welcome everybody to another YouTube
hangout super excited to be here with a
new guest a new friend Kurt Mortensen he
is an expert on charisma on influence on
negotiating and he’s going to share with
us his views today on how to instantly
influence anybody I’m super pumped about
that he’s also got a weekly podcast
called maximize your influence that will
link up you can check out if you want to
increase your charisma and gain more
influence Kurt welcome aboard man hey
thanks to be here little horse coming
off a coal but I wouldn’t miss this for
the world
I love it so so tell us some of the
secrets how do we instantly influence
anyone I’m excited well the big key
after spending all these years I’m
studying influence and charisma looking
at great persuaders you know doing
research for books one thing that really
stuck out that most people don’t realize
is that the 95 percent of influence
involves a sub-conscious trigger
it’s a feeling it’s emotion I like them
I don’t like them I trust them I don’t
trust them and a lot of times we just
don’t do the data dump we do the vomit
we just as entrepreneurs a lot of people
to do the data you’re the 17 reasons you
should do it and they really don’t focus
on what they need to focus it could be
the color of your clothes it could be
this smell when people hear the smell
the Cinnabon Store the seminoles
they’re more likely to donate to a
charity it could be how close you’re
standing it could be a word you use it
could be a gesture but a lot of people
don’t realize that building trust or
persuading people it’s not just a
logical thing it’s highly emotional huh
I I agree with you I think a lot of
people are looking at those listicles
and saying okay I got to apply these 17
things but they may not be a lot of the
subconscious triggers let’s look at an
example I’ll even use me so I do these
interviews we’re looking at
entrepreneurs or interviewing experts
what should I be doing for my influence
when I’m creating one of these
interviews as an example what are some
of the subconscious things I should do
you may be before I’m getting ready for
an interview into the first words that
come out of my mouth or this the screen
the setting what what thoughts do you
have well that’s a great question for
example before always you know the
mindset the self persuasion feeling
influential the studies do show that
when you feel
silento you are more influential I mean
it’s just that simple
and so the mindset preparation preparing
yourself mentally sooner there’s two
types of people that you’re looking at
you have your long-term followers right
and they already already have trust with
them they’re not looking at this that as
much and remember it’s just a feeling
sometimes but a lot of times you
remember your gestures how you look the
colors in the background it’s been
interesting that darker suits blues and
blacks with contrast and color seem to
be more persuasive even one studies show
that facial hair for guys decrease that
instant trust and so it’s interesting to
see what those things do and we’re not
even thinking about it so facial hair
decreases trust and that instant trust I
mean some guys look great in hair but
there’s something about that instantly
some people just not quite are quite
sure it’s another thing at Disney you
can’t have facial hair did I make that
up well that’s true I grew up in
California that’s absolutely true you
can have facial hair is that because of
the trust I don’t know why they came oh
the roar I’m assuming well you look
better you’re you look more trust
whether you connect better with people
so I’m assuming there’s some type of
link to that I’m not sure exactly why
they did it but I’m sure there’s a link
cool look I really like what you said
about when you feel more influential you
have that mindset then you will be more
influential so if an entrepreneur says
my audience is mostly entrepreneurs or
wannabe entrepreneurs trying to start a
business or get their business to the
next step for an entrepreneur going into
a big meeting with a potential investor
potential customer that they you know
what they want to win that deal they
want to feel that influence what do you
recommend they do to get into that
mindset before going into the meeting
whatever it takes
see everybody’s a little bit different
some people do affirmations my early
mentor Brian Tracy he was a big sales
guy you taught us to think I’m the best
I’m the best and that just didn’t click
for me and so I just turned it around
like they owe me money they owe me money
and that work for me some people
visualizing the sale some people having
a little ritual to get them into the
game
for some people it’s being prepared and
knowing your material it might be all
the above and so everyone’s a little bit
different here so people listen to music
some people pace I don’t care but you
find the two of your things that work
for you you get in that zone feel
influential and become
Oh angel are there are there
recommendations you have for how to find
that thing you think we already know it
do you just recommend cycling through a
whole bunch of different things to find
it what do you suggest I would cycle you
know remembering past victories I know
for everyone visualizing them saying yes
visualizing getting the sale works for
pretty much everybody and that’s what’s
interesting about mindset and
self-persuasion that if you’re stuck on
worry it’s because your visions not
strong enough if you’re worrying about
this what if they say no what if they
don’t agree what if they don’t do it
you haven’t visualized the cell you have
an infant visualize the negotiation to
to you and your success as I encourage
everyone I know everyone that I’ve ever
met visualization works from you can see
yourself doing it it works because the
universe will not reward you physically
and so you can see it mentally hmm how
much time should I give myself to do
that for people listening okay I’m going
into this meeting maybe it’s at two
o’clock in the afternoon how much time
does it take to hit that mindset is
there something we work towards getting
faster like am i spending I’m not
spending all day doing this or spending
the first the half-hour before ten
minutes before five minutes before what
he suggests yes five hours to do this I
know that but what I have noticed as I
looked at really successful people
people that with a high persuasion IQ
they can do it almost within a minute
you keep doing it you find out what
works for you it gets faster and faster
and faster so if you’re just getting
started it might take you ten minutes
here 10 mins here a little preparation
here visualization here you might take
you a week before you go to bed
visualizing at night so I get whatever
it takes you want to be in that zone but
I do know hope in the future right that
you can shorten it up short it up
shorten up and that way you could do it
a minute or two it doesn’t take you
quite as long and and for you your
mindset is these guys only money and I
want to get it that’s what you tell
yourself kind of going into it that when
I was a rookie brand-new and if I didn’t
sell I didn’t eat that’s what worked for
me that doesn’t let’s not what I do now
my goal that was to change lives because
what I teach I was here
why didn’t we learn this in school why
did I learn this 20 years ago so my
motives have changed but when I’m brand
new
the gate brand-new entrepreneur I
changed my mindset so that worked in the
past it doesn’t work for me now but I’m
saying whatever works for you find it
and use it right so what do you what do
you do now
so like five minutes before going on a
show you know you’re gonna talk to a ton
of people you’re gonna go on stage I
know you’re doing a lot of speaking
before you come on your podcast it’s
gonna reach a ton of people what what
skirts 5 minutes or 1 minute or 10
minute pre routine look like now
so I visualize changing lives teaching a
skill that’s gonna make entrepreneurs
and make more money be more successful
because always frustrated a lot of
entrepreneurs will try something for a
year or two and say it didn’t work well
no it didn’t work for you look over all
the people over here it works so it
visualize changing lines and teaching
the skills we should learned in school
it’s the first thing I do then I if it’s
a live event I enjoy pacing and thinking
about my intro visualize I might eat
them laughing at my lame jokes at the
beginning whatever it takes
getting that gear because if you can get
off to a good start that first five
minutes the first three minutes then you
feel that confidence you’re on a roll
and then the audience will just like
I’ll let you just suck it out of you and
you you do a very good job come on
so you’ve interviewed a ton of people
for your podcast you talk about maximize
your influence every week I’m curious
what are some of the lessons you’ve
learned from some of your guests that
have kind of left its mark on you after
doing all your shows persuasions changed
influences change we’re different people
and if we don’t adapt and and use those
old style closing skills and that’s
what’s one reason I learn things they
teach these closing skills I’m a big
believer that closing skills is like
trying to get a kiss after a bad date
okay it doesn’t like you and trust you
as a matter of you have a clever phrase
right so it’s all about the relationship
and so here’s some major changes we’re
bombarded with over 5,000 persuasive
messages a day according to Advertising
Age magazine that’s huge we become them
we have access to more information 20
years ago you want to buy a car you
listened and believed now it’s like I
can find anything I want on the internet
and that’s the next thing is access to
more information I can find anything I
wanted in on the Internet good or bad
