it doesn’t matter what the other people
think don’t care what other people think
what’s that belief nation it seven my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have Michael Jordan level
talent at something and I want to see
you find it embrace it and use it to
make a difference in this world now I
started the one rule series because we
cover a lot of different people a lot of
different top tens and some of the rules
come up consistently over and over and
over again so the goal of this series is
to combine those rules that multiple
people keep talking about and smush them
into one video for you so today we’re
gonna look at how you can stop caring
what others think enjoy most people
really are concerned about what people
think about them it holds them back you
never ever ever ever have it’s not a
part of who you are is that your DNA or
where did that come from I don’t know I
just never gave ya it’s just once you
get success in something I mean even
when look I failed many times and you
learn from those failures that it
doesn’t hurt as bad as you thought you
know that you can bounce back and then
once you taste some success you realize
it doesn’t matter how many times you
failed right you only have to be one
right one time then everyone’s always an
overnight success or you know this came
easy to them you know you just you just
got to keep on grinding and and keep on
trying new things and you know once you
start feeling the success you realize
look it doesn’t matter what the other
people think
other than my customers other than my
you know my partners other than my
employees I care what they think but you
know from the outside looking in I was
always just so focused that I just never
I mean I got distracted from time I
don’t want to say never distracted but
you know I just didn’t want anybody else
I don’t want to think that how people
saw me was a reflection of the job I was
doing you know if my customers were
happy if my stakeholders were happy I
was happy so we’ve been getting a ton of
questions about being paralyzed with the
fear of what other people think and this
is so commonplace I think every human
being on the planet
is is paralyzed in some aspect or some
area of their life because they’re
concerned about what their parents or
but the friends are with the friends on
Facebook or with their colleagues or
with their upline or their downline or
whatever what their neighbors are gonna
think if you are struggling with this
and you have not found it helpful to
attack your thinking patterns then
here’s a trick that I want you to try to
break the pattern of being paralyzed by
what other people think I want you to
pick one thing one thing that you’ve
been wanting to do that you’ve been
thinking about but you have stopped
yourself from doing because you’re
concerned about what other people think
let me give you some examples maybe
you’ve wanted to go on a wellness
retreat but you think your spouse will
roll their eyes at you so you haven’t
done it maybe you have a particular
Facebook post or a blog so many of you
want to start a business or start
creating art but you’re terrified of
putting yourself out there because of
what other people will think today we’re
gonna break that pattern what you’re
going to do is you’re gonna pick one
thing you’ve been stopping yourself from
doing and you’re going to do it you’re
going to do it and the reason why I want
you to do this is because I know that if
you’re still paralyzed you have not been
able to change your thinking patterns
yet that’s cool no problem we’re gonna
try a different tactic I want you to
change this paralysis through action
because if you sign up for that class if
you go on that retreat if you create
your art if you post that blog post if
you start that business you will be
proving to yourself through the actions
that you’re taking that you don’t care
what other people think try that today
let me know
number one what you’ve stopped yourself
from doing and number two what you’re
committing to doing today because one
way to break this is to attack the
thoughts and change the thoughts and get
into action first the other way to do it
is to recognize that you’re paralyzed
pick one thing that you’re gonna do and
actually get it done on a bigger macro
patience and failure they all ladder up
to one thing which is insecurity the
reason people don’t put themselves in a
position to fail the reason people
aren’t patient is they value other
people’s opinions too much which then
dictates their behavior which then gets
into all of this
Wise’s if you like don’t hold on to it
and with the thought of in case it fails
because you just need to realize it’s
your Scarlet Letter literally the reason
people are scared always is the outside
force having a failing business and
everyone’s like Oh see you could never
do or whatever the cliche is right yeah
it just doesn’t matter you know why so
that’s one piece I mean if it didn’t
succeed what there’s such better people
like what I’m such a better person than
other people because I can build a
business that’s any advice for somebody
who is taking steps to make a positive
