I chose the major of communication after
a year in exploratory studies mostly
explaining to people that it has nothing
to do with Dora the Explorer and taking
the occasional personality inventory I
didn’t choose it for the illustrious
career opportunities but because in
reality I was still undecided and I knew
that communication would help me no
matter what I ended up pursuing so I
stuck it out and here at the end of it I
can say that that was true it hasn’t
just prepared me for a career but it’s
prepared me for life and one of the most
important things that I’ve learned along
the way is the value of time I want to
challenge you to really think how you
will spend your time after you graduate
we live in a society that will ask you
to put out maximum results in minimum
time people are always trying to make
new formulas and inventions to speed
things up and apply efficiency to every
area of our lives
one author realized how pressed for time
parents are these days and wrote a book
called 1-minute bedtime stories one
minute
what kind of a story can you tell in one
minute maybe one just long enough to
check that activity off the to-do list
that’s what our society has come to this
busyness is also drastically changing
our communication hence the extreme
popularity of social media we replace
face-to-face encounters with texting and
Facebook we replace in-depth
conversations with short tweets and
posts we spend less time with our family
and friends now I used to think that
success in life and relationships was
about talent but I’ve discovered that
it’s really about time with time you can
learn to do anything and you can build
trust with anybody but you really have
to put the effort in there’s no app for
good relationships someone told me once
that people don’t care how much you know
until they know how much you care so
even though we’re all soon gonna have
college diplomas things aren’t simply
going to be handed to us because of our
knowledge we have to earn people’s
respect by showing them that we care
think about your time as an investment
it’s not something to be simply wasted
but something that will yield results
depending on how you use it it’s
valuable and when used to enrich the
lives of others the return will be
incredible don’t just spend time with
your friends invest time with them
nothing beats your undistracted
attention into someone else’s life to
break through the surface and really get
to know them a man named Jim Eliot once
said wherever you are be all there he
meant that it’s okay to be doing just
one thing at a time and to concentrate
on just the people who are in the room
with you and he lived before Angry Birds
in Temple Run so his words are even more
striking today and I know some people
are probably playing that in the crowd
right now probably my brother-in-law
despite what it seems everyone still has
the same amount of hours in a day as
they did in use past but we continually
find more ways to use our time while
trying to find more ways to save it you
see you can’t actually save time you can
just find different ways to spend it so
when you say you don’t have time to do
something you’re really saying that
you’re using your time for other things
one cool thing about time is that it
continues on at the same pace despite
how busy we get maybe we need to make
our pace steadier and enjoy the present
moments instead of always worrying about
the future
I found a music analogy and I like it
because I’m a band nerd but I think you
might like it too in a piece of music
there are notes which make the melody
and then there are rests in between all
the notes without the rests the notes
would be all jumbled up and smashed
together and we wouldn’t know what’s
going on but put in their proper places
the notes stand out and create something
memorable
so as we manage our schedules constantly
spinning the plates of our many
commitments it’s easy to book ourselves
completely full
whether it’s with fun stuff or just
mandatory activities but what we often
miss is the critical aspect of rest we
need time to think to be alone to dream
it’s the rest in our lives that make the
notes even more beautiful
so fellow classmates of 2012 my hope for
us is that we won’t sacrifice good
relationships for more relationships I
hope that we don’t sacrifice making a
difference in someone’s life for making
our quota at work
remember that your love for someone
can’t be summed up in 140 characters or
less
it can’t be fully captured in an
Instagram or posted on a timeline I’ll
end with another quote from Jim Elliot
and this was a man who was killed while
trying to reach out to a native tribe in
Ecuador she said he is no fool who gives
what he cannot keep to gain that which
he cannot lose so step back and think
about what you really don’t want to lose
because opportunities will come and go
but some relationships will last a
lifetime
thank you
[Applause]
there was a day that I became wealthy
I’ll take me a day I know that day I was
rich I was broke I was pissed I was
angry at everybody else but who myself
but really underneath that I was mad at
myself
I just couldn’t beat myself up anymore
sus pissed and I had a friend that I
loaned money to when I had barely enough
and I knew he needed it and I gave him
$1,200 and I’m here not able to eat I’m
down to like 25 26 dollars and I’m sandy
him calling him and he’s not returning
my call and I just need some money he’s
ignoring me I didn’t mean Norman so I’m
pissed I’m frustrated the midst of all
this I’m also pragmatic I got 25 and
change called $26 what the hell am I
gonna do I don’t have any plans for
economics I got over it that’s crazy I’m
living this little tiny apartment for
Ana’s graffities California so I thought
okay when I was totally broke earlier on
when I’m 17 I used to save my money up
and go to the smorgasbord and load up
for a Christmas you know load up for the
week so I said I was in Venice I’m gonna
go over to Marina del Rey where all the
yachts are in this place they’re called
El Torito and I’m gonna go they have an
all-you-can-eat smorgasbord I’m gonna
load up for the winter I’m gonna get
them so I didn’t drive there because I
wasn’t in the gas to get there plus I
need the walk so I walked in and I go in
I’m not dressed really great but Moreno
Reyes okay and I got a place right by
the window I can see these shots went by
and I’m dreaming of what life could be
like and I’m starting to let go of my
anger and I’m starting to start focus on
what I want instead of what I don’t want
I’m I’ve always say I and that shifted
me just a bit and now I’m eating was
shifted me a lot and I got this giant
plate stacked up and I don’t
but now it was like level 695 795 right
so I’m gonna do this I can probably do
this three or four times right somewhere
that rank as I’m finishing my meal this
little boy comes in dressed in a little
suit I honestly don’t know how old he be
probably in the third grade so maybe
eight years old nine years old something
like that and he was so adorable and he
opened the door for his mother as mine
was attractive lady and he came over he
pull out the seat for and she sat down
and I was she was a pretty lady but as
finished she was I was totally obsessed
by this boy he was just he had presence
at seven or eight years old and it moved
me I don’t know why I just it moved me
and I thought this kid is like pure he’s
I wanted to always be this way he’s such
a good kid he’s a giver so I got up and
I paid for the meal and whatever it was
six seven bucks so now I’ve got whatever
left 17 18 19 dollars and I walk up to
some boy and I said excuse me and I said
I just want to acknowledge you for being
such an extraordinary gentleman I said I
saw the way you treated your lady how
you open the door how you pulled the
chair out
I said that’s class I said my name’s
Tony what’s yours
they don’t honest members named Charlie
or something and he looked up at me and
I said charlie I said that’s amazing
taking your date up for a lunch like
this
he goes well actually she’s my mom and I
said that’s even more cool and I said he
