so what we have to do is learn how to
take this ego of ours this part of us
that believes that who we are is what we
have and what we do and what other
people think of us but remember if you
grow up believing that you are what you
do then when you don’t you aren’t and if
you believe that you are what you have
when it’s gone you aren’t and if you
believe that you are what other people
think of you your reputation which we
raise people to believe it’s my I have
to be concerned with what other people
think of me take this ego and retrain it
and one of the ways that you do to
retrain it is first you take this idea
that the ego has of fear what are you
afraid of anybody out there what are you
afraid of shift from fear to curiosity
become curious about what you’re afraid
of that’s what Lao Tzu taught me become
curious about what you’re afraid of
you’re afraid of flying get curious
about that get interested in that you’re
afraid of snakes you’re afraid of
disapproval your face yes shift from
fear and say I’m going to become more
curious about what I’m afraid of and
then take all of the things that you’re
attached to like all of your photographs
like all of your furniture like all of
your clothing like all of the stuff that
you find so much attachment to and start
letting it go certain letting it go you
know the day that I turned that key on
made the 11th and 2006 I didn’t even
know where I was going I just knew there
was a shift taking place I felt freer
than I ever felt I think in my life in
my mid-60s out there on a whole new
adventure and here we are talking about
on on national television on PBS take
that idea that you have to be attached
to things and know that you came in with
nothing with no things and you’re going
to leave with nothing with no things and
understand that your life is a
parenthesis and eternity
lives there without attachments and then
take your need
to be in control of yourself of others
of the situation and shift from control
to trust begin to have it so loud sue is
profound about this and each one of the
81 verses it comes up about 60 times as
you look at letting go and letting God
allowing yourself to trust in your
nature allowing yourself to no longer
believe that everything has to be
controlled by me and that other people
no longer have to be in control of me as
well begin to trust instruct just like
you did for the first nine months you
trusted your nose showed up your height
showed up your eyes showed up whatever
it all showed up it’s all perfect it’s
all the – why not wander through your
life and have this wonderful peaceful
knowing that it’s all fine and finally
shift from your sense of entitlement
what nobody nobody can treat me that way
I’m entitled to have this while I paid
for that I let’s go I’m exact in one
year I let go of all of my entitlements
I have I don’t feel I’m entitled to
anything
I’m just here shift from entitlements to
radical humility
Lao Tzu speaks about it so often stay
humble stay low the greatest leaders are
the ones who do the least the ones who
stay back and just model and allow and
at the end of the day in one of the
verses of the valid says the people will
say we did it ourselves we did it
ourselves in verse 49 of the daodejing
here’s an exact quote the sage is kind
to the kind and kind to the unkind
because the nature of his being is
kindness and also be wise and help all
beings impartially abandoning none
you know what I do just before I did
this program I have to admit I was
nervous I was humbled by it I cool are
you Wayne Dyer who are you to read the
Dow and believe that you can interpret
it on television and interpret it in a
book and spend a year and like I got
real humbled with letting you know what
I say Dow it’s just another word for God
or source or Krishna or Allah or
whatever you want to call it guide me
guide me now I have that awareness
before I come out of you if you new says
in the Course in Miracles if you knew
who walked beside you at all times on
this path that you have chosen you could
never experience fear or doubt again I
remember mother Teresa saying to a dear
friend of mine who was asking what could
he do what could he do to do something
for her he was a name of Pat McMahon he
was on KTR radio and Phoenix and he
finally mother Teresa said to him you
can do something for me she said
tomorrow morning get up at 4 a.m. and go
out onto the streets of Phoenix and find
someone who’s living there who believes
that he’s alone and convinced him that
he’s not that’s what you think is that’s
how same stuff that’s how those loud sue
spoke ok let’s go on to the next stop to
change so you’re changing from not
trusting in your nature to trusting in
your nature your change your thoughts
from I need more to what I call living
contentment what is this thing about
more it’s the if the mantra of the ego
