we’re gonna talk in the session about
the exact formula for what creates long
term happiness what creates unhappiness
what creates suffering and what the
antidotes are which there’s only three
how do I know this I’ve had the
privilege of being with four million
people now from a hundred countries
around the world live seminars and I’ve
seen everything you can imagine I mean
from the most successful people in the
world to these singularly most
challenged people you could possibly
imagine
I’ve dealt with people with multiple
personality disorders 52 different
personalities and how to put them back
together and I dealt with people with no
personality of a much bigger problem no
matter what the diversity of people I’ve
dealt with and the diversity you’ve seen
in this show the ultimate question I’m
always asking is how do I help people to
break through the question is what are
you breaking through to in essence all
of us at some level to feel alive have
to always feel like we’re growing when
people ask me what does it take to be
happy I always tell them one word
progress progress equals happiness even
if you’re not where you want to be yet
if you’re on the road if you’re
improving if you’re making progress
you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session on breakthrough
I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be then what are we mean by
a blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is you work hard in
school you become really great you’re a
nice person you’re a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you follow love you have a white picket
fence and you have three perfect
children and you live happily ever after
somebody else’s story the old story was
you work really hard in school you excel
in college you’re going to work for a
big corporation and you move up through
the ranks until you’re the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today of what
people’s lives are supposed to be like
are completely diverse they no longer
have these little are
types but when our type still seems to
remain Matt archetype is in order for
you to really feel like you’re enough
many people believe they have to achieve
an enormous amount they may do it in
different ways they may do it by
building a company and taking it public
when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you
know they find and create a new
technology or they become a very special
doctor but we live in a culture in the
West that teaches people that you’re not
enough unless you do something really
special and unique and we define special
and unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers like
they’re nobody and pay them accordingly
and we wonder why our children seem to
have challenges of learning and growing
or being engaged in school we spend
thousands of dollars on some item like a
computer but what we look at overall we
invest in for the teacher and for that
person who’s the personal connection
with them is so small we live in a
society where many women look down and
say well you’re just a housewife you’re
just a mother see some of the pain we
have in our society is not because
there’s one right or one wrong approach
but because we try to make everybody fit
into some particular approach to life
here’s what’s gonna make you happy or
make you unhappy in life it’s real
simple let’s do a quick test if you’re
in a situation right now where you look
at your life I know there’s an area of
your life that you probably feel pretty
darn good about even if you’re not happy
with your finances I bet you feel damn
good close to your kids or if you’re not
close to your kids maybe you don’t have
any kids maybe you feel really good
about your career if you’re doing not so
good in your career maybe you got a
really great body that you’ve trimmed
down or strengthened up or you know you
really shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or in the way you look or if
that’s not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God we’re
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life
they feel really good about if they’re
honest if they’re fair to themselves
what’s in your life you really feel
happy about I want you think about it
for a moment truthfully
what’s an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so now you’re doing darn
well in and if you’re really hard on
yourself there’s still an area what’s an
area I want you to think of it right now
now once you think of that area whether
it’s your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today I
really think about if you were in a
seminar with me I’d have you write this
down if you can you can put me on hold
here for a second because I’d like to
reveal to you what the formula is for
happiness and if I say there’s a formula
for happiness and here’s what it is
you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure that’s
what he says but if you put down the
answer and we can see the formulas real
without me telling you what it is you
get to look at your own life and say it
matches you’re gonna know this is right
so you could stop this right now if you
want put me on hold and just write down
what’s an area of your life you’re
really really happy about you’re really
pleased with or you could be if you
wanted to focus on it and why are you
happy with that part of your life right
now even if you’re not happy with
everything what’s the year you’re happy
with and why put me on hold right now or
you’re not gonna do that just think for
a moment why specifically be real why
now when I asked this if you’ve turned
me back on now if I ask this of an
audience I’ll have people write this
down for a few minutes and I’ll call on
people I’ll say share with the person
next to you first
what do you happy about and why are you
happy in that area and be specific
enough to be share I’ll have people
stand up I’ll call on a variety of
people and I say ma’am tell me what are
you happy about and she’ll say well
honestly I’m really happy with my body
she does I never thought I’d say that
but I used to be so unhappy with it and
you know I finally I did some things I
push myself through and now I exercise
regularly and eat I’m not perfect but I
feel fit I feel strong I feel energetic
and that’s really I don’t know it just
feels good to me now I say everybody I’m
not gonna
with the formula frappe inna says it’s
real simple I want to reveal it to you
so you don’t ever forget it whenever
you’re happy when the air of your life
it’s because right now your current life
experience I call it your LC your life
conditions the conditions of your life
your life conditions in that area match
or equal to your blueprint your story
your belief about how life should be in
that area so this woman says to me I’m
really happy in my body because it’s not
perfect her blueprint is I don’t need to
be perfect but it’s so much better than
it was unfit and I’m strong and I have
this energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way
well in my life my body matches how I
think it should be I feel good about my
life well that’s somebody else I’ll say
you know tell me they’re you’re happy
with someone else to say well I’m really
happy with my career and why well I’m
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m
working at this level in this company
and I have these skills and this ability
and it’s even better than I thought well
once again listen this person is happy
with this area of their life because
their current life conditions in the
area called their career are even better
than they expect that they would be
better than their blueprint better than
their belief about how it should be if
it’s really better you tend to be over
the moon but one moment would say you
know I can’t tell you I said I’m happy
he’s ever been in my whole life how come
she goes because I have this man in my
life and I’m in love with him and he
loves me and I can be myself with him
and he we have this incredible intimacy
and this passion and we want to be with
each other all the time and I never get
bored with him well what’s her blueprint
do you want to be with somebody that you
could have total intimacy with somebody
you love and loves you those are part of
her rules her beliefs um how it should
be she said you know it’s needs to be I
never want to be with anybody else I
want to be with him every moment her
blueprint about how life should be and
the way she lives her relationships even
better than she hoped when it’s better
than you hope you’re gonna be totally
excited so think about this then what’s
an area you’re not happy with let’s see
we can find the formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them that we really make sure excited
but to be happy at least Mita does not
to be perfect
but if you general your meaning what you
expect you want from your life in that
area feel good life conditions match
blueprint feel good so what makes you
feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question what’s an area
of life you’re not happy with let me be
honest with yourself and even if your
life is great all kinds of ways I’m sure
there’s an area you’d like to improve
anybody is honest if they’re doing great
in their career very often and don’t
take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong and they go I don’t have time
for it
but you really say guys I don’t feel
very competent that area so what’s an
area of your life that you are not as
happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
what I want to be that’s what we’re here
to do is like here’s what I want to be
here’s where I am it’s healthy to see
there’s a gap that makes me have this
hunger to strive to grow to feel alive
to expand as a human being so what’s an
area you’re not pleased with is it your
body is it your finances is it your
career is it your spiritual life or lack
thereof in terms of feeling connected in
that area is it your kids like what’s
the area what’s the area that’s not
where you want it to be
and then answer for a moment why aren’t
you happy with that area of your life
right now
why specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life
again you can stop this and write it
down might be useful for you or if
you’re gonna keep it running can you
stop it and you’ll turn it right back on
I’ll kick into it do that now or if you
kept it running then just I’ll give you
what happens I have people write this
down and they don’t like this exercise
so much oh I don’t like my body or I
don’t like my finances I don’t like my
career I don’t like the person I’m in a
relationship with I don’t like myself
the way I’m in relationships why they
write it all down how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people in
advance here’s the formula for
unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and I said
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy with the person says well you know
I’m really not happy with my finances
and I go why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago
I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy
and why are they crazy you say well
because they don’t have their economic
needs met no you can now have your
economic needs met and you can still be
okay but when you have an idea this is
what my need is and I did the wrong
thing my life doesn’t match how I’m
supposed to be that’s when people get a
little crazy so you think about it if
you grew up taking care of folding your
own clothes making your own meals going
to the store doing the grocery shopping
cleaning the bedroom cleaning the house
vacuuming taking out the trash and you
did that your whole life then if you
have to do that later on you don’t feel
like you have economic pain because you
don’t have a maid but if you grew up an
environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and house is dirty and your
clothes aren’t folded and nothing
matches you might find yourself really
angry and frustrated because you have a
different story about how life’s
supposed to be than how it is someone
else will say well I’ll tell you why
because I’m in a situation now where you
know I’m 30 pounds everything I should
be should be the key word there are
people there are people in all cultures
who love being big there are people
that’ll walk around and someone else
might think they’re massively overweight
but they’re gone I own this honey and
they really truly they match their
blueprint big is beautiful cuz their
ideas big is beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I’ll people write down those
experiences like Joaquin
so you’ll begin to understand what the
issue is I’m talking about here while
keen if you recall was in a situation
where this man felt like there was no
reason to live he couldn’t work he
couldn’t do anything his life was
worthless why did he think that because
he had a blueprint and his blueprint
said I need be an NBA basketball player
at least a professional basketball
player I need to be able to make money
and have this great lifestyle because
that’s what makes me worthwhile as a
human being that’s what makes my family
respect me my mother my uncle’s my aunts
I am the successful one in the family
and I make the money I support everybody
he’s a good man he didn’t come just to
be successful he took care of his mother
his families he tried to be an
inspiration for people
Joaquin Hawkins is a man I was always
going out on his free time and training
kids and showing them the pathway to
freedom how they could play basketball
and get free like he did and get out of
the inner city so this man is not a
selfish man but he knew this is the way
to be worthwhile this is the way to be
able to give to people this is the way
to take care of your family and all of a
sudden one night what happened that way
was taken from him he has a stroke in
another night his life conditions make
it impossible to be who he has to be or
he feels like he’s worthless to get it
we have an identity we have a story of
how we’re supposed to be and if life
somehow gets in the way of that story we
