there’s a different skill and power
skill you can always improve with
practice with repetition with beating on
your craft if every day you woke up and
you worked on writing your book you
would get better at it tell us what you
were born with and for writing this you
just have to have the creativity the
imagination desire to to birth something
so you have the talent so then the skill
the skills just doing the work but the
way through it is to expect a son what
if I suck you do great
expect a sock and then just keep going
yeah what’s up how you feeling how can I
help I would say that terrified here
today and I am absolutely I feel like
I’ve been outed yeah I’ve never been
this public of course some of my friends
know that secret little desire yeah
but to say it in a room full of people
you have to be outed by you right
actually I am terrified just because so
what was the idea how long I wanted to
do it and how long we have it right I
mean it isn’t ten years it’s more than
that it’s I mean I can tell you I was 16
talking to my best friend in high school
and it was this was what I was gonna do
it’s gonna be some part of my life maybe
not like my full-time job right there
was gonna be writing and I carried it in
through college and then I don’t know
life happened and got complicated and
you let it you know so it always kind of
sat there and we could find lots of
journals that would say very similar to
what the one says that I have like I
want to do the restart and I’m going to
and then nothing so so you wrote last
night I did I mean a lot of starts you
know I wrote a little little story my
father I grew up with a little red bird
I would come home from school like I
would say well the little red bird was
at your school today and I was like oh
my god I better tell him anything and
everything before the bird does okay
that’s a little guilt trip which I
didn’t realize but I I would just
tell him everything and I think through
that I almost learned that like
everything was gonna be okay I mean they
never killed me you’re beefier you know
right but it was okay for him to know
even if I screwed up or was bad or I
talked too much big shocker so I just
wrote a little clip about that and just
some characters rolling around in my
head you know so a few single pages of
beginnings of characters or interactions
between a couple characters and no I
just have any let myself fully play like
that
good did you write this morning I did I
left early out of fear of being late or
finding it’s just how much rather sit in
your parking lot in it or read or
whatever all right so I found a little
diner and I sat in the corner thanks
take care of the student issue and then
I yeah yeah so so what is writing I mean
everybody can enjoy writing but it’s
obviously extra special for you what is
right I mean to you I think I’ve been
getting closer to I want there to be I
want you to walk away feeling something
or looking at something differently or a
realization for yourself or about the
person you just read about or I don’t
know and I and I want to my ultimate
dream would really be I’ve gone for
years to something we have called the
English Festival I thought of a nerdy
event kids read all these books and then
they go and they participate in like
games and talks and writing contests and
I always go and I always listen to the
author and I sit there every year and
I’m like one thought to be I I really
think I would like to write even to that
age group to that you know young adult
age group and I want to be up there and
I want to share what my stories mean and
my process as a writer and how I got
there and it’s funny that you’ll never
do it though right to that secret I
would do book talks with my high school
students and I would hear them talking
about authors that were rejected and
rejected or rejected and I’m like see
it’s just normal like you just need to
do it and get rejected and know what’s
what’s the message that you want them to
hear from me yeah and your books like
you wonder who said you want to reach
those kids I think like I was very much
tomboy very much a student athlete
I boxed myself into that you know I
tried to be normal and tried to go to
the party and you know and and just it
was like my peers wouldn’t let me be
anybody else and I quit fighting I think
that’s who I am now I would have
continued going and been like screw you
you know but then I just let that define
me and I think I’d like to you know I’ve
even thought about you quickly quit
fighting for what letting them see that
there’s more to me than that like they
knew that part of me and like that was
all I kind of let them know I didn’t
continue going and I can be funny and
super social and I’m a great planner and
I like throw parties and but I didn’t do
any of that I just I think that was how
old Oh with high school high school yeah
I played sports hardcore I play college
sports I just let that be me for a long
time so I think that’s what filled all
that like Harvard all these things I
wanted to do is so your daughter’s now
playing basketball she’s my other
daughter graduated from playing Division
is she tomboy as well they’ve mastered
it I feel like I got them to understand
that when you step on the court or in
between the lines you’re a player and
play the game and when you step off
you’re a girl and they’re way better and
all that like they’re they’re pretty and
they you know I mean they’re they can be
ladylike but they can also they’re
competitive and athletic – and did you
want to be all of them or you just
wanted to be the tomboy or no I I think
that I grew up playing with the boys and
playing hard and I don’t think that my
mother was not that mother you know like
she didn’t kind of help me get to that
part I was my dad was very involved and
so we used to work on that part of my
life I was the girl they put on the
toilet and did the makeover – okay when
I went to college and I would walk out I
always felt weird that Betsy would stop
me and like do something on me like you
know right so I just never got
comfortable even now I work harder to
like be comfortable I know it’s really
weird
well no it’s great what what is what’s a
comfortable that you’re striving for
being a little softer you know I think I
can come off pretty intense and pretty
hardcore and in your face and I I can
intimidate a lot of people there’s a lot
of people I can see them physically
sometimes take a step back from me my
friend that was with me last night
actually has a signing she just kind of
goes their eyes get big and I know that
I’m too much okay because I talk fast
and I’m get really excited and I’m gonna
do this and you know I can do anything
for you it’s just for me I haven’t been
fighting very hard for because if you
told me you wanted to do something I
would be right behind you making it
happen because because I don’t know fear
that I can’t you were talking to the
girl behind me and I really wanted to
interrupt or raise my hand when you’re
so what if they say that about you so
what you kept pushing her on that okay I
thought well what if they say you suck
can you do yeah what if what you wrote
so sucked great right but that’s like
what if at the end of the day this thing
that I want to do so bad like I saw I’m
not even good at it that’s when you will
suck all right like at the start of
everything you will suck you’ve got
you’ve got a you’ve got a huge head
start in that you’ve you’ve been going
to festivals and you’ve been reading and
you’ve you know you’ve taught some of
this stuff but you’re still gonna suck
you can’t expect your first book to be
amazing right and to get I’m just afraid
that like as a skill set you know but
that’s the difference between there’s a
difference when skill and talent skill
you can always improve with practice
with repetition with beating on your
craft if every day you woke up and you
worked on writing your book you would
get better at it and then you read a
back write you write it you read it back
and say how could this be better right
and you probably find in multiple ways
that it can be better and you edit it
and fix it and come back to it and if
you get to the point where then you
can’t you don’t know what how to make it
better then maybe a second eye someone
you look up to respect coaching whatever
but there’s a difference between the
skill and the talent the talents what
you were born with I mean for writing
just you just have to have the the
creativity the imaginations desire
to birth something so you have the
talent so then the skilled you the
skills just doing the work but the way
through it is to expect us so what if I
suck you do great
expect a suck and then just keep going
yeah how do you get through how do you
teach right absolutely so you know this
is hard so put your hands back on the
keyboard you can do it but doing it this
is why you’re so good at it I push in
others because you ultimately need it
for yourself right I think sometimes
when people push me I push harder and
then a lot of people of course I say
something and you come back at me I
think some people don’t know what to
come back at me with sure you know and
so some of the things that you said last
night I think the thing that I didn’t
want to do when you said stand up and do
this or stand up and do that is the very