that can really change the way I
persuade and influence and here’s an
interesting one introverts are now more
than extroverts yes I love it
I’m actually extroverts they’re in your
face they’re more aggressive they’re
more salesy right in Traverse they
listen they ask questions they’re
consultants it becomes easy right if you
could just listen and ask the right
questions they’ll tell you everything
you need to persuade them but we just
vomit on people here are the 17 reasons
and it can be that simple if you just
listen and ask the right questions
they’ll tell you everything you need to
know and they’re easy to persuade
because the goal here is to help people
persuade themselves because the moment
they sense you’re gonna try to persuade
them even though they need it want it
like you can afford it they’re gonna
resist you so two things you need to do
you need to help them persuade
themselves and you need to persuade them
how they want to be persuaded see our
default setting as humans is we persuade
how we like to be persuaded
welcome wrong and wrong you need to
adapt to their style and persuade them
how they want to persuade if you do
those few little things you’re going to
have more persuasion tools you’ll be
more successful
are there some general styles that stand
out of how people like to be persuaded
it’s just adapt into their style to
their personality you know introverts
are different than extroverts
amiable’s devs different than
analyticals it’s just seeing how they
want to be persuaded they might need the
charts of the visuals they might need
just an email some people like to pop in
those type of things just being aware to
adapt because a lot of people get that
one presentation and it works 20% of the
time but if they just make a few
adjustments they can move it up to 30
and 40 percent of time because that’s
the biggest issue here is that most
persuaders only have 5 or 6 persuasion
tools there’s over a hundred and is a
ramp Maslow says if you only tool in
your toolbox as a hammer you treat
everyone like a nail right let’s talk
about body language for a minute I mean
I know a few of them you know if you
talk about like standing up straight
versus kind of hunching over or you know
what what this means when your arms are
folded or I think man was always a fan
of like showing the palms of your hands
instead of in what are your thoughts on
body language what we should be doing
should be doing any kind of general
rules of thumb that you’ve discovered in
your research yeah I mean body language
is a huge one the way we approach people
how close we stand there’s a study
called proxemics and that varies by
culture South Americans like about 18
inches North America
like 24 inches Germans like 28 inches
many people middle-east want to feel
your breath and so no right or wrong
it’s just different you violate
someone’s space that’s a bad
subconscious trigger so space is the
biggest one and I don’t know that is the
darn verbs but breath is a big complaint
bad breath if they can smell your breath
your gestures from your shoulders to
your hips cuz if you just you’re too
high especially in a speaking format
that’s a subconscious triggers that
maybe your get hit or something and
they’re not thinking oh my father did
that he’s going to hit me they’re just
thinking you just get a little nervous
inside and so gestures get palms open
not exposing the bird probably be a good
one for our that’s one that you don’t
even think you’re doing right now making
a fist is not very opening folding your
arms or having your shoulders turned
away from the person or your feet turned
away from the person so you love these
things you’re not even thinking about
but you’re giving triggers that you’re
not very trustworthy and that the you’re
not gonna be able to influence them or
nervous to like you might be scared or
nervous and you’re like you’re not sure
what to do and you’re fidgeting and
moving around and I would assume that
that decreases your influence and Trust
as well it does especially in the
speaking environment you’re nervous and
you’re tense you’re actually telling the
truth but your cues are showing that
you’re lying well that could be a
challenge when you train you know
professional presenters and some
different things they’re doing things
that are sabotaging themselves they
don’t even know it I call it anti-sway
Shin right you’re doing things that
repel people and you don’t even know it
are there some common things that
speakers do that think they should be
doing better or at least watching
yourself if you film yourself and watch
it like these are the main things that
come up that making those quick tweaks
will have a big impact oh sure you know
we it’s interesting in a presentation
style even the environment matters we
found out that 68 to 70 degrees is the
most persuasive temperature the higher
meeting the more influential you are if
you’re on a platform assuming there’s a
more than hundred people in the room the
you’re more influential you know the
view the way the seating is set up and
so there’s all these external things
natural sunlight too many speakers dark
in the room so they can see their power
points no let’s get light on your face
if you want people to trust you up I
hate PowerPoint your audience sees
PowerPoint and I know as a presenter
it’s nice to have that nice little
blanket all the slides all your
information but be very careful that
with your PowerPoint and when you’re
using and of course your gestures record
yourself right are you looking at yet
the whole audience with your eye contact
are you pacing too much when you
gestured you come bring your hands all
the way back down because a lot of
people will do this neutral thing here
that’s just like folding your arms but
many speakers do that and here’s a big
one vocal fillers or you know decreases
your credibility but one thing everybody
can improve wants a tube first most
vocal fillers the second one is raped
the faster you speak the more
influential you are and I’m not talking
about a fast talker that’s not what I
want you to be I’m just talking about
your overall average rates mirtha gonna
deal with CEOs and politicians and speed
up speed up and you’re still speeding up
and slowing down and pausing just your
overall average rate because here’s what
we found out through studies when you
speak faster you rate is more charisma
deck number one and number two it gives
your audience less time to think of
counter arguments right because they
taste more mayor more mental energy to
focus on you I know there’s a lot of
information but if there’s two to pick
out of that vocal fillers and rate it
really help you be more influential very
cool I love it another thing I’ve heard
about is matching I don’t love the
opinion on that where you know you kind
of match the rate of now you’re not
speaking we’re just I’m in a sales
situation or I’m you know I want to win
this argument I want to convince this
person I want them to sign on with me
matching their rate of speak so if
they’re talking fast I talk fast I talk
slow I talk slow if they’re angry I get
angry or what’s your thoughts on
matching how to use it does it work what
do you think well the science does she
other it works right unless one is below
the radar if they’ve caught you
mimicking them it doesn’t work I mean a
professor went to different restaurants
you take it by at the same time take a
drink at the same time and ultimately
the person would come over and say do I
know you you seem very familiar to me so
there’s a time and place for mayor
matching I don’t always agree that we
should get angry if they’re angry
depends what they’re angry about and how
angry they are you mayor their energy
that’s a big one if you can hear their
their posture if you can mirrors a lot
of things they do it does increase that
synchronization when you’re imagine as
it just increases a natural connection
people are going to get when they’ve
bonded with each other so there’s a good
time in place for a mirror match
I would definitely take a look at that
because it does work cool
well let’s throw it over to the live
audience get some questions in and see
what you guys have for Kurt first up
Gabrielle’s talking about loving all the
tools that you’ve been providing all the
information is there a place to get more
tools do you have a book is it listen to
the podcast so is there anything that
people can get all of this in one chunk
well the the podcast maximize your
influence com does give a tool a week
and we do talk about that my first book
maximum influence details all the
different laws of persuasions and tools
if you’re a die-hard and want to master
this skill go to influence University
comm that’s my life’s work that has a 52
week program where you’re getting audios
and videos to really master the skill
kiss that’s why I’m so passionate about
this we should have learned this in
school you know how much money have you
lost with your inability to persuade and
influence it’s the key factor especially
as entrepreneurs everything we want
life’s on the other side of persuasion
Ivan is asking how can we influence
people for an introverts about your
Commodore introverts you have specific
advice for introverts and how to
influence others just come across as a
consultant as a doctor
see when you’re perceived as the expert
there’s very little influence resistance
doctor tells us to do it they were in a
white coat they got a degree we’d do it
and that’s the position he want to be
and when you can ask the right questions
and come across as the expert then I’ll
listen they’re gonna open up and people
want to be influenced listeners okay
hold on that one people want an expert
to tell them what to do and make the
right decision so when you’re the