change but he is getting all kinds of
negative consequences for bad decisions
he took in the past at some point in
fact I’ll just quote loud sue the guy
that wrote the daodejing
he said if you worry about whether the
other people think about you you will
always be their prisoner so unless
you’re prepared to be other people’s
prisoners at some point if they are
hurling dirt on you if they’re
constantly trying to Ribery you under
the earth that you’re trying to claw
your way out from then you’re never
gonna get out you’ve got to just stop
worrying about what they think so they
can’t actually affect you they can only
try to influence your mindset so and
even even now if people hate you slings
and arrows you could get a job digitally
you could go be a freelancer on up work
or whatever people don’t even have to
know who you are so truly in today’s
world they are not gonna be able to stop
you from getting a job but they can
really mess with your head but only if
you let them so I will say to that do
not let them you’ve got to understand
who you’re trying to become believe in
your ability to get there to become that
person to understand that to continue to
beat yourself up for something in the
past is not going to serve you and so
for that very reason let it go I think
it’s really important for entrepreneurs
to understand where your threshold is of
how much crap you can take from other
people how much negativity how much
feedback and criticism that you could
take without it impacting your psyche or
your self-worth I think in general as an
entrepreneur you need to be prepared to
get a lot of crap a lot of negativity a
lot of stuff coming at you and yes it’s
easy to say don’t care what other people
think
but understanding what your tolerance
level is and where you kind of fit on
that spectrum can really help you design
the rules so that they’re in your favor
so as an example this is a guy on my
team who doesn’t handle criticism as
well you know I’m a lot more comfortable
in the uncomfortable where he can bounce
around a lot more of who be on top of
the world like this is great and then a
negative feedback comes in and it really
impacts him hardly and then the positive
one comes in the jokes back up and so
for someone like him you can’t design as
much risk as much negativity or
potential negativity so you got to take
us a safe path up where for me I’m more
comfortable in the uncomfortable I know
that eventually something’s gonna work
out and I know that at the beginning of
any project it’s gonna be rough that it
made a hut workout then we’re gonna get
some criticism and so I’m more willing
to jump all in and play in that field
even though it’s painful at the moment
because I know the faster I get through
that pain the fast we’re gonna come out
the other side I want that feedback and
criticism negativity as soon as possible
so that I can make it better better for
you better for me better for everybody
and so understanding what your tolerance
level is of emotional stability how much
you can take from your friends and your
family and your customers and your
audience and the people watching you
before you break and then be able to
play just below that limit because you
can’t just play super safe because
that’s not gonna make you happy as an
entrepreneur but knowing your limit
isn’t playing just below it so that it’s
uncomfortable it’s painful but you’re
still gonna be able to get through it I
think is really important that
self-awareness I think it’s really
important as an entrepreneur ignore
people telling you your idea is bad they
may be right but the only way to know is
to actually build it out
and I think the thing that works about
Silicon Valley it’s different than
Mexico City or almost anywhere else in
the world is the default response if
someone says hey I’m gonna start a
startup here’s my idea the default
response is to be excited and think like
oh why might that work and in most of
the rest of the world the default
response when you tell someone your idea
is to say oh that’s not going to work
and this is really toxic for startups
because you have to believe in yourself
and and the good idea is because they
sound like that ideas are so fragile and
so killable that you have to be really
careful to insulate yourself against
this being a child star as they call it
or having worked as a miner you do you
do sort of have to be aware of the of
the of the kind of trajectory and also
kind of aware the that people are
viewing your performances through a very
different lens it’s I saw a really
interesting article yesterday that you
know people had seen the trailer and
they’re like oh you know Emma Watson
like scandalous like really trying to
push the push the envelope and step away
from Hermione Harry Potter and whatever
else and it’s like I’m just kissing
someone you know and it’s kind of like
this huge deal and it’s so you know
you’re aware of that but you also I
don’t like to try and let all of that
noise affect my choices and my decisions
because ultimately if you live like that
then you you know I think it would it
would close me off to a lot of
opportunities and and experiences you