feel pain but if we feel we have no
control that’s when we go into suffering
see it’s one thing to say my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I got to lose
weight that might stress you out or my
wife doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not
in a relationship
I gotta get in one that might motivate
you even you might not like it but
you’re gonna find a way to get on with
or my career doesn’t matter I should be
you could change it but when you start
believing that your life doesn’t match
your blueprint
and you have no control to change it
you’re helpless that’s when people
suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it’s a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you’re really having pain Hey
look if you’re doing great in some area
of your life celebrate of course and I’m
sure there are many areas you are but
life is really a series of growth spurts
I mean two things in life make you feel
alive growing and giving and what’s
really wonderful about this man Joaquin
is he was constantly growing trying to
get better trying to be a better team
made a better basketball player think
about it when he didn’t make the teams
and didn’t make the NBA he didn’t give
up he worked even harder the guy was
always striving striving to become
something and he became it and he
achieved it and then life took it from
him isn’t that the common denominator
was so many of the people and the
stories of this six-part series that you
saw these six specials I mean Frank and
Kristen had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married to have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and then ask for this
chair does not define me I can become
more than I was before I can have the
impact on my wife I can have children we
had to change his blueprint because we
couldn’t change all the conditions of
his life does that make sense I couldn’t
get him to physically walk again maybe
someday he will but we can’t count on
that well we gotta count on is that he
can be fulfilled by seeing he isn’t
helpless that I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
our Keane said well I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball
player and he was locked into that
mindset and all of us get locked at
times but to his credit to his system of
steps we were able to break him out of
that we would get him to see that he
isn’t helpless cuz here’s your choice
watch this now if you’re suffering if
you’re in pain your life doesn’t match
how you think it should date and you
think you’re helpless to change it now
you have only three choices choice one
blame something and that’s what fucking
did if you recall he blamed his coach he
blamed what happened to him and of
course these things were outside his
control but he blamed his coach and a
big part of the healing if you watch
this session was bringing his coach in
and getting him to see he you know when
all that anger all that resentment
inside of you Joaquin a it’s not based
on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela
said you know having resentment in your
soul is like drinking poison and hoping
that your enemy will die it doesn’t work
that way
and when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn’t
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don’t know how to
change it so I’m looking for something
to be mad about someone to blame so so I
don’t have to blame myself or I don’t
have to feel so helpless
cuz when you’re angry you don’t feel so
helpless you feel strong for the moment
even though it’s a fake strength when he
was able to make that breakthrough he
could stop blaming cuz these are three
choices when life doesn’t match how you
think it should be blame something an
event someone else or yourself as we
talked about earlier in the series blame
games just destroy you there’s no
progress when you play for the moment
you feel okay but nothing changes what
are your real choices you only have two
choices in life if life doesn’t match
your blueprint you either have to change
your life that is you gotta say you know
what my body isn’t there I’m gonna go
work out my relationship is in there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
what I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can’t
change your life you’re gonna have to
change your blueprint
usually in life it requires a little bit
of each does that make sense and if
you’ve changed your take change your
life and change your blueprint you can
have an extraordinary life and what you
witness this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
he’d love to play basketball but
professional basketball is no longer a
part of it and we had to get Joaquin to
shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor for
all of us because all of us are gonna
have times in our life when what we want
or think life should be like isn’t gonna
match how life really is those moments
if we blame our life goes into pain if
we change we can change our life and
match our blueprint but we have to also
know when it’s not within our control
and that’s how we’re able to make a
shift to change what our story is for
our life what our expectations are not
by lowering them but by changing what
that model really is helping this make
sense to you I’ll give you a great
example
years ago I I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds of walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details we can’t
figure out exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people’s idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on them through
counselling she’s got all these
different drugs nothing’s working
she’s taking antidepressants and she’s
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is I know if someone’s depressed
it’s because they feel helpless because
their life doesn’t matter they think it
should be I just didn’t know what her
blueprint is but we’ll find out what it
is and we’ll either help her change your
life or Whopper change your blueprint or
both
long story short very quickly I’ll tell
you the core of it which came to me and
she spent maybe the first half an hour
telling me apologizing saying I know I
should be happier I know it’s silly for
me to be depressed I don’t know why I’m
so depressed III know I should be
grateful for what I have and I am
grateful and it was all these reasons
why she knows she should feel good but
still didn’t I try to finally explain to
her listen I don’t care about that I
care about you the fact that you’re not
happy has nothing to do with what you
have or don’t have the fact that you’re
not happy is that your life doesn’t
match the way you think it should be and
you have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this
depressed after all this time you feel
like you can’t do anything you have no
power to change it you feel helpless and
she looked at me in a certain way and I
said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well it
sounds stupid
I said like it sounds stupid to me she
said well I don’t know I just always
since I was a little girl dreamed that I
would be married and I’ll have three
basically perfect children and they
would love me totally and my above my
husband he loved me and I said okay so
how’s that working for you so far and
she said well I think you know cuz
pretty famous person she said I’m
divorced twice I have no children and
now X age and to give you a clue that
age would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don’t you just
adopt says no no no no no that’s not it
and so what I had to dig under is
remember we talked and one of the
earlier sessions about there’s the
surface problem and then there’s the
deeper desire or need so I said to her I
said well what if you couldn’t have the
husband but you could have the kids and
she smiled she said I’d take that I said
well why not adopted kid she goes now it
has to be my own blood children so I
kept digging to find out what was behind
her blueprint because your blueprint is
just a projection of what you think you
need to be happy but as human beings
were notoriously ineffective at knowing
that’s gonna make us happy so much of we
think we’re gonna make us happy we get
there and we go is this all there is so
many things that we think are gonna make
us miserable and we can never deal with
we go through it we can handle it we’re
not good at projecting these things and
all kinds of studies will show this so I
said to her well what what are you
hoping to get from these three children
why do they have to be your blood
children and she finally said well if
they’re my blood children I know they’ll
always love me they’ll never leave me
what was she looking for unconditional
love she had this big blueprint that
said white house picket fence three
children perfect husband you know all
these different things but what was
behind that was a need a need to feel
like she could have love that would be
certain and wouldn’t go away so I can
help her meet that need so I said to her
I said well maybe one reason you don’t
have a husband is because every time you
look at one you’re trying to figure out
if he’s gonna get you those three kids
in time and how that’s gonna happen and
maybe he feels a little stressed when
you slow you’re looking at in this way
because he can feel what’s going on
behind your bed even if he doesn’t know
what the words are and she started to
laugh because I guess I’ve probably been
there a good portion of my life
and she goes people wonder you know why
I’m so uptight
I said you’re uptight because you were
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love
I said don’t Chapel I love a new life
tell me about your friends and gradually
I got her to start seeing this love that
she was trying to get was already here
it didn’t match the picture maybe maybe
we could paint a new picture of what
life could really be like and make sure
that picture met her deepest needs
that’s basically we did Joaquin Joaquin
wanted to be professional basketball
player cuz he loved basketball yes but
also because he wanted to be that man
who was a leader he wanted to be a man
who was the good man he wanted to be the
one who brought energy to people he want
to be the man people would look up to
you want to be the man who could take
care of his family and style all of his
family not just his daughters and his
wife but other people as well underneath
it all he wanted to know that he
mattered and through the process that
you saw in the show he began to find out
that he didn’t need to be angry at the
world that yes his blueprint was taken
from him but his soul and his ability to
be a special human being and I could
touch other people was not taken from
him that may be his real gift was his
ability to inspire young kids his
ability to get himself to do whatever it
took how do you become a professional
basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
Drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started
change it’s turned out by Mary could
come home and take care of his kids and
pay his bills that doesn’t solve
everything but it gives him a way to
suddenly regain himself when he sat
around with all of his family you saw
part of those scenes and if you watch
little areas of browsing this week
you’ll see some more scenes from his
family where you see him begin you
realize they love me whether I’m rich or
poor they love me
I’m a professional basketball player not
they love me that’s what he was really
after when he got that it allowed him to
let go and say I can do other things
that doesn’t mean he won’t have
challenges we’re all gonna have
challenges in our life he admit it
doesn’t mean that at times he won’t wish
he’s doing more but he’s no longer stuck
he’s broken through because he now knows
I have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and what I do I
can fulfill it I can start to fail that
aliveness now here’s the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you’re living that way live in that
way living that way everyday well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored
with that and you’ll come up with a new
blueprint that’s part of the part of
life that’s exciting see if you and I
are from this day forward are gonna be
happy just remember we’ve said it takes
two things grow and give a meaningful
life comes from growing that sense of
progress and it comes from having life
not just be about me but about we doing
something that makes me feel connected
to other people besides myself that
growth that sense of contribution fills
a deep spiritual need that we all have
if you are unhappy in your life you got
three choices really to blame that’s not
a choice it’s not gonna work don’t blame
someone else don’t blame you that don’t
blame yourself just figure out what
you’re gonna do to change your life
that’s my specialty if you like my
coaching or my team’s coaching come
visit with us come doing event come get
a coach come to a program but we’ll
guide you through it more than just a
few minutes like this and we’ll do it
directly an environment that will shift
you or change your blueprint you’re
gonna have to rewire what’s going on
inside and that’s what we focus on as
well so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope it’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else and
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again if we’d love to coach
you and show you how to change those in
a permanent way where it happens
automatically just like lifting weights
so often till the muscle is always there
and you find yourself able to follow
through it takes for you to be able to
figure out how to deal with crisis you
have to turn
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you
it takes putting yourself in a position
where you connect to what’s more
important than just yourself what you
value than just yourself and it takes I
think in this case also the ability to
realize that no matter what happens to
you you’re more than that moment you’re
