well I think impossible is not a fact
it’s an opinion when someone tells me
it’s impossible
I always just looking anybody around me
knows that they can’t do this that’s
part of it but if they didn’t know me
it’s your opinion they’ll say no science
shows and I see yeah and how many times
the science shows something’s impossible
now science shows it’s possible things
are impossible till somebody does it and
so I find that you know most of your
business people you look at businesses
and what does it take to make a business
grow it’s not impossible like a business
grow up has been shrinking for a long
time or it’s been stuck the real problem
is always the chokehold as always the
psychology and the skills of the leader
always an 80% of that as psychology and
20% is the mechanics like if you don’t
know how to read your financials and
you’re trying to fly the plane of your
your company I mean come on you know if
all you do is go down you look at profit
loss and you see what it is and you have
a beer either way you either celebrated
at the brass you know something you know
you’re gonna be in trouble right but if
you have the skill sets that’s one thing
but you can get any skill set at the
other psychology and anytime a business
is not growing it is not because it’s
impossible it’s because they aren’t
innovating and they’re not innovating
because they’re believing it’s
impossible I mean if we all know what
does it take to transform now obviously
up people it takes three things to try
to break through and anything and your
personal life in your business anywhere
you need a strategy but that’s not the
first place you should look and it’s the
first place all of us look me too it’s
our inherent thing you want to lose
weight or how do I do it I’m gonna grow
my business how do I do it it’s it’s
instinctively been trained to think that
way but the problem is the how-to is
usually not that complex gonna come on
70% of America is what 75% of America
now is overweight is that because it’s
so complex that have you fit and strong
right you know only the 1% no the answer
is they hide it from you you have to
work your ass off to not hear what it
takes right
and so so you know I remember I went to
this I went to a TED med center and I
watched about 12 doctors won’t have to
know to get up and do these stories
about how we could just get patients to
take their medications and try to figure
out the whole thing and I was just
looking and going you’re all talking
about strategy you’ve forgotten
psychology because strategies wonderful
I’m a strategist but my whole life
figured out strategy is we both know a
strategy could save you a decade right
and doesn’t a strategy could save you
you know it could make the devastating
success and failure but most people have
strategies available or they could get
them or you could create them but the
problem is you got a story and your
story is why it isn’t working and the
story is I’ve tried what but everything
if you tried everything you’d be fit
right you tried everything you’d be
profitable if you tried everything you’d
be there but people say it you know I’m
big-boned that’s what I used to say I’m
still big-boned but I’m 38 pounds
lighter than I was 25 years ago and I’ve
never gained it back right but I was
big-boned that was my story all the good
ones are gone that’s why I’m not in a
relationship or they’re gay and I’m not
I am they are whatever the story is
there’s always a story and what I tell
people’s you know if you can just
divorce the story of your limitation and
marry the truth of your unlimited
capacity then the whole game changes
beating the self-esteem drum for 50
years
oh no you’re okay you should feel good
about yourself like you’re fine the way
you are it’s like you think well that’s
a calming message for people it’s like
no it’s not it’s not at all and I watch
my audience this is like it’s full of
people in the audience who think I’m
suffering a lot more than I think is
tenable a whole bunch of it’s my fault
my life is not in the order it should be
I know I’m doing 50 things wrong it’s
like what the hell’s wrong with me
what’s wrong with the people around me
this is really serious and some you know
well-meaning person comes up and says oh
you’re okay just the way you are it’s
like no one wants that message it’s like
no I’m not okay the way I am I’m not
okay at all the way I am I know that and
so you know when I’m when I’m speaking
to to when I’m speaking now I say to
people well oh you’re nowhere near what
you could be that’s the that’s the
positive message it’s like yeah you’re a
mess but you don’t have to stay that way
as you’re a mess you know it obviously
you’re suffering away like like so much
you can barely tolerate it it’s like
that’s okay
you can do something about it so yeah
that’s the thing that that turns the
lights on it’s like you do something
about it I started studying people that
did more not people that didn’t do more
not people that said do less not people
that said hey don’t be satisfied or be
satisfied not people that said they’d be
grateful for what you have I started
studying people that said and had done
more that you can do more that’s who I
listen to today I listened to the people
aren’t my friends in my life the people
I listen to the people I talk to the
people that I follow on Facebook or or
or YouTube or Instagram
I don’t follow everybody I follow the
people that say you can do more dude I
follow the people that say I am doing
more I follow the people that are
actually doing something on this planet
to make a difference for the better you
have to be selective you have to give
something up okay you cannot listen to
everybody to every voice to every person
is quit or given up you got to make a
decision if you have that little voice
inside of you that says you can do more
you have to give attention to that voice
and you got to feed it with those that
support that idea that you can do more
it’s a very natural process to begin
something to be very excited and then as
you go down that process to realize yeah
I actually don’t like this it’s not
giving me as much energy as I thought of
what is taking energy away and therefore
I want to give up and quit that thing
and she said if you do that once or
twice like hey so be it but if you’re
doing it every time if you just love
that initial rush that excitement of
something new but the actual
nitty-gritty reality of getting good at
it of doing what Mitch ikkaku calls
having but power meaning you’ve set your
butt in the seat and you do the work if
that’s really your problem and nothing
is interesting enough for you to sit
there and do the work you haven’t
developed grit yet and so grit is the
ability to persevere to see things
through to go past the point at which it
is stopped being fun and it becomes
boring because you believe in your end
goal enough you’re excited by what
you’re trying to accomplish so much that
you’re willing to fight through all of
that difficulty you’re willing to fight
through the ball
you’re willing to fight through the
unease that arises when you step outside
your comfort zone you’re doing things
you’re not good at and things that are
boring those are the two things that I
find killed most people they just cannot
handle the things that make them go oh
god like I’m not very good at this and
I’m feeling really badly about myself
and they forget that they can get good
on a long enough timeline and then to
inevitably in any pursuit of greatness
in any endeavor where you’re trying to
gain master you’re gonna get bored
because practice is repetition it’s
doing something over and over and over
and over to really train yourself to get
to the point where you’re truly
exceptional and there’s just so much
boredom inherent in that process so
building in the resilience to see all
that stuff through is the key part of
grit every single morning Monday through
Fridays at 9:00 a.m. I host a live
call-in radio show on Sirius satellite
radio it’s called make it happen with
Mel Robbins and the thing that’s been so
crazy about that show is every single
person that calls me on that show they
call in because they’re feeling stuck in
their lives and they’re resigned about
their ability to change their lives and
I’m not talking about people that are
nuts I’m talking about successful people
like you and me that just somehow got
stuck in their lives and I’m not talking
about people that are looking for cheesy
self-help I’m talking about people that
really want to figure out how to move
themselves forward and you know I find
that so many of us think that our dreams
are unreachable or unrealistic and it’s
just so sad I mean people think that
their dreams disappear and if that’s
what you think congratulations you’re
officially stuck and the truth is that
our dreams are always there and they
don’t ever give up on us we give up on
them but here’s the secret if you just
force yourself and I mean force because
I know damn well none of you want to do
anything about this and I also know
you’re sitting there like yeah the
self-help crap this isn’t for me but if
you just force yourself to take a couple
small steps there’s always a surprise I
kept my job at McKinley and part-time I
started in the financial services
industry and started to build a team of
people and started to get my licenses
and
that transition and I struggled like
every upstart entrepreneur does I think
it’s like three to five years until you
really get a few clients you know not in
any business I don’t care if it’s
financial services tech dry cleaners
entrepreneurs the first five years is
just full of false starts get it going
then you don’t you get it going you take
a step forward you take three back it’s
constant false starts it’s constantly
thinking you have it going it’s
constantly negotiating in your mind the
price you’re paying is it worth that
should I quit should I give in I’m
constantly I spent the first five years
daily contemplating quitting yeah all
the time because it’s not fun it wasn’t
fun and and even there’s just a part of
you I think and anything you’re doing
when you’re struggling is this really
for me is this my destiny should I be
doing this and we miss Reed failure from
some sign you know is this a sign I
shouldn’t be doing it you know is this a
sign I am you know not cut out for this
instead of looking for signs that you
can win right and so I spent the first
five years literally trying to find ways
to quit trying to find ways to get out
struggling and struggling and struggling
and I went broke I lost a car and the
water turned off in my place I you know
I bought out my first house I ended up
having it foreclosed on eventually so
I’m not that house with the unicorn’s
that you saw right or my beach place
like that’s all they after people don’t
realize that there were just years and
years of of grinding and struggling and
worrying in the beginning and then then
I made some mental changes and some
shifts yeah that altered my life then
again there’s differences and then
there’s there’s not differences so you
know the brain is the same the brain
evolved over the course of millions of
years so I try to make the point that
you know what da Vinci was going through
the process is there’s a template there
and it’s the same because our brains
haven’t really changed in an
evolutionary sense in four or five
hundred years on the other hand the
circumstances are different and people
now live in a world where there’s many
more distractions so it’s harder to do
that kind of focus that I was mentioning
so in some ways it’s a little bit harder
and the people that I’ve interviewed
are really good at shutting out all of
the distractions of the world that’s
sort of what separates them every single
one of them Paul Graham you know Paul
Graham Paul doesn’t have a smartphone
yeah yeah he doesn’t spend time on the
Internet
he’s extremely focused the woman yoky
Matsuoka she she does all of her writing
with a pen and paper she’s not sitting
there day in and day out on the computer
of checking her Facebook or Twitter page
or whatever I could go through all of
them that way Steve Jobs is sort of the
ultimate icon of mastery of our era and
he said the only thing that’s
differentiated me from everyone else was
my level of focus I could take a problem
and I could focus on it and burrow into
it and everybody else was so distracted
he knew how to close his door get away
from his wife his kids everyone and just
focus so the all of these people have to
overcome the tense distractions in our
world today and they’re able to do it on
the other hand what you can get with a
click on the internet with a Google
search compared to what da Vinci had to
do or a scientist in the 19th or 20th
century is absolutely astounding so what
you have at your fingertips the
knowledge the things that you can
connect and learn about the potential
for learning skills is out of this world
so if you’re able to overcome the
distracting elements that are it’s my go
over and I wrote compare it to if you
ever watch a basketball game and you see
the opposing team shooting free throw
and everyone behind him and the stands
are all going like this with those big
you know trying to distract him there’s
like hundreds of people that’s what the
world is like now you’ve got thousands
of people waving those things you’ve got
so many distractions if you’re able to
overcome that and be a person that can
focus you have this like wealth of
information and knowledge and ability to
acquire skills that nobody a hundred
years ago 20 years ago could dream about
you know a lot of these interviews to
question that
oh it’s the worst is people will say
where do you get your ideas I don’t know
where I get them you know and if I did
man would I tell you I mean Jesus
they’ve been good to me all I know is
that I sit down and I turn on the
machine and there’s always that first
ten minutes it’s like smelling a dead
fish or walking into a monkey house and
then something will click a little tiny
bit and that leads to something else and
it’s like until it’s going faster and
faster and then you hit this kind of
escape velocity you’re gone
[Music]
the world the normal mundane sort of
stupid world where you got to do the
breakfast dishes and you got to make the
beds you know and you got to worry about
getting the kid to the dentist all
that’s gone but there’s a place where
you have to walk away from it because
it’s so kind of addictive they do
otherwise you might just sit there and
skip meals and just being lost in that
world you wouldn’t want to do that
because that’s sort of the way crazy
people are in institutions you know what
I’m saying
I’m in meetings a lot my calendar gets
very full with those and then at night
after the kids have gone to bed I’m on
email a great deal I get messages during
the day that’s my chance to give long
responses and then over the weekend I
send a lot of mail as well as well I
take two weeks a year to just go off and
read and think where I’m not interrupted
by work or anything else I’m just
solidly trying to think about the future
and people get to send me things to read
as part of that so-called think week so
it’s nice mix of things about 25% of the
time then I’m out traveling around
meeting with customers Europe Asia and
that sort of helps me think okay do we
have the right priorities what what are
people responding well to and what would
they they like to see us do better
well magnitude is one of the most
strongest forms of power and attract
good things you know if you truly feel
grateful for the things in your life
I always felt grateful for even the
small things I always used to celebrate
the small things now I might be
celebrating the bigger things but I
always celebrate every little good thing
that would happen to me in my life even
before I had any kind of money or ever I
would celebrate and I would feel
grateful for it and it just gave me more
and this is exactly the same thing
that’s happening right now I still
remain grateful and Morricone’s continue
to change and continue to get bigger and
I think as I as I sort of reached
certain milestones certain
accomplishments you know it only makes
me realize that I need to dream bigger
and I think that same thing for you guys
I think as you really build that
confidence through your career as you
really start start you know building
your career and building your
relationships and seeing your dreams
actually realized you just have to
continue to keep dreaming bigger and
that’s why it’s so important to always
continue learning in my opinion because
there’s always there’s there you’ve
never made it I think we all can always
continue to do let’s do more let’s be
better and bigger goal if you own a
business and I resume a lot of your
viewers are business owners or for
getting started in business no matter
how good you are in business think about
this the one universal rule that idiots
in finance know is diversification if
the only free lunch you’ve got a
diversify because if you put all your
eggs in one basket no matter how good
the basket is one day that real estate
market that stock market that bond
market that collectibles mark whatever
you invest in rate Elliott showed me
statistically it’ll drop 50 to 70
percent on a day now if you’re later in
life and that happens it’s over for you
so you have to diversify yet most people
they know real estate so they do it or
they know stocks they do it or they grew
up with the hand their parents flipping
things and it’s the wrong thing to do so
you’ve got to diversify in order for you
to be able to truly succeed and that’s
why when you want a business yeah if you
put all your money in your business
which is what most of us do naturally
you put all your eggs in one basket
there’s things that can happen I mean
you know you’re let’s say you spend 20
years and you figured out how to put
together the ultimate map you know and
remember Garmin came out with this thing
called the TomTom and or if you’re
number used to get on your left remember
that yeah just put on your down cost a
hundred bucks it was a breakthrough or
something oh yeah yeah six months later
their own zero what’s it gonna do to
your business when someone takes your
product reserve it gives away for free
so I always tell people
competition happens technology happens
what you must do is have a second
business we know with no moving parts no
people no time maybe it takes you two to
three days a year for two or three hours
after you’ve read the book you put it in
place and you measure it two three times
a year that’s it yeah go on with your
life now there’s our trouble in your
business you’re financially set I in my
life at thirty-one companies now we have
you know what do we have twelve hundred
employees
seventy different industries we do five
billion in sales I mean I used to be you
know me and my seminar business it’s
grown geometrically but with all those
moving parts the only way I’ve been able
to succeed is because I’ve taken
everyone those businesses that I’ve
diversified my assets so that when
things were in trouble I still have
enough economics figure myself and keep
the business going so everybody needs to
create a money machine that works while
you sleep that doesn’t have moving parts
and that’s what this is really about I
don’t know it’s a lot of negativity to
some degree a lot of grind it just kind
of feels like the grind a little bit and
so I just kind of felt like it wasn’t a
space that I wanted to be in as much
anymore like I I want to be in a happy
space where I’m just doing things that
are bring me joy and yeah it just it
wasn’t doing that as much or I was
noticing it I was noticing I was missing
that or wanting it more I think that’s
really what it comes from is growing as
a person and realizing I think
everybody’s afraid to take chances and
do something new in their life because
they’re identified a certain way or
they’ll be judged if they don’t do it or
judged if they do something different
and who are they now and are they crazy
and what are they thinking and you know
it’s just life just do things that make
you happy I do think that with it’s not
just in sport but with with other things
I do believe that the more you repeat
certain things whether it is writing
working on your you know whether it’s
cursive letters or whatever it is like
when you work on something and you keep
doing it over and over it’s inevitable
that it will get better and by that
you’re creating this feeling of
repetition which leads to discipline
like you know you can do it over and
over again and that’s one of my first
one of my first coaches Robert Lansdorp
who I speak about in the book but that
was his philosophy is you I would take a
lesson from him and his philosophy was
just hitting and grinding and it wasn’t
about patterns or anything which you
know as I could get from somebody else
but what he gave me is that feeling that
I could hit the ball from any part of
the court and feel like I could do it
with closed eyes and make it and know
exactly where it’s going and for me it
started at a young age like my mom would
would make me memorize this Russian
literature that I did not appreciate at
five years old it was very difficult and
I didn’t know what it meant but I would
do it and I would memorize it and then I
would feel that I accomplished something
I don’t know why I don’t know but the
repetition led me to this discipline and
and I think that helps with mindset it’s
all in the mindset when you get up in
the morning you do what you normally do
I would eventually say a lot of you here
probably turn on your cellphone’s your
computers and what’s the latest email
what’s the latest text that comes in you
start your day off like that that’s your
mindset
try this get up in the morning do
whatever you have to do don’t turn the
computer on don’t turn the TV on go
right back to bed again either lay there
or sit there
and just bring the universe to you
here’s how you do it you just be it’s
virtually impossible when you first do
it because the thousand thoughts come
through your head we’re human beings
so what you do is your city in bed look
at the wall look at the TV set look at
the ceiling look at the door look at
something in the room to get your
attention and just look at it and just
be for a couple of minutes not 10
minutes not 20 minutes not two days just
be when your mind wanders find another
spot in the room to look at so you’re
back in present time even for a couple
of minutes now go about your day don’t
think about what you’re gonna do for
that split few minutes
you’re now becoming part of a universe
which is also part of global thinking
Oscar how did you go from being my
assistant to a famous big-time movie
producer just by never taking no for an
answer and a following believing I could
do anything which I learned in the nice
dad’s studio all right seriously this
guy would just over and over again I’d
never seen anything like it you just say
you’re smart figure it out you’re smart
figure it out you’re smart figure it out
I don’t care how long it takes just make
it beautiful and that sounded a little
weird at the time because you’re used to
work in a restaurant or being a
landscaper but it’s actually really
empowering and it took me a while to
figure that out
and the more movies I made the more I
realized it didn’t matter it kind of
applies to everything do not cast pearls
before swine and what that means is that
if people are not listening to you stop
talking to them and that’s really that
is the best piece of advice that I can
give you and what happens is is that if
you stop talking to people who aren’t
listening to you and start watching them
instead they will tell you what they’re
up to but so if you have things to say
say them but you find people that will
listen talk to them the ones who aren’t
listening pull back because you’re
you’re devaluing what you have to say by
offering it to an audience that does
nothing but reject it and that’s a good
guideline to life in general so pull
back to many of you in here have ego
around your time when it’s the only
thing you got
so the reason I always know is cuz I
work because I work I work I try things
i test i DM you back i sweet i i’ve work
so when you’re in CH you taste it and
when you’ve done it for 20 years
you see patterns facebook’s still
underpriced you just can’t target 22 to
25 year old african-american fans of
football because other people are doing
that too now it’s just like google early
on you could just target soccer one-word
5 cents a click I did it wine wine wine
but then I had to put at the end of the
game now I got to put 2013 you know
Heller cellars Zinfandel like long tail
real estate if you’re right about London
look it’s my favorites do you know what
do you understand that somebody once
bought this building for $1 somebody
bought the land we’re on for $1 once
that happened it’s a long time ago how
do you know you’re a practitioner the
reason I do is to how I learned you got
to put up all of you were like well I
can’t do podcasting and Facebook and
Twitter oh but I can’t I can blog but I
can’t why if you want it so bad my thing
is why if you want it so bad why can’t
if you want to have a media company
around Caribbean food culture why can’t
you I want to you know what I want to
want to see all your minutes I want to
give you d-roc for today I want to watch
you from the moment you wake up to the
moment you go to sleep let me promise
so so that’s why daily be happened
because you guys like a lot of you
didn’t know me before daily be how many
people knew me before daily be well not
bad right
you got you got to really know me post
daily V you heard hard work and hustle
before you were confused and I’ve been
doing that every day for 20 years
fail early fail often fail forward you
know it’s always a little bit
frustrating to me when people have a
negative relationship with failure
failure is a massive part of being able
to be successful you have to get
comfortable with failure yep you have to
actually seek failure failure is where
all of the lessons are you know when you
go to the gym and you work out you’re
actually seeking failure you want to
take your muscles to the point where you
get to failure because that’s where the
the adaptation is that’s where growth is
successful people who fail a lot they
fail a whole lot more than they succeed
but they extract the lessons from the
failure and they use that the the energy
and they use the wisdom to come around
to the next phase of success you got to
take a shot you have to live at the edge
of your capabilities you got to live
where you’re almost certain you’re gonna
fail that’s the reason for a practice
practice is controlled failure you’re
getting to your limit getting to your
limit getting to your limit you can’t
lift that you can’t do that you until
you get to the point that all of a
sudden your body makes the adjustment
and then you can do it
failure actually helps you to recognize
the areas where you need to evolve so
fail early fail often fail forward I
hear a lot of guys saying right now like
hey only do the things you want to do
dude I do stuff I don’t want to do every
single day okay so I don’t know who
these people are that don’t do the
things they don’t want to do maybe they
were given a business or something but
I’m gonna tell you something man if you
don’t do the things you don’t want to do
you’re not going to grow your
she won’t keep your business I’m telling
you you have to be willing to do you got
to be so obsessed that you don’t collect
care see an obsessed person doesn’t care
if they have to clean a toilet uh-huh
you know an obsessed person doesn’t care
if they if they don’t like that activity
but they have to do it
you’re obsessed you’re in it you do it
anyway no matter what I remember my mom
told me one day she’s like you know
grant I love you just the way you are
because I still I’m telling her about
all these dreams I have as a child right
yeah and I was reminded when my sister
told me like 30 years later you know
grant you’ve done a lot we love you just
the way you are and I’m like dude I
wonder how many times I’ve been told
that you know and the fact is so what
they love me just the way I am I don’t I
don’t love me just the way I am which
opens up to this whole field of people
that’s like just love yourself the way
you are look if you’re broke you’re not
living on purpose you don’t like your
job you can’t get away from your job
dude
if you’re stuck in a house you don’t
like why would you want to love that you
should become obsessed with hating it
man it’s obsessed or average one of the
two so pick just pick get a t-shirt
obsessed or get another t-shirt average
which one would you be more proud
wearing right yeah who do I want to be
man who do I want to be how do i how do
I want to die man
I want to die all in I’m not mr. mentor
I’m not the one who says let’s sit down
tell me how it’s going I’m gonna tell
you exactly how I am get off your ass
and get out there and sell something
I mean I’ve never been the okay I need a
mentor you know a lot of people look for
mentors thinking they’re gonna tell me
the shortcut ah mark you be my mentor
you know the way and they think I’m
gonna go convey some magics here’s the
dust go go go
it doesn’t work that way I still grind
I love the grind if you’re competing on
one of my businesses I’m gonna kick your
ass cuz I’m gonna I’ll grind you right
that’s what being an entrepreneur
they’re an entrepreneur is you’ve got to
get out there and do the work so when it
comes to how do you learn right because
that’s the question how do I learn this
stuff and everybody everybody has got to
go through that process right I read our
I’m in the tech business I’m a media
business the entertainment business I’ve
got to try to prepare myself for all the
Shark Tank businesses I read three hours
plus a day right what everybody else is
getting a suntan or even when I’m
getting a suntan I’ve got I’m online or
I’ve got books I’m reading all I can if
you want to make progress and things I
think that but the the best analytical
framework for us and in the future is
physics I’d recommend studying the the
thinking process around physics like not
just not the equations I mean the
equations certainly they’re helpful but
the way of thinking in physics is the
that’s the best framework for
understanding things that are
counterintuitive and and you know always
taking the position that you are some
degree wrong and your goal is to be less
one of the biggest mistakes people
generally make and I’m guilty of it too
is wishful thinking you know like you
want something to be true even if it
isn’t true and so you ignore the things
that you ignore the real truth because
of what you want to be true this is a
