what did Beckett say I can’t go on I’ll
go on so even if I don’t burn in your
hearts and minds long after this speech
is over even if I don’t inspire you to
reach for the stars and beyond even if I
am erased from your memory after one
glass of wine tonight where am I going
you know I won’t speak of my time here
like some old fisherman you have already
had your time here you have your own
story to tell but I have to say for me
it did start here in Vermont on a very
rainy night it was 1987 and I was a
prospective student the rain was coming
down so hard it was impossible to see
that I was meeting the person who would
later become my greatest friend and
collaborator a freshman who would 17
years later and introduced me to the
woman that became my wife it was late at
night on the road right there near booth
house and despite the dark night and the
heavy rain this place was so alive the
lights pulsed from each of the dorms now
I was a kid from New Jersey who went to
I was four foot something I mumbled when
I spoke there are not shinier more
important people out there your fellow
students your friends sitting around you
22 years after my own graduation I have
worked with my rainy night friend and
fellow graduate Sherm on countless
productions
he has written in all stages of
development from living rooms to
off-broadway Brooks Ian Justin breath
John Matthews Jim Shawn Hyland icky and
the B are all classmates
I shared my time with here and still
work with and I’m lucky to call my
friends we are very spoiled here people
always say to me for such a small school
I find that really interesting and I
kind of think that’s perfect we can’t
help it we burn very brightly please
graduates now when I sat where you are
right sitting right now I had so many
dreams of where I wanted to go who I
wanted to be and what I wanted to do
theater companies I wanted to start with
classmates movies I wanted to be in
directors I wanted to work with stories
I weeded to tell it might take a little
time I thought but it would happen when
i sat there excuse me
22 years ago what I didn’t want to think
what I would have to start to do
tomorrow and I graduated in 1991 a great
year a time of resurgence for
independent films in this country a time
of relatively affordable rents in New
York City I see I assumed that I could
make a living writing my plays acting
way off off off Broadway and hopefully
one day join the actors I loved and
respected in those independent films TV
what no what are you kidding me no
didn’t even consider that I had much
more class than that much more
self-respect than that soap operas in
what I didn’t have was cash a bank
a big hungry growing larger every moment
dead so as you will tomorrow I had to
leave beautiful Vermont I packed the
life that I knew with socks and a
toothbrush into my backpack and I slept
on couch after couch after couch after
couch at friends apartments in New York
until I wore out their rent paying
roommates welcome I didn’t want a day
job I was an actor I was a writer I was
a Bennington graduate I had to get a day
job I dusted pianos at a piano store on
Ludlow Street for five months I worked
on the property of a Shakespeare scholar
for a year pulling weeds and removing
bees nests I went on unemployment once
but for not for long I couldn’t handle
eventually I was able to pay rent for a
spot on the floor of an apartment on the
Lower East Side but my roommate had a
breakdown and disappeared he later
resurfaced in a religious cult I’m
making this sound romantic
it really wasn’t I helped hang paintings
at galleries paintings that inspired
and then finally after two years of job
and couchsurfing I got a job in
application processing as a data enter
er at a place called professional
examination services and I stayed for
six years six years longer than my time
at Bennington from the age of 23 to 29
well they loved me there I was funny I
wore black no cape no tights I smoked in
the loading docks with the guys from the
mailroom and we shared how hungover we
all were I called in sick almost every
Friday because I was out late the night
before I hated that job and I clung to
that job because of that job I could
afford my own place my rent was $400 a
my dream of running a theater company
with my friend and fellow Bennington
graduate Ian Bell had died I won’t go
into those details but neither one of us
had any business sense and the theater
we lived in it had no heat or hot water
we didn’t smell very good
but we had our youth that youth gets old
very quickly you’ll see so Ian moved out
to Seattle and I moved up to the street
to my loft and I still didn’t have heat
in 1993 industrial loft meant not legal
to live there I see I don’t want this to
sound cool and I feel like it’s sounding
cool but I did have hot water hot water
in my bathroom which a friend of mine
using said bathroom once shouted it
smells exactly like a summer camp in
here it was true for some reason in the
middle of Brooklyn there was earth in my
actual earth and then look mushrooms
growing from the earth but I was safe
though the ideal fire control company
was right across the street where they
make all the chemicals that put out
chemical fires I did not fear a chemical
fire I would be okay and all those
chemicals in the air were okay too
because up the street we had the spice
factory they made spices and that just
covered everything up in a nice cumin
scent I had a rat but that was okay cuz
I got a cat his name was Brian no
[Music]
my grandmother had given me a pink
pull-out couch I had only the one window
I myself could not look out the window
it was it was quite high
so I had no heat no girlfriend what are
you kidding me no thing agent I stayed
for ten years
when I was 29 I told myself the next
acting job I get no matter what it pays
I will from now on for better or worse
be a working actor and now I didn’t have
either the internet for a cellphone for
a job but something good happened
I got a low-paying theater job in a play
called
imperfect love which led to a film
called 13 moons with the same writer
which led to other roles which led to
other roles
but I didn’t know that would happen at
29 walking away from data processing I
was terrified ten years in a place
without heat
six years at a job I felt stuck in maybe
I was afraid of change
are you my parents didn’t have much
money but they struggled to send me to
the best schools and one of the most
important things they did for me and
graduates maybe you don’t want to hear
this is that once I graduated I was on
my own
financially it was my turn but this made
me very hungry literally I couldn’t be
lazy now I’m totally lazy but back then
I couldn’t be and so at 29 and a very
long last I was in the company of the
actors and writers and directors I’d
sought out that first year that first
day after school I was I am by their
the moments that define you have already
happened and they will already happen
again and it passes so quickly so please
bring each other along with you everyone
you need is in this room these are the
you you just get a bit derailed but soon
something starts to happen trust me a
rhythm sets in just like it did after
your first few days here just try not to
wait until like me you’re 29 before you
find it and if you are that’s fine too
some of us never find it but you will I
promise you you are already here that’s
such an enormous step all its own you’ll
find your rhythm or continue the one you
I’ve already found don’t wait until they
tell you you are ready get in there
sing the world might say you are not
allowed to yet I waited a long time out
in the world before I gave myself
permission to fail please
don’t even bother asking don’t bother
telling the world you already show it do
ever tried ever failed no matter
Bennington class of 2012 the world is
yours treat everyone kindly and light up
the night thank you so much for having me here
go on so even if I don’t burn in your
hearts and minds long after this speech
is over even if I don’t inspire you to
reach for the stars and beyond even if I
am erased from your memory after one
glass of wine tonight where am I going
you know I won’t speak of my time here
like some old fisherman you have already
had your time here you have your own
story to tell but I have to say for me
it did start here in Vermont on a very
rainy night it was 1987 and I was a
prospective student the rain was coming
down so hard it was impossible to see
that I was meeting the person who would
later become my greatest friend and
collaborator a freshman who would 17
years later and introduced me to the
woman that became my wife it was late at
night on the road right there near booth
house and despite the dark night and the
heavy rain this place was so alive the
lights pulsed from each of the dorms now
I was a kid from New Jersey who went to
I was four foot something I mumbled when
I spoke there are not shinier more
important people out there your fellow
students your friends sitting around you
22 years after my own graduation I have
worked with my rainy night friend and
fellow graduate Sherm on countless
productions
he has written in all stages of
development from living rooms to
off-broadway Brooks Ian Justin breath
John Matthews Jim Shawn Hyland icky and
the B are all classmates
I shared my time with here and still
work with and I’m lucky to call my
friends we are very spoiled here people
always say to me for such a small school
I find that really interesting and I
kind of think that’s perfect we can’t
help it we burn very brightly please
graduates now when I sat where you are
right sitting right now I had so many
dreams of where I wanted to go who I
wanted to be and what I wanted to do
theater companies I wanted to start with
classmates movies I wanted to be in
directors I wanted to work with stories
I weeded to tell it might take a little
time I thought but it would happen when
i sat there excuse me
22 years ago what I didn’t want to think
what I would have to start to do
tomorrow and I graduated in 1991 a great
year a time of resurgence for
independent films in this country a time
of relatively affordable rents in New
York City I see I assumed that I could
make a living writing my plays acting
way off off off Broadway and hopefully
one day join the actors I loved and
respected in those independent films TV
what no what are you kidding me no
didn’t even consider that I had much
more class than that much more
self-respect than that soap operas in
what I didn’t have was cash a bank
a big hungry growing larger every moment
dead so as you will tomorrow I had to
leave beautiful Vermont I packed the
life that I knew with socks and a
toothbrush into my backpack and I slept
on couch after couch after couch after
couch at friends apartments in New York
until I wore out their rent paying
roommates welcome I didn’t want a day
job I was an actor I was a writer I was
a Bennington graduate I had to get a day
job I dusted pianos at a piano store on
Ludlow Street for five months I worked
on the property of a Shakespeare scholar
for a year pulling weeds and removing
bees nests I went on unemployment once
but for not for long I couldn’t handle
eventually I was able to pay rent for a
spot on the floor of an apartment on the
Lower East Side but my roommate had a
breakdown and disappeared he later
resurfaced in a religious cult I’m
making this sound romantic
it really wasn’t I helped hang paintings
at galleries paintings that inspired
and then finally after two years of job
and couchsurfing I got a job in
application processing as a data enter
er at a place called professional
examination services and I stayed for
six years six years longer than my time
at Bennington from the age of 23 to 29
well they loved me there I was funny I
wore black no cape no tights I smoked in
the loading docks with the guys from the
mailroom and we shared how hungover we
all were I called in sick almost every
Friday because I was out late the night
before I hated that job and I clung to
that job because of that job I could
afford my own place my rent was $400 a
my dream of running a theater company
with my friend and fellow Bennington
graduate Ian Bell had died I won’t go
into those details but neither one of us
had any business sense and the theater
we lived in it had no heat or hot water
we didn’t smell very good
but we had our youth that youth gets old
very quickly you’ll see so Ian moved out
to Seattle and I moved up to the street
to my loft and I still didn’t have heat
in 1993 industrial loft meant not legal
to live there I see I don’t want this to
sound cool and I feel like it’s sounding
cool but I did have hot water hot water
in my bathroom which a friend of mine
using said bathroom once shouted it
smells exactly like a summer camp in
here it was true for some reason in the
middle of Brooklyn there was earth in my
actual earth and then look mushrooms
growing from the earth but I was safe
though the ideal fire control company
was right across the street where they
make all the chemicals that put out
chemical fires I did not fear a chemical
fire I would be okay and all those
chemicals in the air were okay too
because up the street we had the spice
factory they made spices and that just
covered everything up in a nice cumin
scent I had a rat but that was okay cuz
I got a cat his name was Brian no
[Music]
my grandmother had given me a pink
pull-out couch I had only the one window
I myself could not look out the window
it was it was quite high
so I had no heat no girlfriend what are
you kidding me no thing agent I stayed
for ten years
when I was 29 I told myself the next
acting job I get no matter what it pays
I will from now on for better or worse
be a working actor and now I didn’t have
either the internet for a cellphone for
a job but something good happened
I got a low-paying theater job in a play
called
imperfect love which led to a film
called 13 moons with the same writer
which led to other roles which led to
other roles
but I didn’t know that would happen at
29 walking away from data processing I
was terrified ten years in a place
without heat
six years at a job I felt stuck in maybe
I was afraid of change
are you my parents didn’t have much
money but they struggled to send me to
the best schools and one of the most
important things they did for me and
graduates maybe you don’t want to hear
this is that once I graduated I was on
my own
financially it was my turn but this made
me very hungry literally I couldn’t be
lazy now I’m totally lazy but back then
I couldn’t be and so at 29 and a very
long last I was in the company of the
actors and writers and directors I’d
sought out that first year that first
day after school I was I am by their
the moments that define you have already
happened and they will already happen
again and it passes so quickly so please
bring each other along with you everyone
you need is in this room these are the
you you just get a bit derailed but soon
something starts to happen trust me a
rhythm sets in just like it did after
your first few days here just try not to
wait until like me you’re 29 before you
find it and if you are that’s fine too
some of us never find it but you will I
promise you you are already here that’s
such an enormous step all its own you’ll
find your rhythm or continue the one you
I’ve already found don’t wait until they
tell you you are ready get in there
sing the world might say you are not
allowed to yet I waited a long time out
in the world before I gave myself
permission to fail please
don’t even bother asking don’t bother
telling the world you already show it do
ever tried ever failed no matter
Bennington class of 2012 the world is
yours treat everyone kindly and light up
the night thank you so much for having me here
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