more than the story you think you’re
supposed to be and that even when you’re
not matching what you think you need to
be maybe there’s a reason for that maybe
you’re having to find a different part
of yourself that’s gonna fulfill you at
a much deeper level sometimes failing to
get your goal gives you your destiny I
can’t tell you how many people I’ve
known over the years who have an idea if
what they thought their life was
supposed to be like and they didn’t
achieve it they felt miserable and upset
and frustrated and one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god thank
God that didn’t happen
I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great
song and it’s a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her and she
didn’t even know that he existed and he
prayed to God every day that she would
notice him that she would fall in love
with him and then sure enough if she
never did he was so disappointed his
blueprint didn’t match his life didn’t
match it because she didn’t even know he
existed and he felt this suffering he
could do nothing to turn it around well
15 years later he became a guy named
Garth Brooks somebody everybody knew and
he could rock you know stadiums with his
energy in a song at his music and he
goes back to being this high school
reunion it was his 15 year even if I
remember correctly I remember the exact
year but all I remember is he said he
saw that woman that he was so obsessed
by I was looking forward to seeing her
and now I’m just Garth Brooks and he met
her and after he met her and spent some
time with her he wrote a song called
thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happen because
the disappointment drives you to find
something more important inside of you
or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect
a family aspect a physical aspect if you
can just trust that life doesn’t happen
to you it happens for you then you can
find in any situation a benefit that can
take your life to the next level I don’t
care if you’re Frank and Kristen I don’t
care if you’re you know Mandy and Scott
I don’t care if you’re Joaquin and Kim
every one of us in our life is gonna
feed faced situations where it feels
like we have total trauma something
that’s been taken from us the real
question is what are you gonna do with
it some people just live in the story of
what they don’t have and they have the
right to do that if Frank and Kristen
lived in pain and felt bad we’d all say
they have the right to do it it’s a
different thing what you have the right
to do and what you deserve to give
yourself and others we have the ability
to transcend whatever happens to us
there’s something called post-traumatic
growth very few people know about it two
people go through the same stress ones
destroyed the other grows what’s the
difference the people that grow will not
give up they don’t have any excuses they
find the way to break through whatever
it takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they’re capable of
they realize there’s so much stronger
than they thought they were and number
two they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
to who you love and who loves you go
through some tragedy go through some
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away
your real friends your real family shows
up for you and you show up for them and
it deepens your relationships and the
third thing happens if you can push
yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you is
each time you have a breakthrough you
get stronger and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you we’re
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore
cuz after you’ve been through a stroke
after you’ve been through you know
losing the use of some of your body or
senses after you lose a family member
and you break through to that you get to
the other side it’s like give me your
best shot life it’s almost like there’s
this psychological immunity that says
I’m ready for whatever life will give me
I don’t want challenges but if they’re
here I know I can
that strength of spirit is what creates
a sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly a never-ending thing you way
to improve yourself and to help others
that’s my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope you’ll
check us out there’s three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend and are
unleash the power within or our date
with destinies I think you’ll find it’s
very different than just sitting here
talking to you quietly sitting in front
of your computer screen it’s a
rock’n’roll environment it’s like going
to the ballpark and having one person
sitting there talking to you versus
being in the ball park or the rock and
roll concert you know with 50,000
there’s an energy and a power that comes
from it second is there’s immersion here
we talked for an hour there’s
distractions and emails there it’s total
focus and we go for an immersion we’re
literally what we did here over six
weeks few little conversations all that
happens over and over again multiple
times a day and you get that shift so
come to an event or call up and get a
coach we have people that you can work
with and have a free coaching session
and make sure it’s really valuable for
you but these are people that can check
in with you to help make sure you break
through you make the changes you want to
make and your career your finances your
body or your emotions or whatever area
matters to you and finally lastly and
probably most importantly every day you
got to feed your mind cuz every day most
of us are turning on you know some form
of news it shows up in our pocket and
our blackberries or I you know iPods or
iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us and it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they’re gonna change your
life and we have a way to do it called
net time no extra time a wave where you
can keep feeding your mind the stuff
that really matters with some products
or services so if you’re interested in
any of those things be sure to click on
your interest of an event or interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is with video
got to sit here potentially and watch me
but with audio you can do it while
you’re working out you can do it while
you’re cleaning the house you can do it
while you’re driving in the car
why are you getting to work we’d love to
continue serving you in any way we can I
know I’ve gone long in this session but
I really want you to think about how can
I get my life the way I want it to be
the way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a life thank you for the
time that we spent together here I’ve
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this breakthrough series remind you to
never settle for less than you can be
never settle for less than you can give
or you can share LIVESTRONG loop of
passion and god bless
welcome back to your breakthrough we’re
gonna talk in the session about the
exact formula for what creates long-term
happiness what creates unhappiness what
creates suffering and what the antidotes
are which there’s only three how do I
know this I’ve had the privilege of
being with four million people now from
a hundred countries around the world
live seminars and I’ve seen everything
you can imagine I mean from the most
successful people in the world to these
single the most challenged people you
could possibly imagine I’ve dealt with
people with multiple personality
disorders 52 different personalities and
how to put them back together and I
dealt with people with no personality of
a much bigger problem no matter what the
diversity of people I dealt with and the
diversity you’ve seen in this show the
ultimate question I’m always asking is
how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we’re growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy I always
tell them one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you’re not
where you want to be yet if you’re on
the road if you’re improving if you’re
making progress you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session on breakthrough
all I’ll say it’s really simple if you
and I want to know what it takes to be
happy we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be then what are we mean by
a blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is
you work hard in school you become
really great you’re a nice person you’re
a good person and then you grow up and
you take care of yourself and you find
the ideal man and you fall in love you
have a white picket fence and you have
three perfect children and you live
happily ever after somebody else’s story
the old story was you work really hard
in school you excel in college you’re
going to work for a big corporation and
you move up through the ranks until
you’re the President or chairman of the
company and you become successful
respected throughout life these are some
old stories obviously the stories that
we hear today of what people’s lives are
supposed to be like are completely
diverse we no longer have these little
Ark types but when our type still seems
to remain that archetype is in order for
you to really feel like you’re enough
many people believe they have to achieve
an enormous amount they may do it in
different ways they may do it by
building a company and taking a public
when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you
know they find and create a new
technology or they become a very special
doctor but we live in a culture in the
West that teaches people that you’re not
enough unless you do something really
special and unique and we define special
and unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children day and night
sculpting their minds their bodies their
souls and their future is not special we
live in a world today where we treat
teachers like they’re nobody and pay
them accordingly and we wonder why our
children seem to have challenges of
learning and growing or being engaged in
school we spend thousands of dollars on
some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you’re just
a housewife you’re just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there’s one right or one
wrong approach but because we try to
make everybody fit into some particular
approach to life here’s what’s gonna
make you happy or make
you unhappy in life it’s real simple
let’s do a quick test if you’re in a
situation right now where you look at
your life I know there’s an area of your
life that you probably feel pretty darn
good about even if you’re not happy with
your finances I bet you feel damn good
close to your kids or if you’re not
close to your kids maybe you don’t have
any kids maybe you feel really good
about your career if you’re doing not so
good in your career maybe you got a
really great body that you’ve trimmed
down or strengthened up or you know you
really shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or the way you look or if
that’s not happening made me feel really
special connection with God or really
close to your mother or father your
family whatever almost everybody has an
area of their life they feel really good
about if they’re honest and if they’re
fair to themselves what’s in your life
you really feel happy about how much you
think about it for a moment truthfully
what’s an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so no you’re doing darn
well in and if you’re really hard on
yourself there’s still an area what’s an
area I want to think of it right now and
once you think of that area whether it’s
your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today
really think about
if you were in a seminar with me I’d
have you write this down if you can’t
you can put me on hold here for a second
because I’d like to reveal to you what
the formula is for happiness and if I
say there’s a formula for happiness and
here’s what it is you’re gonna go yeah
yeah sure that’s what he says but if you
put down the answer and we can see the
formulas real without me telling you
what it is you get to look at your own
life and say it matches you’re gonna
know this is right so you could stop
this right now if you want put me on
hold and just write down what’s an area
of your life you’re really really happy
about
you’re really pleased with or you could
be if you wanted to focus on it and why
are you happy with that part of your
life right now we’re gonna happy with
everything what’s your you’re happy with
and why put me on hold right now or
you’re not gonna do that just think for
a moment why specifically be real why
now when they ask this if you’ve turned
me back on now if I ask this of an
audience I’ll have people write this
down for a few minutes and I’ll call in
people I’ll say share with the person
next to you first
what do you happy about and why are you
happy in that area and be specific and
after they share I’ll have people stand
up I’ll call in a variety people and I
say ma’am tell me what are you happy
about she’ll say well honestly I’m
really happy with my body she does I
never thought I’d say that but I used to
be so unhappy with it and you know I
finally I did some things I push myself
through and now I exercise regularly and
eat I’m not perfect but I feel fit I
feel strong I feel energetic and that’s
really I don’t know it just feels good
to me now I say everybody I’m now gonna
show you what the formula for happiness
is and it’s real simple I want to reveal
it to you so you don’t ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the air of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC or life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area
match or equal to your blueprint your
story your belief about how life should
be in that area so this woman says to me
I’m really happily my body because it’s
not perfect her blueprint is I don’t
need to be perfect but it’s so much
better than it was
I’m fit and I’m strong and I have this
energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way or my life my body matches how
