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can either live your dreams or live your
fears and I think the majority of people
actually are not living their dreams but
a living their fears so I want to ask
you a question
what are your fears what are you afraid
of what are you scared of because we all
have fears don’t we we all have
something that’s blocking us that’s
holding us back and as we begin to look
at life what we realize is that the
reason that most people are not living
out their true potential and not doing
all of the things that they would really
like to do it’s because of fear some
people called fear false evidence or
expectations appearing real a reminded
of the story of a guy that was living in
an area where he had some new neighbors
and these neighbors had a bulldog and
when he came home every day this Bulldog
used to chase him about a half a block
from his house every day he would have
to streak home I mean he was just run
this bulldog be right on his heels and
so he just got tired of that because he
would go home at about a half a block
away from home he would look around for
this Bulldog and he would see and he
would go walking casually long and his
Bulldog come out of nowhere well it’s
not chasing him here to run home so this
one day he just got tired and so when
the Bulldog was running after and he
started running he saw a rock and he
stopped to pick it up to throw out the
Bulldog and when the Bulldog got up
warned him he’s thought Bucky he
realized the Bulldog didn’t have any
then he’s not chasing the Bulldog and
you don’t get overweight with the bows
the Bulldog could have done is gum you
know I and so you know what most people
go through life running scared running
scared from things that have no teeth in
them because they’re false expectations
appearing real let’s see we’re brilliant
enough to scare ourselves to death you
realize that there are some people
actually who’ll get a kick out of
scaring themselves to death I remember
the last frightening movie I saw it was
the Exorcist I will never forget I was
so frightened when I came home I’ll
never forgot drove in the driveway and I
had already called my former wife and
said listen turn the lights on I was
coming in the driveway and I was getting
out of the car and all of a sudden I
couldn’t get out of so I’ll blow my horn
I said ma’am when they got me there
Gabby she came to the kitchen when I
okay I was right out of my wits but
there are a lot of people who think you
know for that love I’m a person not my
brother is a paratrooper my twin brother
he’s in the military career man I would
love to jump out of an airplane to
pierce you I’m scared though I mean I
really admire my brother for that I
would really love to be macho man like
that what are the things that you fear
that’s been keeping you from living your
dream that’s been keeping you from doing
some things that you would like to do
just think about those things and how do
we begin to handle that Abraham Maslow
said that the life is about growth and
he said you could either go back to your
comfort zone and there you won’t find
any growth or you must Willie be willing
to go forward and face your fears again
and again and again because you’re never
going to have a fear free existence I
mean some fear is acceptable and
legitimate there are some things that
you you really should be afraid of now
you shouldn’t allow it to immobilize you
you acknowledge it you take it into
account and you carry yourself
accordingly there are times that we
should proceed with caution
but it’s the difference between being
stopped by fear it’s the difference
between having a fear and the fear
having you so what do we do one
acknowledging and knowing that it’s okay
don’t condemn yourself for being afraid
it’s perfectly fine to have some fears
you acknowledge your fears you embrace
those fears and then you move on you act
on whatever it is that you fear because
once you embrace it see what you resist
will persist what you resist will
persist so one of the most important
things is is to begin to embrace your
fear the fear of bodily harm that’s
legitimate when I was a disc jockey in
Columbus Ohio you know I was young about
22 23 I thought I was tough
and I was on the air and Al Green who
was a great performer at that time and
still is now now singing gospel music
had a record his first hit record was
backup train so a guy came in the town
and was impersonating Al Green I
happened to know al green because I’d
already booked him and so when I found
out this guy was impersonating algorri I
came on the air and did an editorial
about it and I exposed him he was rather
big fellow and so he had the word out
that when I see this guy let’s brown the
disc jockey I’m a knockin my mouth with
having a big mouth so I was driving down
Main Street in Columbus Ohio had my son
in a car and I always had this little
saying hey if anybody able to put a
threat on me imma make him honor it so I
saw this guy on the street side pull
around I say excuse me I’ll be right
back got out of the car hey man I heard
you said that you were looking for me
I’m les Brown
he said you are say yeah I said what is
it I’m the one that said that you were
an imposter
I said I want to know what you’re gonna
do about it he open his coat he had a
gun there I say but whatever I said to
acknowledge your fear scare yourself
accordingly and do what makes sense for
you well one major fear I’ve always had
is a fear of dentists and this fear had
me I didn’t have that fear and what
really and foot reinforced it you got to
watch things that can feed your fear I
saw a movie that most people would not
remember this movie was starring Dustin
Hoffman skal the Marathon Man with
Laurence Olivier when he’s trying to get
a confession out of here and he took
this drill out let me tell you someone
he went in Duffman Hoffman’s mouth with
that drill I had a dollar worth of
popcorn that pop go with everyone do you
know I could not go to the dentist for
five years I had left broadcasting went
to the Ohio legislature had an impacted
wisdom tooth now that hurts and I would
call and soon as the people wouldn’t
answer the phone I would hang up
that’s not frighten about dr. Hamlin
office boom out here then I got to the
point where I could just ask for an
appointment hello and I wouldn’t give my
real name because I knew I would go keep
it
I’d give anybody as they Joe jiggle Jim
it is better the pretty son I got to the
point where I could give my name it was
about four years after that you know so
my name is les Ryan then I would call
back and say look here due to my
legislative agenda I won’t be able to
make it so the lady finally said on
phone said you’re scared aren’t you
I said no I’m not she said then why
don’t you come in I says none of your
business
she said you’re not coming in because
you’re scared I wish you just would not
waste our time and she hung up I said
you have no right to do that to people
like me you know
so finally it’ll make a long this short
I thought I was hurting so bad it’s a
way to man I’ve got to do something and
I said what am I afraid of go there and
handle that’s it man I said dr. Hamill I
just can’t hear this drill I mean if you
can do whatever I just don’t I don’t
need to hear this drill this drill that
sound you know that’s to what gets me
that drill don’t pull that drill out on
me you say just calm down Connor and it
wasn’t really bad as I thought it was
one of the things you find out that when
you face your fears is not as bad as you
think it is and when people tell you I
just can’t do that I can’t handle I mean
really really I can’t have it what
they’re envisioning is that they’re not
going to be if they’re gonna clock out
like you’re going to die guess what we
all that occasions when we confronted
our fears we had to do something we felt
uncomfortable with we didn’t want to do
it and we did not die they didn’t come
take us and put us in a box somewhere
and all right
so what we’ve got to begin to do how do
we handle that what’s the process
because it’s all up in here one I think
is imagine the worst-case scenario I
just imagine that he went in my mouth
and with this drill and that I just
then I imagine that’s the worst case
scenario then I had another technique I
used visualize yourself being more than
able and capable of handling it and I
used to have a tremendous inferiority
complex about speaking before people
that I felt who had more going for them
than I did because I’m not college
trained I used to feel that college
people were the most intelligent people
on the planet and there was nothing I
had to say for them and what would I
what will they listen to me for that’s
the way I felt and so I had to visualize
myself speaking before them speaking
before various audiences it had more
going for them than I did and realize
and appreciate my own value and that I
was a worthwhile person even though I
didn’t have all going for me I didn’t
have the money I didn’t have the
education that they had so part of the
process is seeing yourself being worthy
being capable having what you need to
make your worthwhile person and that
you’re more than able and that you
deserve to be listened to or you deserve
to have that dream and that passion and
whatever it is that you see and envision
there you’ve got to see it in your
mind’s eye and know that you’ve got what
it takes repeat after me please
I must see and my mind’s eye see myself
confronting my fears handling my fears
I’m more than able shake somebody’s hand
on your right and left and say you got
so deciding as you look at your life as
you look into the future and say what
fears am i holding on to what fears that
I’m a lying to imprison me that’s
keeping me from breaking out that’s
keeping me from living up to my true
potential that’s keeping me from really
being happy that’s keeping me from
having a sense of adventure and
excitement in my life what’s what’s
keeping me from controlling my destiny
what fears and I’m giving that
permission to notice what I said that we
must give our permission to fear to
immobilize us because whatever
discomfort you experience whatever
challenges a difficulty that it is you
got to handle it got to go up in there
and wrestle with it will it be easy no
will it be challenging yes friend of
mine who’s going into recovery
he’s been addicted to crack cocaine for
years and alcohol he was talking about
how challenging it was and why he was
dreading going on going into cold turkey
I said what do you want me to tell you
that it’s going to be a picnic no it’s
not
it’s gonna kick your butt yes it is are
you gonna want to die yes yes that’s a
part of it but that’s just what you must
go through in order to get where you
want to go and guess what you are strong
enough to do it you’re strong enough and
your life is worth whatever you have to
go through to get past this addiction
whatever you have to do this dream
you’ve got whatever you want to do will
it be easy to just run out then do it no
will it happen overnight now will it be
a struggle yes will there be times when
you can’t make ends meet yes that’s a
part of it will be times you won’t know
to do yes that’s a part of it will you
have some opposition will things go
wrong sometimes you will have many
visits from Murphy now if you’re saying
somebody must have told us someplace
along the line I don’t know where but
somebody must have told people Oh life
is gonna be real easy if they told you
that I’ve got a special announcement
they lied I don’t forget I had a special
piece of legislation I wanted to get
passed and I said to a guy’s looking can
I count on your vote he said yes and
look here if I can’t count on to let me
know this another guy that owes midship
and I can call on that and I want need
your vote but I do need it if you say
you’re going to do it do it you say you
can count on it legislation came up he
voted against my bill my bill passed I
went back to hey I told you I needed the
vote but if you couldn’t give it up let
me know I would get somebody else and
was in shock how many of you that life
just wore you out that you didn’t expect
that you thought you go to school get
good grades get a job and you came out
here you’ll be able to get a job a
little happily ever after you say they
never told me you know that songs that
mama told me there’d be days like
then even tell us that is that something
about life is challenging I mean it’s
some stuff you get out of here you
didn’t read it in a book nowhere then
nobody warned you that it was gonna come
down on you like this
it’s called life there are kind of
challenges like that so what’s the next
piece is that you accept yourself then
you accept the fear as a fact and not a
force so when you accept yourself and
you accept fear as a fact that means
that it’s something that happens it’s
something that you’re going to
experience but it is not a force to hold
you back it doesn’t have any special
power other than that that you give it
so you accept the fact that you are
afraid and then you move on anyhow you
move on past it and you do whatever
you’ve got to do I was at a big
motivational rally for gentleman by the
name of Dexter Jaeger down in the
Carolinas I was standing backstage and I
had to go out I was the last speaker on
the program it’s the first time I’d been
in a stadium of this size over 10,000
people you couldn’t see the people
because the lights are just blaring in
your eyes called free enterprise day I
was afraid my heart was beating fast
I’ll just pacing back and forth and
Dexter said are you all right I said
yeah cisely wait a bit just calm down
calm yourself oh the older it’s alright
less it’s all right all right just be as
scared as you can be so as I say embrace
that fear just try and see how scared
you can really get and sabri ladina so
the guy came back and said are you bout
to die so I said no fine but after I
started embracing it and trying to make
myself as afraid as I can get and
imagine what’s the worst thing that I
can go out there do my mind go Blake and
I played on stage
but what I start laughing at myself I
start talking about so say you know you
scared today and I said I just calmed
myself down and I went I’d and I cooked
and that’s what you got to do I had
another experience where I was at a
major corporation and I was it was one
of my first major presentations I was
going to do for this corporation and I
had four other presenters that had large
firms and one of the things that you’ve
got to do is you’ve got to watch your
inner conversation and discipline your
thinking and your imagination because if
you don’t your mind will take you on a
wild trip so my mind said hey les I said
what this guy’s gonna wipe you out you
can’t compete with them because I heard
these guys sitting over across from me
and they were talking about all that
they had going for them and so I started
doubting myself and I became afraid and
I was thinking well maybe I shouldn’t go
in there
and so I knew then and this is what I
suggest to you sometimes you got to talk
to yourself talking to yourself you know
could be a good exercise might be the
only intelligent conversation you ever
get so I got up and I were in the
bathroom and I started talking to myself
said last time let me tell you something
what do you care about these guys and
their firms and all their money you’ve
got six children you’ve got to feel
you got a mama you got to take care of
I want that room a look to those people
I said don’t you do nothing tell you
hear from me
so when you have your lower self talking
to you telling you what you can’t do
part of what you’ve got to do is be your
own motivator you can you can’t talk
casually to yourself you can’t stare uh
sit down you must calm down now that’s
unconscious matter we all hear that
you’ve got to have a good conversation
to you say hey and answer yourself –
don’t pity people in attention you
answer yourself hey what you undo I’m
going in get off all right very good go
ahead and take care busy you’ve got to
talk to yourself and you build yourself
up and you’ll feel your energy level
coming up and people will feel that
around you see now if you go through
life being afraid people can sense that
they can pick up that fear so that’s why
you’ve got to stand up inside yourself
I’m reminded of a little boy that was on
a bus and and some bigger fellows who
were picking at him you know and so he
wanted to move from by them they were
thumping you on the head and so he stood
up just to get from by them and they
would push him back down and he would
stand up again they’d push him back down
and he stood up again they pushed him
down held him down he said you might
hold me down but I’m standing up inside
see when you are not filling your life
with the things that you are capable of
doing so we all have some stuff that
we’ve been given and I don’t think that
it’s optional for us to sit on what we
have see if you’re sitting on what you
have what you’ve been given I think
everybody’s been given something to
bring to the planet that only you can do
that only you can perform that only you
can initiate that activity and if you
don’t do that if you’re not filling in
your life with your life work or your
mission then there are gaps in your life
and what we do when we’re not living out
our true identity we begin to fill the
gaps we fill the holes with garbage
alcohol drugs worry self-destructive
behavior so when you begin to look at
your life and you know that that you’re
not doing what you can do because you
have allowed yourself to be held captive
by your fears
now when you don’t have a true
appreciation and acceptance for who you
are and you allow yourself to be
immobilized by fear what happens in the
process is that you begin to abuse
yourself you begin to sabotage your life
you begin to sabotage your dreams you
begin to unconsciously work against
yourself you become your own worst enemy
so what do you do about that well you
you begin to realize that your dream and
your gifts have so much meaning and so
much value for you till your hunger for
them will begin to push you past the
fear your hunger to have them will give
you a special Drive as you work on
yourself as you begin to acknowledge
your true identity the true power that
you have the true capacity you have to
bring about change the miracle-working
power that you have within yourself to
do the things that you want to do when
you take them on I’m reminded of a man
who
this gentleman was doing a special study
of a special tribe in Africa headhunters
and he had difficulty in developing a
relationship with these tribesmen
because of the fact that he had fear
yeah fear they would take his head a day
all fears aren’t bad I was a legitimate
fear that’s a good for you to give you a
headache so he worked there for a long
time with no effort no progress in
developing relationship and rapport and
being able to achieve a level of trust
so finally one night while he was in bed
he was thinking about said what what is
it that you came here to do what is your
life work as a missionary he said I
wanted to study these tribesmen so
what’s the worst thing that they can do
to you kill you and he just decided hey
this is what I came here to do I know
that there’s some risk involved and I’m
gonna do it come what may he said I’m
not gonna be afraid anymore he went back
the next day and he started doing the
work and trying to talk to and interview
many of the members of this tribe and
they began to respond to him they threw
out the welcome mat to him and years
later when people came to see what his
progress was they asked him how were you
able to do this how did you convert the
relationship from being a hostel to that
of being positive and he said something
I think has value for all of us
he said when life can no longer threaten
you with death I said what else is there
what else is there and the majority of
the fears that we have are not life or
death fears and not those kind of fears
but through our imagination we blow them
out of proportion and we give them more
power than they actually have or deserve
and we permit them to govern our lives
we permit them to determine how far we
can
stretch out on our dreams and
discovering our stuff and as we begin to
look at ourselves and begin to wait a
minute just getting to the point as you
assess yourself in and begin to prove
yourself and just the way whole of men
hold a minute I’ve been sweating this
out what can what’s the worst thing that
can happen to me on this will it kill me
will I die what why am I going through
all of these changes over this how much
power does this really have and am I the
one that’s feeding the power into it
said a lot of times we we allow
ourselves to be fed and to be
programming to to being afraid of you
watch the news and read the newspaper
you’ll be scared to come out the house
am i right you’ll be afraid so what
kinds of things what kinds of thoughts
are you feeding your consciousness what
kind of things are you putting in your
mind that will enable you to either move
forward or to justify why you’re staying
where you are another piece that I look
at that when I finally decided that I
was going to go to the dentist pain was
so great I couldn’t hold out any longer
all of a sudden it fit it better I can’t
but take me not some people need fear
you know have a friend that that we
Tolan hey man you know you need to lose
some weight
you gettin overweight and out of shape
and at our age we need to have a regular
program and bud said man I’ve been fat
since I lowboy um you know I’m big-boned
I’ve never seen a fat skeleton though
yeah well bud became ill how many of you
ever see the best kills and right here
all right but became ill passed out and
I was there and the doctor was talking
to him and but I think was going to go
right back to say Moe eating habits and
doing everything you know they look here
you are a diabetic and said now here are
some of the side effects you know you
could go blind you can become
an amputee none of that touched him he
said you can become impotent he said
what did you say his lost weight he
exercises every day he’s in the body
sculpture 48 years young he looks great
I can’t believe but just that one
statement made all the difference in the
world but is a new man today so what is
it that has to happen to you some people
don’t take corrective measures to
improve their health until they get a
pronouncement that they’re about to die
then they start okay all right I’m ready
to do whatever you want me to do but
they won’t do that they can see people
drop it off like flies around them well
we go through life really blocking
ourselves constantly and fear is one of
the the greatest instruments that we
could use to stifle our true potential
when you begin to to look at your life
you can decide to use fear as a blocker
or you can decide to use it as building
blocks that you decide hey look here I’m
going to move in this direction I’m not
going to allow anything to stop me from
doing what I want to do we shake
somebody’s hand on your right and left
see when you begin to understand and
acknowledge of fear and you go forth
anyhow
you go forth in a spirit and unknowing
that there’s a way that you can begin to
handle this there’s a way out here
somewhere there’s a solution what it is
that you’re seeking that you have the
capacity to whatever comes up to handle
it to face it and rather than feeling
powerless you begin to feel powerful see
when all of the major downsizings that
are taking place around this country
there are a lot of people who are biting
their fingers and fear that they might
lose their jobs but there are few people
who have decided within themselves I’m
going to make it some people aren’t
waiting to be cut some people are moving
on their own because they feel within
themselves I’ve got what it takes to
make it they’re not afraid about
tomorrow because of how they see
themselves because of what they feel
that they deserve because of what they
feel that they can create for themselves
because these people have decided as
they look at the future as they look at
themselves there’s a way where there’s a
will there’s a way for me to begin to
create a way out of no way and when you
have that kind of consciousness when you
have that kind of spirit nothing can
stop you
nothing what would your life be like as
you look toward the future if you
decided I’m not going to allow my fears
to stop me what would your life be like
what would your future be like if you
decided to to want that which you desire
so strongly that it prepares you past
your fears that you experienced a fear
as the one book says feel the
fear and do it anyway what would your
life be like and I’m saying to you that
all of us who have been in tuned by fear
have the capacity to resurrect ourselves
and to resurrect our dreams all of us
and you have is it easy no it’s not easy
can I do it yes what’s one of the ways
to get started some of us need somebody
to hold our hands sometimes we need
somebody to help us out be willing to
say I don’t know be willing to reach out
be willing to get some assistance to
take you to the next level of what great
athlete you never expect boxes to make
profound statements I think it was Joe
Frazier who said this one he says all of
us are like the blind man at some point
in our lives standing on the corner
waiting for somebody to lead us across
see all of us at some point in our lives
need some help need someone to reach out
to us to thrive the lifeline to help us
go cross some treacherous waters that we
couldn’t navigate by ourselves none of
us do it by ourselves all of us at some
point of our lives we need that kind of
help we need that kind of assistance
because we grow from the people we have
in our lives that can enrich our lives
personally professionally spiritually
and all the dimensions of our lives we
don’t grow in a vacuum so you look at
yourself whatever fears you have that
maybe you need some help and
strengthening yourself in that area as
you assess your strengths and your
weaknesses as you begin to approve
yourself and your passions and your
dreams and your goals and the things
that you want if you decide to
experience all of your true potential as
you decide to manifest all of your
greatness as you decide wait a minute
what what else is available to me out
here if I decided to experience the fear
of rejection the fear of no the fear of
failure the fear of standing by myself
what else is available of taking a
chance of fear of losing it all what
else is available to me that will bring
some extra meaning and value the fear of
people not liking me you know how many
people do things they don’t want to do
because they want everybody to like them
everybody’s not good at like you excuse
me special announcement everybody’s not
going to like you know that’s it’s just
not that kind of world what but you know
that a lot of people who won’t take
positions on issues who won’t take a
stand for things they believe in who
won’t speak up for themselves because
they don’t want to make anybody mad oh
it was Bill Cosby he said I don’t know
what the secret of success is he said
but here’s what I know what the secret
of failures he said trying to please
everybody you can’t please everybody but
they’re people who have the fear of
rocking the boat so then just go alone
in life just go along well no how do you
feel well I don’t really want to say how
many of you know people I get raise your
head these people are living life
they’re not truly experiencing life what
do you really want to do well I don’t
like this but I guess I’ll go ahead on
and do know the life is too short for
that too short and unpredictable
moseying through not trying to disturb
anything not trying to shake anything up
not trying to make any waves you see
there are some people who who come
through the universe in their level of
contribution and the level of energy
they manifest is so small so
inconspicuous that when they go you
won’t even know they left I mean they’re
people who died on jobs and and you say
where’s John Oh jump and did six months
you’re kidding is that right I didn’t
know well I guess we did miss but there
are some people because of their
personality because of their
contribution because of their the
investment of their time and their
energy and the impact they have their
that when they go everybody will miss
them so when Mother Teresa checks out
everybody will know when Rosa Parks
everybody will know Nelson Mandela
everybody will know what because of
their contribution see but there’s some
people because their contribution is so
small no one will care
some saying before you are boxed and
buried decide that you’re going to box
and bury your fears decide that you’re
going to begin to live life on a new
level seeking out new horizons that you
were to find more love and more joy and
more ways to give more to life God said
something I love this he says everything
a man does for himself guess what
he takes with him but everything he does
for others
he leaves behind so when you begin to
say what is it that I want to leave what
contribution that I want to begin to
make what difference do I want to make
in life what is it that I want to do
with the rest of the life that I have
left what what chances I need to take
what risks do I need to begin to embrace
what fears do I need to step on what
areas of my life am i dead right now
what dream you can even live your dreams
or live your fears you have got to get
to a point where you say I’m sick and
tired of living like this there’s got to
be more let’s see that’s when people go
out and strike out on their dreams
that’s when people get out of
relationships where they’re dying
together rather than growing together
that’s where they leave jobs so where
do you have another job no I don’t how
you going to make it I don’t know but I
will see you will when you put yourself
in that kind of situation I’m reminded
of two frogs that that were huffing down
the road and they they fell into a
bottle of milk and one was hopping up
and down for a while and he drowned he
just gave up
but this other frog just kept on kicking
he wouldn’t give up he just kept on
kicking and pretty soon he churned that
some saying when light catches you about
a neck and blind slap you lap and knock
you down I said just keep on kicking you
know and you can kick on out of those circumstances whatever they are
can either live your dreams or live your
fears and I think the majority of people
actually are not living their dreams but
a living their fears so I want to ask
you a question
what are your fears what are you afraid
of what are you scared of because we all
have fears don’t we we all have
something that’s blocking us that’s
holding us back and as we begin to look
at life what we realize is that the
reason that most people are not living
out their true potential and not doing
all of the things that they would really
like to do it’s because of fear some
people called fear false evidence or
expectations appearing real a reminded
of the story of a guy that was living in
an area where he had some new neighbors
and these neighbors had a bulldog and
when he came home every day this Bulldog
used to chase him about a half a block
from his house every day he would have
to streak home I mean he was just run
this bulldog be right on his heels and
so he just got tired of that because he
would go home at about a half a block
away from home he would look around for
this Bulldog and he would see and he
would go walking casually long and his
Bulldog come out of nowhere well it’s
not chasing him here to run home so this
one day he just got tired and so when
the Bulldog was running after and he
started running he saw a rock and he
stopped to pick it up to throw out the
Bulldog and when the Bulldog got up
warned him he’s thought Bucky he
realized the Bulldog didn’t have any
then he’s not chasing the Bulldog and
you don’t get overweight with the bows
the Bulldog could have done is gum you
know I and so you know what most people
go through life running scared running
scared from things that have no teeth in
them because they’re false expectations
appearing real let’s see we’re brilliant
enough to scare ourselves to death you
realize that there are some people
actually who’ll get a kick out of
scaring themselves to death I remember
the last frightening movie I saw it was
the Exorcist I will never forget I was
so frightened when I came home I’ll
never forgot drove in the driveway and I
had already called my former wife and
said listen turn the lights on I was
coming in the driveway and I was getting
out of the car and all of a sudden I
couldn’t get out of so I’ll blow my horn
I said ma’am when they got me there
Gabby she came to the kitchen when I
okay I was right out of my wits but
there are a lot of people who think you
know for that love I’m a person not my
brother is a paratrooper my twin brother
he’s in the military career man I would
love to jump out of an airplane to
pierce you I’m scared though I mean I
really admire my brother for that I
would really love to be macho man like
that what are the things that you fear
that’s been keeping you from living your
dream that’s been keeping you from doing
some things that you would like to do
just think about those things and how do
we begin to handle that Abraham Maslow
said that the life is about growth and
he said you could either go back to your
comfort zone and there you won’t find
any growth or you must Willie be willing
to go forward and face your fears again
and again and again because you’re never
going to have a fear free existence I
mean some fear is acceptable and
legitimate there are some things that
you you really should be afraid of now
you shouldn’t allow it to immobilize you
you acknowledge it you take it into
account and you carry yourself
accordingly there are times that we
should proceed with caution
but it’s the difference between being
stopped by fear it’s the difference
between having a fear and the fear
having you so what do we do one
acknowledging and knowing that it’s okay
don’t condemn yourself for being afraid
it’s perfectly fine to have some fears
you acknowledge your fears you embrace
those fears and then you move on you act
on whatever it is that you fear because
once you embrace it see what you resist
will persist what you resist will
persist so one of the most important
things is is to begin to embrace your
fear the fear of bodily harm that’s
legitimate when I was a disc jockey in
Columbus Ohio you know I was young about
22 23 I thought I was tough
and I was on the air and Al Green who
was a great performer at that time and
still is now now singing gospel music
had a record his first hit record was
backup train so a guy came in the town
and was impersonating Al Green I
happened to know al green because I’d
already booked him and so when I found
out this guy was impersonating algorri I
came on the air and did an editorial
about it and I exposed him he was rather
big fellow and so he had the word out
that when I see this guy let’s brown the
disc jockey I’m a knockin my mouth with
having a big mouth so I was driving down
Main Street in Columbus Ohio had my son
in a car and I always had this little
saying hey if anybody able to put a
threat on me imma make him honor it so I
saw this guy on the street side pull
around I say excuse me I’ll be right
back got out of the car hey man I heard
you said that you were looking for me
I’m les Brown
he said you are say yeah I said what is
it I’m the one that said that you were
an imposter
I said I want to know what you’re gonna
do about it he open his coat he had a
gun there I say but whatever I said to
acknowledge your fear scare yourself
accordingly and do what makes sense for
you well one major fear I’ve always had
is a fear of dentists and this fear had
me I didn’t have that fear and what
really and foot reinforced it you got to
watch things that can feed your fear I
saw a movie that most people would not
remember this movie was starring Dustin
Hoffman skal the Marathon Man with
Laurence Olivier when he’s trying to get
a confession out of here and he took
this drill out let me tell you someone
he went in Duffman Hoffman’s mouth with
that drill I had a dollar worth of
popcorn that pop go with everyone do you
know I could not go to the dentist for
five years I had left broadcasting went
to the Ohio legislature had an impacted
wisdom tooth now that hurts and I would
call and soon as the people wouldn’t
answer the phone I would hang up
that’s not frighten about dr. Hamlin
office boom out here then I got to the
point where I could just ask for an
appointment hello and I wouldn’t give my
real name because I knew I would go keep
it
I’d give anybody as they Joe jiggle Jim
it is better the pretty son I got to the
point where I could give my name it was
about four years after that you know so
my name is les Ryan then I would call
back and say look here due to my
legislative agenda I won’t be able to
make it so the lady finally said on
phone said you’re scared aren’t you
I said no I’m not she said then why
don’t you come in I says none of your
business
she said you’re not coming in because
you’re scared I wish you just would not
waste our time and she hung up I said
you have no right to do that to people
like me you know
so finally it’ll make a long this short
I thought I was hurting so bad it’s a
way to man I’ve got to do something and
I said what am I afraid of go there and
handle that’s it man I said dr. Hamill I
just can’t hear this drill I mean if you
can do whatever I just don’t I don’t
need to hear this drill this drill that
sound you know that’s to what gets me
that drill don’t pull that drill out on
me you say just calm down Connor and it
wasn’t really bad as I thought it was
one of the things you find out that when
you face your fears is not as bad as you
think it is and when people tell you I
just can’t do that I can’t handle I mean
really really I can’t have it what
they’re envisioning is that they’re not
going to be if they’re gonna clock out
like you’re going to die guess what we
all that occasions when we confronted
our fears we had to do something we felt
uncomfortable with we didn’t want to do
it and we did not die they didn’t come
take us and put us in a box somewhere
and all right
so what we’ve got to begin to do how do
we handle that what’s the process
because it’s all up in here one I think
is imagine the worst-case scenario I
just imagine that he went in my mouth
and with this drill and that I just
then I imagine that’s the worst case
scenario then I had another technique I
used visualize yourself being more than
able and capable of handling it and I
used to have a tremendous inferiority
complex about speaking before people
that I felt who had more going for them
than I did because I’m not college
trained I used to feel that college
people were the most intelligent people
on the planet and there was nothing I
had to say for them and what would I
what will they listen to me for that’s
the way I felt and so I had to visualize
myself speaking before them speaking
before various audiences it had more
going for them than I did and realize
and appreciate my own value and that I
was a worthwhile person even though I
didn’t have all going for me I didn’t
have the money I didn’t have the
education that they had so part of the
process is seeing yourself being worthy
being capable having what you need to
make your worthwhile person and that
you’re more than able and that you
deserve to be listened to or you deserve
to have that dream and that passion and
whatever it is that you see and envision
there you’ve got to see it in your
mind’s eye and know that you’ve got what
it takes repeat after me please
I must see and my mind’s eye see myself
confronting my fears handling my fears
I’m more than able shake somebody’s hand
on your right and left and say you got
so deciding as you look at your life as
you look into the future and say what
fears am i holding on to what fears that
I’m a lying to imprison me that’s
keeping me from breaking out that’s
keeping me from living up to my true
potential that’s keeping me from really
being happy that’s keeping me from
having a sense of adventure and
excitement in my life what’s what’s
keeping me from controlling my destiny
what fears and I’m giving that
permission to notice what I said that we
must give our permission to fear to
immobilize us because whatever
discomfort you experience whatever
challenges a difficulty that it is you
got to handle it got to go up in there
and wrestle with it will it be easy no
will it be challenging yes friend of
mine who’s going into recovery
he’s been addicted to crack cocaine for
years and alcohol he was talking about
how challenging it was and why he was
dreading going on going into cold turkey
I said what do you want me to tell you
that it’s going to be a picnic no it’s
not
it’s gonna kick your butt yes it is are
you gonna want to die yes yes that’s a
part of it but that’s just what you must
go through in order to get where you
want to go and guess what you are strong
enough to do it you’re strong enough and
your life is worth whatever you have to
go through to get past this addiction
whatever you have to do this dream
you’ve got whatever you want to do will
it be easy to just run out then do it no
will it happen overnight now will it be
a struggle yes will there be times when
you can’t make ends meet yes that’s a
part of it will be times you won’t know
to do yes that’s a part of it will you
have some opposition will things go
wrong sometimes you will have many
visits from Murphy now if you’re saying
somebody must have told us someplace
along the line I don’t know where but
somebody must have told people Oh life
is gonna be real easy if they told you
that I’ve got a special announcement
they lied I don’t forget I had a special
piece of legislation I wanted to get
passed and I said to a guy’s looking can
I count on your vote he said yes and
look here if I can’t count on to let me
know this another guy that owes midship
and I can call on that and I want need
your vote but I do need it if you say
you’re going to do it do it you say you
can count on it legislation came up he
voted against my bill my bill passed I
went back to hey I told you I needed the
vote but if you couldn’t give it up let
me know I would get somebody else and
was in shock how many of you that life
just wore you out that you didn’t expect
that you thought you go to school get
good grades get a job and you came out
here you’ll be able to get a job a
little happily ever after you say they
never told me you know that songs that
mama told me there’d be days like
then even tell us that is that something
about life is challenging I mean it’s
some stuff you get out of here you
didn’t read it in a book nowhere then
nobody warned you that it was gonna come
down on you like this
it’s called life there are kind of
challenges like that so what’s the next
piece is that you accept yourself then
you accept the fear as a fact and not a
force so when you accept yourself and
you accept fear as a fact that means
that it’s something that happens it’s
something that you’re going to
experience but it is not a force to hold
you back it doesn’t have any special
power other than that that you give it
so you accept the fact that you are
afraid and then you move on anyhow you
move on past it and you do whatever
you’ve got to do I was at a big
motivational rally for gentleman by the
name of Dexter Jaeger down in the
Carolinas I was standing backstage and I
had to go out I was the last speaker on
the program it’s the first time I’d been
in a stadium of this size over 10,000
people you couldn’t see the people
because the lights are just blaring in
your eyes called free enterprise day I
was afraid my heart was beating fast
I’ll just pacing back and forth and
Dexter said are you all right I said
yeah cisely wait a bit just calm down
calm yourself oh the older it’s alright
less it’s all right all right just be as
scared as you can be so as I say embrace
that fear just try and see how scared
you can really get and sabri ladina so
the guy came back and said are you bout
to die so I said no fine but after I
started embracing it and trying to make
myself as afraid as I can get and
imagine what’s the worst thing that I
can go out there do my mind go Blake and
I played on stage
but what I start laughing at myself I
start talking about so say you know you
scared today and I said I just calmed
myself down and I went I’d and I cooked
and that’s what you got to do I had
another experience where I was at a
major corporation and I was it was one
of my first major presentations I was
going to do for this corporation and I
had four other presenters that had large
firms and one of the things that you’ve
got to do is you’ve got to watch your
inner conversation and discipline your
thinking and your imagination because if
you don’t your mind will take you on a
wild trip so my mind said hey les I said
what this guy’s gonna wipe you out you
can’t compete with them because I heard
these guys sitting over across from me
and they were talking about all that
they had going for them and so I started
doubting myself and I became afraid and
I was thinking well maybe I shouldn’t go
in there
and so I knew then and this is what I
suggest to you sometimes you got to talk
to yourself talking to yourself you know
could be a good exercise might be the
only intelligent conversation you ever
get so I got up and I were in the
bathroom and I started talking to myself
said last time let me tell you something
what do you care about these guys and
their firms and all their money you’ve
got six children you’ve got to feel
you got a mama you got to take care of
I want that room a look to those people
I said don’t you do nothing tell you
hear from me
so when you have your lower self talking
to you telling you what you can’t do
part of what you’ve got to do is be your
own motivator you can you can’t talk
casually to yourself you can’t stare uh
sit down you must calm down now that’s
unconscious matter we all hear that
you’ve got to have a good conversation
to you say hey and answer yourself –
don’t pity people in attention you
answer yourself hey what you undo I’m
going in get off all right very good go
ahead and take care busy you’ve got to
talk to yourself and you build yourself
up and you’ll feel your energy level
coming up and people will feel that
around you see now if you go through
life being afraid people can sense that
they can pick up that fear so that’s why
you’ve got to stand up inside yourself
I’m reminded of a little boy that was on
a bus and and some bigger fellows who
were picking at him you know and so he
wanted to move from by them they were
thumping you on the head and so he stood
up just to get from by them and they
would push him back down and he would
stand up again they’d push him back down
and he stood up again they pushed him
down held him down he said you might
hold me down but I’m standing up inside
see when you are not filling your life
with the things that you are capable of
doing so we all have some stuff that
we’ve been given and I don’t think that
it’s optional for us to sit on what we
have see if you’re sitting on what you
have what you’ve been given I think
everybody’s been given something to
bring to the planet that only you can do
that only you can perform that only you
can initiate that activity and if you
don’t do that if you’re not filling in
your life with your life work or your
mission then there are gaps in your life
and what we do when we’re not living out
our true identity we begin to fill the
gaps we fill the holes with garbage
alcohol drugs worry self-destructive
behavior so when you begin to look at
your life and you know that that you’re
not doing what you can do because you
have allowed yourself to be held captive
by your fears
now when you don’t have a true
appreciation and acceptance for who you
are and you allow yourself to be
immobilized by fear what happens in the
process is that you begin to abuse
yourself you begin to sabotage your life
you begin to sabotage your dreams you
begin to unconsciously work against
yourself you become your own worst enemy
so what do you do about that well you
you begin to realize that your dream and
your gifts have so much meaning and so
much value for you till your hunger for
them will begin to push you past the
fear your hunger to have them will give
you a special Drive as you work on
yourself as you begin to acknowledge
your true identity the true power that
you have the true capacity you have to
bring about change the miracle-working
power that you have within yourself to
do the things that you want to do when
you take them on I’m reminded of a man
who
this gentleman was doing a special study
of a special tribe in Africa headhunters
and he had difficulty in developing a
relationship with these tribesmen
because of the fact that he had fear
yeah fear they would take his head a day
all fears aren’t bad I was a legitimate
fear that’s a good for you to give you a
headache so he worked there for a long
time with no effort no progress in
developing relationship and rapport and
being able to achieve a level of trust
so finally one night while he was in bed
he was thinking about said what what is
it that you came here to do what is your
life work as a missionary he said I
wanted to study these tribesmen so
what’s the worst thing that they can do
to you kill you and he just decided hey
this is what I came here to do I know
that there’s some risk involved and I’m
gonna do it come what may he said I’m
not gonna be afraid anymore he went back
the next day and he started doing the
work and trying to talk to and interview
many of the members of this tribe and
they began to respond to him they threw
out the welcome mat to him and years
later when people came to see what his
progress was they asked him how were you
able to do this how did you convert the
relationship from being a hostel to that
of being positive and he said something
I think has value for all of us
he said when life can no longer threaten
you with death I said what else is there
what else is there and the majority of
the fears that we have are not life or
death fears and not those kind of fears
but through our imagination we blow them
out of proportion and we give them more
power than they actually have or deserve
and we permit them to govern our lives
we permit them to determine how far we
can
stretch out on our dreams and
discovering our stuff and as we begin to
look at ourselves and begin to wait a
minute just getting to the point as you
assess yourself in and begin to prove
yourself and just the way whole of men
hold a minute I’ve been sweating this
out what can what’s the worst thing that
can happen to me on this will it kill me
will I die what why am I going through
all of these changes over this how much
power does this really have and am I the
one that’s feeding the power into it
said a lot of times we we allow
ourselves to be fed and to be
programming to to being afraid of you
watch the news and read the newspaper
you’ll be scared to come out the house
am i right you’ll be afraid so what
kinds of things what kinds of thoughts
are you feeding your consciousness what
kind of things are you putting in your
mind that will enable you to either move
forward or to justify why you’re staying
where you are another piece that I look
at that when I finally decided that I
was going to go to the dentist pain was
so great I couldn’t hold out any longer
all of a sudden it fit it better I can’t
but take me not some people need fear
you know have a friend that that we
Tolan hey man you know you need to lose
some weight
you gettin overweight and out of shape
and at our age we need to have a regular
program and bud said man I’ve been fat
since I lowboy um you know I’m big-boned
I’ve never seen a fat skeleton though
yeah well bud became ill how many of you
ever see the best kills and right here
all right but became ill passed out and
I was there and the doctor was talking
to him and but I think was going to go
right back to say Moe eating habits and
doing everything you know they look here
you are a diabetic and said now here are
some of the side effects you know you
could go blind you can become
an amputee none of that touched him he
said you can become impotent he said
what did you say his lost weight he
exercises every day he’s in the body
sculpture 48 years young he looks great
I can’t believe but just that one
statement made all the difference in the
world but is a new man today so what is
it that has to happen to you some people
don’t take corrective measures to
improve their health until they get a
pronouncement that they’re about to die
then they start okay all right I’m ready
to do whatever you want me to do but
they won’t do that they can see people
drop it off like flies around them well
we go through life really blocking
ourselves constantly and fear is one of
the the greatest instruments that we
could use to stifle our true potential
when you begin to to look at your life
you can decide to use fear as a blocker
or you can decide to use it as building
blocks that you decide hey look here I’m
going to move in this direction I’m not
going to allow anything to stop me from
doing what I want to do we shake
somebody’s hand on your right and left
see when you begin to understand and
acknowledge of fear and you go forth
anyhow
you go forth in a spirit and unknowing
that there’s a way that you can begin to
handle this there’s a way out here
somewhere there’s a solution what it is
that you’re seeking that you have the
capacity to whatever comes up to handle
it to face it and rather than feeling
powerless you begin to feel powerful see
when all of the major downsizings that
are taking place around this country
there are a lot of people who are biting
their fingers and fear that they might
lose their jobs but there are few people
who have decided within themselves I’m
going to make it some people aren’t
waiting to be cut some people are moving
on their own because they feel within
themselves I’ve got what it takes to
make it they’re not afraid about
tomorrow because of how they see
themselves because of what they feel
that they deserve because of what they
feel that they can create for themselves
because these people have decided as
they look at the future as they look at
themselves there’s a way where there’s a
will there’s a way for me to begin to
create a way out of no way and when you
have that kind of consciousness when you
have that kind of spirit nothing can
stop you
nothing what would your life be like as
you look toward the future if you
decided I’m not going to allow my fears
to stop me what would your life be like
what would your future be like if you
decided to to want that which you desire
so strongly that it prepares you past
your fears that you experienced a fear
as the one book says feel the
fear and do it anyway what would your
life be like and I’m saying to you that
all of us who have been in tuned by fear
have the capacity to resurrect ourselves
and to resurrect our dreams all of us
and you have is it easy no it’s not easy
can I do it yes what’s one of the ways
to get started some of us need somebody
to hold our hands sometimes we need
somebody to help us out be willing to
say I don’t know be willing to reach out
be willing to get some assistance to
take you to the next level of what great
athlete you never expect boxes to make
profound statements I think it was Joe
Frazier who said this one he says all of
us are like the blind man at some point
in our lives standing on the corner
waiting for somebody to lead us across
see all of us at some point in our lives
need some help need someone to reach out
to us to thrive the lifeline to help us
go cross some treacherous waters that we
couldn’t navigate by ourselves none of
us do it by ourselves all of us at some
point of our lives we need that kind of
help we need that kind of assistance
because we grow from the people we have
in our lives that can enrich our lives
personally professionally spiritually
and all the dimensions of our lives we
don’t grow in a vacuum so you look at
yourself whatever fears you have that
maybe you need some help and
strengthening yourself in that area as
you assess your strengths and your
weaknesses as you begin to approve
yourself and your passions and your
dreams and your goals and the things
that you want if you decide to
experience all of your true potential as
you decide to manifest all of your
greatness as you decide wait a minute
what what else is available to me out
here if I decided to experience the fear
of rejection the fear of no the fear of
failure the fear of standing by myself
what else is available of taking a
chance of fear of losing it all what
else is available to me that will bring
some extra meaning and value the fear of
people not liking me you know how many
people do things they don’t want to do
because they want everybody to like them
everybody’s not good at like you excuse
me special announcement everybody’s not
going to like you know that’s it’s just
not that kind of world what but you know
that a lot of people who won’t take
positions on issues who won’t take a
stand for things they believe in who
won’t speak up for themselves because
they don’t want to make anybody mad oh
it was Bill Cosby he said I don’t know
what the secret of success is he said
but here’s what I know what the secret
of failures he said trying to please
everybody you can’t please everybody but
they’re people who have the fear of
rocking the boat so then just go alone
in life just go along well no how do you
feel well I don’t really want to say how
many of you know people I get raise your
head these people are living life
they’re not truly experiencing life what
do you really want to do well I don’t
like this but I guess I’ll go ahead on
and do know the life is too short for
that too short and unpredictable
moseying through not trying to disturb
anything not trying to shake anything up
not trying to make any waves you see
there are some people who who come
through the universe in their level of
contribution and the level of energy
they manifest is so small so
inconspicuous that when they go you
won’t even know they left I mean they’re
people who died on jobs and and you say
where’s John Oh jump and did six months
you’re kidding is that right I didn’t
know well I guess we did miss but there
are some people because of their
personality because of their
contribution because of their the
investment of their time and their
energy and the impact they have their
that when they go everybody will miss
them so when Mother Teresa checks out
everybody will know when Rosa Parks
everybody will know Nelson Mandela
everybody will know what because of
their contribution see but there’s some
people because their contribution is so
small no one will care
some saying before you are boxed and
buried decide that you’re going to box
and bury your fears decide that you’re
going to begin to live life on a new
level seeking out new horizons that you
were to find more love and more joy and
more ways to give more to life God said
something I love this he says everything
a man does for himself guess what
he takes with him but everything he does
for others
he leaves behind so when you begin to
say what is it that I want to leave what
contribution that I want to begin to
make what difference do I want to make
in life what is it that I want to do
with the rest of the life that I have
left what what chances I need to take
what risks do I need to begin to embrace
what fears do I need to step on what
areas of my life am i dead right now
what dream you can even live your dreams
or live your fears you have got to get
to a point where you say I’m sick and
tired of living like this there’s got to
be more let’s see that’s when people go
out and strike out on their dreams
that’s when people get out of
relationships where they’re dying
together rather than growing together
that’s where they leave jobs so where
do you have another job no I don’t how
you going to make it I don’t know but I
will see you will when you put yourself
in that kind of situation I’m reminded
of two frogs that that were huffing down
the road and they they fell into a
bottle of milk and one was hopping up
and down for a while and he drowned he
just gave up
but this other frog just kept on kicking
he wouldn’t give up he just kept on
kicking and pretty soon he churned that
some saying when light catches you about
a neck and blind slap you lap and knock
you down I said just keep on kicking you
know and you can kick on out of those circumstances whatever they are
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