you have to allow yourself to be seen to
risk being seen is the toughest thing in
the world we’re all very shy of people
we’re shy and the emotion is right there
on the surface if you pricked me with a
pin I would fly around the room that’s
the risk is that you are showing them
yourself you’re your true authentic self
and the chances of being rejected are
much more important you know much more
terrifying when I was I guess 15 with
his 15 years old and I was looking for a
way into the business and my dad was out
of work there was never any other choice
you know there’s never any other choice
from an atomic and that I that there was
consciousness in the body I was looking
at a man named Percy my dad who was the
most incredible character that you’d
ever meet if you met him for five
minutes you thought you knew him for 50
years and he wrapped every one that came
into our house in stories and jokes I
became his calling at a certain point
and he was always super behind me but
from the first time I can remember him
just lighting up the room you know and
him just like wrapping everybody in a
story or whatever and and going oh
that’s that’s the thing I want to do
well that’s that’s what I want to be
because he was always there
because I became what was special about
the family the one thing I like people
talk about depression all the time the
difference between depression and
sadness sadness is just you know from
happenstance whatever happened or didn’t
happen for you or you know grief or
whatever it is and depression is your
body saying you I don’t want to be
this character anymore I don’t want to
hold up this this avatar that you’ve
created in the world deep rest your body
needs to be depressed
it needs deep rest from the character
that you’ve been trying to play
I want to challenge your beliefs I want
to challenge the the properness of this
occasion or whatever it is and throw it
on its head in a way that you can accept
them and love and look for you so I’ve
been in the business of freeing people
from concerning I just think it’s in
your nature it isn’t in your nature
you know it’s like it’s it’s kind of
want to see the same old thing and I
think there’s a ton of people out there
don’t want to see the same old thing and
it’s very strange because I’ve been
sharing things that you know lately
about what I believe in stuff that are
really kind of maybe a few years ago
might have been like okay Jim maybe
we’ll join you on that planet someday
I’m finding that people are all kind of
in for the most part accepting of
another kind of way of looking at things
or letting go of character
the river of tears that we all have to
face and eventually and that we’re all
avoiding and how the other side there’s
you know that your body can survive it
but you can’t better off without you or
and I think you’re supposed to say you
know we’re important you’re supposed to
say it’s all going to be alright and
you’re supposed to say that you know
whatever you dream can come true and
you’re supposed to say all those things
I do believe in manifestation and power
of that kind of stuff but I don’t
believe that any of it matters you know
and this mattering is is to me a human
construct born out of a need to say the
same need is you have to have you know
deities and things like that I believe
in an energy of God energy of you know
everything is divine you know there’s
just not there’s no there’s no thing
that isn’t divine everything is divine
and I’m that and not the body you guys
and this thing and I’m this thing the
cameras and it doesn’t matter to me
sometimes I still have the groove cut in
me that you know wants my hair to look
nice I’m finding that ultimately the the
freedom from it is is something people
are kind of hungry for what they’re like
I don’t want to be me either
you know and I and I go well it great
cuz you never have been right
the knowledge has been evolving you know
I know I had to I believe that I had to
become a famous you know idea yeah
and get all the stuff that people dream
about and and accomplished a bunch of a
bunch of things that you know that that
look like success in order to give up my
attachment to those things it’s been a
part of the evolution of egos is to
spend your first half of your life
acquiring and adding thinking you can
add to yourself and and it looks great I
mean it looks great when you got a cool
car and you got good nice clothes and
you know and you’re and you’ve done
something that people admire it can
never fulfill you you can ever be happy
you know what I mean it’s not it’s not
where happiness comes from and you know
I dealt with depression you know a few
years ago and people still think oh he’s
going through you can tell he’s
depressed and it’s not I haven’t no
depression in my life whatsoever
literally none
I have sadness and joy and elation and
satisfaction and gratitude beyond belief
but all of it is wetter and it just
spins around the planet you know it’s
not it doesn’t sit on me long enough to
kill me
this is just everything the happy place
is realizing that you’re everything you
know and that there’s no real you
involved in the first place you know
it’s a so it’s a weird little semantic
jump that you make where it sounds like
well that’s totally threatening
man I can’t I can’t not be me I’ve built
this construct yeah you know I’ve from
the time I was given a name and they’re
just ideas you know the only thing that
separates you from an african-american
or an African Canadian is an idea you
know and and the weather you know I had
the adaption to the climate and whatever
it is I don’t believe in any of it
and and so the feeling of wholeness is a
different feeling than meanness
so those who wish to masquerade for the
rest of this virtual game sometimes ever
made really uncomfortable by it you know
they’re there like it really looks like
a mask beside somebody who’s not wearing
a mask you know I don’t really look for
things and it’s the same with painting
and sculpting and whatever I’ll just
start and I and and it happened it
happens that later on my subconscious
mind told me something just like the
scripts tell me something about where I
was at you know and so they find me you
know I and that’s why I disappear for
long periods of time and plus when you
go away a little bit sometimes you learn
a new stroke you know it’s like you cut
you lop your right arm off to learn how
to write with your left
still you can do the old stuff but the
new stuff is there too
you
I don’t exist so they’re all characters
that I played including Jim Carrey
including Joel barish
including any of those things they’re
all characters you know they Jim Carrey
was a less intentional character right
because I thought I was just building
something that people would like but it