I think it should be
I feel good about my life I’ll ask
somebody else I’ll say you know tell me
there you’re happy with someone else to
say well I’m really happy with my career
and why well I’m doing better than I
even thought I would be I mean I I’m
ahead of the schedule of where I hoped
I’d be at this stage I’m working at this
level in this company and I have these
skills and this ability and it’s even
better than I thought well once again
listen this person is happy with this
area of their life because their current
life conditions in the area called their
career are even better than they expect
that they would be better than their
blueprint better than their belief about
how it should be it’s really better you
tend to be over the moon but one would
say you know I I kind of tell you I said
I’m happy he’s ever been in my whole
life how come she goes because I have
this man in my life and I’m in love with
him and he loves me and I can be myself
with him and he we have this incredible
intimacy and this passion and we want to
be with each other all the time and I
never get bored with him
what’s her blueprint do you want to be
with somebody that you can have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs um how it should be she said
it you know it’s needs to be I never
want to be with anybody else I want to
be with him every moment her blueprint
about how life should be and the way she
lives her relationships even better than
she hoped when it’s better than you hope
you’re gonna be totally excited so think
about this then what’s an area you’re
not happy with let’s see we can find the
formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them how can we really make sure excited
but to be happy at least Mita
doesn’t have to be perfect but if you
generally are meaning what you expect
you want from your life in that area
feel good right conditions match
blueprint feel good so what makes you
feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration feel easy way to figure it
out answer this question
what’s an area your life you’re not
happy with let me be honest with
yourself and even if your life is great
all kinds of ways I’m sure there’s an
area you’d like to improve anybody is
honest if they’re doing great in their
career very often don’t take care of
their body so much if they’re really
focused on their body you know very
often they find themselves in a position
where they’re not spending enough time
with their kids or if they’re spending
time with their kids their intimate
relationships not doing so well because
it’s the nature of human beings to focus
on areas they feel comfortable with and
strong in and give those time and the
areas they don’t feel so strong there
they go I don’t have time for it what
you’re really saying is I don’t feel
very competent that area so what’s an
area of your life that you are not as
happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
wetherbee that’s what we’re here to do
is like here’s what I want to be here’s
where I am it’s healthy to see there’s a
gap that makes me have this hunger this
drive to grow to feel alive to expand as
human being so what’s an area you’re not
pleased with is it your body is it your
finances is it your career is it your
spiritual life or lack thereof in terms
of feeling connected in that area is it
your kids like what’s the area what’s
the area that’s not where you want it to
be and then answer for a moment why
aren’t you happy with that area of your
life right now why specifically today
are you not happy with that area of your
life at this stage of your time of your
life again you can stop this and write
it down might be useful for you or
they’re gonna keep it running you can
stop it and you’ll turn it right back on
it I’ll kick into it do that now or if
you kept it running then just I’ll give
you what happens I have people write
this down and they don’t like this
exercise so much
I don’t like my body or I don’t like my
finances I don’t like my career I don’t
like the person I’m in a relationship
with I don’t like myself the way I’m in
relationships why they write it all down
how people share back and forth I call
on people and the lessons pretty clear I
tell people in advance here’s the
formula for unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living a
life today does not match it doesn’t
equal your blueprint your story of how
it’s supposed to be then you’re gonna
have disappointment frustration or pain
if your life is way different than the
way you think it’s supposed to be you
can have enormous pain if it’s a little
different you might feel stressed make
sense so people stand up and I said tell
me you know what see oh you’re not happy
when the person says well you know I’m
really not happy with my finances and I
go why and they say because I’m doing
worse now than I was five years ago I
made mistakes in the market and at this
stage of my life I should have this much
money and I don’t have it and I don’t
know how to change it and it’s making me
crazy and why are they crazy you say
well because they don’t have their
economic needs met no you cannot have
your economic needs met and you could
still be okay but when you have an idea
this is what my need is and I did the
wrong thing my life doesn’t match how
I’m supposed to be that’s when people
get a little crazy so you think about it
if you grew up taking care of folding
your own clothes making your own meals
going to the store doing the grocery
shopping cleaning the bedroom cleaning
the house vacuuming taking out the trash
and you did that your whole life then if
you have to do that later on you don’t
feel like you have economic pain because
you don’t have a maid but if you grew up
an environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and the house is dirty and
your clothes aren’t folded and nothing
matches you might find yourself really
angry and frustrated because you have a
different story about how life’s
supposed to be than how it is
someone also say well I’ll tell you why
because I’m in a situation now where you
know I’m 30 pounds everything I should
be should be the keyword there are
people there are people in all cultures
who love being big there are people that
walk around and someone else might think
they’re massively overweight but they’re
gone I own this honey and they really
truly they match their blueprint big is
beautiful cuz they’re ideas big is
beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when I ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life your life isn’t worth living or we
feel like a pain that just will never go
away and I’ll people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while Keane if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need be an NBA
basketball player at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my
uncle’s my aunts I am the successful one
in the family and I make the money I
support everybody he’s a good man he
didn’t come just to be successful he
took care of his mother his families he
tried to be an inspiration for people
Joaquin Hawkins is a man who was always
going out on his free time and training
kids and showing them the pathway to
freedom how they could play basketball
and get free like he did and get out of
the inner city this man is not a selfish
man but he knew this is the way to be
worthwhile this is the way to be able to
give to people this is the way to take
care of your family
and all of a sudden one night what
happened that way was taken from him he
has a stroke in another night his life
conditions make it impossible to be who
he has to be or he feels like he’s
worthless to get it we have an identity
we have a story of how we’re supposed to
be and if life somehow gets in the way
of that story we feel pain but if we
feel we have no control that’s when we
go into suffering see it’s one thing to
say my life doesn’t match my blueprint I
got to lose weight that might stress you
out or my life doesn’t match my
blueprint I’m not in a relationship I
gotta get in one that might motivate you
even you might not like it but you’re
gonna find a way to get on with or my
career doesn’t matter I should be you
could change it but when you start
believing that your life doesn’t match
your blueprint and you have no control
to change it you’re helpless that’s when
people suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it’s a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you’re really having pain Hey
look if you’re doing great in some area
of your life celebrate of course and I’m
sure there are many areas you are but
life is really a series of growth spurts
I mean two things in life make you feel
alive growing and giving and what’s
really wonderful about this man Joaquin
is he was constantly growing trying to
get better trying to be a better team
made a better basketball player think
about it when he didn’t make the team’s
I didn’t make the NBA he didn’t give up
he worked even harder the guy was always
striving striving to become something
and he became it and he achieved it and
then life took it from him
isn’t that the common denominator with
so many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristen
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married and have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and didn’t ask for
this chair does not define me I can
become more than I was before I can have
the impact on my wife I can have
children we had to change his blueprint
because we couldn’t change all the
conditions of his life does that make
sense I couldn’t get him to physically
walk again maybe someday he will but we
can’t count on that well we got a count
on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing
he isn’t helpless
and I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
our Keane said while I I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and you think you’re
helpless to change it now you have only
three choices choice one blame something
and that’s what Joaquin did if you
recall he blamed his coach he blamed
what happened to him and of course these
things were outside his control but he
blamed his coach and a big part of the
healing if you watch this session was
bringing his coach in and getting him to
see Eddie you know when all that anger
all that resentment inside of you Akeem
a it’s not based on the truth and be
like Nelson Mandela said you know having
resentment in your soul is like drinking
poison and hoping that your enemy will
die it doesn’t work that way and when
what Keane was able to break out his
breakthrough was a change in perception
to realize this coach wasn’t stopping me
I just felt like I lost everything and
so I don’t know how to change it so I’m
looking for something to be mad about
someone to blame so so I don’t have to
blame myself or I don’t have to feel so
helpless because when your
you don’t feel so helpless you feel
strong for the moment even though it’s a
fake strength when he was able to make
that breakthrough he could stop blaming
because these are three choices when
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be blame something an event
someone else or yourself as we talked
about earlier in the series blame games
just destroy you there’s no progress
when you play for the moment you feel
okay but nothing changes what are your
real choices you only have two choices
in life if life doesn’t match your
blueprint you either have to change your
life that is you gotta say you know what
my body isn’t there I’m gonna go work
out my relationship is in there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
one I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can’t
change your life you’re gonna have to
change your blueprint usually in life it
requires a little bit of each does that
make sense and if you’ve changed your
take change your life and change your
blueprint you can have an extraordinary
life and what you witnessed this man do
was once he let go of his anger and his
denial once he started to look at things
he began to find by spending time with
his family that he was worthwhile being
loved while he played basketball or not
of course he’d love to play basketball
but professional basketball is no longer
a part of it and we had to get Joaquin
to shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor
for all of us because all of us are
gonna have times in our life when what
we want or think life should be like
isn’t gonna match how life really is
those moments if we blame our life goes
into pain if we change we can change our
life and match our blueprint but we have
to also know when it’s not within our
control and that’s how we’re able to
make a shift and change what our story
is for our life what our expectations
are not by lowering them but by changing
what that model really is helping us
make sense to you I’ll give you a great
example
years ago I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds of walks of life
and I was dealing with a group of people
and they knew a very very powerful
celebrity and without to give that
person privacy I won’t tell you too many
details who can’t figure out exactly who
it is but it would be a person who was
very successful as a woman who was
extremely attracted by cultural
standards a woman who’s had a lot of
dear friends a lot of deep respect so
great skill great ability extremely
talented quite attractive quite wealthy
in financial terms and lots of great
friends this would be for most people’s
idea the ultimate blueprint if your life
matches that description you must have
an incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on the through
counselling she’s got all these
different drugs nothing’s working she’s
thinking and depressants and she’s still
depressed which is not uncommon by the
way because if you change the way you
feel physically but you still see your
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is
I know if someone’s depressed it’s
because they feel helpless because their
life doesn’t match what they think it
should be
[Music]
the exact formula for what creates long
term happiness what creates unhappiness
what creates suffering and what the
antidotes are which there’s only three
how do I know this I’ve had the
privilege of being with four million
people now from a hundred countries
around the world live seminars and I’ve
seen everything you can imagine I mean
from the most successful people in the
world to these singularly most
challenged people you could possibly
imagine
I’ve dealt with people with multiple
personality disorders 52 different
personalities and how to put them back
together and I dealt with people with no
personality of a much bigger problem no
matter what the diversity of people I’ve
dealt with and the diversity you’ve seen
in this show the ultimate question I’m
always asking is how do I help people to
break through the question is what are
you breaking through to in essence all
of us at some level to feel alive have
to always feel like we’re growing when
people ask me what does it take to be
happy I always tell them one word
progress progress equals happiness even
if you’re not where you want to be yet
if you’re on the road if you’re
improving if you’re making progress
you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session on breakthrough
I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be then what are we mean by
a blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is you work hard in
school you become really great you’re a
nice person you’re a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you follow love you have a white picket
fence and you have three perfect
children and you live happily ever after
somebody else’s story the old story was
you work really hard in school you excel
in college you’re going to work for a
big corporation and you move up through
the ranks until you’re the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today of what
people’s lives are supposed to be like
are completely diverse they no longer
have these little are
types but when our type still seems to
remain Matt archetype is in order for
you to really feel like you’re enough
many people believe they have to achieve
an enormous amount they may do it in
different ways they may do it by
building a company and taking it public
when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you
know they find and create a new
technology or they become a very special
doctor but we live in a culture in the
West that teaches people that you’re not
enough unless you do something really
special and unique and we define special
and unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers like
they’re nobody and pay them accordingly
and we wonder why our children seem to
have challenges of learning and growing
or being engaged in school we spend
thousands of dollars on some item like a
computer but what we look at overall we
invest in for the teacher and for that
person who’s the personal connection
with them is so small we live in a
society where many women look down and
say well you’re just a housewife you’re
just a mother see some of the pain we
have in our society is not because
there’s one right or one wrong approach
but because we try to make everybody fit
into some particular approach to life
here’s what’s gonna make you happy or
make you unhappy in life it’s real
simple let’s do a quick test if you’re
in a situation right now where you look
at your life I know there’s an area of
your life that you probably feel pretty
darn good about even if you’re not happy
with your finances I bet you feel damn
good close to your kids or if you’re not
close to your kids maybe you don’t have
any kids maybe you feel really good
about your career if you’re doing not so
good in your career maybe you got a
really great body that you’ve trimmed
down or strengthened up or you know you
really shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or in the way you look or if
that’s not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God we’re
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life
they feel really good about if they’re
honest if they’re fair to themselves
what’s in your life you really feel
happy about I want you think about it
for a moment truthfully
what’s an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so now you’re doing darn
well in and if you’re really hard on
yourself there’s still an area what’s an
area I want you to think of it right now
now once you think of that area whether
it’s your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today I
really think about if you were in a
seminar with me I’d have you write this
down if you can you can put me on hold
here for a second because I’d like to
reveal to you what the formula is for
happiness and if I say there’s a formula
for happiness and here’s what it is
you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure that’s
what he says but if you put down the
answer and we can see the formulas real
without me telling you what it is you
get to look at your own life and say it
matches you’re gonna know this is right
so you could stop this right now if you
want put me on hold and just write down
what’s an area of your life you’re
really really happy about you’re really
pleased with or you could be if you
wanted to focus on it and why are you
happy with that part of your life right
now even if you’re not happy with
everything what’s the year you’re happy
with and why put me on hold right now or
you’re not gonna do that just think for
a moment why specifically be real why
now when I asked this if you’ve turned
me back on now if I ask this of an
audience I’ll have people write this
down for a few minutes and I’ll call on
people I’ll say share with the person
next to you first
what do you happy about and why are you
happy in that area and be specific
enough to be share I’ll have people
stand up I’ll call on a variety of
people and I say ma’am tell me what are
you happy about and she’ll say well
honestly I’m really happy with my body
she does I never thought I’d say that
but I used to be so unhappy with it and
you know I finally I did some things I
push myself through and now I exercise
regularly and eat I’m not perfect but I
feel fit I feel strong I feel energetic
and that’s really I don’t know it just
feels good to me now I say everybody I’m
not gonna
with the formula frappe inna says it’s
real simple I want to reveal it to you
so you don’t ever forget it whenever
you’re happy when the air of your life
it’s because right now your current life
experience I call it your LC your life
conditions the conditions of your life
your life conditions in that area match
or equal to your blueprint your story
your belief about how life should be in
that area so this woman says to me I’m
really happy in my body because it’s not
perfect her blueprint is I don’t need to
be perfect but it’s so much better than
it was unfit and I’m strong and I have
this energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way
well in my life my body matches how I
think it should be I feel good about my
life well that’s somebody else I’ll say
you know tell me they’re you’re happy
with someone else to say well I’m really
happy with my career and why well I’m
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m
working at this level in this company
and I have these skills and this ability
and it’s even better than I thought well
once again listen this person is happy
with this area of their life because
their current life conditions in the
area called their career are even better
than they expect that they would be
better than their blueprint better than
their belief about how it should be if
it’s really better you tend to be over
the moon but one moment would say you
know I can’t tell you I said I’m happy
he’s ever been in my whole life how come
she goes because I have this man in my
life and I’m in love with him and he
loves me and I can be myself with him
and he we have this incredible intimacy
and this passion and we want to be with
each other all the time and I never get
bored with him well what’s her blueprint
do you want to be with somebody that you
could have total intimacy with somebody
you love and loves you those are part of
her rules her beliefs um how it should
be she said you know it’s needs to be I
never want to be with anybody else I
want to be with him every moment her
blueprint about how life should be and
the way she lives her relationships even
better than she hoped when it’s better
than you hope you’re gonna be totally
excited so think about this then what’s
an area you’re not happy with let’s see
we can find the formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them that we really make sure excited
but to be happy at least Mita does not
to be perfect
but if you general your meaning what you
expect you want from your life in that
area feel good life conditions match
blueprint feel good so what makes you
feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question what’s an area
of life you’re not happy with let me be
honest with yourself and even if your
life is great all kinds of ways I’m sure
there’s an area you’d like to improve
anybody is honest if they’re doing great
in their career very often and don’t
take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong and they go I don’t have time
for it
but you really say guys I don’t feel
very competent that area so what’s an
area of your life that you are not as
happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
what I want to be that’s what we’re here
to do is like here’s what I want to be
here’s where I am it’s healthy to see
there’s a gap that makes me have this
hunger to strive to grow to feel alive
to expand as a human being so what’s an
area you’re not pleased with is it your
body is it your finances is it your
career is it your spiritual life or lack
thereof in terms of feeling connected in
that area is it your kids like what’s
the area what’s the area that’s not
where you want it to be
and then answer for a moment why aren’t
you happy with that area of your life
right now
why specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life
again you can stop this and write it
down might be useful for you or if
you’re gonna keep it running can you
stop it and you’ll turn it right back on
I’ll kick into it do that now or if you
kept it running then just I’ll give you
what happens I have people write this
down and they don’t like this exercise
so much oh I don’t like my body or I
don’t like my finances I don’t like my
career I don’t like the person I’m in a
relationship with I don’t like myself
the way I’m in relationships why they
write it all down how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people in
advance here’s the formula for
unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and I said
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy with the person says well you know
I’m really not happy with my finances
and I go why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago
I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy
and why are they crazy you say well
because they don’t have their economic
needs met no you can now have your
economic needs met and you can still be
okay but when you have an idea this is
what my need is and I did the wrong
thing my life doesn’t match how I’m
supposed to be that’s when people get a
little crazy so you think about it if
you grew up taking care of folding your
own clothes making your own meals going
to the store doing the grocery shopping
cleaning the bedroom cleaning the house
vacuuming taking out the trash and you
did that your whole life then if you
have to do that later on you don’t feel
like you have economic pain because you
don’t have a maid but if you grew up an
environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and house is dirty and your
clothes aren’t folded and nothing
matches you might find yourself really
angry and frustrated because you have a
different story about how life’s
supposed to be than how it is someone
else will say well I’ll tell you why
because I’m in a situation now where you
know I’m 30 pounds everything I should
be should be the key word there are
people there are people in all cultures
who love being big there are people
that’ll walk around and someone else
might think they’re massively overweight
but they’re gone I own this honey and
they really truly they match their
blueprint big is beautiful cuz their
ideas big is beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I’ll people write down those
experiences like Joaquin
so you’ll begin to understand what the
issue is I’m talking about here while
keen if you recall was in a situation
where this man felt like there was no
reason to live he couldn’t work he
couldn’t do anything his life was
worthless why did he think that because
he had a blueprint and his blueprint
said I need be an NBA basketball player
at least a professional basketball
player I need to be able to make money
and have this great lifestyle because
that’s what makes me worthwhile as a
human being that’s what makes my family
respect me my mother my uncle’s my aunts
I am the successful one in the family
and I make the money I support everybody
he’s a good man he didn’t come just to
be successful he took care of his mother
his families he tried to be an
inspiration for people
Joaquin Hawkins is a man I was always
going out on his free time and training
kids and showing them the pathway to
freedom how they could play basketball
and get free like he did and get out of
the inner city so this man is not a
selfish man but he knew this is the way
to be worthwhile this is the way to be
able to give to people this is the way
to take care of your family and all of a
sudden one night what happened that way
was taken from him he has a stroke in
another night his life conditions make
it impossible to be who he has to be or
he feels like he’s worthless to get it
we have an identity we have a story of
how we’re supposed to be and if life
somehow gets in the way of that story we
feel pain but if we feel we have no
control that’s when we go into suffering
see it’s one thing to say my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I got to lose
weight that might stress you out or my
wife doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not
in a relationship
I gotta get in one that might motivate
you even you might not like it but
you’re gonna find a way to get on with
or my career doesn’t matter I should be
you could change it but when you start
believing that your life doesn’t match
your blueprint
and you have no control to change it
you’re helpless that’s when people
suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it’s a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you’re really having pain Hey
look if you’re doing great in some area
of your life celebrate of course and I’m
sure there are many areas you are but
life is really a series of growth spurts
I mean two things in life make you feel
alive growing and giving and what’s
really wonderful about this man Joaquin
is he was constantly growing trying to
get better trying to be a better team
made a better basketball player think
about it when he didn’t make the teams
and didn’t make the NBA he didn’t give
up he worked even harder the guy was
always striving striving to become
something and he became it and he
achieved it and then life took it from
him isn’t that the common denominator
was so many of the people and the
stories of this six-part series that you
saw these six specials I mean Frank and
Kristen had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married to have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and then ask for this
chair does not define me I can become
more than I was before I can have the
impact on my wife I can have children we
had to change his blueprint because we
couldn’t change all the conditions of
his life does that make sense I couldn’t
get him to physically walk again maybe
someday he will but we can’t count on
that well we gotta count on is that he
can be fulfilled by seeing he isn’t
helpless that I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
our Keane said well I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball
player and he was locked into that
mindset and all of us get locked at
times but to his credit to his system of
steps we were able to break him out of
that we would get him to see that he
isn’t helpless cuz here’s your choice
watch this now if you’re suffering if
you’re in pain your life doesn’t match
how you think it should date and you
think you’re helpless to change it now
you have only three choices choice one
blame something and that’s what fucking
did if you recall he blamed his coach he
blamed what happened to him and of
course these things were outside his
control but he blamed his coach and a
big part of the healing if you watch
this session was bringing his coach in
and getting him to see he you know when
all that anger all that resentment
inside of you Joaquin a it’s not based
on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela
said you know having resentment in your
soul is like drinking poison and hoping
that your enemy will die it doesn’t work
that way
and when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn’t
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don’t know how to
change it so I’m looking for something
to be mad about someone to blame so so I
don’t have to blame myself or I don’t
have to feel so helpless
cuz when you’re angry you don’t feel so
helpless you feel strong for the moment
even though it’s a fake strength when he
was able to make that breakthrough he
could stop blaming cuz these are three
choices when life doesn’t match how you
think it should be blame something an
event someone else or yourself as we
talked about earlier in the series blame
games just destroy you there’s no
progress when you play for the moment
you feel okay but nothing changes what
are your real choices you only have two
choices in life if life doesn’t match
your blueprint you either have to change
your life that is you gotta say you know
what my body isn’t there I’m gonna go
work out my relationship is in there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
what I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can’t
change your life you’re gonna have to
change your blueprint
usually in life it requires a little bit
of each does that make sense and if
you’ve changed your take change your
life and change your blueprint you can
have an extraordinary life and what you
witness this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
he’d love to play basketball but
professional basketball is no longer a
part of it and we had to get Joaquin to
shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor for
all of us because all of us are gonna
have times in our life when what we want
or think life should be like isn’t gonna
match how life really is those moments
if we blame our life goes into pain if
we change we can change our life and
match our blueprint but we have to also
know when it’s not within our control
and that’s how we’re able to make a
shift to change what our story is for
our life what our expectations are not
by lowering them but by changing what
that model really is helping this make
sense to you I’ll give you a great
example
years ago I I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds of walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details we can’t
figure out exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people’s idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on them through
counselling she’s got all these
different drugs nothing’s working
she’s taking antidepressants and she’s
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is I know if someone’s depressed
it’s because they feel helpless because
their life doesn’t matter they think it
should be I just didn’t know what her
blueprint is but we’ll find out what it
is and we’ll either help her change your
life or Whopper change your blueprint or
both
long story short very quickly I’ll tell
you the core of it which came to me and
she spent maybe the first half an hour
telling me apologizing saying I know I
should be happier I know it’s silly for
me to be depressed I don’t know why I’m
so depressed III know I should be
grateful for what I have and I am
grateful and it was all these reasons
why she knows she should feel good but
still didn’t I try to finally explain to
her listen I don’t care about that I
care about you the fact that you’re not
happy has nothing to do with what you
have or don’t have the fact that you’re
not happy is that your life doesn’t
match the way you think it should be and
you have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this
depressed after all this time you feel
like you can’t do anything you have no
power to change it you feel helpless and
she looked at me in a certain way and I
said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well it
sounds stupid
I said like it sounds stupid to me she
said well I don’t know I just always
since I was a little girl dreamed that I
would be married and I’ll have three
basically perfect children and they
would love me totally and my above my
husband he loved me and I said okay so
how’s that working for you so far and
she said well I think you know cuz
pretty famous person she said I’m
divorced twice I have no children and
now X age and to give you a clue that
age would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don’t you just
adopt says no no no no no that’s not it
and so what I had to dig under is
remember we talked and one of the
earlier sessions about there’s the
surface problem and then there’s the
deeper desire or need so I said to her I
said well what if you couldn’t have the
husband but you could have the kids and
she smiled she said I’d take that I said
well why not adopted kid she goes now it
has to be my own blood children so I
kept digging to find out what was behind
her blueprint because your blueprint is
just a projection of what you think you
need to be happy but as human beings
were notoriously ineffective at knowing
that’s gonna make us happy so much of we
think we’re gonna make us happy we get
there and we go is this all there is so
many things that we think are gonna make
us miserable and we can never deal with
we go through it we can handle it we’re
not good at projecting these things and
all kinds of studies will show this so I
said to her well what what are you
hoping to get from these three children
why do they have to be your blood
children and she finally said well if
they’re my blood children I know they’ll
always love me they’ll never leave me
what was she looking for unconditional
love she had this big blueprint that
said white house picket fence three
children perfect husband you know all
these different things but what was
behind that was a need a need to feel
like she could have love that would be
certain and wouldn’t go away so I can
help her meet that need so I said to her
I said well maybe one reason you don’t
have a husband is because every time you
look at one you’re trying to figure out
if he’s gonna get you those three kids
in time and how that’s gonna happen and
maybe he feels a little stressed when
you slow you’re looking at in this way
because he can feel what’s going on
behind your bed even if he doesn’t know
what the words are and she started to
laugh because I guess I’ve probably been
there a good portion of my life
and she goes people wonder you know why
I’m so uptight
I said you’re uptight because you were
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love
I said don’t Chapel I love a new life
tell me about your friends and gradually
I got her to start seeing this love that
she was trying to get was already here
it didn’t match the picture maybe maybe
we could paint a new picture of what
life could really be like and make sure
that picture met her deepest needs
that’s basically we did Joaquin Joaquin
wanted to be professional basketball
player cuz he loved basketball yes but
also because he wanted to be that man
who was a leader he wanted to be a man
who was the good man he wanted to be the
one who brought energy to people he want
to be the man people would look up to
you want to be the man who could take
care of his family and style all of his
family not just his daughters and his
wife but other people as well underneath
it all he wanted to know that he
mattered and through the process that
you saw in the show he began to find out
that he didn’t need to be angry at the
world that yes his blueprint was taken
from him but his soul and his ability to
be a special human being and I could
touch other people was not taken from
him that may be his real gift was his
ability to inspire young kids his
ability to get himself to do whatever it
took how do you become a professional
basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
Drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started
change it’s turned out by Mary could
come home and take care of his kids and
pay his bills that doesn’t solve
everything but it gives him a way to
suddenly regain himself when he sat
around with all of his family you saw
part of those scenes and if you watch
little areas of browsing this week
you’ll see some more scenes from his
family where you see him begin you
realize they love me whether I’m rich or
poor they love me
I’m a professional basketball player not
they love me that’s what he was really
after when he got that it allowed him to
let go and say I can do other things
that doesn’t mean he won’t have
challenges we’re all gonna have
challenges in our life he admit it
doesn’t mean that at times he won’t wish
he’s doing more but he’s no longer stuck
he’s broken through because he now knows
I have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and what I do I
can fulfill it I can start to fail that
aliveness now here’s the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you’re living that way live in that
way living that way everyday well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored
with that and you’ll come up with a new
blueprint that’s part of the part of
life that’s exciting see if you and I
are from this day forward are gonna be
happy just remember we’ve said it takes
two things grow and give a meaningful
life comes from growing that sense of
progress and it comes from having life
not just be about me but about we doing
something that makes me feel connected
to other people besides myself that
growth that sense of contribution fills
a deep spiritual need that we all have
if you are unhappy in your life you got
three choices really to blame that’s not
a choice it’s not gonna work don’t blame
someone else don’t blame you that don’t
blame yourself just figure out what
you’re gonna do to change your life
that’s my specialty if you like my
coaching or my team’s coaching come
visit with us come doing event come get
a coach come to a program but we’ll
guide you through it more than just a
few minutes like this and we’ll do it
directly an environment that will shift
you or change your blueprint you’re
gonna have to rewire what’s going on
inside and that’s what we focus on as
well so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope it’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else and
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again if we’d love to coach
you and show you how to change those in
a permanent way where it happens
automatically just like lifting weights
so often till the muscle is always there
and you find yourself able to follow
through it takes for you to be able to
figure out how to deal with crisis you
have to turn
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you
it takes putting yourself in a position
where you connect to what’s more
important than just yourself what you
value than just yourself and it takes I
think in this case also the ability to
realize that no matter what happens to
you you’re more than that moment you’re
more than the story you think you’re