experts and you’re gonna solve their
problem there’s very little resistance
and so you need to have credibility ask
the right questions so do things with
credibility that are very important
you can borrow credibility from a
referral from a testimonial from another
manager from another business from
another expert so that’s something that
you can do the second thing is is this
is kind of counterintuitive for a lot of
people when you reveal a weakness that
actually you reveal it increases your
credibility right resisted marketing
ninis rent-a-car we’re number two we try
harder lore’l expensive makeup because
you’re worth it
they have Listerine the taste
twice a day in volkswagen came out of
the bugs in the 60s their thing was this
car so slow you’ll never get a speeding
ticket okay so you can reveal a minor
weakness about you your product or
service because the people are so
skeptical now Trust is an all-time low
they’re looking for something that’s
wrong with you your product your service
or idea give them one
give them a minor thing and turn that
into a strength that increases your
credibility and your ability influence I
love it I’m thinking back my venture
capital days we’re helping raise capital
for four companies one of the things
we’d always do is look at creating a
Board of Advisors so my even a board of
directors which has you know legal
responsibilities but just a board of
advisers so if you’re an entrepreneur
just start now you don’t have any
credibility even your captain or your
lawyer or some somebody in the community
who would join your Board of Advisors
they lend some credibility to your
business even though they’re not
involved in the daily operations that
can help you get funding and give more
credibility so I’m a big fan of that
I’ve seen that work not allows you a
great example or you say you only have
one years experience you can say your
team has 80 years of experience
borrowing credibility right well you get
a lot of love and the live chat a wild
grade thank you I’m taking notes as we
speak awesome live stream that’s great
let’s keep the questions going Schad gee
I hope I pronounced that okay is asking
about how important is charisma and is
it necessary as a sales executive very
important yes so the reason I research
charisma is when I tell people there’s a
hundred tools the knee-jerk reaction is
okay Kerr what’s the most important tool
right people want to know what’s the
most important tool and it’s charisma
people want to be around you they want
to be influenced you there’s very little
resistance and so I set out to find out
and interviewed charismatic salespeople
Chris mattock entrepreneur Chris Mannix
CEOs what did they have that the average
person didn’t have and first of all you
already have some elements of charisma
and second of all the rest can be
learned and that’s the key elements of
charisma the dramatically reduces
resistance and makes you very very
influential and it’s something that can
be learned I’m curious is there somebody
that you look up to either as an
entrepreneur or business leader who may
not teach charisma but has a lot of
charisma that just by watching them you
can pick up cues to say mmm I like how
he or she does that and
I learned from watching them on a
regular basis uh well my first mentor is
Jim Rohn he was very charismatic in his
way and there’s different styles of
charisma right it’s just charisma is
that transfer of our energy to another
person and it can be a soft-spoken way
or the Tony Robbins way he was very
charismatic but he’s more you know
in-your-face very energetic and I’m say
those two are very good examples to take
a look at Les Brown is very charismatic
you can take a look at a lot of
different people that you respect and
that’s great what you want to do is look
at different people that would work for
me that wouldn’t be a student of success
and that makes a big difference of being
charismatic I think that’s a great point
there because I think a lot of people
would might look at a Tony Robbins or
Les Brown and say these guys are
screaming and sweating and going nuts on
stage and and they what they win right
like they have huge audiences and people
love them but I’m not like that
you know I’m not the Tony Robbins gonna
yell at you and so a lot of people may
feel like well I can’t be charismatic
now because I don’t look like that and
now you’re saying hey there’s other guys
and other girls you know soft-spoken
people and is the advice just don’t
worry about being like then find someone
else who has done it in a different way
in trying to model that success
absolutely what is your style we getting
different levels of charisma different
styles of charisma so they’re
introverted soft-spoken but when they
speak you feel their love you feel their
energy and that you’re transferring your
influence you didn’t even think about it
versus again here your Tony Robbins or
bouncing your les Browns are all over
the place you’re Zig Ziglar those are
different styles and I don’t want you if
you’re not feeling comfortable with it
it’s not you again look what works for
you become a student of charisma and
that’s what makes the biggest difference
cool
next up Lorie how do I keep going after
losing a sale hashtag car saleswoman
well just like we talked about before
you know getting in the zone so now
you’ve just been rejected which is part
of sales and you’re out of the zone
that’s it and that’s true for all of us
we don’t wanna be too rejected we feel
criticized we’ve been kicked in the head
left for dad right so we can mope it
complain and that’s the thing you need
to have a game plan in place to get
yourself back in the zone it’s
interesting that your new look at your
willpower yourself discipline in a lot
of ways it’s like a battery throughout
the day and rejection and criticism
drains the battery we get to the point
where you don’t care nobody loves you
and you don’t want to try anymore and
you don’t want to be there and so you
need to have a game plan in place what
works for you I don’t give you some
examples that work for other people you
pick and choose what works for you could
be Red Bull okay it could be getting a
walk in the sunshine it could be looking
at a picture your family it could be
looking at the term a boat you want it
could be looking at your goals they
could be talking to an optimistic person
it could be watching a funny YouTube
video humor has been shown to do you
know increase that energy and get you
back on track
maybe it’s nap maybe it’s meditation
maybe it’s prayer maybe it’s any of
those things maybe it’s a combination
when what works for you and the quicker
you do it I’ve noticed with great people
at high persuasion IQs a couple of
minutes they’re back in gear they’re
ready to roll ready to roll make it
happen I’m watching Tony Robbins
documentary I am NOT your guru and he’s
backstage and every time he comes on
stage he has his little mini routine
where he like sprays something in his
mouth does a 360 degree turn and claps
or something and then you know walks out
on the stage and he’s all motivated and
excited and so that may be whacking
crazy not work for most people but it
works for him and so you’re saying find
a thing that works for you to get you
excited to go out and be in that mindset
that’s called an anchor so if you do
have a a big victory or a big sail you
can do something maybe you want to press
your wrist or something like that so
next time you’re feeling down you
compress your wrist a lot of times that
triggers a lot of those emotions you
felt with a victory it takes well to get
that going but that’s what that’s called
as an anchor
people are really resonated with your
weakness reveals honesty and creates
credibility – Fernando a few others are
commenting about it do you have more
examples of that just taking a little
bit further of how showing that weakness
can make you more credible shorten okay
now here’s the key there people are so
skeptical and distrusting they’re
looking for something that’s wrong with
you your product or service or idea and
if you don’t give them one they’re gonna
assign one to you all right so you might
as well give one otherwise you’re too
good to be true even if it is true
you’re too good to be true so it’s not
true
here’s an example okay let’s say you’re
an entrepreneur and they’re right in
maybe it’s just two or three of you and
your company or even one right and
you’re going against a large company of
a couple hundred people and that’s a
perceived weakness breaking up they’re
gonna find out anyway so you know what
we’re lot smaller the next wasy company
I know you’re talking to them but you
know what we’re smaller we’re more
nimble you won’t get lost in the cracks
you let my cell phone I’ll answer 24
hours a day and we can get it done a lot
faster so I revealed a minor weakness
that yeah we are smaller but then I
turned that into a strength creates more
trust they’ve given them a weakness and
that makes all the difference in the
world
I really like I haven’t heard that
before that then if you don’t show
weakness people will assign one to you
that’s all-time low so there’s got to be
something wrong with you
right not you but other people yeah you
know I like that it’s interesting Jay
Rhys is asking if you don’t want to be
charismatic can charisma be delegated
sure as long as it over you’re trying to
influence gets influenced I teach that a
negotiation if you’re hitting a brick
wall your personalities are clash and
bringing someone apples you know
bringing another closer or another
negotiator another person another
manager that will have a start from zero
start from scratch so absolutely you can
learn charisma if you want to delegate
it and there’s someone that has that
that talent that skill you can
absolutely delegate it so far as
