what if I told you you died this week
would you complain about your crap job
or that test you don’t want to take I
doubt it
you go much higher level thinking well
that’s really what it takes it takes
understanding that if you’re not pumped
right now if you’re punching what you’re
about to do if you’re if you’re not
looking forward to it look I respect
practicality you got to go through
school because your parents want to you
got to pay your rent you got student
loans I get it
please recognize the world we’re living
in we’re living in a world where there’s
so much more opportunity this internet
thing created regular opportunity for
all of us way more I mean look you
wouldn’t even be alive like your mom and
dad could have had sex like three
minutes later and you wouldn’t even
exist and you’re complaining I just
don’t get the mentality of being head
down sad on a Monday morning I’m gonna
make Monday morning my I’m gonna make
you Saturday Monday morning that’s what
I want to do every morning and that’s
what I want from you please take a step
back and think about how awesome it
actually is and then recognize that you
can attack the world in a totally
different way because you are lucky
enough to be born during this era the
only thing you have to believe in right
now is that humans are capable of
learning that humans for whatever reason
nature has chosen to not endow us with a
whole bunch of like pre-programmed
things so for instance a baby horse a
fool I believe is how you say that when
they’re born they can already walk
literally boom they come out and they’re
walking and all as well because that’s
all hardwired into them but a horse is a
horse is a horse and they’re gonna stay
a horse and that’s that and you’re never
gonna find a horse reading Chaucer just
not gonna happen
so that’s
all those decisions are pre-wired humans
on the other hand come out they cannot
take care of themselves they’re a lump
of flesh they basically know how to
suckle and that’s sort of the extent of
it but now humans have the ability to go
in all these crazy different directions
and they can learn to become an
astrophysicist they can learn to become
a carpenter a doctor or an astronaut
like the number of directions that
humans can go in is crazy the amount of
what was once known as junk DNA we now
know as epigenetic signaling the way
that we can respond in all these
different directions to our environment
to the things we choose to focus our
energies on is truly unique to humans is
is it just absolutely astonishing so
understanding that that’s baked into the
human animal is the ability to learn and
go in any direction so once you realize
that humans are adaptation machines that
we can learn anything now it’s like okay
whatever you want to do you can do it as
long as you’re willing to pay that price
I’m not saying that it’s not gonna be
hard it is gonna be very very hard I’m
just saying that it is doable and that
you will receive a return on investment
in your energies and that’s what people
need to know and believe to the core of
their being that my time in this
direction will be rewarded now here’s
where people themselves up there is this
retarded debate about whether or not it
is hey am i pre-programmed I’m good at
math and so that’s it and I should go do
things that are math or I’m good at
verbal and I should go do things that
are verbal I’m naturally gifted as an
athlete so I should go be an athlete
look I’m not saying people don’t get
early wins people get early wins and if
you happen to love the thing you’re
getting early wins and that’s awesome
man and you will find it just a little
bit easier you’ve got a head wind or a
tail whether that’s the tail wind you
have a tailwind and so that
love that but if they’re the thing that
gives you the most energy in life is
something that you have no natural
inclinations for think I learned that
when I say that I have zero zero natural
ability as an entrepreneur I mean zero I
had to learn everything from not being
lazy to problem solving to overcoming my
paralyzing fear to look at world like a
puzzle dealing with anxiety literally it
it was comical as I was going down my
journey in the beginning as an
entrepreneur to figure this out
it’s ridiculous and then I meet people
who are like ripping flowers out of
people’s front yards and selling them
back to them like when I say that that
was not me I had a paper route and I was
so chicken to go up to people’s doors
that I actually only got half the money
that I could have gotten for the same
paper route the same amount of effort
but because I was so afraid to go knock
on people’s doors and ask to collect the
money that was do that for like two
years I did a paper up for half the
money okay that’s how spastic of an
entrepreneur I was when I started so you
can learn this stuff now my goals
demanded that I learn entrepreneurship
so I learned it so that’s what I want
people to understand what is your goal
work backwards from there if it lines up
with what you’re naturally good at
that’s amazing and congratulations but
they’re gonna be times where it doesn’t
line up and you’ve just got a either
change your goal or recognize that I’m
any more and more intrigued by mindset
because I used to think of it as fluffy
like self-help and now I think in
momentum or as strategy what’s your
strategy in life somebody asked me on
instagram after I posted a scary if the
mindset has been skewed how can you
bring it back and I answered with by
surrounding yourself of people who have
the mindset you aspire to my friends
please understand that mindset is
controllable in the same way that all
our opinions are controllable the key is
to add more people with optimism and cut
people with negativity it’s very very
simple now it’s very hard to cut people
with pessimism cynicism and negativity
when they are the people that are the
closest to you parents siblings spouse
but the bottom line is if you’re asking
the question I’m gonna give you the
answer the answer is add more people
with positivity and optimism and cut
people with pessimism and cynicism who
you surround yourself matters what
content you consume matters I basically
suffocate myself for a long period of my
time and created an environment that was
based on offense and optimism and now I
know no different please do the same for
you make that move mold and I mean mold
your mindset by what you consume and
with whom you consume it I’m the kind of
person that believes you should always
make decisions with your heart and soul
you can use your brain for math you can
use your brain to look at the fine print
and a contract but when it comes to the
actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward and check it against
your heart and soul how do you do that
here’s the simple test does the decision
that you’re about to make expand you
expand your future or expand the
possibilities of your life if the answer
is yes then the decision is yes no
matter how terrifying it is if you
conversely look at the choice that you
have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way
then the answer is no no matter how easy
the decision is no matter how safe the
decision is the answer is no now one of
the things I want to point out that when
you start to use this does it expand or
does it shrink me
does it open possibilities or does it
keep things closed does it raise my
voice or does it silence me right is
that there’s always a short-term and a
long-term impact to the decision the
short-term impact to making an expansive
decision a decision that’s based in your
heart in your soul
sometimes it’s terrifying because
sometimes it means moving or it means
changing a job or changing a
relationship or having a difficult
conversation or starting something new
and those sorts of things are always
uncomfortable so brace for impact
