I have five little rules that you can
follow as you find your spark and bring
your spark to life the first is to go
after the things that you want let me
tell you a story so a friend of mine and
I we went for a run in Central Park the
Roadrunners organization on the weekends
they host races and it’s very common at
the end of the race they’ll have a
sponsor who will give away something
apples or bagels or something and on
this particular day when we got to the
end of the run there were some free
bagels and they had picnic tables set up
and on one side was a group of
volunteers on the table were boxes of
bagels and on the other side was a long
line of runners waiting to get their
free bagel so I said to my friend let’s
let’s get a bagel and he looked at me
and said that lines too long and I said
free bagel and he said I don’t want to
wait in line and I was like free bagel
and he says not let’s it’s too long and
that’s when I realized that there’s two
ways to see the world some people see
the thing that they want and some people
see the thing that prevents them from
getting the thing that they want I could
only see the bagels he could only see
the line and so I walked up to the line
I leaned in between two people put my
hand in the box
and pulled out two bagels and no one get
mad at me because the rule is you can go
after whatever you want
you just cannot deny anyone else to go
after whatever they want
now I had to sacrifice choice I didn’t
get to choose which bagel I got I got
whatever I pulled out but I didn’t have
to wait in line so the point is is you
don’t have to wait in line you don’t
have to do it the way everybody else has
done it you can do it your way you can
break the rules you just can’t get in
the way of somebody else getting what
they want
[Music]
rule number two
in the 18th century
there was something that spread across
Europe and eventually made its way to
also known as the black death of
childbed basically what was happening is
women were
and they would die within 48 hours after
giving birth
this black death of childbirth
the ravage of Europe and it got worse
and worse and worse
divorce over century in some hospitals
it was as high as 70 percent of women
who gave birth who would die as a result
of people birth
but this was the Renaissance this was
the time of empirical data and science
and we had thrown away things like
tradition and mysticism these were men
of science these were doctors and these
doctors and men of science wanted to
study and try and find the reason for
this black death of childbed and so they
got to work studying and they would
study the corpses of the of the women
who had died and in the morning they
would conduct autopsies and then in the
afternoon they would go and deliver
babies and finish their rounds and it
wasn’t until somewhere in the mid 1800s
that dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes father of
Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell
Holmes realized that all of these
doctors who conducting autopsies in the
morning weren’t washing their hands
before they delivered babies in the
afternoon and he pointed it out and said
guys you’re the problem and they ignored
him and called him crazy
for 30 years until finally somebody
realized that if they simply washed
their hands it would go away and that’s
exactly what happened when they started
sterilizing their instruments and
washing their hands the black death of
childbed disappeared my point is the
lesson here is sometimes you’re the
problem
we’ve seen this happen all too recently
with our new men of science and
empirical studies these men of Finance
who are smarter than the rest of us
until the fing collapse and they blamed
everything else except themselves and my
point is is take accountability for your
actions you can take all the credit in
the world for the things that you do
right as long as you also take
responsibility for the things you do
wrong it must be a balanced equation you
don’t get it one way and not the other
you get to take credit when you also
take accountability that’s lesson 2
lesson 3 take care of each other the
United States Navy SEALs are perhaps the
most elite warriors in the world and one
of the seals was asked who makes it
through the selection process who is
able to become a seal and his answer was
I can’t tell you the kind of person that
becomes a seal I can’t tell you the kind
of person that makes it through buds
but I can tell you the kind of people
who don’t become seals
he says the guys that show up with huge
bulging muscles covered in tattoos who
want to prove to the world how tough
they are none of them make it through
he said the preening leaders who like to
delegate all their responsibilities and
never do anything themselves none of
them
said the star college athletes who have
never really been tested to the core of
their being
he says some of the guys that make it
through her skinny scorning said some of
the guys that make it through you will
see them shivering out of fear
says however
[Music]
when they find themselves physically
spent emotionally
nothing left to give physically or
emotionally somehow someway they are
able to find the energy to dig down deep
inside themselves to find the energy to
help the guy next to them they become
seals he said you want to be an elite
warrior it’s not about how tough you are
it’s not about how smart you are it’s
not about how fast you are if you want
to be an elite warrior
you better get really really good at
helping the person to the left of you
and helping the person to the right of
you because that’s how people advanced
in the world the world is too dangerous
in the world is too difficult for you to
think that you can do these things alone
if you find your spark I commend you now