isn’t it I have to have more I have to
collect more stuff I have to have more
friends I have to have more money it’s
more and more and more more and more
when where you came from came from
nowhere you don’t need anything it’s a
continuous bombardment that we are all
exposed to in this whole world of
believing that we have to have more one
of the reasons why I love Public
Television so much you don’t see ads on
PBS you don’t have to be constantly
exposed to the idea that you have to
have more and you have to get more and
if you don’t have this then you’re not
complete and so on so we get bombarded
with this idea of attracting more and
Lao Tzu says live contentment live in a
state of being contented here’s verse 81
the last verse of the daodejing my
favorite translation of it and I put it
right into the book stages do not
accumulate anything but give everything
to others having more the more they give
it’s a great lesson my son fans who’s
you know that were very very close we
just spent a couple of months together
over Maui just just being together just
being it was a divine time and he came
home with was last summer he came home
with four t-shirts that he loved and I
said well I said which one do you like
the best
he still allowed that one over there
that blue one it’s got the line and it’s
got the drawing and it’s got a surfer
infinity said that’s great I said I’d
like to have that one he said not on
that that’s my favorite that’s the one I
that’s the one I like the best I said I
know I said that’s the one would you
mind if I had that one he said I would
mind a lot you have talent he said maybe
you can have one I’m not so crazy about
this one over here I said so you’re
going to give me something you don’t
like you know I said I want that’s the
one I love that but we have the same
tape could I have that one he’s dead
you’re crazy he said you can’t have my
favorite he said I said well I want you
to think about that I want you to think
about detaching and letting go and not
needing to have more and he’s heard me
talk about this stuff his entire life so
finally he just you know I went in and I
tried it on and I said I distinguished
so great
looking in the mirror and looking bad
that that really is mine I said yeah I
said but you’re gonna give it to me he
said no no I could say well just think
about it you know because I I’m your dad
and I’d really like to have this so he
reluctantly parted with it and so the
next ice the next that evening I was
still wearing the shirt and he looked at
me and he said that’s my shirt I said
you know tans I said that you gave me
the shirt I said I’m gonna wear this
shirt until you are happy that I have
your favorite show I’m going to I’m
never going to take it off until you are
happy he said well you’ll be wearing
that shirt a long time said well that’s
okay so I wore it the next day I got up
I slept in it that night I got up in it
I did okay cut up the next morning I put
it on and that fans would come in and
look at me oh you’re still not happy
that you gave me something that you
really loved because that this is what
it really means to be a sage this is
what it means to be a divine being to be
someone who’s willing to part with not
the things they don’t like but what they
do like I wore it the next day I wore it
the next day I worked for two weeks take
it off only to wash it put it right back
on two solid weeks he’s one of my
children will cut it finally one day he
said dad I’m so happy I am so thrilled
that you have that t-shirt I said oh
that’s great I can finally take this
thing off I’m going on I’m going to just
give it away
but it’s like what a great lesson in
that the idea that you take you know
there’s a rule it’s called the 80/20
rule
and in the 80/20 rule it says everything
that you have all of your stuff 20% of
it is what you use all of your clothes
in your closet 23 just keep using the
same 20% over 80% of the clothing that
you have in your in your closet for so
many people is something that you never
use you don’t work you look at it you
store it you think well there might come
a day I can’t part with that even though
you’ve been carting it around every time
you move you move in a new foot
take the 80% that you don’t use so it’s
love – and give it away give it away
loves who says that when your cup is
full stop for it when your cup is full
stop chlorine we have an obesity crisis
in the United States in the Western
world the obesity crisis can be handled
if you just read the doll if you realize
in verse 33 it says if you realize you
have enough you are truly rich if you
could just learn something called
portion control where you just take a
bite and you say is my cup full stop
stop calling in other words instead of
filling yourself with with that which is
already a surplus and the dollar teaches
us to take surpluses and to reduce them