put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you not what’s safe
in the moment find a situation where you
can be in the room with masters of a
craft and that could just be deal making
it could be joining a small company say
a fewer than 50 people or you simply get
to observe one of the principles
negotiating in an industry that you
don’t even care anything about right it
could be waste management and you want
to go into high tech but if you sit in a
room with someone who’s an absolute pro
at crafting deals negotiating getting
past know those skills and maybe those
relationships start to snowball all
right and this is what scott adams the
creator and Dilbert would call systems
thinking so instead of being wedded to
the outcome of a given job you are
accumulating skills and relationships
that transcend that job okay and if you
choose your environments well because as
I’ve said before and as people like Drew
the CEO of Dropbox as a friend have said
you’re the average of the five people
you associate with most
all right so if you take just a few
years have the patients a few years to
really develop core competencies that
allow you to craft your own reality and
life negotiation deal-making getting
past though etc learning how to pitch
how to get someone’s attention in 30
seconds so that you can then create the
desire and ultimately ask for some type
of action once you develop those then
you can really just create the map for
the next decade in the next several
decades so that would be it it would be
learned before you earn and it’s never
too late to do that so I don’t care if
you’re coming out of college coming at
high school 30 40 whatever it is
systems-thinking
focus on the skills and relationships
first and then you can just create a
blank check for how much money you want
to make if that is your goal so what you
want to do and this this Tony Robbins
asked this question I think it’s
absolutely brilliant how is the worst
thing that ever happened to me the best
thing that ever happened to me
so in your circumstance how is being in
a chaotic home life the best thing ever
now I’ll give you one example off the
top of my head and this is exactly why I
play first-person shooters can you learn
to stay calm in the chaos because my
friend have the chills if you can do
that it will serve you so well in every
single area of your life in a
relationship in business if you want to
be an athlete if you want to play games
like what ever it is that you do one of
the things that you’re gonna have to
become great at is letting all of the
noise drift away into nothing and
getting into laser focus on that thing
that you’re working on now when I give
advice like that to people they think
well how do I practice the amazing news
is the best thing
has ever happen to you is that you have
a built-in way to do that your home life
is mass chaos so now you get a chance to
practice I have the chills you get a
chance to practice every day tuning out
the chaos and getting laser focused on
something that’s framing now there are
other ways but that one is so powerful
that I will end it there focus on that
it is practice practice every day thank
god you’re living in this chaotic
environment man congratulations
whether it’s Jaco will Inc you mentioned
retired Navy SEAL commander used to be
in charge of all West Coast training for
the SEAL Teams which is intense highly
highly decorated weathers Jacko saying
discipline equals freedom or you look at
say some of the writers or musicians or
directors or others in the book across
pretty much all of them you find that
they find freedom in constraints so what
does that mean sounds kind of weird it
also sounds very sounds like an oxymoron
right and what I mean by that is all of
these people have routines they have set
recipes that they repeat on a daily and
weekly basis so that they are not making
a lot of extraneous decisions about
mundane things and they also recognize
that we all have our less ourselves our
impulses I love chocolate croissants if
there were if I left my entire schedule
to whim I would just eat chocolate
croissants all day long I love them
they’re incredible and I still do have
them well it’s a week I have my cheat
day and I’m allowed to do what I want so
I let my monkey mind and my lesser self
just go nuts
but these people all have typically
these and these are folks we might be
inclined to think of as superheroes and
maybe Jacko’s super April but the vast
majority have one or two strengths they
may not even be the best in the world
but one or two strengths they combine in
a really unique way and they build
habits around those strengths
and then they have a thousand other
weaknesses but the habits and routines
are what helped them from going off the
rails and this is really encouraging
this should be really encouraging
because the people we see on magazine
covers that we might idolize and feel we
could never possibly emulate because
they have it all figured out
they’d have no insecurities they wake up
every morning and with a mental karate
chops they just master the day that’s
not how it works I know these people
almost everyone in this book certainly
on the podcast have become friends with
hundreds of these people not true they
have tons of not everyone I don’t speak
for everyone but tons of neuroses tons
of terrible self-defeating habits and
the safety that they create is habits
and routines that’s why jaakko in part
says discipline equals freedom okay so
you have trouble waking up in the
morning no problem you want to stage it
this is something Jocko does takes his
clothing prepares gets this sort of
coffee ready to brew clothing on the
floor for the workout right next to his
bed prepared the night before so there
are no decisions there are no
opportunities to make mistakes
between him opening his eyes and jakka
working out and you find this across
everybody
every single morning Monday through
Fridays at 9:00 a.m. I host a live
call-in radio show on Sirius satellite
radio it’s called make it happen with
Mel Robbins and the thing that’s been so
crazy about that show is every single
person that calls me on that show they
call in because they’re feeling stuck in
their lives and they’re resigned about
their ability to change their lives and
I’m not talking about people that are
nuts I’m talking about successful people
like you and me that just somehow got
stuck in their lives and I’m not talking
about people that are looking for cheesy
self-help
I’m talking about people that really
want to figure out how to move
themselves forward and you know I find
that so many of us think that our dreams
are unreachable or unrealistic and it’s
just so sad I mean people think that
their dreams disappear and if that’s
what you think congratulations you’re
officially stuck and the truth is that
our dreams are always there and they
don’t ever give up on us we give up on
them but here’s the secret if you just
force yourself and I mean force because
I know damn well none of you want to do
anything about this and I also know
you’re sitting there like yeah the
self-help crap this isn’t for me but if
you just force yourself to take a couple
small steps there’s always a surprise
I’m not gonna stare at you stare at your
past and you’ll end up staying there
it’s okay to look back and admire it but
you carry on I’m not I’m not in the
business of staring staring back at it
you know what I mean I’m getting lost
back there it’s people say you can
people say a loss can make a break a
fighter but trust me a win can also make
a break a fire because they get
comfortable with it with a win people
can get comfortable with it with a win
and and and slack off then slack off on
the train and slack off on the diet
they’ve won one they’re winners now
that’s not me you know you sleep on a
you sleep on a win and you’ll wake up