supposed to be and that even when you’re
not matching what you think you need to
be maybe there’s a reason for that maybe
you’re having to find a different part
of yourself that’s gonna fulfill you at
a much deeper level sometimes failing to
get your goal gives you your destiny I
can’t tell you how many people I’ve
known over the years who have an idea if
what they thought their life was
supposed to be like and they didn’t
achieve it they felt miserable and upset
and frustrated and one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god thank
God that didn’t happen
I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great
song and it’s a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her and she
didn’t even know that he existed and he
prayed to God every day that she would
notice him that she would fall in love
with him and then sure enough if she
never did he was so disappointed his
blueprint didn’t match his life didn’t
match it because she didn’t even know he
existed and he felt this suffering he
could do nothing to turn it around well
15 years later he became a guy named
Garth Brooks somebody everybody knew and
he could rock you know stadiums with his
energy in a song at his music and he
goes back to being this high school
reunion it was his 15 year even if I
remember correctly I remember the exact
year but all I remember is he said he
saw that woman that he was so obsessed
by I was looking forward to seeing her
and now I’m just Garth Brooks and he met
her and after he met her and spent some
time with her he wrote a song called
thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happen because
the disappointment drives you to find
something more important inside of you
or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect
a family aspect a physical aspect if you
can just trust that life doesn’t happen
to you it happens for you then you can
find in any situation a benefit that can
take your life to the next level I don’t
care if you’re Frank and Kristen I don’t
care if you’re you know Mandy and Scott
I don’t care if you’re Joaquin and Kim
every one of us in our life is gonna
feed faced situations where it feels
like we have total trauma something
that’s been taken from us the real
question is what are you gonna do with
it some people just live in the story of
what they don’t have and they have the
right to do that if Frank and Kristen
lived in pain and felt bad we’d all say
they have the right to do it it’s a
different thing what you have the right
to do and what you deserve to give
yourself and others we have the ability
to transcend whatever happens to us
there’s something called post-traumatic
growth very few people know about it two
people go through the same stress ones
destroyed the other grows what’s the
difference the people that grow will not
give up they don’t have any excuses they
find the way to break through whatever
it takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they’re capable of
they realize there’s so much stronger
than they thought they were and number
two they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
to who you love and who loves you go
through some tragedy go through some
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away
your real friends your real family shows
up for you and you show up for them and
it deepens your relationships and the
third thing happens if you can push
yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you is
each time you have a breakthrough you
get stronger and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you we’re
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore
cuz after you’ve been through a stroke
after you’ve been through you know
losing the use of some of your body or
senses after you lose a family member
and you break through to that you get to
the other side it’s like give me your
best shot life it’s almost like there’s
this psychological immunity that says
I’m ready for whatever life will give me
I don’t want challenges but if they’re
here I know I can
that strength of spirit is what creates
a sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly a never-ending thing you way
to improve yourself and to help others
that’s my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope you’ll
check us out there’s three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend and are
unleash the power within or our date
with destinies I think you’ll find it’s
very different than just sitting here
talking to you quietly sitting in front
of your computer screen it’s a
rock’n’roll environment it’s like going
to the ballpark and having one person
sitting there talking to you versus
being in the ball park or the rock and
roll concert you know with 50,000
there’s an energy and a power that comes
from it second is there’s immersion here
we talked for an hour there’s
distractions and emails there it’s total
focus and we go for an immersion we’re
literally what we did here over six
weeks few little conversations all that
happens over and over again multiple
times a day and you get that shift so
come to an event or call up and get a
coach we have people that you can work
with and have a free coaching session
and make sure it’s really valuable for
you but these are people that can check
in with you to help make sure you break
through you make the changes you want to
make and your career your finances your
body or your emotions or whatever area
matters to you and finally lastly and
probably most importantly every day you
got to feed your mind cuz every day most
of us are turning on you know some form
of news it shows up in our pocket and
our blackberries or I you know iPods or
iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us and it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they’re gonna change your
life and we have a way to do it called
net time no extra time a wave where you
can keep feeding your mind the stuff
that really matters with some products
or services so if you’re interested in
any of those things be sure to click on
your interest of an event or interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is with video
got to sit here potentially and watch me
but with audio you can do it while
you’re working out you can do it while
you’re cleaning the house you can do it
while you’re driving in the car
why are you getting to work we’d love to
continue serving you in any way we can I
know I’ve gone long in this session but
I really want you to think about how can
I get my life the way I want it to be
the way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a life thank you for the
time that we spent together here I’ve
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this breakthrough series remind you to
never settle for less than you can be
never settle for less than you can give
or you can share LIVESTRONG loop of
passion and god bless
welcome back to your breakthrough we’re
gonna talk in the session about the
exact formula for what creates long-term
happiness what creates unhappiness what
creates suffering and what the antidotes
are which there’s only three how do I
know this I’ve had the privilege of
being with four million people now from
a hundred countries around the world
live seminars and I’ve seen everything
you can imagine I mean from the most
successful people in the world to these
single the most challenged people you
could possibly imagine I’ve dealt with
people with multiple personality
disorders 52 different personalities and
how to put them back together and I
dealt with people with no personality of
a much bigger problem no matter what the
diversity of people I dealt with and the
diversity you’ve seen in this show the
ultimate question I’m always asking is
how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we’re growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy I always
tell them one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you’re not
where you want to be yet if you’re on
the road if you’re improving if you’re
making progress you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session on breakthrough
all I’ll say it’s really simple if you
and I want to know what it takes to be
happy we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be then what are we mean by
a blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is
you work hard in school you become
really great you’re a nice person you’re
a good person and then you grow up and
you take care of yourself and you find
the ideal man and you fall in love you
have a white picket fence and you have
three perfect children and you live
happily ever after somebody else’s story
the old story was you work really hard
in school you excel in college you’re
going to work for a big corporation and
you move up through the ranks until
you’re the President or chairman of the
company and you become successful
respected throughout life these are some
old stories obviously the stories that
we hear today of what people’s lives are
supposed to be like are completely
diverse we no longer have these little
Ark types but when our type still seems
to remain that archetype is in order for
you to really feel like you’re enough
many people believe they have to achieve
an enormous amount they may do it in
different ways they may do it by
building a company and taking a public
when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you
know they find and create a new
technology or they become a very special
doctor but we live in a culture in the
West that teaches people that you’re not
enough unless you do something really
special and unique and we define special
and unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children day and night
sculpting their minds their bodies their
souls and their future is not special we
live in a world today where we treat
teachers like they’re nobody and pay
them accordingly and we wonder why our
children seem to have challenges of
learning and growing or being engaged in
school we spend thousands of dollars on
some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you’re just
a housewife you’re just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there’s one right or one
wrong approach but because we try to
make everybody fit into some particular
approach to life here’s what’s gonna
make you happy or make
you unhappy in life it’s real simple
let’s do a quick test if you’re in a
situation right now where you look at
your life I know there’s an area of your
life that you probably feel pretty darn
good about even if you’re not happy with
your finances I bet you feel damn good
close to your kids or if you’re not
close to your kids maybe you don’t have
any kids maybe you feel really good
about your career if you’re doing not so
good in your career maybe you got a
really great body that you’ve trimmed
down or strengthened up or you know you
really shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or the way you look or if
that’s not happening made me feel really
special connection with God or really
close to your mother or father your
family whatever almost everybody has an
area of their life they feel really good
about if they’re honest and if they’re
fair to themselves what’s in your life
you really feel happy about how much you
think about it for a moment truthfully
what’s an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so no you’re doing darn
well in and if you’re really hard on
yourself there’s still an area what’s an
area I want to think of it right now and
once you think of that area whether it’s
your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today
really think about
if you were in a seminar with me I’d
have you write this down if you can’t
you can put me on hold here for a second
because I’d like to reveal to you what
the formula is for happiness and if I
say there’s a formula for happiness and
here’s what it is you’re gonna go yeah
yeah sure that’s what he says but if you
put down the answer and we can see the
formulas real without me telling you
what it is you get to look at your own
life and say it matches you’re gonna
know this is right so you could stop
this right now if you want put me on
hold and just write down what’s an area
of your life you’re really really happy
about
you’re really pleased with or you could
be if you wanted to focus on it and why
are you happy with that part of your
life right now we’re gonna happy with
everything what’s your you’re happy with
and why put me on hold right now or
you’re not gonna do that just think for
a moment why specifically be real why
now when they ask this if you’ve turned
me back on now if I ask this of an
audience I’ll have people write this
down for a few minutes and I’ll call in
people I’ll say share with the person
next to you first
what do you happy about and why are you
happy in that area and be specific and
after they share I’ll have people stand
up I’ll call in a variety people and I
say ma’am tell me what are you happy
about she’ll say well honestly I’m
really happy with my body she does I
never thought I’d say that but I used to
be so unhappy with it and you know I
finally I did some things I push myself
through and now I exercise regularly and
eat I’m not perfect but I feel fit I
feel strong I feel energetic and that’s
really I don’t know it just feels good
to me now I say everybody I’m now gonna
show you what the formula for happiness
is and it’s real simple I want to reveal
it to you so you don’t ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the air of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC or life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area
match or equal to your blueprint your
story your belief about how life should
be in that area so this woman says to me
I’m really happily my body because it’s
not perfect her blueprint is I don’t
need to be perfect but it’s so much
better than it was
I’m fit and I’m strong and I have this
energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way or my life my body matches how
I think it should be
I feel good about my life I’ll ask
somebody else I’ll say you know tell me
there you’re happy with someone else to
say well I’m really happy with my career
and why well I’m doing better than I
even thought I would be I mean I I’m
ahead of the schedule of where I hoped
I’d be at this stage I’m working at this
level in this company and I have these
skills and this ability and it’s even
better than I thought well once again
listen this person is happy with this
area of their life because their current
life conditions in the area called their
career are even better than they expect
that they would be better than their
blueprint better than their belief about
how it should be it’s really better you
tend to be over the moon but one would
say you know I I kind of tell you I said
I’m happy he’s ever been in my whole
life how come she goes because I have
this man in my life and I’m in love with
him and he loves me and I can be myself
with him and he we have this incredible
intimacy and this passion and we want to
be with each other all the time and I
never get bored with him
what’s her blueprint do you want to be
with somebody that you can have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs um how it should be she said
it you know it’s needs to be I never
want to be with anybody else I want to
be with him every moment her blueprint
about how life should be and the way she
lives her relationships even better than
she hoped when it’s better than you hope
you’re gonna be totally excited so think
about this then what’s an area you’re
not happy with let’s see we can find the
formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them how can we really make sure excited
but to be happy at least Mita
doesn’t have to be perfect but if you
generally are meaning what you expect
you want from your life in that area
feel good right conditions match
blueprint feel good so what makes you
feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration feel easy way to figure it
out answer this question
what’s an area your life you’re not
happy with let me be honest with
yourself and even if your life is great
all kinds of ways I’m sure there’s an
area you’d like to improve anybody is
honest if they’re doing great in their
career very often don’t take care of
their body so much if they’re really
focused on their body you know very
often they find themselves in a position
where they’re not spending enough time
with their kids or if they’re spending
time with their kids their intimate
relationships not doing so well because
it’s the nature of human beings to focus
on areas they feel comfortable with and
strong in and give those time and the
areas they don’t feel so strong there
they go I don’t have time for it what
you’re really saying is I don’t feel
very competent that area so what’s an
area of your life that you are not as
happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
wetherbee that’s what we’re here to do
is like here’s what I want to be here’s
where I am it’s healthy to see there’s a
gap that makes me have this hunger this
drive to grow to feel alive to expand as
human being so what’s an area you’re not
pleased with is it your body is it your
finances is it your career is it your
spiritual life or lack thereof in terms
of feeling connected in that area is it
your kids like what’s the area what’s
the area that’s not where you want it to
be and then answer for a moment why
aren’t you happy with that area of your
life right now why specifically today
are you not happy with that area of your
life at this stage of your time of your
life again you can stop this and write
it down might be useful for you or
they’re gonna keep it running you can
stop it and you’ll turn it right back on
it I’ll kick into it do that now or if
you kept it running then just I’ll give
you what happens I have people write
this down and they don’t like this
exercise so much
I don’t like my body or I don’t like my
finances I don’t like my career I don’t
like the person I’m in a relationship
with I don’t like myself the way I’m in
relationships why they write it all down
how people share back and forth I call
on people and the lessons pretty clear I
tell people in advance here’s the
formula for unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living a
life today does not match it doesn’t
equal your blueprint your story of how
it’s supposed to be then you’re gonna
have disappointment frustration or pain
if your life is way different than the
way you think it’s supposed to be you
can have enormous pain if it’s a little
different you might feel stressed make
sense so people stand up and I said tell
me you know what see oh you’re not happy
when the person says well you know I’m
really not happy with my finances and I
go why and they say because I’m doing
worse now than I was five years ago I
made mistakes in the market and at this
stage of my life I should have this much
money and I don’t have it and I don’t
know how to change it and it’s making me
crazy and why are they crazy you say
well because they don’t have their
economic needs met no you cannot have
your economic needs met and you could
still be okay but when you have an idea
this is what my need is and I did the
wrong thing my life doesn’t match how
I’m supposed to be that’s when people
get a little crazy so you think about it
if you grew up taking care of folding
your own clothes making your own meals
going to the store doing the grocery
shopping cleaning the bedroom cleaning
the house vacuuming taking out the trash
and you did that your whole life then if
you have to do that later on you don’t
feel like you have economic pain because
you don’t have a maid but if you grew up
an environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and the house is dirty and
your clothes aren’t folded and nothing
matches you might find yourself really
angry and frustrated because you have a
different story about how life’s
supposed to be than how it is
someone also say well I’ll tell you why
because I’m in a situation now where you
know I’m 30 pounds everything I should
be should be the keyword there are
people there are people in all cultures
who love being big there are people that
walk around and someone else might think
they’re massively overweight but they’re
gone I own this honey and they really
truly they match their blueprint big is
beautiful cuz they’re ideas big is
beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when I ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life your life isn’t worth living or we
feel like a pain that just will never go
away and I’ll people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while Keane if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need be an NBA
basketball player at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my
uncle’s my aunts I am the successful one
in the family and I make the money I
support everybody he’s a good man he
didn’t come just to be successful he
took care of his mother his families he
tried to be an inspiration for people
Joaquin Hawkins is a man who was always
going out on his free time and training
kids and showing them the pathway to
freedom how they could play basketball
and get free like he did and get out of
the inner city this man is not a selfish
man but he knew this is the way to be
worthwhile this is the way to be able to
give to people this is the way to take
care of your family
and all of a sudden one night what
happened that way was taken from him he
has a stroke in another night his life
conditions make it impossible to be who
he has to be or he feels like he’s
worthless to get it we have an identity
we have a story of how we’re supposed to
be and if life somehow gets in the way
of that story we feel pain but if we
feel we have no control that’s when we
go into suffering see it’s one thing to
say my life doesn’t match my blueprint I
got to lose weight that might stress you
out or my life doesn’t match my
blueprint I’m not in a relationship I
gotta get in one that might motivate you
even you might not like it but you’re
gonna find a way to get on with or my
career doesn’t matter I should be you
could change it but when you start
believing that your life doesn’t match
your blueprint and you have no control
to change it you’re helpless that’s when
people suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it’s a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you’re really having pain Hey
look if you’re doing great in some area
of your life celebrate of course and I’m
sure there are many areas you are but
life is really a series of growth spurts
I mean two things in life make you feel
alive growing and giving and what’s
really wonderful about this man Joaquin
is he was constantly growing trying to
get better trying to be a better team
made a better basketball player think
about it when he didn’t make the team’s
I didn’t make the NBA he didn’t give up
he worked even harder the guy was always
striving striving to become something
and he became it and he achieved it and
then life took it from him
isn’t that the common denominator with
so many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristen
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married and have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and didn’t ask for
this chair does not define me I can
become more than I was before I can have
the impact on my wife I can have
children we had to change his blueprint
because we couldn’t change all the
conditions of his life does that make
sense I couldn’t get him to physically
walk again maybe someday he will but we
can’t count on that well we got a count
on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing
he isn’t helpless
and I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
our Keane said while I I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and you think you’re
helpless to change it now you have only
three choices choice one blame something
and that’s what Joaquin did if you
recall he blamed his coach he blamed
what happened to him and of course these
things were outside his control but he
blamed his coach and a big part of the
healing if you watch this session was
bringing his coach in and getting him to
see Eddie you know when all that anger
all that resentment inside of you Akeem
a it’s not based on the truth and be
like Nelson Mandela said you know having
resentment in your soul is like drinking
poison and hoping that your enemy will
die it doesn’t work that way and when
what Keane was able to break out his
breakthrough was a change in perception
to realize this coach wasn’t stopping me
I just felt like I lost everything and
so I don’t know how to change it so I’m
looking for something to be mad about
someone to blame so so I don’t have to
blame myself or I don’t have to feel so
helpless because when your
you don’t feel so helpless you feel
strong for the moment even though it’s a
fake strength when he was able to make
that breakthrough he could stop blaming
because these are three choices when
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be blame something an event
someone else or yourself as we talked
about earlier in the series blame games
just destroy you there’s no progress
when you play for the moment you feel
okay but nothing changes what are your
real choices you only have two choices
in life if life doesn’t match your
blueprint you either have to change your
life that is you gotta say you know what
my body isn’t there I’m gonna go work
out my relationship is in there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
one I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can’t
change your life you’re gonna have to
change your blueprint usually in life it
requires a little bit of each does that
make sense and if you’ve changed your
take change your life and change your
blueprint you can have an extraordinary
life and what you witnessed this man do
was once he let go of his anger and his
denial once he started to look at things
he began to find by spending time with
his family that he was worthwhile being
loved while he played basketball or not
of course he’d love to play basketball
but professional basketball is no longer
a part of it and we had to get Joaquin
to shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor
for all of us because all of us are
gonna have times in our life when what
we want or think life should be like
isn’t gonna match how life really is
those moments if we blame our life goes
into pain if we change we can change our
life and match our blueprint but we have
to also know when it’s not within our
control and that’s how we’re able to
make a shift and change what our story
is for our life what our expectations
are not by lowering them but by changing
what that model really is helping us
make sense to you I’ll give you a great
example
years ago I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds of walks of life
and I was dealing with a group of people
and they knew a very very powerful
celebrity and without to give that
person privacy I won’t tell you too many
details who can’t figure out exactly who
it is but it would be a person who was
very successful as a woman who was
extremely attracted by cultural
standards a woman who’s had a lot of
dear friends a lot of deep respect so
great skill great ability extremely
talented quite attractive quite wealthy
in financial terms and lots of great
friends this would be for most people’s
idea the ultimate blueprint if your life
matches that description you must have
an incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on the through
counselling she’s got all these
different drugs nothing’s working she’s
thinking and depressants and she’s still
depressed which is not uncommon by the
way because if you change the way you
feel physically but you still see your
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is
I know if someone’s depressed it’s
because they feel helpless because their
life doesn’t match what they think it
should be
[Music]
Please follow and like us: