life is too important to waste your life
you know why I fight I fight to win to
get past it you got to go through it
that’s true in so many areas but it’s
particularly true with failure the way
you think affects the way you feel and
the way you feel affects the way you
behave if you want to change the way you
act you start back here with your
thoughts no matter what you do
somebody’s not going to like you no
matter you cannot please everybody he’s
an American evangelical Christian pastor
and author he’s a founder and senior
pastor of the Saddleback Church the
eighth largest Church in America his
book The Purpose Driven Life has had
sales of over 30 million copies making
him a New York Times best selling author
he’s Rick Warren and here’s my take on
his top ten rules of success and as
always guys as you’re watching the
videos if you hear something that really
resonates with you please leave it down
the comments below and put quotes around
it so other people can be inspired as
well also as you are writing something
down it’s much more likely to stick in
your head to enjoy
I’m not just playing around I’m not just
beating the air I’m not shadow boxing
I’m not just goofing off
life is too important to waste your life
you know why I fight I fight to win I
want to win in my marriage I want to win
in my finances I want to win in my
career I want to win in my spiritual
growth I want to win in my character I
don’t fight the place I fight to win I
see every time you make a decision what
we’re talking about here is clarifying
your values every single time you make a
decision you are basing it on unspoken
values you have a grid in your mind
you’ve never even thought about this and
most likely but you have a set of values
in your mind and every time you make a
decision I’m going to do this and not do
that I’m going to spy this and not buy
that I’m going to spend my time and
effort and energy on this and not only
you are showing your hidden values the
problem is most people never figured out
what they are where they came from and
whether they’re valid or not
so really the secret of success is
clarifying your values this is a skill
you need to learn what is valuable to me
and what is not valuable every time you
make a decision you reveal your values
my question is do you know where your
values came from are they how they
working out is your life working out
with those values do you know where you
pick them up are they working for you
your values in life determine your
stress determine your success and
determine your salvation now you may not
realize this but your values could be
causing stress in your life unclear
values cause confusion they cause
confusion in your life conflict in
values in your life cause tension
unclear cost confusion conflict in
values cause tension false values create
deception and the wrong values create
dysfunction there’s not a single guy
who’s ever learned how to play a foot
play football by reading the
manual on it not one it’s no let’s just
go out and start throwing me some passes
let’s go out and shoot some hoops let’s
go out and play catch you know let’s go
out and drive some golf balls you learn
by doing and when there’s a problem in
your car so let me get under the video
I’ll figure it out enough do you know
there’s a carburetor and all other no no
no I don’t need a manual waiting thing
I’m a man I’m not just let me play
around here okay or you say you know
I’ve got 50 wires coming into this audio
system and I need to figure out it I
don’t need a manual I just play around
with it I’ll figure out how to install
this app I’ll figure out of how to add a
boot up this computer and you just do it
by doing it you learn by doing
you don’t make excuses for the failure
you grieve it you feel the pain you
don’t brush it off you don’t downplay it
you feel the pain and you don’t rush to
feel better now listen this is the
principle of life I’m about to tell you
to get past it you got to go through it
that’s true in so many areas but it’s
particularly true with failure to get
past your failure that failure in your
you got to go through it you can’t go
around your failure you can’t go over
your failure you can’t go under your
failure
you can’t ignore your failure you need
to grieve the failure you need to feel
the pain now we don’t like feeling bad
but grief is a good thing
grief is the way we get through the
failure and grief is the way we learn
the lessons so often we want to just
when we fail we want to just forget it
push it aside stuff our emotions and
then immediately go to the next thing
when you stuff your emotions when you
swallow your emotions your stomach keeps
score it’s kind of like what if you took
a can of coke and you shook it up for a
long time and then you put it in the
freezer what’s going to happen to it
it’s going to explode eventually it’s
going to come out sideways and this
happens in your life when you don’t deal
with your emotions properly this is why
sometimes six months after failure a
merry
falls apart our six months after
somebody gets laid off work there’s
another problem there’s a physical
health problem things like that because
you’ve shaken up the can and you got all
these emotions feeling inside of shame
and regret and fear and and and
insecurity and all the things that come
with failure and you’re not dealing with
them and so you shake it up and so we’re
just going to put this refrigerator try
to forget about and we’re going to
freeze it and it’s going to explode and
it’s going to come out sideways in an
affair or in wrong behavior or an
impulsivity or an addiction or all kinds
of other things I’ve seen this thousands
of times in people’s lives
you don’t minimize it you don’t rush the
feel better to get past your failure
you’ve got to go through the failure
examine your own conduct
what you do is you look and you say what
was I good at at each stage in my life
and what did I enjoy doing at each stage
in my life here are the two things I’m
good at it and I enjoy doing it now
there’s some things that you’re good at
and you don’t enjoy don’t worry about
that okay and there’s some things by the
way that you enjoy and you’re not good
at I mean many of you don’t know that
before I was a pastor I was a worship
leader I played guitar and drums all my
life had garage bands all the time
growing up junior high high school in
college and I actually started off
leading worship because I have a passion
and I love to sing the only problem was
nobody liked to listen to it so I loved
to do it but I wasn’t good at it and and
I didn’t have the skills for that so the
key thing is to say what am I good at
what do I love to do and I want you to
look for patterns in your life because
if you were good at it at an early age
you’re going to be good at it later on
in life a kid who’s good as a soccer
player at 10 is going to be a good and
even better soccer player at 20 but when
you learn what it really means to be
gentle
the world’s yours I mean it’s your Apple
it’s it’s you’re in you’re in charge
it’s not driving you you’re driving it
now in our hard driving ego-driven
market driven culture you don’t hear a
whole lot about gentleness and the
reason why is we don’t understand what
it really means to be gentle we think
gentleness means weakness and God says
absolutely not the gentle are the
strongest people on the planet and the
earth will be theirs it’s the weak
people who are arrogant it’s the weak
people who are prideful it’s the weak
people who are pushy and rude and mean
and gossip those are weak people
he said that truly strong people in life
are the gentle and the world will be
theirs I take Monday off Monday is my
Sabbath I don’t like taking Monday off
because I don’t like feeling that bad on
my day off but I find that I need to to
recharge and on Mondays I am dead to the
world I do not take calls
I do not read email I do not take text
messages I sleep in I get up I play
around the house I go to lunch with my
wife we relax in the afternoon and
Monday evenings we do family night with
our families I now have grandkids that
are involved and we’ve kept that
religiously we’ve kept that faithfully
over the years and it has kept me from
burning out under enormous pressure how
would you like to pastor Church where
you move the church building 79 times in
the first 13 years I did because land
was so expensive we used 79 different
facilities of the first 13 years some
weeks I’d be in five different buildings
Laguna Hills High School for Sunday
morning
el Toro High School Sunday evening a
bank building for Wednesday another one
on Thursday and Saturday night service
that an
the school and or not we said we’re the
church if you can figure out where we
are this week you get to come
he said we only want our church for
really intelligent people so we keep
changing the location but that was a lot
of frustration and I can tell you I have
learned to handle enormous amounts of
stress an enormous amount of tension but
I could not do it if I didn’t rest my
body if I didn’t take my day off if I
didn’t and don’t call it your day off
call it your Sabbath salt your day off
you’ll fill it with your honey-do list
all stuff it couldn’t get done and try
to use it to catch up on other stuff no
it is a day of rest relaxation
relationships restoration emotionally so
you need to rest your body so forget
what can’t be changed and focus on the
future until you learn to do this you’re
going to be unhappy much of your life
because you hold on to the habits and
you hold on to the hurts and the hangups
and you hold on to the grief and the
guilt and the grudges and that causes so
much unhappiness in your life you got to
let it go are you focusing on all your
energies you have a limited amount of
energy you don’t have unlimited energy
you know that that’s why you get tired
so why you get fatigued why you get worn
out you don’t have unlimited energy
since you don’t have unlimited energy I
highly suggest you don’t waste any of it
on something that you can’t change in
the past why in the world would you give
one more second of emotional energy to
something that is never going to change
it’s done it’s over it’s finished your
past is past you got to let it go don’t
waste it your consciousness is the way
you talk to yourself through good your
consciousness is the story you tell
yourself you’re a army about
autopilot yes I can tell your autopilot
finish systems 10 times it’s just like
me to be and I’ll tell your autopilot
it’s just like me to be lazy it’s just
like me to be late it’s just like me
that is your autopilot
now the story we tell ourselves is the
fourth factor that influences us the
Bible says that the man thinks in his
heart so you know he is and and so you
have to change your autopilot now let me
tell you how to do this all of us have
things we want to change in our lives
the way you think affects the way you
feel and the way you feel affects the
way you behave if you want to change the
way you act you start back here with
your thoughts if I’m acting depressed
it’s because I feel depressed and if
it’s I feel the process because I’m
choosing to think the Prescotts
you can’t change a feeling but you can
change the thought you tell a little kid
stop be happy I’m Troy and dirty you
can’t force a feeling okay you can’t
force me but you can change the thought
that is creating the feeling now here’s
a real important thing about temptation
I’ve shared there’s a lot of people
itself a lot of people when we have a
when you have a habit or I have a habit
that I don’t like and I’m being tempted
to go to this habit over and over and
over the key to changing a habit is not
to resist it but to replace it not to
resist but refocus if a guy’s having a
problem with pornography and he’s
watching TV he doesn’t just say no I
don’t want this I don’t want this he
just flips the channel the moment you
change the channel if the temptation
loses its power on you do not listen
here’s a pastor tarnis do not resist
temptation do not resist in the 8th I
may tell you why says the pastor yeah
let me tell you why
what you resist persist but because the
whole time you’re focused on it what you
need to do is just change your focus and
this is taking your conscience and
saying I’m going to renew my mind I’m
going to think on these things
whatsoever things are pure and lovely
and a good report I’m going to think
about good thing and that’s how be
transformed by the renewing by the
renewing of your mind it’s not say when
I was little kid Oprah my mom would bake
chocolate chip cookies at night and I’d
walk and stand up at the kitchen table
and my mom would say now Ricky don’t
don’t you eat those chocolate chip
cookies because dinner is coming and
actually I’m not mom I’m just looking
whatever gets your attention gets you
yeah so if you want to break a habit you
just refocus and that’s the renewing of
your mind put your mind on the right
thing no matter what you do somebody’s
not going to like you no matter you
cannot please everybody you can’t please
everybody all the time or even part of
the time so here’s the thing I would say
to you you don’t need other people’s
approval to be happy now that’s an
important thing we think if I can just
get everybody to love me I’ll be happy
no first you’re never going to do it and
if like some of you’ve been trying to
get your parents approval and they’re
like dead or they’re elderly and you if
you haven’t got it by now you’re not
going to get it but here’s the thing you
don’t need it you don’t need any bells
as approval you happy
thank you guys so much for watching I
made this video because Eric Coleman
asked me to so if there’s a famous
entrepreneur that you want me to profile
next leave it down the comments below
and I’ll see what I can do I also love
to know what did you learn from Rick
today that has the biggest impact on you
what lesson did you really absorb that
you’re going to immediately apply to
your life or business somehow please
leave it down in the comments and I’m
going to join in the discussion finally
I want to give a quick shout out to Judy
Judy thank you so much for picking up a
copy of my book your one word I really
appreciate your support and that picture
that you posted on Instagram as well
thank you thank you thank you thank you
so much so thank you guys again for
watching I believe in you
I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon
knowing how to recognize what’s
important and what’s not important I
can’t tell you how important this skill
is and how few people have it to look at
a situation oh that’s important that’s
not that matters that doesn’t matter
that’s valuable that’s not valuable
this is crucial that’s not crucial
leaders know what’s important and they
focus on that and they forget everything
else successful people know what matters
and don’t worry about what doesn’t
matter Paul says this one thing I do not
these 40 things I dabble in he is
focuses laser focused and you have to
learn this skill in life to be
successful at work and it at home and
and in life the skill of knowing what
matters most
I’ve always been tested about my skin
tone and a brown spot for my face which
has made me very insecure as an adult I
discovered makeup I never met my family
or friends or anyone I’m dating see me
without makeup so to be here without it
right now is a huge self the fact is
everybody’s got flaws nobody’s perfect
but the definition of flaw is 100%
subjective because what we might think
is the flaw in our culture is a beauty
mark of somebody else’s right and so
really there’s an african country where
the fatter you are the more what the
more husband
[Applause]
okay you know I bought a pair of jeans
the other day and I got a homeless those
distressed jeans there’s a little tag on
it it said these jeans are intentionally
flawed to make them unique Wow you need
to write that one down we are all
intentionally flawed to make us unique
now
Porsha’s problem is actually a deeper
problem and the issue here is it is the
myth that being beautiful will make me
happy I live in Southern California a
lot of pretty people there who are
miserable so it is not an automatic
beauty equals happiness yes
happiness is a choice so you’ve got to
realize that sometimes your own self
rejection is turning people away that
everybody went yes it’s her perception
of what absolutely yeah she’s flat-out
gorgeous but the point is is that it
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
I say this to Portia though you don’t
want friends who only love you for your
looks
and and you don’t and you don’t want a
husband who only loves you for your look
[Applause]
but I’ll tell you this our looks aren’t
going to stay now mine do but I don’t
know about yours
[Music]
you know why I fight I fight to win to
get past it you got to go through it
that’s true in so many areas but it’s
particularly true with failure the way
you think affects the way you feel and
the way you feel affects the way you
behave if you want to change the way you
act you start back here with your
thoughts no matter what you do
somebody’s not going to like you no
matter you cannot please everybody he’s
an American evangelical Christian pastor
and author he’s a founder and senior
pastor of the Saddleback Church the
eighth largest Church in America his
book The Purpose Driven Life has had
sales of over 30 million copies making
him a New York Times best selling author
he’s Rick Warren and here’s my take on
his top ten rules of success and as
always guys as you’re watching the
videos if you hear something that really
resonates with you please leave it down
the comments below and put quotes around
it so other people can be inspired as
well also as you are writing something
down it’s much more likely to stick in
your head to enjoy
I’m not just playing around I’m not just
beating the air I’m not shadow boxing
I’m not just goofing off
life is too important to waste your life
you know why I fight I fight to win I
want to win in my marriage I want to win
in my finances I want to win in my
career I want to win in my spiritual
growth I want to win in my character I
don’t fight the place I fight to win I
see every time you make a decision what
we’re talking about here is clarifying
your values every single time you make a
decision you are basing it on unspoken
values you have a grid in your mind
you’ve never even thought about this and
most likely but you have a set of values
in your mind and every time you make a
decision I’m going to do this and not do
that I’m going to spy this and not buy
that I’m going to spend my time and
effort and energy on this and not only
you are showing your hidden values the
problem is most people never figured out
what they are where they came from and
whether they’re valid or not
so really the secret of success is
clarifying your values this is a skill
you need to learn what is valuable to me
and what is not valuable every time you
make a decision you reveal your values
my question is do you know where your
values came from are they how they
working out is your life working out
with those values do you know where you
pick them up are they working for you
your values in life determine your
stress determine your success and
determine your salvation now you may not
realize this but your values could be
causing stress in your life unclear
values cause confusion they cause
confusion in your life conflict in
values in your life cause tension
unclear cost confusion conflict in
values cause tension false values create
deception and the wrong values create
dysfunction there’s not a single guy
who’s ever learned how to play a foot
play football by reading the
manual on it not one it’s no let’s just
go out and start throwing me some passes
let’s go out and shoot some hoops let’s
go out and play catch you know let’s go
out and drive some golf balls you learn
by doing and when there’s a problem in
your car so let me get under the video
I’ll figure it out enough do you know
there’s a carburetor and all other no no
no I don’t need a manual waiting thing
I’m a man I’m not just let me play
around here okay or you say you know
I’ve got 50 wires coming into this audio
system and I need to figure out it I
don’t need a manual I just play around
with it I’ll figure out how to install
this app I’ll figure out of how to add a
boot up this computer and you just do it
by doing it you learn by doing
you don’t make excuses for the failure
you grieve it you feel the pain you
don’t brush it off you don’t downplay it
you feel the pain and you don’t rush to
feel better now listen this is the
principle of life I’m about to tell you
to get past it you got to go through it
that’s true in so many areas but it’s
particularly true with failure to get
past your failure that failure in your
you got to go through it you can’t go
around your failure you can’t go over
your failure you can’t go under your
failure
you can’t ignore your failure you need
to grieve the failure you need to feel
the pain now we don’t like feeling bad
but grief is a good thing
grief is the way we get through the
failure and grief is the way we learn
the lessons so often we want to just
when we fail we want to just forget it
push it aside stuff our emotions and
then immediately go to the next thing
when you stuff your emotions when you
swallow your emotions your stomach keeps
score it’s kind of like what if you took
a can of coke and you shook it up for a
long time and then you put it in the
freezer what’s going to happen to it
it’s going to explode eventually it’s
going to come out sideways and this
happens in your life when you don’t deal
with your emotions properly this is why
sometimes six months after failure a
merry
falls apart our six months after
somebody gets laid off work there’s
another problem there’s a physical
health problem things like that because
you’ve shaken up the can and you got all
these emotions feeling inside of shame
and regret and fear and and and
insecurity and all the things that come
with failure and you’re not dealing with
them and so you shake it up and so we’re
just going to put this refrigerator try
to forget about and we’re going to
freeze it and it’s going to explode and
it’s going to come out sideways in an
affair or in wrong behavior or an
impulsivity or an addiction or all kinds
of other things I’ve seen this thousands
of times in people’s lives
you don’t minimize it you don’t rush the
feel better to get past your failure
you’ve got to go through the failure
examine your own conduct
what you do is you look and you say what
was I good at at each stage in my life
and what did I enjoy doing at each stage
in my life here are the two things I’m
good at it and I enjoy doing it now
there’s some things that you’re good at
and you don’t enjoy don’t worry about
that okay and there’s some things by the
way that you enjoy and you’re not good
at I mean many of you don’t know that
before I was a pastor I was a worship
leader I played guitar and drums all my
life had garage bands all the time
growing up junior high high school in
college and I actually started off
leading worship because I have a passion
and I love to sing the only problem was
nobody liked to listen to it so I loved
to do it but I wasn’t good at it and and
I didn’t have the skills for that so the
key thing is to say what am I good at
what do I love to do and I want you to
look for patterns in your life because
if you were good at it at an early age
you’re going to be good at it later on
in life a kid who’s good as a soccer
player at 10 is going to be a good and
even better soccer player at 20 but when
you learn what it really means to be
gentle
the world’s yours I mean it’s your Apple
it’s it’s you’re in you’re in charge
it’s not driving you you’re driving it
now in our hard driving ego-driven
market driven culture you don’t hear a
whole lot about gentleness and the
reason why is we don’t understand what
it really means to be gentle we think
gentleness means weakness and God says
absolutely not the gentle are the
strongest people on the planet and the
earth will be theirs it’s the weak
people who are arrogant it’s the weak
people who are prideful it’s the weak
people who are pushy and rude and mean
and gossip those are weak people
he said that truly strong people in life
are the gentle and the world will be
theirs I take Monday off Monday is my
Sabbath I don’t like taking Monday off
because I don’t like feeling that bad on
my day off but I find that I need to to
recharge and on Mondays I am dead to the
world I do not take calls
I do not read email I do not take text
messages I sleep in I get up I play
around the house I go to lunch with my
wife we relax in the afternoon and
Monday evenings we do family night with
our families I now have grandkids that
are involved and we’ve kept that
religiously we’ve kept that faithfully
over the years and it has kept me from
burning out under enormous pressure how
would you like to pastor Church where
you move the church building 79 times in
the first 13 years I did because land
was so expensive we used 79 different
facilities of the first 13 years some
weeks I’d be in five different buildings
Laguna Hills High School for Sunday
morning
el Toro High School Sunday evening a
bank building for Wednesday another one
on Thursday and Saturday night service
that an
the school and or not we said we’re the
church if you can figure out where we
are this week you get to come
he said we only want our church for
really intelligent people so we keep
changing the location but that was a lot
of frustration and I can tell you I have
learned to handle enormous amounts of
stress an enormous amount of tension but
I could not do it if I didn’t rest my
body if I didn’t take my day off if I
didn’t and don’t call it your day off
call it your Sabbath salt your day off
you’ll fill it with your honey-do list
all stuff it couldn’t get done and try
to use it to catch up on other stuff no
it is a day of rest relaxation
relationships restoration emotionally so
you need to rest your body so forget
what can’t be changed and focus on the
future until you learn to do this you’re
going to be unhappy much of your life
because you hold on to the habits and
you hold on to the hurts and the hangups
and you hold on to the grief and the
guilt and the grudges and that causes so
much unhappiness in your life you got to
let it go are you focusing on all your
energies you have a limited amount of
energy you don’t have unlimited energy
you know that that’s why you get tired
so why you get fatigued why you get worn
out you don’t have unlimited energy
since you don’t have unlimited energy I
highly suggest you don’t waste any of it
on something that you can’t change in
the past why in the world would you give
one more second of emotional energy to
something that is never going to change
it’s done it’s over it’s finished your
past is past you got to let it go don’t
waste it your consciousness is the way
you talk to yourself through good your
consciousness is the story you tell
yourself you’re a army about
autopilot yes I can tell your autopilot
finish systems 10 times it’s just like
me to be and I’ll tell your autopilot
it’s just like me to be lazy it’s just
like me to be late it’s just like me
that is your autopilot
now the story we tell ourselves is the
fourth factor that influences us the
Bible says that the man thinks in his
heart so you know he is and and so you
have to change your autopilot now let me
tell you how to do this all of us have
things we want to change in our lives
the way you think affects the way you
feel and the way you feel affects the
way you behave if you want to change the
way you act you start back here with
your thoughts if I’m acting depressed
it’s because I feel depressed and if
it’s I feel the process because I’m
choosing to think the Prescotts
you can’t change a feeling but you can
change the thought you tell a little kid
stop be happy I’m Troy and dirty you
can’t force a feeling okay you can’t
force me but you can change the thought
that is creating the feeling now here’s
a real important thing about temptation
I’ve shared there’s a lot of people
itself a lot of people when we have a
when you have a habit or I have a habit
that I don’t like and I’m being tempted
to go to this habit over and over and
over the key to changing a habit is not
to resist it but to replace it not to
resist but refocus if a guy’s having a
problem with pornography and he’s
watching TV he doesn’t just say no I
don’t want this I don’t want this he
just flips the channel the moment you
change the channel if the temptation
loses its power on you do not listen
here’s a pastor tarnis do not resist
temptation do not resist in the 8th I
may tell you why says the pastor yeah
let me tell you why
what you resist persist but because the
whole time you’re focused on it what you
need to do is just change your focus and
this is taking your conscience and
saying I’m going to renew my mind I’m
going to think on these things
whatsoever things are pure and lovely
and a good report I’m going to think
about good thing and that’s how be
transformed by the renewing by the
renewing of your mind it’s not say when
I was little kid Oprah my mom would bake
chocolate chip cookies at night and I’d
walk and stand up at the kitchen table
and my mom would say now Ricky don’t
don’t you eat those chocolate chip
cookies because dinner is coming and
actually I’m not mom I’m just looking
whatever gets your attention gets you
yeah so if you want to break a habit you
just refocus and that’s the renewing of
your mind put your mind on the right
thing no matter what you do somebody’s
not going to like you no matter you
cannot please everybody you can’t please
everybody all the time or even part of
the time so here’s the thing I would say
to you you don’t need other people’s
approval to be happy now that’s an
important thing we think if I can just
get everybody to love me I’ll be happy
no first you’re never going to do it and
if like some of you’ve been trying to
get your parents approval and they’re
like dead or they’re elderly and you if
you haven’t got it by now you’re not
going to get it but here’s the thing you
don’t need it you don’t need any bells
as approval you happy
thank you guys so much for watching I
made this video because Eric Coleman
asked me to so if there’s a famous
entrepreneur that you want me to profile
next leave it down the comments below
and I’ll see what I can do I also love
to know what did you learn from Rick
today that has the biggest impact on you
what lesson did you really absorb that
you’re going to immediately apply to
your life or business somehow please
leave it down in the comments and I’m
going to join in the discussion finally
I want to give a quick shout out to Judy
Judy thank you so much for picking up a
copy of my book your one word I really
appreciate your support and that picture
that you posted on Instagram as well
thank you thank you thank you thank you
so much so thank you guys again for
watching I believe in you
I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon
knowing how to recognize what’s
important and what’s not important I
can’t tell you how important this skill
is and how few people have it to look at
a situation oh that’s important that’s
not that matters that doesn’t matter
that’s valuable that’s not valuable
this is crucial that’s not crucial
leaders know what’s important and they
focus on that and they forget everything
else successful people know what matters
and don’t worry about what doesn’t
matter Paul says this one thing I do not
these 40 things I dabble in he is
focuses laser focused and you have to
learn this skill in life to be
successful at work and it at home and
and in life the skill of knowing what
matters most
I’ve always been tested about my skin
tone and a brown spot for my face which
has made me very insecure as an adult I
discovered makeup I never met my family
or friends or anyone I’m dating see me
without makeup so to be here without it
right now is a huge self the fact is
everybody’s got flaws nobody’s perfect
but the definition of flaw is 100%
subjective because what we might think
is the flaw in our culture is a beauty
mark of somebody else’s right and so
really there’s an african country where
the fatter you are the more what the
more husband
[Applause]
okay you know I bought a pair of jeans
the other day and I got a homeless those
distressed jeans there’s a little tag on
it it said these jeans are intentionally
flawed to make them unique Wow you need
to write that one down we are all
intentionally flawed to make us unique
now
Porsha’s problem is actually a deeper
problem and the issue here is it is the
myth that being beautiful will make me
happy I live in Southern California a
lot of pretty people there who are
miserable so it is not an automatic
beauty equals happiness yes
happiness is a choice so you’ve got to
realize that sometimes your own self
rejection is turning people away that
everybody went yes it’s her perception
of what absolutely yeah she’s flat-out
gorgeous but the point is is that it
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
I say this to Portia though you don’t
want friends who only love you for your
looks
and and you don’t and you don’t want a
husband who only loves you for your look
[Applause]
but I’ll tell you this our looks aren’t
going to stay now mine do but I don’t
know about yours
[Music]
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