who you gonna ask for help and when are
you gonna accept help when it’s offered
learn that skill learn by practicing
helping each other it’ll be the single
most valuable thing you ever learn in
your entire life to accept help when
it’s offered and to ask for it when you
know that you can’t do it the amazing
thing is when you learn to ask for help
you’ll discover that there are people
all around you who’ve always wanted to
help you they just didn’t think you
needed it because you kept pretending
that you had everything under control
and the minute you say I don’t know what
I’m doing I’m stuck I’m scared I don’t
think I can do this you will find that
lots of people who love you will rush in
and take care of you but that’ll only
happen if you learn to take care of them
lesson four Nelson Mandela is a
particularly special case study in the
leadership world because he is
universally regarded as a great leader
you can take other personalities and
depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities but Nelson Mandela across
the world is universally regarded as a
great leader he was actually the son of
a tribal chief and he was asked one day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded that he would go with
his father to tribal meetings and he
remembers two things when his father
would meet with other elders one they
would always sit in a circle and to his
father was always the last to speak
you’ll be told your whole life
I would say that you need to learn to be
the last to speak I see it in boardrooms
every day of the week even people who
consider themselves good leaders who may
actually be a decent leaders will walk
into a room and say here’s the problem
here’s what I think but I’m interested
in your opinion let’s go around the room
it’s too late
the skill to hold your opinions to
yourself until everyone has spoken
it’s one it gives everybody else the
feeling that they have been heard the
giving gives everyone else the ability
to feel that they have contributed and
two you get the benefit of hearing what
everybody else has to think before you
render the skill is really to keep your
opinions to yourself if you agree with
somebody don’t not yes if you disagree
with somebody
simply sit there take it all in and the
only thing you’re allowed to do is ask
questions so that you can understand
what they
and why they have the opinion that they
had you must understand from where they
are speaking why they have the opinion
they have not just what they are saying
and at the end you will get your turn
it sounds easy it’s not practice being
the last to speak
that’s what Nelson Mandela did number
three number five this Monty Python one
two five three four all the other nerds
in the audience there’s one number five
my favorite one of all true story there
was a former Undersecretary of Defense
who was invited to give a speech at a
large conference about a thousand people
and he was standing on the stage with
his cup of coffee in a Styrofoam cup
giving his prepared remarks with his
PowerPoint behind him and he took a sip
of his coffee and he smiled and he
looked down at the coffee and then he
went off-script and he said you know
last year I spoke at this exact same
conference last year I was still the
undersecretary and when I spoke here
last year they flew me here business
class and when I arrived at the airport
there was somebody waiting for me to
take me to my hotel and they took me to
my hotel and they had already checked me
in and they just took me up to my room
and the next morning I came downstairs
and there was someone waiting in the
lobby to greet me and they drove me to
this here same venue they took me
through the back entrance and took me
into the green room and handed me a copy
cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup
he says I’m no longer the undersecretary
I flew here coach I took a taxi to my
hotel and I checked myself in when I
came down the lobby this morning I took
another taxi to this venue I came in the
front door and found my way backstage
and when I asked someone do you have any
coffee he pointed to the coffee machine
the corner and I poured myself a cup of
coffee into this here Styrofoam cup he
says the lesson is the ceramic cup was
never meant for me it was meant for the
position I held I deserved a Styrofoam
cup remember this as you gain Fame as
you gain fortune as you gain position
and seniority people will treat you
better and will hold doors open for you
they will get you a cup of tea and
coffee without you even asking they will
call you sir and man and they would give
you stuff none of that stuff is meant
for you that stuff is meant for the
position you hold is meant for the level
that you have achieved of leader or
success or whatever you want to call it
but
we’ll always deserve a Styrofoam cup
remember that remember that lesson of
humility and gratitude you can accept
all the free stuff you can accept all
the perks absolutely you could enjoy
them but just be grateful for them and
know that they’re not for you
I remember getting off the Acela it took
the Acela from New York to Washington DC
and I got off the train like everybody
else and I was walking down the platform
like everyone else and I walked past
general nori Schwartz who used to be a
chief of staff of the United States Air
Force the head of the Air Force and here
I did you see a guy in a suit slepping
his own suitcase down the platform just
like me
and just a couple months ago he was
flying on private jets and an entourage
and other people carried his light
luggage but he no longer held the
position and so now he got to drag his
own suitcase and never did it sort of
remind me more that none of us deserve
the perks that we get we all deserve a Styrofoam cup