very difficult trap to avoid and like I
said certainly one that I find myself in
having problems with but if you just
take that approach of your oyster some
degree wrong and your goal is to be less
wrong and and solicit critical feedback
particularly from friends like friends
particularly friends if somebody loves
you they want the best for you they
don’t want to tell you the bad thing so
you have to ask them okay you know it
said really I really do want to know and
then they’ll tell you well there’s a ton
of failures along the way that’s for
sure I said as a support for SpaceX the
first three launches failed and we were
just barely able to scrape together
enough parts and money to do the fourth
launch that both launch should fail who
would have been dead so multiple
failures along the way I tried very hard
to get the right expertise in for for
SpaceX I tried hard to to find a great
chief engineer for the rocket but it but
the good Chief Engineers wouldn’t join
and the bad ones well there was no point
in hiring him so I ended up being chief
engineer of the rocket so if I could
have found somebody better then we would
have maybe had less than three failures
how do I get over my block of I am never
good enough especially when my
significant other has high expectations
but does not support me in reaching
those expectations okay so we have two
issues so first of all getting over your
block of I’m not good enough for me the
thing that absolutely destroyed all of
that is my unflagging belief in one
simple thing I
can learn anything so I may not be good
at that thing now I may really not be
good enough like when I think about
building a studio to rival Disney I’m
not good enough yet there’s a huge chasm
and skill set between me and Bob Iger
and being able to do that I fully
understand that and I have to do
something different which is found this
create all the energy whereas Bob Iger
came in wait I mean they’ve been in
business for like 75 years or something
by the time he came along so it is a
really intriguing skill set to be able
to both build and create something scale
it and then run it once it’s big so I
know full well that I am not yet the
person that I need to be in order to do
that and so my time and energy is spent
in building that skill set so I don’t
freak out over the fact that I’m not
good enough that’s very easy for me to
admit I instead spend my time thinking
about how do i acquire those skills in
order to actually become good enough so
don’t let your self-worth be tied up in
that notion of good enough humans are
the ultimate adaptation machine from
that I derive my sort of high-level
sense of worth it hey every human being
has worth because they’re an ultimate
adaptation machine and they can become
anything they want that’s just really
cool and amazing and then also I just am
deeply compassionate for the human
condition so yeah regardless of where
people fall on that path of actually
executing against that potential I get
it man being a human is both beautiful
amazing all this potential it’s really
hard so have compassion for yourself
which i think is incredibly important
and know that this is hard and then
believe that you can become anything
that you set your mind to and then just
be honest with yourself you don’t have
to want to be the greatest in the world
so whether you let somebody else apply
those high standards to you or not is
completely your choice just remember
it’s a choice and you’re not not great
because you can’t be you’re not great
because you haven’t applied yourself to
that so that is the key for me like
understanding that my life is an exact
reflection of my choices is entirely
liberating so remember your life is an
exact reflection of your choices if you
want a different result you simply need
to make a different choice you know I’ve
heard a lot of experts say that fear
isn’t real that is such a bunch of
baloney fear is so real in
fact there are probably things that
you’re afraid of doing right now in your
life in your relationships at work and
the fact that you’re afraid that’s
robbing you of all of the experiences
that you want to have in your life I
mean if you’re afraid to fly that’s
gonna limit your ability to travel and
see the world or go visit friends if
you’re afraid of public speaking that’s
gonna really limit your ability to
express yourself and share your ideas if
you’re afraid of talking to your boss or
asking for a raise that directly impacts
how much money you make or what if you
are dreaming of starting a business or
you’ve already started a new business
but you’re afraid to talk to people and
you’re afraid to share your business
with people I mean fear is something
that stops us all and that’s why I’m
here to talk to you because it doesn’t
have to fear is real but I am gonna
share a secret weapon that I have used
for years to beat every single fear that
used to stop me now first before we get
into the secret weapon I just want to
cover a few facts about fear what it is
what it isn’t and some things that you
may not know about fear so first thing
fear is a physical state in your body
that is exactly the same as excitement
let me say that again fear and
excitement are the exact same physical
state your heart races you might sweat a
little bit
you might feel tightening in your chest
you might feel a pit in your stomach you
have a surge of cortisol it’s basically
the way that your body goes into a hyper
aware state because it’s readying for
action now what’s the difference between
fear and excitement really simple the
only difference between fear and
excitement is what your brain is doing
as your body is all agitated if you’re
excited your brain is going oh wow this
is going to be so cool to ride this
roller coaster if you’re afraid your
brain is going oh
no way there’s no way I’m doing that
this is dangerous get out of there don’t
do that it’s saying something different
so what’s critical about understanding
this is that we’re gonna use the fact
that your mind is either working for you
for excitement or against you with fear
to your advantage
I’ll tell you about it in just a minute
how you’re gonna do that second thing I
want you to understand is that you may
have heard the advice feel the fear and
do it anyway you may have heard the
advice oh just try to calm down think
positive thoughts it doesn’t work does
it and there’s a reason why it doesn’t
work so let’s go back to fact number one
when you’re afraid your body’s in a
state of arousal and agitation it your
heart is racing and you’re all like
amped up and you’re hyper aware of
what’s going on and you’re freaking out
a little bit what is it like when you’re
calm ah it’s just kind of chilled right
you got like this low arousal state very
very difficult to go from a state of
agitation of being all jacked up and
excited and weirded out uh to a kind of
state it doesn’t work it’s like trying
to stop a train by throwing a boulder on
the track so it’s gonna make the train
jump off the tracks it’s gonna cause a
disaster in fact they’ve proven in
research that when you try to ignore
your fears it actually makes them worse
they’ve also proven in research the
positive thinking alone also can make
your fears work worse so what do you do
what do you do when you’re about to go
talk to your boss and you feel afraid
what do you do when you have to get on a
plane and you’re actually terrified of
flying what do you do if you got to give
a presentation and you are afraid of
public speaking here’s what you’re gonna
do you’re gonna use a strategy the same
one that I use that has helped me beat
every single fear and turn me into
somebody that is terrific
when it comes to a high-stress situation
this is how you do it
you’re gonna use my five second rule in
combination with what I call an anchor
thought and that is going to reframe
what your mind is doing so that your
mind goes from feeling agitation
and making you afraid to reframing it
from agitation to excitement it works
like magic now I have used this
technique for years literally for years
and one of the ways that I want to
introduce you to it is I want to take
you backstage I want to take you
backstage to a speech that I delivered
this year and what you’re gonna see is
you’re gonna see me behind you know the
major set I’m about to walk out you can
kind of hear the crowd roaring my
introductory video is playing my body is
in a state of arousal
I am literally my heart is racing my
arms are sweating like it’s like you’re
gonna see this I’m gonna tell you about
it and you’re gonna watch me use this
same technique I’m gonna teach you to
reframe my nerves into excitement I was
believing more I mean I sure did like
but I was doing and I had people and I
couldn’t you know honestly at that time
I mean I have people come on over hey
man you’re gonna cool things cuz it sure
is so I really didn’t I really didn’t
know
I guess secretly if I look back I and I
looked at my Diaries ever there was hope
underlying but I was still like I need
to go out and get a job and I can pursue
acting on the side I get it get a PA job
Hitler storytelling visit behind the
camera and let’s see and then another
funny thing happened at that first
audition when I got out here was for
casting a cream Hank McCain hmm no
talking about it was for film call boys
on the side and I went in red and he
goes that’s Jamie did really good I’ll
have him for a callback
sometimes I went off from there I get
called in for a baseball film angels in
the outfield I walk in the door
this is this there’s a bunch of funny
peculiar how the hell I got to be
standing here today I walk in the door
was backlit iron erotica
they had a American cap on was on Warner
Brothers lot I open up the door was back
late in the afternoon
producers sitting on the couch he looks
at me hey y’all mary did you ever play
bass parts in 12 years because she got
[Applause]
fabulous 48 48 doesn’t father obstacle
play baseball for 11 weeks in Oakland
again I’m going what is this business
but it happened in during that I got
called back to read for Herbert rostral
boys on the side you got that role and
so I that that Coen Brothers film that
got pushed that P a job that I would
have taken if it was their never happened and I have a PA
