the thing that’s gonna kill your dream
is your addiction to other people’s
approval
I let myself sort of feel the pain and
the difficulty of being not where I want
to be in whatever that area when I was
really coming up in business I went so
broke that powers turned off you know
the phone’s turned off I had my wife’s
car got repoed need motivation watch a
top ten with believe nation what’s that
believe nation it seven I believe in you
and this channel is designed to be a
part of your daily success routine so
let’s get your motivation to attend and
get you believing in you grab a snack
and join today’s lessons from Amane who
went from growing up in a middle-class
family to building a super successful
financial services company and being
considered one of the best motivational
speakers in the world he’s ed my let and
here’s my take on his top ten rules to
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one take control of the script of your
life you ever go to the movies at the
end of the movie they scroll down like
the leading characters names and then
what do they do if you keep watching it
cab driver number two bouncer at the bar
number one you ever see those faceless
people far too many of you in your life
are obsessed with what cab driver number
two and bouncer number one think about
what you’re doing instead of the lead
characters you’re obsessed with other
people think about you the thing that’s
gonna kill your dream is your addiction
to other people’s approval and cab
driver number two he ain’t gonna prove
of what you doing at the end of your
damn life he’s not gonna show up in any
of the important chapters yeah you give
him all this power all the time
stop giving people power who aren’t in
your book do your life for the leading
character you your spouse your children
your parents your legacy they’re the
lead characters in the story of you of
your life because the more you decide to
take control of the narrative of the
script of your life and you live your
dream the more likely at the end of your
life you’re gonna meet that dude rule
number two be fueled by pain there’s a
Malcolm X quote they don’t really like
ya tell me what it is and why it’s so
powerful that which you do not hate you
will eventually tolerate and I think
that identifies most people’s lives in
other words they average becomes sort of
like this slow asphyxiation it’s almost
like an anesthetic and that over time
would become kind of immune and dulled
to the average that we’re becoming I
know this is true at least for me you
probably experienced it yourself too and
so over time we sort of minimize where
we’re at in other words I’m a little
pudgy instead of being know your fat ass
right you know you don’t magnify the
degree to which the pain ought to be
affecting you and so really what he
means on that is listen you’re gonna get
out of your life what you’ll accept
that’s really difficult for people I
think to understand is look what you
think you’re worth and what you’re gonna
tolerate is absolutely what you’re gonna
bring into your life and what the
outward part of your life is gonna look
like and so I live by that like I let
myself sort of feel the pain and the
difficulty of being not where I want to
be in whatever that areas were those
would be my spirituality my
relationships my money I let myself feel
that pain
as you know there’s two motivators right
there’s the gaining of pleasure right
wanting to go get something chasing the
dream but then there’s the avoidance of
pain and for a lot of champions that’s a
pretty big driving force for them and so
at least for me I ever egde both of
those things on me to get myself to take
action rule number three stop worrying
what others think trying to prove people
wrong or write about you is a cheap
level of motivation and it will wear out
in other words it’s not and it’s not the
lack of it it’s just it’s not the best
type people say well hey Tom Brady six
round draft pick I mean he’s constantly
trying to prove him that they picked the
wrong guys I know Tommy a little bit and
I can tell you that motivates him but if
you think he’s become the greatest
football player of all time because he’s
trying to prove people from 20 years ago
wrong about where he was drafted you
don’t get elite performance Tom Brady is
where he is because he sets standards
for himself and has massive goals and
ambitions for himself not to prove other
people wrong I promise you when he’s
sitting under Center in the Super Bowl
he’s not going I was a six round draft
pick that’s not what moves him yeah and
so I think it’s low level motivation I
do it too and the sooner you drop it’s
it’s a it’s the symptom of the same
disease right so proving your family
wrong or right is the symptom of the
same disease which is you are still
obsessed with what other people are
thinking about you and not doing things
that make you happy that enrich you to
fulfill your soul and so the irony about
spending your life worrying about what
everybody else thinks about you here’s
the irony is that those people will
never be thought about after they’re
dead so they spend their life obsessing
with everyone thinks about them only to
die and have no one ever remember them
because people that are so obsessed with
what other people think about them never
really ever fulfill their potential so
once you can drop that addiction whether
it’s friends strangers or your parents
and you begin to do things that fulfill
you that make you happy yeah that change
other people’s lives by your
contribution now you can be remembered
now you’re your life that goes into
eternity even if it was a quiet life
rule number four always give your all I
remember going all the work I put into
this all the hopes my family and I had
all the travel ball all everything we
did all the games all the great plays
all the errors I made the fly ball I’d
dropped
you know all that stuff I was gonna get
drafted then I did all that stuff right
the guys I played with over like a
flicker man like a flicker that crap was
over and we’re on that bus ride back and
I remember thinking man I should have
tried harder I should have played harder
I should have given this more you know
that stuff guys do man you’re running
sprits there’s two dudes who run every
sprint full-speed and then there’s a
dudes who run 80% six of them you know
exactly what I’m talking about right
he’s kind of cool you know it doesn’t
matter not the fastest guy so no one
will know when I don’t win the Sprint’s
you know those guys you know exactly
what I’m talking about right this guy
kind of doesn’t really catch the ball on
his throwing side in the outfield he’s
where he catches it over it does
everything wrong throws it back that’s
the thing that costs a guy getting
thrown out at third and you lose by a
run because you just practiced like that