thing that broke through yeah some of
the ice you know like which point any of
them I mean when you said do push-ups s
okay yeah um telling somebody you know
something about you that you really fear
people know or I mean anything honestly
the whole thing to confess out loud yeah
I’ve never little people would say they
kind of knew that about me so just say
it and do it and I am terrified but
terrified all morning a bit terrified
too sanguine almost money I mean just
like oh my god I’m gonna have to do this
now like but and then I just shut up and
do it you know it’s that push through so
there’s a couple ways through it it’d be
it the trick is to be able to catch it
because you’ll do it by default and
you’ll win by default
you’ll win with your friends by default
and then this catching yourself is am i
this is actually the best thing for me
and then whether it’s remembering that
seventeen-year-old version of you or ten
years ago or seeing that author who’s
speaking on stage you want to be like
it’s like I’m not doing the thing that I
want to be right my actions don’t match
my ambitions I mean I say it all the
time I don’t want to be 90 sitting on my
porch unable to do anything right God
why didn’t I you know how stupid and I’m
so upset disappointed if anyway I love
wouldn’t do that exact thing and yet but
you are doing it exactly that’s well
that’s what you’re doing right now and
honestly I think you know I believe
everything does happen for a reason and
how weird but the day I’m coming down to
see you but that’s the book I picked up
to see those pages I’m even there’s like
a little poem inside it
I wrote that almost exact poem okay
three weeks ago I mean if you put them
side-by-side you’d be like holy I
what’s changed and I so desperately
really want people to be like damn
where is she been you know but like
finally done something different get out
of the loop you know even in admitting
that to the people around you will
actually help inspire them to do more
work to so it’s not just the just a push
right but it’s also the bone really did
say well you’re not perfect but you’re
working through your issues too and
you’re afraid and terrified but you’re
still gonna go off and do it it’s the I
understand like I understand what you
went through you’re afraid that meet me
like doing this tour was afraid but it’s
like but I’m gonna do it is not so bad
what you do of course and there’s like I
gotta do something bigger next yeah
right yeah I gotta push harder on the
next one even already think for the next
stop and Cincinnati’s like hey what do I
do to make it even better right and more
different that’s like the first lesson I
teach you today is not nearly as good as
the sixth one I mean I listen to you but
you have all the answers right you know
so so start backed with you have like
what’s the mission you want to reach
high school kids I think that would be
my first place to start right because it
was a big deal to me you know even well
it’s right here it’s on your it’s on
your that’s right your necklaces you are
enough that’s basically a message so
it’s your message to yourself
even back then it’s like you’re enough
you can be a Tom girl a tomboy it’s okay
mm-hmm
I mean I can admit that I would not be
here I’ve accomplished the things I did
without my father behind me pushing me
at the time as we most people do but you
look back and get perspective on it you
returns well that was a lot but that was
kind of how I felt like I would never be
good enough so I’ve also tried to
balance that in my life now where while
pushing someone I can still make sure
that they do understand that you know
you’re doing great you’re doing fine
I do believe in effort I’ve said that
forever in the day you know I will
reward your effort even if you are not
that great at it but doesn’t made the
effort to try to be to meet my
requirements or whatever okay I dunno I
just don’t do it but so it’s the
emotional commitment so understanding
there’s a couple ways to do it right the
first is understanding the mission so if
you want if you think about like what’s
the most painful moment from you being
16 or 17 or where like you really needed
to hear that you are enough message I
remember in eighth grade winning an
award that only boys had one okay or
it’s and being athletic again and that
was kind of a big deal and the year
after a boy and a girl got it and I
remember like because it was what smells
painful moment well that was horrible
okay all the boys that theater peers
okay here 13 14 years old and you just
want to be accepted and normal I never
felt accepted at normal good it was like
it was a line drawn in the sand it felt
like to me and then I kept working at it
because I didn’t find success in it and
I did love it but I felt like when I
made that choice I kind of walked away
from making that effort Hey it’s painful
it really was I here I didn’t I didn’t
feel like I I really fit in so I just
did everything else you know so it’s
remembering that girl
when you find people who feel like
they’re trying to accomplish something
but they’re getting rejected and they’re
getting
ostracized great helping that person out
will fill you up and you can do that
through one-on-one and and you’re
teaching and you’re doing it but you’re
you’re just dancing around the thing
which is actually writing I would like
to be the person where somebody picked
up the book and identified with it so
much it changes their life yes there was
at least they reflected enough to
realize that they had some power and is
it fiction or nonfiction that’s an
interesting question or her mix loosely
based off I think I mean I’ve always
taught students that you know whatever
you write you’re in it I mean something
your courses your heart something yes so
I feel like maybe the character would
secretly be parts of me right you know I
don’t know that it would be exactly me
there’d have to be some fiction to that
I just think yeah you’re making a story
but I think that the overall message
would be my message and then ultimately
what I think I want to do and whatever I
write I want there to be something
that’s in there that you walk away with
going huh okay you know you took it with
you but that’s actually the thing that
you want to do and all the other stuff
that you have been doing is helpful but
it just like barely because when you
working with the kids I’m sure you feel
great when you when you push them
absolutely right and you see the results
and they’re growing and from day one
compared to when they leave you you’ve
probably had a much greater impact than
most teachers since so like I wouldn’t
be surprised if for a lot of the kids if
we asked them 20 years later like who
their favorite teacher of all time is a
bunch of the would say you it’s one of
the questions I ask when people figure
out the one word like who’s your
favorite teacher of all time who’s your
favorite teacher of all time besides
your dad it’s not really your dad but my
teacher teacher in school yeah might be
mrs. Howell she was an English teacher
okay but why it’s not good she taught
you English what was it about her that
um she pushed me in my writing big time
and I needed that and I wanted
I was hungry for that and I liked how
she pushed me the direction she pushed
me what she wanted from me so how did
she do it that you liked it versus other
people I like the no-nonsense approach
kind of what you’re doing to me right
now okay there’s no emotion you know I
mean like there isn’t I’m seeing you’re
offending me yeah it was like she came
at me how I needed to become a yeah
business you know and it was that
important to me I wanted it to be part
of my business so I she’s had a huge
impact on me lots of most of my writing
teachers are the ones I was always the
closest to in college I had someone
extremely close to me that I kind of
lost I couldn’t find her again and but
she made me feel like a writer you know
like I could do it but then I lost it
you know thanks because you don’t keep
doing it every day you’re not around it
so you have to inject it into daily yes
so what you’re doing with the kids in
the school is great and did you go into
teaching wanting to teach so like I want
to be a teacher
yes I never wanted to be I still don’t I
don’t want to be a minister I do but way
back when you first got started
Oh like you’re graduating in college you
got options white teacher coach last
teacher you know I did English because
my passion for reading and writing and I
wanted to share that yeah you know most
people don’t read a book to really see
all the awesomeness that’s there and so
I’d like to slow down and help them see
what they were missing and why teach
over right um she wanted to be a writer
for longer well I always tell my kids
even my own children like you can’t eat
the paper like they’re at you know I
felt it was something you should do and
work at until maybe it happens but then
real it gets in the way you gotta make
Paycheck you gotta you know you should
see the awesome list I have in my
notebook right now all the things I have
to do okay and writing isn’t on there
that’s all the stuff I will do before I
even think about doing that for myself
of course all the day all the little
things will take over if you don’t block
out it’s the exercise he went through