entrepreneurs and their teams and trying
to you know build their companies
forward and they’re trying to make that
critical you know self-awareness
discovery how do they decide whether
this is something that I really need to
understand I need to absorb and I’m the
one who needs to get better at it or I
know what I’m good at this isn’t it I
need to find the partner or the employee
or somebody under me to go and do that
how do you make that self assessment
well I’d say both so if you’re not
feeling that you have the skills that
you’re the you’re the product guy you’re
the engineer yeah you want to delegate
then finding good salespeople good sales
staff the regardless of where you are in
the company in the world where you’re at
you’ve gotta master these skills get
everything you wants on the other side
of influence with
you might be meeting with another
company it might be a future merger
might be a negotiation to get your
product costs down it might be people
that are looking to invest in your
company we all influence we’ve got to
master this skill we got to get others
to want to do what we want them to do it
like doing it so sure you can delegate
it but ultimately if you’re the one in
charge you’re the CEO you’re the one
people are gonna want to talk to you
they’re gonna judge you they want to see
if you’re influential they’re gonna look
at your body language I know it might
not feel fair but it’s reality that’s
how people are so what’s going to best
in your company or you need to negotiate
it’s good to be with you you’ve gotta
master these skills you can’t do
anything alone exactly
Oh Joe is loving the epic library behind
you there Kurt what’s your favorite book
on those shelves my favorite book Wow
let’s see there’s a lot behind there man
really good I you know I’ve read them I
said I read every book on persuasion
course I can recommend my books but a
one that I read reasons but in marketing
which is really interesting talks about
some those subconscious triggers depends
on the day now of course mindset we got
to go back to thinking Grow Rich the
subconscious Minds a great book on
mindset there’s some great books I do
realize collegiate books on influence
and studies because I don’t want to
teach it unless I can prove it a lot of
the books I get you know from the
universities then the social psychology
and and psychology why we do what we do
because that’s the key we’re so busy
that it’s just a feeling and so I really
enjoy those type of books I know a lot
of people who read thinking Grow Rich
every year is their annual tradition and
Brian Tracy was recently on the channel
you mentioned was a mentor I know he’s a
fan of it too are there any books there
that you revisit consistently either as
an annual tradition or you know just not
just a one and done but I keep coming
back to these books as gold lines of
information yeah thank you girl rich is
on that list
Brian Tracy’s book I’m focused which is
on time management which is something we
can always work on that’s a good one
so I don’t might revisit them every year
and I think you’d be rich I’d like to
listen to that all the time I listen to
a lot of different books
and it become time management I like to
review I always want to read right and
that’s the secret a Harvard study says
that those are learning and growing
every day the more optimistic they’re
more enthusiastic about where they go
and what they’re going to accomplish but
those who don’t learn and grow every day
become very negative pessimistic and
doubtful so it does something to us and
we learn the skills because I love what
Jim Rohn Tommy early on he says hey
every challenge you’re probably gonna
face as an entrepreneur someone’s
already faced it and written a book
about it right right some Thoreau a
podcast or a seminar VAD and you can
learn it in two days versus two months
so that’s very important to learn how to
do that loving the sweat shop Jim I’m a
young entrepreneur and work with a lot
of clients with a spectrum of
personalities how do I relate to such a
wide audience without coming off as fake
when you are sincere and genuine and
really care about the person you’re not
fake I know sometimes I go what if I
adapt what if I’m here and match if you
truly care about teams and their lives
especially in a gym if you don’t have
the mindset look if I don’t get them
going on a workout they’re gonna die
right I know that’s extreme but this is
for all entrepreneurs and all everyone
that influenced is that you have a moral
and ethical obligation to persuade
people because if you don’t at a gym
they’re not gonna work out and they’re
gonna have health problems or thinking I
can find an inferior product and with an
inferior company they’re not gonna
taking care of people you’ve got to
believe in what you’re doing your
product and service be sincere and
genuine truly care about the person I
guarantee you won’t come across this
fake a similar question comes from Rene
drew who’s talking about going into a
sales pitch and presenting the most
honest best version of herself versus
using deception to try to make them
close the sale honestly versus deception
convincing versus the truth where where
do you stand on that or advice that you
have I don’t well I would never use
deception deception would be
manipulation which would be it it’s not
a win-win you’re not revealing all the
information it’s not good for them but
if it’s a win-win and it’s a good thing
for them I would use all the tools of
persuasion to be able to persuade them
because again if you don’t someone’s
going to persuade them it’s probably to
be an inferior product that doesn’t care
as much as you care so it’s not
deception when you mirror
is that purse webster’s that’s in use
more tools it’s not deception to adapt
to their style as long as it’s a win-win
and it solves their problem you’ve
revealed everything then it’s not
deception deceptions when you’re lying
in and so you shouldn’t feel that way
you should feel it using all the tools
to persuade them can remember if you
don’t somebody else will and you’ve done
them a disservice because now they’re
with an inferior company or inferior
product sure G rise is asking how can an
online test
tell me what my persuasion IQ is do you
have an online test
persuasion IQ calm that’s simple so what
happens if you go there you take the
test what’s it gonna tell me how do i
you know get better what do i learn from
that
well doesn’t sugarcoat it it goes to
some scenario some questions about the
new rules of persuasion IQ and it gives
you the answers to the ones that you’ve
messed why you’ve missed it and then it
kicks you into an autoresponder which
helps you learn some more tools that’ll
help you out to be more successful cool
question coming in ask them what the
importance of building a youtube channel
to create a brand and communicating the
message what are your thoughts on that
yeah I mean it depends on your niche
obviously depends on the demographics
that you’re going after but yeah YouTube
social media that’s the next thing it
still is the thing and we don’t see
anything else that’s changing so YouTube
is the number two search engine now
people just want to see how it’s done
they want a quick solution to what
they’re running into so YouTube channel
again
the key thing for entrepreneurs is
remember this takes time it takes energy
it takes years to build and grow and to
massage you got to be committed to it
but if you are committed to it and I’m
gonna let it grow and put good
information on there it makes a big
difference when you help solve someone’s
problem and prove your Worth and show
your credibility YouTube can be a
powerful powerful thing and do you have
advice on that for having charisma and
influencing people when you’re just
talking into a camera I mean I know here
we’re talking into a camera each of us
but we’re still seeing each other where
when you’re doing a sales pitch and
usually you’re face to face with
somebody when you’re doing a YouTube
video you’re just talking right into a
camera there’s no audience
you know it could be hard maybe to get
that into G so I should be feed off of
other people do you have any
recommendations for talking into a
camera and still instantly beam it’ll
influence somebody sure it’s a learned
art to be able to get into a camera or
make it look real and sincere and
genuine and alive and that you’re not
just talking to the camera if you want
to start out get some friends and
families or complete strangers if you
want and get it audience right if that’s
what you need if that helps you out do
it there’s nothing wrong with that right
they’re not gonna see the audience but
you are do two or three different takes
and use the best one and eventually as
you get into it you’re not going to need
an audience eventually you’re gonna come
across as the most charismatic sincere
and genuine but if you’re just starting
out sometimes it’s very helpful to start
with an audience very cool
Kurt it’s crazy how quickly half an hour
flies by I appreciate the time you
sticking with us despite having the sore
throat it’s been a camping people or
love I get back is their final message
you want to leave people with sure
master these skills learn how to
persuade and influence parents teachers
leaders managers we all persuade for a
living you want to be more successful in
business you want to make the world a
better place you want to change people’s
lives mash these skills it’ll make a big
difference in you the world on your
income I love it thinker thank you so
much for joining us thank you guys for
watching go check out the maximize your
influence podcast every week to learn
some of these skills really should get
it Kurt and let’s see soon man okay
thank you appreciate it take care
alright Cheers