said oh but I I’m not taking a lunch cuz
I’m just I think he said it was eight I
said oh yes you are
I had no plan for this there’s reach in
my pocket I took all the money I had
left seventeen eighty ninety dollars and
I put on the table I said you’re taking
her to lunch he looked up at me and he
goes I can’t take that
I said sure he can he said why because
I’m bigger than you are
and he smiled real big and I didn’t even
look at his mom I just turned and walked
away
and I didn’t walk out of that door flew
home I should have been freaking out how
am I gonna eat but I didn’t I
flew because something inside of me had
finally got past scarcity and finally
realized there’s something inside of us
more than our limits especially on this
thing called money that I had let
terrorize me I got home and the mailman
came that day and I had no idea I was
gonna have my next meal
and if bladder comes and it’s from the
guy I loaned the money to handwritten
notes saying I’ve been avoiding you it’s
wrong I’m so sorry you were there when I
needed you here’s what I owe you plus a
little bit more and the 12-under was
there plus another hundred for the time
that I had to take care of and for me
thirteen or dollars that was enough to
like run my show for a month or two and
I cried and then I decided what does
this mean I thought this means that
whenever you give it’s always gonna come
back so you don’t have to ever think
about that but again just give and the
rewards be great and you can ever
imagine I don’t know if that’s
coincidence but I decided to believe
that day was the blessing when I became
rich and I can tell you honestly I’ve
had tough days in my life economically
emotionally like all of us but I’ve
never gone back to the scarcity I never
will the secret to living is giving do
it when you don’t have it can I promise
you
there’s nothing more pitiful to my mind
that the person who wastes his life
running from one thing to another
forever looking for the pot of gold at
the end of the rainbow and they were
staying with one thing long enough to
find it no matter what your goal may be
perhaps the road to it can be found in
the very thing in which you’re now
engaged you see the average man believes
some businesses are better than others
instead of realizing the truth that
there are no bad businesses there are
just those people who don’t know enough
to see the opportunities and the work
they’re in no matter what our work
happens to be it’s our business we’re
the manager if there seems to be no
future or opportunity in it it isn’t
always because it’s not there but
perhaps only because we can’t see it
[Music]
started to pay very careful attention to
what I was saying I don’t know if that
happened voluntarily or involuntarily
but I could feel a sort of split
developing in my psyche and the split
and I’ve actually had students tell me
the same thing that has happened to them
after they’ve listened to some of the
material that that I’ve been describing
to all of you but I split into two let’s
say and one part was the let’s say the
old me that was talking a lot and that
liked to argue and that liked ideas and
there was another part that was watching
that part like just with its eyes open
and neutrally judging and the part that
was neutrally judging was watching the
part that was talking and going that
isn’t your idea you don’t really believe
that you don’t really know what you’re
talking about
that isn’t true and I thought hmm that’s
really interesting so now I’ve and that
was happening to like 95% of what I was
saying and so then I didn’t really know
what to do I thought okay this is
strange so maybe I’ve fragmented and
that’s just not a good thing at all I
mean it wasn’t like I was hearing voices
or anything like that I mean it wasn’t
like that
it was it was well people have multiple
parts so then I had a with this weird
conundrum it’s like well which of those
two things are me is it the part that’s
listening and saying no that’s rubbish
that’s a lie that’s you’re doing that to
impress people you’re just trying to win
the argument you know was that me or was
the part that was going about my normal
verbal business me and I didn’t know but
I decided I would go with the critic and
then what I tried to do what I learned
to do I think was to stop saying things
that made me weak
and now that I mean I’m still trying to
do that because I’m always feeling when
I talk whether or not the words that I’m
saying are either making me align or
making me come apart and I think the
alignment I really do think the
alignment is I think alignment is the
right way of conceptualizing it because
I think if you say things that are as
true as you can say them let’s say then
they come up they come out of the depths
inside of you because we don’t know
where thoughts come from we don’t know
how far down into your sub structure the
thoughts emerge we don’t know what
processes of physiological alignment are
necessary for you to speak from the core
of your being we don’t understand any of
that we don’t even conceptualize that
but I believe that you can feel that and
I learned some of that from reading Carl
Rogers by the way who’s a great
clinician because he talked about mental
health in part as the coherence between
the spiritual or the or the abstract of
the physical that the two things were
aligned and and there’s a lot of idea of
alignment in psychoanalytic and clinical
thinking but anyways I decided that I
would start practicing not saying things
that would make me weak and what
happened was that I had to stop saying
almost everything that I was saying I
would say 95% of it as a hell of a shark
to wake up and I mean this was over a
few months but it’s a hell of a shark to
wake up and realize that you’re mostly
dead wood it’s a shark
you know and you might think well do you
really want all of that to burn off it’s
like well there’s nothing left but a
little hast 5% of you it’s like well if
that 5% is
solid then maybe that’s exactly what you
want to have happen so many of one of
the first ones I think was probably just
a Korean when my mom and my dad i ported
father’s but i was a powerful woman so
she kicked my father out whose name i
carry and he adopted me and when he went
out she decided to listen inside so she
kicked me out too by chasing out with a
knife and I wasn’t worried she’s gonna
stab me or anything but I decided this
is freedom I’ve got to find a way to
make my life work but I had no money out
of 1960 Volkswagen I worked 40 dollars a
week as a janitor to buy and pay for and
so I had no car and no money I don’t
know anything
I went slept in a person’s laundry room
and then I decided I’ve got to figure
out what to do with I needed to feed my
money because I was so depressed I was
so overwhelmed I’m missing my brother
and sister and feeling just completely
out of sorts so I I got on the bus and I
traveled 14 miles a member because I
needed were running at one time and I
watched this book store and I bought
this book called the magic of believing
my quad head crystals the first real
book other than maybe thinking go rich
or Emerson’s essays and I started on
this journey of saying every single day
I’m gonna feed my mind I’m not going to
hope the thoughts show up I’m gonna read
biographies I’m gonna I’m gonna find out
what makes people tick I’m gonna
understand what makes me tick and I
wanted to read a book a day but I didn’t
do that
click to the speed reading class and I
read seven books over seven years and
they’re all personal development human
development psychology physiology and
what I try to do is take anything that I
learned and apply it and then when I
applied it and you know I was 5-1 in my
sophomore in high school on six seven
now I thought people differences
personal growth
but sincerely I I became mr. solution
because I wanted to help everybody so I
was this little fat guy and I couldn’t
lose weight and I lost weight all my
buddies are like how’d you do that I
said well here’s what I did they lost
weight then we all got girls and as a
young kid you know that led to where you
know if you have a problem I was mr.
solution specially if your girl has more
motivated energy so the breakthrough was
really understanding the power of
compressing decades ended days if
someone has spent decades of their life
and then compress it into a book and you
can read it in an hour or a few days you
have such an advantage when you learn by
your own experience it’s painful and
it’s slow when you learn about other
people’s experience everybody knows in
the financial world other people’s money
is leveraged right well other people’s
experience is more powerful than other
people’s money
because you can have the money and lose
it but if you give the experience you
can change it all so I think that was
the beginning for me and it sent me on a
wife long path of hunger and I’ve never
none of us would want to work for a
company or invest our money in a company
that didn’t have a very viable
restriction developer department that is
pumping a good percentage of its profits
back into research and development
because its future depends on it
but so does immense and you might ask
yourself how much of your own take-home
pay have you spent during the past year
for materials calculated to make you
smarter this year than you were a year
before calculated to make you a little
better a little bigger as a human being
there perhaps have loved a little more
and hate a little less and do a little
better job than you did a year ago how
much money are you pumping back into
yourself in your future
so we’re thinking about plan a life
you’d like to have and and you do that
partly by referring to social norms
that’s more or less rescuing your father
from the belly of the whale but the way
other way you do that is by having a
little conversation with yourself about
as if you don’t really know who you are
because you know what you’re like you
won’t do what you’re told you won’t do
what you tell yourself to do you must
have noticed that it’s like you’re a bad
employee and a worse boss and both of
those work you know for you you don’t
know what you want to do and then when
you tell yourself what to do you don’t
do it anyways you should fire yourself
and find someone else to beat but but
you know what my point is is that you
have to understand that you’re not your
own servant so to speak you’re someone
that you have to negotiate with and
that’s and you’re someone that you want
to present the opportunity of having a
good life to and that’s hard for people
because they don’t like themselves very
much so you know they’re always like
cracking the whip and then
procrastinating and cracking the whip
and then procrastinating and it’s like
god it’s so boring and such a pathetic
our rewards in life will always match
our service it’s another way of saying
as you sow so shall you reap
and it’s been written in many ways in
every language on earth I like to think
of this law in the form of a giant
apothecary scale one of the bowls is
marked service the other slot rewards
now whatever we put into the ball marked
service the world will match in the ball
marked rewards if any person alive is
discontented with his rewards he should
examine the service action reaction as
she sow so shall you reap
what you put in will determine what you
must get back in return so simple so
basic so true and yes so misunderstood
if a business is not expanding to the
quick and exciting temple of the times
it must examine its contribution its
service if a person is unhappy with his
income he must examine and re-evaluate
his service never before in the history
of the world have human beings been so
interdependent it is impossible to live
without serving others as it would be
the liveth others were not constantly
serving us in thinking of ways of
increasing your service reading books on
your specialty read what others have
found to work well for them but at the
same time think of original and creative
ways of increasing your service ways
that are unique with you and the way you
are each morning and during the day ask
yourself this question how can I
increase my service today
knowing that my rewards in life must be
an exact proportion to my service I do
this every day and you will have started
to form one of life’s most valuable
habits Horace Mann wrote if any man
seeks for greatness let him forget
greatness and ask for truth and you’ll
find both you see you can cut away all
the confusion and complications and
nagging worries and
have formed fears by returning to the
great truth the great laws they made
verities on which all success all
accomplishment the whole world is built
if you’re worried about your income or
your future you’re concentrating on the
wrong end of the scale look at the other
end concern yourself only with
increasing your service with becoming
great where you are and your income and
if you configure your life so that what
you are genuinely doing is aiming at the
highest possible good then the things
that you need to to survive and to
thrive on a day to day basis will
deliver themselves to you that’s a
hypothesis and it’s not some simple
hypothesis right because it what it
basically says is if you dare to do the
most difficult thing that you can
conceptualize your life will work out
better than it will if you do anything
else well how are you gonna find out if
that’s true well it’s a Kierkegaard Ian
leap of faith there’s no way you’re
gonna find out whether or not that’s
true unless you do it so no one no one
can tell you either because just because
it works for someone else I mean that’s
interesting and all that but it’s no
proof that it’ll work for you you have
to be all-in in this game there is no
more effective way of operating in the
world than to conceptualize the highest
good that you can and then strive to
attain it there’s no more practical
pathway to the kind of success that you
could have if you actually knew what
success was the world shifts itself
around your aim does you’re a creature
that has a name you have to have a name
in order to do something you’re an
aiming creature you look at a point and
you move towards it it’s built right
into you and so you have a name well
let’s say your aim is the highest
possible aim well then so that sets up
the world around you it organizes all of
your perceptions it organizes what you
see and you don’t see it organizes your
emotions and your motivations so you
organize yourself around that aim and
then what happens is the day manifests
itself as a set of
challenges and problems and if you solve
them properly then you stay on the
pathway towards that aid and you can
concentrate on the on the eight on the
day and so that way you get to have your
cake and eat it too because you can you
can point into the distance the far
distance and you can live in the day and
it seems to me that that’s that makes
every moment of the day supercharged
with meaning that that’s how because if
everything that you’re doing everyday is
related to the highest possible aim that
you can conceptualize well that’s the
very definition of the meaning that
would sustain you in your life never
give up without commitment
you’ll never start but more importantly
without consistency you’ll never finish
it’s not easy
if it was easy there’d be no Kerry
Washington
if it was easy there’d be no taraji
Henson peep ensign if it were easy
there’d be no Octavia Spencer but not
only that if it were easy there’d be no
Viola Davis it more easy there’d be no
Michael T Williamson no Stephen McKinley
Henderson no Russell Hornsby it more
easy there’d be no Denzel Washington so
keep working keep striving never give up
eze is a greater threat to progress than
hardship most people have a belief about
what their real potential is no matter
what you tell them and that affects how
much action they take and of course that
affects the result and then ironically
that result reinforces their belief and
then that belief affects it so I’ll give
an example let’s say a person has
unlimited potential we all agree but
they take little action little results
why cuz they have to start with a
problem with their belief they don’t
believe it’s really gonna happen for me
maybe for Frank Kern’s cuz it got the
cool hair and stuff or maybe it’s for
you because you’re so driven but it’s
not me maybe Tony Robbins cuz she’s a
freak got these big teeth whatever their
process is right they got this
thing right but what happens is if you
believe that there’s very little
potential how much actually gonna take
and when you take a little potential
with a little action what kind of
results you get lousy little results
when you have little results what does
that do to your belief you go see I told
you this was a waste of time soldier
this wouldn’t work and then what happens
you tap even less potential you take
even less actually even the worst
results and your belief gets even weaker
and this sucker feeds on itself until
you are in a downward spiral poisonous
it’s poisonous and it’s self fulfilling
now what if something could happen that
could come along and fill you with a
sense of absolute certainty not like I
believed but me well you know and you
guys this case mine as well we knew
because we had to because we burned the
boats there was no other option we had
to find the way we had we weren’t gonna
live that way we all did it in different
ways and for different reasons but in
that sense that was it if you get
yourself in a state of certainty that
this is gonna work I’m gonna find the
way and if this is work I will make the
way then you tap a lot more potential
than when you’re certain your potential
you take massive action when you take
massive action you really believe in
something you get great results when you
get great results your brain go see I
told you I was a stud I told you this
thing would work out now you even strong
you tap more potential take greater
action be results that’s how you went
from 300 bucks in a week to 2500 five
to a hundred thousand and a month to a
million bucks in a day same thing with
you and we get momentum so why the rich
get richer the poor get poorer now some
people go out and they go well I’m gonna
take a bunch of action all right I’m
gonna open this product gonna try it
they’ll say to you I even did it but
it’s like the salesman who goes and
knocks on the door he knocks on a
hundred doors and says verbally his face
says it because he doesn’t believe it’s
gonna work
so his voice his body the execution is
so weak maybe if he talks a hundred
people so he’s gonna buy out of pity I’m
gonna win his kids to starve right but
he’s not gonna get the result so the
core difference in people is how do you
produce certain day when the world isn’t
giving it to you you go out and try and
you’re trying your case you’re a hundred
thousand a debt nothing’s working how do
you keep yourself going the way you did
it the way I did it the way you’re doing
it we mean I’ve done it consciously is
we didn’t change our potential that was
there and it wasn’t even taking more
action taking more action with beliefs
not gonna works not gonna change
anything we got results in our head that
made us feel certain as if it had
already happened
I want to recommend that you take just
one hour a day five days a week
exercising your mind you can regularly
count and during this hour every day
take a completely blank sheet of paper
at the top of the page write your
present primary goal clearly simply then
since our future depends upon the way in
which we handle our work write down as
many ideas as you can for improving that
would you now do try to think of 20
possible ways in which the activity that
serves your day can be improved you
won’t always get 20 but even one ideas
good now remember two important points
with regard to this one this is not
particularly easy to
most of your ideas won’t be any good now
when I say it’s not easy I mean it’s
like starting I mean you have it at
first you find you mind a little
reluctant to be holed up and out of the
old familiar rent but as you think about
your work and ways in which it might be
improved write down every idea that pops
into your mind no matter how absurd it
might seem let me tell you what happened
some of your ideas will be good and
worth testing
the most important thing this X our
compasses however is that it deeply
embedded your goal in your subconscious
mind stops all vital machinery working
and twenty ideas a day is if you come up
with that many total a hundred a week
even if you don’t think on weekends an
hour a day five days a week tolls 260
hours a year and still leaves you three
thousand seven hundred and forty hours
of free leisure time but this means
you’ll be thinking about your goal and
ways of improving our performance
increasing your service six I have extra
working weeks a year six minute 40 hour
weeks devoted to thinking and planning
can you see how easy it is to rise above
the so-called competition and will still
leave you with 15 hours a day the
spending players starting each day
thinking you’ll find that your mind will
continue to work all day long you’ll
find it at odd moments when you least
expect it really great ideas will begin
to pop into your mind and when they do
write them down as soon as you can just
one great idea can completely
revolutionize your work and as a result
your life [Music]
a year in exploratory studies mostly
explaining to people that it has nothing
to do with Dora the Explorer and taking
the occasional personality inventory I
didn’t choose it for the illustrious
career opportunities but because in
reality I was still undecided and I knew
that communication would help me no
matter what I ended up pursuing so I
stuck it out and here at the end of it I
can say that that was true it hasn’t
just prepared me for a career but it’s
prepared me for life and one of the most
important things that I’ve learned along
the way is the value of time I want to
challenge you to really think how you
will spend your time after you graduate
we live in a society that will ask you
to put out maximum results in minimum
time people are always trying to make
new formulas and inventions to speed
things up and apply efficiency to every
area of our lives
one author realized how pressed for time
parents are these days and wrote a book
called 1-minute bedtime stories one
minute
what kind of a story can you tell in one
minute maybe one just long enough to
check that activity off the to-do list
that’s what our society has come to this
busyness is also drastically changing
our communication hence the extreme
popularity of social media we replace
face-to-face encounters with texting and
Facebook we replace in-depth
conversations with short tweets and
posts we spend less time with our family
and friends now I used to think that
success in life and relationships was
about talent but I’ve discovered that
it’s really about time with time you can
learn to do anything and you can build
trust with anybody but you really have
to put the effort in there’s no app for
good relationships someone told me once
that people don’t care how much you know
until they know how much you care so
even though we’re all soon gonna have
college diplomas things aren’t simply
going to be handed to us because of our
knowledge we have to earn people’s
respect by showing them that we care
think about your time as an investment
it’s not something to be simply wasted
but something that will yield results
depending on how you use it it’s
valuable and when used to enrich the
lives of others the return will be
incredible don’t just spend time with
your friends invest time with them
nothing beats your undistracted
attention into someone else’s life to
break through the surface and really get
to know them a man named Jim Eliot once
said wherever you are be all there he
meant that it’s okay to be doing just
one thing at a time and to concentrate
on just the people who are in the room
with you and he lived before Angry Birds
in Temple Run so his words are even more
striking today and I know some people
are probably playing that in the crowd
right now probably my brother-in-law
despite what it seems everyone still has
the same amount of hours in a day as
they did in use past but we continually
find more ways to use our time while
trying to find more ways to save it you
see you can’t actually save time you can
just find different ways to spend it so
when you say you don’t have time to do
something you’re really saying that
you’re using your time for other things
one cool thing about time is that it
continues on at the same pace despite
how busy we get maybe we need to make
our pace steadier and enjoy the present
moments instead of always worrying about
the future
I found a music analogy and I like it
because I’m a band nerd but I think you
might like it too in a piece of music
there are notes which make the melody
and then there are rests in between all
the notes without the rests the notes
would be all jumbled up and smashed
together and we wouldn’t know what’s
going on but put in their proper places
the notes stand out and create something
memorable
so as we manage our schedules constantly
spinning the plates of our many
commitments it’s easy to book ourselves
completely full
whether it’s with fun stuff or just
mandatory activities but what we often
miss is the critical aspect of rest we
need time to think to be alone to dream
it’s the rest in our lives that make the
notes even more beautiful
so fellow classmates of 2012 my hope for
us is that we won’t sacrifice good
relationships for more relationships I
hope that we don’t sacrifice making a
difference in someone’s life for making
our quota at work
remember that your love for someone
can’t be summed up in 140 characters or
less
it can’t be fully captured in an
Instagram or posted on a timeline I’ll
end with another quote from Jim Elliot
and this was a man who was killed while
trying to reach out to a native tribe in
Ecuador she said he is no fool who gives
what he cannot keep to gain that which
he cannot lose so step back and think
about what you really don’t want to lose
because opportunities will come and go
but some relationships will last a
lifetime
thank you
[Applause]
there was a day that I became wealthy
I’ll take me a day I know that day I was
rich I was broke I was pissed I was
angry at everybody else but who myself
but really underneath that I was mad at
myself
I just couldn’t beat myself up anymore
sus pissed and I had a friend that I
loaned money to when I had barely enough
and I knew he needed it and I gave him
$1,200 and I’m here not able to eat I’m
down to like 25 26 dollars and I’m sandy
him calling him and he’s not returning
my call and I just need some money he’s
ignoring me I didn’t mean Norman so I’m
pissed I’m frustrated the midst of all
this I’m also pragmatic I got 25 and
change called $26 what the hell am I
gonna do I don’t have any plans for
economics I got over it that’s crazy I’m
living this little tiny apartment for
Ana’s graffities California so I thought
okay when I was totally broke earlier on
when I’m 17 I used to save my money up
and go to the smorgasbord and load up
for a Christmas you know load up for the
week so I said I was in Venice I’m gonna
go over to Marina del Rey where all the
yachts are in this place they’re called
El Torito and I’m gonna go they have an
all-you-can-eat smorgasbord I’m gonna
load up for the winter I’m gonna get
them so I didn’t drive there because I
wasn’t in the gas to get there plus I
need the walk so I walked in and I go in
I’m not dressed really great but Moreno
Reyes okay and I got a place right by
the window I can see these shots went by
and I’m dreaming of what life could be
like and I’m starting to let go of my
anger and I’m starting to start focus on
what I want instead of what I don’t want
I’m I’ve always say I and that shifted
me just a bit and now I’m eating was
shifted me a lot and I got this giant
plate stacked up and I don’t
but now it was like level 695 795 right
so I’m gonna do this I can probably do
this three or four times right somewhere
that rank as I’m finishing my meal this
little boy comes in dressed in a little
suit I honestly don’t know how old he be
probably in the third grade so maybe
eight years old nine years old something
like that and he was so adorable and he
opened the door for his mother as mine
was attractive lady and he came over he
pull out the seat for and she sat down
and I was she was a pretty lady but as
finished she was I was totally obsessed
by this boy he was just he had presence
at seven or eight years old and it moved
me I don’t know why I just it moved me
and I thought this kid is like pure he’s
I wanted to always be this way he’s such
a good kid he’s a giver so I got up and
I paid for the meal and whatever it was
six seven bucks so now I’ve got whatever
left 17 18 19 dollars and I walk up to
some boy and I said excuse me and I said
I just want to acknowledge you for being
such an extraordinary gentleman I said I
saw the way you treated your lady how
you open the door how you pulled the
chair out
I said that’s class I said my name’s
Tony what’s yours
they don’t honest members named Charlie
or something and he looked up at me and
I said charlie I said that’s amazing
taking your date up for a lunch like
this
he goes well actually she’s my mom and I
said that’s even more cool and I said he
said oh but I I’m not taking a lunch cuz
I’m just I think he said it was eight I
said oh yes you are
I had no plan for this there’s reach in
my pocket I took all the money I had
left seventeen eighty ninety dollars and
I put on the table I said you’re taking
her to lunch he looked up at me and he
goes I can’t take that
I said sure he can he said why because
I’m bigger than you are
and he smiled real big and I didn’t even
look at his mom I just turned and walked
away
and I didn’t walk out of that door flew
home I should have been freaking out how
am I gonna eat but I didn’t I
flew because something inside of me had
finally got past scarcity and finally
realized there’s something inside of us
more than our limits especially on this
thing called money that I had let