it’s an opinion when someone tells me
it’s impossible
I always just looking anybody around me
knows that they can’t do this that’s
part of it but if they didn’t know me
it’s your opinion they’ll say no science
shows and I see yeah and how many times
the science shows something’s impossible
now science shows it’s possible things
are impossible till somebody does it and
so I find that you know most of your
business people you look at businesses
and what does it take to make a business
grow it’s not impossible like a business
grow up has been shrinking for a long
time or it’s been stuck the real problem
is always the chokehold as always the
psychology and the skills of the leader
always an 80% of that as psychology and
20% is the mechanics like if you don’t
know how to read your financials and
you’re trying to fly the plane of your
your company I mean come on you know if
all you do is go down you look at profit
loss and you see what it is and you have
a beer either way you either celebrated
at the brass you know something you know
you’re gonna be in trouble right but if
you have the skill sets that’s one thing
but you can get any skill set at the
other psychology and anytime a business
is not growing it is not because it’s
impossible it’s because they aren’t
innovating and they’re not innovating
because they’re believing it’s
impossible I mean if we all know what
does it take to transform now obviously
up people it takes three things to try
to break through and anything and your
personal life in your business anywhere
you need a strategy but that’s not the
first place you should look and it’s the
first place all of us look me too it’s
our inherent thing you want to lose
weight or how do I do it I’m gonna grow
my business how do I do it it’s it’s
instinctively been trained to think that
way but the problem is the how-to is
usually not that complex gonna come on
70% of America is what 75% of America
now is overweight is that because it’s
so complex that have you fit and strong
right you know only the 1% no the answer
is they hide it from you you have to
work your ass off to not hear what it
takes right
and so so you know I remember I went to
this I went to a TED med center and I
watched about 12 doctors won’t have to
know to get up and do these stories
about how we could just get patients to
take their medications and try to figure
out the whole thing and I was just
looking and going you’re all talking
about strategy you’ve forgotten
psychology because strategies wonderful
I’m a strategist but my whole life
figured out strategy is we both know a
strategy could save you a decade right
and doesn’t a strategy could save you
you know it could make the devastating
success and failure but most people have
strategies available or they could get
them or you could create them but the
problem is you got a story and your
story is why it isn’t working and the
story is I’ve tried what but everything
if you tried everything you’d be fit
right you tried everything you’d be
profitable if you tried everything you’d
be there but people say it you know I’m
big-boned that’s what I used to say I’m
still big-boned but I’m 38 pounds
lighter than I was 25 years ago and I’ve
never gained it back right but I was
big-boned that was my story all the good
ones are gone that’s why I’m not in a
relationship or they’re gay and I’m not
I am they are whatever the story is
there’s always a story and what I tell
people’s you know if you can just
divorce the story of your limitation and
marry the truth of your unlimited
capacity then the whole game changes
beating the self-esteem drum for 50
years
oh no you’re okay you should feel good
about yourself like you’re fine the way
you are it’s like you think well that’s
a calming message for people it’s like
no it’s not it’s not at all and I watch
my audience this is like it’s full of
people in the audience who think I’m
suffering a lot more than I think is
tenable a whole bunch of it’s my fault
my life is not in the order it should be
I know I’m doing 50 things wrong it’s
like what the hell’s wrong with me
what’s wrong with the people around me
this is really serious and some you know
well-meaning person comes up and says oh
you’re okay just the way you are it’s
like no one wants that message it’s like
no I’m not okay the way I am I’m not
okay at all the way I am I know that and
so you know when I’m when I’m speaking
to to when I’m speaking now I say to
people well oh you’re nowhere near what
you could be that’s the that’s the
positive message it’s like yeah you’re a
mess but you don’t have to stay that way
as you’re a mess you know it obviously
you’re suffering away like like so much
you can barely tolerate it it’s like
that’s okay
you can do something about it so yeah
that’s the thing that that turns the
lights on it’s like you do something
about it I started studying people that
did more not people that didn’t do more
not people that said do less not people
that said hey don’t be satisfied or be
satisfied not people that said they’d be
grateful for what you have I started
studying people that said and had done
more that you can do more that’s who I
listen to today I listened to the people
aren’t my friends in my life the people
I listen to the people I talk to the
people that I follow on Facebook or or
or YouTube or Instagram
I don’t follow everybody I follow the
people that say you can do more dude I
follow the people that say I am doing
more I follow the people that are
actually doing something on this planet
to make a difference for the better you
have to be selective you have to give
something up okay you cannot listen to
everybody to every voice to every person
is quit or given up you got to make a
decision if you have that little voice
inside of you that says you can do more
you have to give attention to that voice
and you got to feed it with those that
support that idea that you can do more
it’s a very natural process to begin
something to be very excited and then as
you go down that process to realize yeah
I actually don’t like this it’s not
giving me as much energy as I thought of
what is taking energy away and therefore
I want to give up and quit that thing
and she said if you do that once or
twice like hey so be it but if you’re
doing it every time if you just love
that initial rush that excitement of
something new but the actual
nitty-gritty reality of getting good at
it of doing what Mitch ikkaku calls
having but power meaning you’ve set your
butt in the seat and you do the work if
that’s really your problem and nothing
is interesting enough for you to sit
there and do the work you haven’t
developed grit yet and so grit is the
ability to persevere to see things
through to go past the point at which it
is stopped being fun and it becomes
boring because you believe in your end
goal enough you’re excited by what
you’re trying to accomplish so much that
you’re willing to fight through all of
that difficulty you’re willing to fight
through the ball
you’re willing to fight through the
unease that arises when you step outside
your comfort zone you’re doing things
you’re not good at and things that are
boring those are the two things that I
find killed most people they just cannot
handle the things that make them go oh
god like I’m not very good at this and
I’m feeling really badly about myself
and they forget that they can get good
on a long enough timeline and then to
inevitably in any pursuit of greatness
in any endeavor where you’re trying to
gain master you’re gonna get bored
because practice is repetition it’s
doing something over and over and over
and over to really train yourself to get
to the point where you’re truly
exceptional and there’s just so much
boredom inherent in that process so
building in the resilience to see all
that stuff through is the key part of
grit every single morning Monday through
Fridays at 9:00 a.m. I host a live
call-in radio show on Sirius satellite
radio it’s called make it happen with
Mel Robbins and the thing that’s been so
crazy about that show is every single
person that calls me on that show they
call in because they’re feeling stuck in
their lives and they’re resigned about
their ability to change their lives and
I’m not talking about people that are
nuts I’m talking about successful people
like you and me that just somehow got
stuck in their lives and I’m not talking
about people that are looking for cheesy
self-help I’m talking about people that
really want to figure out how to move
themselves forward and you know I find
that so many of us think that our dreams
are unreachable or unrealistic and it’s
just so sad I mean people think that
their dreams disappear and if that’s
what you think congratulations you’re
officially stuck and the truth is that
our dreams are always there and they
don’t ever give up on us we give up on
them but here’s the secret if you just
force yourself and I mean force because
I know damn well none of you want to do
anything about this and I also know
you’re sitting there like yeah the
self-help crap this isn’t for me but if
you just force yourself to take a couple
small steps there’s always a surprise I
kept my job at McKinley and part-time I
started in the financial services
industry and started to build a team of
people and started to get my licenses
and
that transition and I struggled like
every upstart entrepreneur does I think
it’s like three to five years until you
really get a few clients you know not in
any business I don’t care if it’s
financial services tech dry cleaners
entrepreneurs the first five years is
just full of false starts get it going
then you don’t you get it going you take
a step forward you take three back it’s
constant false starts it’s constantly
thinking you have it going it’s
constantly negotiating in your mind the
price you’re paying is it worth that
should I quit should I give in I’m
constantly I spent the first five years
daily contemplating quitting yeah all
the time because it’s not fun it wasn’t
fun and and even there’s just a part of
you I think and anything you’re doing
when you’re struggling is this really
for me is this my destiny should I be
doing this and we miss Reed failure from
some sign you know is this a sign I
shouldn’t be doing it you know is this a