hangout super excited to be here with a
new guest a new friend Kurt Mortensen he
is an expert on charisma on influence on
negotiating and he’s going to share with
us his views today on how to instantly
influence anybody I’m super pumped about
that he’s also got a weekly podcast
called maximize your influence that will
link up you can check out if you want to
increase your charisma and gain more
influence Kurt welcome aboard man hey
thanks to be here little horse coming
off a coal but I wouldn’t miss this for
the world
I love it so so tell us some of the
secrets how do we instantly influence
anyone I’m excited well the big key
after spending all these years I’m
studying influence and charisma looking
at great persuaders you know doing
research for books one thing that really
stuck out that most people don’t realize
is that the 95 percent of influence
involves a sub-conscious trigger
it’s a feeling it’s emotion I like them
I don’t like them I trust them I don’t
trust them and a lot of times we just
don’t do the data dump we do the vomit
we just as entrepreneurs a lot of people
to do the data you’re the 17 reasons you
should do it and they really don’t focus
on what they need to focus it could be
the color of your clothes it could be
this smell when people hear the smell
the Cinnabon Store the seminoles
they’re more likely to donate to a
charity it could be how close you’re
standing it could be a word you use it
could be a gesture but a lot of people
don’t realize that building trust or
persuading people it’s not just a
logical thing it’s highly emotional huh
I I agree with you I think a lot of
people are looking at those listicles
and saying okay I got to apply these 17
things but they may not be a lot of the
subconscious triggers let’s look at an
example I’ll even use me so I do these
interviews we’re looking at
entrepreneurs or interviewing experts
what should I be doing for my influence
when I’m creating one of these
interviews as an example what are some
of the subconscious things I should do
you may be before I’m getting ready for
an interview into the first words that
come out of my mouth or this the screen
the setting what what thoughts do you
have well that’s a great question for
example before always you know the
mindset the self persuasion feeling
influential the studies do show that
when you feel
silento you are more influential I mean
it’s just that simple
and so the mindset preparation preparing
yourself mentally sooner there’s two
types of people that you’re looking at
you have your long-term followers right
and they already already have trust with
them they’re not looking at this that as
much and remember it’s just a feeling
sometimes but a lot of times you
remember your gestures how you look the
colors in the background it’s been
interesting that darker suits blues and
blacks with contrast and color seem to
be more persuasive even one studies show
that facial hair for guys decrease that
instant trust and so it’s interesting to
see what those things do and we’re not
even thinking about it so facial hair
decreases trust and that instant trust I
mean some guys look great in hair but
there’s something about that instantly
some people just not quite are quite
sure it’s another thing at Disney you
can’t have facial hair did I make that
up well that’s true I grew up in
California that’s absolutely true you
can have facial hair is that because of
the trust I don’t know why they came oh
the roar I’m assuming well you look
better you’re you look more trust
whether you connect better with people
so I’m assuming there’s some type of
link to that I’m not sure exactly why
they did it but I’m sure there’s a link
cool look I really like what you said
about when you feel more influential you
have that mindset then you will be more
influential so if an entrepreneur says
my audience is mostly entrepreneurs or
wannabe entrepreneurs trying to start a
business or get their business to the
next step for an entrepreneur going into
a big meeting with a potential investor
potential customer that they you know
what they want to win that deal they
want to feel that influence what do you
recommend they do to get into that
mindset before going into the meeting
whatever it takes
see everybody’s a little bit different
some people do affirmations my early
mentor Brian Tracy he was a big sales
guy you taught us to think I’m the best
I’m the best and that just didn’t click
for me and so I just turned it around
like they owe me money they owe me money
and that work for me some people
visualizing the sale some people having
a little ritual to get them into the
game
for some people it’s being prepared and
knowing your material it might be all
the above and so everyone’s a little bit
different here so people listen to music
some people pace I don’t care but you
find the two of your things that work
for you you get in that zone feel
influential and become
Oh angel are there are there
recommendations you have for how to find
that thing you think we already know it
do you just recommend cycling through a
whole bunch of different things to find
it what do you suggest I would cycle you
know remembering past victories I know
for everyone visualizing them saying yes
visualizing getting the sale works for
pretty much everybody and that’s what’s
interesting about mindset and
self-persuasion that if you’re stuck on
worry it’s because your visions not
strong enough if you’re worrying about
this what if they say no what if they
don’t agree what if they don’t do it
you haven’t visualized the cell you have
an infant visualize the negotiation to
to you and your success as I encourage
everyone I know everyone that I’ve ever
met visualization works from you can see
yourself doing it it works because the
universe will not reward you physically
and so you can see it mentally hmm how
much time should I give myself to do
that for people listening okay I’m going
into this meeting maybe it’s at two
o’clock in the afternoon how much time
does it take to hit that mindset is
there something we work towards getting
faster like am i spending I’m not
spending all day doing this or spending
the first the half-hour before ten
minutes before five minutes before what
he suggests yes five hours to do this I
know that but what I have noticed as I
looked at really successful people
people that with a high persuasion IQ
they can do it almost within a minute
you keep doing it you find out what
works for you it gets faster and faster
and faster so if you’re just getting
started it might take you ten minutes
here 10 mins here a little preparation
here visualization here you might take
you a week before you go to bed
visualizing at night so I get whatever
it takes you want to be in that zone but
I do know hope in the future right that
you can shorten it up short it up
shorten up and that way you could do it
a minute or two it doesn’t take you
quite as long and and for you your
mindset is these guys only money and I
want to get it that’s what you tell
yourself kind of going into it that when
I was a rookie brand-new and if I didn’t
sell I didn’t eat that’s what worked for
me that doesn’t let’s not what I do now
my goal that was to change lives because
what I teach I was here
why didn’t we learn this in school why
did I learn this 20 years ago so my
motives have changed but when I’m brand
new
the gate brand-new entrepreneur I
changed my mindset so that worked in the
past it doesn’t work for me now but I’m
saying whatever works for you find it
and use it right so what do you what do
you do now
so like five minutes before going on a
show you know you’re gonna talk to a ton
of people you’re gonna go on stage I
know you’re doing a lot of speaking
before you come on your podcast it’s
gonna reach a ton of people what what
skirts 5 minutes or 1 minute or 10
minute pre routine look like now
so I visualize changing lives teaching a
skill that’s gonna make entrepreneurs
and make more money be more successful
because always frustrated a lot of
entrepreneurs will try something for a
year or two and say it didn’t work well
no it didn’t work for you look over all
the people over here it works so it
visualize changing lines and teaching
the skills we should learned in school
it’s the first thing I do then I if it’s
a live event I enjoy pacing and thinking
about my intro visualize I might eat
them laughing at my lame jokes at the
beginning whatever it takes
getting that gear because if you can get
off to a good start that first five
minutes the first three minutes then you
feel that confidence you’re on a roll
and then the audience will just like
I’ll let you just suck it out of you and
you you do a very good job come on
so you’ve interviewed a ton of people
for your podcast you talk about maximize
your influence every week I’m curious
what are some of the lessons you’ve
learned from some of your guests that
have kind of left its mark on you after
doing all your shows persuasions changed
influences change we’re different people
and if we don’t adapt and and use those
old style closing skills and that’s
what’s one reason I learn things they
teach these closing skills I’m a big
believer that closing skills is like
trying to get a kiss after a bad date
okay it doesn’t like you and trust you
as a matter of you have a clever phrase
right so it’s all about the relationship
and so here’s some major changes we’re
bombarded with over 5,000 persuasive
messages a day according to Advertising
Age magazine that’s huge we become them
we have access to more information 20
years ago you want to buy a car you
listened and believed now it’s like I
can find anything I want on the internet
and that’s the next thing is access to
more information I can find anything I
wanted in on the Internet good or bad
that can really change the way I
persuade and influence and here’s an
interesting one introverts are now more
than extroverts yes I love it
I’m actually extroverts they’re in your
face they’re more aggressive they’re
more salesy right in Traverse they
listen they ask questions they’re
consultants it becomes easy right if you
could just listen and ask the right
questions they’ll tell you everything
you need to persuade them but we just
vomit on people here are the 17 reasons
and it can be that simple if you just
listen and ask the right questions
they’ll tell you everything you need to
know and they’re easy to persuade
because the goal here is to help people
persuade themselves because the moment
they sense you’re gonna try to persuade
them even though they need it want it
like you can afford it they’re gonna
resist you so two things you need to do
you need to help them persuade
themselves and you need to persuade them
how they want to be persuaded see our
default setting as humans is we persuade
how we like to be persuaded
welcome wrong and wrong you need to
adapt to their style and persuade them
how they want to persuade if you do
those few little things you’re going to
have more persuasion tools you’ll be
more successful
are there some general styles that stand
out of how people like to be persuaded
it’s just adapt into their style to
their personality you know introverts
are different than extroverts
amiable’s devs different than
analyticals it’s just seeing how they
want to be persuaded they might need the
charts of the visuals they might need
just an email some people like to pop in
those type of things just being aware to
adapt because a lot of people get that
one presentation and it works 20% of the
time but if they just make a few
adjustments they can move it up to 30
and 40 percent of time because that’s
the biggest issue here is that most
persuaders only have 5 or 6 persuasion
tools there’s over a hundred and is a
ramp Maslow says if you only tool in
your toolbox as a hammer you treat
everyone like a nail right let’s talk
about body language for a minute I mean
I know a few of them you know if you
talk about like standing up straight
versus kind of hunching over or you know
what what this means when your arms are
folded or I think man was always a fan
of like showing the palms of your hands
instead of in what are your thoughts on
body language what we should be doing
should be doing any kind of general
rules of thumb that you’ve discovered in
your research yeah I mean body language
is a huge one the way we approach people
how close we stand there’s a study
called proxemics and that varies by
culture South Americans like about 18
inches North America
like 24 inches Germans like 28 inches
many people middle-east want to feel
your breath and so no right or wrong
it’s just different you violate
someone’s space that’s a bad
subconscious trigger so space is the
biggest one and I don’t know that is the
darn verbs but breath is a big complaint
bad breath if they can smell your breath
your gestures from your shoulders to
your hips cuz if you just you’re too
high especially in a speaking format
that’s a subconscious triggers that
maybe your get hit or something and
they’re not thinking oh my father did
that he’s going to hit me they’re just
thinking you just get a little nervous
inside and so gestures get palms open
not exposing the bird probably be a good
one for our that’s one that you don’t
even think you’re doing right now making
a fist is not very opening folding your
arms or having your shoulders turned
away from the person or your feet turned
away from the person so you love these
things you’re not even thinking about
but you’re giving triggers that you’re
not very trustworthy and that the you’re
not gonna be able to influence them or
nervous to like you might be scared or
nervous and you’re like you’re not sure
what to do and you’re fidgeting and
moving around and I would assume that
that decreases your influence and Trust
as well it does especially in the
speaking environment you’re nervous and
you’re tense you’re actually telling the
truth but your cues are showing that
you’re lying well that could be a
challenge when you train you know
professional presenters and some
different things they’re doing things
that are sabotaging themselves they
don’t even know it I call it anti-sway
Shin right you’re doing things that
repel people and you don’t even know it
are there some common things that
speakers do that think they should be
doing better or at least watching
yourself if you film yourself and watch
it like these are the main things that
come up that making those quick tweaks
will have a big impact oh sure you know
we it’s interesting in a presentation
style even the environment matters we
found out that 68 to 70 degrees is the
most persuasive temperature the higher
meeting the more influential you are if
you’re on a platform assuming there’s a
more than hundred people in the room the
you’re more influential you know the
view the way the seating is set up and
so there’s all these external things
natural sunlight too many speakers dark
in the room so they can see their power
points no let’s get light on your face
if you want people to trust you up I
hate PowerPoint your audience sees
PowerPoint and I know as a presenter
it’s nice to have that nice little
blanket all the slides all your
information but be very careful that
with your PowerPoint and when you’re
using and of course your gestures record
yourself right are you looking at yet
the whole audience with your eye contact
are you pacing too much when you
gestured you come bring your hands all
the way back down because a lot of
people will do this neutral thing here
that’s just like folding your arms but
many speakers do that and here’s a big
one vocal fillers or you know decreases
your credibility but one thing everybody
can improve wants a tube first most
vocal fillers the second one is raped
the faster you speak the more
influential you are and I’m not talking
about a fast talker that’s not what I
want you to be I’m just talking about
your overall average rates mirtha gonna
deal with CEOs and politicians and speed
up speed up and you’re still speeding up
and slowing down and pausing just your
overall average rate because here’s what
we found out through studies when you
speak faster you rate is more charisma
deck number one and number two it gives
your audience less time to think of
counter arguments right because they
taste more mayor more mental energy to
focus on you I know there’s a lot of
information but if there’s two to pick
out of that vocal fillers and rate it
really help you be more influential very
cool I love it another thing I’ve heard
about is matching I don’t love the
opinion on that where you know you kind
of match the rate of now you’re not
speaking we’re just I’m in a sales
situation or I’m you know I want to win
this argument I want to convince this
person I want them to sign on with me
matching their rate of speak so if
they’re talking fast I talk fast I talk
slow I talk slow if they’re angry I get
angry or what’s your thoughts on
matching how to use it does it work what
do you think well the science does she
other it works right unless one is below
the radar if they’ve caught you
mimicking them it doesn’t work I mean a
professor went to different restaurants
you take it by at the same time take a
drink at the same time and ultimately
the person would come over and say do I
know you you seem very familiar to me so
there’s a time and place for mayor
matching I don’t always agree that we
should get angry if they’re angry
depends what they’re angry about and how
angry they are you mayor their energy
that’s a big one if you can hear their
their posture if you can mirrors a lot
of things they do it does increase that
synchronization when you’re imagine as
it just increases a natural connection
people are going to get when they’ve
bonded with each other so there’s a good
time in place for a mirror match
I would definitely take a look at that
because it does work cool
well let’s throw it over to the live
audience get some questions in and see
what you guys have for Kurt first up
Gabrielle’s talking about loving all the
tools that you’ve been providing all the
information is there a place to get more
tools do you have a book is it listen to
the podcast so is there anything that
people can get all of this in one chunk
well the the podcast maximize your
influence com does give a tool a week
and we do talk about that my first book
maximum influence details all the
different laws of persuasions and tools
if you’re a die-hard and want to master
this skill go to influence University
comm that’s my life’s work that has a 52
week program where you’re getting audios
and videos to really master the skill
kiss that’s why I’m so passionate about
this we should have learned this in
school you know how much money have you
lost with your inability to persuade and
influence it’s the key factor especially
as entrepreneurs everything we want
life’s on the other side of persuasion
Ivan is asking how can we influence
people for an introverts about your
Commodore introverts you have specific
advice for introverts and how to
influence others just come across as a
consultant as a doctor
see when you’re perceived as the expert
there’s very little influence resistance
doctor tells us to do it they were in a
white coat they got a degree we’d do it
and that’s the position he want to be
and when you can ask the right questions
and come across as the expert then I’ll
listen they’re gonna open up and people
want to be influenced listeners okay
hold on that one people want an expert
to tell them what to do and make the
right decision so when you’re the
experts and you’re gonna solve their
problem there’s very little resistance
and so you need to have credibility ask
the right questions so do things with
credibility that are very important
you can borrow credibility from a
referral from a testimonial from another
manager from another business from
another expert so that’s something that
you can do the second thing is is this
is kind of counterintuitive for a lot of
people when you reveal a weakness that
actually you reveal it increases your
credibility right resisted marketing
ninis rent-a-car we’re number two we try
harder lore’l expensive makeup because
you’re worth it
they have Listerine the taste
twice a day in volkswagen came out of
the bugs in the 60s their thing was this
car so slow you’ll never get a speeding
ticket okay so you can reveal a minor
weakness about you your product or
service because the people are so
skeptical now Trust is an all-time low
they’re looking for something that’s
wrong with you your product your service
or idea give them one
give them a minor thing and turn that
into a strength that increases your
credibility and your ability influence I
love it I’m thinking back my venture
capital days we’re helping raise capital
for four companies one of the things
we’d always do is look at creating a
Board of Advisors so my even a board of
directors which has you know legal
responsibilities but just a board of
advisers so if you’re an entrepreneur
just start now you don’t have any
credibility even your captain or your
lawyer or some somebody in the community
who would join your Board of Advisors
they lend some credibility to your
business even though they’re not
involved in the daily operations that
can help you get funding and give more
credibility so I’m a big fan of that
I’ve seen that work not allows you a
great example or you say you only have
one years experience you can say your
team has 80 years of experience
borrowing credibility right well you get
a lot of love and the live chat a wild
grade thank you I’m taking notes as we
speak awesome live stream that’s great
let’s keep the questions going Schad gee
I hope I pronounced that okay is asking
about how important is charisma and is
it necessary as a sales executive very
important yes so the reason I research
charisma is when I tell people there’s a
hundred tools the knee-jerk reaction is
okay Kerr what’s the most important tool
right people want to know what’s the
most important tool and it’s charisma
people want to be around you they want
to be influenced you there’s very little
resistance and so I set out to find out
and interviewed charismatic salespeople
Chris mattock entrepreneur Chris Mannix
CEOs what did they have that the average
person didn’t have and first of all you
already have some elements of charisma
and second of all the rest can be
learned and that’s the key elements of
charisma the dramatically reduces
resistance and makes you very very
influential and it’s something that can
be learned I’m curious is there somebody
that you look up to either as an
entrepreneur or business leader who may
not teach charisma but has a lot of
charisma that just by watching them you
can pick up cues to say mmm I like how
he or she does that and
I learned from watching them on a
regular basis uh well my first mentor is
Jim Rohn he was very charismatic in his
way and there’s different styles of
charisma right it’s just charisma is
that transfer of our energy to another
person and it can be a soft-spoken way
or the Tony Robbins way he was very
charismatic but he’s more you know
in-your-face very energetic and I’m say
those two are very good examples to take
a look at Les Brown is very charismatic
you can take a look at a lot of
different people that you respect and
that’s great what you want to do is look
at different people that would work for
me that wouldn’t be a student of success
and that makes a big difference of being
charismatic I think that’s a great point
there because I think a lot of people
would might look at a Tony Robbins or
Les Brown and say these guys are
screaming and sweating and going nuts on
stage and and they what they win right
like they have huge audiences and people
love them but I’m not like that
you know I’m not the Tony Robbins gonna
yell at you and so a lot of people may
feel like well I can’t be charismatic
now because I don’t look like that and
now you’re saying hey there’s other guys
and other girls you know soft-spoken
people and is the advice just don’t
worry about being like then find someone
else who has done it in a different way
in trying to model that success
absolutely what is your style we getting
different levels of charisma different
styles of charisma so they’re
introverted soft-spoken but when they
speak you feel their love you feel their
energy and that you’re transferring your
influence you didn’t even think about it
versus again here your Tony Robbins or
bouncing your les Browns are all over
the place you’re Zig Ziglar those are
different styles and I don’t want you if
you’re not feeling comfortable with it
it’s not you again look what works for
you become a student of charisma and
that’s what makes the biggest difference
cool
next up Lorie how do I keep going after
losing a sale hashtag car saleswoman
well just like we talked about before
you know getting in the zone so now
you’ve just been rejected which is part
of sales and you’re out of the zone
that’s it and that’s true for all of us
we don’t wanna be too rejected we feel
criticized we’ve been kicked in the head
left for dad right so we can mope it
complain and that’s the thing you need
to have a game plan in place to get
yourself back in the zone it’s
interesting that your new look at your
willpower yourself discipline in a lot
of ways it’s like a battery throughout
the day and rejection and criticism
drains the battery we get to the point
where you don’t care nobody loves you
and you don’t want to try anymore and
you don’t want to be there and so you
need to have a game plan in place what
works for you I don’t give you some
examples that work for other people you
pick and choose what works for you could
be Red Bull okay it could be getting a
walk in the sunshine it could be looking
at a picture your family it could be
looking at the term a boat you want it
could be looking at your goals they
could be talking to an optimistic person
it could be watching a funny YouTube
video humor has been shown to do you
know increase that energy and get you
back on track
maybe it’s nap maybe it’s meditation
maybe it’s prayer maybe it’s any of
those things maybe it’s a combination
when what works for you and the quicker
you do it I’ve noticed with great people
at high persuasion IQs a couple of
minutes they’re back in gear they’re
ready to roll ready to roll make it
happen I’m watching Tony Robbins
documentary I am NOT your guru and he’s
backstage and every time he comes on
stage he has his little mini routine
where he like sprays something in his
mouth does a 360 degree turn and claps
or something and then you know walks out
on the stage and he’s all motivated and
excited and so that may be whacking
crazy not work for most people but it
works for him and so you’re saying find
a thing that works for you to get you
excited to go out and be in that mindset
that’s called an anchor so if you do
have a a big victory or a big sail you
can do something maybe you want to press
your wrist or something like that so
next time you’re feeling down you
compress your wrist a lot of times that
triggers a lot of those emotions you
felt with a victory it takes well to get
that going but that’s what that’s called
as an anchor
people are really resonated with your
weakness reveals honesty and creates
credibility – Fernando a few others are
commenting about it do you have more
examples of that just taking a little
bit further of how showing that weakness
can make you more credible shorten okay
now here’s the key there people are so
skeptical and distrusting they’re
looking for something that’s wrong with
you your product or service or idea and
if you don’t give them one they’re gonna
assign one to you all right so you might
as well give one otherwise you’re too
good to be true even if it is true
you’re too good to be true so it’s not
true
here’s an example okay let’s say you’re
an entrepreneur and they’re right in
maybe it’s just two or three of you and
your company or even one right and
you’re going against a large company of
a couple hundred people and that’s a
perceived weakness breaking up they’re
gonna find out anyway so you know what
we’re lot smaller the next wasy company
I know you’re talking to them but you
know what we’re smaller we’re more
nimble you won’t get lost in the cracks
you let my cell phone I’ll answer 24
hours a day and we can get it done a lot
faster so I revealed a minor weakness
that yeah we are smaller but then I
turned that into a strength creates more
trust they’ve given them a weakness and
that makes all the difference in the
world
I really like I haven’t heard that
before that then if you don’t show
weakness people will assign one to you
that’s all-time low so there’s got to be
something wrong with you
right not you but other people yeah you
know I like that it’s interesting Jay
Rhys is asking if you don’t want to be
charismatic can charisma be delegated
sure as long as it over you’re trying to
influence gets influenced I teach that a
negotiation if you’re hitting a brick
wall your personalities are clash and
bringing someone apples you know
bringing another closer or another
negotiator another person another
manager that will have a start from zero
start from scratch so absolutely you can
learn charisma if you want to delegate
it and there’s someone that has that
that talent that skill you can
absolutely delegate it so far as
entrepreneurs and their teams and trying
to you know build their companies
forward and they’re trying to make that
critical you know self-awareness
discovery how do they decide whether
this is something that I really need to
understand I need to absorb and I’m the
one who needs to get better at it or I
know what I’m good at this isn’t it I
need to find the partner or the employee
or somebody under me to go and do that
how do you make that self assessment
well I’d say both so if you’re not
feeling that you have the skills that
you’re the you’re the product guy you’re
the engineer yeah you want to delegate
then finding good salespeople good sales
staff the regardless of where you are in
the company in the world where you’re at
you’ve gotta master these skills get
everything you wants on the other side
of influence with
you might be meeting with another
company it might be a future merger
might be a negotiation to get your
product costs down it might be people
that are looking to invest in your
company we all influence we’ve got to
master this skill we got to get others
to want to do what we want them to do it
like doing it so sure you can delegate
it but ultimately if you’re the one in
charge you’re the CEO you’re the one
people are gonna want to talk to you
they’re gonna judge you they want to see
if you’re influential they’re gonna look
at your body language I know it might
not feel fair but it’s reality that’s
how people are so what’s going to best
in your company or you need to negotiate
it’s good to be with you you’ve gotta
master these skills you can’t do
anything alone exactly
Oh Joe is loving the epic library behind
you there Kurt what’s your favorite book
on those shelves my favorite book Wow
let’s see there’s a lot behind there man
really good I you know I’ve read them I
said I read every book on persuasion
course I can recommend my books but a
one that I read reasons but in marketing
which is really interesting talks about
some those subconscious triggers depends
on the day now of course mindset we got
to go back to thinking Grow Rich the
subconscious Minds a great book on
mindset there’s some great books I do
realize collegiate books on influence
and studies because I don’t want to
teach it unless I can prove it a lot of
the books I get you know from the
universities then the social psychology
and and psychology why we do what we do
because that’s the key we’re so busy
that it’s just a feeling and so I really
enjoy those type of books I know a lot
of people who read thinking Grow Rich
every year is their annual tradition and
Brian Tracy was recently on the channel
you mentioned was a mentor I know he’s a
fan of it too are there any books there
that you revisit consistently either as
an annual tradition or you know just not
just a one and done but I keep coming
back to these books as gold lines of
information yeah thank you girl rich is
on that list
Brian Tracy’s book I’m focused which is
on time management which is something we
can always work on that’s a good one
so I don’t might revisit them every year
and I think you’d be rich I’d like to
listen to that all the time I listen to
a lot of different books
and it become time management I like to
review I always want to read right and
that’s the secret a Harvard study says
that those are learning and growing
every day the more optimistic they’re
more enthusiastic about where they go
and what they’re going to accomplish but
those who don’t learn and grow every day
become very negative pessimistic and
doubtful so it does something to us and
we learn the skills because I love what
Jim Rohn Tommy early on he says hey
every challenge you’re probably gonna
face as an entrepreneur someone’s
already faced it and written a book
about it right right some Thoreau a
podcast or a seminar VAD and you can
learn it in two days versus two months
so that’s very important to learn how to
do that loving the sweat shop Jim I’m a
young entrepreneur and work with a lot
of clients with a spectrum of
personalities how do I relate to such a
wide audience without coming off as fake
when you are sincere and genuine and
really care about the person you’re not
fake I know sometimes I go what if I
adapt what if I’m here and match if you
truly care about teams and their lives
especially in a gym if you don’t have
the mindset look if I don’t get them
going on a workout they’re gonna die
right I know that’s extreme but this is
for all entrepreneurs and all everyone
that influenced is that you have a moral
and ethical obligation to persuade
people because if you don’t at a gym
they’re not gonna work out and they’re
gonna have health problems or thinking I
can find an inferior product and with an
inferior company they’re not gonna
taking care of people you’ve got to
believe in what you’re doing your
product and service be sincere and
genuine truly care about the person I
guarantee you won’t come across this
fake a similar question comes from Rene
drew who’s talking about going into a
sales pitch and presenting the most
honest best version of herself versus
using deception to try to make them
close the sale honestly versus deception
convincing versus the truth where where
do you stand on that or advice that you
have I don’t well I would never use
deception deception would be
manipulation which would be it it’s not
a win-win you’re not revealing all the
information it’s not good for them but
if it’s a win-win and it’s a good thing
for them I would use all the tools of
persuasion to be able to persuade them
because again if you don’t someone’s
going to persuade them it’s probably to
be an inferior product that doesn’t care
as much as you care so it’s not
deception when you mirror
is that purse webster’s that’s in use
more tools it’s not deception to adapt
to their style as long as it’s a win-win
and it solves their problem you’ve
revealed everything then it’s not
deception deceptions when you’re lying
in and so you shouldn’t feel that way
you should feel it using all the tools
to persuade them can remember if you
don’t somebody else will and you’ve done
them a disservice because now they’re
with an inferior company or inferior
product sure G rise is asking how can an
online test
tell me what my persuasion IQ is do you
have an online test
persuasion IQ calm that’s simple so what
happens if you go there you take the
test what’s it gonna tell me how do i
you know get better what do i learn from
that
well doesn’t sugarcoat it it goes to
some scenario some questions about the
new rules of persuasion IQ and it gives
you the answers to the ones that you’ve
messed why you’ve missed it and then it
kicks you into an autoresponder which
helps you learn some more tools that’ll
help you out to be more successful cool
question coming in ask them what the
importance of building a youtube channel
to create a brand and communicating the
message what are your thoughts on that
yeah I mean it depends on your niche
obviously depends on the demographics
that you’re going after but yeah YouTube
social media that’s the next thing it
still is the thing and we don’t see
anything else that’s changing so YouTube
is the number two search engine now
people just want to see how it’s done
they want a quick solution to what
they’re running into so YouTube channel
again
the key thing for entrepreneurs is
remember this takes time it takes energy
it takes years to build and grow and to
massage you got to be committed to it
but if you are committed to it and I’m
gonna let it grow and put good
information on there it makes a big
difference when you help solve someone’s
problem and prove your Worth and show
your credibility YouTube can be a
powerful powerful thing and do you have
advice on that for having charisma and
influencing people when you’re just
talking into a camera I mean I know here
we’re talking into a camera each of us
but we’re still seeing each other where
when you’re doing a sales pitch and
usually you’re face to face with
somebody when you’re doing a YouTube
video you’re just talking right into a
camera there’s no audience
you know it could be hard maybe to get
that into G so I should be feed off of
other people do you have any
recommendations for talking into a
camera and still instantly beam it’ll
influence somebody sure it’s a learned
art to be able to get into a camera or
make it look real and sincere and
genuine and alive and that you’re not
just talking to the camera if you want
to start out get some friends and
families or complete strangers if you
want and get it audience right if that’s
what you need if that helps you out do
it there’s nothing wrong with that right
they’re not gonna see the audience but
you are do two or three different takes
and use the best one and eventually as
you get into it you’re not going to need
an audience eventually you’re gonna come
across as the most charismatic sincere
and genuine but if you’re just starting
out sometimes it’s very helpful to start
with an audience very cool
Kurt it’s crazy how quickly half an hour
flies by I appreciate the time you
sticking with us despite having the sore
throat it’s been a camping people or
love I get back is their final message
you want to leave people with sure
master these skills learn how to
persuade and influence parents teachers
leaders managers we all persuade for a
living you want to be more successful in
business you want to make the world a
better place you want to change people’s
lives mash these skills it’ll make a big
difference in you the world on your
income I love it thinker thank you so
much for joining us thank you guys for
watching go check out the maximize your
influence podcast every week to learn
some of these skills really should get
it Kurt and let’s see soon man okay
thank you appreciate it take care
alright Cheers
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