terrorize me I got home and the mailman
came that day and I had no idea I was
gonna have my next meal
and if bladder comes and it’s from the
guy I loaned the money to handwritten
notes saying I’ve been avoiding you it’s
wrong I’m so sorry you were there when I
needed you here’s what I owe you plus a
little bit more and the 12-under was
there plus another hundred for the time
that I had to take care of and for me
thirteen or dollars that was enough to
like run my show for a month or two and
I cried and then I decided what does
this mean I thought this means that
whenever you give it’s always gonna come
back so you don’t have to ever think
about that but again just give and the
rewards be great and you can ever
imagine I don’t know if that’s
coincidence but I decided to believe
that day was the blessing when I became
rich and I can tell you honestly I’ve
had tough days in my life economically
emotionally like all of us but I’ve
never gone back to the scarcity I never
will the secret to living is giving do
it when you don’t have it can I promise
you
there’s nothing more pitiful to my mind
that the person who wastes his life
running from one thing to another
forever looking for the pot of gold at
the end of the rainbow and they were
staying with one thing long enough to
find it no matter what your goal may be
perhaps the road to it can be found in
the very thing in which you’re now
engaged you see the average man believes
some businesses are better than others
instead of realizing the truth that
there are no bad businesses there are
just those people who don’t know enough
to see the opportunities and the work
they’re in no matter what our work
happens to be it’s our business we’re
the manager if there seems to be no
future or opportunity in it it isn’t
always because it’s not there but
perhaps only because we can’t see it
[Music]
started to pay very careful attention to
what I was saying I don’t know if that
happened voluntarily or involuntarily
but I could feel a sort of split
developing in my psyche and the split
and I’ve actually had students tell me
the same thing that has happened to them
after they’ve listened to some of the
material that that I’ve been describing
to all of you but I split into two let’s
say and one part was the let’s say the
old me that was talking a lot and that
liked to argue and that liked ideas and
there was another part that was watching
that part like just with its eyes open
and neutrally judging and the part that
was neutrally judging was watching the
part that was talking and going that
isn’t your idea you don’t really believe
that you don’t really know what you’re
talking about
that isn’t true and I thought hmm that’s
really interesting so now I’ve and that
was happening to like 95% of what I was
saying and so then I didn’t really know
what to do I thought okay this is
strange so maybe I’ve fragmented and
that’s just not a good thing at all I
mean it wasn’t like I was hearing voices
or anything like that I mean it wasn’t
like that
it was it was well people have multiple
parts so then I had a with this weird
conundrum it’s like well which of those
two things are me is it the part that’s
listening and saying no that’s rubbish
that’s a lie that’s you’re doing that to
impress people you’re just trying to win
the argument you know was that me or was
the part that was going about my normal
verbal business me and I didn’t know but
I decided I would go with the critic and
then what I tried to do what I learned
to do I think was to stop saying things
that made me weak
and now that I mean I’m still trying to
do that because I’m always feeling when
I talk whether or not the words that I’m
saying are either making me align or
making me come apart and I think the
alignment I really do think the
alignment is I think alignment is the
right way of conceptualizing it because
I think if you say things that are as
true as you can say them let’s say then
they come up they come out of the depths
inside of you because we don’t know
where thoughts come from we don’t know
how far down into your sub structure the
thoughts emerge we don’t know what
processes of physiological alignment are
necessary for you to speak from the core
of your being we don’t understand any of
that we don’t even conceptualize that
but I believe that you can feel that and
I learned some of that from reading Carl
Rogers by the way who’s a great
clinician because he talked about mental
health in part as the coherence between
the spiritual or the or the abstract of
the physical that the two things were
aligned and and there’s a lot of idea of
alignment in psychoanalytic and clinical
thinking but anyways I decided that I
would start practicing not saying things
that would make me weak and what
happened was that I had to stop saying
almost everything that I was saying I
would say 95% of it as a hell of a shark
to wake up and I mean this was over a
few months but it’s a hell of a shark to
wake up and realize that you’re mostly
dead wood it’s a shark
you know and you might think well do you
really want all of that to burn off it’s
like well there’s nothing left but a
little hast 5% of you it’s like well if
that 5% is
solid then maybe that’s exactly what you
want to have happen so many of one of
the first ones I think was probably just
a Korean when my mom and my dad i ported
father’s but i was a powerful woman so
she kicked my father out whose name i
carry and he adopted me and when he went
out she decided to listen inside so she
kicked me out too by chasing out with a
knife and I wasn’t worried she’s gonna
stab me or anything but I decided this
is freedom I’ve got to find a way to
make my life work but I had no money out
of 1960 Volkswagen I worked 40 dollars a
week as a janitor to buy and pay for and
so I had no car and no money I don’t
know anything
I went slept in a person’s laundry room
and then I decided I’ve got to figure
out what to do with I needed to feed my
money because I was so depressed I was
so overwhelmed I’m missing my brother
and sister and feeling just completely
out of sorts so I I got on the bus and I
traveled 14 miles a member because I
needed were running at one time and I
watched this book store and I bought
this book called the magic of believing
my quad head crystals the first real
book other than maybe thinking go rich
or Emerson’s essays and I started on
this journey of saying every single day
I’m gonna feed my mind I’m not going to
hope the thoughts show up I’m gonna read
biographies I’m gonna I’m gonna find out
what makes people tick I’m gonna
understand what makes me tick and I
wanted to read a book a day but I didn’t
do that
click to the speed reading class and I
read seven books over seven years and
they’re all personal development human
development psychology physiology and
what I try to do is take anything that I
learned and apply it and then when I
applied it and you know I was 5-1 in my
sophomore in high school on six seven
now I thought people differences
personal growth
but sincerely I I became mr. solution
because I wanted to help everybody so I
was this little fat guy and I couldn’t
lose weight and I lost weight all my
buddies are like how’d you do that I
said well here’s what I did they lost
weight then we all got girls and as a
young kid you know that led to where you
know if you have a problem I was mr.