yesterday
listen seems to me and let me let me
teaching was the safe thing to do is the
easy thing it was a easy choice it’s
it’s it’s you get to do what you like
you like you get to push people you get
a paycheck it’s just it’s and it’s a
nice job you have it forever
it’s like job security great benefits
and awesome you get to work with kids
and help them but there’s something
better because their writing wasn’t as
clear a path you took the easier safer
one which is still good I always thought
to this my teaching schedule would allow
me to write funny I thought that but
then I actually didn’t use that schedule
to do that you know like it’s good job
cuz I do have it there’s some freedom in
that schedule and you know and what
you’ve done in your teaching is twisted
it to still fit the curriculum and like
what you have to get done but you’ve
twisted it to then do the thing that you
really want to do which is help inspire
people to feel like they’re enough you
twisted a typical job where there’s
confinements and you’re you’re not gonna
not teach the material but you’ve made
it your own
oh because that’s what you more more
than one I’m sure that’s grown too from
when you’ve started teaching but more
than most teachers you’ve really made
the class experience with you your own
and different and you want students feel
like they’re enough yes it feels good
that they want to be in my room
right it’s not because I’m not doing
anything it’s not because oh this is
just a free zone do whatever you want
but there is a I feel like I found the
delicate balance of how to push them
just enough well they’re a little
uncomfortable because I’m I’m pushing at
them but that they like that I have
those expectations for them they want
that teaching for you getting into it
was it was a be opportunity and you
turned it into an a-minus because of how
you customize it to fit your life and
your mission so you got an a-minus and
it’s like it’s great it’s an a-minus
they’re writing the z+ you don’t have to
get there it absolutely is
I like I I I said something last night
about you know I’ve started over and
over and over again this is gonna be I’m
gonna get my health together and I’m
gonna finally start writing in and so
quickly fail us because you just let the
things come in front of it you just let
it happen you don’t fight for it you
don’t keep it on the schedule you know
something else slid in there you just
let it go for myself not for this but if
you know all those things that are out
there write down what you want it’s the
same freaking picture every time I know
exactly what I want I can see it but I
am NOT doing the day-to-day working out
there and the path is unclear clear how
do you go and become a best-selling
author sure it’s like how what are the
steps after that huh do you get an agent
eatery Yeah right
I mean yes of course you know last night
right before anything yeah the momentum
creates the next step the 2% difference
and figures out how do we get to the
next 2% and keep building momentum so
reminding yourself at the mission of
what you’re trying to do is important
like I’d figure out how do i how do i
remind myself that daily I do it myself
it’s me and Nina and Danny on this tour
you know and I’ve got a team but the
important role that my work plays in
people’s daily lives I forget because I
wake up when I just in front of a camera
start talking right but but doing that
is actually cheating my mission of what
I want to do and we want to grow after a
my myself that a quarter of a billion
people you know quarter billion views on
the channel like it’s in a positive
message every single day people make
this part of the morning routine
teachers use it to show their kids so
that’s I have to remind myself of that
because that makes it more important to
a job would even be a job but just more
when you are the furthest ahead of your
peer group it’s easy to coast so it’s
easy for me to code it’s easy for me to
just keep doing the same thing I’m doing
and I love it it’s great but it’s
knowing that you’re capable of more
you’re capable of more if you a little
more and so the reminder of I want to
serve these people like these people
need you my mom would always say if you
have the ability of the responsibility
you have the ability to touch millions
of kids across the country and so you
have the responsibility to do it in a
positive way and a kick forward not like
kickdown you suck right because you’re
doing a good job
with your 30 kids at a time or 60 or 100
or 200 right but no but but but not it’s
not a not at scale not a knife you can
have an impact in your school and that’s
amazing that’s great and that ripples
out but your lessons could be reached
could be impacting millions of people
through your stories which is actually
the A+ version of what you want to be
doing this mean you have to give up
teaching or quit but but you need to go
off and do that version mmm
so there’s that there’s dipper gret your
hundred year old version looking back
like I still didn’t do it I just thought
Jensen Jarrell last week okay but she
mentioned she kept saying it more than
once like you’re going to die I mean the
same idea you never say wait to get like
yeah you will not live forever you don’t
know when the end is gonna happen and I
remember writing down do you want to die
with that book inside you you know great
so you you put on the wall every day
yeah like right next to your bed you
wake up when you see it I think the
secret is for me when you talk about
morning routine which I knew ya had done
it yeah no all about it is I have to do
things first because as the day unravels
you know something happens in the spot
you had is now another spot in I think
if it’s like exercising to you know if
you do it first it’s done for the day
you don’t have to worry about squeezing
it in
that’s the priority you know so what do
you think the what’s gonna push you that
hasn’t pushed it before to follow
through the commitment and letting
everybody know that that commitment is
there but that is what I’m doing the
door is closed and you know and I’m
going to set up you know like you talked
about I need to have that environment
and I know exactly where I want to be I
know exactly what it needs to look like
to kind of you know that commitment but
what’s like waving publicly like you’re
gonna post on Facebook I’m gonna finish
I’ve never just felt free to just write
I mean to me that’s the hundred percent
I just want to do the two great I just
want to start putting some words down on
paper and hopefully that story will just
start to unfold on its own I think when
I put too much pressure on me to get the
book chopped there right now so how
about accountability for doing the the
morning routine like how much you want
to write in the morning what’s the goal
I know an hour every morning I know so
from 6:00 to 7:00 shower and get to work
and I’d be the perfect start to my day
great so so who can help hold you
accountable to that that guy that sleeps
next to me okay I think I need to let
him know the seriousness of it you know
is he up for it I think so I mean I
actually have even said to my friend
that I brought with me she’s a great
account accountability partner for me
and I said are you willing to do that
you know are you willing to you know hey
let me see what you wrote
or hey how much did you write or you
know and I think maybe knowing that
someone’s checking in on me it’s not
like just yourself where you know and
tell me if it’s crap okay and if it’s
good tell me what’s good I should go
farther on that I don’t anything you
know just a momentum like your husband
may not be the best critic of your
writing style right but you might make
sure up in the room yeah I think he has
to help make sure that you know and if
you’ll figure out how to make it better
right pretty quickly too like if you
wrote every day for the next year you
may not love what you’re writing right
now you might be even a little
disappointed in yourself right like this
is what I can write okay but by the end
of the year you’ll start to really
impress yourself there’s times now when
I go back and peek it something I’ve
written and I’ve honestly been like who
wrote that like it doesn’t I can’t
believe that that was me like that I can
see what you’re saying like there is
growth just as a as a person and you
know so I’m ready that same approach of
I don’t want to think about the whole
book I just want to get momentum built a
2% mmm same thing of the quality of the
work yeah and you’re gonna keep getting
better mm-hmm I’m ready that’s the first
step it’s huge
yeah and then making sure you have the
time and so like having a supportive
partner is super helpful you’ve been
pushed by other people who are you know
direct and blunt and believed in you and
I’m excited it’s just about getting up
every day and doing the work and it’s a
new schedule and has to be feasible
routine I mean the only other thing I
would add is if you let yourself down
and you don’t follow through for some
reason then it falls into two buckets
one some major life situations happened
that is uncontrollable which will happen
life will pitch in the face or something
if that happens to me I I’m gentle on
myself so if if my mom got into an
accident and had to go to the hospital