guy in the bullpen it’s kind of like not
really focused you just gotta get in
loose right instead of just laser
focused on everything he’s doing all the
time right you don’t want to leave here
you don’t want it to end whether it ends
in the big leagues
it ends in the minor leagues it ends
here or you never even get on the field
this year okay having wondered whether
you gave it all you got because it’s
gonna transfer into the man you become
when you leave here and most important
is gonna be your identity when you get
tired when you get fatigued when you get
down when you’re in a slump
it’s your habits rituals routines and
your standards that carry you through
and if you don’t have good habits you
don’t have good rituals so you don’t
have good routines always in your life
you will fall down and bad times and
slumps and fatigue and stress rule
number five bring real value to people
the reason that I think my stuff has
grown and I’m not trying to be
braggadocious in this regard my contents
good like my content and stuff that
could really affect you and change you
I’m not gonna tell you 1,100 times that
gets you money I’m not gonna tell you to
be kind 1,100 times and just repeat
myself or binary and all this stuff the
guys is keep repeating themselves it’s
just it’s mindless information I don’t
even understand how they have following
to be honest with you it’s like I’ve
heard you say this same thing 2,000
different times whereas I’m trying to
keep my content fresh relevant
inspirational but also strategic that’s
not knocking people just I think but you
this very well but if you’re gonna be in
this space really bring value to people
you know I mean if people gonna follow
you give them value and inspiration for
the the privilege of them following you
so I feel an obligation to try to create
stuff daily when I can to move someone’s
life forward rule number six overcome
difficulties when I was really coming up
in business I went so broke that powers
turned off you know the phone’s turned
off I had my wife’s car got repoed you
can have all that happen to you but what
you don’t want ever happened this have
your water turned off and I had the
water turned off in our apartment right
when we were newlyweds and I just
remember the shame of every morning
getting up with her we’d have to walk
down the stairs to the pool outdoors and
take our shower brush our teeth in that
outdoor shower then grab our stuff up
I’d walk my new bride up to our
apartment and it was just shameful for
me you know and so I’m grateful to live
here and this it sounds corny but I just
tell you the honest-to-god truth it’s
not every single morning but there are
many mornings when I pull the faucet in
the shower and the water hits me and I’m
that’s where the gratitude hits me like
it’s got my water not just the ocean
back there but just literally that you
know I know what that’s like to be
scared I wasn’t just broke I was scared
rule number seven work out I think
everything in our lives starts with our
body if you’re a person of faith you
believe that’s where your soul is housed
right and so it’s the you you do
emotions you don’t just feel them you do
them in other words and you know this
from things you’ve learned in your life
but like joy is an actual action not
just an emotion we feel a certain joy a
certain breathing a certain movement in
our body depression and sadness is
something we do were more hunched over
our breathing is more shallow right and
so there’s a correlation between the way
you move your body and your emotions
they’re directly this is even before we
get to dopamine hits and our nervous
system being I’m just telling you that
the way you move your body is an emotion
you do emotions and so when you move
your body you can’t be in full workout
mode moving your body running walking
jumping jacks jump rope and be depressed
they don’t go together summit is because
your body doesn’t get the connection I’m
moving like I’m joyful I’m moving like
I’m having sex I’m moving like I’m happy
these are all joyful states you can’t be
depressed simultaneously so the quickest
way to change our behavior our emotion
in our state is with our body rule
number eight keep the promises you make
to you people I know that are really
happy are very self-aware in fact the
best entrepreneurs I know are very
self-aware they’re aware of their
shortcomings right they want to improve
them they want to get to the next
version of themselves all the time
and so for me self confidence comes
because I didn’t have it and I think
anytime you meet somebody like yourself
or myself we might now appear self
confident it’s because I really had to
find tools and resources because I was
so insecure and shy and introverted so I
had to find techniques and resources to
build that up in me and for me it’s very
simple it’s the promises that I keep to
myself if I have a habit over and over
again to stack one on top of the other
of keeping promises I make to me not
other people in other words the minute
you begin to get external in your life
worrying about what other people think
about you right you vote you’ve lost all
control you and it never fills you up
and people’s admiration people’s
gratitude towards you will never fill
you up it’s your own it’s your own
inside and so for me self confidence
comes from keeping the promises I make
to myself and the other part of it is
being aware I’m doing it in other words
most people don’t give themselves enough
credit all the time
they’re very aware of these 20-percent
things and not aware of the eighty right
and that’s why the dosage is so
important – you’ve nailed it it should
be 80/20 right because people get
addicted to this I’m not good at this
people don’t like this about me I don’t
feel good instead of focusing on the
eighty and stacking up Wow I did eat
what I said I was going to today I did
get up when I said I was going to I made
the amount of phone calls I treated
people in such a way I promised myself
it’s not just doing those things it’s
rewarding it’s being aware of it and
stacking that up rule number nine defeat
your fears and insecurities I love that
house sometimes the things that we think
are the biggest inconvenience end up
being the best blessings absolutely man
almost every single time I affect I
posted a speech today that I gave to I
went I got invited back to speak to my
college alma mater baseball team I
played college baseball university of
Pacific and I went back there and spoke
to the guys and there’s a part in the
talk right tell them that I was so
introverted my senior year I wasn’t
gonna graduate and I had to take two
electives so I was gonna graduate and I
got I had previously dropped out of a
in language class sign language because
I had to open for the class and sign
there was I didn’t even speak
I just wouldn’t walk up there move my
fingers around and I dropped the class
and so it put me where I wasn’t gonna
graduate and so the only class I could
take to graduate was drama and public
speaking and I to take them both and in
the public speaking class I found a
giftedness of mine right and so what
you’re saying is completely true I
talked about in this speech typically on
the other side of your greatest fear of
your greatest insecurity is your
greatest blessing everyone goes well get
out of your comfort zone you’ll find an
enema where you’re afraid of and what
you’re insecure about on the other side
of that is typically one of the great
gifts or blessings in your life and so
that’s exactly right you and I are
talking right now because I took a
public speaking class my senior year I
was stone ass afraid of in college
that’s why you and I were talking right
now so you’re 11
right you’re and how many people have
been touched now because of you taking
that class and a mutual right and
somehow that blessing that’s seemingly
inconsequential scary pain in the ass
for me changed my entire life and has
changed frankly millions of other
people’s lives because I went around
that thing I was afraid of it’s like you
don’t even know the magnitude of what
it’s costing you to give in to your
fears and insecurities and by the way
insecurities and fears are different
things
they’re both really insidious
detrimental things that people struggle
with and so on the other side of your
fear that’s one thing and on the other
side of your greatest insecurity or
blessing and you have no idea that
immeasurable waves that you’re missing
in your life because you are giving in
to them and cowering to them and so it’s
like my life totally different take me a
little deeper there what’s the
difference between fear and security
well fear is something that as you stare
at it there’s a reaction in your body
that’s actually healthy it’s to protect
you with fear in our in our nature
because way back in the day this is how
we survive right so here is not an
unhealthy thing what it is is it’s an
alert to you that hey
there’s something here you need to be
more aware of here is an awareness
emotion what most people think is it’s
an avoidance emotion fear is to make you
aware right so I had a little fear in an
odd way when my daughter was being born
when my son was being ward
I wasn’t afraid of having a daughter it
was an awareness of all the great things
that could come with it and my fear of
what could go wrong that day right so
thank God my daughter was born so that
fear wasn’t some sign it shouldn’t
happen or shouldn’t go through with it
it was a hyper awareness insecurity is a
lie you tell yourself insecurity is
completely different insecurity is
mainly things that don’t exist that you
should not be aware of so on ironically
people conflate these two things and
insecurity is something that you’ve told
yourself that is more than likely a lie
about you I’m stupid I’m short nobody
loves me no one’s going to listen to me
I’m not strong enough I’m gonna blow
this right what are they gonna think
about me these are all fabrications of
your imagination
fear is a real thing that you should
acknowledge and see and respond to
favorably insecurities our lives and so
on it most people don’t make that
distinction and they actually think
their insecurities are things they
should be aware of when in fact
insecurities are things you should not
be aware of totally different thing and
rule number 10 the last one before very
special bonus clip is serve people I
wanted to be a professional baseball
player alright yeah but then you got an
injury I did similar to me so you never
made it to the big leagues or did you
play minor league for them I did yeah
and I played Division one college
baseball – yeah like every guy like you
and I talked about this last time it’s
always our injuries that ended our
careers I probably it probably put me
into a premature place where I was going
anyways I don’t write you weren’t gonna
be in the bass fer I was and I played
enough baseball with guys who ended up
in the big leagues to know my
limitations yes so like anything in life
things happen for you not to you that
injury happened for me certainly didn’t
seem like it at the time but it got me
out of that and into something like what
we’re talking about now that completely
changed my life so yeah but yeah I want
to be an athlete for sure all my life
all your life that was my mask and then
when it exactly and then when it ended
your identity was like who am i right
yes lost well like a lot we were just
Thomas before we went on yeah we know
our professional athlete friends were
there career changes I went into a like
anybody like whatever your dream is when
the first one ends and doesn’t happen
whether that be a relationship it could
be your marriage events it was a dream
right or a business venture or sport I
went into a pretty good depression and
how old were you at the time 21 22 and I
ended up you know it’s because people
always see the after like the house or
whatever houses or whatever the material
things are but I ended up bad man I
ended up to press I ended up moving back
at home with my parents I was living a
mistake I remember I was living in this
sleep it of the same bed I grew up in
with the same teddy bear the same
posters I was like going back in time
like six years I’m back where I was
totally unemployed and couldn’t find
work didn’t have the motivation to get
up and find a job just sort of eating
out of their fridge and laying around
all day so that’s where I was many many
years ago after bass public when you
realize things in your life happen for
you truly especially in hindsight
everybody knows it in hindsight right if
you look back at any disaster tragedy
most people look back five ten years
later they go that happened for me that
was actually a good thing and so I was
unemployed I couldn’t find a job and my
old man my dad was the best dad role
model you could ever have any life
hard-working man good man it’s better
man than me has more integrity than me
this is the best man I’ve ever known but
when I was growing up my dad had a
drinking problem and so my dad had
gotten sober recently and he was going
to these meetings and he comes home from
one of his meetings and says there’s a
guy at my meeting who can get you a job
it’s right down the street in San Dimas
you’re gonna be working with kids
doesn’t pay anything at six bucks an
hour but you’re gonna get this damn job
so show up there tomorrow morning 8:00
a.m. ask for Tim so I walk dates I Drive
down there it’s a place called McKinley
home for boys little did I know that
would alter my entire life that was the
most significant thing that happen to me
and so I walk in there I said I’m at my
lead I’m here for the job they’re like