with a loss so I just carry on keep
doing what I’m doing and that’s why
these turnaround is so good for me
Vegas straight away the Fighting Irish
head to the fighting capital
it’s perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top
how many times have you had somebody say
to you or have you got a minute Bob we
got a minute
they don’t want a minute would you think
about that I read a poem one time it
said I have only just a minute only 60
seconds and it was forced upon me I
can’t refuse that I didn’t seek and I
didn’t choose it but it’s up to me to
use it I must suffer if I lose it give a
count if I abuse it it’s only a tiny low
a minute but eternity is in it validity
rate I thought I’m gonna put this on a
video I just want to share it with
everybody just this one little part out
of the seminar I’m making I want you to
look at this Sam timer and let this I
want you to think about your life the
sand in the top of the glass represents
the future the sand and the bottom of
the glass represents the past now do you
know we know what’s in the past and
younger we can’t do anything about it
do you know what the trick is you don’t
know how much sands in the top of the
glass you may think you have a lot you
might only have a little then again you
may think you have a little and you
might have a lot when I was a little boy
I was raised by my grandmother and I
don’t know when I was little gaffer’s
she was probably 60 but as long as I
could remember RAM would say I’ll soon
begun there I’ll soon be gone well you
know we loved her she was really an
angel of God but we thought she was
never gonna go she lived to be 94 for
30-some years I’ll soon be gone she
didn’t think she had much time left she
had 34 years left now about the same
time I had a buddy of mine Bob Yates he
was just 16 and bang he run into the
abutment of a ridge and his life was
snuffed out if you had asked him a
half-hour before how much sand you had
left he would have said at least a half
a century he didn’t ever happen
see the trick is we don’t know how much
sand we have left the future we don’t
know the past it’s gone now the only
thing you can deal with is what’s right
here right now
and if you look the sand is always
moving now think of this you see I was
working on that and then I was working
on a graph I’ve got here at my computer
and I’m thinking at the time somebody
said to him you got a minute
well they don’t really want a minute do
you know if you’re running fifty
thousand dollars a year a minutes 42
cents a half-hour is $12.50 if we take
that ahead of it if you’re earning
$80,000 a year a minute sixty-seven
cents half hours $20 yearning a hundred
and fifty thousand dollars a year got a
minute and it cost you a dollar
twenty-five a minute now half hours
thirty seven dollars and fifty cents so
you see if somebody said you want to
stop for a cup of coffee
well if you’re earning a quarter of a
million dollars a year a minute is two
dollars and eight cents half hours
$62.50 and and of course you’ve got the
coffee to pay for on top of that so you
see the point is this this is all we’ve
got right here right now we don’t know
how much we have left in the future but
we do know what we’ve got now and I have
found the people that win are the people
who make up their mind they’re not gonna
waste the minutes they’re gonna be
productive they’re gonna make it happen
every men failure is part of life I mean
the difference for me though is I like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that messed me
but I show people that didn’t want to
stop me and you only to stop you and I
think I think that’s really the secret
matter and if everything you touch was
successful relate to people’s money and
also its be total bullsh and everyone
know it’s cool and also you’d be bored
silly I mean think about it if you just
said I want this to happen I want this
to happen
you know people don’t value what they
don’t fight for you know it’s like you
see kids sometimes in it you know your
parents will say you’re not gonna value
this if you don’t work for it and you’re
keeping going value just give it to me
but it’s true you know about things
we’ve worked the hardest for we value
the most so I think you know the purpose
of the goal is not getting it anyway the
purpose of goal you know is what who you
become will you becomes gonna make you
happier who’s gonna make you sad so I’m
not looking for an effortless approach
thank you so superior and my knowledge
is so positive I’m watching
so was until the clashes with the
mentality which is down here and I’m
both there for her I can see buoyancy
farther than you and you’re looking at
mrs. Holly don’t do it
please tell me when you’re hurt and you
want a job making 60 70 pounds a week
[Music]
the country it’s not known in his own
neighborhood Valley don’t do it but I’m
in such a high level until I don’t think
like you I’m not like you I’m not saying
you I mean that on your person but you
do you know why they say that
thanks for the possible reasons they
have fear and they are wearing looks
looks dangerous to them that’s not
really they’re dangerous to me where
most people go they get into an endless
loop of self punishment which is totally
ineffective but if you don’t learn to
punish yourself you will never get where
you want to go now that needs to pale in
comparison to the amount of time that
you reward yourself they need to earn
that reward if you’re just lavishing
yourself with emotional praise and you
haven’t done anything then I think that
that will cheapen it it will ultimately
mean nothing and quite frankly I don’t
think you can really been boozled
yourself I don’t think if you try to
praise yourself for stupid I think some
part of you knows that you haven’t done
anything to deserve that praise but when
you set a bar and you meet that or
exceed that to then tell yourself hey
you did it you said you were gonna do it
you did it and that is worthy of praise
and getting good at praising yourself is
incredibly important and I think that
most people have a very hard time doing
both most people don’t know how to
effectively praise themselves they don’t
know how to get themselves first of all
to do things that are praiseworthy and
then when they do they don’t take the
time to emotionally reward themselves
meaning you actually to feel it
it can’t just be intellectual you’ve got
to actually feel that
and the same with punishment if you say
you’re gonna do something even if
nobody’s watching and you don’t do it
then you need to emotionally punish
yourself none of you will ever know
whether I actually get out of bed in ten
minutes or less or not but I say I do
all the time but every time I miss it
even if I miss it by seconds I just gave
myself two chills even if I miss it by
second
I will punish myself for that because I
said I was gonna do it and I didn’t do
it so the fact that nobody’s watching is
utterly irrelevant to me it has
everything to do with myself now the
reason that this is important the reason
that I think that people need to do this
is because that’s how you shape your
behavior so like water over time can
greed create the Grand Canyon or you can
take a polishing rock and shape stones
you can shape your personality you can
certainly shape your identity and shape
your behaviors if you learn how to
reward and punish yourself I know a lot
of people don’t want to hear that that
is the truth of the human condition it’s
hard changing your life it was hard when
just over three years ago in the
Penobscot Building in Detroit Michigan
where I was operating my business and I
fell on some hard times and I was
sleeping in my office
it was hard coming into the lobby and
the security said scuse me mr. Brown can
we see you for a moment and I said yes
and I walked up to the counter and he
gave me an envelope and he said would