I would cancel my whole tour and go
right right if it happening right now
like I love you thank you I have to go
right and like maybe you don’t
understand that
some you know balls will drop but like
that has to be taken care of right right
most the time it’s not that most of the
time it’s something else right yeah and
in that case I’m really hard on myself
and if I ever miss something then the
next day would have to be the greatest
day of all time so if you miss a day
then it’s like I need to write for three
hours tomorrow and I don’t care if I’m
tired and I don’t care if it’s crap
writing but I’m just gonna do it because
I’m the kind of person who follows
through you start training yourself that
I’m the kind of person who follows
through so being on yourself is usually
a good idea but not always sometimes you
have to be gentle sometimes some people
then bury themselves solo and feel like
crap because I didn’t write but like
okay but I was in a hospital or
something yeah it’s okay right yeah
just most of the time it’s not okay you
just let in life get in the way it’s not
okay because that you you know had some
late office party or something right
like are you proud of it yeah exactly
you get up and you do the writing I woke
up and get my workout I was tired we
stayed up late last night where had the
energy from the event right right and
you’re not thinking okay what I bring
Cincinnati how do we make it better and
alarm goes off great I’m up let’s do
some hit workout this morning oh got a
brilliant if I workout these guys are
sleeping and then I went nina Volkov is
able it’s gonna coffee like Tim Hortons
oh I’m in let’s go and it wasn’t the
greatest morning routine their morning
workout that I’ve done but it’s better
than zero and I feel great that I did it
more than letting it lapse and then
trying to find some time later on for me
to do it and then interviews and all
those other staff right and then I feel
like crap because they didn’t do it so
sitting down and writing for an hour
even if you’re not inspired like that
can’t be a reason for you not to write I
don’t what I’m gonna write I don’t know
puke on paper yeah but even as you’re
walking the dogs in the morning you
could be thinking okay well actually
that’s great clear the head get the
energy where’s my story going what are
we gonna talk about in this episode or
this this page
for my book your one word have you read
it I have okay that was two books I cut
half the book out of that book you do
that yes I do that no no I did that you
did so first of all one’s right in the
book my my team the agent who was
representing me didn’t think it was a
book didn’t like the concept like you’re
wrong where it’s not a book like what do
you mean it’s like a it’s like a I don’t
know it’s like a ten page handout or
something it’s a little workbook it’s
not a book like no no it’s a book yeah
like how are you gonna write like you
need to write seventy thousand words
yeah I can do that no you can’t you’re
one word no way this is just a concept
it’s a little it’s a small idea yeah so
I said well was I got I’ll show you that
this could be a book but more I just
believed in it I I try to operate more
from a place of the positivity then like
the negativity of like I’m gonna prove
you wrong but that can still be super
helpful right like as long as you don’t
live there constantly yeah and so I
wrote the book and I spent I don’t know
how long write in the book I don’t
remember now I don’t know six months or
plus and I wrote one hundred and forty
thousand words not to prove that it
could be a long book just because that’s
what I thought we need it hmm I felt
like that was a complete book and
everything that I needed in there
and then I did a test audience and most
test audiences most publishing companies
don’t use a test audience just if the
publisher likes it great we we go right
you guys don’t use a test audience like
it seems crazy so I gave it to my test
audience half of the more entrepreneurs
half of them were not entrepreneurs
thirty people asked him to read this
giant foot a couple weeks and give me
feedback and then I went through each
one and then I had a master copy that
anytime somebody underlined or made a
note I would underline in my master copy
I don’t care what they write right it’s
your own it’s shown your journey
exactly you liked it you highlighted it
so it meant something to you right and
then I had my master copy and anything
that didn’t get underlined to highlight
it I cut from the book I loved every
page of that book right
like that’s that was my soul in that
book yeah but a half the half of it
great I cut half of it yeah because
people didn’t like they liked it but
they didn’t like it enough to underline
it so I’m gonna trim that and then I
never used that other half like that’s
that’s it every video that I make on my
channel I love Allah every new series
that I want to launch I love but most
series don’t stake yeah they just people
don’t like it enough and goes away like
okay yes on next go boom we’re making
new videos let’s go right so it’s
releasing the imperfect you know you
might love it you should love it and
it’s okay people don’t
you’re still enough right okay
everyday okay one hour I love your
energy
I love how willing you were to just
share and be open and I think a lot of
people will draw strength and courage
from your story I think there’s a lot of
people who are sitting on ideas maybe
maybe for 10 plus years or even for
three months they’re sitting on the air
their ideas and they’re afraid for a
whole bunch of different reasons to come
out and do it fear doesn’t make sense
when you say it back to me I mean it
sounds dumb I know that but it’s just
funny that when you are alone with
yourself that voice is so damn loud it’s
screaming you know and it’s hard to
silence it
I want to coach myself the way I would
coach you or talk to the kids or anybody
you know I hear the way I talk to my own
children I think God are you listening
like that’s what you need to hear you
know I’ve never ever let them do this
the more you speak it out loud though
the less the control has over you if
you’re sharing it with your husband or
show me their kids he’s like mom what
are you talking about you could go crush
a Kobe your writer yeah
right of course you could do it and then
the
voice that sold out inside your head now
is not as loud but I think your journeys
super inspiring and willing to face
those demons and tackle them
I do identify with you in your head on
approach I mean I say it in other parts
you know I tell people I’m gonna win
like and but I need to apply that here
I’m gonna win I will defeat this monster
that I’ve created
it is hard though and it is like it just
feels like a confessional I think it
does like to confess that you are really
that person I don’t think most people
would see me that way
you know like the way that I’m talking
about the the DAO thing in the the lack
of self-confidence I don’t think I come
off that way
to my students or even my friends but
like me but that’s actually the only way
like to be the person that you come off
as I’m not trying to be this my I did a
podcast in Pittsburgh when we got there
and the guys were like we want to take
the shine off like I want to see behind
the scenes and take the shine of the
great like that’s all I want to do yeah
cuz I’m scared and I’m nervous and I’m
failing all over the place I don’t want
people to think that it’s perfect I hate
the perfect Instagram stuff
I love taking the shine off I don’t feel
like I’m any different here then then on
stage or on camera or my friendships or
relationships I just try to be Evan
wherever I go it’s more difficult in
some situations if it’s a scary
situation something I haven’t
encountered before the nerves and you I
might be more you know apprehensive
easier it is it is you just are capable
of doing like the you are a knife thing
we’ll be there with you for life that
that fear but you’re able to conquer
bigger and bigger versions of it right
so the first time you get asked to go
and when you first submit your book to
publishers you
go panic you get rejection letters
you’ll you’ll be upset or when you
actually wait and then you get on stage
and you’re doing that next speaking
event you’ll be terrified and then then
it won’t be that you’ll feel on stage I
will hold my to be this person I’m not
enough but then but you’ll be nervous
doing it the the you are not enough will
will rear its head again and then you’ll
do it and then see the impact you had on
the people in the say it’ll be there
with you for life you just can conquer
bigger bigger versions of it and then
you’re just you’re just stretching your
comfort zone yeah so it’s not you don’t
need to feel bad if you feel like you’re
not enough it’s always it’s always going
to be there that’s okay and now you’re
gonna help other people to feel like
they’re enough to write a little bit
though when you drove that you drove
past from the like all right we’re here
it’s happening and it wasn’t 60 people I
so Cokie thank you
if you want to get coached by me one on
one to help you build your brain and
make money as a thought leader check out
my next workshop in Toronto the link is
right there next to me continue to believe and I’ll see you there
skill you can always improve with
practice with repetition with beating on
your craft if every day you woke up and
you worked on writing your book you
would get better at it tell us what you
were born with and for writing this you
just have to have the creativity the
imagination desire to to birth something
so you have the talent so then the skill
the skills just doing the work but the
way through it is to expect a son what
if I suck you do great
expect a sock and then just keep going
yeah what’s up how you feeling how can I
help I would say that terrified here
today and I am absolutely I feel like
I’ve been outed yeah I’ve never been
this public of course some of my friends
know that secret little desire yeah
but to say it in a room full of people
you have to be outed by you right
actually I am terrified just because so
what was the idea how long I wanted to
do it and how long we have it right I
mean it isn’t ten years it’s more than
that it’s I mean I can tell you I was 16
talking to my best friend in high school
and it was this was what I was gonna do
it’s gonna be some part of my life maybe
not like my full-time job right there
was gonna be writing and I carried it in
through college and then I don’t know
life happened and got complicated and
you let it you know so it always kind of
sat there and we could find lots of
journals that would say very similar to
what the one says that I have like I
want to do the restart and I’m going to
and then nothing so so you wrote last
night I did I mean a lot of starts you
know I wrote a little little story my
father I grew up with a little red bird
I would come home from school like I
would say well the little red bird was
at your school today and I was like oh
my god I better tell him anything and
everything before the bird does okay
that’s a little guilt trip which I
didn’t realize but I I would just
tell him everything and I think through
that I almost learned that like
everything was gonna be okay I mean they
never killed me you’re beefier you know
right but it was okay for him to know
even if I screwed up or was bad or I
talked too much big shocker so I just
wrote a little clip about that and just
some characters rolling around in my
head you know so a few single pages of
beginnings of characters or interactions
between a couple characters and no I
just have any let myself fully play like
that
good did you write this morning I did I
left early out of fear of being late or
finding it’s just how much rather sit in
your parking lot in it or read or
whatever all right so I found a little
diner and I sat in the corner thanks
take care of the student issue and then
I yeah yeah so so what is writing I mean
everybody can enjoy writing but it’s
obviously extra special for you what is
right I mean to you I think I’ve been
getting closer to I want there to be I
want you to walk away feeling something
or looking at something differently or a
realization for yourself or about the
person you just read about or I don’t
know and I and I want to my ultimate
dream would really be I’ve gone for
years to something we have called the
English Festival I thought of a nerdy
event kids read all these books and then
they go and they participate in like
games and talks and writing contests and
I always go and I always listen to the
author and I sit there every year and
I’m like one thought to be I I really
think I would like to write even to that
age group to that you know young adult
age group and I want to be up there and
I want to share what my stories mean and
my process as a writer and how I got
there and it’s funny that you’ll never
do it though right to that secret I
would do book talks with my high school
students and I would hear them talking
about authors that were rejected and
rejected or rejected and I’m like see
it’s just normal like you just need to
do it and get rejected and know what’s
what’s the message that you want them to
hear from me yeah and your books like
you wonder who said you want to reach
those kids I think like I was very much
tomboy very much a student athlete
I boxed myself into that you know I
tried to be normal and tried to go to
the party and you know and and just it
was like my peers wouldn’t let me be
anybody else and I quit fighting I think
that’s who I am now I would have
continued going and been like screw you
you know but then I just let that define
me and I think I’d like to you know I’ve
even thought about you quickly quit
fighting for what letting them see that
there’s more to me than that like they
knew that part of me and like that was
all I kind of let them know I didn’t
continue going and I can be funny and
super social and I’m a great planner and
I like throw parties and but I didn’t do
any of that I just I think that was how
old Oh with high school high school yeah
I played sports hardcore I play college
sports I just let that be me for a long
time so I think that’s what filled all
that like Harvard all these things I
wanted to do is so your daughter’s now
playing basketball she’s my other
daughter graduated from playing Division
is she tomboy as well they’ve mastered
it I feel like I got them to understand
that when you step on the court or in
between the lines you’re a player and
play the game and when you step off
you’re a girl and they’re way better and
all that like they’re they’re pretty and
they you know I mean they’re they can be
ladylike but they can also they’re
competitive and athletic – and did you
want to be all of them or you just
wanted to be the tomboy or no I I think
that I grew up playing with the boys and
playing hard and I don’t think that my
mother was not that mother you know like
she didn’t kind of help me get to that
part I was my dad was very involved and
so we used to work on that part of my
life I was the girl they put on the
toilet and did the makeover – okay when
I went to college and I would walk out I
always felt weird that Betsy would stop
me and like do something on me like you
know right so I just never got
comfortable even now I work harder to
like be comfortable I know it’s really
weird
well no it’s great what what is what’s a
comfortable that you’re striving for
being a little softer you know I think I
can come off pretty intense and pretty
hardcore and in your face and I I can
intimidate a lot of people there’s a lot
of people I can see them physically
sometimes take a step back from me my
friend that was with me last night
actually has a signing she just kind of
goes their eyes get big and I know that
I’m too much okay because I talk fast
and I’m get really excited and I’m gonna
do this and you know I can do anything
for you it’s just for me I haven’t been
fighting very hard for because if you
told me you wanted to do something I
would be right behind you making it
happen because because I don’t know fear
that I can’t you were talking to the
girl behind me and I really wanted to
interrupt or raise my hand when you’re
so what if they say that about you so
what you kept pushing her on that okay I
thought well what if they say you suck
can you do yeah what if what you wrote
so sucked great right but that’s like
what if at the end of the day this thing
that I want to do so bad like I saw I’m
not even good at it that’s when you will
suck all right like at the start of
everything you will suck you’ve got
you’ve got a you’ve got a huge head
start in that you’ve you’ve been going
to festivals and you’ve been reading and
you’ve you know you’ve taught some of
this stuff but you’re still gonna suck
you can’t expect your first book to be
amazing right and to get I’m just afraid
that like as a skill set you know but
that’s the difference between there’s a
difference when skill and talent skill
you can always improve with practice
with repetition with beating on your
craft if every day you woke up and you
worked on writing your book you would
get better at it and then you read a
back write you write it you read it back
and say how could this be better right
and you probably find in multiple ways
that it can be better and you edit it
and fix it and come back to it and if
you get to the point where then you
can’t you don’t know what how to make it
better then maybe a second eye someone
you look up to respect coaching whatever
but there’s a difference between the
skill and the talent the talents what
you were born with I mean for writing
just you just have to have the the
creativity the imaginations desire
to birth something so you have the
talent so then the skilled you the
skills just doing the work but the way
through it is to expect us so what if I
suck you do great
expect a suck and then just keep going
yeah how do you get through how do you
teach right absolutely so you know this
is hard so put your hands back on the
keyboard you can do it but doing it this
is why you’re so good at it I push in
others because you ultimately need it
for yourself right I think sometimes
when people push me I push harder and
then a lot of people of course I say
something and you come back at me I
think some people don’t know what to
come back at me with sure you know and
so some of the things that you said last
night I think the thing that I didn’t
want to do when you said stand up and do
this or stand up and do that is the very
thing that broke through yeah some of
the ice you know like which point any of
them I mean when you said do push-ups s
okay yeah um telling somebody you know
something about you that you really fear
people know or I mean anything honestly
the whole thing to confess out loud yeah
I’ve never little people would say they
kind of knew that about me so just say
it and do it and I am terrified but
terrified all morning a bit terrified
too sanguine almost money I mean just
like oh my god I’m gonna have to do this
now like but and then I just shut up and
do it you know it’s that push through so
there’s a couple ways through it it’d be
it the trick is to be able to catch it
because you’ll do it by default and
you’ll win by default
you’ll win with your friends by default
and then this catching yourself is am i
this is actually the best thing for me
and then whether it’s remembering that
seventeen-year-old version of you or ten
years ago or seeing that author who’s
speaking on stage you want to be like
it’s like I’m not doing the thing that I
want to be right my actions don’t match
my ambitions I mean I say it all the
time I don’t want to be 90 sitting on my
porch unable to do anything right God
why didn’t I you know how stupid and I’m
so upset disappointed if anyway I love
wouldn’t do that exact thing and yet but
you are doing it exactly that’s well
that’s what you’re doing right now and
honestly I think you know I believe
everything does happen for a reason and
how weird but the day I’m coming down to
see you but that’s the book I picked up
to see those pages I’m even there’s like
a little poem inside it
I wrote that almost exact poem okay
three weeks ago I mean if you put them
side-by-side you’d be like holy I
what’s changed and I so desperately
really want people to be like damn
where is she been you know but like
finally done something different get out
of the loop you know even in admitting
that to the people around you will
actually help inspire them to do more
work to so it’s not just the just a push
right but it’s also the bone really did
say well you’re not perfect but you’re
working through your issues too and
you’re afraid and terrified but you’re
still gonna go off and do it it’s the I
understand like I understand what you
went through you’re afraid that meet me
like doing this tour was afraid but it’s
like but I’m gonna do it is not so bad
what you do of course and there’s like I
gotta do something bigger next yeah
right yeah I gotta push harder on the
next one even already think for the next
stop and Cincinnati’s like hey what do I
do to make it even better right and more
different that’s like the first lesson I
teach you today is not nearly as good as
the sixth one I mean I listen to you but
you have all the answers right you know
so so start backed with you have like
what’s the mission you want to reach
high school kids I think that would be
my first place to start right because it
was a big deal to me you know even well
it’s right here it’s on your it’s on
your that’s right your necklaces you are
enough that’s basically a message so
it’s your message to yourself
even back then it’s like you’re enough
you can be a Tom girl a tomboy it’s okay
mm-hmm
I mean I can admit that I would not be
here I’ve accomplished the things I did
without my father behind me pushing me
at the time as we most people do but you
look back and get perspective on it you
returns well that was a lot but that was
kind of how I felt like I would never be
good enough so I’ve also tried to
balance that in my life now where while
pushing someone I can still make sure
that they do understand that you know
you’re doing great you’re doing fine
I do believe in effort I’ve said that
forever in the day you know I will
reward your effort even if you are not
that great at it but doesn’t made the
effort to try to be to meet my
requirements or whatever okay I dunno I
just don’t do it but so it’s the
emotional commitment so understanding
there’s a couple ways to do it right the
first is understanding the mission so if
you want if you think about like what’s
the most painful moment from you being
16 or 17 or where like you really needed
to hear that you are enough message I
remember in eighth grade winning an
award that only boys had one okay or
it’s and being athletic again and that
was kind of a big deal and the year
after a boy and a girl got it and I
remember like because it was what smells
painful moment well that was horrible
okay all the boys that theater peers
okay here 13 14 years old and you just
want to be accepted and normal I never
felt accepted at normal good it was like
it was a line drawn in the sand it felt
like to me and then I kept working at it
because I didn’t find success in it and
I did love it but I felt like when I
made that choice I kind of walked away
from making that effort Hey it’s painful
it really was I here I didn’t I didn’t
feel like I I really fit in so I just
did everything else you know so it’s
remembering that girl
when you find people who feel like
they’re trying to accomplish something
but they’re getting rejected and they’re
getting
ostracized great helping that person out
will fill you up and you can do that
through one-on-one and and you’re
teaching and you’re doing it but you’re
you’re just dancing around the thing
which is actually writing I would like
to be the person where somebody picked
up the book and identified with it so
much it changes their life yes there was
at least they reflected enough to
realize that they had some power and is
it fiction or nonfiction that’s an
interesting question or her mix loosely
based off I think I mean I’ve always
taught students that you know whatever
you write you’re in it I mean something
your courses your heart something yes so
I feel like maybe the character would
secretly be parts of me right you know I
don’t know that it would be exactly me
there’d have to be some fiction to that
I just think yeah you’re making a story
but I think that the overall message
would be my message and then ultimately
what I think I want to do and whatever I
write I want there to be something
that’s in there that you walk away with
going huh okay you know you took it with
you but that’s actually the thing that
you want to do and all the other stuff
that you have been doing is helpful but
it just like barely because when you
working with the kids I’m sure you feel
great when you when you push them
absolutely right and you see the results
and they’re growing and from day one
compared to when they leave you you’ve
probably had a much greater impact than
most teachers since so like I wouldn’t
be surprised if for a lot of the kids if
we asked them 20 years later like who
their favorite teacher of all time is a
bunch of the would say you it’s one of
the questions I ask when people figure
out the one word like who’s your
favorite teacher of all time who’s your
favorite teacher of all time besides
your dad it’s not really your dad but my
teacher teacher in school yeah might be
mrs. Howell she was an English teacher
okay but why it’s not good she taught
you English what was it about her that
um she pushed me in my writing big time
and I needed that and I wanted
I was hungry for that and I liked how
she pushed me the direction she pushed
me what she wanted from me so how did
she do it that you liked it versus other
people I like the no-nonsense approach
kind of what you’re doing to me right
now okay there’s no emotion you know I
mean like there isn’t I’m seeing you’re
offending me yeah it was like she came
at me how I needed to become a yeah
business you know and it was that
important to me I wanted it to be part
of my business so I she’s had a huge
impact on me lots of most of my writing
teachers are the ones I was always the
closest to in college I had someone
extremely close to me that I kind of
lost I couldn’t find her again and but
she made me feel like a writer you know
like I could do it but then I lost it
you know thanks because you don’t keep
doing it every day you’re not around it
so you have to inject it into daily yes
so what you’re doing with the kids in
the school is great and did you go into
teaching wanting to teach so like I want
to be a teacher
yes I never wanted to be I still don’t I
don’t want to be a minister I do but way
back when you first got started
Oh like you’re graduating in college you
got options white teacher coach last
teacher you know I did English because
my passion for reading and writing and I
wanted to share that yeah you know most
people don’t read a book to really see
all the awesomeness that’s there and so
I’d like to slow down and help them see
what they were missing and why teach
over right um she wanted to be a writer
for longer well I always tell my kids
even my own children like you can’t eat
the paper like they’re at you know I
felt it was something you should do and
work at until maybe it happens but then
real it gets in the way you gotta make
Paycheck you gotta you know you should
see the awesome list I have in my
notebook right now all the things I have
to do okay and writing isn’t on there
that’s all the stuff I will do before I
even think about doing that for myself
of course all the day all the little
things will take over if you don’t block
out it’s the exercise he went through
yesterday
listen seems to me and let me let me
teaching was the safe thing to do is the
easy thing it was a easy choice it’s
it’s it’s you get to do what you like
you like you get to push people you get
a paycheck it’s just it’s and it’s a
nice job you have it forever
it’s like job security great benefits
and awesome you get to work with kids
and help them but there’s something
better because their writing wasn’t as
clear a path you took the easier safer
one which is still good I always thought
to this my teaching schedule would allow
me to write funny I thought that but
then I actually didn’t use that schedule
to do that you know like it’s good job
cuz I do have it there’s some freedom in
that schedule and you know and what
you’ve done in your teaching is twisted
it to still fit the curriculum and like
what you have to get done but you’ve
twisted it to then do the thing that you
really want to do which is help inspire
people to feel like they’re enough you
twisted a typical job where there’s
confinements and you’re you’re not gonna
not teach the material but you’ve made
it your own
oh because that’s what you more more
than one I’m sure that’s grown too from
when you’ve started teaching but more
than most teachers you’ve really made
the class experience with you your own
and different and you want students feel
like they’re enough yes it feels good
that they want to be in my room
right it’s not because I’m not doing
anything it’s not because oh this is
just a free zone do whatever you want
but there is a I feel like I found the
delicate balance of how to push them
just enough well they’re a little
uncomfortable because I’m I’m pushing at
them but that they like that I have
those expectations for them they want
that teaching for you getting into it
was it was a be opportunity and you
turned it into an a-minus because of how
you customize it to fit your life and
your mission so you got an a-minus and
it’s like it’s great it’s an a-minus
they’re writing the z+ you don’t have to
get there it absolutely is
I like I I I said something last night
about you know I’ve started over and
over and over again this is gonna be I’m
gonna get my health together and I’m
gonna finally start writing in and so
quickly fail us because you just let the
things come in front of it you just let
it happen you don’t fight for it you
don’t keep it on the schedule you know
something else slid in there you just
let it go for myself not for this but if
you know all those things that are out
there write down what you want it’s the
same freaking picture every time I know
exactly what I want I can see it but I
am NOT doing the day-to-day working out
there and the path is unclear clear how
do you go and become a best-selling
author sure it’s like how what are the
steps after that huh do you get an agent
eatery Yeah right
I mean yes of course you know last night
right before anything yeah the momentum
creates the next step the 2% difference
and figures out how do we get to the
next 2% and keep building momentum so
reminding yourself at the mission of
what you’re trying to do is important
like I’d figure out how do i how do i
remind myself that daily I do it myself
it’s me and Nina and Danny on this tour
you know and I’ve got a team but the
important role that my work plays in
people’s daily lives I forget because I
wake up when I just in front of a camera
start talking right but but doing that
is actually cheating my mission of what
I want to do and we want to grow after a
my myself that a quarter of a billion
people you know quarter billion views on
the channel like it’s in a positive
message every single day people make
this part of the morning routine
teachers use it to show their kids so
that’s I have to remind myself of that
because that makes it more important to
a job would even be a job but just more
when you are the furthest ahead of your
peer group it’s easy to coast so it’s
easy for me to code it’s easy for me to
just keep doing the same thing I’m doing
and I love it it’s great but it’s
knowing that you’re capable of more
you’re capable of more if you a little
more and so the reminder of I want to
serve these people like these people
need you my mom would always say if you
have the ability of the responsibility
you have the ability to touch millions
of kids across the country and so you
have the responsibility to do it in a
positive way and a kick forward not like
kickdown you suck right because you’re
doing a good job
with your 30 kids at a time or 60 or 100
or 200 right but no but but but not it’s
not a not at scale not a knife you can
have an impact in your school and that’s
amazing that’s great and that ripples
out but your lessons could be reached
could be impacting millions of people
through your stories which is actually
the A+ version of what you want to be
doing this mean you have to give up
teaching or quit but but you need to go
off and do that version mmm
so there’s that there’s dipper gret your
hundred year old version looking back
like I still didn’t do it I just thought
Jensen Jarrell last week okay but she
mentioned she kept saying it more than
once like you’re going to die I mean the
same idea you never say wait to get like
yeah you will not live forever you don’t
know when the end is gonna happen and I
remember writing down do you want to die
with that book inside you you know great
so you you put on the wall every day
yeah like right next to your bed you
wake up when you see it I think the
secret is for me when you talk about
morning routine which I knew ya had done
it yeah no all about it is I have to do
things first because as the day unravels
you know something happens in the spot
you had is now another spot in I think
if it’s like exercising to you know if
you do it first it’s done for the day
you don’t have to worry about squeezing
it in
that’s the priority you know so what do
you think the what’s gonna push you that
hasn’t pushed it before to follow
through the commitment and letting
everybody know that that commitment is
there but that is what I’m doing the
door is closed and you know and I’m
going to set up you know like you talked
about I need to have that environment
and I know exactly where I want to be I
know exactly what it needs to look like
to kind of you know that commitment but
what’s like waving publicly like you’re
gonna post on Facebook I’m gonna finish
I’ve never just felt free to just write
I mean to me that’s the hundred percent
I just want to do the two great I just
want to start putting some words down on
paper and hopefully that story will just
start to unfold on its own I think when
I put too much pressure on me to get the
book chopped there right now so how
about accountability for doing the the
morning routine like how much you want
to write in the morning what’s the goal
I know an hour every morning I know so
from 6:00 to 7:00 shower and get to work
and I’d be the perfect start to my day
great so so who can help hold you
accountable to that that guy that sleeps
next to me okay I think I need to let
him know the seriousness of it you know
is he up for it I think so I mean I
actually have even said to my friend
that I brought with me she’s a great
account accountability partner for me
and I said are you willing to do that
you know are you willing to you know hey
let me see what you wrote
or hey how much did you write or you
know and I think maybe knowing that
someone’s checking in on me it’s not
like just yourself where you know and
tell me if it’s crap okay and if it’s
good tell me what’s good I should go
farther on that I don’t anything you
know just a momentum like your husband
may not be the best critic of your
writing style right but you might make
sure up in the room yeah I think he has
to help make sure that you know and if
you’ll figure out how to make it better
right pretty quickly too like if you
wrote every day for the next year you
may not love what you’re writing right
now you might be even a little
disappointed in yourself right like this
is what I can write okay but by the end
of the year you’ll start to really
impress yourself there’s times now when
I go back and peek it something I’ve
written and I’ve honestly been like who
wrote that like it doesn’t I can’t
believe that that was me like that I can
see what you’re saying like there is
growth just as a as a person and you
know so I’m ready that same approach of
I don’t want to think about the whole
book I just want to get momentum built a
2% mmm same thing of the quality of the
work yeah and you’re gonna keep getting
better mm-hmm I’m ready that’s the first
step it’s huge
yeah and then making sure you have the
time and so like having a supportive
partner is super helpful you’ve been
pushed by other people who are you know
direct and blunt and believed in you and
I’m excited it’s just about getting up
every day and doing the work and it’s a
new schedule and has to be feasible
routine I mean the only other thing I
would add is if you let yourself down
and you don’t follow through for some
reason then it falls into two buckets
one some major life situations happened
that is uncontrollable which will happen
life will pitch in the face or something
if that happens to me I I’m gentle on
myself so if if my mom got into an
accident and had to go to the hospital
I would cancel my whole tour and go