don’t pay a lot attention to reviews and
those kind of things well you know
you’re always affected by opinion but
the more opinions there are a view the
me the more I the less I look at them
because I just can’t live my life based
upon what other people think about it so
I can’t concern myself too much with
what other people think you know it’s
just not healthy I don’t think I can I
could continue to do what I do if I was
constantly worrying about what somebody
thought about it one of my friends
Daniel told me once if nobody hates you
you’re probably doing it wrong and
that’s just the case there’s all kinds
of trolls on the internet if you’re an
artist it comes with the job
you know these people don’t have
creativity so they spread what they have
to offer which is negativity in hopes to
bring you down that’s their contribution
to society and if anything we shouldn’t
be offended by it
we shouldn’t be hurt by it even though a
lot of the things that are said can be
hurtful if anything we should feel sorry
and pity for these people because all
they have to contribute is just
negativity and think about what it is to
live like that that’s miserable right
nish on the Internet I mean learn to
cook just anything they don’t have what
it takes to put the work out there but
you do they don’t have what it takes to
go out and create something and make
something and put it on the internet and
open themselves up to being vulnerable
to just put art out there for the world
to experience not everyone’s gonna like
it when you go see a movie you might not
like it your friend might like it
you might love it your girlfriend hates
it your boyfriend loves it you hate it
so it’s subjective art is subjective
that’s the best part about it it’s not
for everybody so don’t be discouraged by
the people telling you you’re a complete
idiot I can’t believe you did that this
video is complete garbage you suck
that’s fine like whatever you’re the one
sitting here putting in the work putting
that art out there into the world and
that is what’s going to open doors
there’s a cool Andy Warhol quote I
forget like the specifics of it but it’s
like make art and while people are
deciding if they like it or not make
more art ultimately doesn’t matter
I believe beauty is beyond size with so
much emphasis on the body and external
it’s no wonder that we all suffer so
much internally but you know people in
the fashion industry actually told me
that I would never be in magazines let
alone the covers of them well I guess
we’ve proven them wrong five covers in a
little over a year
and I was one of the very first curvy
models to be featured in Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
thank you never let anybody tell you
that you can’t I have achieved and I’m
still achieving what was seemingly
now I’ve got a really special will Faris
bonus rule on how to ignore the opinions
of other people but before that I want
to know what did you learn from this
video what was motivating inspiring for
you what change you’re gonna make in
your life after watching this video make
a difference leave it down in the
comments below I really want to hear
from you when you write it down you’re
much more likely to follow through thank
you guys so much for watching I believe
in you I hope we continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love see you soon and enjoy the
after my first show one review referred
to me as the most annoying newcomer of
the new cast someone showed this to me
and I promptly put it up on the wall of
my office reminding myself that to some
people I will be annoying some people
will not think I’m funny and that that’s
okay
one woman wrote to me and said she hated
my portrayal of George W Bush it was
mean-spirited not funny and besides you
have a fat face I wrote her back and I
said I appreciate your letter and she
was entitled to her opinion but that my
job as a comedian especially on a show
like Sara Night Live was to hold up a
mirror to our political leaders and
engage from time to time in satirical
reflection as for my fat face you are
100% right I’m trying to work on that
please don’t hesitate to write me again
if you feel like I’ve lost some weight
the venerable television critic for the
Washington Post Tom Shales came up to me
during my last season of the show he
told me congratulations on my time at
the show and then he apologized for
things he had written about me in some
of his early reviews of my work I paused
for a second before I spoke and then I
said how dare you you son of a bitch I
could tell this startled him and then I
told him I was kidding and that I’d
it was true I hadn’t read his reviews in
fact I didn’t read any reviews because
once again I was too busy throwing darts
at the dartboard
all the while facing my fears the most
important work ever if you had to think
of one word that’s most important to you
that sums you Apple so it would be like
a little beacon pay believe nation if
you want to know what the most important
one word is for Tony Robbins Gary
Vaynerchuk Oprah Winfrey will.i.am and
Howard Schultz I have a very special
secret video for you check the
description for details [Music]