follow as you find your spark and bring
your spark to life the first is to go
after the things that you want let me
tell you a story so a friend of mine and
I we went for a run in Central Park the
Roadrunners organization on the weekends
they host races and it’s very common at
the end of the race they’ll have a
sponsor who will give away something
apples or bagels or something and on
this particular day when we got to the
end of the run there were some free
bagels and they had picnic tables set up
and on one side was a group of
volunteers on the table were boxes of
bagels and on the other side was a long
line of runners waiting to get their
free bagel so I said to my friend let’s
let’s get a bagel and he looked at me
and said that lines too long and I said
free bagel and he said I don’t want to
wait in line and I was like free bagel
and he says not let’s it’s too long and
that’s when I realized that there’s two
ways to see the world some people see
the thing that they want and some people
see the thing that prevents them from
getting the thing that they want I could
only see the bagels he could only see
the line and so I walked up to the line
I leaned in between two people put my
hand in the box
and pulled out two bagels and no one get
mad at me because the rule is you can go
after whatever you want
you just cannot deny anyone else to go
after whatever they want
now I had to sacrifice choice I didn’t
get to choose which bagel I got I got
whatever I pulled out but I didn’t have
to wait in line so the point is is you
don’t have to wait in line you don’t
have to do it the way everybody else has
done it you can do it your way you can
break the rules you just can’t get in
the way of somebody else getting what
they want
[Music]
rule number two
in the 18th century
there was something that spread across
Europe and eventually made its way to
also known as the black death of
childbed basically what was happening is
women were
and they would die within 48 hours after
giving birth
this black death of childbirth
the ravage of Europe and it got worse
and worse and worse
divorce over century in some hospitals
it was as high as 70 percent of women
who gave birth who would die as a result
of people birth
but this was the Renaissance this was
the time of empirical data and science
and we had thrown away things like
tradition and mysticism these were men
of science these were doctors and these
doctors and men of science wanted to
study and try and find the reason for
this black death of childbed and so they
got to work studying and they would
study the corpses of the of the women
who had died and in the morning they
would conduct autopsies and then in the
afternoon they would go and deliver
babies and finish their rounds and it
wasn’t until somewhere in the mid 1800s
that dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes father of
Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell
Holmes realized that all of these
doctors who conducting autopsies in the
morning weren’t washing their hands
before they delivered babies in the
afternoon and he pointed it out and said
guys you’re the problem and they ignored
him and called him crazy
for 30 years until finally somebody
realized that if they simply washed
their hands it would go away and that’s
exactly what happened when they started
sterilizing their instruments and
washing their hands the black death of
childbed disappeared my point is the
lesson here is sometimes you’re the
problem
we’ve seen this happen all too recently
with our new men of science and
empirical studies these men of Finance
who are smarter than the rest of us
until the fing collapse and they blamed
everything else except themselves and my
point is is take accountability for your
actions you can take all the credit in
the world for the things that you do
right as long as you also take
responsibility for the things you do
wrong it must be a balanced equation you
don’t get it one way and not the other
you get to take credit when you also
take accountability that’s lesson 2
lesson 3 take care of each other the
United States Navy SEALs are perhaps the
most elite warriors in the world and one
of the seals was asked who makes it
through the selection process who is
able to become a seal and his answer was
I can’t tell you the kind of person that
becomes a seal I can’t tell you the kind
of person that makes it through buds
but I can tell you the kind of people
who don’t become seals
he says the guys that show up with huge
bulging muscles covered in tattoos who
want to prove to the world how tough
they are none of them make it through
he said the preening leaders who like to
delegate all their responsibilities and
never do anything themselves none of
them
said the star college athletes who have
never really been tested to the core of
their being
he says some of the guys that make it
through her skinny scorning said some of
the guys that make it through you will
see them shivering out of fear
says however
[Music]
when they find themselves physically
spent emotionally
nothing left to give physically or
emotionally somehow someway they are
able to find the energy to dig down deep
inside themselves to find the energy to
help the guy next to them they become
seals he said you want to be an elite
warrior it’s not about how tough you are
it’s not about how smart you are it’s
not about how fast you are if you want
to be an elite warrior
you better get really really good at
helping the person to the left of you
and helping the person to the right of
you because that’s how people advanced
in the world the world is too dangerous
in the world is too difficult for you to
think that you can do these things alone
if you find your spark I commend you now
who you gonna ask for help and when are
