world
okay it says somebody saying oh no
you’re smart no no I don’t say that to
yourself I said to myself no I’m a dumb
okay Roger that how do you get smarter
educate yourself so the things that we
run from we run it from the truth we’re
running from the truth man so the only
way I became successful was going
towards the truth as painful and as
brutal as it is it changed me it allowed
me to become in my own right who every
day many people spend their lives in a
state of almost permanent
dissatisfaction right unfortunately so
there may be looking for some purpose or
they may have given up hope that there
is some purpose for them and they’re
just surviving or making a living or
caught up in the doing hold up in the
doing in the stress of it right and so
usually when we talk about purpose when
people talk about purpose they think of
purpose in terms of future where am I
going what am I supposed to do what’s
the direction I’m going what is my goal
the goal that I want to achieve and that
of course is that it has its place but I
call that the outer purpose more
fundamental than the outer purpose is
what most people usually overlooked and
that is the realization that what
matters most is finding your inner
purpose so inner purpose is aligning
your life fully with the present moment
so that you’re no longer out of
alignment with the present moment which
leads to the state of dissatisfaction
that we talked about that is the reality
for many people so you have to go first
of all beyond the state of
dissatisfaction that is so many people’s
reality right but you cannot go beyond
the state of dissatisfaction
through some future goal that says one
day I would like to be in a state of
fulfillment or satisfaction no you have
to enter the state of fulfillment and
satisfaction by becoming one internally
with the present moment of
your purpose and your inner purpose is
that alignment with where you are right
now to be totally where you are and
whatever you are doing even if it
doesn’t look like your life purpose for
the Dubai for the next 30 years
Thanks whatever you are doing now to be
total in doing it and what no matter
what it is to be true to life by being
true to this moment I was gonna
constantly evolve you know I always want
to constantly grow and everyone that get
to a point where I feel like I gotta
figure it out you know I always want to
like kind of like push myself to be
better you know and do and do greater
things no matter what it is I mean I
want to be the best I’m a competitor you
know I like to compete you know like
growing up with you know with the name
Michael Jordan you know I’ve always had
a certain pressure pressure on on myself
and and always having to kind of like
you know put people wrong and and and
and I just kind of kind of like put an
instant chip on my shoulder I want it
just to be great you know and do great
things and then and also help people man
I’m really big into the next generation
I feel like that’s the whole I thought
that’s the only way it’s gonna get
better moving forward is if you know you
got to leave this world in a better
place than it was when you came in you
know I’m 187 – question mark I don’t
know when I’m gone and I’m saying but I
want to work on my – and I’m saying I
wanna work on that at time that I’m here
and it is some and I fuck I can make it
easier for the next round of filmmakers
and the next round of actors coming up
you know that’s it and I mean they’re
not didn’t I’ll be I’m continually going
out on that take as a corpse I look
again like I said you were awesome ask
me about the future I’ll let you I’ll
let you know a little bit closer and I
mean as far I can see right now is the
cold that’s all I can see you need to
bet on your strengths and don’t give a
fuck about where you suck at you’re
gonna way too many people in this room
are gonna spend the next 30 40 years of
their lives trying to check the boxes
other things that they’re not as good at
and that you’re gonna waste a load of
time and lose I highly recommend
auditing yourself or if you have no
empathy or EQ or self-awareness then
find somebody in your family or
friendship that does and let them tell
you who you are and once you believe
that either for yourself or someone else
told you go directly all chips all into
that because that is the only possible
way in my opinion watching from the
outside that is limited phrase that is a
very highly likely way of over-indexing
because the truth is if you want to be
an anomaly you’ve got to act like one
you know like and so that’s it that’s
what I got so thanks for having me as I
started studying people that did more
not people that didn’t do more not
people that said do lists not people
that said hey don’t be satisfied or be
satisfied not people that said they’d be
grateful for what you have I started
studying people that said and
had done more that you can do more
that’s who I listen to today
I listen to the people aren’t my friends
in my life the people I listen to the
people I talk to the people that I
follow on Facebook or YouTube or
I don’t follow everybody I follow the
people that say you can do more dude I
follow the people to say I am doing more
I follow the people that are actually
doing something on this planet to make a
difference for the better you have to be
selective you have to give something up
okay you cannot listen to everybody to
every voice to every person is quit or
given up you got to make a decision if
you have that little voice inside of you
that says you can do more you have to to
give attention to that voice and you got
to feed it with those that support that
idea that you can do more focus on
things that are AI driven artificial
intelligence driven whether it’s machine
learning deep learning learning neural
networks medical applications but within
ai ai is a buzzword that everybody is
using right now you know every in and to
that point you know we as old guys we go
back and it’s like 1995 we talk about
the internet and I would say to people
back in 1995 look if you don’t
understand the Internet you’re not gonna
be able to do business and now that’s
just blocking a tackling that seems
obvious back then it wasn’t right I can
even take you further back to my first
company you know what we did was a
company called micro solutions and we
did local area networks on wide area
networks and I used to walk into
companies and say you’re gonna have to
hook these pcs together at some point
that’ll make you more productive more
effective you know give you a
competitive advantage and people are
like now I just carry this floppy from
this PC to that PC yeah okay but today
we’re at the same type of inflection
point with artificial intelligence you
don’t have to be an expert and be able
to put together your own neural network
you know you don’t have to know what
weights and biases are but but you have
to have more than just a cursory
understanding
just like you have to know the
difference between you know different
types of websites and you have to
understand ecommerce if you’re in the
e-commerce you have to have a cursory
understanding of how apps work you’re
gonna have to have at least if not more
cursory understanding of artificial
intelligence because it will change
everything we do and if the internet was
10x in terms of change to business
artificial intelligence will be 100x or
more if you go to my house
right next to my bed there’s a book
machine learning for dummies if you go
into my bathroom there’s deep neural
networks for dummies right if you go
there’s a something for dummies in every
room of my house you know they could go
two ways I know but I’m just telling you
put the time I mean I’ve taken you know
I can’t even tell you how many hours now
I spent every week if not daily working
like I’ll go into Amazon AWS and go
through their machine learning tutorials
don’t think to yourself I’m not
technical enough or I’m not gonna get
this or I don’t get into this or it’s
too much try it get as far as you can
because it’s like doing a basic website
and a little bit of HTML just having
done that you feel smarter and you feel
a little bit more confident about this
you know I don’t want to be an alarmist
but I’m trying to scare the hell out of
you because it’s important it’s a very
natural process to begin something to be
very excited and then as you go down
that process to realize yeah I actually
don’t like this it’s not giving me as
much energy as I thought of what is
taking energy away and therefore I want
to give up and quit that thing and she
said if you do that once or twice like
hey so be it but if you’re doing it
every time if you just love that initial
rush that excitement of something new
but the actual nitty-gritty reality of
getting good at it of doing what Michiyo
Kaku calls having but power meaning
you’ve set your butt in the seat and you
do the work if that’s really your
problem and nothing is interesting
enough for you to sit there and do the
work you haven’t developed grit yet and
so grit is the ability to persevere to
see things through to go past the point
at which it is stopped being fun and it
becomes boring because you believe in
your end goal enough you’re excited by
what you’re trying to accomplish so much
that you’re willing to fight through
all of that difficulty you’re willing to
fight through the boredom you’re willing
to fight through the unease that arises
when you step outside your comfort zone
you’re doing things you’re not good at
and things that are boring those are the
two things that I find killed most
people they just cannot handle the
things that make them go oh god like I’m
not very good at this and I’m feeling
really badly about myself and they
forget that they can get good on a long
enough timeline and then too inevitably
in any pursuit of greatness in any
endeavor where you’re trying to gain
master you’re gonna get bored because
practice is repetition it’s doing
something over and over and over and
over to really train yourself to get to
the point where you’re truly exceptional
and there’s just so much boredom
inherent in that process so building in
the resilience to see all that stuff
through is the key part of grit and when
I say life doesn’t happen to you it
happens for you I really don’t know if
that’s true I’m just making a conscious
choice to perceive challenges as
something beneficial so that I can deal
with them in the most productive way
you’ll come up with your own style
that’s part of the fun so when we came
to America we were poor and broke the
way I look at it because we would always
run out of money before run out a month
we decide you know do we do without
electricity or gas because some months
we couldn’t afford to pay both and you
know being broke is being without money
being poor is being kind of scarcity
minded poor minded and we just realized
that money’s for the rich money’s for
the the Americans it’s for the people
who were born here I went to college and
that’s how I grew up
and later Jim Franco taught me that hey
you know what you can’t be scarcity
minded you can’t you have to live in
abundance you have to understand that
people just want a solution to a problem
and they don’t care about the color of
your skin about the level of your
education they want a solution to the
problem so he taught me he had to break
all these old patterns that I had right
what were some of the patterns some of
the patterns were that money’s for the
white folk and not for the foreigners
you actually thought yeah I really cuz
that’s that’s how it was because every
time we went and got got more food
stamps it was all foreigners there’s no
white people in line at least not not in
the parts of Santa Ana that I was raised
and so I felt that money was for the
people who were telling us to leave this
country go back to your own country and
that also puts a chip on your shoulder
right against them and so I guess I had
some reverse racism towards towards
white America now I realize for no
apparent reason there was a couple of
idiots and every culture I imagine right
but so that was one pattern that I had
another pattern that I had was that
being proud to be blue-collar like my
dad was like and he still says this work
is holy and I believe that work is holy
but the fact that he had so many jobs a
paper route pumping gas worked at a
pizzeria and so because of that mindset
blue collar blue collar always a blue
collar mentality and I took pride in
being blue collar another pattern Jim
Franco had to had the break was like
dude be white collar don’t use the
shovel sell the shovel I’d never heard
that phrase before I’m the guy that took
pride in I could dig a deeper hole a
deeper trench I could I could outwork
you but that’s still trading time for
dollars and so to be able to break those
who limiting belief systems that I have
it to me was huge and all of a sudden I
realized I’m no longer poor minded I may
end up broke again I do really well now
but I may make one or two bad decisions
with my money or my investment that
ended up being broke again but I’ll
never be poor and I know how to get back
from broke because I know how to add
value to society solve problems and
exchange for money but I’ll never be
poor again and poor is a state of mind
of feeling out of control
scarcity minded taking pride in being
blue-collar no one should ever take
pride in being blue-collar period period
you’ve got a brain you’ve got a solution
to a problem that people want to pay for
put it out there so when you say
scarcity minded abundant minded what do
you mean
well the scarcity minded person says Oh
someone else opened up a gym you know
across the street from me they’re gonna
put me out of business I better charge
less right the abundant minded person
says someone else opened up the gym
across the street from me I better out
service them out work them out social
media them right so the scarcity minded
person is always the sky is falling the
Chicken Little mentality the omigosh of
Trump goes into office then we’re all
screwed oh my gosh if Hillary goes into
office number all screwed I don’t care
who’s in office anymore
I control my own economy the economy can
crash and go back up and back down again
I will find a way as Tony Robbins says
I’m built for winter I just didn’t know
it and so more people need to be
abundant minded in that with the economy
crashes I just have to deliver more
value and create this category of one
about myself if competition shows up I
have to out service them out work them
out social media them versus shrivel up
and die there’s a very thin dividing
line between success and failure when
you start a business from scratch and
you know if you don’t have enough money
to pay the bills you go the wrong side
of that dividing line and if you can
somehow get enough money to pay the
bills
you stay the right side of that dividing
line you know I’ve always been running
running running faster than perhaps I
should and I have great difficulty
saying no to things so keep on taking on
new things and we’ve just managed to
stay the right side of the dividing line
over the last 50 years in business but
but equally in those early days when you
when you’re starting a business without
any financial backing it’s it’s it’s
easy to slip the wrong side and in fact
you know most entrepreneurs do do slip
the wrong side and the poor the
important thing is then just pick
yourself up and you know start again and
if it doesn’t work at that time keep
keep going until you do succeed and not
to give up how did you stay motivated
all the time people ask me that all the
time and the answer is I did it and
neither did you to become successful the
separator in life is really important
you’ll think the most inspired motivated
person wins nah not really it’s the
person who can work on the day’s they’re
not inspired and motivated it’s what do
you do when you’re not feeling great
what do you do when it’s not your best
day how do you do that carries you
through as rituals and habits so when
you’re fatigued when you’re tired when
you’re under pressure you react
reflexively and so successful people
rely on habits and rituals not just
their inspiration and motivation level
of course we’re both professionals and
being motivated inspired but that’s not
every day every minute and so what do I
do I work on the days because my habits
and rituals carry me through and so
me here’s how I look at my life in my
day if I can control the first 30
minutes of my day and the last 30
minutes of my day I have a whole lot
better chance of the middle of my day
being controlled and so I’m a freak
about the first 30 minutes of every day
it’s really about the first 45 minutes
and I’m obsessive about the last 45
minutes of every single day
that gives me some illusion in my mind
and measure of control the other thing
it does it delivers to me habits and
rituals that serve me that I do every
day that are consistent it gives me
comfort in stormy times that ocean out
there is raging at the top right now
right the waves are crashing at the
bottom of that ocean it’s completely
calm at the bottom of that ocean is the
habitual part of the water right it’s
the it’s the part of the war that stays
the most consistent that’s why it’s so
calm okay
so when you see someone how to control
their emotions are up and down all the
time this is someone who is without
rituals and habits successful people
have those and so they do and so it
keeps me calm it keeps me comfortable
what I decided to do this I I first
talked to my my wife who is sitting here
in the audience and she had married a
you know relatively stable goofy but
still relatively stable a person working
at a Wall Street firm I worked at a
quantitative hedge fund and this was a
hard decision and I was looking for the
right framework in which to make that
kind of important decision and and and
the right framework I found is a regret
minimization framework and that’s just a
nerdy way of saying that you want to
project yourself to age 80 and then
think back over your life and and if
you’re if you’re if you’re 81 or the
thyou want to minimize the number of
regrets you have throughout that period
of time I think this is something a lot
of people do maybe subconsciously they
probably very few people probably name
it regret minimization framework because
most people are healthier than that but
but it was a very clear way for me to
think about making that kind of life
decision and then
and the way it helped was I thought okay
if I go do this thing and participate in
this thing called the Internet that I
genuinely believe is gonna be a big deal
and if I fail am I gonna regret having
tried and failed and I knew the answer
that was no but I also knew that if I
didn’t try that I would always regret
that I would always wonder and it would
haunt me and until that you know
mythical day which I actually hope will
come when the things most matter you so
desperately don’t want to destroy it for
being scared that you can really destroy
it sure when I hosted the Oscars I was I
was like wow man this is a billion
people and I just thought okay whatever
you do just remember you’re a kid from
Rangga in sydney you’re hosting the
Oscars have some fun you know and
luckily for me those turning points I’ve
somehow always stuck to that idea of
just having fun being an actor or even
being an artist and I had studied in
school behind the camera was not even in
the vernacular of my dreams
I was raised 9 to 5 you go to work your
work you work your way up a scale that’s
from your old man right yeah and that
was all I was able to even like I said
dream about so the idea of living life
and having a career that was in the arms
that was in the storytelling business it
was something that was really fun it was
not something that like I said I even
dreamed up I was in the right place
right time right bar guy found me and
said you want to come in and read for a
part in a movie I’m here producing
called dazed confused I said sure I got
to read for the part it’s got three
lines three lines turns in three weeks
work they’re paying me 325 bucks a day
people were telling me I’m pretty good
at it and I think I’m getting away with
something and I still do feel like I’m
getting away with didn’t you have people
just afraid man so many people are
afraid of rejection of failure but
without failure you’d have no success
we’re stuck the most biggest failure I
had a TV show called the big house got
picked up by ABC they told me that we
were gonna do 12 episodes flew me down
to New York
this is the biggest news ever I’m about
to be rich holy Sh
22 I got a TV show I’m writing executive
producing starring in the show you know
what no I’m not just gonna go down there
by myself we got to bring the cash they
said no Kevin we only flying you I said
well I’m a paid for the cast to come I
took my own money flew them all down in
New York get to New York put on my suit
people taking pictures of me walking out
this is the best thing ever
holy Sh I’m famous this is what it is I
get to the up front up front to where
they turn out your TV shows the slew of
shows there Nelson your time slides I’m
next they’re about to announce the big
house somebody puts their hand on my
chest and says Kevin wait they talking
to earpiece they said nope I’m standing
with him right now
I’m like what’s going on well they want
me to do you know they want me go on the
other side or something he goes okay
I’ll tell him they cancel they’re not
gonna pick you up you got to step back
that don’t sound right literally that
fast
they sent me home they’re like you got
to just go home TV show got picked up
six months later for six episodes the
third episodes air they cans will show
again I got to show can’t do twice in a
six-month period which has never been
done before I booked about three more
pilots got canceled there was a show
called John Stamos his show he was a
publicist and they wanted me as a series
regular the show was going great ratings
were good put me on the show show got
canceled it was everything got touched
on TV tundish I’m now just sitting out
here doing nothing
I handle money borrowed money left him
right I decided to say it I said I’m
just gonna do stand-up comedy and focus
on my craft and I slaved the role about
five years doing the same circuit over
and over you really think creativity is
important whether whatever you do I
think it’s fun too
be creative with meals that you cook or
meals that you eat or vacations that you
go on or dates that you set you know I
just think it’s fun to be creative
everyone likes that and I think
authenticity is just super important I
might be hyper aware of it because I
grew up in an industry that’s wrought
with inauthenticity that people will
look you right in the face and and
totally tell you what you need to hear
at the moment I don’t think that’s
unique to that industry but it’s filled
with it there so I I think transparency
and authenticity is just super important
I don’t mind having conflict with
someone if we can then be done with it
it’s that years spent where you know
that some things going on and you’re not
talking about it those awful
Thanksgivings with the family of cousins
you’re like hey Jim hey Neela I hate
that I hate that life’s too short for
that stuff just saw this Rumi quote that
I love set your life on fire and seek
those who fan your flames the philly
translation of that is don’t be hanging
with no jank ass Joker’s that don’t help
you shine the prerequisite for spending
time with any person is that they
nourish and inspire you
they feed your flame look at your last 5
text messages are those people feeding
your flames or dousing your fire put
your phone down for just a second and
look around look to the people around
you are those people throwing logs on
your fire or are they pissin on it the
people that you spend time with are
gonna make or break your dreams
everybody don’t deserve to be around you
you got to defend your light with your
life so who are the people in your life
that are fanning your flames shout them
out tag on below do you think there are
no hurdles or there are obstacles that
I’d overcome but
even I got to high school I wasn’t
ranked that’s you know I wasn’t ranked I
wasn’t highly touted as a high school
prospect I had nobody really running
knocking on my door saying please please
please come play for our school until
Coach McKillop called and you know
everything happens for a reason and
there’s there’s a story to everything
and and if you take time to realize you
know what what your dream is and what
you really want in life no matter what
it is whether it’s sports whether it’s
in other fields you have to realize that
there’s always work to do and you want
to be the hardest-working person and
whatever you do and you’ll put yourself
in position to be successful and you
have to have a passion about what you do
and basketball was mine and that’s what
scared me to this point go into your
house don’t quiet room and you close the
lights draw the shades and sit on a
couch and visualize a big fat check 25
G’s thousand bucks u.s. okay with your
name on it and I want you to imagine
that check and just make that check go
bigger in your mind and make it real
more real and just put it out into the
ether of the universe and the law of
attraction will take hold just think
about it boom right hello if that’s your
strategy for success
the only thing we’ll throw up in your
mailbox is not the check it’s a frickin
eviction notice from your landlord
they’ll be towing away your car your
wife or your husband or the next-door
neighbor and you’ll be so saying where’s
the check okay
the secret is a load of crap okay do I
believe in manifestation yeah
damn straight I do
but you gotta take action I’m one of
those unfortunate people I tried it I
really died some I tried it I read the
book so let me try you know
it’s like I’d try to pray for the check
never came so no one out slow taking
action guess what the check came with a
few a couple of zeros passion is not an
actionable word it’s correct you know
that those who do the things that
they’re passionate about do better but
it’s not helpful advice and so the
question is where does passion come from
passion is a result passion as an energy
passion is the feeling you have when
you’re engaged in something that you
love passion is the feeling you have
that you would probably do this for free
you know and you can’t believe somebody
pays you to do it you know and I think
we mistake that passion is something we
do in our private lives but it shouldn’t
be done you know in our careers for
example and I’m a firm believer that you
are who you are and anybody who says I’m
different at home than I am at work in
one of those two places you’re lying and
the goal is to make everything you do in
home and it works something that you
have excitement to do so how do you find
the things that you’re excited to do
well it’s actually easier than you think
what are the things that you love to do
what are the things that you would do
for free you know how can you recreate
that feeling and and be papered so what
are the things that I do in the weekend
right I love I’m very involved in the
art world I love to go to museums and
galleries but I love to go see dance and
performances because I want to see how
others are interpreting the world so
that inspires me new ideas new thoughts
new ways of looking at the world are
things that interest me privately and I
seek it out and pay money for it right
so does that mean I have to have a
career in the arts no it means I have to
have a career where new ideas are
explored where people are experimenting
and trying things out and I have to
explore new ideas and try things out and
I’m just as excited to go to work
everyday as I am just you know go do
something on a Saturday night and so the
idea of finding your passion is
ironically simple because you should be
doing stuff that you enjoy sometimes
what is the stuff that you enjoy and
then what is the stuff that you love who
the people you love and what are those
where they all have in common
I find that
levels of success in almost any industry
or area correlate to a person asking
great questions in some cases they seem
absurd in fact the hallmarking way of
great questions is that sound completely
ridiculous so someone might ask like
peter thiel why can’t you achieve your
10 year goals in the next six months
there’s a thought exercise that’s
like–that’s that’s a good question to
answer for yourself and these types of
questions come up surprisingly often
with with very very impressive folks
whether it’s in business military
entertainment or otherwise and the way
you can get better at questions is by
studying interviews in part so I studied
Larry King
I studied Charlie Rose I studied Terry
Gross I studied that that go down the
list
I studied Tony Robbins who does in
person one-on-one interventions at his
events in front of ten thousand five
thousand people and he’s just genius
with how he uses questions to like
pattern interrupt and grab someone’s
attention and divert them in a more
productive productive direction now why
is that relevant relevant because
thinking is the process of asking
questions you’re asking yourself
questions then you’re answering them in
your own head so if you get better at
asking other people questions you get
better at asking yourself questions
which means you are a you’re improving
your thought performance and level of
thinking everyone has a problem with
time but the day is 24 hours and we
sleep six now I know there’s some out
there that say whoa whoa whoa whoa I
need eight but I say just sleep a little
faster because the bottom line is we
have six hours of sleep 24 hours are
available so if eighteen hours now
available to you Brooke your family your
hobbies and also to learn something new
or to do something new which could
easily be that you want to learn a new
language or that you want to read as a
new year’s resolution after
book every week where you say I’m gonna
go and reshape my party so you’re gonna
go and take this hour out of your
schedule and say I’m gonna train an hour
every day so this is for most people
huge challenge but it is totally doable
I can tell them because the kind of
things that I did when I came to this
country I mean I went to school I was
working in construction I was working
out my five hours a day I was taking
acting classes from 8 o’clock at night
to 12 midnight I was doing all of those
things I wanted to make sure that out of
the 24 hours of the day that I don’t
waste one single hour those hours were
too precious and so they’re just want to
tell people don’t give me this thing I
have a difficult time at the time and I
don’t have time for this neither of that
you have time you make the time hard
work and discipline and rehearsal and
that’s always the most thrilling way to
earn applause and everything that you’ve
seen me do I’ve always rehearsed a lot
for it
so there’s um there’s a lot of passion
that goes behind it I mean doing the
same thing I mean just being known for
like one thing your whole life it’s a
sad you know I there’s we all have so
many interests I’m sure and so you know
to get to make jobs of them all or jobs
if you could call it that
but to make businesses out of them all
and see them on a daily basis in your
light and how you visualize them is
really cool and fun and we can all do it
we all can do it so many people are so
afraid to try something because they’re
like ah like I can’t leave my job
because I’m you know I have to pay bills
or you know it’s like we’ll start small
then but don’t say you can’t because as
many times you say you can’t you’re not
going to if you don’t think you can you
won’t thoughts become things I’m in
meetings a lot my calendar gets very
full with those and then at night after
the kids have gone to bed I’m on email a
great deal I get messages during the day
that’s my chance of long responses and
then over the weekend I send a lot of
mail as well as well I take two weeks a
year to just go off and read and think
where I’m not interrupted by work or
anything else I’m just solidly trying to
think about the future and people get to
send me
things to read as part of that so-called
think week so it’s nice mix of things
about 25 percent of the time then I’m
out traveling around meeting with
customers Europe Asia and that sort of
helps me think okay do we have the right
priorities what what are people
responding well to and what would they
they like to see us do better I don’t
try to look too far in advance because I
get overwhelmed really easily you know
like if someone has a lot of weight to
lose if their goal is like lose a
hundred pounds I can only imagine like
even with me with some of my goals like
this recovery it feels like it’s so far
away and it takes so long for you to
like start seeing a difference that like
you’re naturally are motivated to keep
going right that it’d be super easy to
give up or to want to stop but if you
and I tell people is if you just focus
on all those little moments along the
way and ignore what your big goal is
time goes by so fast
like a year goes by so unbelievably fast
that it will be here before you know it
and I completely agree that sometimes if
you focus on something that is so far
away or does feel so out of reach you
can definitely get too discouraged like
before you actually try to get there
start checking in with your thoughts and
how you’re feeling each day so outside
about gratitude practice which I’m gonna
kind of talk about as well this is
probably the number one fastest way that
you can start changing your life and I’m
going to tell you about the ripple
effect that happens so it’s checking in
to see where you’re at what emotion are
you feeling in that moment so if you
wake up in the morning and you’re
anything like me I don’t necessarily
wake up in the best Boone at all so I
really need to start figuring out how to
up level my feelings right because our
feelings are the best indicators of what
we’re attracting what we’re going to
attract that day how we’re gonna feel
maybe what’s going to come into our life
who we’re going to end up talking to
because truly truly I know that we are
all on
we’re all vibrating at a different
frequency so if you are a really
positive excited happy person who knows
that great things are gonna come your
way or who’s always thinking positive
you’re gonna attract that same type of
person and I can see this through my
life as I’ve really started to uplevel
my life and my thoughts in my business
the people that are being drawn to me so
you really do it really is like attracts
like so what we want to do is we want to
get you into that mode right those
people that you’re like wow they can
just walk into a room and you just feel
their energy they’re just vibrating so
high or maybe they’re just always so
happy or they always you you just want
to be around them because you want a
piece of what they have so how do we get
there how do we become one of those
people when you wake up in the morning
maybe if you are at a low point or
you’re thinking about all the things
that you have to do that day what is a
thought or what is something that you
can do to get yourself to the next best
reachable thought so I don’t want you to
think that you have to go from zero to a
hundred in that split-second it’s
basically going from zero to five to ten
to twenty to fifty and working your way
up so it’s one thought at a time so
maybe you wake up and you just say three
things that you’re grateful for every
single morning you let yourself really
experience being grateful for it really
think about why you’re grateful and then
what you’re gonna do is as as you mosey
down the stairs to get your cup of
coffee you say three more things you’re
grateful for or I’m so grateful that I
have a job today because of what it
allows me to do and you really start
letting that sink in and you think of
something that maybe you’re excited
about something that you could create
something that you love about yourself
it’s this constant up leveling of your
thoughts so it’s guiding your thoughts
right so instead of just being mindless
which what happens we’re we’re imperfect
human beings right so when we’re
mindless and when we don’t guide our
thoughts they’re gonna go to chaos
they’re gonna go to craziness they’re
gonna go to overwhelm because life is
crazy and we are constantly getting
sidetracked we’re constantly getting
distracted it’s literally people’s
full-time job on TV on Instagram on
whatever we’re doing to distract us
right they want us to be their consumer
they want us to be completely distracted
they want us to go to this fast-food
place do this thing do that thing so we
need to bring it back to a mindful place
so really that’s what we’re doing when
we up level those thoughts is how do you
bring it back from crazy town so bring
it on back and then guide it to that
next best thought right because the next
best thought is gonna attract another
good thought attract another good
thought and it attract another good
thought when I get to the courts and you
know I have my bag and I’m wearing my my
hat in my in my hoodie this is my office
like that’s my workplace and I am like
I’m laser focus and I’ve had that I mean
I I think it’s that mentality that
whatever I just have that tunnel vision
and that’s how I go and when I leave the
courts got friends family jokes fun like
when I get to my office I close the door
and that’s me that’s you I think play
the physician but I do like that
pressure and sometimes you don’t always
succeed and that’s okay and as a forward
you have to find that balance I mean
you’re gonna shoot five times and maybe
you’ll score once maybe you won’t you
know maybe you’ll get three goals out of
three shots so it’s a little
unpredictable and you just kind of got
to go with it and have confidence in
yourself
and you worked as a lawyer and a judge
25 years on the bench even before you
broke in a TV which you did at the age
of 52 right we’re there any times that
you said to yourself and this is just
too big of a risk I did I said it right
at the beginning because as most of you
know or even tangentially involved with
the entertainment industry 99% of the
things that television produces that all
these really smart people produce fail
they spend a lot of money they invest
tens of millions of dollars to launch a
so why did I think at age 52 when nobody
knew the who the hell I was that I was
going to be able to launch a successful
career at my age well you got to be in
it to win it it’s like the lottery says
you know if you don’t buy a ticket you
can’t get that gold ring and I said I
have had a great career I really loved
the family for it I wasn’t bored with it
but a little getting a little tired of
all the failure despite my best effort
and I thought this might be an adventure
you gonna put you how to pension and you
had your health coverage and you still
had those license plates that were
helpful but I gave it a shot yeah and
you gave it your all I gave it a shot
and the truth is the people originally
that produced my program if I would have
listened to them it would have been a
failure that’s true I can say that not
because they can’t do anything to me too
many of us for a long time have confused
our net worth and our self-worth your
net worth is going to fluctuate it’s
going to go up and down that’s what
money does but your self-worth should
not who you are what’s important to you
how you live your values should never be
negotiable
compromised and should never settle
again we have gotten to this point what
we’ve got to say to ourselves my net
worth is not my self-worth in the CEO of
today not only has to have leadership
skills and an IQ there’s got to be a
healthy dose of EQ the emotional side
because Millennials today young people
today want to come to work for a company
that cares about them they want to feel
connected to the company and I think
it’s critically important that we
humanize the CEO the CEO cannot be this
imperialist that’s sitting there but a
human right superior we have to remove
the barriers between the CEO and the
frontline and that requires a new skill
to so I don’t want to say it’s me
but I think a lot of women CEOs actually
can do pretty well in today’s
environment because by nature we are we
humanize ourselves a lot more because
that’s the way we’ve been brought up and
we listen a lot more I think we stop and
ask for directions
you know there’s so much we do and I
think that today’s world I mean there’s
a new breed of CEOs have come up men and
women who are doing a very very nice job
but all of them I think are a new breed
that’s learning that the world is
completely different and recognizing
that EQ is as important as IQ that’s
what I’m trying to focus on as much as I
can
I believe that I can only should expect
to make money and things that I
understand and when I say understand I
don’t mean understand you know what the
product does or anything like that I
mean understand what the economics of
the business are likely to look at look
like ten years from now or 20 years ago
I know in general what the economics
will say Wrigley chewing gum will look
like ten years now
the internet isn’t going to change the
way people chew gum it isn’t going to
change what you come they chew
you know if you own the chewing gum
market in a big way and you’ve got
double mint spearmint juicy fruit those
brands will be there ten years from now
so I can’t pinpoint exactly what the
numbers are gonna look like on Rigby but
I’m not gonna be way off if I try to
look forward on something like that that
evaluating that company is within what I
call my circle of competence I
understand what they do I understand the
economics of it I understand the
competitive aspects of the business so
figuring out the economic consequences
TV
I think there’s I don’t know 20 25
million cents a year so in the United
States I don’t think there’s one of them
made in the United States anymore I mean
you’d say TV set manufacturer what a
wonderful business sight everybody now
nobody had a TV in 1950 or thereabouts
45 to 50 everybody has multiple sets now
nobody is in the United States and made
any real money making the sense that
they’re all out of business
you know the Magnavox is the RCA is all
of those companies radio was the
equipment of the 20 over 500 companies
making radios in the 1920s again I don’t
think there’s a u.s. radio manufacturer
at the present time but coca-cola you
know I was at 1884 Jacobs pharmacy or
whatever and fellow comes up with
something a lot of cock copiers over the
years but now you’ve got a company that
is selling roughly 1.1 billion eight
ounce servings of its product not all
cokes
right and some others daily throughout
the world 117 years later so
understanding the economic
characteristics of a business is
different than predicting the fact that
an industry is going to do wonderfully
so I look at the internet businesses or
I look at tech messes I say this is a
marvelous thing and I love to play
around on the computer and it now I
wonder my books from Amazon and all
kinds of things but I don’t know who’s
gonna win unless I know who’s gonna win
I’m not interested in investing I’ll
just play around on the computer and
defining your circle of competence is
the most important aspect of investing
it’s not how important how large your
circle is you don’t have to be an
expert on everything but knowing where
the perimeter of that circle of what you
know on what you don’t know is and
staying inside of it is all-important
tom watson seniors started IBM said in
this book he said I’m no genius said but
I’m smart in spots and I stay around
those spots and you know that is the key
so if I understand a few things and I
stick in that arena I’ll do okay and if
I don’t understand something but I don’t
excited about it because my neighbors
are talking about the stocks are going
up and everything they start fooling
around someplace else eventually I’ll
get creamed and I should tend to be
incredibly modest in terms of describing
your talents and you you always seem to
belittle your your abilities to a
certain extent when clearly there
there’s a reason why this everything you
do has been working out I was reading
about how you said that to certain
extent that comes from your your punk
rock roots yep there’s no other choice
in those days there was no idea of this
makes money there’s no idea like this is
my future it was like a week at a time
they have five shows we’re gonna get to
Sunday and even those days were like
fraught with turbulence and so I never
really saw a future none of us did and
some of us you know didn’t make it some
of them are dead and some of them are
just kind of trying to recreate their
past and so I realized that I have to be
very hardworking because I don’t have
kind of the ease of talent and I come
from that and I think it you know a lot
of ways that served me very well
in that I am is kind of hardworking as
I’ve ever been completely on without
confidence and I have none I don’t I
don’t want any because I think you turn
your back on the thing and that’s when
you get gored is when you think I got
this I never think I got this I think oh
man don’t screw this up and I go at
everything like including you and I
sitting here right now I’m trying to be
fully engaged and that intensity I think
has served me quite well but it comes
from punk rock absolutely last boss I
ever had was my boss at haagen-dazs III
my ice cream shop and
to this day he still comes to my shows
and whenever I see Steve who got me my
first apartment who believed I was
living in my car he believed in me
whenever I see him I get all weepy it’s
good to see you sir Henry you can call
me Steve I can’t do that sir because
because he trusted me with his money
and I said let me run your store I know
how to do this I can do this he’s like
well if you screw up you’re out again I
said I won’t screw up and I end up being
I ran a store and so um it was but it
was anger that said I’ll be here all
damn week I’ll get this whole thing
right I fired his staff and rehired a
bunch of people can really work and it’s
it was out of anger like I’ll be back in
four hours to run this $3 and 75 cent an
hour job into the ground and then I
joined Black Flag and I thought I was a
hardworking person then you meet the
guys in Black Flag who are so driven
you’d see Greg Ginn work 23 hour days
like Greg you’re still on the phone I
know Greg when did you eat I don’t know
Greg when the last time you showered do
we have a shower like the guy we were
not gonna be stopped and I kind of go at
that intensity
what kind of anything I do like you’re
very calm good-looking young man look at
me I’m a spaz sitting next to York I’m
doing an interview with you focus I’m
sweating ma’am and so
but I’d like it’s going to the airport
like ten miles out and so it’s but it’s
anger that has informed kind of my life
and unflatteringly a sense of vengeance
every damn person who said I wouldn’t be
anything I’m crushing them every day
everybody I had to endure in any band I
was in everyday into a powder yeah thank
you and I wish them no ill I just wish
to shine brighter and if it burns my
body to a crisp
I’m happy to go right now my story is
that I am a researcher and I never
thought I would have a big public career
and so I did a TED talk that went very
viral and in the wake of that I was kind
of everywhere for a couple of months on
every cnn.com NPR it was everywhere and
something I wasn’t used to and the
marching orders from my therapist and my
husband were do not read the comments
it’s a one morning I woke up and there
were two or three new articles out and I
started reading the comments and they
were devastating they weren’t about my
work they were about me
they were super personal and they were
the things that creative people play in
their mind and then give up doing what
they really want to do like if I asked
every single one of you you would try
what would you try if you knew people
would never say this about you what
would that what would this be
it would those were the comments that
morning
of course she embraces imperfection what
choice does she have would which look at
how she looks I feel sorry for her kids
less research more Botox just mean
personal attacks the things that really
up until that moment had inspired me to
stay very small in my life in my career
just so I could avoid those things
so that morning Steve and the kids leave
I stay home I get on the couch and I
watch eight hours of Downton Abbey and
when it’s over I don’t want to turn off
Downton Abbey because I then because
through the administered on Finn Abbey
then it’s like soccer practice and
dinner and back to the mean people and
maybe even shit I get Botox and maybe
you know maybe if I stand still I talk
so I get my laptop and I do a search for
who was president in the United States
during the Downton Abbey era have you
ever done that like you you’re numbing
with TV or movie and so when it’s over
you just like stay in that space by like
learning more about the actors and
what’s going on I’ve been doing this
long enough to know this is like you’re
laughing with me
so I put it in and Theodore Roosevelt
comes up and a quote comes up and I read
it and this is what it says it’s a quote
from a speech that he gave in the early
nineteen hundred’s of the Sorbonne and a
lot of people call them in the arena
speech and this is the passage that
changed changes my life it’s not the
critic who counts it’s not the man who
points out how the strong man stumbles
or where the doer of Deeds could have
done it better the credit belongs to the
person who’s actually in the arena whose
face is marred with blood and sweat and
dust who at the best in the end knows
the triumph of high achievement and who
at worst if he fails he fails daring
greatly so the moment that I read that I
close my laptop and this is what shifted
in me three huge things first I’ve spent
the last 12 years studying vulnerability
and that quote was everything I know
about vulnerability it is not about
winning it’s not about losing it’s about
showing up and
scene the second thing this is who I
want to be I want to create I want to
make things that didn’t exist before I
touch them I want to show up and be seen
in my work and in my life and if you’re
going to show up and be seen
there is only one guarantee and that is
you will get your ass kicked
that is the guarantee that’s the only
certainty you have if you’re gonna go in
the arena and spend any time in there
whatsoever especially if you’ve
committed to creating in your life you
will get your ass kicked so you have to
decide at that moment I think for all of
us if courage is a value that we hold
this is a consequence you can’t avoid it
the third thing which really set me free
and I think Steve my husband would argue
has made me somewhat dangerous it’s kind
of a new philosophy about criticism
which is this if you’re not in the arena
also getting your ass kicked I’m not
interested in your feedback you stare at
your past and you’ll end up staying
there it’s okay to look back and admire
it
but you carry on I’m not I’m not in the
business of staring staring back at it
you know I mean I’m getting lost back
there it’s people say you can people say
a loss can make a break a fight that but
trust me a win can also make a break a
fire because they get comfortable with
it with a win people can get comfortable
with it with a win and and and slack off
then slack off on the train and slack
off on the diet they’ve won more they’re
winners now that’s not me you know you
sleep on a you sleep on a win and you’ll
wake up with a loss so I just carry on
keep doing what I’m doing and that’s why
these turnaround is so good for me Vegas
straight away the Fighting Irish gotta
head to the fighting capital it’s it’s
perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top and
only gonna go as far as you think you’re
worthy I can push you can push you you
can have the greatest product but if you
don’t feel worthy you will work hard to
sabotage that relationship you don’t
know right you don’t know you’re doing
you think these are the things I need
and you’re driving that guy away you’re
driving that one
because your self-worth says they
weren’t gonna stay forever anyway or
self-worth around money you have a cat
that you feel like you’re worthy of a
million dollars you will always get to
999 four thousand and you will stop
because your self-worth says it what’s a
good exercise or process that we can
follow on a daily basis maybe something
simple to enhance our enrichment
absolutely worthiness absolutely I did
this for six months every single day
right after I brush my teeth and it’s
the ICU exercise and you get in the
mirror now it’s not necessarily simple
because because you deliver yourself of
course and as complicated as you are
will be the degree an acceptable
mechanics are yes I appreciate that
distinction um you get in the mirror and
you complete three different sentences
you want to write this down the first
sentence you look at yourself
and you say your name so you would say
Louis and you complete this is I’m proud
that you and find seven different things
every day to celebrate yourself for
seven different each day you can do the
same thing you did the day before
but each they do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut
Louis I forgive you for and cut the
shackles to blame shame guilt regret and
anger in that sentence you cut those
five shackles not the first day maybe
not the third day but by the 21st day by
the thirteenth day you’ll feel some
relief so Louis I forgive you for and go
back five years 15 years 20 years did
that forgive you fit for that thing
don’t nobody know about but you go ahead
and cut those shackles because if you
can still think about it is still in
your energy space and then the third
sentence is Louis I commit to you that
before you make a commitment to anybody
else throughout your day you make seven
commitments to you so the first sentence
I’m proud that you you’re celebrating
yourself first
we are under celebrated as as a society
we look for acknowledgement they enter
they interviewed a hundred executives
that all made over a quarter of a
million dollars and said would you like
a 5% raise next year or would you rather
be told thank you more often 100 percent
100 percent said keep your money I’d
rather hear thank you so we’re under
celebrated but first celebrate you be
the example when I was on Oprah when she
said what do you do I said I recognize
that I’m the example of how the rest of
the world is supposed to treat me and
it’s my job to give the world the best
example of how I like to be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that I say to the my girls all of the
time that your real work is to figure
out where your power base is and to work
on the alignment of your personality
your gifts that you have to give with
the real reason why you’re here that’s
that’s the number one thing you have to
do is to work on yourself and to fill
your self up and keep your cup full keep
yourself full now I used to be afraid of
that I used to be afraid particularly
from people who say oh she’s that she’s
so full of herself
she’s herself and now I embrace it I
considered a compliment that I am full
of myself because you only when you’re
full I’m full I’m overflowing my cup
runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it every
single day that we wake up we have been
gifted the opportunity of choice you can
choose to be happy or you can choose to
be sad I don’t care what your situation
is you should never allow your situation
to define who you are as a person I know
I lived out of my car for two-and-a-half
years and you know the story that I told
them up myself in my head every day all
day long why does this person get this
why does it why’s this always keep
happening to me why do I keep getting
this girlfriend this kind of girlfriend
why does this happen to me how come this
person got this record deal and I didn’t
how come this person why oh poor pity me
shut up Garin Jones the outside is the
physical manifestation of what goes on
inside the brain things do not just
happen no one just rear-ends your car
you don’t just become broke broke is a
mindset things don’t just happen your
pocketbook is not just below balance or
on zero
you’re not just over just by chance
you’re just overweight things don’t just
happen I wasn’t just living out of my
car for two and a half years the outside
is the physical manifestation of what
goes on inside the brain just like you
can think yourself sad or mad or broke
and all these things you can also think
yourself happy I’m telling you coming
from a guy that lived out of his car for
two and a half
years I have stuff that I haven’t even
posted online day 1 day 2 day 3 day 4
day month like month year it came it was
so bad that I was numb with emotion numb
with emotions crying myself to sleep cry
myself to sleep in my Jeep how does a
guy with so much passion live in his car
for two and a half years it was all
because of me I deserved to live in my
car I deserved to be broke
I deserved not to have the opportunities
that I should have been getting and they
weren’t for me but I’ll tell you what
was for me I woke up every day with an
opportunity to choose different if you
want something different you have to do
something different it’s that simple you
want something different in life you
have to do something different whatever
it is that you want to do your there’s
gonna be risk in your life and risk is a
necessary component of progress you can
make any pioneering movements in the
world of any kind whether they be the
geographical physical exploration that
I’ve just been talking about or whether
it be you know a more cerebral
exploration of a scientific field or I
bet you could ask that question of every
speaker here and I bet that every
speaker here has taken substantial risks
whether it be intellectual or otherwise
to achieve what they’re you know what
they’ve done I believe people are
bullied because of the image that they
they projected when I was young I had a
lot of a big lack of confidence and in
my school where I used to go the other
day lincoln teenager they used to pick
on the younger kids that were sent there
because they used to that problem with
their family raised by single father or
mother like alcoholic some were our
orphan and you know they grew up in a
bad environment with a lot of violence
so the only way of communication they
had it was true violence
and they used to apply that to the
younger kid in school and I was victim
of that unfortunately so so that thing
is that when I go to do conference the
people why why you get bully sometimes
is because the image you project if you
look down raise their shoulder and look
like a weakling in like in nature the
lion will always go for the animal who’s
weak whose injure the same thing in
society the people will bully that easy
target and when I was young I had a big
problem with confidence you know I used
to people look down you know I didn’t
have older brother or older cousin to
defend myself I was by myself you know
and I got picked on because I was an
easy target like this so what martial
art taught me is to stand up straight
when I look I talk to people I look in
the eye when I shake and I’m firm and
the way I start to carry myself the body
language transform me it’s that I I stop
being bullying that because I start
beating up people right just because I
the way I was starting to act the way I
was starting to the the projection that
I give to people change and that’s what
makes it stop it’s not about being tall
now it’s about presenting an and an in
love look tough and look confident look
confident
that’s about same thing in business same
thing when you go ask a girl on a date
absolutely good I am sorry I I don’t
want to bother you but please could you
think you could come with me Saturday
night to the rail you know like it
wouldn’t work you know like they go ask
you for a raise look like a loser you
don’t you have to be for you know
into finishing the only work that
mattered to me I was set free because my
greatest fear had been realized and I
was still alive and I still had a
daughter whom I adored and I have an old
typewriter and a big idea and so bottom
became the solid foundation on which I
rebuilt my life it is impossible to live
without failing at something you might
as well not have lived at all it took a
couple months to like reel I mean I was
17 at the time I just finished high
school two months earlier and I’m now
living in Melbourne I mean I was playing
catch up really quickly anyway I was
living on my own in a new city where I
had never met anyone two hour flight
away from anyone I knew and I had no
money and I was like just trying to find
couches to sleep on at that point plus
before you’re 18 you can’t like sign up
and get electricity bills and stuff like
that so no one would rent a place to me
I didn’t have any money the whole thing
was like I was just trying to like keep
my head above water at that point and
then once it settled in and I kind of
got settled there and you know it’s
working constantly then that’s when I
felt like oh yeah I’ve seen I’ve seen
people make the jump from here to
America so my choices are either stay on
you know be good enough to stay on this
show the decades the way some cost
members have which you know you’d have a
lovely life in Melbourne or you screw it
up and get fired which I didn’t
obviously didn’t want to take that
option or try and make the transition to
the American and industry you know try
and move to LA and do pilot season as I
had seen a few cast members do at that
point so that is my goal any fear when
you made the made the flight yes but it
wasn’t as scary yes definitely but it
wasn’t as scary as that first moved to
Melbourne that first move to Melbourne
was terrifying because I was just you
know I like I said I didn’t have money
at the time I didn’t
Like Heaven I didn’t know when you at
least when I moved to LA like when I did
that flight to LA I knew two people
there already who had already been our
neighbors and I had my money saved so if
anything went really wrong I knew I
could afford to get in a cab drive to
the airport and buy a ticket home and so
like I that’s all I needed to know I was
like cool I’m sweet whatever happens
like if anything goes really wrong I can
always afford to fly hard and they’ll be
fine
and it never once you got here did ever
seem like anything was going really
longer yeah obviously like the ups and
downs and like the crazy as anyone who’s
moved to a new city before I’m sure I’ve
had crazy experiences so I had all that
for sure but that no it was fine I was
uh it would have had to take a lot to
make me fly um I was like I will not be
a failure I came here and I’m not going
home until I’ve made it in this business
so a lot of people come to me they say
well I want to be an entrepreneur and I
go that’s great what’s your idea and
they go well I don’t have one yet and I
say well I think you should go get a job
as a busboy or something so you find
something you’re really passionate about
because it’s a lot of work and I’m
convinced that about half of what
separates the successful entrepreneurs
from the non successful ones is pure
perseverance it is so hard you pour so
much your life into this thing there are
such rough moments in time that most
people give up I don’t blame them it’s
really tough and it consumes your life I
mean if you’re if you’ve got a family
and you’re in the early days of a
company it’s I can’t imagine how one
could do it
I’m sure it’s it’s been done but it’s
rough for me because it’s a pretty much
a you know an 18 hour day job seven days
a week for a while so unless you have a
lot of passion about this you’re gonna
not survive you’re gonna give it up so
you’ve got to have an idea or a problem
or a wrong that you want to write that
you’re passionate about otherwise you’re
not going to have the perseverance to
stick it through and I think that’s half
the battle right there it’s hard to
remember how bad it was you know a night
early 80s with IBM taking over the world
with the PC with das out there it was it
was far worse than the Apple 2 and they
tried to copy the Apple 2 and they done
a pretty bad job and if you needed to
know a lot and so things were kind of
slipping backwards and Macintosh was you
saw the 1984 commercial but I hope you
have that in your archives
you know Macintosh was basically this
this relatively small company you know
in Cupertino California taking on the
Goliath IBM and saying wait a minute
your way is wrong this is not the way we
want computers to go this is not the
legacy we want to leave this is not what
we want our kids to be learning this is
wrong and we are going to show you the
right way to do it and here it is it’s
called Macintosh and this is so much
better that it’s gonna beat you and we
are gonna do it and that’s what Apple
stood for they work to your potential
not your quota if you want to stay
really motivated if you want to answer
the question – why people that have
already made it keep pushing it is
because they don’t operate on quotas
they operate off potential they’re
driven to reach their potential this is
also tied to their ethical obligation
they know what they’re capable of
nobody can tell you what you’re capable
of you’re the only one that knows ok
so work to your potential not your quota
quotas are numbers
who made them up some guy says ok your
quota is blah blah ok based on what how
do you come up with that quota he only
picked that quota that number because he
thinks is significant are compared to
other people maybe in your industry
look don’t operate on quotas you want
them clearly you want them but you want
to be driven to reach your potential not
just some numbers some mechanics hey my
potential I know nobody else knows that
I know what it is you know yours work to
your potential not just a quota and I
promise you you will be on fire day and
night
your values and your goals should be
aligned they should not be adversarial
they shouldn’t be countered to each
other and if you think about what your
goals are your goals should be set up in
a way that they support your values and
vice versa that’s just the way it is so
I’m not sure where this is gonna be an
issue if you’re setting up goals that
are contrary to your values you’ve got
some issues now I guess if you had the
goal of winning the blue belt jiu-jitsu
championships and in order to win you
you cheated like you claimed someone was
reaping your leg and use it all you tap
and you get the guide to qualified and
you win that’s could be an example right
yeah now do I support that no you know
that’s wrong you you go in against the
values of actually the values of martial
arts to do that so you didn’t win
anything and you didn’t achieve your
goal because you weren’t actually the
best so I say no on that one uh another
one let’s say you wanted to make a
certain level of profit at your company
so you cheated a little bit on the
quality of the manufacturing and you
sold items that weren’t quite reliable
do I support that no right for animal
and why let me tell you why because your
goal your goal is not even aligned with
your goal itself because when you start
making substandard manufactured items
what’s gonna happen in the long run keep
I’m gonna say we don’t like these yeah
we’re not gonna buy them anymore so you
didn’t win you might have wanted the
short term but you didn’t win and and
again you’re going against your value
you should have values that you don’t
want to you know take profit over making
good product and again in the long run
that value is gonna cost you right
people aren’t gonna want to buy your
product anymore it’s only one way to get
rich and that’s quick that’s not a
get-rich-quick scheme though makes the
world’s too expensive to get rich slow
and what I mean by getting rich quick is
that there are certain things you have
to know on the inner game of wealth how
you manage your emotional state your
beliefs your standards your focus in the
outer game entrepreneurship sales
marketing how to develop multiple
streams of income once you it takes time
that’s where the hard works a lot of
work those into getting this lined up
and that lined up but once you have it
all wanted then we’ve done the work then
you can make money very very quickly so
it’s not a scheme but you got to get
rich quick and you have to put the work
in I say if you don’t wanna work hard
good luck I mean I don’t know any rich
people it don’t work really really hard
that’s the bottom line so hard work and
knowing that knowing stuff skills you
know again when you get rich it happens
quickly but there’s a lot of work that
goes up to that point before the money
starts pouring and that’s the
distinction that I think a lot of people
who are not wealthy they don’t get that
they think that it’s you accumulate
money a little bit at a time it doesn’t
work that way you work work work don’t
get the resultant BAM one last piece of
the puzzle clicks in whether it’s not
knowing how to close and all happens I
spoke at an education summit for
Microsoft I also spoke at an education
summit for education from Mike at the
education summit for Microsoft I would
say that 70% of the executives spent
about 70% of their presentations talking
about how to beat Apple at the Apple
education summit a hundred percent of
the executives spent a hundred percent
of their presentations talking about how
to help teachers teach and how to help
students learn one is playing this way
and one is playing that way one is
playing finite and the other one is
playing infinite guess which one gets
frustrated so at the end of my talk at
Microsoft they gave me a gift they gave
me the news Zune when it was a thing and
let me tell you this thing was
spectacular
it was the most elegant piece of
technology I’d ever used the user
interface was incredible the design was
spectacular I absolutely loved it
it was easy to use and it was bright and
gorgeous and it didn’t work on iTunes
which is a different problem so I
couldn’t use it but but it was amazing
and elegant by God it was elegant
so I’m sitting in the back of a taxi
with a very senior Apple executive sort
of employee number 12 kind of guy and
you know I like to stir pots so I turned
him I said you know Microsoft gave me
their new Zune and it is so much better
than your iPod touch
and he turned to me and he said I have
no tab conversation over because the
infinite player understands sometimes
your head and sometimes your behind
sometimes your product is better and
sometimes it’s worse the goal isn’t to
be the best every day the goal isn’t out
to outdo your competition every day
that’s a finite construction if I had
said to Microsoft I’ve got the new iPod
touch and it’s so much better than your
Zune they would have said can we see it
what does it do react react react react
finite players play to be bet to beat
the people around them infinite players
play to be better than themselves to
wake up every single day and say how can
we make our company a better version of
itself today than it was yesterday how
can we create a product this week that’s
better than the product we created last
week we also have to play the infinite
game it’s not about being ranked number
one it’s not about having more followers
on Twitter than your friends it’s not
about outdoing anyone it’s about how to
outdo yourself it’s not about selling
more books or getting more ten views
than somebody else it’s about how to
make sure that the work that you’re
producing is better than the work you
produced before you are your competition
and that is what ensures you stay in the
game the longest and that is what
ensures you find joy because the joy
comes not from comparison but from
advancement
if you think you’re going to be a lot
happier if you’ve got to X instead of X
you’re probably making a mistake I mean
it yeah you oughta you ought to find
something you like
that’s that works with that and it and
you know get in trouble if if you think
that making 10 extra 20 X is the answer
to everything in life because then you
will do things like borrow money when
you should endure or maybe cut corners
on things that your boy wants you to cut
corners on ER it just doesn’t make any
sense you won’t like it when you look
back on it happen free things
and hiring people look for integrity
intelligence and energy and he said if a
person didn’t have the first two that
the latter two would kill him because if
they don’t have integrity you want to be
dumb and lazy you don’t want them smart
and energetic all of those liabilities
that they talked about started turning
into assets when it had Conan the
Barbarian the director came to me and he
said if we wouldn’t have you people
don’t have to build one and then
Terminator the director said I couldn’t
imagine to have anyone pre-terminated it
wouldn’t have an accent
they wouldn’t have your body I cannot
imagine the line I’ll be back with a
normal American accent it works so
perfectly then you have this German
accent so all of those things that they
say the liabilities became an asset the
moment as moment went on they grew and
grew and I went from one movie to the
next so they’re making more and more
money and then an aunt ended up being
the highest-paid actor with 30 million
dollars and Terminator 3 I directed like
music videos before for the Foo Fighters
and in it’s I mean it’s easy I honestly
I honestly believe that if you’re if
you’re focused and passionate and driven
you can achieve anything you want to
achieve in life because I honestly
believe that because you’ll figure it
out you know what I mean so I never took
lessons to play the drums I just
figured it out Ben I never took lessons
to play guitar maybe a few but I just
listen to Beatles records you know and
so but I would listen to it I would
listen and were in practice by myself in
my bedroom obsessively and so throughout
life I’ve always kind of figured that
that’s just how you do stuff like if you
have a natural inclination and a real
like drive to do something that you can
figure it out well now that we can see
how short life really can be what are
you gonna do with the rest of your life
that’s the biggest trigger that I have
ever experienced what are you gonna do
the rest of your life and what I had to
do is I had to start taking some of my
own advice I have been telling people I
had written about it for a very long
time that if you’re doing something that
you’re not totally committed to if
you’re doing something that you’re not
totally passionate about you’re
compromising yourself every day it’s
very easy to mistake an impulse that
comes to you for some deeper answer that
comes out of the stillness and so in any
decision-making process you have
basically two factors well most people
only have you have the information
that’s available to you and so make sure
that you you have the information that
of all the facts that you need sometimes
before making a decision you may have a
few a number of facts and sometimes
these facts may not be sufficient so
then you go within and see what
questions can you can ask in order to
elicit more facts or information from
whoever is capable of giving to you that
information this I’m talking very
general terms whether you’re in business
or wherever you are or some personal
decision that you need to arrive at me
on one level facts are need to be looked
at what is the situation and sometimes
the facts are not clear enough or you
are not enough facts and you become
stale and see what questions you can ask
somebody may be able to supply more
detailed facts but you know order to ask
the right question you already need a
moment of stillness so this you may not
immediately get an answer through
stillness the first step as you become
alert and still is
another question what a very important
thing in decision-making process is not
to come up with a decision but to ask
the right question that can elicit what
you need in order to arrive at a
decision and in order to ask the right
question there needs to be that alert
stillness for moment and in that alert
stillness you kind of listen within and
then a question comes this is I often
when somebody they call me and say we’ve
had they saw that offered somebody wants
you to do this somebody wants you to do
that interview somebody wants to that
and very often I don’t immediately say
yes or no I usually come up with a few
questions
what in addition to the information that
they gave me well what about that and
that and that and then say oh okay I’ll
get back to you I’ll find out then they
call again then I know a bit more and
sometimes on the basis of the factual
information you already know whether you
want to do it or not you more easily
know that you don’t want to do it just
by looking at the facts stay in front of
the competition because there’s two ways
ins industry you you move with it or it
moves you and I’ve seen so many sad
stories across the decade
where chefs have just got lazy got lazy
given up and lost that hunger to become
because it’s the best job in the world
that’s not really a job it’s a passion
because when you’re rubbing shoulders
and here we are now ten years later and
I’ve got a restaurant next door to Jamie
Oliver’s and we’re both literally two
meters apart phenomenal chef and we keep
each other on our toes
so that’s exciting for me and that’s
been the one key issue across the ten
years of filming Kitchen Nightmares
never ever ever give up my advice would
be the same for any kind of entrepreneur
and that is make sure that you are
focused on something you’re passionate
about so if you look at the early
internet companies they were started and
focused on doing something that they
thought was very interesting long before
the internet was fashionable in anyway
you know I I you know we are currently
an underdog once again we’ve been in
business for six years and there was
exactly one year where we were not the
underdog and that was 1999 I like the
the underdog years because it makes you
know I liked it when all the people we
hired their parents told them they were
crazy like that was the that was kind of
the good era fortunately it’s back in
1999 all the parents were like you know
given their brothers and sisters high
fives you know my son is working at
amazon.com so that’s a very you can’t
follow the fashion when you’re trying to
do a startup company or I think really
anything in life but you have to as an
entrepreneur if you’re gonna if you’re
gonna build a company pick something you
think is interesting that has the
intersection of genuinely creating real
customer value and then just stay right
there and let the weight of catch you
you can spend your whole life imagining
ghosts worrying about the pathway to the
future but all there will ever be is
what’s happening here in the decisions
we make in this moment which are based
in either love or fear so many of us
choose our path out of fear disguised as
what we really want seems impossibly out
of reach and ridiculous to expect so we
never dare to ask the universe for it
I’m saying I’m the proof that you can
ask the universe for it please and if it
doesn’t happen for you right away it’s
only because the universe is so busy
my father could have been a great
comedian but he didn’t believe that that
was possible for him and so he made a
conservative choice instead he got a
safe job as an accountant and when I was
12 years old he was let go from that
safe job and our family had to do
whatever we could to survive I learned
many great lessons from my father not
the least of which was that you can fail
at what you don’t want so you might as
well take a chance on doing what you
love so many people put me down and say
Nick you look too weird and no one’s
really offended you can’t do this and
you can’t do that and I couldn’t change
anything I it’s not like it’s fixing my
hair one day and everything’s fine it’s
not like you know just whatever I
couldn’t change my circumstance I could
have just one day wake up and say hey
give me arms legs I need arms legs yeah
I mean like I went to a bodybuilder you
know and said can you make me some arms
and legs so Jackie buddy bill do you get
it right hey you know I got to be able
can you give me a hand you know just
joking him but it was so hard because
people put me down and I started
believing that I was not good enough I
started believing that I was a failure
they’ll never ever be somebody who
people would like or people would accept
and it was so hard man I thought to
myself I you know I can’t go on to go
into the soccer field with like
everybody else and I can’t ride my bike
and I can’t skateboard and all these
sort of things and I started getting
depressed I thought what kind of purpose
do I have to live I mean do you are you
just here to live to die I mean is there
not a purpose for me is there not a
purpose in life and I had questions and
no answers and I asked my mom and dad
why did this happen I asked doctors why
did this happen they don’t know there
are some things in life that are out of
your control that you can’t change and
you got to live with the choice that we
have though is either to give up or keep
on going
I want to ask you what are you gonna
believe are you gonna believe in
yourself you’re gonna believe everybody
else’s judgement on you are you gonna
believe people when they say that you’re
a failure no one really likes you no one
really cares about you it’s not really
to say that hey you need someone to come
up and say hey really I I like you I
care about you no it’s not that but it’s
the fact that people put you down people
don’t even look you in the eye people
ask you how you why and you say fine but
you’re not fine and they’ll know don’t
ever know that I’ve never actually
thought I was you know starting a
company as such I just saw situations as
I traveled in life where I felt I could
improve on the way things were being
done by other people so yeah so favorite
phrases is screw it let’s do it
I’ve used that phrase a lot of times and
we’ve and and we’ve you know we just
love going in and trying to shake up
industries and doing it better than it’s
been done before because all the time
why well I hate to say it the best way
for me to get how I feel across I can’t
see and say you know what I went through
hell week and man it was it was really
hard no that takes your damn soul rips
it inside out and then they say now
we’re going to start it it allows me to
express where I was at at a point of my
life if I don’t give you all of me why
the hell am I here
why how will you learn from me people
take so much offense to me you will
never learn from people if we always
tap-dance around the truth oh god I love
that we tap-dance around the truth by
finding the right words I don’t hurt you
because you have thin skin no tighten up
people it’s okay
trust me it’s okay you might be called
nigger one day
it’s okay you might be called some
Jewish word or some faggot or gay word
it’s okay let them call you that what
are you going to do now they don’t own
your life how are you going to control
that now how are you going to flip it
upside down and say Roger that now
harnesses and you read about me years
from now how that’s the question how are
you gonna do that thicken your skin
become more of a human being don’t be
afraid of the reflection in the mirror
because that’s all you can be afraid of
once you overcome the reflection in the
mirror you’ve done it
ideas are worth nothing I mean ideas are
really they’re not a dime a dozen
they’re just nothing
all the good founders I know even the
bad founders can come up with ideas all
day long it doesn’t mean anything you
have to be able to execute and you know
one of the sort of Maxim’s that I was
told once was you know your success will
be measuring the number of uncomfortable
conversations you’re willing to have so
I think it asked if an entrepreneur
should say start a business based on one
of their passions or if they should find
the most attractive market opportunity
and build a business out of that whether
they like it or not I don’t think it’s
either/or I think you need both I would
say look here in credit card statement
identify where you spend an unusual
percentage of your income where are you
price insensitive then how old are you
what gender are you where do you live
and design a product that has all of
those things intersecting tend to be
incredibly modest in terms of describing
your talents and you you always seem to
belittle your your abilities to a
certain extent when clearly there
there’s a reason why this everything you
do has been working out I was reading
about how you said that to a certain
extent that comes from your your punk
rock roots yep there’s no other choice
in those days there’s no idea of this
makes money there’s no idea like this is
my future it was like a week at a time
they have five shows we’re gonna get to
Sunday and even those days were like
fraught with turbulence and so I never
really saw a future none of us did and
some of us you know didn’t make it some
of them are dead and some of them are
just kind of trying to recreate their
past and so I realized that I have to be
very hardworking because I don’t have
kind of the ease of talent and I come
from that and I think
you know a lot of ways that served me
very well in that I am as kind of
hard-working as I’ve ever been
completely on without confidence and I
have none I don’t I don’t want any
because I think you turn your back on
the thing and that’s when you get gored
is when you think I got this I never
think I got this I think oh man don’t
screw this up and I go at everything
like including you and I sitting here
right now I’m trying to be fully engaged
and that intensity I think has served me
quite well but it comes from punk rock
absolutely last boss I ever had was my
boss at haagen-dazs I my ice cream shop
and to this day he still comes to my
shows and whenever I see Steve who got
me my first apartment who believed I was
living in my car he believed in me
whenever I see him I get all weepy hey
it’s good to see you sir Henry you can
call me Steve I can’t do that sir
because because he trusted me with his
money and and I said let me run your
store I know how to do this I can do
this he’s like well if you screw up
you’re out of here I said I won’t screw
up when I end up being I ran a store and
so um it would but it was anger that
said I’ll be here all damn week I’ll get
this whole thing right I fired his staff
and rehired a bunch of people can really
work and it’s it went out of anger
like I’ll be back in four hours to run
this $3 and 75 cent an hour job into the
ground and then I joined Black Flag and
I thought I was a hardworking person
then you meet the guys in Black Flag who
are so driven you’d see Greg Ginn work
23 hour days like Greg you’re still on
the phone I know Greg 1 when did you eat
I don’t know Greg when those last time
you showered do we have a shower like
the guy we were not gonna be stopped and
I kind of go at that intensity
what kind of anything I do like you’re
very calm good-looking young man look at
me I’m a spaz sitting next to you like
I’m doing an interview with you focus
I’m sweating ma’am it’s so
but I’d like it’s going to the airport
like ten miles out and so it’s but it’s
anger that has informed kind of my life
and unflatteringly a sense of vengeance
every damn person who said I wouldn’t be
anything I’m crushing them every day
everybody I had to endure in any band I
was in everyday into a powder yeah thank
you and I wish them no ill I just wish
to shine brighter and if it burns my
body to a crisp
I’m happy to go right now there are some
mountains that can be climbed to by
people like you and me we got to get a
little bit better condition but I mean
it’s not like the mountain climber
mountains that would be way beyond our
skill level but but but some of these
mountains that can be climbing you and
me that it takes a day to get to the top
and then that you just camp up there and
you come in and down the next day and on
many of these places where in
Switzerland where you could do that
about halfway up the mountain is what
they call the halfway house halfway
house halfway up the mountain so the
group of people starts off with a guide
in the morning and about noon you’re
kind of tired you’ve been walking now
for four or five hours and here comes
that you’re coming up to the halfway
house that is just a it’s a wonderful
sight because as soon as you enter in
the halfway house you can smell the food
and they’re they’re getting ready for a
good lunch and you sit down there’s a
fire in the fireplace and there’s nice
soft chairs and you can just rest your
body and refresh your body and and so
the people go into the halfway house and
they eat and laugh and enjoy and and
just really really just kind of take in
that that wonderful refreshing
atmosphere about an hour and a half
after being the halfway house the guide
gets up to this will gang it’s time to
put on your gear we we got a hike we got
to get on up to the top
this is a fact about half the people
decide not to go on up to the time
they’re sitting around the table in
there and just say you know what go on
up you’re gonna be come by here tomorrow
gonna be having lunch here again
tomorrow we’re just gonna hang here and
and so the people that want to get to
the top they put their stuff on and they
kind of leave and the rest of the people
sit behind they you know eat a little
bit more food get around the piano sing
some songs get around the fireplace
enjoy the fire warn themselves by the
fire no I’ve played games all afternoon
kind of enjoy themselves but about 4:30
chordal 5:00 in the afternoon without
anybody saying a word the people who
stayed in a halfway house they slowly go
over to where the window is the big
window and they start looking outside
and they start looking up at the top of
that mountain and as they look at the
top of that mountain
they see their friends their friends are
now getting the tents out and they’re
getting ready to prepare for the night
and it becomes very quiet very somber
because everybody in the halfway house
realizes the mistake they’ve made
they’ve they’ve they’ve they’ve sold
their mission for a little bit of
comfort for a few hours next morning
down come their friends and by noon they
come into the halfway house when they
come in the halfway they are laughing
they’re high-fiving they’re talking
about what they’ve seen where they’ve
been experiences the fact that it was
almost impossible to get up there in
fact they had to help each other get up
there and how they join teams and held
hands and and they just telling all
these stories and talk about the
pictures they’ve taken and they yeah
they got the group picture up there with
the flag at the top and the people who
remain behind
it’ll say much they just eat their lunch
and then follow the rest of them down to
the bottom of the hill where their
friends are waiting for them and those
who paid the price and went to the top
who understood now is the time to reach
the mission they hug can tell stories
and celebrate and the others they just
kind of slip off and get in the car and
go home
because they realize they’re never going
to be what they wanted to be they’re
never gonna see what they wanted to see
they’re never gonna do what they wanted
to do because they failed to realize
whether if the halfway house now is the
time to rest and they go on you have to
realize that whatever your day is
whatever you’re doing whatever your job
is whatever people think of you or
project you to be none of it matters
really until you look round and see
people who who were in need and I think
the probably the best finit benefit of
my job is to to help to make people
smile who otherwise wouldn’t or couldn’t
have a smile on their face so yeah
that’s my ideal somebody said to you
you’ll have or you’ll be as successful
as you are now what have you had said
back then I believe you that’s what I
would have said because I they believed
I believed any thought I had very few
people who told me that I had a small
small small group of people that would
tell me something like that order than
that it was just me telling myself yeah
so if someone came up to me and told me
that all the way back then I’d say
you’re damn right one of the things
that’s really interesting about the old
testament is that and the Jews in the
Old Testament is that they don’t take
the path of
kein every time they’re walloped by god
which is like fairly frequently they say
we must have done something wrong and we
have to set herself right and that’s a
an unbelievably heroic attitude because
that’s the alternative to cursing fate
it’s like you take the responsibility
for failure unto yourself and you think
well if I was just maybe if I just had
my act together a little bit more if I
took advantage of every opportunity that
was put in front of me if I wasn’t
resentful and bitter then I could have
done something that would have tilted
the situation in a different direction
and like that’s almost inevitably true
Dostoevsky I think said something like
every man is responsible for everything
that happens to him and everything that
happens to everyone else and that’s you
know that that’s that’s a guy it’s a
crazy statement right it’s a crazy
statement and he was a pretty extreme
person in many many ways but there’s a
level at which that’s metaphysically
true you know because what happens is
that it’s you its failure to act often
that’s the most catastrophic you know I
mean I’ve it’s it’s it’s to not do the
right thing when the when the situation
presents itself and it’s very specific
you know you’re constantly in situations
where you could do the right thing if
you were willing to take a risk that’s
actually a relatively moderate size and
you know that you could take the risk
and you know that you should take the
risk and you don’t and that happens to
people all the time and then what
happens is the thing that they didn’t
oppose grows a little bit and they
shrink a little bit and that starts a
loop hey enough enough like living by
somebody else’s rules is a humongous
mistake I just literally sat down with
five people under the age of twenty
seven and it’s so refreshing it is so
refreshing if you have not jumped on the
bandwagon of doing exactly what the you
want to do which is skiing for the next
three years or working at a job that’s
not what your parents want or what
society wants this video is just called
enough enough make this little in one
two minute video depends on when I
the piece of content that gets you to
stand up and take life by its throat do
something stopping scared stop letting
the way you were raised the fear as an
offense take that away let me be the
person I’ll take the blame I loved that
some of my plays are like my parents
don’t love what you’re saying good
parents because if you are playing
defense and if you are living a life
where your kids lives are the way you’re
being fulfilled you’re a loser
parents and so enough enough parents
imposing their way you want your kids to
be happy on your terms enough the kid
that’s sitting right now at a desk and
saw this in a feed and you hate your job
enough stand up get the out of here and
do you live your life you’ve got one
life do something about it
would it come through on your word it
allows the guys that you’re leading male
or female to be able to say okay we can
follow this person because he won’t let
us down
you know for me as the leader of our
franchise and the leader of my household
and a leader of so many you know
different different things I think it’s
the confidence but it’s also you
practicing what you preach I’m not a guy
who just talks about I actually go out
and do it as well from a basketball
perspective or from from a leadership
perspective or my kids in my foundation
you know we have a promise initiative
where they promised me that they will go
to school there was a city teachers
they’d be great to their classmates and
I promised them that I will continue to
be a great role model a father figure
for them and and not let those guys down
so I take that responsibility and I
don’t just talk about I actually do it
as well so were you able to come through
on your word it allows the guys that
you’re leading male or female to be able
to say okay we can follow this person
because he won’t let us down no matter
if it’s no matter if it’s going good or
bad you know every day is not a bed of
roses we understand that and you have to
be able to hand adversity as well there
is an advantage to being what I like to
call now hardcore hardcore I don’t know
quite how to describe it it’s a
combination of tenacious and dedicated
and
passionate and committed something like
that hardcore I learned about being
hardcore from math concentrators at
Harvard I’m not gonna ask whether we
have any math concentrators here but I
would say that’s where I got kind of my
lesson
I mean people could just go crazy
focused not it wasn’t just the people
were genius but working and working and
working and working
you know I’d sit in my room working on a
problem set after three hours I’m a
little ad D I just couldn’t take it the
most hardcore people could just power
through anything and the advantage of
being that tenacious and dedicated and
committed I claim it helped us at
Microsoft it’s fundamental at Microsoft
but I learned it here at heart how much
of your your training is dedicated to
visualization fighting it there is a big
science behind it I believe I’m I’m I’m
champion not because I’m the strongest
guy that’s because also on the more
skill guy I’m very skilled I’m very
strong I’m very athletic I’m fast but I
think the reason why I’m champion is my
mind but the way I’m very good to using
my skills to neutralize my opponent
skill and make the fight turning to
putting the odds on my side I think there’s a key
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