think don’t care what other people think
what’s that belief nation it seven my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have Michael Jordan level
talent at something and I want to see
you find it embrace it and use it to
make a difference in this world now I
started the one rule series because we
cover a lot of different people a lot of
different top tens and some of the rules
come up consistently over and over and
over again so the goal of this series is
to combine those rules that multiple
people keep talking about and smush them
into one video for you so today we’re
gonna look at how you can stop caring
what others think enjoy most people
really are concerned about what people
think about them it holds them back you
never ever ever ever have it’s not a
part of who you are is that your DNA or
where did that come from I don’t know I
just never gave ya it’s just once you
get success in something I mean even
when look I failed many times and you
learn from those failures that it
doesn’t hurt as bad as you thought you
know that you can bounce back and then
once you taste some success you realize
it doesn’t matter how many times you
failed right you only have to be one
right one time then everyone’s always an
overnight success or you know this came
easy to them you know you just you just
got to keep on grinding and and keep on
trying new things and you know once you
start feeling the success you realize
look it doesn’t matter what the other
people think
other than my customers other than my
you know my partners other than my
employees I care what they think but you
know from the outside looking in I was
always just so focused that I just never
I mean I got distracted from time I
don’t want to say never distracted but
you know I just didn’t want anybody else
I don’t want to think that how people
saw me was a reflection of the job I was
doing you know if my customers were
happy if my stakeholders were happy I
was happy so we’ve been getting a ton of
questions about being paralyzed with the
fear of what other people think and this
is so commonplace I think every human
being on the planet
is is paralyzed in some aspect or some
area of their life because they’re
concerned about what their parents or
but the friends are with the friends on
Facebook or with their colleagues or
with their upline or their downline or
whatever what their neighbors are gonna
think if you are struggling with this
and you have not found it helpful to
attack your thinking patterns then
here’s a trick that I want you to try to
break the pattern of being paralyzed by
what other people think I want you to
pick one thing one thing that you’ve
been wanting to do that you’ve been
thinking about but you have stopped
yourself from doing because you’re
concerned about what other people think
let me give you some examples maybe
you’ve wanted to go on a wellness
retreat but you think your spouse will
roll their eyes at you so you haven’t
done it maybe you have a particular
Facebook post or a blog so many of you
want to start a business or start
creating art but you’re terrified of
putting yourself out there because of
what other people will think today we’re
gonna break that pattern what you’re
going to do is you’re gonna pick one
thing you’ve been stopping yourself from
doing and you’re going to do it you’re
going to do it and the reason why I want
you to do this is because I know that if
you’re still paralyzed you have not been
able to change your thinking patterns
yet that’s cool no problem we’re gonna
try a different tactic I want you to
change this paralysis through action
because if you sign up for that class if
you go on that retreat if you create
your art if you post that blog post if
you start that business you will be
proving to yourself through the actions
that you’re taking that you don’t care
what other people think try that today
let me know
number one what you’ve stopped yourself
from doing and number two what you’re
committing to doing today because one
way to break this is to attack the
thoughts and change the thoughts and get
into action first the other way to do it
is to recognize that you’re paralyzed
pick one thing that you’re gonna do and
actually get it done on a bigger macro
patience and failure they all ladder up
to one thing which is insecurity the
reason people don’t put themselves in a
position to fail the reason people
aren’t patient is they value other
people’s opinions too much which then
dictates their behavior which then gets
into all of this
Wise’s if you like don’t hold on to it
and with the thought of in case it fails
because you just need to realize it’s
your Scarlet Letter literally the reason
people are scared always is the outside
force having a failing business and
everyone’s like Oh see you could never
do or whatever the cliche is right yeah
it just doesn’t matter you know why so
that’s one piece I mean if it didn’t
succeed what there’s such better people
like what I’m such a better person than
other people because I can build a
business that’s any advice for somebody
who is taking steps to make a positive
change but he is getting all kinds of
negative consequences for bad decisions