and to take deficiencies and increase
them so that we create balance in our
lives to be in balance you can take the
jewelry that you don’t use you can take
the clothing it and then once you’ve
given away the 80% that you don’t use
take one of the things that you’ll
freely like in fact is giving that away
it’s such a wonderful way listen to this
poem it was written by a a great Persian
poet named Hafiz says even after all
this time the son never says to the
earth you owe me
just look what happens with a love like
that it lights up the whole sky it
lights up the whole sky there’s no
always there’s no always you don’t have
to be you can practice living a state of
contentment this was so powerful for me
you just can’t imagine how good it felt
for one entire year to walk through
every day and say I’m content I’m
content I start out every morning of my
life the first words javi says if
there’s only one prayer that you say
every day make it thank you just say
thank you that’s how I start wake up
thank you God thank you thank you source
Thank You Dow whatever you want to call
the opening line of the Dow says the Dow
that can be named is not the Dow
as soon as you put a name on it it
dissolves there’s no name for it it’s
just endlessly invisibly constantly in a
state of creating out of a state of love
the next thought that the doll teaches
us to change change your thoughts change
your life you really do see so much of
the previous PBS specials that I’ve done
on inspiration and intention these were
teaching people generically how to think
differently what Lao Tzu taught me was
what to specifically think in place of
thinking back instead of thinking that I
don’t trust my nature he could trust
your nature instead of saying I need
more he said you need less more is less
that comes right out of the dollar next
thought move from thinking in a rigid
way to thinking and being flexible soft
and allowing from rigidity to softness
what a wonderful transformation that is
I was standing looking at with my son
fan and we were on Maui and we were
looking at water
as water was going against some rocks
and some cliffs and so on and in these
pictures in this in this moment I said
to my son I said which do you think is
stronger the water or the clip the water
or the rock which one do you think is
more powerful and stronger and he said
well he said the rocks obviously they’re
stronger and they’re bigger and only
said but I said water is very very
patient isn’t it
how much chance to those rocks have if
there were if they want to survive I
mean what chance do they have that would
and and Lao Tzu is speaking to us about
understanding our nature by examining
how nature works and then making it
apply to our thoughts so that a soft
thought a thought that isn’t a rigid
thought a thought that doesn’t say you
have to be this way or you have to be
that way a thought that is not stiff a
thought that water he there are so many
references to water and what we can
learn from water here 75% water the
planet is 75% water we are water the
rest of us is just muscled water it’s
just it’s all water and water is soft
water can enter anywhere you get into a
conflict with somebody else and you
picture yourself as water you can enter
with water in any place that there’s an
opening if you can visualize yourself as
a being who moves into the space of
water if you can see yourself that way
you can just enter into those places and
the people that you love and your
children and your spouse and anyone at
all and and enter there softly here’s
verse 8 the supreme good is water which
nourishes all things without trying to
and verse 78 right smack out of the DAO
nothing in the world is softer and
weaker than water but for attacking the
heart the unyielding nothing can surpass
it there is nothing like it
here it is I asked when they designed
this set this beautiful set of Thank You
designers for this I asked if I could
have water on the I mistake they did it
they figured it out there’s a now I’m
going to try to get some of this water
okay so you get down here and it just
stops Allen to scoop this up at night
okay no tighter you hold it the less
chance you have of doing anything with
it isn’t it how can I experience water
the way to experience water is to just
get saw just get unbending and there it
is that’s what water is the minute that
glass but the minute I try and Lao Tzu
is saying the same thing is true in
everything in your life the more you
grasp the more you try to hold on to it
the more you try to be rigid with it the
less control you have of the softer you
are the less rigid you are the more
flexible you are as a person
the more you can accomplish it and this
is a great way to practice and parenting
as well and this idea that a rigid
thought how many times have you heard
this idea that if I tell you something
I’m going to stay consistent with it we
have a set of rules these are the rules
and we’ll do it this way in the dialogue
says the more rules you make the more
rule breakers you create
it’s true the more rules you have in
your house about how everything has to
go we had in our house my wife would
have a big jar of M&M peanuts you know
different with all these different
multicolored ones in – and the kids in
our house because we didn’t feed them
sugar and we didn’t give them sodas and
stuff like that so they you know they
were just more like a decoration every
once in a while someone would take them
and they’d hardly ever be replaced now
when we had kids come over to our house
who weren’t ever allowed to have such
horrible things you should have seen
their behavior you know they would scoop
them up they’d be putting them in their
pocket and then get their purses and
they’d open it up you know the whole
thing would be empty I said what are you
doing well well you mean you could just
have these whenever you want them like a
book we don’t really have any rules
about that it’s just it’s not something
that we encourage or discourage it’s
just there it’s like Emerson had a
wonderful line he said a foolish
consistency is the hobgoblin of little
minds a foolish consistency a rigid
consistency so that there are many
people who will say if I say it on
Monday you can be absolutely certain
that on Wednesday I’m going to believe
the same thing regardless of what might
happen on Tuesday now Tuesday might have
something real that you might want to be
changing your mind you might want to say
you know I thought that this time but
now I’ve seen this and now we can shift
and you can see how this can become when
and so much about the dollars on
leadership leadership in the family
leadership in the community leadership
geopolitically less rigidity more
openness more willingness to listen and
say I changed my mind
because a foolish consistency is the
hobgoblin of little minds and what I
believed on Wednesday has changed
because of what happened on Tuesday now
another important thing to say to your
children to your friends to your lover
to your spouse’s to
ever to the people you work with word
that were so terrified to say but which
give us a sense of living with the Dow I
don’t know I don’t know I’ll look it up
say it
I don’t know doesn’t hurt say it again
I don’t know isn’t it fearful I’m like
so many people and it’s like very
freeing because my kids call ask me
something of it I don’t know they say
dad do you know everything you know
everything I said well I don’t know that
and I’ll look it up I will try to find
an answer to that but I don’t quite know
I know that what even you know I spent
20 years running and I ran every day for
20 years 22 years without missing a day
8 miles never missed a Vic that’s
Richard all right some call that
obsessive but you brush your teeth every
day I used to say and you don’t call
that obsessive and then you go to the
bathroom every day and you don’t think
well he’s obsessively doing that again
today you don’t do that but anyway what
I learned is that in even in the world
of exercise there are certain things
that are built in to make us rigid to
make us stiff to make us hard and we
lift and we run and we kick and we this
is what we call get working out there’s
another kind of working out that this
ancient it goes back to the time of Lao
Tzu and before which is called yoga and
yoga means Union it means union with
your source and when you do yoga you can
stay in the same place you can do the
equivalent of 8 miles when I used to run
8 miles I had to run four miles that way
turn around four miles back and I’d be
sweating now I can do yoga and I can
just stand in one place in a 90 minute
by being supple by making myself stretch
by not being hard and rigid I can you
know I can get that out there I can get
that leg up I can do these kinds of
things and 90 and 90 minutes later you
know it’s like I’m totally sweating
until then I feel so different I used to
when I would go out at night to eat or
something after running so many miles
running marathons and
another thing I’d go to get up and it
would be okay it’s going to take a
little while okay and everything works
out like a that doesn’t happen anymore
because I’ve given up hard
I’ve given up being rigid and
substituted it for being supple for
being flexible for living a life in
which I don’t have to always be so
fierce listen to this verse of the
daodejing one of my all-time favorites
verse number 76 a man is born gentle and
weak at his death he becomes hard and
stiff all things including the grass and
the trees are soft and pliable in life
dry and brittle in depth stiffness is
thus a companion in death flexibility is
a companion in life and it’s not just
for how you exercise it’s how you think
how you think
take this ego of ours this part of us
that believes that who we are is what we
have and what we do and what other
people think of us but remember if you
grow up believing that you are what you
do then when you don’t you aren’t and if
you believe that you are what you have
when it’s gone you aren’t and if you
believe that you are what other people
think of you your reputation which we
raise people to believe it’s my I have
to be concerned with what other people
think of me take this ego and retrain it
and one of the ways that you do to
retrain it is first you take this idea
that the ego has of fear what are you
afraid of anybody out there what are you
afraid of shift from fear to curiosity
become curious about what you’re afraid
of that’s what Lao Tzu taught me become
curious about what you’re afraid of
you’re afraid of flying get curious
about that get interested in that you’re
afraid of snakes you’re afraid of
disapproval your face yes shift from
fear and say I’m going to become more
curious about what I’m afraid of and
then take all of the things that you’re
attached to like all of your photographs
like all of your furniture like all of
your clothing like all of the stuff that
you find so much attachment to and start
letting it go certain letting it go you
know the day that I turned that key on
made the 11th and 2006 I didn’t even
know where I was going I just knew there
was a shift taking place I felt freer
than I ever felt I think in my life in
my mid-60s out there on a whole new
adventure and here we are talking about
on on national television on PBS take
that idea that you have to be attached
to things and know that you came in with
nothing with no things and you’re going
to leave with nothing with no things and
understand that your life is a
parenthesis and eternity
lives there without attachments and then
take your need
to be in control of yourself of others
of the situation and shift from control
to trust begin to have it so loud sue is
profound about this and each one of the
81 verses it comes up about 60 times as
you look at letting go and letting God
allowing yourself to trust in your
nature allowing yourself to no longer
believe that everything has to be
controlled by me and that other people
no longer have to be in control of me as
well begin to trust instruct just like
you did for the first nine months you
trusted your nose showed up your height
showed up your eyes showed up whatever
it all showed up it’s all perfect it’s
all the – why not wander through your
life and have this wonderful peaceful
knowing that it’s all fine and finally
shift from your sense of entitlement
what nobody nobody can treat me that way
I’m entitled to have this while I paid
for that I let’s go I’m exact in one
year I let go of all of my entitlements
I have I don’t feel I’m entitled to
anything
I’m just here shift from entitlements to
radical humility
Lao Tzu speaks about it so often stay
humble stay low the greatest leaders are
the ones who do the least the ones who
stay back and just model and allow and
at the end of the day in one of the
verses of the valid says the people will
say we did it ourselves we did it
ourselves in verse 49 of the daodejing
here’s an exact quote the sage is kind
to the kind and kind to the unkind
because the nature of his being is
kindness and also be wise and help all
beings impartially abandoning none
you know what I do just before I did
this program I have to admit I was
nervous I was humbled by it I cool are
you Wayne Dyer who are you to read the
Dow and believe that you can interpret
it on television and interpret it in a
book and spend a year and like I got
real humbled with letting you know what
I say Dow it’s just another word for God
or source or Krishna or Allah or
whatever you want to call it guide me
guide me now I have that awareness
before I come out of you if you new says
in the Course in Miracles if you knew
who walked beside you at all times on
this path that you have chosen you could
never experience fear or doubt again I
remember mother Teresa saying to a dear
friend of mine who was asking what could
he do what could he do to do something
for her he was a name of Pat McMahon he
was on KTR radio and Phoenix and he
finally mother Teresa said to him you
can do something for me she said
tomorrow morning get up at 4 a.m. and go
out onto the streets of Phoenix and find
someone who’s living there who believes
that he’s alone and convinced him that
he’s not that’s what you think is that’s
how same stuff that’s how those loud sue
spoke ok let’s go on to the next stop to
change so you’re changing from not
trusting in your nature to trusting in
your nature your change your thoughts
from I need more to what I call living
contentment what is this thing about
more it’s the if the mantra of the ego
isn’t it I have to have more I have to
collect more stuff I have to have more
friends I have to have more money it’s
more and more and more more and more
when where you came from came from
nowhere you don’t need anything it’s a
continuous bombardment that we are all
exposed to in this whole world of
believing that we have to have more one
of the reasons why I love Public
Television so much you don’t see ads on
PBS you don’t have to be constantly
exposed to the idea that you have to
have more and you have to get more and
if you don’t have this then you’re not
complete and so on so we get bombarded
with this idea of attracting more and
Lao Tzu says live contentment live in a
state of being contented here’s verse 81
the last verse of the daodejing my
favorite translation of it and I put it
right into the book stages do not
accumulate anything but give everything
to others having more the more they give
it’s a great lesson my son fans who’s
you know that were very very close we
just spent a couple of months together
over Maui just just being together just
being it was a divine time and he came
home with was last summer he came home
with four t-shirts that he loved and I
said well I said which one do you like
the best
he still allowed that one over there
that blue one it’s got the line and it’s
got the drawing and it’s got a surfer
infinity said that’s great I said I’d
like to have that one he said not on
that that’s my favorite that’s the one I
that’s the one I like the best I said I
know I said that’s the one would you
mind if I had that one he said I would
mind a lot you have talent he said maybe
you can have one I’m not so crazy about
this one over here I said so you’re
going to give me something you don’t
like you know I said I want that’s the
one I love that but we have the same
tape could I have that one he’s dead
you’re crazy he said you can’t have my
favorite he said I said well I want you
to think about that I want you to think
about detaching and letting go and not
needing to have more and he’s heard me
talk about this stuff his entire life so
finally he just you know I went in and I
tried it on and I said I distinguished
so great
looking in the mirror and looking bad
that that really is mine I said yeah I
said but you’re gonna give it to me he
said no no I could say well just think
about it you know because I I’m your dad
and I’d really like to have this so he
reluctantly parted with it and so the
next ice the next that evening I was
still wearing the shirt and he looked at
me and he said that’s my shirt I said
you know tans I said that you gave me
the shirt I said I’m gonna wear this
shirt until you are happy that I have
your favorite show I’m going to I’m
never going to take it off until you are
happy he said well you’ll be wearing
that shirt a long time said well that’s
okay so I wore it the next day I got up
I slept in it that night I got up in it
I did okay cut up the next morning I put
it on and that fans would come in and
look at me oh you’re still not happy
that you gave me something that you
really loved because that this is what
it really means to be a sage this is
what it means to be a divine being to be
someone who’s willing to part with not
the things they don’t like but what they
do like I wore it the next day I wore it
the next day I worked for two weeks take
it off only to wash it put it right back
on two solid weeks he’s one of my
children will cut it finally one day he
said dad I’m so happy I am so thrilled
that you have that t-shirt I said oh
that’s great I can finally take this
thing off I’m going on I’m going to just
give it away
but it’s like what a great lesson in
that the idea that you take you know
there’s a rule it’s called the 80/20
rule
and in the 80/20 rule it says everything
that you have all of your stuff 20% of
it is what you use all of your clothes
in your closet 23 just keep using the
same 20% over 80% of the clothing that
you have in your in your closet for so
many people is something that you never
use you don’t work you look at it you
store it you think well there might come
a day I can’t part with that even though
you’ve been carting it around every time
you move you move in a new foot
take the 80% that you don’t use so it’s
love – and give it away give it away
loves who says that when your cup is
full stop for it when your cup is full
stop chlorine we have an obesity crisis
in the United States in the Western
world the obesity crisis can be handled
if you just read the doll if you realize
in verse 33 it says if you realize you
have enough you are truly rich if you
could just learn something called
portion control where you just take a
bite and you say is my cup full stop
stop calling in other words instead of
filling yourself with with that which is
already a surplus and the dollar teaches
us to take surpluses and to reduce them
and to take deficiencies and increase