was a character you know so it’s you
know I played the guy that was free from
concerns so that people who watched me
would be free from concern
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world
don’t let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory
my father could have been a great
comedian but he didn’t believe that that
was possible for him and so he made a
conservative choice instead he got a
safe job as an accountant and when I was
12 years old he was let go from that
safe job and our family had to do
whatever we could to survive I learned
many great lessons from my father not
the least of which was that you can fail
and when you don’t want so you might as
well take a chance on doing what you
love that piece that we’re after lies
somewhere beyond personality
[Music]
or as I can tell it’s just about letting
the universe know what you want and
working toward it while letting go of
how it comes to pass when I say life
doesn’t happen to you it happens for you
I really don’t know if that’s true I’m
just making a conscious choice to
perceive challenges as something
beneficial so that I can deal with them
in the most productive way you’ll come
up with your own style that’s part of
the fun like many of you I was concerned
about going out into the world and doing
something bigger than myself until
someone smarter than myself made me
realize that there is nothing bigger
than myself
you are ready and able to do beautiful
things in this world and after you walk
through those doors today
we’ll only ever have two choices love
choose love and don’t ever let fear turn
you against your playful heart
[Music]
you can spend your whole life imagining
ghosts worrying about the pathway to the
future but all there will ever be is
what’s happening
the decisions we make in this moment
which are based in either love
so many of us choose our path out of
fear disguised as practicality
we really want seem to possibly outreach
and ridiculous to expect so we never
dare to ask the universe for I’m saying
I’m the proof
but you can ask the universe
I can tell you from experience the
effect you have on others is the most
valuable currency therapies
yeah I would visualize yeah this is your
life well get four right having
directors interested in me and people
that I respected
saying you know I like your work or
whatever that is and and I would
visualize things coming to me that I
wanted or whatever this was in like
nineteen eighty seven eighty five yeah
and I had nothing at that time so it was
like but it just made me feel better it
made me at that time all it really was
for me was kind of making me feel better
I would drive home and think well I do
have these things and they’re out there
I just don’t have ahold of them yet but
they’re out there I wrote myself a check
for ten million dollars for acting
services rendered and I gave myself five
years there were three years maybe and
and I dated at Thanksgiving 1995 and I
put it in my wallet and I kept it there
and it deteriorated and deteriorated and
stuff and and but then just before
Thanksgiving 1995 I found out that I was
gonna make ten million dollars on I
think it’s all a risk but ya know going
on stage would be wonderful I I
I used to you know I did some 15 years
in the comedy clubs before I really
started acting 101 you stand up it’s
just a TV of some kind
it’s a PhD of being able to relate to an
audience for sheer cliff yeah yeah you
know and then handling drunks
[Laughter]
this isn’t thing it’s like God you
better own it you know whatever it is
you better own it you know
of this need for stuff I’m always like
afraid almost no I like st. prayers you
know make sure you know that I still
have something to do here because well I
really believe in the idea that if you
don’t have something to do here you call
well there’s no hosting you said
something about your parents that this
fascinated me at a certain point they
were just waiting for the end yeah yeah
and absolutely lovely people right but
kind of lost heart you know my father
lost his job and that hurt attrition of
life had taken its – yes absolutely and
I think at a certain point they weren’t
enjoying it anymore they weren’t they
were just kind of waiting around
and I saw that early on and I said no I
can’t I can’t have that I have to break
that cycle you know so I’m fascinated
with that myself and I’m kind of weary
of it myself
about my motivations about
allegiances about what I’m expressing in
the world you know just my day-to-day
you know contact with people the idea
that you know if people come up to me
and say I love you you know I I I try
extra hard to give them energy you know
to make it something that isn’t about me
it’s about them and this moment whatever
it is yeah you know I’m constantly you
know trying to figure out where I’m at
and whether I’m whether I’m corrupting
myself or or not or I probably just you
know really too much about this but it
weighs heavy on me alone I believe in
manifestation I believe in you know
putting a rocket of desire out into the
universe and and you get it when you
believe it you get it when you believe
you have it and that’s the key is like
people still they sit around going
when’s it gonna come winds are gonna
come when’s it gonna come winds are
gonna come and that’s the wrong way
you’re you’re facing the wrong way
you’re facing away from it you have to
go it’s here it’s here
I used to open my arms I used to sit up
there you know and open my arms and
imagine a giant funnel of gifts could
come right into the universe honest to
god I you could you know cut to me there
I’m like like this and and if nothing
else it made me feel more positive about
where I was I I drove down from a
Holland Drive every every night you know
that I went up there feeling that I was
one of the biggest detectors of
Hollywood I was doing wonderful work
that made people happy
I was you know I owned all that that was
it you know I guess you know what I own
when you think about it is is my faith
that’s what I hope that’s about it
because I started thinking materially
and you know those your faith in
yourself or you have faith in some a
thin the universe faith in myself
yeah that’s it that is at the end what
you are that’s the sense so that’s all I
have that you could that’s exactly right
you can strip all the stuff away and
right and if you have that that sense
the bait that’s huge and it’s as big as
if that’s what they huge you know for
the most amount ins move in my life so
I’ve had just endless gifts and they’ve
all been things that I have at some
point sat in and made myself believe
were possible and you did with the check
four years earlier you did yes right I
myself a check when I was up in a mohel
and dry I wrote myself a post-dated
check Thanksgiving 1995 for the sum of
ten million dollars and again it wasn’t
about the money it was about where you
are if you’re gonna see anything right
then what you’re doing because I’ve
examined that all the way along you know
when the whole this twenty million
dollar man business was happening you
know I’ve examined what my motivations
are and the fact is I’m addicted to
expressing myself in in certain ways and
and I have to do it and I would do it if
I was making twenty cents yeah so it’s
really about that especially now I have
enough money to live 20 lives so I I I
can’t stop
I’m fascinated by what creates
characters you know what what what
defines people what what creates them
what puts them together everybody’s
Frankenstein and they just like as life
goes on you either you either lose
pieces of yourself gain other pieces and
just that’s the fascinating thing about
acting it’s like somebody like Andy
Kaufman what is it and I stood by his
gravesite you know with his sister and
and and she said one thing to me that
cleared it all up and that was that Andy
wasn’t ever part of the club so he
created his own Club that no one else
could be a part of because I was fully
you know compared to just play out you
know stand-up comedy and comedy clubs
yeah but there’s something within you
that constantly pushed the edges of the
envelope wherever you were well or at
least took advantage of the
opportunities that came around and a lot
of it has to do with you know just the
courage to jump in I mean you know to do
films that are out of your so-called
power Ally as they call it is it takes
nerve you know so I have the nerve you
know and we’ll see if I have the goods
but I have the nerve and yeah I I’m just
excited really about always changing
about crossing me back and forth across
the river and throwing the hounds off
the trail
I love that just whatever you think that
just what we think we’ve got you we know
you you’re off on another route
absolutely and if I feel like I’ve been
figured out boy look out I will become
something completely different you know
maybe I might might not want to become
something completely different but
express something completely dinner I
always felt like if the world is going
crazy I’ll be calm and if and if they’re
calm I’ll be the one hanging
I mean The Truman Show was a was a
another moment where you know I had to
kind of deal with well you’re not
allowed to do that
you know you’ve presented yourself one
way and you know it’s it’s a tough thing
to convince people that there’s
something more or that they might want
to see something different but I’ve
always believed all the way along I
believed that that it was about a spark
right it was about who you are as a
person it’s about your soul it’s about
not necessarily mean you do what you do
so well but there is something about you
that that is attractive to people in a
way that they want to sit and watch you
for an hour and and and listen to you
and list your insights but it’s about
you and who you are
what is it worth what is it worth it
that’s that’s what I’ve come to so many
times in my career in my life is that
I’ve I’ve said the safe road is is is
gonna pay off there are there are many
payoffs to it but I can’t be there and
and and have my soul be on a completely
different track I just it’s always worth
losing to me it’s always worth risking
and if if if this other side of me is
not a popular one in the scheme of
things as far as movie tickets go then
you know what I’ll find a way to sneak
it in there out out out I’ll make a plan
I will I will show myself you know I
will find a way and even if even if I’m
not as popular I will live in that area
I will expand myself I mean I have I
started out with many many desires as
far as as far as this business goes and
I’ve so surpassed all of them that I
that it it’s not as meaningful to me
anymore I really love the work itself
I’ve examined myself on several
occasions why am I really doing this am
I doing this because I want to be famous
I think there was an element to that
when I started out I wanted to be a
Rainmaker we should talk about battling
it further what does that mean that
means I think I wasn’t necessarily seen
as much or as intently as I wanted to be
when I was a kid I had I had a job at
least in my own mind and that was to
make my mother feel better she was kind
of a very ill in many ways and so it was
to make her feel better and I think
ultimately I imitated my father he was a
very funny guy but also I felt some need
and maybe I don’t know whether they
created it or I created it but I felt a
need to make them feel that their life
was worthwhile that they did something
special just by the very fact that they
brought me into the world so from a very
young age I wanted to convince them that
I was a miracle and then I wanted to
convince the world that I was a miracle
and and now I want to convince the world
that I’m just like them so you went from
commissioned first-year miracle and then
you are just like them yes and how does
that play out today in terms of
convincing the world you are just like
them that you are well what I’m finding
is is an interesting thing because I
have a lot of people asking me why are
you are you afraid that people won’t
accept you and I know that in my life
and at least in my you know the circle
people I know and know my friends that
know my work it seems like any of the
people I talked to like you it seems
like people are almost waiting for it
that they’ve suspected that there’s
another level to me in there and they’re
kind of intrigued and interested in what
that might be
[Music]
it’s it’s it’s that and it’s an
addiction obviously I mean I’d love
addiction to just knowing yourself yeah
an addiction to trying to figure out and
maybe this is an impossible task but you
know everybody’s looking for bliss you
know in some way or another and I think
I’ve come to the realization lately that
that that bliss comes in waves and there
and everybody gets a certain amount of
it but but in between it’s just hard
work being in this body and that it is
the unwise person to expect Bliss will
be there all day on solute Lee and
absolutely but you look for it you look
for and you wonder why you’re off the
beam all the time whatever so I’m
constantly examining myself I probably
do it too much I’ve always over thought
everything and when you’re reading
Emerson and you read yeah yeah all right
which is like the big the big the big
thing for me you know in life right now
is the the excerpt from compensation yes
a he did on compensation where it talks
about that man would I recognize I would
see the mermaids head but not the
dragon’s tail and these are this is
something that happens over and over and
over in my life and relationships and in
in choices that I make professionally
you know a lot of times you just don’t
want to believe in the bat but the bat
is there you know the negativity is
there or the the the obvious drawback to
the situation is there but you just go I
want and and that’s that comes down to
thy will be done and everything biblical
it’s you know it’s so I’m always
struggling with these concepts it’s to
my desire is my only problem
this world your desire yes and to do
your appetite my appetite yeah
absolutely yeah to prove everything and
to be everything with you it’s our
intention our intention is everything
nothing happens on this planet without
it not one single thing has ever been
accomplished without intention so I
started thinking about my life and I
started thinking about this conference
and what we’re about and and I looked
back and I thought well I was two people
my whole life I was in the living room
entertaining people being a monkey you
know doing my thing for the company and
and trying to relieve my mother who was
suffering she had arthritis and Vitus
and everything everything under the Sun
that was nagging at her and she was
depressed and I wanted her to be free
and I wanted her to realize that her
life was worth something because she
gave birth to someone who was worth
something
and then I would go into my room and I
would sit
with the legal pad I was a little kid I
would sit there but I would try to
figure out what it meant what it was all
about why are we here what is this and
one day I read something from Buddha
that said that all spirituality is about
relieving suffering and I suddenly
realized that’s what I’m doing in the
other room
and and I’m aligned
you know this my purpose is aligned with
this so I felt incredibly lucky I lose
sight of that all the time to get caught
up in different concerns and ego
concerns
but I’m so lucky to be a part of this
community and to to do something that is
a value
I really cherish that and we are all one
thing it really is true can I speak to
that the person in the last row in the
very last seat against the wall is there
is there someone back there that can say
hello what’s your name
Andrea are you aware that do you have
the distinct palpable feeling that your
intention created this evening as well
as Melissa’s do you understand that that
all of this this entire event is
happening inside you
[Applause]
[Music]
we’ll just try to feel it for a second
because it’s a trip man
some people go to the Super Bowl I am
the Super Bowl man I swear my friends
are all going to see that play that was
great I’m like yeah but the energy
coming out of me right now man is
unbelievable I’m just sitting there
I’m the stadium on the vendors outside
I’m the crack dealer on the corner I’m
everything man there’s no end to it and
it’s so much fun it’s so much fun so I
hope you can feel that and I hope you
understand that you are one of the
creators of this evening that your
intentions and your desires created this
evening as well and then I hope you are
able to ask yourself why did I get such
a crappy seat and be okay with it
I mean you’re in the last row in the
last seat and yet you created this
that’s got to be it’s a really selfless
thing to do
so understand based on some things that
I read about you you know that in the
end it’s really a lot about self-respect
yes it is because you know yourself yeah
and it is well yeah and self-respect is
certainly one of the major problems in
the world self-esteem is is the reason
for most ills and you know desiring what
we don’t have I needs to Holderness me
or I am Peter Ashe hold on yes how did
you mean that well in in the respect
that he has this yearning this yearning
that that is more important to him again
false gods right when you put something
so in the forefront of your life some
desire in the forefront of your life
that everything else starts to suffer
I understand that I understand that
because I’ve gone that way and had to
pull myself back or whatever but it’s
the yearning that that that is can be
something very positive it can create
wonderful things but when it when it
makes you negate your life and the
people in your life it becomes or you
know again like when it makes you bear
false witness you know and sell somebody
out it’s it’s just not worth having you
know that that yearning is the tough
part
the yearning to to kind of have that but
not make it completely consume you and
that would be the selling out of his
friendly out of his friends we’re not
guilty of anything and he’s living in
know he’s living in a place of fear of
loss right you know and that’s always a
dangerous character the guy who’s afraid
of loss is a dangerous guy because he’s
the guy in Hollywood the stabs you in
the back or you know turns on somebody
or whatever they you know trying to
protect it’s you know story if you know
a man’s fear then you can conquer him
something say truly I mean that’s what
the blacklist era was about some
somebody you know McCarthy sat back and
said my gosh what a what a wonderful
fear to take advantage of and and to
bring this up to power through it
you know what I believe in the universe
I believe in the horn of plenty I
believe in the cornucopia you know so
I’m not afraid of Tom Cruise and what
his movies do and I can enjoy it and I
can enjoy Russell Crowe and because
there is so much in the universe we all
you know can feed from it and we all we
all you know enough for everybody is
that where you are in your head at this
yes I’m sure some season they’ve got a
Russell Crowe as a movie out no cruise
as a movie yet you’re saying there’s
enough I’m perfectly happy with what
absolutely Jim has been given so much I
mean III would be a green bore at the
trough of life you know if I if I
questioned if you wanted at all oh my
gosh I mean you know I I sit down with
friends of mine who are in the perfect
in the acting profession and and they
say you know these are really good
actors and they say man no one’s really
getting the chance to do what you’re
getting to do you know I mean this is a
it’s quite an arc going on that time and
time again I feel so lucky to have it
but you had to bring something otherwise
they would not continue to give you the
chance and you obviously recognize that
you have to allow yourself to be seen
that’s the risk the risk is especially
for somebody who’s comedic yeah who has
that that weapon and its disposal just
to go off and rift yeah yeah to risk
being seen is the toughest thing in the
world we’re all very shy people you know
people who do comedy we’re shy and the
emotion is right there on the surface if
you prick me with a pin I would fly
around the room you know so that’s the
risk is that you are showing them
yourself you’re your true authentic self
and the chances of being rejected are
much more important you know much more
terrifying
you
risk being seen is the toughest thing in
the world we’re all very shy of people
we’re shy and the emotion is right there
on the surface if you pricked me with a
pin I would fly around the room that’s
the risk is that you are showing them
yourself you’re your true authentic self
and the chances of being rejected are
much more important you know much more
terrifying when I was I guess 15 with
his 15 years old and I was looking for a
way into the business and my dad was out
of work there was never any other choice
you know there’s never any other choice
from an atomic and that I that there was
consciousness in the body I was looking
at a man named Percy my dad who was the
most incredible character that you’d
ever meet if you met him for five
minutes you thought you knew him for 50
years and he wrapped every one that came
into our house in stories and jokes I
became his calling at a certain point
and he was always super behind me but
from the first time I can remember him
just lighting up the room you know and
him just like wrapping everybody in a
story or whatever and and going oh
that’s that’s the thing I want to do
well that’s that’s what I want to be
because he was always there
because I became what was special about
the family the one thing I like people
talk about depression all the time the
difference between depression and
sadness sadness is just you know from
happenstance whatever happened or didn’t
happen for you or you know grief or
whatever it is and depression is your
body saying you I don’t want to be
this character anymore I don’t want to
hold up this this avatar that you’ve
created in the world deep rest your body
needs to be depressed
it needs deep rest from the character
that you’ve been trying to play
I want to challenge your beliefs I want
to challenge the the properness of this
occasion or whatever it is and throw it
on its head in a way that you can accept
them and love and look for you so I’ve
been in the business of freeing people
from concerning I just think it’s in
your nature it isn’t in your nature
you know it’s like it’s it’s kind of
want to see the same old thing and I
think there’s a ton of people out there
don’t want to see the same old thing and
it’s very strange because I’ve been
sharing things that you know lately
about what I believe in stuff that are
really kind of maybe a few years ago
might have been like okay Jim maybe
we’ll join you on that planet someday
I’m finding that people are all kind of
in for the most part accepting of
another kind of way of looking at things
or letting go of character
the river of tears that we all have to
face and eventually and that we’re all
avoiding and how the other side there’s
you know that your body can survive it
but you can’t better off without you or
and I think you’re supposed to say you
know we’re important you’re supposed to
say it’s all going to be alright and
you’re supposed to say that you know
whatever you dream can come true and
you’re supposed to say all those things
I do believe in manifestation and power
of that kind of stuff but I don’t
believe that any of it matters you know
and this mattering is is to me a human
construct born out of a need to say the
same need is you have to have you know
deities and things like that I believe
in an energy of God energy of you know
everything is divine you know there’s
just not there’s no there’s no thing
that isn’t divine everything is divine
and I’m that and not the body you guys
and this thing and I’m this thing the
cameras and it doesn’t matter to me
sometimes I still have the groove cut in
me that you know wants my hair to look
nice I’m finding that ultimately the the
freedom from it is is something people
are kind of hungry for what they’re like
I don’t want to be me either
you know and I and I go well it great
cuz you never have been right
the knowledge has been evolving you know
I know I had to I believe that I had to
become a famous you know idea yeah
and get all the stuff that people dream
about and and accomplished a bunch of a
bunch of things that you know that that
look like success in order to give up my
attachment to those things it’s been a
part of the evolution of egos is to
spend your first half of your life
acquiring and adding thinking you can
add to yourself and and it looks great I
mean it looks great when you got a cool
car and you got good nice clothes and
you know and you’re and you’ve done
something that people admire it can
never fulfill you you can ever be happy
you know what I mean it’s not it’s not
where happiness comes from and you know
I dealt with depression you know a few
years ago and people still think oh he’s
going through you can tell he’s
depressed and it’s not I haven’t no
depression in my life whatsoever
literally none
I have sadness and joy and elation and
satisfaction and gratitude beyond belief
but all of it is wetter and it just
spins around the planet you know it’s
not it doesn’t sit on me long enough to
kill me
this is just everything the happy place
is realizing that you’re everything you
know and that there’s no real you
involved in the first place you know
it’s a so it’s a weird little semantic
jump that you make where it sounds like
well that’s totally threatening
man I can’t I can’t not be me I’ve built
this construct yeah you know I’ve from
the time I was given a name and they’re
just ideas you know the only thing that
separates you from an african-american
or an African Canadian is an idea you
know and and the weather you know I had
the adaption to the climate and whatever
it is I don’t believe in any of it
and and so the feeling of wholeness is a
different feeling than meanness
so those who wish to masquerade for the
rest of this virtual game sometimes ever
made really uncomfortable by it you know
they’re there like it really looks like
a mask beside somebody who’s not wearing
a mask you know I don’t really look for
things and it’s the same with painting
and sculpting and whatever I’ll just
start and I and and it happened it
happens that later on my subconscious
mind told me something just like the
scripts tell me something about where I
was at you know and so they find me you
know I and that’s why I disappear for
long periods of time and plus when you
go away a little bit sometimes you learn
a new stroke you know it’s like you cut
you lop your right arm off to learn how
to write with your left
still you can do the old stuff but the
new stuff is there too
you
I don’t exist so they’re all characters
that I played including Jim Carrey
including Joel barish
including any of those things they’re
all characters you know they Jim Carrey
was a less intentional character right
because I thought I was just building
something that people would like but it
was a character you know so it’s you
know I played the guy that was free from
concerns so that people who watched me
would be free from concern
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world
don’t let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory
my father could have been a great
comedian but he didn’t believe that that
was possible for him and so he made a
conservative choice instead he got a
safe job as an accountant and when I was
12 years old he was let go from that
safe job and our family had to do
whatever we could to survive I learned
many great lessons from my father not
the least of which was that you can fail
and when you don’t want so you might as
well take a chance on doing what you
love that piece that we’re after lies
somewhere beyond personality
[Music]
or as I can tell it’s just about letting
the universe know what you want and
working toward it while letting go of
how it comes to pass when I say life
doesn’t happen to you it happens for you
I really don’t know if that’s true I’m
just making a conscious choice to
perceive challenges as something
beneficial so that I can deal with them
in the most productive way you’ll come
up with your own style that’s part of
the fun like many of you I was concerned
about going out into the world and doing
something bigger than myself until
someone smarter than myself made me
realize that there is nothing bigger
than myself
you are ready and able to do beautiful
things in this world and after you walk
through those doors today
we’ll only ever have two choices love
choose love and don’t ever let fear turn
you against your playful heart
[Music]
you can spend your whole life imagining
ghosts worrying about the pathway to the
future but all there will ever be is
what’s happening
the decisions we make in this moment
which are based in either love
so many of us choose our path out of
fear disguised as practicality
we really want seem to possibly outreach
and ridiculous to expect so we never
dare to ask the universe for I’m saying
I’m the proof
but you can ask the universe
I can tell you from experience the
effect you have on others is the most
valuable currency therapies
yeah I would visualize yeah this is your
life well get four right having
directors interested in me and people
that I respected
saying you know I like your work or
whatever that is and and I would
visualize things coming to me that I
wanted or whatever this was in like
nineteen eighty seven eighty five yeah
and I had nothing at that time so it was
like but it just made me feel better it
made me at that time all it really was
for me was kind of making me feel better
I would drive home and think well I do
have these things and they’re out there
I just don’t have ahold of them yet but
they’re out there I wrote myself a check
for ten million dollars for acting
services rendered and I gave myself five
years there were three years maybe and
and I dated at Thanksgiving 1995 and I
put it in my wallet and I kept it there
and it deteriorated and deteriorated and
stuff and and but then just before
Thanksgiving 1995 I found out that I was
gonna make ten million dollars on I
think it’s all a risk but ya know going
on stage would be wonderful I I
I used to you know I did some 15 years
in the comedy clubs before I really
started acting 101 you stand up it’s
just a TV of some kind
it’s a PhD of being able to relate to an
audience for sheer cliff yeah yeah you
know and then handling drunks
[Laughter]
this isn’t thing it’s like God you
better own it you know whatever it is
you better own it you know
of this need for stuff I’m always like
afraid almost no I like st. prayers you
know make sure you know that I still
have something to do here because well I
really believe in the idea that if you
don’t have something to do here you call
well there’s no hosting you said
something about your parents that this
fascinated me at a certain point they
were just waiting for the end yeah yeah
and absolutely lovely people right but
kind of lost heart you know my father
lost his job and that hurt attrition of
life had taken its – yes absolutely and
I think at a certain point they weren’t
enjoying it anymore they weren’t they
were just kind of waiting around
and I saw that early on and I said no I
can’t I can’t have that I have to break
that cycle you know so I’m fascinated
with that myself and I’m kind of weary
of it myself
about my motivations about
allegiances about what I’m expressing in
the world you know just my day-to-day
you know contact with people the idea
that you know if people come up to me
and say I love you you know I I I try
extra hard to give them energy you know
to make it something that isn’t about me
it’s about them and this moment whatever
it is yeah you know I’m constantly you
know trying to figure out where I’m at
and whether I’m whether I’m corrupting
myself or or not or I probably just you
know really too much about this but it
weighs heavy on me alone I believe in
manifestation I believe in you know
putting a rocket of desire out into the
universe and and you get it when you
believe it you get it when you believe
you have it and that’s the key is like
people still they sit around going
when’s it gonna come winds are gonna
come when’s it gonna come winds are
gonna come and that’s the wrong way
you’re you’re facing the wrong way
you’re facing away from it you have to
go it’s here it’s here
I used to open my arms I used to sit up
there you know and open my arms and
imagine a giant funnel of gifts could
come right into the universe honest to
god I you could you know cut to me there
I’m like like this and and if nothing
else it made me feel more positive about
where I was I I drove down from a
Holland Drive every every night you know
that I went up there feeling that I was
one of the biggest detectors of
Hollywood I was doing wonderful work
that made people happy
I was you know I owned all that that was
it you know I guess you know what I own
when you think about it is is my faith
that’s what I hope that’s about it
because I started thinking materially
and you know those your faith in
yourself or you have faith in some a
thin the universe faith in myself
yeah that’s it that is at the end what
you are that’s the sense so that’s all I
have that you could that’s exactly right
you can strip all the stuff away and
right and if you have that that sense
the bait that’s huge and it’s as big as
if that’s what they huge you know for
the most amount ins move in my life so
I’ve had just endless gifts and they’ve
all been things that I have at some
point sat in and made myself believe
were possible and you did with the check
four years earlier you did yes right I
myself a check when I was up in a mohel
and dry I wrote myself a post-dated
check Thanksgiving 1995 for the sum of
ten million dollars and again it wasn’t
about the money it was about where you
are if you’re gonna see anything right
then what you’re doing because I’ve
examined that all the way along you know
when the whole this twenty million
dollar man business was happening you
know I’ve examined what my motivations
are and the fact is I’m addicted to
expressing myself in in certain ways and
and I have to do it and I would do it if
I was making twenty cents yeah so it’s
really about that especially now I have
enough money to live 20 lives so I I I
can’t stop
I’m fascinated by what creates
characters you know what what what
defines people what what creates them
what puts them together everybody’s
Frankenstein and they just like as life
goes on you either you either lose
pieces of yourself gain other pieces and
just that’s the fascinating thing about
acting it’s like somebody like Andy
Kaufman what is it and I stood by his
gravesite you know with his sister and
and and she said one thing to me that
cleared it all up and that was that Andy
wasn’t ever part of the club so he
created his own Club that no one else
could be a part of because I was fully
you know compared to just play out you
know stand-up comedy and comedy clubs
yeah but there’s something within you
that constantly pushed the edges of the
envelope wherever you were well or at
least took advantage of the
opportunities that came around and a lot
of it has to do with you know just the
courage to jump in I mean you know to do
films that are out of your so-called
power Ally as they call it is it takes
nerve you know so I have the nerve you
know and we’ll see if I have the goods
but I have the nerve and yeah I I’m just
excited really about always changing
about crossing me back and forth across
the river and throwing the hounds off
the trail
I love that just whatever you think that
just what we think we’ve got you we know
you you’re off on another route
absolutely and if I feel like I’ve been
figured out boy look out I will become
something completely different you know
maybe I might might not want to become
something completely different but
express something completely dinner I
always felt like if the world is going
crazy I’ll be calm and if and if they’re
calm I’ll be the one hanging
I mean The Truman Show was a was a
another moment where you know I had to
kind of deal with well you’re not
allowed to do that
you know you’ve presented yourself one
way and you know it’s it’s a tough thing
to convince people that there’s
something more or that they might want
to see something different but I’ve
always believed all the way along I
believed that that it was about a spark
right it was about who you are as a
person it’s about your soul it’s about
not necessarily mean you do what you do
so well but there is something about you
that that is attractive to people in a
way that they want to sit and watch you
for an hour and and and listen to you
and list your insights but it’s about
you and who you are
what is it worth what is it worth it
that’s that’s what I’ve come to so many
times in my career in my life is that
I’ve I’ve said the safe road is is is
gonna pay off there are there are many
payoffs to it but I can’t be there and
and and have my soul be on a completely
different track I just it’s always worth
losing to me it’s always worth risking
and if if if this other side of me is
not a popular one in the scheme of
things as far as movie tickets go then
you know what I’ll find a way to sneak
it in there out out out I’ll make a plan
I will I will show myself you know I
will find a way and even if even if I’m
not as popular I will live in that area
I will expand myself I mean I have I
started out with many many desires as
far as as far as this business goes and
I’ve so surpassed all of them that I
that it it’s not as meaningful to me
anymore I really love the work itself
I’ve examined myself on several
occasions why am I really doing this am
I doing this because I want to be famous
I think there was an element to that
when I started out I wanted to be a
Rainmaker we should talk about battling
it further what does that mean that
means I think I wasn’t necessarily seen
as much or as intently as I wanted to be
when I was a kid I had I had a job at
least in my own mind and that was to
make my mother feel better she was kind
of a very ill in many ways and so it was
to make her feel better and I think
ultimately I imitated my father he was a
very funny guy but also I felt some need
and maybe I don’t know whether they
created it or I created it but I felt a
need to make them feel that their life
was worthwhile that they did something
special just by the very fact that they
brought me into the world so from a very
young age I wanted to convince them that
I was a miracle and then I wanted to
convince the world that I was a miracle
and and now I want to convince the world
that I’m just like them so you went from
commissioned first-year miracle and then
you are just like them yes and how does
that play out today in terms of
convincing the world you are just like
them that you are well what I’m finding
is is an interesting thing because I
have a lot of people asking me why are
you are you afraid that people won’t
accept you and I know that in my life
and at least in my you know the circle
people I know and know my friends that
know my work it seems like any of the
people I talked to like you it seems
like people are almost waiting for it
that they’ve suspected that there’s
another level to me in there and they’re
kind of intrigued and interested in what
that might be
[Music]
it’s it’s it’s that and it’s an
addiction obviously I mean I’d love
addiction to just knowing yourself yeah
an addiction to trying to figure out and
maybe this is an impossible task but you
know everybody’s looking for bliss you
know in some way or another and I think
I’ve come to the realization lately that
that that bliss comes in waves and there
and everybody gets a certain amount of
it but but in between it’s just hard
work being in this body and that it is
the unwise person to expect Bliss will
be there all day on solute Lee and
absolutely but you look for it you look
for and you wonder why you’re off the
beam all the time whatever so I’m
constantly examining myself I probably
do it too much I’ve always over thought
everything and when you’re reading
Emerson and you read yeah yeah all right
which is like the big the big the big
thing for me you know in life right now
is the the excerpt from compensation yes
a he did on compensation where it talks
about that man would I recognize I would
see the mermaids head but not the
dragon’s tail and these are this is
something that happens over and over and
over in my life and relationships and in
in choices that I make professionally
you know a lot of times you just don’t
want to believe in the bat but the bat
is there you know the negativity is
there or the the the obvious drawback to
the situation is there but you just go I
want and and that’s that comes down to
thy will be done and everything biblical
it’s you know it’s so I’m always
struggling with these concepts it’s to
my desire is my only problem
this world your desire yes and to do
your appetite my appetite yeah
absolutely yeah to prove everything and
to be everything with you it’s our
intention our intention is everything
nothing happens on this planet without
it not one single thing has ever been
accomplished without intention so I
started thinking about my life and I
started thinking about this conference
and what we’re about and and I looked
back and I thought well I was two people
my whole life I was in the living room
entertaining people being a monkey you
know doing my thing for the company and
and trying to relieve my mother who was
suffering she had arthritis and Vitus
and everything everything under the Sun
that was nagging at her and she was
depressed and I wanted her to be free
and I wanted her to realize that her
life was worth something because she
gave birth to someone who was worth
something
and then I would go into my room and I
would sit
with the legal pad I was a little kid I
would sit there but I would try to
figure out what it meant what it was all
about why are we here what is this and
one day I read something from Buddha
that said that all spirituality is about
relieving suffering and I suddenly
realized that’s what I’m doing in the
other room
and and I’m aligned
you know this my purpose is aligned with
this so I felt incredibly lucky I lose
sight of that all the time to get caught
up in different concerns and ego
concerns
but I’m so lucky to be a part of this
community and to to do something that is
a value
I really cherish that and we are all one
thing it really is true can I speak to
that the person in the last row in the
very last seat against the wall is there
is there someone back there that can say
hello what’s your name
Andrea are you aware that do you have
the distinct palpable feeling that your
intention created this evening as well
as Melissa’s do you understand that that
all of this this entire event is
happening inside you
[Applause]
[Music]
we’ll just try to feel it for a second
because it’s a trip man
some people go to the Super Bowl I am
the Super Bowl man I swear my friends
are all going to see that play that was
great I’m like yeah but the energy
coming out of me right now man is
unbelievable I’m just sitting there
I’m the stadium on the vendors outside
I’m the crack dealer on the corner I’m
everything man there’s no end to it and
it’s so much fun it’s so much fun so I
hope you can feel that and I hope you
understand that you are one of the
creators of this evening that your
intentions and your desires created this
evening as well and then I hope you are
able to ask yourself why did I get such
a crappy seat and be okay with it
I mean you’re in the last row in the
last seat and yet you created this
that’s got to be it’s a really selfless
thing to do
so understand based on some things that
I read about you you know that in the
end it’s really a lot about self-respect
yes it is because you know yourself yeah
and it is well yeah and self-respect is
certainly one of the major problems in
the world self-esteem is is the reason
for most ills and you know desiring what
we don’t have I needs to Holderness me
or I am Peter Ashe hold on yes how did
you mean that well in in the respect
that he has this yearning this yearning
that that is more important to him again
false gods right when you put something
so in the forefront of your life some
desire in the forefront of your life
that everything else starts to suffer
I understand that I understand that
because I’ve gone that way and had to
pull myself back or whatever but it’s
the yearning that that that is can be
something very positive it can create
wonderful things but when it when it
makes you negate your life and the
people in your life it becomes or you
know again like when it makes you bear
false witness you know and sell somebody
out it’s it’s just not worth having you
know that that yearning is the tough
part
the yearning to to kind of have that but
not make it completely consume you and
that would be the selling out of his
friendly out of his friends we’re not
guilty of anything and he’s living in
know he’s living in a place of fear of
loss right you know and that’s always a
dangerous character the guy who’s afraid
of loss is a dangerous guy because he’s
the guy in Hollywood the stabs you in
the back or you know turns on somebody
or whatever they you know trying to
protect it’s you know story if you know
a man’s fear then you can conquer him
something say truly I mean that’s what
the blacklist era was about some
somebody you know McCarthy sat back and
said my gosh what a what a wonderful
fear to take advantage of and and to
bring this up to power through it
you know what I believe in the universe
I believe in the horn of plenty I
believe in the cornucopia you know so
I’m not afraid of Tom Cruise and what
his movies do and I can enjoy it and I
can enjoy Russell Crowe and because
there is so much in the universe we all
you know can feed from it and we all we
all you know enough for everybody is
that where you are in your head at this
yes I’m sure some season they’ve got a
Russell Crowe as a movie out no cruise
as a movie yet you’re saying there’s
enough I’m perfectly happy with what
absolutely Jim has been given so much I
mean III would be a green bore at the
trough of life you know if I if I
questioned if you wanted at all oh my
gosh I mean you know I I sit down with
friends of mine who are in the perfect
in the acting profession and and they
say you know these are really good
actors and they say man no one’s really
getting the chance to do what you’re
getting to do you know I mean this is a
it’s quite an arc going on that time and
time again I feel so lucky to have it
but you had to bring something otherwise
they would not continue to give you the
chance and you obviously recognize that
you have to allow yourself to be seen
that’s the risk the risk is especially
for somebody who’s comedic yeah who has
that that weapon and its disposal just
to go off and rift yeah yeah to risk
being seen is the toughest thing in the
world we’re all very shy people you know
people who do comedy we’re shy and the
emotion is right there on the surface if
you prick me with a pin I would fly
around the room you know so that’s the
risk is that you are showing them
yourself you’re your true authentic self
and the chances of being rejected are
much more important you know much more
terrifying
you
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