good morning believe nation in today’s
episode of believe life
can you get me in he said yeah so will
you lease it no so why not he said you
won’t value it he said if you struggle
to be there I was like alright so the
question was how do I suggest attracting
mentors into my life and with surfing
for instance I ended up learning how to
do a pop-up from a guy named Brad
Gerlach who was formerly number one
ranked surfer in the world uh-huh and I
did it via skype video I was actually in
an apartment in Berlin when it was
raining and he was in Los Angeles and he
did it remotely the fastest answer is
you pay them honestly it’s it for like
Brad it you could do it very very very
affordably that’s the that’s the path of
least resistance the other there’s a
question of how to find them and then
there’s a question of how to engage with
them there’s two different things in
terms of how to find them I’m gonna have
to defer just in the interest of time to
the deconstruction section in the 4-hour
chef where I talk about how to track
them down on Google and different
questions I use in terms of how to
engage you can certainly just pay them
secondly is to freelance write write a
piece and interview them as part of that
piece and then tack on an extra five or
10 minutes to ask you what you’d like to
ask them would be my recommendation but
if budget allows the most direct ways
just to pay them for 50 100 200 dollars
for a Skype session I have no idea what
finding a mentor was like 10 or 20 years
ago it’s always been the same how do you
find a boyfriend or a girlfriend as your
fish where the fish are you go where
they are the way you find a mentor is
you look around yourself and you look
around your world and you say who would
be a good person to give me advice to
help me at this stage of my career and
then you approach that person and in
approaching a mentor you ask them for 10
minutes of their time to ask them three
specific questions which are in writing
and you give them a copy of it no more
than 10 minutes most people who are
valuable as mentors are also extremely
busy
and they do not have time for open-ended
rambling conversations you know I have
people say please be more mentor and
tell me everything I need to be
successful at life and I hang up the
phone figuratively I push delete on the
email because I simply don’t have the
time if a person writes me and says
could you answer this specific question
then I will almost always answer that
specific question so look upon yourself
and say who would be a good person to be
a mentor and then remember a mentor
relationship has to have some benefit
for the other person so what are you
going to bring to the party whatever the
person offers you in terms of advice or
guidance do it and report back
but then ask how can I help you what can
I do to help you even if it’s merely
moving boxes on moving day what can you
do to help your mentor remember the rule
in life is you have to give to get and
the more you give of yourself without
expectation of return the more that will
come back to you in the most unexpected
ways before you know people ask me about
college people ask me about Mentors you
got to get in however you can at the
ground level with somebody go work for
free and then be impressive so that’s
the second part you know first part is
get your foot in the door no matter how
you can ideally in something you could
see yourself doing for 20 years you can
get the formal education leader to back
it if if need be but first make sure
it’s the right thing by getting your
foot in the door some of you might need
to get your foot in the door few places
because you’re not sure what you should
do this is how you get a mentor and how
you find your business destiny a lot of
experiments then like I said secondly
and people forget the second part so
they come and say Todd did what you said
and it didn’t work you know I read this
as this stuff’s not working well I’m
part of my hair by the way just woke up
I say did you do number two the second
component which is were you impressive
how do you become impressive no stuff
beyond time ownership I was talking
about that you got to take ownership man
the world’s so full of people that are
just so focused on themselves that they
forget you get promotions by impressing
other people so you have to be
impressive for them people say I’m not
gonna do stuff for other people why not
why not that’s how you get ahead you got
a hooker as he says hit your wagon to a
to something that’s going somewhere so
people that are impressive they only
want to be around impressive people that
old saying you know like attracts like
it’s not true as much as people think
like the secret but that is somewhat of
if you study psychology certainly
Angelina Jolie it’s no coincidence she’s
married to someone who’s kind of her
male equivalent same in business same
and mentors same in business
partnerships same in opportunities
people want to be around amazing people
why I’m big on reading knowledge is
because not only does it revolutionize
your own life but it impresses people
not that you want to do it to impress
but it’s a nice added bonus little perk
you know so get out there if you don’t
know what you’re doing and even if you
do know what you’re doing member Sam
Walton spent a lot of time with
competitors get out there don’t be
afraid to start at the ground floor
whether it’s with the mentor our new
business opportunity don’t skip ahead
and then make sure you’re very
impressive show up early take ownership
act like whatever you’re doing you own a
hundred percent of the shares in it even
if you you know are sweeping the floor
this is the part that can be tricky
connect with courage so a little bit
about my background I grew up in Fresno
and I am half Armenian however I am NOT
close personal friends with the
Kardashians nor do I have their social
or professional connections so about ten
years ago when my co-author Susan Murphy
and I had this crazy idea to write a
book and interview 50 CEOs and protegees
we had no connections and really no
business doing this at all so we set out
we said wouldn’t it be cool if we
interviewed people from media technology
and politics like the CEO of NBC and the
CEO of Universal and the u.s. treasurer
but we didn’t know how to connect with
them so we devised this process which
which 10 years later has become this
whole how to get a mentor and turned
into an assignment I give my students
every single semester and it
like this when you want to connect with
someone you make a hit list or a target
list of who you want to connect with and
then you research or cyber sleuth them
it’s so much easier these days with
LinkedIn to do that so find out
everything about them find out where
they went to school and who they know
and then try to find someone who knows
them that can provide a warm connect
that way you’re not having that
uncomfortable cold connection feeling
and if you keep going with that
sometimes it took us three or four or
five meetings to meet the person who
could who could provide the warm connect
chances are that you’ll put people in a
better position to say yes to you so
that part’s really important but the
part I left out is the courage part and
this is something that I really have not
shared before I don’t know why it’s
probably because it’s embarrassing but
I’m gonna share it with you today and
and that’s the courage part so how do
you get the courage to do that I have to
tell you when I make a connection with
someone I have a stomachache before I do
it it’s intimidating it’s scary so I had
to devise a ritual for myself of that I
would use before I would connect and so
my ritual is actually a song and the
song is by Janice Stanfield if you are
brave so I’m gonna demo some courage
today
what would I do today if I were brave so
you can see why thank God I stayed in
graduate school thank God for tenure cuz
my singing career is going nowhere you
maybe don’t want to do your courage
ritual in front of an audience when
you’re being televised maybe that wasn’t
the smartest thing ever but seriously
that’s my song and I do it every time I
have to do something difficult like
reaching out to get a mentor so you need
a song or you need dance or a poem or a
quote or a mantra or a prayer or a
ritual something that you do here’s some
tips on how to find a good mentor every
one of us need someone who’s gone down
the path before us look out there in the
world and see people that are already
doing what you want to do maybe they’re
ahead of you in life they’re
professional and they’re doing what you
want to do maybe they’re your boss maybe
it’s someone in another industry but
identify that person and once you’ve
identified them call them or write them
and say you know could I spend 10
minutes a week with you on the phone
start with a small request and what
we’ve always found is that when you
start with a small request they’ll let
it expand if they enjoy spending time
with you but if you ask for an hour
it’ll feel overwhelming to them and just
tell them you you respect them you
admire them and you’d like to learn from
them and if you do that and you’ll do
the things that they tell you to do and
report back to them you know you asked
me to do this you told me to do that and
I did it then they’re gonna feel
empowered that they’re empowering you
and they’re gonna want to keep doing
that because we love to help other
people so don’t be afraid to ask reach
out reach out to the people you want if
you get a no ask someone else never give
up on your dream to have the perfect
mentor there are a lot of people out
there that can help you it’s not just
one person so ask ask ask until you get
what you want and then also end by
always thanking them you can send them a
little present then introduce them to
other people maybe send them an article
that would be interesting to them give
value to them so that they’ll be glad to
give value back
you thank you guys so much for watching
I made this episode of believe life
because Phil Jie asked me to so there’s
a topic that you want me to cover in
next week’s episode a believe life leave
it in the comments below and I’ll see
what I can do I’d also love to know
which of the techniques we talked about
today left the biggest impact on you
leave in the comments and I’ll join the
discussion thank you so much for
watching have a great day
continue to believe and I’ll see you
soon
episode of believe life
can you get me in he said yeah so will
you lease it no so why not he said you
won’t value it he said if you struggle
to be there I was like alright so the
question was how do I suggest attracting
mentors into my life and with surfing
for instance I ended up learning how to
do a pop-up from a guy named Brad
Gerlach who was formerly number one
ranked surfer in the world uh-huh and I
did it via skype video I was actually in
an apartment in Berlin when it was
raining and he was in Los Angeles and he
did it remotely the fastest answer is
you pay them honestly it’s it for like
Brad it you could do it very very very
affordably that’s the that’s the path of
least resistance the other there’s a
question of how to find them and then
there’s a question of how to engage with
them there’s two different things in
terms of how to find them I’m gonna have
to defer just in the interest of time to
the deconstruction section in the 4-hour
chef where I talk about how to track
them down on Google and different
questions I use in terms of how to
engage you can certainly just pay them
secondly is to freelance write write a
piece and interview them as part of that
piece and then tack on an extra five or
10 minutes to ask you what you’d like to
ask them would be my recommendation but
if budget allows the most direct ways
just to pay them for 50 100 200 dollars
for a Skype session I have no idea what
finding a mentor was like 10 or 20 years
ago it’s always been the same how do you
find a boyfriend or a girlfriend as your
fish where the fish are you go where
they are the way you find a mentor is
you look around yourself and you look
around your world and you say who would
be a good person to give me advice to
help me at this stage of my career and
then you approach that person and in
approaching a mentor you ask them for 10
minutes of their time to ask them three
specific questions which are in writing
and you give them a copy of it no more
than 10 minutes most people who are
valuable as mentors are also extremely
busy
and they do not have time for open-ended
rambling conversations you know I have
people say please be more mentor and
tell me everything I need to be
successful at life and I hang up the
phone figuratively I push delete on the
email because I simply don’t have the
time if a person writes me and says
could you answer this specific question
then I will almost always answer that
specific question so look upon yourself
and say who would be a good person to be
a mentor and then remember a mentor
relationship has to have some benefit
for the other person so what are you
going to bring to the party whatever the
person offers you in terms of advice or
guidance do it and report back
but then ask how can I help you what can
I do to help you even if it’s merely
moving boxes on moving day what can you
do to help your mentor remember the rule
in life is you have to give to get and
the more you give of yourself without
expectation of return the more that will
come back to you in the most unexpected
ways before you know people ask me about
college people ask me about Mentors you
got to get in however you can at the
ground level with somebody go work for
free and then be impressive so that’s
the second part you know first part is
get your foot in the door no matter how
you can ideally in something you could
see yourself doing for 20 years you can
get the formal education leader to back
it if if need be but first make sure
it’s the right thing by getting your
foot in the door some of you might need
to get your foot in the door few places
because you’re not sure what you should
do this is how you get a mentor and how
you find your business destiny a lot of
experiments then like I said secondly
and people forget the second part so
they come and say Todd did what you said
and it didn’t work you know I read this
as this stuff’s not working well I’m
part of my hair by the way just woke up
I say did you do number two the second
component which is were you impressive
how do you become impressive no stuff
beyond time ownership I was talking
about that you got to take ownership man
the world’s so full of people that are
just so focused on themselves that they
forget you get promotions by impressing
other people so you have to be
impressive for them people say I’m not
gonna do stuff for other people why not
why not that’s how you get ahead you got
a hooker as he says hit your wagon to a
to something that’s going somewhere so
people that are impressive they only
want to be around impressive people that
old saying you know like attracts like
it’s not true as much as people think
like the secret but that is somewhat of
if you study psychology certainly
Angelina Jolie it’s no coincidence she’s
married to someone who’s kind of her
male equivalent same in business same
and mentors same in business
partnerships same in opportunities
people want to be around amazing people
why I’m big on reading knowledge is
because not only does it revolutionize
your own life but it impresses people
not that you want to do it to impress
but it’s a nice added bonus little perk
you know so get out there if you don’t
know what you’re doing and even if you
do know what you’re doing member Sam
Walton spent a lot of time with
competitors get out there don’t be
afraid to start at the ground floor
whether it’s with the mentor our new
business opportunity don’t skip ahead
and then make sure you’re very
impressive show up early take ownership
act like whatever you’re doing you own a
hundred percent of the shares in it even
if you you know are sweeping the floor
this is the part that can be tricky
connect with courage so a little bit
about my background I grew up in Fresno
and I am half Armenian however I am NOT
close personal friends with the
Kardashians nor do I have their social
or professional connections so about ten
years ago when my co-author Susan Murphy
and I had this crazy idea to write a
book and interview 50 CEOs and protegees
we had no connections and really no
business doing this at all so we set out
we said wouldn’t it be cool if we
interviewed people from media technology
and politics like the CEO of NBC and the
CEO of Universal and the u.s. treasurer
but we didn’t know how to connect with
them so we devised this process which
which 10 years later has become this
whole how to get a mentor and turned
into an assignment I give my students
every single semester and it
like this when you want to connect with
someone you make a hit list or a target
list of who you want to connect with and
then you research or cyber sleuth them
it’s so much easier these days with
LinkedIn to do that so find out
everything about them find out where
they went to school and who they know
and then try to find someone who knows
them that can provide a warm connect
that way you’re not having that
uncomfortable cold connection feeling
and if you keep going with that
sometimes it took us three or four or
five meetings to meet the person who
could who could provide the warm connect
chances are that you’ll put people in a
better position to say yes to you so
that part’s really important but the
part I left out is the courage part and
this is something that I really have not
shared before I don’t know why it’s
probably because it’s embarrassing but
I’m gonna share it with you today and
and that’s the courage part so how do
you get the courage to do that I have to
tell you when I make a connection with
someone I have a stomachache before I do
it it’s intimidating it’s scary so I had
to devise a ritual for myself of that I
would use before I would connect and so
my ritual is actually a song and the
song is by Janice Stanfield if you are
brave so I’m gonna demo some courage
today
what would I do today if I were brave so
you can see why thank God I stayed in
graduate school thank God for tenure cuz
my singing career is going nowhere you
maybe don’t want to do your courage
ritual in front of an audience when
you’re being televised maybe that wasn’t
the smartest thing ever but seriously
that’s my song and I do it every time I
have to do something difficult like
reaching out to get a mentor so you need
a song or you need dance or a poem or a
quote or a mantra or a prayer or a
ritual something that you do here’s some
tips on how to find a good mentor every
one of us need someone who’s gone down
the path before us look out there in the
world and see people that are already
doing what you want to do maybe they’re
ahead of you in life they’re
professional and they’re doing what you
want to do maybe they’re your boss maybe
it’s someone in another industry but
identify that person and once you’ve
identified them call them or write them
and say you know could I spend 10
minutes a week with you on the phone
start with a small request and what
we’ve always found is that when you
start with a small request they’ll let
it expand if they enjoy spending time
with you but if you ask for an hour
it’ll feel overwhelming to them and just
tell them you you respect them you
admire them and you’d like to learn from
them and if you do that and you’ll do
the things that they tell you to do and
report back to them you know you asked
me to do this you told me to do that and
I did it then they’re gonna feel
empowered that they’re empowering you
and they’re gonna want to keep doing
that because we love to help other
people so don’t be afraid to ask reach
out reach out to the people you want if
you get a no ask someone else never give
up on your dream to have the perfect
mentor there are a lot of people out
there that can help you it’s not just
one person so ask ask ask until you get
what you want and then also end by
always thanking them you can send them a
little present then introduce them to
other people maybe send them an article
that would be interesting to them give
value to them so that they’ll be glad to
give value back
you thank you guys so much for watching
I made this episode of believe life
because Phil Jie asked me to so there’s
a topic that you want me to cover in
next week’s episode a believe life leave
it in the comments below and I’ll see
what I can do I’d also love to know
which of the techniques we talked about
today left the biggest impact on you
leave in the comments and I’ll join the
discussion thank you so much for
watching have a great day
continue to believe and I’ll see you
soon
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