you mind reading it here and I opened
the envelope and the envelope was from
management that says this is an office
tower it’s not a hotel please do not
sleep in your office and I said excuse
me sir I said I just worked long hours
and creating my business I’m an
entrepreneur and right now things are
bad for me but they’re not going to be
this way always and I just asked for the
opportunity to continue to operate like
I’m doing I’m not trying to make this my
home and it was hard coming through the
lobby and sometimes they would laugh
there’s a guy talking about becoming
successful and look at him he’s bathing
in the bathroom upstairs on the 21st
floor he sleeps on the floor him and two
other dreamers up there look at him it
was hard ladies and gentlemen coming to
speak to people
and I was facing financial difficulties
in my own life I was behind on my bills
and my dreams and I’m saying to them you
can live your dream it was hard ladies
and gentlemen it was very difficult to
pick myself up each day believing that I
can do it there were times that I
doubted myself I said God why why is
this happening to me I’m just trying to
take care of my children and my mother
I’m not trying to steal a Rob from
anybody how did this have to happen to
me it was very hard and here’s what I
want to say to you for those of you that
have experienced some hardships don’t
give up on your dream no one could have
convinced me by holding on by continuing
to push forward by continuing to run
toward my dream that one day I would
have my own talk show
it’s a longshot ladies and gentlemen
from Liberty City an abandoned building
order floor never annoying my mother
father it’s a long shot being here with
you today in this dome in Atlanta it’s a
long shot no college training labeled
educable mentally retarded but I kept
think that there’s a certain delusional
quality that all successful people have
to have you have to believe that
something different than what has
happened for the last 52 million years
of history you have to believe that
something different can happen it’s
almost a kind of innocence absolutely in
other words if you knew how difficult it
was right you would have never gone down
that path absolute you know if I was
somebody said to Olly no one can beat
this guy he’s this much stronger is this
much bigger he’s got that much bigger
punch than you do and he believed that
he would have said never have an
innocent somehow absolutely and I think
they dead that’s a huge part of me
because and I say to my friends all the
time and we laugh about it I truly
honestly as I sit here before you right
now as honestly as I can say it to you I
truly believe that I could be the
president if I wanted to and as bizarre
as that may sound to people that have
traveled the path before me and to
people who actually know how difficult
it is foolish Will Smith honestly
believes it’s very difficult to start
companies and quite painful I think
that’s important to bear in mind I don’t
that’s that’s probably not encouraging
leave this way if you need inspiring
woods don’t do it and I believe and I
learned very young from parents from my
parents absolutely that you you don’t
try to build a wall you don’t set out to
build a wall you don’t say I’m gonna
bake this build the biggest baddest
greatest wall that’s ever been built you
don’t start there you say I’m gonna lay
this brick as perfectly as a brick can
be laid there will not be one brick on
the face of the earth that’s gonna be
laid better than this brick that I’m
gonna lay in this next ten minutes and
you do that every single day it’s so you
know as soon you have a wall and I think
psychologically the advantage that that
gives me over over a lot of people that
I have been in competition with in
different situations is too difficult to
take the first step when you look how
big yeah the task is the task is never
huge to me it’s always and but by that I
mean just the fundamentals of logic you
know of do you have the right axioms are
they’re relevant and are you making the
right conclusions based on those on
those axioms that that’s the essence of
critical thinking and yet it is amazing
how often people fail to do that
I think wishful thinking is innate in
the human brain you you want things to
be the way you you were sent to be an so
you tend to filter information that you
shouldn’t filter that’s the most common
flaw that I see
this will be the biggest upset since
Sonny Liston and I think it is befitting
that I go out of boxing just like I came
in defeating a big bad monster that
nobody could destroy a hard punch I’m
the underdog if he hits me I’m in
trouble like the Sonny Liston fight but
I came back and I shook the world and I
got listed Nass ten years since Sonny
Liston I’m eating another big bad strong
monster
knockout artist that beats everybody
Sonny Liston knocked out Patterson twice
and I was supposed to fall but he did
not me out because he could hit hard but
he couldn’t find me yet George Foreman
dr. Ken Norton knocked out Joe Frazier
true I didn’t knock him out but I’m so
fast and so hard he looks so scientific
I’m a totally different man from Frazier
Norton listen David when I meet this man
if you think the world was surprised
when Nixon resigned wait till I with
full moons behind
[Applause]
I’m telling you David I’m down with 215
pounds right now said he went to 15 I’m
five weight already I’ll use a trained
six weeks for fight I’ve trained for
months or so I’m chopping trees I’ve
done something special I’ve wrestled
tussle what a whale out of handcuffs
lightning
throw thunder in jail now you know I’m
bad only last week I murdered a rock
into the stone hospitalized a brick I’m
so mean I make medicine sick
and strangers change can be there were
times when it was hard to imagine that
my life would be what it is today
especially the time when my son and I
were living in that bathroom maybe
remember that scene in the movie there
was a highly polished sheet metal piece
over a sink it wasn’t a mirror but it
served as a mirror and I had to wash
myself in that baby every day watch my
baby in this sink and had to ask myself
some very predictable questions what
happened why did this happen why did
that happen but the most difficult
question I had to get through was how
did I get here
and the answer was even more brutal the
answer was I drove here I had something
to do with it you can’t change something
until you own it so if you’re 50 plus
and you’re sitting out there and
pointing fingers at other people you can
do that for a long time but it’s hard to
look in the mirror and say how did I get
here and have the answer be I drove here
I had something to do with it it’s
uncomfortable to admit that well I made
some bad decisions I made some
investments I shouldn’t have made I had
something to do with it well that man
sold me that house with no money down I
should have told him what he could do at
that house huh when I signed that
adjustable rate mortgage we all know
these things only adjust upwards no
one’s ever gonna call you and say guess
what
you go pay less for your money your
house next year angle happen so the idea
of I drove here is empowering because
the other side of it is if I drove here
that means I can drive out of here I
have to own it and that bathroom I
finally had to understand what my mama
used to say to me where she would say
boy to Calvary is not coming ain’t no
back up I was 28 years old when that
part of my life happened change was
coming fast and you know what changes
everywhere all the time social change
technical logical change and the most
potent of all personal change the most
urgent question today is not so much as
one of my values and who are we the
urgent question on these times of
constant changes how exactly are you
going to navigate these new realities put another way what are you going to do