he took in the past at some point in
fact I’ll just quote loud sue the guy
that wrote the daodejing
he said if you worry about whether the
other people think about you you will
always be their prisoner so unless
you’re prepared to be other people’s
prisoners at some point if they are
hurling dirt on you if they’re
constantly trying to Ribery you under
the earth that you’re trying to claw
your way out from then you’re never
gonna get out you’ve got to just stop
worrying about what they think so they
can’t actually affect you they can only
try to influence your mindset so and
even even now if people hate you slings
and arrows you could get a job digitally
you could go be a freelancer on up work
or whatever people don’t even have to
know who you are so truly in today’s
world they are not gonna be able to stop
you from getting a job but they can
really mess with your head but only if
you let them so I will say to that do
not let them you’ve got to understand
who you’re trying to become believe in
your ability to get there to become that
person to understand that to continue to
beat yourself up for something in the
past is not going to serve you and so
for that very reason let it go I think
it’s really important for entrepreneurs
to understand where your threshold is of
how much crap you can take from other
people how much negativity how much
feedback and criticism that you could
take without it impacting your psyche or
your self-worth I think in general as an
entrepreneur you need to be prepared to
get a lot of crap a lot of negativity a
lot of stuff coming at you and yes it’s
easy to say don’t care what other people
think
but understanding what your tolerance
level is and where you kind of fit on
that spectrum can really help you design
the rules so that they’re in your favor
so as an example this is a guy on my
team who doesn’t handle criticism as
well you know I’m a lot more comfortable
in the uncomfortable where he can bounce
around a lot more of who be on top of
the world like this is great and then a
negative feedback comes in and it really
impacts him hardly and then the positive
one comes in the jokes back up and so
for someone like him you can’t design as
much risk as much negativity or
potential negativity so you got to take
us a safe path up where for me I’m more
comfortable in the uncomfortable I know
that eventually something’s gonna work
out and I know that at the beginning of
any project it’s gonna be rough that it
made a hut workout then we’re gonna get
some criticism and so I’m more willing
to jump all in and play in that field
even though it’s painful at the moment
because I know the faster I get through
that pain the fast we’re gonna come out
the other side I want that feedback and
criticism negativity as soon as possible
so that I can make it better better for
you better for me better for everybody
and so understanding what your tolerance
level is of emotional stability how much
you can take from your friends and your
family and your customers and your
audience and the people watching you
before you break and then be able to
play just below that limit because you
can’t just play super safe because
that’s not gonna make you happy as an
entrepreneur but knowing your limit
isn’t playing just below it so that it’s
uncomfortable it’s painful but you’re
still gonna be able to get through it I
think is really important that
self-awareness I think it’s really
important as an entrepreneur ignore
people telling you your idea is bad they
may be right but the only way to know is
to actually build it out
and I think the thing that works about
Silicon Valley it’s different than
Mexico City or almost anywhere else in
the world is the default response if
someone says hey I’m gonna start a
startup here’s my idea the default
response is to be excited and think like
oh why might that work and in most of
the rest of the world the default
response when you tell someone your idea
is to say oh that’s not going to work
and this is really toxic for startups
because you have to believe in yourself
and and the good idea is because they
sound like that ideas are so fragile and
so killable that you have to be really
careful to insulate yourself against
this being a child star as they call it
or having worked as a miner you do you
do sort of have to be aware of the of
the of the kind of trajectory and also
kind of aware the that people are
viewing your performances through a very
different lens it’s I saw a really
interesting article yesterday that you
know people had seen the trailer and
they’re like oh you know Emma Watson
like scandalous like really trying to
push the push the envelope and step away
from Hermione Harry Potter and whatever
else and it’s like I’m just kissing
someone you know and it’s kind of like
this huge deal and it’s so you know
you’re aware of that but you also I
don’t like to try and let all of that
noise affect my choices and my decisions
because ultimately if you live like that
then you you know I think it would it
would close me off to a lot of
opportunities and and experiences you
don’t pay a lot attention to reviews and
those kind of things well you know