them so that we create balance in our
lives to be in balance you can take the
jewelry that you don’t use you can take
the clothing it and then once you’ve
given away the 80% that you don’t use
take one of the things that you’ll
freely like in fact is giving that away
it’s such a wonderful way listen to this
poem it was written by a a great Persian
poet named Hafiz says even after all
this time the son never says to the
earth you owe me
just look what happens with a love like
that it lights up the whole sky it
lights up the whole sky there’s no
always there’s no always you don’t have
to be you can practice living a state of
contentment this was so powerful for me
you just can’t imagine how good it felt
for one entire year to walk through
every day and say I’m content I’m
content I start out every morning of my
life the first words javi says if
there’s only one prayer that you say
every day make it thank you just say
thank you that’s how I start wake up
thank you God thank you thank you source
Thank You Dow whatever you want to call
the opening line of the Dow says the Dow
that can be named is not the Dow
as soon as you put a name on it it
dissolves there’s no name for it it’s
just endlessly invisibly constantly in a
state of creating out of a state of love
the next thought that the doll teaches
us to change change your thoughts change
your life you really do see so much of
the previous PBS specials that I’ve done
on inspiration and intention these were
teaching people generically how to think
differently what Lao Tzu taught me was
what to specifically think in place of
thinking back instead of thinking that I
don’t trust my nature he could trust
your nature instead of saying I need
more he said you need less more is less
that comes right out of the dollar next
thought move from thinking in a rigid
way to thinking and being flexible soft
and allowing from rigidity to softness
what a wonderful transformation that is
I was standing looking at with my son
fan and we were on Maui and we were
looking at water
as water was going against some rocks
and some cliffs and so on and in these
pictures in this in this moment I said
to my son I said which do you think is
stronger the water or the clip the water
or the rock which one do you think is
more powerful and stronger and he said
well he said the rocks obviously they’re
stronger and they’re bigger and only
said but I said water is very very
patient isn’t it
how much chance to those rocks have if
there were if they want to survive I
mean what chance do they have that would
and and Lao Tzu is speaking to us about
understanding our nature by examining
how nature works and then making it
apply to our thoughts so that a soft
thought a thought that isn’t a rigid
thought a thought that doesn’t say you
have to be this way or you have to be
that way a thought that is not stiff a
thought that water he there are so many
references to water and what we can
learn from water here 75% water the
planet is 75% water we are water the
rest of us is just muscled water it’s
just it’s all water and water is soft
water can enter anywhere you get into a
conflict with somebody else and you
picture yourself as water you can enter
with water in any place that there’s an
opening if you can visualize yourself as
a being who moves into the space of
water if you can see yourself that way
you can just enter into those places and
the people that you love and your
children and your spouse and anyone at
all and and enter there softly here’s
verse 8 the supreme good is water which
nourishes all things without trying to
and verse 78 right smack out of the DAO
nothing in the world is softer and
weaker than water but for attacking the
heart the unyielding nothing can surpass
it there is nothing like it
here it is I asked when they designed
this set this beautiful set of Thank You
designers for this I asked if I could
have water on the I mistake they did it
they figured it out there’s a now I’m
going to try to get some of this water
okay so you get down here and it just
stops Allen to scoop this up at night
okay no tighter you hold it the less
chance you have of doing anything with
it isn’t it how can I experience water
the way to experience water is to just
get saw just get unbending and there it
is that’s what water is the minute that
glass but the minute I try and Lao Tzu
is saying the same thing is true in
everything in your life the more you
grasp the more you try to hold on to it
the more you try to be rigid with it the
less control you have of the softer you
are the less rigid you are the more
flexible you are as a person
the more you can accomplish it and this
is a great way to practice and parenting
as well and this idea that a rigid
thought how many times have you heard
this idea that if I tell you something
I’m going to stay consistent with it we
have a set of rules these are the rules
and we’ll do it this way in the dialogue
says the more rules you make the more
rule breakers you create
it’s true the more rules you have in
your house about how everything has to
go we had in our house my wife would
have a big jar of M&M peanuts you know
different with all these different
multicolored ones in – and the kids in
our house because we didn’t feed them
sugar and we didn’t give them sodas and
stuff like that so they you know they
were just more like a decoration every
once in a while someone would take them
and they’d hardly ever be replaced now
when we had kids come over to our house
who weren’t ever allowed to have such
horrible things you should have seen
their behavior you know they would scoop
them up they’d be putting them in their
pocket and then get their purses and
they’d open it up you know the whole
thing would be empty I said what are you
doing well well you mean you could just
have these whenever you want them like a
book we don’t really have any rules
about that it’s just it’s not something
that we encourage or discourage it’s
just there it’s like Emerson had a
wonderful line he said a foolish
consistency is the hobgoblin of little
minds a foolish consistency a rigid
consistency so that there are many
people who will say if I say it on
Monday you can be absolutely certain
that on Wednesday I’m going to believe
the same thing regardless of what might
happen on Tuesday now Tuesday might have
something real that you might want to be
changing your mind you might want to say
you know I thought that this time but
now I’ve seen this and now we can shift
and you can see how this can become when
and so much about the dollars on
leadership leadership in the family
leadership in the community leadership
geopolitically less rigidity more
openness more willingness to listen and
say I changed my mind
because a foolish consistency is the
hobgoblin of little minds and what I
believed on Wednesday has changed
because of what happened on Tuesday now
another important thing to say to your
children to your friends to your lover
to your spouse’s to
ever to the people you work with word
that were so terrified to say but which
give us a sense of living with the Dow I
don’t know I don’t know I’ll look it up
say it
I don’t know doesn’t hurt say it again
I don’t know isn’t it fearful I’m like
so many people and it’s like very
freeing because my kids call ask me
something of it I don’t know they say
dad do you know everything you know
everything I said well I don’t know that
and I’ll look it up I will try to find
an answer to that but I don’t quite know
I know that what even you know I spent
20 years running and I ran every day for
20 years 22 years without missing a day
8 miles never missed a Vic that’s
Richard all right some call that
obsessive but you brush your teeth every
day I used to say and you don’t call
that obsessive and then you go to the
bathroom every day and you don’t think
well he’s obsessively doing that again
today you don’t do that but anyway what
I learned is that in even in the world
of exercise there are certain things
that are built in to make us rigid to
make us stiff to make us hard and we
lift and we run and we kick and we this
is what we call get working out there’s
another kind of working out that this
ancient it goes back to the time of Lao
Tzu and before which is called yoga and
yoga means Union it means union with
your source and when you do yoga you can
stay in the same place you can do the
equivalent of 8 miles when I used to run
8 miles I had to run four miles that way
turn around four miles back and I’d be
sweating now I can do yoga and I can
just stand in one place in a 90 minute
by being supple by making myself stretch
by not being hard and rigid I can you
know I can get that out there I can get
that leg up I can do these kinds of
things and 90 and 90 minutes later you
know it’s like I’m totally sweating
until then I feel so different I used to
when I would go out at night to eat or
something after running so many miles
running marathons and
another thing I’d go to get up and it
would be okay it’s going to take a
little while okay and everything works
out like a that doesn’t happen anymore
because I’ve given up hard
I’ve given up being rigid and
substituted it for being supple for
being flexible for living a life in
which I don’t have to always be so
fierce listen to this verse of the
daodejing one of my all-time favorites
verse number 76 a man is born gentle and
weak at his death he becomes hard and
stiff all things including the grass and
the trees are soft and pliable in life
dry and brittle in depth stiffness is
thus a companion in death flexibility is
a companion in life and it’s not just
for how you exercise it’s how you think
how you think
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