sign I am you know not cut out for this
instead of looking for signs that you
can win right and so I spent the first
five years literally trying to find ways
to quit trying to find ways to get out
struggling and struggling and struggling
and I went broke I lost a car and the
water turned off in my place I you know
I bought out my first house I ended up
having it foreclosed on eventually so
I’m not that house with the unicorn’s
that you saw right or my beach place
like that’s all they after people don’t
realize that there were just years and
years of of grinding and struggling and
worrying in the beginning and then then
I made some mental changes and some
shifts yeah that altered my life then
again there’s differences and then
there’s there’s not differences so you
know the brain is the same the brain
evolved over the course of millions of
years so I try to make the point that
you know what da Vinci was going through
the process is there’s a template there
and it’s the same because our brains
haven’t really changed in an
evolutionary sense in four or five
hundred years on the other hand the
circumstances are different and people
now live in a world where there’s many
more distractions so it’s harder to do
that kind of focus that I was mentioning
so in some ways it’s a little bit harder
and the people that I’ve interviewed
are really good at shutting out all of
the distractions of the world that’s
sort of what separates them every single
one of them Paul Graham you know Paul
Graham Paul doesn’t have a smartphone
yeah yeah he doesn’t spend time on the
Internet
he’s extremely focused the woman yoky
Matsuoka she she does all of her writing
with a pen and paper she’s not sitting
there day in and day out on the computer
of checking her Facebook or Twitter page
or whatever I could go through all of
them that way Steve Jobs is sort of the
ultimate icon of mastery of our era and
he said the only thing that’s
differentiated me from everyone else was
my level of focus I could take a problem
and I could focus on it and burrow into
it and everybody else was so distracted
he knew how to close his door get away
from his wife his kids everyone and just
focus so the all of these people have to
overcome the tense distractions in our
world today and they’re able to do it on
the other hand what you can get with a
click on the internet with a Google
search compared to what da Vinci had to
do or a scientist in the 19th or 20th
century is absolutely astounding so what
you have at your fingertips the
knowledge the things that you can
connect and learn about the potential
for learning skills is out of this world
so if you’re able to overcome the
distracting elements that are it’s my go
over and I wrote compare it to if you
ever watch a basketball game and you see
the opposing team shooting free throw
and everyone behind him and the stands
are all going like this with those big
you know trying to distract him there’s
like hundreds of people that’s what the
world is like now you’ve got thousands
of people waving those things you’ve got
so many distractions if you’re able to
overcome that and be a person that can
focus you have this like wealth of
information and knowledge and ability to
acquire skills that nobody a hundred
years ago 20 years ago could dream about
you know a lot of these interviews to
question that
oh it’s the worst is people will say
where do you get your ideas I don’t know
where I get them you know and if I did
man would I tell you I mean Jesus
they’ve been good to me all I know is
that I sit down and I turn on the
machine and there’s always that first
ten minutes it’s like smelling a dead
fish or walking into a monkey house and
then something will click a little tiny
bit and that leads to something else and
it’s like until it’s going faster and
faster and then you hit this kind of
escape velocity you’re gone
[Music]
the world the normal mundane sort of
stupid world where you got to do the
breakfast dishes and you got to make the
beds you know and you got to worry about
getting the kid to the dentist all
that’s gone but there’s a place where
you have to walk away from it because
it’s so kind of addictive they do
otherwise you might just sit there and
skip meals and just being lost in that
world you wouldn’t want to do that
because that’s sort of the way crazy
people are in institutions you know what
I’m saying
I’m in meetings a lot my calendar gets
very full with those and then at night
after the kids have gone to bed I’m on
email a great deal I get messages during
the day that’s my chance to give long
responses and then over the weekend I
send a lot of mail as well as well I
take two weeks a year to just go off and
read and think where I’m not interrupted
by work or anything else I’m just
solidly trying to think about the future
and people get to send me things to read
as part of that so-called think week so
it’s nice mix of things about 25% of the
time then I’m out traveling around
meeting with customers Europe Asia and
that sort of helps me think okay do we
have the right priorities what what are
people responding well to and what would
they they like to see us do better
well magnitude is one of the most
strongest forms of power and attract
good things you know if you truly feel
grateful for the things in your life
I always felt grateful for even the
small things I always used to celebrate
the small things now I might be
celebrating the bigger things but I
always celebrate every little good thing
that would happen to me in my life even
before I had any kind of money or ever I
would celebrate and I would feel
grateful for it and it just gave me more
and this is exactly the same thing
that’s happening right now I still
remain grateful and Morricone’s continue
to change and continue to get bigger and
I think as I as I sort of reached
certain milestones certain
accomplishments you know it only makes
me realize that I need to dream bigger
and I think that same thing for you guys
I think as you really build that
confidence through your career as you
really start start you know building
your career and building your
relationships and seeing your dreams
actually realized you just have to
continue to keep dreaming bigger and
that’s why it’s so important to always
continue learning in my opinion because
there’s always there’s there you’ve
never made it I think we all can always
continue to do let’s do more let’s be
better and bigger goal if you own a
business and I resume a lot of your
viewers are business owners or for
getting started in business no matter
how good you are in business think about
this the one universal rule that idiots
in finance know is diversification if
the only free lunch you’ve got a
diversify because if you put all your
eggs in one basket no matter how good
the basket is one day that real estate
market that stock market that bond
market that collectibles mark whatever
you invest in rate Elliott showed me
statistically it’ll drop 50 to 70
percent on a day now if you’re later in
life and that happens it’s over for you
so you have to diversify yet most people
they know real estate so they do it or
they know stocks they do it or they grew
up with the hand their parents flipping
things and it’s the wrong thing to do so
you’ve got to diversify in order for you
to be able to truly succeed and that’s
why when you want a business yeah if you
put all your money in your business
which is what most of us do naturally
you put all your eggs in one basket
there’s things that can happen I mean
you know you’re let’s say you spend 20
years and you figured out how to put
together the ultimate map you know and
remember Garmin came out with this thing
called the TomTom and or if you’re
number used to get on your left remember
that yeah just put on your down cost a
hundred bucks it was a breakthrough or
something oh yeah yeah six months later
their own zero what’s it gonna do to
your business when someone takes your
product reserve it gives away for free
so I always tell people
competition happens technology happens
what you must do is have a second
business we know with no moving parts no
people no time maybe it takes you two to
three days a year for two or three hours
after you’ve read the book you put it in
place and you measure it two three times
a year that’s it yeah go on with your
life now there’s our trouble in your
business you’re financially set I in my
life at thirty-one companies now we have
you know what do we have twelve hundred
employees
seventy different industries we do five
billion in sales I mean I used to be you
know me and my seminar business it’s
grown geometrically but with all those
moving parts the only way I’ve been able
to succeed is because I’ve taken
everyone those businesses that I’ve
diversified my assets so that when
things were in trouble I still have
enough economics figure myself and keep
the business going so everybody needs to
create a money machine that works while
you sleep that doesn’t have moving parts
and that’s what this is really about I
don’t know it’s a lot of negativity to
some degree a lot of grind it just kind
of feels like the grind a little bit and
so I just kind of felt like it wasn’t a
space that I wanted to be in as much
anymore like I I want to be in a happy
space where I’m just doing things that
are bring me joy and yeah it just it
wasn’t doing that as much or I was
noticing it I was noticing I was missing
that or wanting it more I think that’s
really what it comes from is growing as
a person and realizing I think
everybody’s afraid to take chances and
do something new in their life because
they’re identified a certain way or
they’ll be judged if they don’t do it or
judged if they do something different
and who are they now and are they crazy
and what are they thinking and you know
it’s just life just do things that make
you happy I do think that with it’s not
just in sport but with with other things
I do believe that the more you repeat
certain things whether it is writing
working on your you know whether it’s
cursive letters or whatever it is like
when you work on something and you keep
doing it over and over it’s inevitable
that it will get better and by that
you’re creating this feeling of
repetition which leads to discipline
like you know you can do it over and
over again and that’s one of my first
one of my first coaches Robert Lansdorp
who I speak about in the book but that
was his philosophy is you I would take a
lesson from him and his philosophy was
just hitting and grinding and it wasn’t
about patterns or anything which you
know as I could get from somebody else
but what he gave me is that feeling that
I could hit the ball from any part of
the court and feel like I could do it
with closed eyes and make it and know
exactly where it’s going and for me it
started at a young age like my mom would
would make me memorize this Russian
literature that I did not appreciate at
five years old it was very difficult and
I didn’t know what it meant but I would
do it and I would memorize it and then I
would feel that I accomplished something
I don’t know why I don’t know but the
repetition led me to this discipline and
and I think that helps with mindset it’s
all in the mindset when you get up in
the morning you do what you normally do
I would eventually say a lot of you here
probably turn on your cellphone’s your
computers and what’s the latest email
what’s the latest text that comes in you
start your day off like that that’s your
mindset
try this get up in the morning do
whatever you have to do don’t turn the
computer on don’t turn the TV on go
right back to bed again either lay there
or sit there
and just bring the universe to you
here’s how you do it you just be it’s
virtually impossible when you first do
it because the thousand thoughts come
through your head we’re human beings
so what you do is your city in bed look
at the wall look at the TV set look at
the ceiling look at the door look at
something in the room to get your
attention and just look at it and just
be for a couple of minutes not 10
minutes not 20 minutes not two days just
be when your mind wanders find another
spot in the room to look at so you’re
back in present time even for a couple
of minutes now go about your day don’t
think about what you’re gonna do for
that split few minutes
you’re now becoming part of a universe
which is also part of global thinking
Oscar how did you go from being my
assistant to a famous big-time movie
producer just by never taking no for an
answer and a following believing I could
do anything which I learned in the nice
dad’s studio all right seriously this
guy would just over and over again I’d
never seen anything like it you just say
you’re smart figure it out you’re smart
figure it out you’re smart figure it out
I don’t care how long it takes just make
it beautiful and that sounded a little
weird at the time because you’re used to
work in a restaurant or being a
landscaper but it’s actually really
empowering and it took me a while to
figure that out
and the more movies I made the more I
realized it didn’t matter it kind of
applies to everything do not cast pearls
before swine and what that means is that
if people are not listening to you stop
talking to them and that’s really that
is the best piece of advice that I can
give you and what happens is is that if
you stop talking to people who aren’t
listening to you and start watching them
instead they will tell you what they’re
up to but so if you have things to say
say them but you find people that will
listen talk to them the ones who aren’t
listening pull back because you’re
you’re devaluing what you have to say by
offering it to an audience that does
nothing but reject it and that’s a good
guideline to life in general so pull
back to many of you in here have ego
around your time when it’s the only
thing you got
so the reason I always know is cuz I
work because I work I work I try things
i test i DM you back i sweet i i’ve work
so when you’re in CH you taste it and
when you’ve done it for 20 years
you see patterns facebook’s still
underpriced you just can’t target 22 to
25 year old african-american fans of
football because other people are doing
that too now it’s just like google early
on you could just target soccer one-word
5 cents a click I did it wine wine wine
but then I had to put at the end of the
game now I got to put 2013 you know
Heller cellars Zinfandel like long tail
real estate if you’re right about London
look it’s my favorites do you know what
do you understand that somebody once
bought this building for $1 somebody
bought the land we’re on for $1 once
that happened it’s a long time ago how
do you know you’re a practitioner the
reason I do is to how I learned you got
to put up all of you were like well I
can’t do podcasting and Facebook and
Twitter oh but I can’t I can blog but I
can’t why if you want it so bad my thing
is why if you want it so bad why can’t
if you want to have a media company
around Caribbean food culture why can’t
you I want to you know what I want to
want to see all your minutes I want to
give you d-roc for today I want to watch
you from the moment you wake up to the
moment you go to sleep let me promise
so so that’s why daily be happened
because you guys like a lot of you
didn’t know me before daily be how many
people knew me before daily be well not
bad right
you got you got to really know me post
daily V you heard hard work and hustle
before you were confused and I’ve been
doing that every day for 20 years
fail early fail often fail forward you
know it’s always a little bit
frustrating to me when people have a
negative relationship with failure
failure is a massive part of being able
to be successful you have to get
comfortable with failure yep you have to
actually seek failure failure is where
all of the lessons are you know when you
go to the gym and you work out you’re
actually seeking failure you want to
take your muscles to the point where you
get to failure because that’s where the
the adaptation is that’s where growth is
successful people who fail a lot they
fail a whole lot more than they succeed
but they extract the lessons from the
failure and they use that the the energy
and they use the wisdom to come around
to the next phase of success you got to
take a shot you have to live at the edge
of your capabilities you got to live
where you’re almost certain you’re gonna
fail that’s the reason for a practice
practice is controlled failure you’re
getting to your limit getting to your
limit getting to your limit you can’t
lift that you can’t do that you until
you get to the point that all of a
sudden your body makes the adjustment
and then you can do it
failure actually helps you to recognize
the areas where you need to evolve so
fail early fail often fail forward I
hear a lot of guys saying right now like
hey only do the things you want to do
dude I do stuff I don’t want to do every
single day okay so I don’t know who
these people are that don’t do the
things they don’t want to do maybe they
were given a business or something but
I’m gonna tell you something man if you
don’t do the things you don’t want to do
you’re not going to grow your
she won’t keep your business I’m telling
you you have to be willing to do you got
to be so obsessed that you don’t collect
care see an obsessed person doesn’t care
if they have to clean a toilet uh-huh
you know an obsessed person doesn’t care
if they if they don’t like that activity
but they have to do it
you’re obsessed you’re in it you do it
anyway no matter what I remember my mom
told me one day she’s like you know
grant I love you just the way you are
because I still I’m telling her about
all these dreams I have as a child right
yeah and I was reminded when my sister
told me like 30 years later you know
grant you’ve done a lot we love you just
the way you are and I’m like dude I
wonder how many times I’ve been told
that you know and the fact is so what
they love me just the way I am I don’t I
don’t love me just the way I am which
opens up to this whole field of people
that’s like just love yourself the way
you are look if you’re broke you’re not
living on purpose you don’t like your
job you can’t get away from your job
dude
if you’re stuck in a house you don’t
like why would you want to love that you
should become obsessed with hating it
man it’s obsessed or average one of the
two so pick just pick get a t-shirt
obsessed or get another t-shirt average
which one would you be more proud
wearing right yeah who do I want to be
man who do I want to be how do i how do
I want to die man
I want to die all in I’m not mr. mentor
I’m not the one who says let’s sit down
tell me how it’s going I’m gonna tell
you exactly how I am get off your ass
and get out there and sell something
I mean I’ve never been the okay I need a
mentor you know a lot of people look for
mentors thinking they’re gonna tell me
the shortcut ah mark you be my mentor
you know the way and they think I’m
gonna go convey some magics here’s the
dust go go go
it doesn’t work that way I still grind
I love the grind if you’re competing on
one of my businesses I’m gonna kick your
ass cuz I’m gonna I’ll grind you right
that’s what being an entrepreneur
they’re an entrepreneur is you’ve got to
get out there and do the work so when it
comes to how do you learn right because
that’s the question how do I learn this
stuff and everybody everybody has got to
go through that process right I read our
I’m in the tech business I’m a media
business the entertainment business I’ve
got to try to prepare myself for all the
Shark Tank businesses I read three hours
plus a day right what everybody else is
getting a suntan or even when I’m
getting a suntan I’ve got I’m online or
I’ve got books I’m reading all I can if
you want to make progress and things I
think that but the the best analytical
framework for us and in the future is
physics I’d recommend studying the the
thinking process around physics like not
just not the equations I mean the
equations certainly they’re helpful but
the way of thinking in physics is the
that’s the best framework for
understanding things that are
counterintuitive and and you know always
taking the position that you are some
degree wrong and your goal is to be less
one of the biggest mistakes people
generally make and I’m guilty of it too
is wishful thinking you know like you
want something to be true even if it
isn’t true and so you ignore the things
that you ignore the real truth because
of what you want to be true this is a
very difficult trap to avoid and like I
said certainly one that I find myself in
having problems with but if you just
take that approach of your oyster some
degree wrong and your goal is to be less
wrong and and solicit critical feedback
particularly from friends like friends
particularly friends if somebody loves
you they want the best for you they
don’t want to tell you the bad thing so
you have to ask them okay you know it
said really I really do want to know and
then they’ll tell you well there’s a ton
of failures along the way that’s for
sure I said as a support for SpaceX the
first three launches failed and we were
just barely able to scrape together
enough parts and money to do the fourth
launch that both launch should fail who
would have been dead so multiple
failures along the way I tried very hard
to get the right expertise in for for
SpaceX I tried hard to to find a great
chief engineer for the rocket but it but
the good Chief Engineers wouldn’t join
and the bad ones well there was no point
in hiring him so I ended up being chief
engineer of the rocket so if I could
have found somebody better then we would
have maybe had less than three failures
how do I get over my block of I am never
good enough especially when my
significant other has high expectations
but does not support me in reaching
those expectations okay so we have two
issues so first of all getting over your
block of I’m not good enough for me the
thing that absolutely destroyed all of
that is my unflagging belief in one
simple thing I
can learn anything so I may not be good
at that thing now I may really not be
good enough like when I think about
building a studio to rival Disney I’m
not good enough yet there’s a huge chasm
and skill set between me and Bob Iger
and being able to do that I fully
understand that and I have to do
something different which is found this
create all the energy whereas Bob Iger
came in wait I mean they’ve been in
business for like 75 years or something
by the time he came along so it is a
really intriguing skill set to be able
to both build and create something scale
it and then run it once it’s big so I
know full well that I am not yet the
person that I need to be in order to do
that and so my time and energy is spent
in building that skill set so I don’t
freak out over the fact that I’m not
good enough that’s very easy for me to
admit I instead spend my time thinking
about how do i acquire those skills in
order to actually become good enough so
don’t let your self-worth be tied up in
that notion of good enough humans are
the ultimate adaptation machine from
that I derive my sort of high-level
sense of worth it hey every human being
has worth because they’re an ultimate
adaptation machine and they can become
anything they want that’s just really
cool and amazing and then also I just am
deeply compassionate for the human
condition so yeah regardless of where
people fall on that path of actually
executing against that potential I get
it man being a human is both beautiful
amazing all this potential it’s really
hard so have compassion for yourself
which i think is incredibly important
and know that this is hard and then
believe that you can become anything
that you set your mind to and then just
be honest with yourself you don’t have
to want to be the greatest in the world
so whether you let somebody else apply
those high standards to you or not is
completely your choice just remember
it’s a choice and you’re not not great
because you can’t be you’re not great
because you haven’t applied yourself to
that so that is the key for me like
understanding that my life is an exact
reflection of my choices is entirely
liberating so remember your life is an
exact reflection of your choices if you
want a different result you simply need
to make a different choice you know I’ve
heard a lot of experts say that fear
isn’t real that is such a bunch of
baloney fear is so real in
fact there are probably things that
you’re afraid of doing right now in your
life in your relationships at work and
the fact that you’re afraid that’s
robbing you of all of the experiences
that you want to have in your life I
mean if you’re afraid to fly that’s
gonna limit your ability to travel and
see the world or go visit friends if
you’re afraid of public speaking that’s
gonna really limit your ability to
express yourself and share your ideas if
you’re afraid of talking to your boss or
asking for a raise that directly impacts
how much money you make or what if you
are dreaming of starting a business or
you’ve already started a new business
but you’re afraid to talk to people and
you’re afraid to share your business
with people I mean fear is something
that stops us all and that’s why I’m
here to talk to you because it doesn’t
have to fear is real but I am gonna
share a secret weapon that I have used
for years to beat every single fear that
used to stop me now first before we get
into the secret weapon I just want to
cover a few facts about fear what it is
what it isn’t and some things that you
may not know about fear so first thing
fear is a physical state in your body
that is exactly the same as excitement
let me say that again fear and
excitement are the exact same physical
state your heart races you might sweat a
little bit
you might feel tightening in your chest
you might feel a pit in your stomach you
have a surge of cortisol it’s basically
the way that your body goes into a hyper
aware state because it’s readying for
action now what’s the difference between
fear and excitement really simple the
only difference between fear and
excitement is what your brain is doing
as your body is all agitated if you’re
excited your brain is going oh wow this
is going to be so cool to ride this
roller coaster if you’re afraid your
brain is going oh
no way there’s no way I’m doing that
this is dangerous get out of there don’t
do that it’s saying something different
so what’s critical about understanding
this is that we’re gonna use the fact
that your mind is either working for you
for excitement or against you with fear
to your advantage
I’ll tell you about it in just a minute
how you’re gonna do that second thing I
want you to understand is that you may
have heard the advice feel the fear and
do it anyway you may have heard the
advice oh just try to calm down think
positive thoughts it doesn’t work does
it and there’s a reason why it doesn’t
work so let’s go back to fact number one
when you’re afraid your body’s in a
state of arousal and agitation it your
heart is racing and you’re all like
amped up and you’re hyper aware of
what’s going on and you’re freaking out
a little bit what is it like when you’re
calm ah it’s just kind of chilled right
you got like this low arousal state very
very difficult to go from a state of
agitation of being all jacked up and
excited and weirded out uh to a kind of
state it doesn’t work it’s like trying
to stop a train by throwing a boulder on
the track so it’s gonna make the train
jump off the tracks it’s gonna cause a
disaster in fact they’ve proven in
research that when you try to ignore
your fears it actually makes them worse
they’ve also proven in research the
positive thinking alone also can make
your fears work worse so what do you do
what do you do when you’re about to go
talk to your boss and you feel afraid
what do you do when you have to get on a
plane and you’re actually terrified of
flying what do you do if you got to give
a presentation and you are afraid of
public speaking here’s what you’re gonna
do you’re gonna use a strategy the same
one that I use that has helped me beat
every single fear and turn me into
somebody that is terrific
when it comes to a high-stress situation
this is how you do it
you’re gonna use my five second rule in
combination with what I call an anchor
thought and that is going to reframe
what your mind is doing so that your
mind goes from feeling agitation
and making you afraid to reframing it
from agitation to excitement it works
like magic now I have used this
technique for years literally for years
and one of the ways that I want to
introduce you to it is I want to take
you backstage I want to take you
backstage to a speech that I delivered
this year and what you’re gonna see is
you’re gonna see me behind you know the
major set I’m about to walk out you can
kind of hear the crowd roaring my
introductory video is playing my body is
in a state of arousal
I am literally my heart is racing my
arms are sweating like it’s like you’re
gonna see this I’m gonna tell you about
it and you’re gonna watch me use this
same technique I’m gonna teach you to
reframe my nerves into excitement I was
believing more I mean I sure did like
but I was doing and I had people and I
couldn’t you know honestly at that time
I mean I have people come on over hey
man you’re gonna cool things cuz it sure
is so I really didn’t I really didn’t
know
I guess secretly if I look back I and I
looked at my Diaries ever there was hope
underlying but I was still like I need
to go out and get a job and I can pursue
acting on the side I get it get a PA job
Hitler storytelling visit behind the
camera and let’s see and then another
funny thing happened at that first
audition when I got out here was for
casting a cream Hank McCain hmm no
talking about it was for film call boys
on the side and I went in red and he
goes that’s Jamie did really good I’ll
have him for a callback
sometimes I went off from there I get
called in for a baseball film angels in
the outfield I walk in the door
this is this there’s a bunch of funny
peculiar how the hell I got to be
standing here today I walk in the door
was backlit iron erotica
they had a American cap on was on Warner
Brothers lot I open up the door was back
late in the afternoon
producers sitting on the couch he looks
at me hey y’all mary did you ever play
bass parts in 12 years because she got
[Applause]
fabulous 48 48 doesn’t father obstacle
play baseball for 11 weeks in Oakland
again I’m going what is this business
but it happened in during that I got
called back to read for Herbert rostral
boys on the side you got that role and
so I that that Coen Brothers film that
got pushed that P a job that I would
have taken if it was their never happened and I have a PA
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