what job I’m like I don’t know just my
dad told me to show up here yeah I need
to ask for Tim they’re like we have no
idea who the hell Tim is what’s his last
name I said I I don’t
I don’t know it’s they’ve and they’re
like so you should offer a job that you
don’t know what it is and you don’t know
who it is it’s hiring you I’m like
here’s what I know he’s an alcoholic
like oh no that’s him and so they bring
me to the guy and he says uh you’re
hired let’s go
like literally shakes my hand and you’re
hired and he introduces me to these
eight boys know where my boys they were
seven eight and nine years old and
basically I lived with these boys these
precious boys and we ended up adding a
few more my boys were all Ward’s of the
court they were all molested by family
when parents were in prison and so they
had no family
and so my whole life changed all of a
sudden he’s became I’m this 22 year old
guy these guys become my sons Wow and I
did holidays with them I did birthdays
with them I lived with them literally in
a home or like a little horns or
McKinley is a massive campus full of
children that not in displace from their
homes that live in individual like
cottages like a foster care facility
massive though really yeah all hallways
it’s in San Dimas here and wow it just
altered my life man because I I’d been
an athlete had a huge ego had that mask
I wanted to compete I wanted to win I
wanted attention I wanted recognition
first time literally in my life I went
well I I love helping people I love
making a difference and my boys were
just come from horrendous situations and
so just I always say this all the time
kid and I have those eyes too you have
them I think sometimes kids who grow up
when some dysfunction they just have
different eyes yeah they just have these
eyes that are these boys all were
different but they had that same eyes
that just like man love me
believe in ya you know care about me and
I had those eyes because I grew up in an
alcoholic family and my whole life
changed I spent Wow I love I actually
love helping people and being involved
in people’s lives I didn’t know that
because everything was you’re great
you’re great you know it is when you’re
an athlete right now everything’s about
you you’re amazing free dinners free
that’s your stud all of a sudden I
wasn’t a stud and all of a sudden it
wasn’t about me it was about these ten
boys that ended up being 10 of them and
it just altered my life man and so after
that I ran into the financial business
that I ended up in but I would have
completely flunked out of that financial
business had I not been with my boys for
those years and I was there for two
years two years yeah
like eight hours a day type of thing or
sometimes more sometimes 1689 I think
about I’m not kidding you I think about
my boys and my experience there two of
them are still very close with me every
day there’s a moment where I reflect on
that it altered me completely like what
I wanted to do I always wanted to be
famous and rich and successful and now I
just wanted to serve yeah I wanted to
help little little did I find out I
could get rich and famous and all that
other stuff I thought I wanted through
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from it on how to shift your identity
that I think you’re really gonna enjoy
but before that it’s time for the
three-point landing questions time to
move from just watching another video to
taking action in your life for business
and if you’re feeling bold leave your
answers in the comments below here we go
question number one how can you better
serve people number two what fear or
insecurity do you need to defeat and
number three what promise did you make
identity is the governor on our lives
it’s the invisible force that no one
understands and once they do understand
and get ahold of it their life can
change and so not only if you don’t get
a hold of this will these outward
conditions of your life keep being
exactly the same but it’s you could
behave differently could do all the work
now you could be thinking great thoughts
but you are going to get out of your
life you’re gonna be the most powerful
force in the world I think is to be
consistent with the concepts ideas and
worth that you hold for yourself you
will get that out of your life what you
will tolerate okay the deeper part of
that is identity and so the identity is
very much like a thermostat sitting on a
wall right this is important once that
temperature is set at a certain degree
everything in the world externally can
hit it and you will find a way to get
that temperature so even in this house
let’s say it’s set at 80 degrees if we
open up all the doors and cold air just
the worst things in life the blizzard of
life came in the thermostat will kick
the heater on and it will regulate this
room back to 80 degrees the reverse is
also true
it’s a super hot day great things are
happening in your life it’s getting
hotter and hotter and hotter if you’re
at 80 degrees that internal thermostat
will find a way over a window of time to
cool your life right back down to 80
degrees again so the key the secret key
is to be able to shift that identity 90
120 so some of the ways strategies to do
that are very simple one is if I let’s
just say financially you’re a 200-degree
or and I’m an 80-degree if I’m in your
proximity over and over and over and
over again you will heat my identity up
somewhere in between mine and yours to
150 degrees same in Fitness same and
everything so the more you can layer in
multiple people the stronger and
stronger that forces so that changes our
thermostat through Association it’s a
huge huge huge huge thing people say you
are who the five people you hang around
this is why they had just your
thermostat that’s number one second way
you can change your identity is through
doing short bursts of something in a
window of time you’ve not done them
before and they change the thermostat
temperature permanently almost like a
water line in the pool so if it’s a
certain in the gym certain amount in the
gym or a certain amount of phone calls
in your business or a certain amount of
opponents you make a certain amount of
money oftentimes you’re never the same
again you’ve seen this when your own net
worth I’ve seen it in mind there became
a point where I made a leap and a short
window I was
never really the same again I could go
back a little bit but not back where I
was before
so it’s activity or successes
if you want more admire let check out
the other top 10 rules video I made on
him the link is right there next to me I
think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you there
we all know someone right now in our
life or we have who’s not ethical who’s
not a good person who’s winning you’re
like I can’t believe they’re getting it right why can’t I
is your addiction to other people’s
approval
I let myself sort of feel the pain and
the difficulty of being not where I want
to be in whatever that area when I was
really coming up in business I went so
broke that powers turned off you know
the phone’s turned off I had my wife’s
car got repoed need motivation watch a
top ten with believe nation what’s that
believe nation it seven I believe in you
and this channel is designed to be a
part of your daily success routine so
let’s get your motivation to attend and
get you believing in you grab a snack
and join today’s lessons from Amane who
went from growing up in a middle-class
family to building a super successful
financial services company and being
considered one of the best motivational
speakers in the world he’s ed my let and
here’s my take on his top ten rules to
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one take control of the script of your
life you ever go to the movies at the
end of the movie they scroll down like
the leading characters names and then
what do they do if you keep watching it
cab driver number two bouncer at the bar
number one you ever see those faceless
people far too many of you in your life
are obsessed with what cab driver number
two and bouncer number one think about
what you’re doing instead of the lead
characters you’re obsessed with other
people think about you the thing that’s
gonna kill your dream is your addiction
to other people’s approval and cab
driver number two he ain’t gonna prove
of what you doing at the end of your
damn life he’s not gonna show up in any
of the important chapters yeah you give
him all this power all the time
stop giving people power who aren’t in
your book do your life for the leading
character you your spouse your children
your parents your legacy they’re the
lead characters in the story of you of
your life because the more you decide to
take control of the narrative of the
script of your life and you live your
dream the more likely at the end of your
life you’re gonna meet that dude rule
number two be fueled by pain there’s a
Malcolm X quote they don’t really like
ya tell me what it is and why it’s so
powerful that which you do not hate you
will eventually tolerate and I think
that identifies most people’s lives in
other words they average becomes sort of
like this slow asphyxiation it’s almost
like an anesthetic and that over time
would become kind of immune and dulled
to the average that we’re becoming I
know this is true at least for me you
probably experienced it yourself too and
so over time we sort of minimize where
we’re at in other words I’m a little
pudgy instead of being know your fat ass
right you know you don’t magnify the
degree to which the pain ought to be
affecting you and so really what he
means on that is listen you’re gonna get
out of your life what you’ll accept
that’s really difficult for people I
think to understand is look what you
think you’re worth and what you’re gonna
tolerate is absolutely what you’re gonna
bring into your life and what the
outward part of your life is gonna look
like and so I live by that like I let
myself sort of feel the pain and the
difficulty of being not where I want to
be in whatever that areas were those
would be my spirituality my
relationships my money I let myself feel
that pain
as you know there’s two motivators right
there’s the gaining of pleasure right
wanting to go get something chasing the
dream but then there’s the avoidance of
pain and for a lot of champions that’s a
pretty big driving force for them and so
at least for me I ever egde both of
those things on me to get myself to take
action rule number three stop worrying
what others think trying to prove people
wrong or write about you is a cheap
level of motivation and it will wear out
in other words it’s not and it’s not the
lack of it it’s just it’s not the best
type people say well hey Tom Brady six
round draft pick I mean he’s constantly
trying to prove him that they picked the
wrong guys I know Tommy a little bit and
I can tell you that motivates him but if
you think he’s become the greatest
football player of all time because he’s
trying to prove people from 20 years ago
wrong about where he was drafted you
don’t get elite performance Tom Brady is
where he is because he sets standards
for himself and has massive goals and
ambitions for himself not to prove other
people wrong I promise you when he’s
sitting under Center in the Super Bowl
he’s not going I was a six round draft
pick that’s not what moves him yeah and
so I think it’s low level motivation I
do it too and the sooner you drop it’s
it’s a it’s the symptom of the same
disease right so proving your family
wrong or right is the symptom of the
same disease which is you are still
obsessed with what other people are
thinking about you and not doing things
that make you happy that enrich you to
fulfill your soul and so the irony about
spending your life worrying about what
everybody else thinks about you here’s
the irony is that those people will
never be thought about after they’re
dead so they spend their life obsessing
with everyone thinks about them only to
die and have no one ever remember them
because people that are so obsessed with
what other people think about them never
really ever fulfill their potential so
once you can drop that addiction whether
it’s friends strangers or your parents
and you begin to do things that fulfill
you that make you happy yeah that change
other people’s lives by your
contribution now you can be remembered
now you’re your life that goes into
eternity even if it was a quiet life
rule number four always give your all I
remember going all the work I put into
this all the hopes my family and I had
all the travel ball all everything we
did all the games all the great plays
all the errors I made the fly ball I’d
dropped
you know all that stuff I was gonna get
drafted then I did all that stuff right
the guys I played with over like a
flicker man like a flicker that crap was
over and we’re on that bus ride back and
I remember thinking man I should have
tried harder I should have played harder
I should have given this more you know
that stuff guys do man you’re running
sprits there’s two dudes who run every
sprint full-speed and then there’s a
dudes who run 80% six of them you know
exactly what I’m talking about right
he’s kind of cool you know it doesn’t
matter not the fastest guy so no one
will know when I don’t win the Sprint’s
you know those guys you know exactly
what I’m talking about right this guy
kind of doesn’t really catch the ball on
his throwing side in the outfield he’s
where he catches it over it does
everything wrong throws it back that’s
the thing that costs a guy getting
thrown out at third and you lose by a
run because you just practiced like that
guy in the bullpen it’s kind of like not
really focused you just gotta get in
loose right instead of just laser
focused on everything he’s doing all the
time right you don’t want to leave here
you don’t want it to end whether it ends
in the big leagues
it ends in the minor leagues it ends
here or you never even get on the field
this year okay having wondered whether
you gave it all you got because it’s
gonna transfer into the man you become
when you leave here and most important
is gonna be your identity when you get
tired when you get fatigued when you get
down when you’re in a slump
it’s your habits rituals routines and
your standards that carry you through
and if you don’t have good habits you
don’t have good rituals so you don’t
have good routines always in your life
you will fall down and bad times and
slumps and fatigue and stress rule
number five bring real value to people
the reason that I think my stuff has
grown and I’m not trying to be
braggadocious in this regard my contents
good like my content and stuff that
could really affect you and change you
I’m not gonna tell you 1,100 times that
gets you money I’m not gonna tell you to
be kind 1,100 times and just repeat
myself or binary and all this stuff the
guys is keep repeating themselves it’s
just it’s mindless information I don’t
even understand how they have following
to be honest with you it’s like I’ve
heard you say this same thing 2,000
different times whereas I’m trying to
keep my content fresh relevant
inspirational but also strategic that’s
not knocking people just I think but you
this very well but if you’re gonna be in
this space really bring value to people
you know I mean if people gonna follow
you give them value and inspiration for
the the privilege of them following you
so I feel an obligation to try to create
stuff daily when I can to move someone’s
life forward rule number six overcome
difficulties when I was really coming up
in business I went so broke that powers
turned off you know the phone’s turned
off I had my wife’s car got repoed you
can have all that happen to you but what
you don’t want ever happened this have
your water turned off and I had the
water turned off in our apartment right
when we were newlyweds and I just
remember the shame of every morning
getting up with her we’d have to walk
down the stairs to the pool outdoors and
take our shower brush our teeth in that
outdoor shower then grab our stuff up
I’d walk my new bride up to our
apartment and it was just shameful for
me you know and so I’m grateful to live
here and this it sounds corny but I just
tell you the honest-to-god truth it’s
not every single morning but there are
many mornings when I pull the faucet in
the shower and the water hits me and I’m
that’s where the gratitude hits me like
it’s got my water not just the ocean
back there but just literally that you
know I know what that’s like to be
scared I wasn’t just broke I was scared
rule number seven work out I think
everything in our lives starts with our
body if you’re a person of faith you
believe that’s where your soul is housed
right and so it’s the you you do
emotions you don’t just feel them you do
them in other words and you know this
from things you’ve learned in your life
but like joy is an actual action not
just an emotion we feel a certain joy a
certain breathing a certain movement in
our body depression and sadness is
something we do were more hunched over
our breathing is more shallow right and
so there’s a correlation between the way
you move your body and your emotions
they’re directly this is even before we
get to dopamine hits and our nervous
system being I’m just telling you that
the way you move your body is an emotion
you do emotions and so when you move
your body you can’t be in full workout
mode moving your body running walking
jumping jacks jump rope and be depressed
they don’t go together summit is because
your body doesn’t get the connection I’m
moving like I’m joyful I’m moving like
I’m having sex I’m moving like I’m happy
these are all joyful states you can’t be
depressed simultaneously so the quickest
way to change our behavior our emotion
in our state is with our body rule
number eight keep the promises you make
to you people I know that are really
happy are very self-aware in fact the
best entrepreneurs I know are very
self-aware they’re aware of their
shortcomings right they want to improve
them they want to get to the next
version of themselves all the time
and so for me self confidence comes
because I didn’t have it and I think
anytime you meet somebody like yourself
or myself we might now appear self
confident it’s because I really had to
find tools and resources because I was
so insecure and shy and introverted so I
had to find techniques and resources to
build that up in me and for me it’s very
simple it’s the promises that I keep to
myself if I have a habit over and over
again to stack one on top of the other
of keeping promises I make to me not
other people in other words the minute
you begin to get external in your life
worrying about what other people think
about you right you vote you’ve lost all
control you and it never fills you up
and people’s admiration people’s
gratitude towards you will never fill
you up it’s your own it’s your own
inside and so for me self confidence
comes from keeping the promises I make
to myself and the other part of it is
being aware I’m doing it in other words
most people don’t give themselves enough
credit all the time
they’re very aware of these 20-percent
things and not aware of the eighty right
and that’s why the dosage is so
important – you’ve nailed it it should
be 80/20 right because people get
addicted to this I’m not good at this
people don’t like this about me I don’t
feel good instead of focusing on the
eighty and stacking up Wow I did eat
what I said I was going to today I did
get up when I said I was going to I made
the amount of phone calls I treated
people in such a way I promised myself
it’s not just doing those things it’s
rewarding it’s being aware of it and
stacking that up rule number nine defeat
your fears and insecurities I love that
house sometimes the things that we think
are the biggest inconvenience end up
being the best blessings absolutely man
almost every single time I affect I
posted a speech today that I gave to I
went I got invited back to speak to my
college alma mater baseball team I
played college baseball university of
Pacific and I went back there and spoke
to the guys and there’s a part in the
talk right tell them that I was so
introverted my senior year I wasn’t
gonna graduate and I had to take two
electives so I was gonna graduate and I
got I had previously dropped out of a
in language class sign language because
I had to open for the class and sign
there was I didn’t even speak
I just wouldn’t walk up there move my
fingers around and I dropped the class
and so it put me where I wasn’t gonna
graduate and so the only class I could
take to graduate was drama and public
speaking and I to take them both and in
the public speaking class I found a
giftedness of mine right and so what
you’re saying is completely true I
talked about in this speech typically on
the other side of your greatest fear of
your greatest insecurity is your
greatest blessing everyone goes well get
out of your comfort zone you’ll find an
enema where you’re afraid of and what
you’re insecure about on the other side
of that is typically one of the great
gifts or blessings in your life and so
that’s exactly right you and I are
talking right now because I took a
public speaking class my senior year I
was stone ass afraid of in college
that’s why you and I were talking right
now so you’re 11
right you’re and how many people have
been touched now because of you taking
that class and a mutual right and
somehow that blessing that’s seemingly
inconsequential scary pain in the ass
for me changed my entire life and has
changed frankly millions of other
people’s lives because I went around
that thing I was afraid of it’s like you
don’t even know the magnitude of what
it’s costing you to give in to your
fears and insecurities and by the way
insecurities and fears are different
things
they’re both really insidious
detrimental things that people struggle
with and so on the other side of your
fear that’s one thing and on the other
side of your greatest insecurity or
blessing and you have no idea that
immeasurable waves that you’re missing
in your life because you are giving in
to them and cowering to them and so it’s
like my life totally different take me a
little deeper there what’s the
difference between fear and security
well fear is something that as you stare
at it there’s a reaction in your body
that’s actually healthy it’s to protect
you with fear in our in our nature
because way back in the day this is how
we survive right so here is not an
unhealthy thing what it is is it’s an
alert to you that hey
there’s something here you need to be
more aware of here is an awareness
emotion what most people think is it’s
an avoidance emotion fear is to make you
aware right so I had a little fear in an
odd way when my daughter was being born
when my son was being ward
I wasn’t afraid of having a daughter it
was an awareness of all the great things
that could come with it and my fear of
what could go wrong that day right so
thank God my daughter was born so that
fear wasn’t some sign it shouldn’t
happen or shouldn’t go through with it
it was a hyper awareness insecurity is a
lie you tell yourself insecurity is
completely different insecurity is
mainly things that don’t exist that you
should not be aware of so on ironically
people conflate these two things and
insecurity is something that you’ve told
yourself that is more than likely a lie
about you I’m stupid I’m short nobody
loves me no one’s going to listen to me
I’m not strong enough I’m gonna blow
this right what are they gonna think
about me these are all fabrications of
your imagination
fear is a real thing that you should
acknowledge and see and respond to
favorably insecurities our lives and so
on it most people don’t make that
distinction and they actually think
their insecurities are things they
should be aware of when in fact
insecurities are things you should not
be aware of totally different thing and
rule number 10 the last one before very
special bonus clip is serve people I
wanted to be a professional baseball
player alright yeah but then you got an
injury I did similar to me so you never
made it to the big leagues or did you
play minor league for them I did yeah
and I played Division one college
baseball – yeah like every guy like you
and I talked about this last time it’s
always our injuries that ended our
careers I probably it probably put me
into a premature place where I was going
anyways I don’t write you weren’t gonna
be in the bass fer I was and I played
enough baseball with guys who ended up
in the big leagues to know my
limitations yes so like anything in life
things happen for you not to you that
injury happened for me certainly didn’t
seem like it at the time but it got me
out of that and into something like what
we’re talking about now that completely
changed my life so yeah but yeah I want
to be an athlete for sure all my life
all your life that was my mask and then
when it exactly and then when it ended
your identity was like who am i right
yes lost well like a lot we were just
Thomas before we went on yeah we know
our professional athlete friends were
there career changes I went into a like
anybody like whatever your dream is when
the first one ends and doesn’t happen
whether that be a relationship it could
be your marriage events it was a dream
right or a business venture or sport I
went into a pretty good depression and
how old were you at the time 21 22 and I
ended up you know it’s because people
always see the after like the house or
whatever houses or whatever the material
things are but I ended up bad man I
ended up to press I ended up moving back
at home with my parents I was living a
mistake I remember I was living in this
sleep it of the same bed I grew up in
with the same teddy bear the same
posters I was like going back in time
like six years I’m back where I was
totally unemployed and couldn’t find
work didn’t have the motivation to get
up and find a job just sort of eating
out of their fridge and laying around
all day so that’s where I was many many
years ago after bass public when you
realize things in your life happen for
you truly especially in hindsight
everybody knows it in hindsight right if
you look back at any disaster tragedy
most people look back five ten years
later they go that happened for me that
was actually a good thing and so I was
unemployed I couldn’t find a job and my
old man my dad was the best dad role
model you could ever have any life
hard-working man good man it’s better
man than me has more integrity than me
this is the best man I’ve ever known but
when I was growing up my dad had a
drinking problem and so my dad had
gotten sober recently and he was going
to these meetings and he comes home from
one of his meetings and says there’s a
guy at my meeting who can get you a job
it’s right down the street in San Dimas
you’re gonna be working with kids
doesn’t pay anything at six bucks an
hour but you’re gonna get this damn job
so show up there tomorrow morning 8:00
a.m. ask for Tim so I walk dates I Drive
down there it’s a place called McKinley
home for boys little did I know that
would alter my entire life that was the
most significant thing that happen to me
and so I walk in there I said I’m at my
lead I’m here for the job they’re like
what job I’m like I don’t know just my
dad told me to show up here yeah I need
to ask for Tim they’re like we have no
idea who the hell Tim is what’s his last
name I said I I don’t
I don’t know it’s they’ve and they’re
like so you should offer a job that you
don’t know what it is and you don’t know
who it is it’s hiring you I’m like
here’s what I know he’s an alcoholic
like oh no that’s him and so they bring
me to the guy and he says uh you’re
hired let’s go
like literally shakes my hand and you’re
hired and he introduces me to these
eight boys know where my boys they were
seven eight and nine years old and
basically I lived with these boys these
precious boys and we ended up adding a
few more my boys were all Ward’s of the
court they were all molested by family
when parents were in prison and so they
had no family
and so my whole life changed all of a
sudden he’s became I’m this 22 year old
guy these guys become my sons Wow and I
did holidays with them I did birthdays
with them I lived with them literally in
a home or like a little horns or
McKinley is a massive campus full of
children that not in displace from their
homes that live in individual like
cottages like a foster care facility
massive though really yeah all hallways
it’s in San Dimas here and wow it just
altered my life man because I I’d been
an athlete had a huge ego had that mask
I wanted to compete I wanted to win I
wanted attention I wanted recognition
first time literally in my life I went
well I I love helping people I love
making a difference and my boys were
just come from horrendous situations and
so just I always say this all the time
kid and I have those eyes too you have
them I think sometimes kids who grow up
when some dysfunction they just have
different eyes yeah they just have these
eyes that are these boys all were
different but they had that same eyes
that just like man love me
believe in ya you know care about me and
I had those eyes because I grew up in an
alcoholic family and my whole life
changed I spent Wow I love I actually
love helping people and being involved
in people’s lives I didn’t know that
because everything was you’re great
you’re great you know it is when you’re
an athlete right now everything’s about
you you’re amazing free dinners free
that’s your stud all of a sudden I
wasn’t a stud and all of a sudden it
wasn’t about me it was about these ten
boys that ended up being 10 of them and
it just altered my life man and so after
that I ran into the financial business
that I ended up in but I would have
completely flunked out of that financial
business had I not been with my boys for
those years and I was there for two
years two years yeah
like eight hours a day type of thing or
sometimes more sometimes 1689 I think
about I’m not kidding you I think about
my boys and my experience there two of
them are still very close with me every
day there’s a moment where I reflect on
that it altered me completely like what
I wanted to do I always wanted to be
famous and rich and successful and now I
just wanted to serve yeah I wanted to
help little little did I find out I
could get rich and famous and all that
other stuff I thought I wanted through
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from it on how to shift your identity
that I think you’re really gonna enjoy
but before that it’s time for the
three-point landing questions time to
move from just watching another video to
taking action in your life for business
and if you’re feeling bold leave your
answers in the comments below here we go
question number one how can you better
serve people number two what fear or
insecurity do you need to defeat and
number three what promise did you make
identity is the governor on our lives
it’s the invisible force that no one
understands and once they do understand
and get ahold of it their life can
change and so not only if you don’t get
a hold of this will these outward
conditions of your life keep being
exactly the same but it’s you could
behave differently could do all the work
now you could be thinking great thoughts
but you are going to get out of your
life you’re gonna be the most powerful
force in the world I think is to be
consistent with the concepts ideas and
worth that you hold for yourself you
will get that out of your life what you
will tolerate okay the deeper part of
that is identity and so the identity is
very much like a thermostat sitting on a
wall right this is important once that
temperature is set at a certain degree
everything in the world externally can
hit it and you will find a way to get
that temperature so even in this house
let’s say it’s set at 80 degrees if we
open up all the doors and cold air just
the worst things in life the blizzard of
life came in the thermostat will kick
the heater on and it will regulate this
room back to 80 degrees the reverse is
also true
it’s a super hot day great things are
happening in your life it’s getting
hotter and hotter and hotter if you’re
at 80 degrees that internal thermostat
will find a way over a window of time to
cool your life right back down to 80
degrees again so the key the secret key
is to be able to shift that identity 90
120 so some of the ways strategies to do
that are very simple one is if I let’s
just say financially you’re a 200-degree
or and I’m an 80-degree if I’m in your
proximity over and over and over and
over again you will heat my identity up
somewhere in between mine and yours to
150 degrees same in Fitness same and
everything so the more you can layer in
multiple people the stronger and
stronger that forces so that changes our
thermostat through Association it’s a
huge huge huge huge thing people say you
are who the five people you hang around
this is why they had just your
thermostat that’s number one second way
you can change your identity is through
doing short bursts of something in a
window of time you’ve not done them
before and they change the thermostat
temperature permanently almost like a
water line in the pool so if it’s a
certain in the gym certain amount in the
gym or a certain amount of phone calls
in your business or a certain amount of
opponents you make a certain amount of
money oftentimes you’re never the same
again you’ve seen this when your own net
worth I’ve seen it in mind there became
a point where I made a leap and a short
window I was
never really the same again I could go
back a little bit but not back where I
was before
so it’s activity or successes
if you want more admire let check out
the other top 10 rules video I made on
him the link is right there next to me I
think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you there
we all know someone right now in our
life or we have who’s not ethical who’s
not a good person who’s winning you’re
like I can’t believe they’re getting it right why can’t I
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