you’re always affected by opinion but
the more opinions there are a view the
me the more I the less I look at them
because I just can’t live my life based
upon what other people think about it so
I can’t concern myself too much with
what other people think you know it’s
just not healthy I don’t think I can I
could continue to do what I do if I was
constantly worrying about what somebody
thought about it one of my friends
Daniel told me once if nobody hates you
you’re probably doing it wrong and
that’s just the case there’s all kinds
of trolls on the internet if you’re an
artist it comes with the job
you know these people don’t have
creativity so they spread what they have
to offer which is negativity in hopes to
bring you down that’s their contribution
to society and if anything we shouldn’t
be offended by it
we shouldn’t be hurt by it even though a
lot of the things that are said can be
hurtful if anything we should feel sorry
and pity for these people because all
they have to contribute is just
negativity and think about what it is to
live like that that’s miserable right
nish on the Internet I mean learn to
cook just anything they don’t have what
it takes to put the work out there but
you do they don’t have what it takes to
go out and create something and make
something and put it on the internet and
open themselves up to being vulnerable
to just put art out there for the world
to experience not everyone’s gonna like
it when you go see a movie you might not
like it your friend might like it
you might love it your girlfriend hates
it your boyfriend loves it you hate it
so it’s subjective art is subjective
that’s the best part about it it’s not
for everybody so don’t be discouraged by
the people telling you you’re a complete
idiot I can’t believe you did that this
video is complete garbage you suck
that’s fine like whatever you’re the one
sitting here putting in the work putting
that art out there into the world and
that is what’s going to open doors
there’s a cool Andy Warhol quote I
forget like the specifics of it but it’s
like make art and while people are
deciding if they like it or not make
more art ultimately doesn’t matter
I believe beauty is beyond size with so
much emphasis on the body and external
it’s no wonder that we all suffer so
much internally but you know people in
the fashion industry actually told me
that I would never be in magazines let
alone the covers of them well I guess
we’ve proven them wrong five covers in a
little over a year
and I was one of the very first curvy
models to be featured in Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
thank you never let anybody tell you
that you can’t I have achieved and I’m
still achieving what was seemingly
now I’ve got a really special will Faris
bonus rule on how to ignore the opinions
of other people but before that I want
to know what did you learn from this
video what was motivating inspiring for
you what change you’re gonna make in
your life after watching this video make
a difference leave it down in the
comments below I really want to hear
from you when you write it down you’re
much more likely to follow through thank
you guys so much for watching I believe
in you I hope we continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love see you soon and enjoy the
after my first show one review referred
to me as the most annoying newcomer of
the new cast someone showed this to me
and I promptly put it up on the wall of
my office reminding myself that to some
people I will be annoying some people
will not think I’m funny and that that’s
okay
one woman wrote to me and said she hated
my portrayal of George W Bush it was
mean-spirited not funny and besides you
have a fat face I wrote her back and I
said I appreciate your letter and she
was entitled to her opinion but that my
job as a comedian especially on a show
like Sara Night Live was to hold up a
mirror to our political leaders and
engage from time to time in satirical
reflection as for my fat face you are
100% right I’m trying to work on that
please don’t hesitate to write me again
if you feel like I’ve lost some weight
the venerable television critic for the
Washington Post Tom Shales came up to me
during my last season of the show he
told me congratulations on my time at
the show and then he apologized for
things he had written about me in some
of his early reviews of my work I paused
for a second before I spoke and then I
said how dare you you son of a bitch I
could tell this startled him and then I
told him I was kidding and that I’d
it was true I hadn’t read his reviews in
fact I didn’t read any reviews because
once again I was too busy throwing darts
at the dartboard
all the while facing my fears the most
important work ever if you had to think
of one word that’s most important to you
that sums you Apple so it would be like
a little beacon pay believe nation if
you want to know what the most important
one word is for Tony Robbins Gary
Vaynerchuk Oprah Winfrey will.i.am and
Howard Schultz I have a very special
secret video for you check the
description for details [Music]
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