you gonna accept help when it’s offered
learn that skill learn by practicing
helping each other it’ll be the single
most valuable thing you ever learn in
your entire life to accept help when
it’s offered and to ask for it when you
know that you can’t do it the amazing
thing is when you learn to ask for help
you’ll discover that there are people
all around you who’ve always wanted to
help you they just didn’t think you
needed it because you kept pretending
that you had everything under control
and the minute you say I don’t know what
I’m doing I’m stuck I’m scared I don’t
think I can do this you will find that
lots of people who love you will rush in
and take care of you but that’ll only
happen if you learn to take care of them
lesson four Nelson Mandela is a
particularly special case study in the
leadership world because he is
universally regarded as a great leader
you can take other personalities and
depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities but Nelson Mandela across
the world is universally regarded as a
great leader he was actually the son of
a tribal chief and he was asked one day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded that he would go with
his father to tribal meetings and he
remembers two things when his father
would meet with other elders one they
would always sit in a circle and to his
father was always the last to speak
you’ll be told your whole life
I would say that you need to learn to be
the last to speak I see it in boardrooms
every day of the week even people who
consider themselves good leaders who may
actually be a decent leaders will walk
into a room and say here’s the problem
here’s what I think but I’m interested
in your opinion let’s go around the room
it’s too late
the skill to hold your opinions to
yourself until everyone has spoken
it’s one it gives everybody else the
feeling that they have been heard the
giving gives everyone else the ability
to feel that they have contributed and
two you get the benefit of hearing what
everybody else has to think before you
render the skill is really to keep your
opinions to yourself if you agree with
somebody don’t not yes if you disagree
with somebody
simply sit there take it all in and the
only thing you’re allowed to do is ask
questions so that you can understand
what they
and why they have the opinion that they
had you must understand from where they
are speaking why they have the opinion
they have not just what they are saying
and at the end you will get your turn
it sounds easy it’s not practice being
the last to speak
that’s what Nelson Mandela did number
three number five this Monty Python one
two five three four all the other nerds
in the audience there’s one number five
my favorite one of all true story there
was a former Undersecretary of Defense
who was invited to give a speech at a
large conference about a thousand people
and he was standing on the stage with
his cup of coffee in a Styrofoam cup
giving his prepared remarks with his
PowerPoint behind him and he took a sip
of his coffee and he smiled and he
looked down at the coffee and then he
went off-script and he said you know
last year I spoke at this exact same
conference last year I was still the
undersecretary and when I spoke here
last year they flew me here business
class and when I arrived at the airport
there was somebody waiting for me to
take me to my hotel and they took me to
my hotel and they had already checked me
in and they just took me up to my room
and the next morning I came downstairs
and there was someone waiting in the
lobby to greet me and they drove me to
this here same venue they took me
through the back entrance and took me
into the green room and handed me a copy
cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup
he says I’m no longer the undersecretary
I flew here coach I took a taxi to my
hotel and I checked myself in when I
came down the lobby this morning I took
another taxi to this venue I came in the
front door and found my way backstage
and when I asked someone do you have any
coffee he pointed to the coffee machine
the corner and I poured myself a cup of
coffee into this here Styrofoam cup he
says the lesson is the ceramic cup was
never meant for me it was meant for the
position I held I deserved a Styrofoam
cup remember this as you gain Fame as
you gain fortune as you gain position
and seniority people will treat you
better and will hold doors open for you
they will get you a cup of tea and
coffee without you even asking they will
call you sir and man and they would give
you stuff none of that stuff is meant
for you that stuff is meant for the
position you hold is meant for the level
that you have achieved of leader or
success or whatever you want to call it
but
we’ll always deserve a Styrofoam cup
remember that remember that lesson of
humility and gratitude you can accept
all the free stuff you can accept all
the perks absolutely you could enjoy
them but just be grateful for them and
know that they’re not for you
I remember getting off the Acela it took
the Acela from New York to Washington DC
and I got off the train like everybody
else and I was walking down the platform
like everyone else and I walked past
general nori Schwartz who used to be a
chief of staff of the United States Air
Force the head of the Air Force and here
I did you see a guy in a suit slepping
his own suitcase down the platform just
like me
and just a couple months ago he was
flying on private jets and an entourage
and other people carried his light
luggage but he no longer held the
position and so now he got to drag his
own suitcase and never did it sort of
remind me more that none of us deserve
the perks that we get we all deserve a Styrofoam cup
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