would you complain about your crap job
or that test you don’t want to take I
doubt it
you go much higher level thinking well
that’s really what it takes it takes
understanding that if you’re not pumped
right now if you’re punching what you’re
about to do if you’re if you’re not
looking forward to it look I respect
practicality you got to go through
school because your parents want to you
got to pay your rent you got student
loans I get it
please recognize the world we’re living
in we’re living in a world where there’s
so much more opportunity this internet
thing created regular opportunity for
all of us way more I mean look you
wouldn’t even be alive like your mom and
dad could have had sex like three
minutes later and you wouldn’t even
exist and you’re complaining I just
don’t get the mentality of being head
down sad on a Monday morning I’m gonna
make Monday morning my I’m gonna make
you Saturday Monday morning that’s what
I want to do every morning and that’s
what I want from you please take a step
back and think about how awesome it
actually is and then recognize that you
can attack the world in a totally
different way because you are lucky
enough to be born during this era the
only thing you have to believe in right
now is that humans are capable of
learning that humans for whatever reason
nature has chosen to not endow us with a
whole bunch of like pre-programmed
things so for instance a baby horse a
fool I believe is how you say that when
they’re born they can already walk
literally boom they come out and they’re
walking and all as well because that’s
all hardwired into them but a horse is a
horse is a horse and they’re gonna stay
a horse and that’s that and you’re never
gonna find a horse reading Chaucer just
not gonna happen
so that’s
all those decisions are pre-wired humans
on the other hand come out they cannot
take care of themselves they’re a lump
of flesh they basically know how to
suckle and that’s sort of the extent of
it but now humans have the ability to go
in all these crazy different directions
and they can learn to become an
astrophysicist they can learn to become
a carpenter a doctor or an astronaut
like the number of directions that
humans can go in is crazy the amount of
what was once known as junk DNA we now
know as epigenetic signaling the way
that we can respond in all these
different directions to our environment
to the things we choose to focus our
energies on is truly unique to humans is
is it just absolutely astonishing so
understanding that that’s baked into the
human animal is the ability to learn and
go in any direction so once you realize
that humans are adaptation machines that
we can learn anything now it’s like okay
whatever you want to do you can do it as
long as you’re willing to pay that price
I’m not saying that it’s not gonna be
hard it is gonna be very very hard I’m
just saying that it is doable and that
you will receive a return on investment
in your energies and that’s what people
need to know and believe to the core of
their being that my time in this
direction will be rewarded now here’s
where people themselves up there is this
retarded debate about whether or not it
is hey am i pre-programmed I’m good at
math and so that’s it and I should go do
things that are math or I’m good at
verbal and I should go do things that
are verbal I’m naturally gifted as an
athlete so I should go be an athlete
look I’m not saying people don’t get
early wins people get early wins and if
you happen to love the thing you’re
getting early wins and that’s awesome
man and you will find it just a little
bit easier you’ve got a head wind or a
tail whether that’s the tail wind you
have a tailwind and so that
love that but if they’re the thing that
gives you the most energy in life is
something that you have no natural
inclinations for think I learned that
when I say that I have zero zero natural
ability as an entrepreneur I mean zero I
had to learn everything from not being
lazy to problem solving to overcoming my
paralyzing fear to look at world like a
puzzle dealing with anxiety literally it
it was comical as I was going down my
journey in the beginning as an
entrepreneur to figure this out
it’s ridiculous and then I meet people
who are like ripping flowers out of
people’s front yards and selling them
back to them like when I say that that
was not me I had a paper route and I was
so chicken to go up to people’s doors
that I actually only got half the money
that I could have gotten for the same
paper route the same amount of effort
but because I was so afraid to go knock
on people’s doors and ask to collect the
money that was do that for like two
years I did a paper up for half the
money okay that’s how spastic of an
entrepreneur I was when I started so you
can learn this stuff now my goals
demanded that I learn entrepreneurship
so I learned it so that’s what I want
people to understand what is your goal
work backwards from there if it lines up
with what you’re naturally good at
that’s amazing and congratulations but
they’re gonna be times where it doesn’t
line up and you’ve just got a either
change your goal or recognize that I’m
any more and more intrigued by mindset
because I used to think of it as fluffy
like self-help and now I think in
momentum or as strategy what’s your
strategy in life somebody asked me on
instagram after I posted a scary if the
mindset has been skewed how can you
bring it back and I answered with by
surrounding yourself of people who have
the mindset you aspire to my friends
please understand that mindset is
controllable in the same way that all
our opinions are controllable the key is
to add more people with optimism and cut
people with negativity it’s very very
simple now it’s very hard to cut people
with pessimism cynicism and negativity
when they are the people that are the
closest to you parents siblings spouse
but the bottom line is if you’re asking
the question I’m gonna give you the
answer the answer is add more people
with positivity and optimism and cut
people with pessimism and cynicism who
you surround yourself matters what
content you consume matters I basically
suffocate myself for a long period of my
time and created an environment that was
based on offense and optimism and now I
know no different please do the same for
you make that move mold and I mean mold
your mindset by what you consume and
with whom you consume it I’m the kind of
person that believes you should always
make decisions with your heart and soul
you can use your brain for math you can
use your brain to look at the fine print
and a contract but when it comes to the
actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward and check it against
your heart and soul how do you do that
here’s the simple test does the decision
that you’re about to make expand you
expand your future or expand the
possibilities of your life if the answer
is yes then the decision is yes no
matter how terrifying it is if you
conversely look at the choice that you
have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way
then the answer is no no matter how easy
the decision is no matter how safe the
decision is the answer is no now one of
the things I want to point out that when
you start to use this does it expand or
does it shrink me
does it open possibilities or does it
keep things closed does it raise my
voice or does it silence me right is
that there’s always a short-term and a
long-term impact to the decision the
short-term impact to making an expansive
decision a decision that’s based in your
heart in your soul
sometimes it’s terrifying because
sometimes it means moving or it means
changing a job or changing a
relationship or having a difficult
conversation or starting something new
and those sorts of things are always
uncomfortable so brace for impact
put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you not what’s safe
in the moment find a situation where you
can be in the room with masters of a
craft and that could just be deal making
it could be joining a small company say
a fewer than 50 people or you simply get
to observe one of the principles
negotiating in an industry that you
don’t even care anything about right it
could be waste management and you want
to go into high tech but if you sit in a
room with someone who’s an absolute pro
at crafting deals negotiating getting
past know those skills and maybe those
relationships start to snowball all
right and this is what scott adams the
creator and Dilbert would call systems
thinking so instead of being wedded to
the outcome of a given job you are
accumulating skills and relationships
that transcend that job okay and if you
choose your environments well because as
I’ve said before and as people like Drew
the CEO of Dropbox as a friend have said
you’re the average of the five people
you associate with most
all right so if you take just a few
years have the patients a few years to
really develop core competencies that
allow you to craft your own reality and
life negotiation deal-making getting
past though etc learning how to pitch
how to get someone’s attention in 30
seconds so that you can then create the
desire and ultimately ask for some type
of action once you develop those then
you can really just create the map for
the next decade in the next several
decades so that would be it it would be
learned before you earn and it’s never
too late to do that so I don’t care if
you’re coming out of college coming at
high school 30 40 whatever it is
systems-thinking
focus on the skills and relationships
first and then you can just create a
blank check for how much money you want
to make if that is your goal so what you
want to do and this this Tony Robbins
asked this question I think it’s
absolutely brilliant how is the worst
thing that ever happened to me the best
thing that ever happened to me
so in your circumstance how is being in
a chaotic home life the best thing ever
now I’ll give you one example off the
top of my head and this is exactly why I
play first-person shooters can you learn
to stay calm in the chaos because my
friend have the chills if you can do
that it will serve you so well in every
single area of your life in a
relationship in business if you want to
be an athlete if you want to play games
like what ever it is that you do one of
the things that you’re gonna have to
become great at is letting all of the
noise drift away into nothing and
getting into laser focus on that thing
that you’re working on now when I give
advice like that to people they think
well how do I practice the amazing news
is the best thing
has ever happen to you is that you have
a built-in way to do that your home life
is mass chaos so now you get a chance to
practice I have the chills you get a
chance to practice every day tuning out
the chaos and getting laser focused on
something that’s framing now there are
other ways but that one is so powerful
that I will end it there focus on that
it is practice practice every day thank
god you’re living in this chaotic
environment man congratulations
whether it’s Jaco will Inc you mentioned
retired Navy SEAL commander used to be
in charge of all West Coast training for
the SEAL Teams which is intense highly
highly decorated weathers Jacko saying
discipline equals freedom or you look at
say some of the writers or musicians or
directors or others in the book across
pretty much all of them you find that
they find freedom in constraints so what
does that mean sounds kind of weird it
also sounds very sounds like an oxymoron
right and what I mean by that is all of
these people have routines they have set
recipes that they repeat on a daily and
weekly basis so that they are not making
a lot of extraneous decisions about
mundane things and they also recognize
that we all have our less ourselves our
impulses I love chocolate croissants if
there were if I left my entire schedule
to whim I would just eat chocolate
croissants all day long I love them
they’re incredible and I still do have
them well it’s a week I have my cheat
day and I’m allowed to do what I want so
I let my monkey mind and my lesser self
just go nuts
but these people all have typically
these and these are folks we might be
inclined to think of as superheroes and
maybe Jacko’s super April but the vast
majority have one or two strengths they
may not even be the best in the world
but one or two strengths they combine in
a really unique way and they build
habits around those strengths
and then they have a thousand other
weaknesses but the habits and routines
are what helped them from going off the
rails and this is really encouraging
this should be really encouraging
because the people we see on magazine
covers that we might idolize and feel we
could never possibly emulate because
they have it all figured out
they’d have no insecurities they wake up
every morning and with a mental karate
chops they just master the day that’s
not how it works I know these people
almost everyone in this book certainly
on the podcast have become friends with
hundreds of these people not true they
have tons of not everyone I don’t speak
for everyone but tons of neuroses tons
of terrible self-defeating habits and
the safety that they create is habits
and routines that’s why jaakko in part
says discipline equals freedom okay so
you have trouble waking up in the
morning no problem you want to stage it
this is something Jocko does takes his
clothing prepares gets this sort of
coffee ready to brew clothing on the
floor for the workout right next to his
bed prepared the night before so there
are no decisions there are no
opportunities to make mistakes
between him opening his eyes and jakka
working out and you find this across
everybody
every single morning Monday through
Fridays at 9:00 a.m. I host a live
call-in radio show on Sirius satellite
radio it’s called make it happen with
Mel Robbins and the thing that’s been so
crazy about that show is every single
person that calls me on that show they
call in because they’re feeling stuck in
their lives and they’re resigned about
their ability to change their lives and
I’m not talking about people that are
nuts I’m talking about successful people
like you and me that just somehow got
stuck in their lives and I’m not talking
about people that are looking for cheesy
self-help
I’m talking about people that really
want to figure out how to move
themselves forward and you know I find
that so many of us think that our dreams
are unreachable or unrealistic and it’s
just so sad I mean people think that
their dreams disappear and if that’s
what you think congratulations you’re
officially stuck and the truth is that
our dreams are always there and they
don’t ever give up on us we give up on
them but here’s the secret if you just
force yourself and I mean force because
I know damn well none of you want to do
anything about this and I also know
you’re sitting there like yeah the
self-help crap this isn’t for me but if
you just force yourself to take a couple
small steps there’s always a surprise
I’m not gonna stare at you stare at your
past and you’ll end up staying there
it’s okay to look back and admire it but
you carry on I’m not I’m not in the
business of staring staring back at it
you know what I mean I’m getting lost
back there it’s people say you can
people say a loss can make a break a
fighter but trust me a win can also make
a break a fire because they get
comfortable with it with a win people
can get comfortable with it with a win
and and and slack off then slack off on
the train and slack off on the diet
they’ve won one they’re winners now
that’s not me you know you sleep on a
you sleep on a win and you’ll wake up
with a loss so I just carry on keep
doing what I’m doing and that’s why
these turnaround is so good for me
Vegas straight away the Fighting Irish
head to the fighting capital
it’s perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top
how many times have you had somebody say
to you or have you got a minute Bob we
got a minute
they don’t want a minute would you think
about that I read a poem one time it
said I have only just a minute only 60
seconds and it was forced upon me I
can’t refuse that I didn’t seek and I
didn’t choose it but it’s up to me to
use it I must suffer if I lose it give a
count if I abuse it it’s only a tiny low
a minute but eternity is in it validity
rate I thought I’m gonna put this on a
video I just want to share it with
everybody just this one little part out
of the seminar I’m making I want you to
look at this Sam timer and let this I
want you to think about your life the
sand in the top of the glass represents
the future the sand and the bottom of
the glass represents the past now do you
know we know what’s in the past and
younger we can’t do anything about it
do you know what the trick is you don’t
know how much sands in the top of the
glass you may think you have a lot you
might only have a little then again you
may think you have a little and you
might have a lot when I was a little boy
I was raised by my grandmother and I
don’t know when I was little gaffer’s
she was probably 60 but as long as I
could remember RAM would say I’ll soon
begun there I’ll soon be gone well you
know we loved her she was really an
angel of God but we thought she was
never gonna go she lived to be 94 for
30-some years I’ll soon be gone she
didn’t think she had much time left she
had 34 years left now about the same
time I had a buddy of mine Bob Yates he
was just 16 and bang he run into the
abutment of a ridge and his life was
snuffed out if you had asked him a
half-hour before how much sand you had
left he would have said at least a half
a century he didn’t ever happen
see the trick is we don’t know how much
sand we have left the future we don’t
know the past it’s gone now the only
thing you can deal with is what’s right
here right now
and if you look the sand is always
moving now think of this you see I was
working on that and then I was working
on a graph I’ve got here at my computer
and I’m thinking at the time somebody
said to him you got a minute
well they don’t really want a minute do
you know if you’re running fifty
thousand dollars a year a minutes 42
cents a half-hour is $12.50 if we take
that ahead of it if you’re earning
$80,000 a year a minute sixty-seven
cents half hours $20 yearning a hundred
and fifty thousand dollars a year got a
minute and it cost you a dollar
twenty-five a minute now half hours
thirty seven dollars and fifty cents so
you see if somebody said you want to
stop for a cup of coffee
well if you’re earning a quarter of a
million dollars a year a minute is two
dollars and eight cents half hours
$62.50 and and of course you’ve got the
coffee to pay for on top of that so you
see the point is this this is all we’ve
got right here right now we don’t know
how much we have left in the future but
we do know what we’ve got now and I have
found the people that win are the people
who make up their mind they’re not gonna
waste the minutes they’re gonna be
productive they’re gonna make it happen
every men failure is part of life I mean
the difference for me though is I like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that messed me
but I show people that didn’t want to
stop me and you only to stop you and I
think I think that’s really the secret
matter and if everything you touch was
successful relate to people’s money and
also its be total bullsh and everyone
know it’s cool and also you’d be bored
silly I mean think about it if you just
said I want this to happen I want this
to happen
you know people don’t value what they
don’t fight for you know it’s like you
see kids sometimes in it you know your
parents will say you’re not gonna value
this if you don’t work for it and you’re
keeping going value just give it to me
but it’s true you know about things
we’ve worked the hardest for we value
the most so I think you know the purpose
of the goal is not getting it anyway the
purpose of goal you know is what who you
become will you becomes gonna make you
happier who’s gonna make you sad so I’m
not looking for an effortless approach
thank you so superior and my knowledge
is so positive I’m watching
so was until the clashes with the
mentality which is down here and I’m
both there for her I can see buoyancy
farther than you and you’re looking at
mrs. Holly don’t do it
please tell me when you’re hurt and you
want a job making 60 70 pounds a week
[Music]
the country it’s not known in his own
neighborhood Valley don’t do it but I’m
in such a high level until I don’t think
like you I’m not like you I’m not saying
you I mean that on your person but you
do you know why they say that
thanks for the possible reasons they
have fear and they are wearing looks
looks dangerous to them that’s not
really they’re dangerous to me where
most people go they get into an endless
loop of self punishment which is totally
ineffective but if you don’t learn to
punish yourself you will never get where
you want to go now that needs to pale in
comparison to the amount of time that
you reward yourself they need to earn
that reward if you’re just lavishing
yourself with emotional praise and you
haven’t done anything then I think that
that will cheapen it it will ultimately
mean nothing and quite frankly I don’t
think you can really been boozled
yourself I don’t think if you try to
praise yourself for stupid I think some
part of you knows that you haven’t done
anything to deserve that praise but when
you set a bar and you meet that or
exceed that to then tell yourself hey
you did it you said you were gonna do it
you did it and that is worthy of praise
and getting good at praising yourself is
incredibly important and I think that
most people have a very hard time doing
both most people don’t know how to
effectively praise themselves they don’t
know how to get themselves first of all
to do things that are praiseworthy and
then when they do they don’t take the
time to emotionally reward themselves
meaning you actually to feel it
it can’t just be intellectual you’ve got
to actually feel that
and the same with punishment if you say
you’re gonna do something even if
nobody’s watching and you don’t do it
then you need to emotionally punish
yourself none of you will ever know
whether I actually get out of bed in ten
minutes or less or not but I say I do
all the time but every time I miss it
even if I miss it by seconds I just gave
myself two chills even if I miss it by
second
I will punish myself for that because I
said I was gonna do it and I didn’t do
it so the fact that nobody’s watching is
utterly irrelevant to me it has
everything to do with myself now the
reason that this is important the reason
that I think that people need to do this
is because that’s how you shape your
behavior so like water over time can
greed create the Grand Canyon or you can
take a polishing rock and shape stones
you can shape your personality you can
certainly shape your identity and shape
your behaviors if you learn how to
reward and punish yourself I know a lot
of people don’t want to hear that that
is the truth of the human condition it’s
hard changing your life it was hard when
just over three years ago in the
Penobscot Building in Detroit Michigan
where I was operating my business and I
fell on some hard times and I was
sleeping in my office
it was hard coming into the lobby and
the security said scuse me mr. Brown can
we see you for a moment and I said yes
and I walked up to the counter and he
gave me an envelope and he said would
you mind reading it here and I opened