right right if it happening right now
like I love you thank you I have to go
right and like maybe you don’t
understand that
some you know balls will drop but like
that has to be taken care of right right
most the time it’s not that most of the
time it’s something else right yeah and
in that case I’m really hard on myself
and if I ever miss something then the
next day would have to be the greatest
day of all time so if you miss a day
then it’s like I need to write for three
hours tomorrow and I don’t care if I’m
tired and I don’t care if it’s crap
writing but I’m just gonna do it because
I’m the kind of person who follows
through you start training yourself that
I’m the kind of person who follows
through so being on yourself is usually
a good idea but not always sometimes you
have to be gentle sometimes some people
then bury themselves solo and feel like
crap because I didn’t write but like
okay but I was in a hospital or
something yeah it’s okay right yeah
just most of the time it’s not okay you
just let in life get in the way it’s not
okay because that you you know had some
late office party or something right
like are you proud of it yeah exactly
you get up and you do the writing I woke
up and get my workout I was tired we
stayed up late last night where had the
energy from the event right right and
you’re not thinking okay what I bring
Cincinnati how do we make it better and
alarm goes off great I’m up let’s do
some hit workout this morning oh got a
brilliant if I workout these guys are
sleeping and then I went nina Volkov is
able it’s gonna coffee like Tim Hortons
oh I’m in let’s go and it wasn’t the
greatest morning routine their morning
workout that I’ve done but it’s better
than zero and I feel great that I did it
more than letting it lapse and then
trying to find some time later on for me
to do it and then interviews and all
those other staff right and then I feel
like crap because they didn’t do it so
sitting down and writing for an hour
even if you’re not inspired like that
can’t be a reason for you not to write I
don’t what I’m gonna write I don’t know
puke on paper yeah but even as you’re
walking the dogs in the morning you
could be thinking okay well actually
that’s great clear the head get the
energy where’s my story going what are
we gonna talk about in this episode or
this this page
for my book your one word have you read
it I have okay that was two books I cut
half the book out of that book you do
that yes I do that no no I did that you
did so first of all one’s right in the
book my my team the agent who was
representing me didn’t think it was a
book didn’t like the concept like you’re
wrong where it’s not a book like what do
you mean it’s like a it’s like a I don’t
know it’s like a ten page handout or
something it’s a little workbook it’s
not a book like no no it’s a book yeah
like how are you gonna write like you
need to write seventy thousand words
yeah I can do that no you can’t you’re
one word no way this is just a concept
it’s a little it’s a small idea yeah so
I said well was I got I’ll show you that
this could be a book but more I just
believed in it I I try to operate more
from a place of the positivity then like
the negativity of like I’m gonna prove
you wrong but that can still be super
helpful right like as long as you don’t
live there constantly yeah and so I
wrote the book and I spent I don’t know
how long write in the book I don’t
remember now I don’t know six months or
plus and I wrote one hundred and forty
thousand words not to prove that it
could be a long book just because that’s
what I thought we need it hmm I felt
like that was a complete book and
everything that I needed in there
and then I did a test audience and most
test audiences most publishing companies
don’t use a test audience just if the
publisher likes it great we we go right
you guys don’t use a test audience like
it seems crazy so I gave it to my test
audience half of the more entrepreneurs
half of them were not entrepreneurs
thirty people asked him to read this
giant foot a couple weeks and give me
feedback and then I went through each
one and then I had a master copy that
anytime somebody underlined or made a
note I would underline in my master copy
I don’t care what they write right it’s
your own it’s shown your journey
exactly you liked it you highlighted it
so it meant something to you right and
then I had my master copy and anything
that didn’t get underlined to highlight
it I cut from the book I loved every
page of that book right
like that’s that was my soul in that
book yeah but a half the half of it
great I cut half of it yeah because
people didn’t like they liked it but
they didn’t like it enough to underline
it so I’m gonna trim that and then I
never used that other half like that’s
that’s it every video that I make on my
channel I love Allah every new series
that I want to launch I love but most
series don’t stake yeah they just people
don’t like it enough and goes away like
okay yes on next go boom we’re making
new videos let’s go right so it’s
releasing the imperfect you know you
might love it you should love it and
it’s okay people don’t
you’re still enough right okay
everyday okay one hour I love your
energy
I love how willing you were to just
share and be open and I think a lot of
people will draw strength and courage
from your story I think there’s a lot of
people who are sitting on ideas maybe
maybe for 10 plus years or even for
three months they’re sitting on the air
their ideas and they’re afraid for a
whole bunch of different reasons to come
out and do it fear doesn’t make sense
when you say it back to me I mean it
sounds dumb I know that but it’s just
funny that when you are alone with
yourself that voice is so damn loud it’s
screaming you know and it’s hard to
silence it
I want to coach myself the way I would
coach you or talk to the kids or anybody
you know I hear the way I talk to my own
children I think God are you listening
like that’s what you need to hear you
know I’ve never ever let them do this
the more you speak it out loud though
the less the control has over you if
you’re sharing it with your husband or
show me their kids he’s like mom what
are you talking about you could go crush
a Kobe your writer yeah
right of course you could do it and then
the
voice that sold out inside your head now
is not as loud but I think your journeys
super inspiring and willing to face
those demons and tackle them
I do identify with you in your head on
approach I mean I say it in other parts
you know I tell people I’m gonna win
like and but I need to apply that here
I’m gonna win I will defeat this monster
that I’ve created
it is hard though and it is like it just
feels like a confessional I think it
does like to confess that you are really
that person I don’t think most people
would see me that way
you know like the way that I’m talking
about the the DAO thing in the the lack
of self-confidence I don’t think I come
off that way
to my students or even my friends but
like me but that’s actually the only way
like to be the person that you come off
as I’m not trying to be this my I did a
podcast in Pittsburgh when we got there
and the guys were like we want to take
the shine off like I want to see behind
the scenes and take the shine of the
great like that’s all I want to do yeah
cuz I’m scared and I’m nervous and I’m
failing all over the place I don’t want
people to think that it’s perfect I hate
the perfect Instagram stuff
I love taking the shine off I don’t feel
like I’m any different here then then on
stage or on camera or my friendships or
relationships I just try to be Evan
wherever I go it’s more difficult in
some situations if it’s a scary
situation something I haven’t
encountered before the nerves and you I
might be more you know apprehensive
easier it is it is you just are capable
of doing like the you are a knife thing
we’ll be there with you for life that
that fear but you’re able to conquer
bigger and bigger versions of it right
so the first time you get asked to go
and when you first submit your book to
publishers you
go panic you get rejection letters
you’ll you’ll be upset or when you
actually wait and then you get on stage
and you’re doing that next speaking
event you’ll be terrified and then then
it won’t be that you’ll feel on stage I
will hold my to be this person I’m not
enough but then but you’ll be nervous
doing it the the you are not enough will
will rear its head again and then you’ll
do it and then see the impact you had on
the people in the say it’ll be there
with you for life you just can conquer
bigger bigger versions of it and then
you’re just you’re just stretching your
comfort zone yeah so it’s not you don’t
need to feel bad if you feel like you’re
not enough it’s always it’s always going
to be there that’s okay and now you’re
gonna help other people to feel like
they’re enough to write a little bit
though when you drove that you drove
past from the like all right we’re here
it’s happening and it wasn’t 60 people I
so Cokie thank you
if you want to get coached by me one on
one to help you build your brain and
make money as a thought leader check out
my next workshop in Toronto the link is
right there next to me continue to believe and I’ll see you there
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