solution specially if your girl has more
motivated energy so the breakthrough was
really understanding the power of
compressing decades ended days if
someone has spent decades of their life
and then compress it into a book and you
can read it in an hour or a few days you
have such an advantage when you learn by
your own experience it’s painful and
it’s slow when you learn about other
people’s experience everybody knows in
the financial world other people’s money
is leveraged right well other people’s
experience is more powerful than other
people’s money
because you can have the money and lose
it but if you give the experience you
can change it all so I think that was
the beginning for me and it sent me on a
wife long path of hunger and I’ve never
none of us would want to work for a
company or invest our money in a company
that didn’t have a very viable
restriction developer department that is
pumping a good percentage of its profits
back into research and development
because its future depends on it
but so does immense and you might ask
yourself how much of your own take-home
pay have you spent during the past year
for materials calculated to make you
smarter this year than you were a year
before calculated to make you a little
better a little bigger as a human being
there perhaps have loved a little more
and hate a little less and do a little
better job than you did a year ago how
much money are you pumping back into
yourself in your future
so we’re thinking about plan a life
you’d like to have and and you do that
partly by referring to social norms
that’s more or less rescuing your father
from the belly of the whale but the way
other way you do that is by having a
little conversation with yourself about
as if you don’t really know who you are
because you know what you’re like you
won’t do what you’re told you won’t do
what you tell yourself to do you must
have noticed that it’s like you’re a bad
employee and a worse boss and both of
those work you know for you you don’t
know what you want to do and then when
you tell yourself what to do you don’t
do it anyways you should fire yourself
and find someone else to beat but but
you know what my point is is that you
have to understand that you’re not your
own servant so to speak you’re someone
that you have to negotiate with and
that’s and you’re someone that you want
to present the opportunity of having a
good life to and that’s hard for people
because they don’t like themselves very
much so you know they’re always like
cracking the whip and then
procrastinating and cracking the whip
and then procrastinating and it’s like
god it’s so boring and such a pathetic
our rewards in life will always match
our service it’s another way of saying
as you sow so shall you reap
and it’s been written in many ways in
every language on earth I like to think
of this law in the form of a giant
apothecary scale one of the bowls is
marked service the other slot rewards
now whatever we put into the ball marked
service the world will match in the ball
marked rewards if any person alive is
discontented with his rewards he should
examine the service action reaction as
she sow so shall you reap
what you put in will determine what you
must get back in return so simple so
basic so true and yes so misunderstood
if a business is not expanding to the
quick and exciting temple of the times
it must examine its contribution its
service if a person is unhappy with his
income he must examine and re-evaluate
his service never before in the history
of the world have human beings been so
interdependent it is impossible to live
without serving others as it would be
the liveth others were not constantly
serving us in thinking of ways of
increasing your service reading books on
your specialty read what others have
found to work well for them but at the
same time think of original and creative
ways of increasing your service ways
that are unique with you and the way you
are each morning and during the day ask
yourself this question how can I
increase my service today
knowing that my rewards in life must be
an exact proportion to my service I do
this every day and you will have started
to form one of life’s most valuable
habits Horace Mann wrote if any man
seeks for greatness let him forget
greatness and ask for truth and you’ll
find both you see you can cut away all
the confusion and complications and
nagging worries and
have formed fears by returning to the
great truth the great laws they made
verities on which all success all
accomplishment the whole world is built
if you’re worried about your income or
your future you’re concentrating on the
wrong end of the scale look at the other
end concern yourself only with
increasing your service with becoming
great where you are and your income and
if you configure your life so that what
you are genuinely doing is aiming at the
highest possible good then the things
that you need to to survive and to
thrive on a day to day basis will
deliver themselves to you that’s a
hypothesis and it’s not some simple
hypothesis right because it what it
basically says is if you dare to do the
most difficult thing that you can
conceptualize your life will work out
better than it will if you do anything
else well how are you gonna find out if
that’s true well it’s a Kierkegaard Ian
leap of faith there’s no way you’re
gonna find out whether or not that’s
true unless you do it so no one no one
can tell you either because just because
it works for someone else I mean that’s
interesting and all that but it’s no
proof that it’ll work for you you have
to be all-in in this game there is no
more effective way of operating in the
world than to conceptualize the highest
good that you can and then strive to
attain it there’s no more practical
pathway to the kind of success that you
could have if you actually knew what
success was the world shifts itself
around your aim does you’re a creature
that has a name you have to have a name
in order to do something you’re an
aiming creature you look at a point and
you move towards it it’s built right
into you and so you have a name well
let’s say your aim is the highest
possible aim well then so that sets up
the world around you it organizes all of
your perceptions it organizes what you
see and you don’t see it organizes your
emotions and your motivations so you
organize yourself around that aim and
then what happens is the day manifests
itself as a set of
challenges and problems and if you solve
them properly then you stay on the
pathway towards that aid and you can
concentrate on the on the eight on the
day and so that way you get to have your
cake and eat it too because you can you
can point into the distance the far
distance and you can live in the day and
it seems to me that that’s that makes
every moment of the day supercharged
with meaning that that’s how because if
everything that you’re doing everyday is
related to the highest possible aim that
you can conceptualize well that’s the
very definition of the meaning that
would sustain you in your life never
give up without commitment
you’ll never start but more importantly
without consistency you’ll never finish
it’s not easy
if it was easy there’d be no Kerry
Washington
if it was easy there’d be no taraji
Henson peep ensign if it were easy
there’d be no Octavia Spencer but not
only that if it were easy there’d be no
Viola Davis it more easy there’d be no
Michael T Williamson no Stephen McKinley
Henderson no Russell Hornsby it more
easy there’d be no Denzel Washington so
keep working keep striving never give up
eze is a greater threat to progress than
hardship most people have a belief about
what their real potential is no matter
what you tell them and that affects how
much action they take and of course that
affects the result and then ironically
that result reinforces their belief and
then that belief affects it so I’ll give
an example let’s say a person has
unlimited potential we all agree but
they take little action little results
why cuz they have to start with a
problem with their belief they don’t
believe it’s really gonna happen for me
maybe for Frank Kern’s cuz it got the
cool hair and stuff or maybe it’s for
you because you’re so driven but it’s
not me maybe Tony Robbins cuz she’s a
freak got these big teeth whatever their
process is right they got this
thing right but what happens is if you
believe that there’s very little
potential how much actually gonna take
and when you take a little potential
with a little action what kind of
results you get lousy little results
when you have little results what does
that do to your belief you go see I told
you this was a waste of time soldier
this wouldn’t work and then what happens
you tap even less potential you take
even less actually even the worst
results and your belief gets even weaker
and this sucker feeds on itself until
you are in a downward spiral poisonous
it’s poisonous and it’s self fulfilling
now what if something could happen that
could come along and fill you with a
sense of absolute certainty not like I
believed but me well you know and you
guys this case mine as well we knew
because we had to because we burned the
boats there was no other option we had
to find the way we had we weren’t gonna
live that way we all did it in different
ways and for different reasons but in
that sense that was it if you get
yourself in a state of certainty that
this is gonna work I’m gonna find the
way and if this is work I will make the
way then you tap a lot more potential
than when you’re certain your potential
you take massive action when you take
massive action you really believe in
something you get great results when you
get great results your brain go see I
told you I was a stud I told you this
thing would work out now you even strong
you tap more potential take greater
action be results that’s how you went
from 300 bucks in a week to 2500 five
to a hundred thousand and a month to a
million bucks in a day same thing with
you and we get momentum so why the rich
get richer the poor get poorer now some
people go out and they go well I’m gonna
take a bunch of action all right I’m
gonna open this product gonna try it
they’ll say to you I even did it but
it’s like the salesman who goes and
knocks on the door he knocks on a
hundred doors and says verbally his face
says it because he doesn’t believe it’s
gonna work
so his voice his body the execution is
so weak maybe if he talks a hundred
people so he’s gonna buy out of pity I’m
gonna win his kids to starve right but
he’s not gonna get the result so the
core difference in people is how do you
produce certain day when the world isn’t
giving it to you you go out and try and
you’re trying your case you’re a hundred
thousand a debt nothing’s working how do
you keep yourself going the way you did
it the way I did it the way you’re doing
it we mean I’ve done it consciously is
we didn’t change our potential that was
there and it wasn’t even taking more
action taking more action with beliefs
not gonna works not gonna change
anything we got results in our head that
made us feel certain as if it had
already happened
I want to recommend that you take just
one hour a day five days a week
exercising your mind you can regularly
count and during this hour every day
take a completely blank sheet of paper
at the top of the page write your
present primary goal clearly simply then
since our future depends upon the way in
which we handle our work write down as
many ideas as you can for improving that
would you now do try to think of 20
possible ways in which the activity that
serves your day can be improved you
won’t always get 20 but even one ideas
good now remember two important points
with regard to this one this is not
particularly easy to
most of your ideas won’t be any good now
when I say it’s not easy I mean it’s
like starting I mean you have it at
first you find you mind a little
reluctant to be holed up and out of the
old familiar rent but as you think about
your work and ways in which it might be
improved write down every idea that pops
into your mind no matter how absurd it
might seem let me tell you what happened
some of your ideas will be good and
worth testing
the most important thing this X our
compasses however is that it deeply
embedded your goal in your subconscious
mind stops all vital machinery working
and twenty ideas a day is if you come up
with that many total a hundred a week
even if you don’t think on weekends an
hour a day five days a week tolls 260
hours a year and still leaves you three
thousand seven hundred and forty hours
of free leisure time but this means
you’ll be thinking about your goal and
ways of improving our performance
increasing your service six I have extra
working weeks a year six minute 40 hour
weeks devoted to thinking and planning
can you see how easy it is to rise above
the so-called competition and will still
leave you with 15 hours a day the
spending players starting each day
thinking you’ll find that your mind will
continue to work all day long you’ll
find it at odd moments when you least
expect it really great ideas will begin
to pop into your mind and when they do
write them down as soon as you can just
one great idea can completely
revolutionize your work and as a result
your life [Music]
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