the envelope and the envelope was from
management that says this is an office
tower it’s not a hotel please do not
sleep in your office and I said excuse
me sir I said I just worked long hours
and creating my business I’m an
entrepreneur and right now things are
bad for me but they’re not going to be
this way always and I just asked for the
opportunity to continue to operate like
I’m doing I’m not trying to make this my
home and it was hard coming through the
lobby and sometimes they would laugh
there’s a guy talking about becoming
successful and look at him he’s bathing
in the bathroom upstairs on the 21st
floor he sleeps on the floor him and two
other dreamers up there look at him it
was hard ladies and gentlemen coming to
speak to people
and I was facing financial difficulties
in my own life I was behind on my bills
and my dreams and I’m saying to them you
can live your dream it was hard ladies
and gentlemen it was very difficult to
pick myself up each day believing that I
can do it there were times that I
doubted myself I said God why why is
this happening to me I’m just trying to
take care of my children and my mother
I’m not trying to steal a Rob from
anybody how did this have to happen to
me it was very hard and here’s what I
want to say to you for those of you that
have experienced some hardships don’t
give up on your dream no one could have
convinced me by holding on by continuing
to push forward by continuing to run
toward my dream that one day I would
have my own talk show
it’s a longshot ladies and gentlemen
from Liberty City an abandoned building
order floor never annoying my mother
father it’s a long shot being here with
you today in this dome in Atlanta it’s a
long shot no college training labeled
educable mentally retarded but I kept
think that there’s a certain delusional
quality that all successful people have
to have you have to believe that
something different than what has
happened for the last 52 million years
of history you have to believe that
something different can happen it’s
almost a kind of innocence absolutely in
other words if you knew how difficult it
was right you would have never gone down
that path absolute you know if I was
somebody said to Olly no one can beat
this guy he’s this much stronger is this
much bigger he’s got that much bigger
punch than you do and he believed that
he would have said never have an
innocent somehow absolutely and I think
they dead that’s a huge part of me
because and I say to my friends all the
time and we laugh about it I truly
honestly as I sit here before you right
now as honestly as I can say it to you I
truly believe that I could be the
president if I wanted to and as bizarre
as that may sound to people that have
traveled the path before me and to
people who actually know how difficult
it is foolish Will Smith honestly
believes it’s very difficult to start
companies and quite painful I think
that’s important to bear in mind I don’t
that’s that’s probably not encouraging
leave this way if you need inspiring
woods don’t do it and I believe and I
learned very young from parents from my
parents absolutely that you you don’t
try to build a wall you don’t set out to
build a wall you don’t say I’m gonna
bake this build the biggest baddest
greatest wall that’s ever been built you
don’t start there you say I’m gonna lay
this brick as perfectly as a brick can
be laid there will not be one brick on
the face of the earth that’s gonna be
laid better than this brick that I’m
gonna lay in this next ten minutes and
you do that every single day it’s so you
know as soon you have a wall and I think
psychologically the advantage that that
gives me over over a lot of people that
I have been in competition with in
different situations is too difficult to
take the first step when you look how
big yeah the task is the task is never
huge to me it’s always and but by that I
mean just the fundamentals of logic you
know of do you have the right axioms are
they’re relevant and are you making the
right conclusions based on those on
those axioms that that’s the essence of
critical thinking and yet it is amazing
how often people fail to do that
I think wishful thinking is innate in
the human brain you you want things to
be the way you you were sent to be an so
you tend to filter information that you
shouldn’t filter that’s the most common
flaw that I see
this will be the biggest upset since
Sonny Liston and I think it is befitting
that I go out of boxing just like I came
in defeating a big bad monster that
nobody could destroy a hard punch I’m
the underdog if he hits me I’m in
trouble like the Sonny Liston fight but
I came back and I shook the world and I
got listed Nass ten years since Sonny
Liston I’m eating another big bad strong
monster
knockout artist that beats everybody
Sonny Liston knocked out Patterson twice
and I was supposed to fall but he did
not me out because he could hit hard but
he couldn’t find me yet George Foreman
dr. Ken Norton knocked out Joe Frazier
true I didn’t knock him out but I’m so
fast and so hard he looks so scientific
I’m a totally different man from Frazier
Norton listen David when I meet this man
if you think the world was surprised
when Nixon resigned wait till I with
full moons behind
[Applause]
I’m telling you David I’m down with 215
pounds right now said he went to 15 I’m
five weight already I’ll use a trained
six weeks for fight I’ve trained for
months or so I’m chopping trees I’ve
done something special I’ve wrestled
tussle what a whale out of handcuffs
lightning
throw thunder in jail now you know I’m
bad only last week I murdered a rock
into the stone hospitalized a brick I’m
so mean I make medicine sick
and strangers change can be there were
times when it was hard to imagine that
my life would be what it is today
especially the time when my son and I
were living in that bathroom maybe
remember that scene in the movie there
was a highly polished sheet metal piece
over a sink it wasn’t a mirror but it
served as a mirror and I had to wash
myself in that baby every day watch my
baby in this sink and had to ask myself
some very predictable questions what
happened why did this happen why did
that happen but the most difficult
question I had to get through was how
did I get here
and the answer was even more brutal the
answer was I drove here I had something
to do with it you can’t change something
until you own it so if you’re 50 plus
and you’re sitting out there and
pointing fingers at other people you can
do that for a long time but it’s hard to
look in the mirror and say how did I get
here and have the answer be I drove here
I had something to do with it it’s
uncomfortable to admit that well I made
some bad decisions I made some
investments I shouldn’t have made I had
something to do with it well that man
sold me that house with no money down I
should have told him what he could do at
that house huh when I signed that
adjustable rate mortgage we all know
these things only adjust upwards no
one’s ever gonna call you and say guess
what
you go pay less for your money your
house next year angle happen so the idea
of I drove here is empowering because
the other side of it is if I drove here
that means I can drive out of here I
have to own it and that bathroom I
finally had to understand what my mama
used to say to me where she would say
boy to Calvary is not coming ain’t no
back up I was 28 years old when that
part of my life happened change was
coming fast and you know what changes
everywhere all the time social change
technical logical change and the most
potent of all personal change the most
urgent question today is not so much as
one of my values and who are we the
urgent question on these times of
constant changes how exactly are you
going to navigate these new realities put another way what are you going to do
Please follow and like us: